User:TheUmbilicalCordGuy

As a confirmed mustard jar for taking on this job as a Sysop on RationalWiki: I, TheUmbilicalCordGuy, pledge to only block users if they ask for it, or insert unfunny vandalism. I furthermore pledge that if I indulge in secret private conversations about you, we will make a formal report to the mob. Is that all? If you impugn my motives without warrant, or challenge my "AUTHORITY", er, there is nothing I can or will do.

Jeremy Sanders and Bernie Corbyn.

My Userbox

Who I am This user is male. This user has Asperger's syndrome or is somewhere on the autism spectrum. This user is pansexual. "We are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further." This user is a Ninja. This user went to a public school, and was never homeschooled. This User Is America (And So Can You!) Science This user thinks evolution explains the origin of species. This user thinks that the Big Bang explains the origin of the Universe. This user thinks Hypatia of Alexandria was the pinnacle of womanhood. This user believes in a young Earth   — 4.5 billion years young. Politics This user supports Bernie Sanders. This user's Political Compass coordinates are -8.25,-8.56. Freedom of speech can be dangerous, but must be upheld by every one of us. This user believes in free speech for everyone - even idiots. This user believes in the right to bear frickin' sweet guns. This user believes in the right to arm frickin' sweet bears. This user believes that everyone is equal, regardless of race, religion or gender. racism This user is biased against racists. This user is a proud feminist. This user believes in equal rights for gay people. This user is not trans but will kick a transphobe's ass any day. This user supports the legalization of The Herb, otherwise known as sweet leaf, reefer, or left-handed cigarette. This user believes in universal healthcare This user is concerned about the environment. This user thinks President George W. Bush was not very good. This user would rather eat the chunks of corn in their crap than support George W. Bush. This user thinks that Donald Trump doesn't represent this user's America. This user will not support the IDF until they start to respect basic human rights. This user supports an independent Kurdish nation-state. This user supports the exit of Scotland from the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Quotes "Socialism is when the government does stuff, and the more stuff it controls and does, the more socialister it is." - Carl Marks "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap." - Some ancient Sumerian "I'm to be at the studio soon, for when I crap my pants on my live radio show starting in just a few hours." - Dana Loesch "Perhaps the Golden Globes should have been called the Golden Penises. Could they have fit any more penis jokes into that broadcast?" - Ben Shapiro "David Bowie on the radio. Was America out of its mind in the seventies? Jimmy Carter, too. And Diane Keaton. Awful decade." - Ben Shapiro "Chinese food is really really good" - Charlie Kirk Miscellanous # This user chats on Discord as Sir Dylan#4744. This user contributes using Google chrome. This user is MAD AS HELL and is not going to take it anymore! This user is a metalhead! This user likes it kinky This user is interested in Germany. This user has thumbs. user This user is a user. IQ This user's IQ is a fucking rock.. This user likes to play with the very fabric of space and time... and pussy. This user believes that a deadly virus is a deadly virus set to wipe out humanity. ... This user already has too many userboxes, but added another one anyway. This user thinks there is a lot more to the world than this. This user suffers from Depression and will never feel ashamed of that fact.

Pages I have made major contributions to

• 2020 Democratic Party presidential nomination
• 2020 Republican Party presidential nomination - created
• Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
• Ben Shapiro
• Chelsea Manning
• Chuck Schumer
• Dave Rubin
• Ilhan Omar - created
• Draft:Intellectual Dark Web - created draft
• Justice Democrats
• Michael J. Knowles - created
• Steve King
• US Immigration and Customs Enforcement - co-created with @DuceMoosolini

To-do list

• Howard Schultz - the Michael Eisner of coffee and the second dumbest 2020 candidate.
• Justin Amash - libertarian Republican Congressman with several cranky views, but also some stopped clock moments.
• Milo Stewart - nonbinary trans YouTuber who faced mass harassment from right-wing YouTube for their gender and views on implicit bias.
• Sam Seder - social democratic comedian and radio host.
• Thomas Nast - 19^th-century political cartoonist who opposed slavery, railed against corrupt politicians... and really hated Irish people and Catholics
• The War of the Worlds - H.G. Wells novel with a radio adaptation that led to media hysteria.
• A category for hate crimes.

Essay

• How I see each President - Personal views on every President of the United States.

Political views

Social justice

• Sweeping racial justice.
  • Pro-affirmative action.
  • Pro-Black Lives Matter.
  • $100 billion reparations program for African-Americans, Native Americans and Hispanic/Latinx-Americans over the course of 10 years, with $10 billion being distributed per year.
  • Reintroduce school integration to finally end racial segregation in education.
  • Distribute uninhabited Federally owned land to Native American tribes.
  • Replace Columbus Day with Indigenous Peoples’ Day on the nationwide level.
• Gender equality.
  • Pass the Equal Rights Amendment.
  • Reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act.
  • Close the wage gap and ensure equal pay for equal work.
  • Protect and fully enforce Title IX.
  • Abolish gendered dress codes.
  • Designate gender neutral facilities.
  • Ban revenge porn nationwide.
• LGBT+ rights.
  • Protect marriage equality.
  • Allow LGBT+ adoption nationwide.
    • Recognize the adopted children of LGBT+ people as American citizens.
  • Allow transgender people to have their gender legally recognized on all official documents.
    • Push full legal recognition of nonbinary people and allow a “X” marker for gender in all official documents.
  • Full legal recognition of intersex people.
  • Nationwide ban on conversion therapy.
    • Close all conversion therapy clinics.
    • Prosecute the people who run conversion therapy clinics.
    • Pay reparations for victims and survivors of conversion therapy.
  • Nationwide ban on unconsented intersex cosmetic intervention.
  • Pass the Equality Act to have the entire LGBT+ community recognized as a protected class.
  • Pass the Employment Non-Discrimination Act.
  • Abolish gay panic and trans panic legal defenses for any crimes.
  • Cover all gender transition treatment (such as HRT, SRS, etc.) is free of charge and covered under Medicare for All.
  • End bathroom restrictions for trans people.
  • Ensure that trans inmates have unrestricted access to hormone replacement therapy and reassignment surgeries.
  • Reverse the ban on trans people serving in the military.
  • Sponsor the establishment of GSA chapters in all schools.
  • Ensure full Federal observance of Pride Month, the Day of Silence, International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia, and Transphobia, Transgender Day of Rememberance, International Nonbinary Day, Intersex Awareness Day, and National Coming Out Day.
• Disability rights.
  • Pass the Disability Integration Act.
  • Expand funding to Disability Resource Centers.
  • End welfare cuts to disabled people who marry or live with their partner.
  • Join the Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities.
• Pro-choice.
  • Codify the right to abortion in the Bill of Rights.
  • Ensure universally available and free-at-access abortion.
  • Repeal Hyde Amendment.
  • Repeal Helms Amendment.
  • Push mass investments into stem cell research.
  • Ban crisis pregnancy centers.
  • End the global gag rule.
• Ensure free, universal access to contraceptives.
• Ban corporal punishment of children.
• Immigration reform
  • Repeal Section 1325 and decriminalize undocumented border crossings.
  • Abolish Immigration and Customs Enforcement and Customs and Border Protection, and prosecute all staff who have abused human rights.
    • Pay reparations to everyone abused by ICE and CBP.
    • Dismantle all ICE and CBP detention centers.
  • Place a permanent moratorium on deportations.
  • Pass the DREAM Act.
  • Redistribute immigration processing duties to the Department of Labor.
  • Grant automatic citizenship to all undocumented immigrants currently residing in the United States.
  • Freedom of speech, right to privacy, trial by jury, habeas corpus and due process all apply to undocumented immigrants.
  • Eventually completely open the borders.
• Decriminalize full service sex work.
  • Repeal FOSTA-SESTA.

Civil liberties

• Freedom of speech.
• Lower the drinking age to 16.
• Legalize gambling.
• Legalize sex toys.

Drug policy

• Drug liberalization, end the War on Drugs.
• Decriminalize, legalize, tax and regulate all drugs.
• Repeal the Controlled Substances Act.
• Pardon all nonviolent drug offenders and give them work permits and/or rehabilitation, counseling, drug maintenance and other addiction services depending on their situation.
  • Pay reparations to nonviolent drug offenders.
• Abolish the DEA.
• Allow nonviolent drug offenders access to welfare and social programs.
• Engage in the mass construction of rehab and drug maintenance centers.
• Addiction is a health issue, not a legal issue.

Gun policy

• Against any prohibition of firearms.
  • Against assault weapons bans.
  • Repeal FOPA and NFA.
  • Abolish ATF.
• Supportive of both open carry and concealed carry.
• Keep minimum age of purchase at 18.
• Against bump stock bans and restrictions on magazine size.
• Enact extensive universal background checks.
• Close the gun show loophole.
• Pro-safety storage laws.
• Establish waiting periods.
  • One week for handguns, shotguns, arquebuses, blunderbusses, muskets, bolt-action rifles, lever action rifles and smaller magazines.
  • Two weeks for semi-automatic guns, telescopic sights and medium size magazines.
  • One month for automatic guns, bump stocks and larger magazines.
• Ban violent felons and domestic abusers from owning firearms.
• Arming teachers is a stupid idea.
• Fuck the NRA.

Criminal justice reform

Prison

• Abolish the death penalty.
• Abolish solitary confinement.
• Abolish cash bail.
• Abolish mandatory minimum sentences.
• Abolish forced and unpaid prison labor.
• Complete, unadulterated ban on any form of torture.
• Close Guantanamo Bay and all other offshore prisons.
  • Pay reparations to all past or present detainees.
• Close all extrajudicial prisons.
• Ban private prisons.
• Refurbish all other prisons.
• Rehabilitative justice for all low-level offenses.
• Eventually make a full transition towards universal restorative justice.
• Repeal all three-strike laws.
• End practice of banning certain books from prison.
• Allow prisoners to exercise freedom of religion and have access to religious texts.
• End practice of charging prisoners for basic amenities (including contact with loved ones).
• Pardon Mumia Abu-Jamal.

Police activity

• Abolish qualified immunity.
• Ban stop and frisk.
• Ban no-knock raids.
• Ban racial profiling.
• Ban civil asset forfeiture.
• Mandate police body cameras.
• Ban cops from unwarranted searching of phones and computers.
• Ban cops from unwarranted thermal imaging.
• Launch automatic investigations into all killings by police.
• Mandate de-escalation training for police officers.
• Completely demilitarize all police departments.
• Ensure all police departments have democratically elected civilian review boards to review complaints and fire officers if necessary.
• Eventually abolish the police force as a whole and replace all police departments with democratically elected community trust councils that can engage in community policing and social services.

Other

• Introduce a structured fine system, in which units of fine payments are measured based on the offender's daily personal income.
• Abolish non-unanimous jury convictions.
• Abolish grand juries.
• Ensure trial by jury in all family and divorce court cases.

Education

• Transition to a federal model for education funding in which all schools receive equal funding.
• Ensure tuition-free public college, graduate school and trade school through direct funding.
  • Cancel all student debt.
• Free universal preschool/pre-K through direct funding.
• Push for later starting times for schools.
• Ensure all schools have a nurse, a counselor, and a social worker.
• $30-per-hour wages for all teachers and professors.
• Pay substitute teachers with tax revenue instead of forcing teachers to pay out of pocket.
• End the current standardized testing system and create a new testing system.
• Increase funding for special education.
• End subsidies to private schools.
• Abolish school vouchers.
• Ban for-profit charter schools.
• Provide personal computers to all students.
• Transition to smaller classroom sizes.
• Pass the Student Non-Discrimination Act.
• Ban corporal punishment in schools nationwide.
• Ensure that these courses and topics are included in every school curriculum.

• • Evolution.
  • The Big bang.
  • Climate science.
  • Sustainable development.
  • Universal human rights.
  • Personal economics and microeconomics.
  • Macroeconomics.
  • Civics and government.
  • Comparative government.
  • Computers and typing.
  • Comprehensive sex education.

• Ensure free universal school meals all the way up to high school that students are entitled but not obligated to.
  • Cancel all student meal debt.
• Abolish zero tolerance policies.

Healthcare

• Establish National Improved Medicare for All, and eventually transition to an American equivalent of the United Kingdom’s National Health Service.
  • Ensure coverage of every single conceivable service.
  • Nationalize the pharmaceutical industry.
  • Cancel all current medical debt.
  • Remove all medical bill-caused bankruptcies.
• Eliminate the private insurance industry via having M4A cover every possible service.
• Increase Centers for Disease Control funding by 200%.
• Restore and increase funding for Planned Parenthood.
• Mandate vaccinations with only medical exemptions (allergies, autoimmune diseases, etc.)
• Ban non-medical circumcision.
• Legalize voluntary euthanasia for the terminally ill.
• Abolish the NCCIH.
• Crack down on the alternative medicine industry.
• Ban advertisement of prescription drugs.

Taxes

• Create a free public online tax filing and preparation system with maximum returns and an option for automatic tax filing.
• 80% average and 95% marginal income taxes on annual incomes exceeding $100,000,000.
• 70% average and 80% marginal income taxes on annual incomes exceeding $10,000,000.
• 60% average and 70% marginal income taxes on annual incomes exceeding $5,000,000.
• 40% average and 60% marginal income taxes on annual incomes exceeding $1,000,000.
• 30% average and 40% marginal income taxes on annual incomes exceeding $500,000.
• 20% average and 30% marginal income taxes on annual incomes exceeding $100,000.
• 15% average and 20% marginal income taxes on annual incomes exceeding $50,000.
• 10% average and 15% marginal income taxes on annual incomes exceeding $25,000.
• No income taxes on annual incomes under $25,000.
• Tax billionaires out of existence.
• Implement Bernie Sanders’ estate tax.
  • 45% estate tax between $3,500,000 and $10,000,000.
  • 50% estate tax between $10,000,000 and $50,000,000.
  • 55% estate tax between $50,000,000 to $1,000,000,000.
  • 77% estate tax between $1,000,000 and over.
• Implement Elizabeth Warren’s wealth tax.
  • 2% wealth tax on households with net worths of $50,000,000 and over.
  • 3% wealth tax on households with net worths of $1,000,000,000 and over.
• Eliminate the sales tax for basic necessities (such as food and clothes) and raise the sales tax on luxury items.
• Increase capital gains and corporate taxes.
  • Set maximum capital gains tax rate back to 40%.
  • Set maximum corporate tax rate back to 52%.
• Introduce an astroturfing tax.
• Remove tax exempt status from non-charitable religious institutions.
• Don’t tax lawsuit winnings.

Welfare

• Engage in mass wealth redistribution with the revenue from the tax rates.
• Expand Social Security.
• Restore and expand the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program.
• Expand the Earned Income Tax Credit.
• Establish free childcare that all families are entitled to but not obligated to.
• Implement a Baby Box program.
• Introduce a universal basic income to supplement current welfare.

Labor

• Supportive of workers co-ops and workplace democracy.
  • Require boards of companies making over $1,000,000,000 in revenue to set aside 50% of seats for workers and/or worker-elected representatives.
  • Require companies to allocate 50% of stocks to worker- and union-controlled funds.
  • Eventually transition to full worker ownership and democratic operation of the means of the production. Managers may be democratically elected.
• All workers of all industries should be able to unionize and I strongly recommend they do.
  • Lift all right-to-work legislation in the country.
  • Repeal the Taft-Hartley Act and reintroduce laws that protect the rights of workers to unionize, organize, strike and petition.
  • Federally ban businesses from union-busting.
  • Subsidize all union dues via direct deposit or mailing checks to union workers.
  • Expand employment benefits to striking workers.
  • Provide Federal aid to newly unionizing workers.
• Establish a Federal jobs guarantee.
• Enact a Federally mandated $15-per-hour minimum wage. Five years after this is established, push a $20-per-hour minimum wage, followed by a $25-per-hour minimum wage after ten years.
• Transition to a 30-hour work week.
• Tie executive pay with worker pay and bind the minimum wage with a maximum wage.
• Ban mandatory drug testing of employees.
• Ensure the right of workers to discuss their pay without punishment.
• End outsourcing, as it allows multinationals to more easily exploit people abroad while fueling unemployment within the United States.
• Establish nationwide indefinite paid sick and medical/healthcare leave, and indefinite injury leave.
• Establish nationwide one year paid family leave, split between the parents in multi-parent households and given entirely to the one parent in a single parent household.
• Increase paid annual leave to 4 weeks per year.
• Paid 1-hour lunch breaks for 8-hour shifts.
• Abolish E-Verify.
• Make job certification programs tuition-free.

Trade

• International trade deals must always have full respect and protection for human rights, worker’s rights and the environment.
• All text for trade deals should be completely open to the public to read.
• End Permanent Normal Trade Relations with China.
• Pull out the North American Free Trade Agreement, Dominican Republic–Central America Free Trade Agreement, and the World Trade Organization.
• Renegotiate all international trade, with workers being the negotiators.

Business

• In favor of trust-busting, especially in the banking, energy and tech industries.
• No subsidies, tax breaks or tax incentives for big businesses or conglomerates.
• Only establish Federal contracts with worker- or union-owned businesses.
• Ban clothes stores from destroying unsold clothes.
• Ban all businesses from spying on and collecting data on their customers or employees.

Financial

• Restore all Glass-Steagall legislation.
• Repeal the Commodity Future Modernization Act.
• Prosecute the Wall Street bankers responsible for the Great Recession.
• Ban stock buybacks.
• Ban naked credit defaults.
• Implement Bernie Sanders' and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez' plan to put the cap on credit card interest at 15%.
• Financial transactions tax of 0.1%.
• Cancel all credit card debt, and eventually all consumer loan debt.
• Reintroduce the postal banking system.
• Nationalize the Federal Reserve.
• Convert all other banks into community-owned mutual-credit banking systems.
• Establish a free public credit registry that would not charge fees for viewing credit scores, and would mandate lenders and companies to provide wholly accurate information.

Other economics

• Billionaires are a policy failure.
• Abolish the production of pennies.

Environment

• Enact the Green New Deal.
• Immediately enact a carbon tax of $250 per ton.
• Immediately eliminate all subsidies to fossil fuel companies.
• Nationalize the entire energy sector and the power grid into one single company, which will be known as the United States Green Valley Authority. This will be done to immediately initiate a transition to 100% renewable energy.
• Eventual full ban on fossil fuel extraction and use.
• Immediate bans on fracking, coal rolling, offshore drilling and oil pipeline construction.
• Mandate energy audits for all factories.
• Increase funding for the Environmental Protection Agency by 1000%.
• Ensure the publication of all climate science data without censorship.
• Prosecute fossil fuel executives for crimes against humanity and annex their assets.
• Build wind and solar farms across the deserts, the Great Basin, the Great Plains and the Midwest.
• Construct wave-energy-conversion power plants alongside levees, dams, waterways and canals.
• Launch a national greenhouse gas sequestration program and push mass investments into carbon capture technology.
• Create a national paid beach and ocean clean-up program.
• Create a national paid reforestation program.
• Restore all lands negatively impacted by climate change.
• Enact reparations for all communities negatively impacted by climate change fossil fuel use.
• Rejoin the Paris Agreement.
• Rejoin the Kyoto Protocol.
• Join the United Nations plastic waste agreement.
• Pro-nuclear energy, build several nuclear power plants.
• Mass investments into cultured meat.
• Ban poaching and trophy hunting.
• Amend the Humane Slaughter Act to cover birds.

Agriculture

• Pro-GMO.
• Eliminate industrial farm subsidies while increasing local farm subsidies.
• Cut corn subsidies.
• Lift all agricultural gag laws.

Infrastructure

• Introduce a $1.5 trillion infrastructure plan.
• Refurbish and modernize all levees, dams, waterways and canals.
• Repair all electrical infrastructure.
• Ban and dismantle all hostile architecture in public spaces.
• Nationalize water services.

Housing

• Housing is a human right that should be completely decommodified.
• Repeal the Faircloth Amendment and build 10 million units of publicly owned social housing over the course of a decade, 1 million houses per year.
  • Ensure that segregation and gentrification does not exist in public housing, and that all houses have the necessary required utilities.
  • Ensure that the houses are sustainable and eco-friendly.
• Amend the Fair Housing Act to apply to Native Americans, LGBT+ people, and Section 8 recipients.
• Introduce a rental income tax and a rent control law.
• Ban landlords from evicting tenants for joining tenant's associations and/or organizing rent strikes.
• Eventually abolish the concept of landlords, as tenants should be allowed to be actual homeowners.
• Mandate the cancellation of all mortgages.
• Annex all bank-owned foreclosed homes, unless one can prove both ownership and residence.
• Provide Federal rewards to communities that lift zoning restrictions on the construction of houses and apartments.
• Place a full ban on all residential investment properties and real estate speculation, and ban negative gearing.
• Decriminalize squatting.

Transportation

• Nationalize all major railroads into Amtrak, convert all other private railroads into decentralized community-owned rails.
• Create a renewable energy-run Interstate Railway System connecting all major cities in the United States within 500 miles of each other.
• Increase regional and interurban high speed electric rail by both constructing new rail systems and converting outdated commuter lanes.
• Make public transportation fare-free.
• Repair all worn out and/or damaged roads.
• Never create a new highway again.
• Create an Interstate Bikeway System of protected bike lanes.
• Accelerate the production of electric vehicles.

Telecommunications and internet

• Restore net neutrality and ratify a Constitutional amendment to protect it.
• Municipalize internet services.
  • Ensure high-speed internet in all public ISPs.
• Build nationwide fiber-optic internet cables.
• Repeal the Telecommunications Act.
• Repeal the Copyright Term Extension Act and the Digital Millennium Copyright Act.
• Ensure telecommunications companies cannot restrict the use of VPNs.
• Municipalize telecommunications.
• Ban social media companies from collecting and selling the data of their users.

Election reform

• Ensure that every single citizen has the unrestricted, unadulterated right to vote.
• Invalidate state and local laws discouraging and/or preventing vote recounts.
• Have elections be publicly financed and run by independent nonpartisan committees.
• Abolish the Electoral College and replace it with national popular vote.
• Establish a ranked choice voting system.
• Enact automatic voter registration.
• Designate Election Day as a Federal paid holiday.
• Allow in-person voting a week before Election Day.
• Lower the legal voting age to 16.
• Offer vote-by-mail option nationwide.
• End gerrymandering and have districts be drawn by independent nonpartisan committees.
• Restore the expunged provisions of the Voting Rights Act.
• Overturn Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission.

Government reform

• Incorporate the entire Bill of Rights to all the states.
• Limit Senators to two terms and Representatives to six terms.
• Limit all Federal judges to twelve years.
• Adopt the Wyoming Rule, in which the House's representative-to-population ratio to be equal nationwide, with the precedent set by Wyoming's at-large district.
  • Alternatively, repeal the Reapportionment Act 1929 and increase the number of districts in the House of Representatives, then have their representative-to-population ratio be equal.
• Implement open government, in which all government documents and proceedings are accessible to the public.
• Allow the five delegates and the resident commissioner to the House of Representatives to become full-fledged members.
• Offer statehood for Washington D.C., Puerto Rico, Guam, American Samoa, the U.S. Virgin Islands, the Northern Mariana Islands and every Native American reservation.
• Ban monetary lobbying, it is only legal bribery.
• Bring back the 60-vote rule for Supreme Court Justice confirmations.
• Abolish the nuclear option.
• Lifetime ban on Congress members, Federal judges, Presidents and Cabinet members from being lobbyists.
• Ban politicians from fundraising during working hours.
• Abolish the National Day of Prayer.
• Remove “under God” from the Pledge of Allegiance.
• Allow up to 10 national direct ballot initiatives every two years.

Military

• Restore the Department of Defense’s former name, the Department of War.
• Cut military spending by at least 60%.
• Pull out of every war.
• No regime changes or nation building.
• Prosecute all war criminals and send them to be tried in the Hague.
• Wars can only be declared by a national referendum, followed by a ⅔ vote in both chambers of Congress, with the exception of when the United States has been attacked.
• Nationalize the military weapons manufacturing industry.
  • End all arms deals with dictatorships and human rights abusers, and refrain from making one ever again.
• Cut all military aid and intelligence to dictatorships and human rights abusers.
• Close all military bases abroad.
• Bring every soldier stationed abroad back home.
• Double wages for military personnel.
• Increase Department of Veterans’ Affairs funding by 300%.
• Scrap the F-35 program.
• Focus military spending on infrastructure projects using the Army Corp of Engineers.
• Decrease the amount of nuclear weapons to 100.

Surveillance and security

• Abolish the NSA.
• Abolish and prosecute the CIA.
  • Release the unredacted Senate Intelligence Committee report on CIA torture programs.
• Abolish the TSA and the rest of the DHS (save for the Coast Guard, FEMA, and the Secret Service.)
• Abolish all government surveillance.
• Repeal the USA PATRIOT Act.
• Repeal FISA and abolish the FISC.
• Repeal the Espionage Act.
• Abolish the Insider Threat Program.
• Withdraw from the Five Eyes.
• Pardon all whistleblowers.
• Abolish the state secrets privilege.
• Ban facial recognition technology.

International relations

• Improve diplomatic relations with all countries Trump has alienated.
• Restore the Iran Deal.
• Restore the Cuban Thaw.
• Formally recognize the sovereignty of Palestine.
• In favor of a two-state solution for Israel and Palestine in which Israelis and Palestinians both have their respective and respected sovereignty, with borders reset to the 1948 UN partition.
  • Alternative, advocate for a one-state solutions in which Israels and Palestine live as equals within one country.
• Protect the rights of Americans to practice BDS.
• Formally recognize the sovereignty of Zapatista territory.
• Formally recognize the sovereignty of the Rojava communes.
• Formally recognize the sovereignty of Catalonia.
• Formally recognize the Armenian Genocide.
• Formally recognize Kashmir as a Indo-Pakistani buffer state.
• Taiwan, Hong Kong, Macau and Tibet should be allowed to remain independent from mainland China.
• Dismantle the IMF and the World Bank.
• Rejoin the United Nations Human Rights Council.
• Join the International Criminal Court.
• Repeal the 2002 American Service-Members’ Protection Act.
• Re-enter compulsory jurisdiction of the International Court of Justice.
• Join the International Covenant on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights.
• Join the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
• Expand the P5 of the United Nations Security Council to include all member states.
• Abolish all unilateral sanctions.
• United Kingdom should abolish the monarchy.
• Pro-Scottish independence.
• Pro-Irish reunification.
• Pro-Kosovo independence.
• I oppose the European Union’s Articles 11, 13 and 17.

Political test results

My Political Compass results

My Political Compass results are -8.25 on the economic scale and -8.56 on the social scale. Here is my certificate.

8values results

My 8values results are 74.4% equality on the economic axis, 67.6% world on the diplomatic axis, 81.5% liberty on the civil axis, and 85.7% progress on the societal axis.

PolitiScales results

My PolitiScales results can be found here.

The World's Smallest Political Quiz

My World's Smallest Political Quiz results are 100% on personal issues and 30% on economics issues, putting me in the "Left (Liberal)" category. However, I hate the Nolan Chart it uses, because I find the diamond's perspective to be dizzying.

Things I don't mind letting people know about

Favorite bands and musicians (in no particular order)

• Devin Townsend

"You arrreeee... a sun goddess... WHOA! WILL YOU SAAAAAAVVVVEEE MEEEE?!?!? BABE! BABE! BABE!"

• Strapping Young Lad
• Pantera

"AGONY IS THE PRICE THAT YOU'LL PAY IN THE END!"
"TO SEE, TO BLEED, CANNOT BE TAUGHT! IN TURN, YOU'RE MAKING US... EEERRRRUUHH FUCKING HOSTILE!!!"

• Slayer
• System of a Down

"ALL RESEARCH AND SUCCESSFUL DRUG POLICY SHOWS THAT TREATMENT SHOULD BE INCREASED, AND LAW ENFORCEMENT DECREASED WHILE ABOLISHING MANDATORY MINIMUM SENTENCES!"
"DON'T YOU! REALIZE! THAT EVIL! LIVES IN THE MOTHERFUCKING SKIN?!"

• Judas Priest

"PAIN, PAIN, KILLER, KILLER, PAIN, PAIN, KILLER, KILLAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

• Iron Maiden
• Black Sabbath
• Gojira

"BEAT YOUR FEET ON THE GROUND NOW, GO!" *breakdown*

• Mastodon

"TEAR RIGHT TO PIECES, LEFT TO RECESS A WATERY GRAVE!"

• Amorphis
• Converge
• Rage Against the Machine
• Neurosis
• The Dillinger Escape Plan
• Municipal Waste
• Daughters
• Ween

"But the mutants that I see shine their beauty onto me, I wish you could see them."

• Blue October
• Pearl Jam

"I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star in somebody else's sky. But why, why, why can't it be, oh, can't it be mine?"

• Queen

"I'M BURNING THROUGH THE SKYYY, YEAH! TWO HUNDRED DEGREES, THAT'S WHY THEY CALL ME MISTER FAHRENHEIT!! I'M TRAVELING AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT, I WANNA MAKE A SUPERSONIC MAN OUT OF YOU!"

• Aphex Twin
• Björk

"This state of... emergency... is where I want to be."

• Nine Inch Nails
• Deftones
• Incubus
• Faith No More

"SHIT LIVES FOREVER! SHIT LIVES FOREVER!"

• Red Hot Chili Peppers

Musical guilty pleasures

• The first three Smash Mouth albums (100% unironically, I swear...)
• Vanessa Carlton - "A Thousand Miles"
• Eiffel 65 - "I'm Blue" (This one is ironic.)
• Scatman John - "Scatman's World"
• Natalie Imbruglia - "Torn"
• Evanescence - "Bring Me to Life"

Personal heroes

• Martin Luther King
• Malcolm X
• Nelson Mandela
• Thomas Paine
• Hypatia of Alexandria
• Galileo Galilei
• Stephen Hawking
• Carl Sagan
• ContraPoints
• Shaun
• Kyle Kulinski
• Sam Seder
• Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
• Ilhan Omar
• Rashida Tlaib
• Ro Khanna
• Bernie Sanders
• Ruth Bader Ginsburg
• Franklin D. Roosevelt
• Abraham Lincoln
• John F. Kennedy
• Robert F. Kennedy
• Ted Kennedy
• Joycelyn Elders
• Mike Gravel
• Jezza
• Jean-Luc Mélenchon
• Lula da Silva
• Evo Morales
• Thomas Sankara
• The absolute boi Lee J. Carter
• Nina Turner
• Marie Newman
• McKayla Wilkes
• Joshua Collins
• Shahid Buttar
• Tiffany Cabán
• Chesa Boudin

Other gubbins

• I am a member of Justice Democrats.
• I went to the 2016 Lake Tahoe Summit that had Barack Obama, Dianne Feinstein, Barbara Boxer and Harry Reid as speakers.
• I have met Kyle Kulinski, Dave Rubin, David Frum, Michael Shermer and Charlie Kirk in real life.
• Sargon of Akkad hates me because I sent him a bunch of centrism memes to mock him on Twitter after he tried to pretend he was a centrist (again)
• I have never broken a bone in my life.
• Braindead is an underrated masterpiece and you can't change my mind.

Gallery of stuff

• 

  Meeting Kyledriver

• 

  Meeting Charles

• 

  Meeting the Rube

• 

  Meeting Shermer

• 

  Enlightened centrism

• 

  S P I C Y H O T T A K E

References

Notes