Patriot Mobile

You'd be forgiven to mistake this for an in-game parody website in Grand Theft Auto V.

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Patriot Mobile is an American far-right mobile virtual network operator (MVNO) established in 2015 by fundie activist Chris Wilson. As with the later but unrelated Freedom Phone venture, it is marketed towards a conservative Christian audience, i.e., Real Americans™, hence the slogan "America’s only Christian conservative wireless service provider." and "The same great nationwide coverage without funding Big Mobile and the causes of the Left".

It is a classic example of Poe's Law: with its theme of "patriotism" and "freedom" along with the use of American national symbolism and red-white-and-blue, as well as its core belief that "America was founded as a Christian nation", one might think this could be either an elaborate joke to make conservatives look more clownish or something out of a typical political satire piece from Grand Theft Auto (whose ridicule of both left- and right-wing political views are a recurring gag throughout the series). It is, however, sadly real and operational, as can be seen from the reviews (many of which are negative) and its online store. It’s one of countless overpriced MVNOs using T-Mobile and AT&T towers, nothing special, not to mention that at least one former employee has complained about open homophobia and racism in their offices. The company is estimated to have just under 100,000 subscribers.

Basically, it's a PAC-slash-hate group fronting themselves as a telecom provider.

Yeehaw!

Mixed nuts

Your political lifestyleism at work.

Besides veterans organizations and charities, groups of note whom the telecom provider supports include the National Rifle Association, the pseudohistorical advocacy group WallBuilders, and Turning Point USA, among other far-right wingnuts. They are also affiliated with Alliance Defending Freedom, an organization that the Southern Poverty Law Center designates as an anti-LGBT hate group and is known to have opposed measures intended to curb the spread of COVID-19, as well as Family Research Council, also a designated hate group by the SPLC. Patriot Mobile themselves oppose vaccine mandates, believing it to be "unconstitutional" and an infringement of "their employees' individual liberty", apparently ignoring the fact that similar restrictions on public health concerns such as smoking have been in place before and was only questioned by tobacco companies and their lobby groups as well as libertarians, and that health crises of dire concern far outweigh any issues about freedom of speech and personal liberties.

In 2023, the company received backlash for donating a pizza gift certificate to a police department, due in part to efforts by Patriot Mobile to indoctrinate schools into their canards about critical race theory and the woke movement which they perceive to be a "danger" to students.

Ammu-Nation

“”The existence of evil is one of the very best reasons to arm, law abiding citizens.

—Donald Trump

2A is love, 2A is life.

Bizarrely (or should we say unsurprisingly?), a core tenet of the wireless provider is to uphold the Second Amendment to the core, perhaps in a borderline fetishistic fashion — more than any sane telecom company (or any company for that matter) would admit publicly, arguing that the recent rash in mass shootings and the resurgence of the Taliban has left Americans vulnerable, thus the need for moar gunz. And isn't it ironic that they'd hold life sacred by shunning the act of abortion and shaming those who do so, and yet not give a damn about the rash of spree shootings across the country and celebrate the very same culture of death they're supposed to despise?^{[citation NOT needed]}

Defiantly enough, Patriot Mobile attended the annual NRA meeting along with dozens of other gun nut luminaries, all despite intense protests denouncing the lobby group in light of the Robb Elementary School shooting (which left more than a dozen schoolchildren suffering from a horrific death), not to mention the obvious tastelessness and insensitivity of holding a gun show soon after a tragic mass shooting. They even dared to thank Donald Trump for "defending our Second Amendment rights".

The irony is not lost

Selling your enemies' goods

Have fun expressing your patriotism with a phone from those dirty liberal scumbags bent at taking away your freedom.

All things considered, they cannot operate on their own without having to use hardware and infrastructure developed and marketed by "Big Mobile" corporations such as T-Mobile (using former Sprint towers which they originally leased their lines from) and devices from companies with perceived progressive ideologies such as Apple (iPhone) and Google (Android). Not to mention that they offer 5G coverage alongside 4G LTE, which is a little odd considering opposition to the cellular standard by some due to irrational fears about 5G radiation and its (unsubstantiated) link to COVID-19 as propagated by some of those whom Patriot Mobile caters to.

Unsurprisingly, T-Mobile's association with Patriot Mobile led to some backlash from those who did not take kindly to the MNVO's yee-haw antics, as more than a thousand signed an online petition demanding T-Mobile to cut ties with Patriot Mobile. The American subsidiary of Deutsche Telekom remains unfazed, however, as they state that they merely rent excess capacity over to smaller companies regardless of platform or ideology.

Nation under God?

The irony is not lost when the providers you lease your coverage from are from the same left-leaning corporations you so despise.

Also ironic is their insistence that the United States is a "Christian" nation, contrary to what the Founding Fathers established during the American Revolution. Many of them were either deists, lapsed Christians, and/or Freemasons who valued secularism over dogmatic or theocratic screeds, making Patriot Mobile's beliefs laughably bad if not terribly misguided.

They also argued in a blog post that "Church and State CANNOT be Separated", which is contradicted by a passage they quoted verbatim about the Establishment Clause, which, as we all know, prevents any bias towards a particular faith or the degeneration into a theocratic regime. They then go on a long-winded rant about how those dirty, secular goons tear down religious monuments and ban public expression of religious beliefs while slyly trying to maintain that it's free for everyone to express their beliefs (or lack thereof). Basically, it's just their own persecution complex at work.

Where are your principles?

Even more ironic (and disturbing) are allegations by a number of employees regarding the company's higher-ups, such as when a former employee accused chief technology officer (CTO) Everett Trost of grooming and rape, threatening to terminate her should she refuse to undergo an abortion, and when former customer service manager Rodney Banks was fired for lashing out at the rampant racism within the company's offices. The company is also alleged to have engaged in tax evasion and other forms of financial fraud.

Pwned!

In May 2024, TechCrunch revealed that Patriot Mobile was subject to a data breach that included subscribers' full names, email addresses, home ZIP codes, and account PINs. An unidentified hacker provided the tech website with samples of data they stole from the provider, apparently due to a bug on the Patriot Mobile website which allowed otherwise private information to be accessed by third parties. According to TechCrunch, a bug on Patriot Mobile’s public website also appeared to be leaking some of the same personal information.

See also

• Alt-tech
• Freedom Phone
• National Rifle Association, the powers-that-be that Patriot Mobile venerates

External links

• Official website