Fun:Upper-Class Twit of the Year

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“”Good afternoon and welcome to Hurlingham Park. You join us just as the competitors are running out onto the field on this lovely winter's afternoon here, with the going firm underfoot and very little sign of rain. Well it certainly looks as though we're in for a splendid afternoon's sport in this the 127th Upper-Class Twit of the Year Show. Well the competitors will be off in a moment so let me just identify for you:

Vivian Smith-Smythe-Smith has an O-level in chemo-hygiene. Simon-Zinc-Trumpet-Harris, married to a very attractive table lamp. Nigel Incubator-Jones, his best friend is a tree, and in his spare time he's a stockbroker. Gervaise Brook-Hampster is in the Guards, and his father uses him as a wastepaper basket. And finally Oliver St John-Mollusc, Harrow and the Guards, thought by many to be this year's outstanding twit. Now they're moving up to the starting line, there's a jolly good crowd here today. Now they're under starter's orders … and they're off!
—Monty Python[1]

1970[edit]

  • The Upper-Class Twit of the Year — Gervaise Brook-Hampster
  • Runner up — Vivian Smith-Smythe-Smith
  • Third — Nigel Incubator-Jones

1990[edit]

  • The Upper-Class Twit of the Year — Michael Milken, inventor of the junk bond. Sometimes winners take a long time to reach the finish line. In the case of Milken, after four years of denial of guilt in connection with crimes committed in connection with his invention, the junk bond, he finally pleaded guilty in 1990 to securities fraud and tax evasion.[2] The court ruled that his crimes were 'only' responsible for a $4 million or so loss to investors,[3] a paltry sum by upper-class twit standards. First winner of the Ig Nobel Prize in Economics, Milken's gift to the world, the junk bond, led to the The Savings & Loan Crisis of the 1980s, The Dot Com Crash of 2000-2002, and The Financial Crisis of 2007-2009.[4]
  • Runner up — Ivan Boesky, received a 3½ year sentence for the crime of insider trading, based on a plea deal for informing on Milken.[5]

2001[edit]

  • The Upper-Class Twit of the Year — Kenneth Lay, CEO and founder of Enron, destroyed a $100 billion company built on fraud — "the smartest guy in the room"[6]
  • Runner up — Jeffrey Skilling, COO and CEO of Enron — the second smartest guy in the room
  • Third — Andrew Fastow, CFO of Enron — the third smartest guy in the room

  • Lay's mugshot

  • Skilling's mugshot

2006[edit]

“”2006 Lexus going 87 mph in 45 mph road. Upon hearing sirens, the vehicle slowed and started running strange patterns on highway. I stopped vehicle and asked Mr. Gibson why he was doing "donuts" on the Pacific Coast Highway. Gibson advised that he would never do "donuts" because the "Jews control all donut production in the world." He further advised that "Munchkins were invented by greedy Jews who wanted to turn a profit even on the donut holes.
Mr. Gibson then failed the field sobriety test in all respects: recited alphabet in German rather than in English as requested; repeatedly gave the Zeig[sic] Heil salute when attempting to touch nose; could not walk a straight line. (In fairness to Mr. Gibson, he increased the difficulty of the task by insisting on walking in goose step fashion while wearing jackboots.)…
—July 29, 2006 police report from Malibu, California[8]
  • Runner up — Lou Pearlman set the record for the world's longest-running Ponzi scheme: 20 years long and $300 million in debts at the time of the crash.[9]

2008[edit]

  • The Upper-Class Twit of the Year — Robert Mugabe for his economic management in achieving the astounding inflation rate of 80,000,000,000% in Zimbabwe.[10]
  • Runner up — Bernie Madoff crashed the world's largest Ponzi scheme ($60+ billion).

  • Mugabe on a Zimbabwean $100,000,000,000,000 note from 2008

  • Madoff mugshot

2009[edit]

Oz mimicking inserting a syringe into his sister's head
“”When I was a kid… I'll tell you a quick story, I was fascinated by needles. I used to find my [physician] dad's needles in his desk. I would put in in oranges with the little holes on it, and one thing I noticed my sister's head had little pores in it too. And I still remember, I swear, watching her head from behind. I threw it [the needle] in there, and it didn't go in. The skull got in the way. I got no brain — I got nothing back.
—Oz on Jimmy Kimmel Show in 2009[11]:12:49am-12:50am[12]
  • The Upper-Class Twit of the Year — Mehmet Oz

2012[edit]

2020[edit]

Delo, pumping Bitcoin in 2018
  • The Upper-Class Twit of the Year — Ben Delo (1984–), charged with failing to implement anti-money laundering procedures in his crypto exchange BitMEX in 2020,[13] was sentenced to a 30-month suspended sentenced and given a $10 million fine in 2022.[14] Delo Giving Pledge of the "effective altruism" movement in 2019 — oopsie![15]

2021[edit]

  • The Upper-Class Twit of the Year — Marjorie Taylor Greene: weird conspiracy theory anti-semitism ("Jewish Space Lasers"[16])
  • Runners up — Three-way tie: Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk. Each individually shot themselves into outer space and came back to Earth for no other reason than big dickism.[17]

  • Greene trying to stop a space laser

  • Big dickism into space

  • Branson stroking the tip

2022[edit]

  • The Upper-Class Twit of the Year — Mary Elizabeth Truss: a Supply-side "mini"-budget that tanked the UK economy in days and will take years to repair.[18] Truss had been warned about dire consequences of the budget by economists[19] and by evidence that it would not work.[20] Britain should be thankful that it was not a "micro"-budget.
“”In The Madness of King George, there are several scenes where very learned doctors dedicate considerable time and effort to squinting at the contents of the king’s chamber pot. Watching the movie, you think, “Well, at least we are at a stage of civilization where we don’t have to do that! … But then Elon Musk buys Twitter, and — I can think of no better analogy for what has ensued.
—Alexandra Petri[21]
  • Runner up — Elon Reeve Musk: having servants open the door for him as he lugs a sink into Twitter HQ (thereby confusing the sink for a toilet), announcing that he will clean up Twitter by letting the neo-Nazis back in, thereby wasting the $44 billion he spent on the company.[22] Self-proclaimed "Chief Twit"[23]
"Look, I’ve had a bad month. This is not great."—SBF[24]
  • Third — Sam Bankman-Fried for crashing the FTX cryptocurrency exchange overnight, valued at $32 billion. SBF allegedly a financial genius at one time ("I didn’t know what was going on"[25]), also allegedly tanked the company by self-dealing and highly risky leveraged purchases,[26] creating what amounted to a Ponzi scheme.[27] SBF had previously signed the Giving Pledge of the "effective altruism" movement — oopsie![28]

Perennial candidates[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Perennial candidate

See also[edit]

References[edit]

  1. ↑ Upperclass Twit of the Year Another Bleedin' Monty Python Website
  2. ↑ Michael Milken's Guilt (April 26, 1990) The New York Times.
  3. ↑ Judge Who Gave Milken 10 Years Wants Him Eligible for Parole in 3 by Kurt Eichenwald (February 20, 1991) The New York Times.
  4. ↑ The History of High-Yield Bond Meltdowns by Daniel Jark (Updated September 26, 2022) Investopedia.
  5. ↑ Ivan Boesky by Alexandra Twin (August 27, 2022) Investopedia.
  6. ↑ The Smartest Guys in the Room: The Amazing Rise and Scandalous Fall of Enron by Bethany McLean and Peter Elkind (2003) Portfolio. ISBN 1591840082.
  7. ↑ Gibson's Anti-Semitic Tirade: Alleged Cover Up (7/28/2006 10:15 PM PT) TMZ.
  8. ↑ 8.0 8.1 Mel Gibson's Police Report by Wayne Gladstone Cracked (archived from October 21, 2007).
  9. ↑ See the Wikipedia article on Lou Pearlman.
  10. ↑ How Zimbabwe's economy has collapsed under Mugabe. Sky News.
  11. ↑ Jimmy Kimmel Live (October 28, 2009, 12:05 am-1:05am EDT) ABC via Internet Archived.
  12. ↑ Old clip from 2009 resurfaces of Dr. Oz telling Jimmy Kimmel that he tried to stick a needle in his sister’s head when they were kids (17/10/2022 a las 03:44am) Business Insider International.
  13. ↑ U.S. charges BitMEX cryptocurrency founders with failing to prevent money laundering by Jonathan Stempel (October 1, 20207:03 PM) Reuters.
  14. ↑ BitMEX Co-Founder Delo Gets 30 Months Probation, Avoids Jail Time: BitMEX co-founder Ben Delo will carry out his sentence of 30 months of probation without being confined at home by Sebastian Sinclair (June 15, 2022 06:18 pm) Blockworks.
  15. ↑ Pledge Letter by Ben Delo (15 April 2019) The Giving Pledge.
  16. ↑ Marjorie Taylor Greene’s space laser and the age-old problem of blaming the Jews by Zack Beauchamp (Jan 30, 2021, 8:30am EST) Vox.
  17. ↑ 2021: The year of space tourism Jackie Wattles (Updated 4:25 PM EST, Mon January 3, 2022) CNN.
  18. ↑ The last few weeks have damaged the UK and the reputation of the Conservative party by Gavin Barwell (2 Oct 2022 01.00 EDT) The Guardian.
  19. ↑ Liz Truss ignored economists’ stark warnings over mini-budget by Larry Elliott (21 Oct 2022 01.00 EDT) The Guardian.
  20. ↑ Liz Truss: a brief guide to her economic ideas and what the evidence says about them by Simon Lee (05 October 2022) University of Hull.
  21. ↑ Not another column about Elon Musk by Alexandra Petri (December 17, 2022 at 8:35 a.m. EST) The Washington Post.
  22. ↑ Elon Musk fired top Twitter execs including CEO, reports say by Amanda Silberling (6:09 PM PDT•October 27, 2022) Tech Crunch.
  23. ↑ Elon Musk Twitter (archived from October 28, 2022).
  24. ↑ FTX founder Sam Bankman-Fried says he ‘screwed up’ but didn’t commit fraud: Disgraced CEO said he ‘didn’t knowingly comingle funds’ with FTX’s sister company Alameda Research by Edward Helmore (30 Nov 2022 19.32) The Guardian.
  25. ↑ Sam Bankman-Fried, former CEO of FTX, says ‘we messed up big’ by Steven Zeitchik (November 30, 2022) The Washington Post.
  26. ↑ These Skeptics Saw ‘Scam Bankman-Fraud’ Coming by Kevin T. Dugan (Nov. 17, 2022) New York Magazine.
  27. ↑ Fraud, cons and Ponzi schemes: did Sam Bankman-Fried use Madoff tactics? The fallen crypto mogul is fighting off accusations he followed a similar playbook to Madoff – and deceived investors in the process by Edward Helmore (17 Dec 2022 02.00 EST) The Guardian.
  28. ↑ Pledge Signatories: 2022 Giving Pledge.
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