Recipe:Recipes for preparing and serving human babies
Non-user made recipes
Jonathan Swift's recipe
While a modest meal, babies are best eaten as the primary ingredient of an Irish Stew, along with carrots, onions and potatoes. Boil, then add chopped vegetables and add stock. Bring back to the boil and simmer.
User made recipes
I do not eat babies, and find the whole concept to be repulsive. Feti on the other hand… —En attendant Godot"«Oh, my Lolita, I have only words to play with! V.Nabokov» 11:15, 27 March 2009 (EDT)
Crowing Rabidly's recipe
- Babies are, in fact, very delicious. They're the other other white meat!
First, tie all of the baby's limbs to something to prevent it moving. Then prepare an altar to Satan or another false god, such as Dawkins or Darwin (the gods of the pagan atheist evolutionists). Heat up a grill. Plunge the knife into the baby's chest and take out the still-beating heart. Eat it raw. Drain the blood onto the altar. Cut into the stomach and chest cavity and remove internal organs, except for the liver. Set liver to the side. Turn the body over and cut the brain out. Take anything you might need for casting a magic spell away and save it for later. Throw all internal organs you have left except for the liver on the altar and burn them. Shout " Hail ( false god of choice)" and pray that your deed will not be uncovered. At this point, you may summon a few demons or so (because all gods except YHWH are actually tools of Satan, which you secretly know but won't admit, just like the fact God is real. See a Chick Tract on the occult (which is obviously accurate) for proof.) Let the Dark Lord's power flow through you, and perhaps cast a few curses on your innocent neighbors or read from an occult book such as the Harry Potter Series. Impale the baby on a stake and set it above the coals of the grill, turning constantly until cooked through. Take it off the grill and carve it up. If there is anything you wish to keep for magic, such as an eye or tongue, remove it. Debone and cut up into bite-sized chunks. Take the liver and cook on the grill until ready, flipping every few minutes. Take all remaining unnecessary material and burn it on the altar! Pile remaining flesh on a plate. Bring any necessary condiments, such as ketchup, hot sauce, or mustard. Enjoy! -Pootisbird (talk) 19:05, 22 January 2019 (UTC) (talk) 19:02, 22 January 2019 (UTC)
- Buy aborted fetal parts from Planned Parenthood, because you're a pro-choice baby killer.
- Add in some shellfish meat and ham, because you want to sin.
- Cook on stove for 6.66 minutes.
- Season with crumbs from stolen communion crackers, because you hate Christians and are bothered by their faith.
- Serve meal, and then eat using Bible pages as a napkin, because you hate God. --Goatspeed. All holidays matter🎄CircularRasoning🎄Prototype lab 19:18, 22 January 2019 (UTC)
- Find live baby.
- Dig in.
THE BABY SMOOTHIE
Great for parties!
- Give birth, adopt a baby, or just snatch someone else's baby
- Throw baby into a blender.
- Carve a pentagram into the lid of the blender using your own teeth, and sing praise of Satan.
- Pour out contents.
How to make Chef Moosolini's famous baby meat Italian meatballs!
Enjoy this recipe courtesy of Chef Moosolini's Ristorante Italiano! This recipe was featured on Chef Moosolini's Hardcore Kitchen! Check it out every Saturday on FOX!
First off, you need a good supply of ground baby meat. You can obtain this at your local abortion provider or else just kidnap a kid and grind its flesh yourself until the texture and consistency is similar to ground pork. Christian children are particularly tasty. With that done, we're ready to begin.
Other ingredients you'll need:
- 2 teaspoons olive oil
- 1 medium onion, chopped
- 3 garlic cloves, minced
- 3/4 cup seasoned bread crumbs
- 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
- 2 large eggs, lightly beaten
- 1 teaspoon each dried basil, oregano and parsley flakes
- 3/4 teaspoon salt
- Preheat oven to 375°. In a small skillet, heat oil over medium-high heat. Add onion; cook and stir until tender, 3-4 minutes. Add garlic; cook 1 minute longer. Cool slightly.
- In a large bowl, combine bread crumbs, cheese, eggs, seasonings and onion mixture. Add the ground child flesh; mix lightly but thoroughly. Shape into 1-1/2-in. balls.
- Place meatballs on a rack coated with cooking spray in a 15x10x1-in. baking pan. Bake until lightly browned and cooked through, 18-22 minutes. If desired, serve with pasta and pasta sauce.
- Say your proper Darwinist prayers and dig in!
- Find baby and carve up.
- Add vaccines and bible ashes into the chest cavity.
- Cook for 911 minutes on gas mark 666.
- Serve with a side of fluoridated dihydrogen monoxide solution and Ghost Peppers. CTB33391 (talk) 08:30, 8 March 2019 (UTC)
- Find existing Mario characters. , , , , , make for good candidates. and are available only in certain kart parts shops, but they serve to complement the resulting dish.
- Force them through a time machine where they meet their baby counterparts and then stop the ensuing alien invasion. Wait until the adults bring back their baby counterparts.
- Eat the baby counterparts. Raw is fine, but it has to be fresh and also free of scars. They taste much better if you can wrangle them during the and you cook them medium rare or an internal temperature of 145 degrees (Baby Mario requires higher temperatures for extra chewiness). Their offals are great if you BBQ them like the Koreans do with their pork intestines.
- They taste better with parts of aborted fetus. You can marinate them in various zesty vaccines that were brewed with aborted fetus parts.
- Watch pro-life propaganda such as The Silent Scream, 180: Changing the Heart of a Nation, and Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time, as they tend to advertise bloody, but delicious third-trimester fetuses the exact same way your local Arby's advertises succulent BBQ sauce ribs under studio light.
- Aborted stars not included and require a different recipe all together.
First, get the baby (Preferably christian)
Put it in your oven, preheat it to 666°, put the baby in, forget about it, and
wake up to find the house on fire take out the next day, at 6:00 AM. Dump into a hole after tattooing a pentagram on its head, and throw some assorted satanic paraphernalia, throw eggs at it, take out after 666 minutes, hang the baby on a telephone pole. Take the baby out 6 days later, cut up, and enjoy! :) - Mike V • 🚩 04:16, 30 April 2019 (UTC)
- 1 fiddle
- 12 whole infants
- 5 torches
- 33 teaspoons of table salt
- 50 gallons horse blood
Use the 50 gallons of horse blood to draw a pentagram on the ground. Place the infants in the center of this pentagram, and cover them in 33 teaspoons of salt. Place one torch at each corner, then play "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" on the fiddle. Smoke should start coming out of the center of the pentagram. You have 10 seconds to leave the room before the ritual begins. After leaving the room, wait until you hear the bleating of a goat. Once you hear the bleating, start a timer for 11 minutes and 6 seconds (666 seconds). When the timer is up then you can safely enter the room again. A golden fiddle should have been left at one of the corners of the room and the table salt should have disappeared.
It is recommended to serve the cooked infants with gravy.
- Swift, Jonathan. A Modest Proposal. 1729.