Elon Musk

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Elon Musk in 2015.

Elon Reeve Musk (1971–) is the Emperor of Mars[1] a businessman, and unhinged engineer. Musk is notable for massively promoting several firms that have pushed cutting edge innovation forward in the fields of green technology, cars in space, artificial intelligence, rapid mass transit, and space travel and several charities including the Tesla Museum. He is considered by some as one of the worlds biggest influencers and a major player in alternative-energy technology and future space-flight. And no, he cannot always control his Titan ego. Musk is notable for his somewhat unclear political beliefs and for alleged labor abuses and anti-union practices at his manufacturing companies. Recently Elon has gone cuckoo-stupid while playing corporate finance games, making confusing or caustic tweets and most disturbingly has made multiple baseless accusations of pedophilia against a hero who helped save children.

Business ventures[edit]

  • Zip2: started in 1995, a company that produced city guides for newspapers.
  • PayPal: started in 2000 after Musk's X.com corporation merged with Confinity, the merged company developed an electronic payment service.
  • SpaceX: started in 2002, a company that researches, develops, and manufactures spacecraft and (reusable) launch rockets, including to put a car in solar orbit. Alongside Boeing, SpaceX enables NASA to send American astronauts into space on American rockets from American soil for the first time since the final Space Shuttle mission in 2011.[2]
  • Tesla Motors: started in 2003, a company that designs and manufactures semi-automated electric cars.
  • SolarCity: started in 2006, a company that manufactures and installs rooftop solar panels.
  • Hyperloop, announced in 2013, an as-yet-unfeasible rapid transit method that is basically a maglev train inside a vacuum tube.
  • OpenAI: started in 2015, a nonprofit intended to generate a general artificial intelligence (and avoid Roko's Basilisk).
  • Neuralink: started in 2016, a company intended to produce software and devices that can interface with the human brain.
  • The Boring Company: started in 2016, a company intended to reduce the cost of boring tunnels. This could come in handy if the Hyperloop succeeds. In 2018, it was awarded a contract to provide an express train service from the O'Hare International Airport to downtown Chicago, scheduled to open in 2021.[3][note 1] By September of the same year, however, nothing has been done, and the future of the project remains in doubt.[4][note 2]
  • Thud: started in 2018, a company intended to produce comedic/satirical articles similar to The Onion, which Musk had attempted to purchase after it wrote satirical articles about him.
  • pravduh.com: started in 2018, a website intended to let people vote on the reliability of media sources, created after Musk received much negative media coverage in the same year. Not to be confused with Pravda.ru.

Elon's very bad, horrible, no good Tweets[edit]

Elon Musk in 2012.[5] Hot.

Despite being a rock star of scientific progress and innovation, a busy professional with a million things to do and a good understanding of the essential importance of good communication, Elon still finds time once in a while to tweet stupid shit.


By the way, I am actually a socialist. Just not the kind that shifts resources from most productive to least productive, pretending to do good, while actually causing harm. True socialism seeks greatest good for all.
—Elon Musk, bravely taking the controversial view that he likes good things, not his plate overflowing with things to manage and support bad things[6]

Taylor Harris: What would you proclaim yourself as? Anything specifically?[7]

Musk: A socialist[8]

Musk: Marx was a capitalist. He even wrote a book about it.[9]

Musk makes the common mistake of mixing up marxist socialism with modern welfare socialism. While he may be somewhat right in his interpretation of marxist socialism as "the greatest good for all", modern welfare socialism concerns itself with reducing poverty and misery and funding a large range of basic social services. In either case he describes socialism in a way that makes no sense in neither marxist socialism nor modern welfare socialism "the kind that shifts resources from most productive to least productive, pretending to do good, while actually causing harm". This is a gross misrepresentation of marxist socialism and doesn't remotely resemble modern welfare socialism.


See the main article on this topic: Trade union

Musk: If you must know, I am a utopian anarchist of the kind best described by Iain BanksWikipedia's W.svg [a leftist writer][10]

Cory Doctorow: Iain Banks was an ardent trade unionist, @Elonmusk[11]

Musk: Iain certainly wasn’t pro-union in the Culture books. At all. And wouldn’t be in the case of Tesla. Banks was about freedom through & through. Maybe for a single buyer (monopsony) vs single seller (monopoly), I would be too, but that’s a special case.[12]

Doctorow: Banks consistently endorsed the freedom of workers to form collective bargaining units. The existence of a thought experiments in which this was obviated by eg FTL [faster-than light travel] is by no means an indication that a marginal improvement in EV tech would have turned him into a strikebreaker[13]

Musk: I endorse freedom to form a union too, as well as freedom not to do so if they feel Tesla is a good company. UAW has major conflicts of interest & failed our car plant already when they abandoned us in 2010. Tesla can only hire 5% of applicants, so must be doing something right.[14]

David Slack: Unions don’t exist only at “bad” companies, Mr. Musk. They exist to provide workers with a voice to negotiate with management, insuring that conditions do not become intolerable or unsafe, that good companies do not become bad ones. Good companies should welcome unions.[15]

Musk: You think all companies are bad and all unions good? That’s a very bigoted position.[16]

According to Musk an over-generalization that no one ever said about labor practices...is synonymous with offensive commentary on people such as African Americans or the LGBTQ+ community.


Wore Marquis de SadeWikipedia's W.svg outfit for a party last night. Was v popular with women who'd read 50 Shades :)[5]

Musk is comparing a badly written book about a woman under the pressure of a sexual manipulator (50 shades) and Marquis de Sade who wrote books that tried to normalize rape, pedophilia and incest. For some ill advised reason he compared a party costume with those books.

Pedo-finder general[edit]

He also accused a heroic cave diver involved in the Tham Luang cave rescueWikipedia's W.svg of having a sexual preference for young boys, calling him "pedo guy", but later deleting the tweet.[17]

Just as shocking it is to find out the Queen of England flatulates, so it goes for a futuristic-science-god-figure who pulls nasty twitter-tantrums towards praiseworthy people and makes creepy or incomprehensible interview answers.

Boring boneheads[edit]

After his flagship company Tesla posted a massive loss it could be imagined that analysts would want to know why. Musk was busy telling everyone that things were fine when he said:

"Boring bonehead questions are not cool. Next," ... "We're going to go to YouTube. Sorry, these questions are so dry. They're killing me."[18]

This briefly bummed out the investors and Tesla stock dropped 5% (about $3 billion).[19]


Musk was very critical of Donald Trump until Trump became President. Musk then changed his mind and joined Trump initiatives including a council of business advisors and a project to promote manufacturing in the US.[20][note 3] Musk's attacks on the media's lies seemed in accord with Trump's complaints about fake news and were supported by the President's son Donald Trump Jr.[21] He also supported Trump's campaign to shift global tariffs on car imports and exports to be more favorable to American car exports.[22]

Batshit crazy[edit]

A mix of overwork, substance abuse, fame gone to his head, gross insecurity and his latent douchery has cracked his head. In recent months he has released misguided, possibly illegal as well as frightening tweets. They include suggestions that Telsa would go private (without detailing sources of funds) and then backtracking the claim. Prosecutors have opened an investigation on possible financial fraud (as the shares in the company went up sharply after the announcement. His other tweets range from self aggrandizement to semi-misogynistic comments and worse. He admitted a reliance on stimulants and depressants to fulfill his work load and a few hours of shut eye. Two high level members of Tesla resigned after Elon openly smoked pot on a pod-cast with Joe Rogan. Musk suggested we live in a kind of real life Matrix, which in itself is not outlandish, but his reasoning is humerously reminiscent of the logic used in Roko's basilisk:

"If you assume any rate of improvement at all, then games will be indistinguishable from reality, or civilization will end. One of those two things will occur," Musk said. "Therefore, we are most likely in a simulation, because we exist." —Elon Musk

Pedophilia accusations[edit]

Elon's most ghastly batshit-insanity is the accusation of a child-rescuing hero of being a pedophile. While several young soccer players were stuck in a cave, Musk flew to Thailand and tried to offer help however he could.[23] It has been suggested that his mission to help out was nothing but a PR stunt, regardless is seemed his help was rather useless and possibly it was nothing but Titan Elon getting in the way.[24] A semi-professional spelunker, Vern Unsworth helped bring the trapped children to safety.[25] He was critical of some of Elon's efforts to help including criticism of the feasibility of Elon's proposed amazing-cave-submarine-child-rescue-awesome-mobile.[26] Vern risked his life to reach the boys, comfort the scared children and rescue them.[27] As thanks for this he was accused of being a pedophile by Musk.[28] Elon's petty hissy-fit in the form of a vague accusation of pedophilia didn't go away even after Elon deleted the tweet and gave a half-hearted retraction.[29] A week later Elon sprayed a full out pedophile on social media...twice.[30][31] Vern will likely sue Musk's Titan ass for his baseless defamations.[32]

See also[edit]


  1. At present, the Chicago Transit Authority's Blue Line connects O'Hare to downtown. Each train can carry upwards of 600 people and travel at a maximum speed of 50 mph. Musk's express service trains can only carry up to 16 passengers but can reach up to 150 mph. Furthermore, it takes around 45 minutes on the Blue but only 12 on the Express Line.
  2. There is, however, an alternative proposal that requires only mature technologies, namely the Chicago Crossrail.
  3. This is one of the few times when Trump is right. Promoting manufacturing in the U.S. instead of outsourcing American jobs puts America first.


  1. Emperor Elon Musk? SpaceX founder clarifies if he’ll lead humans on Mars
  2. NASA Names Astronauts For First Commercial Flights. BBC. August 3, 2018.
  3. The Latest: Musk Says O’Hare Express Line Could Open in 2021. Associated Press. June 14, 2018.
  4. Rahm Emanuel wanted to expand O’Hare airport and partner with Elon Musk on high-speed rail. Now what? Chicago Tribune. September 4, 2018.
  5. 5.0 5.1 Elon Musk on Twitter [a w]
  6. Twitter [a w]
  7. Twitter [a w]
  8. Twitter [a w]
  9. Twitter [a w]
  10. Elon Musk on Twitter [a w]
  11. Elon Musk on Twitter [a w]
  12. Elon Musk on Twitter [a w]
  13. Elon Musk on Twitter [a w]
  14. Elon Musk on Twitter [a w]
  15. Elon Musk on Twitter [a w]
  16. Elon Musk on Twitter [a w]
  17. British cave diver considering legal action after 'pedo' attack by Elon Musk, The Guardian, 16 July 2018
  18. Elon Musk: No 'bonehead' analyst questions please
  19. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/03/business/tesla-elon-musk.html
  20. Here's why Elon Musk is changing his tune on Trump. Business Insider. January 29, 2017.
  21. Elon Musk melts down, blames scumbag tesla critics for electing trump, Vanity Fair, May 23, 2018
  22. Elon Musk's and Donald Trump's Twitter Tariff Tiff, Wired, March 12, 2018
  23. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/07/world/asia/elon-musk-thai-cave-rescue.html
  24. https://www.vox.com/2018/7/18/17576302/elon-musk-thai-cave-rescue-submarine
  25. https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/6792661/who-vernon-unsworth-thai-cave-rescue-pedo-guy-elon-musk-sue/
  26. https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2018/jul/15/elon-musk-british-diver-thai-cave-rescue-pedo-twitter
  27. https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/exclusive-interview-with-thai-cave-rescue-hero-vernon-unsworth-if-the-brits-hadn-t-been-called-in-it-would-have-been-too-late-qhdpbw8bm
  28. http://www.latimes.com/business/autos/la-fi-hy-musk-pedophile-twitter-fight-20180715-story.html
  29. http://fortune.com/2018/07/18/elon-musk-pedo-apology/
  30. https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2018/jul/15/elon-musk-british-diver-thai-cave-rescue-pedo-twitter
  31. https://www.cnbc.com/2018/09/05/tesla-ceo-elon-musk-calls-british-cave-diver-child-rapist.html
  32. https://www.cochranetimespost.ca/news/world/diver-to-sue-billionaire-elon-musk-over-child-sex-slur/wcm/b6ff56fd-ea0f-47b1-be5f-02093ddc3dec