Fun:Political clowns

Since many clown names are of the form "-o-o" (Bobo, Bozo, Coco, GoGo, Jojo, Koko, Loko, Yobo, Yoyo),^[1] it is fitting that some political clowns also have that form.

Bozo, the quintessentially named
Pennywise, the mascot of political clowns

Coulrophobia is the word for having a fear of clowns. For political clowns, there is especially good reason to fear them. A first-of-its-kind study of coulrophobia surveyed 987 people found that 53.5% were scared of clowns to some degree. Five percent of respondents reported being "extremely afraid" of clowns, slightly higher that for other phobias. The strongest factor associated with coulrophobia was "An eerie or unsettling feeling due to clowns' makeup making them look not-quite-human." This factor would seem akin to the hypothesized "uncanny valley" effect.^[2]^[3]^[4]^[5]

Gallery of political clowns[edit]

BoBo: David Brooks: he literally wrote the book on Bobos.^[6]
The Boze: L. Brent Bozell III, an angry, hateful clown
Bojo (Boris Johnson) — famous for his high wire act,^[7] his naturally-clownish hair, for putting a Russian citizen on the British House of Lords,^[8] and for having his cake and eating it too^[9]
Elmo: Elon Musk wants to be known as the good Elmo, not the evil Elmo^[10] despite selling flamethrowers during wildfire season,^[11] numerous Tesla flambés,^[12] and 2 SpaceX unscheduled rapid disassemblies (success!)^[13]^[14]
GroNo (Grover Norquist) — would like to drown government in his bathtub^[15]
JoBo (John Boehner) — an orange person of color^[16] (spawn of Bozo)
JoGo (Jonah Goldberg)^[17] — the doughy pantload of clown punditry^[18]
JoHo (Senator Josh Hawley,^{[note 1]} Missouri) — Gave a fist pump to January 6 insurrectionists, then denied that he was pro-riot as his campaign profited from the image^[19]
JoRo (Joe Rogan) — comes with bald wig, likes to pull stupid health ideas out of his orifice
JoSto (John Stossel) — supports the legalization of blackmail^[20]
LoBo (Lauren Boebert)^[21] — nuts for guns, but not the toy variety used by clowns, a believer in more impossible things than sane people can imagine^[22]
LoDo (Lou Dobbs) — hates immigrants, that's why he hired them^[23]
LoGo (Louie Gohmert) — does not need a bald wig, "the dumbest guy in Congress"^[24]
MoBro (Mo Brooks)^[25] — thinks that throwing rocks in the sea will raise the sea level, and that Antarctic ice is increasing,^[26] also an insurrection supporter^[27]
MoDo (Maureen Dowd) — New York Times^[28] political scribbler, fawned over Trump in 2016^[29] and could not quit him^[30]
MoFo (Tina Descovich) — co-founder of Moms for Liberty
PoGo (Paul Gosar) — gave up a promising career in dentistry to promote quack dentistry,^[31] occupies a Congressional seat without any committee assignments due to threatening the life of a colleague.^[32]
RoDo (Ross Douthat, a.k.a. 'Douchethat'^[33]) — has supported the criminalizing of homosexuality,^[34] but think women need to service incels^[33]
RoJo (Ron Johnson)^[35] — US Senator from Joseph McCarthy's state, noted for being "uninformed, irresponsible, and dangerous"^[36]
RoMo (Roy Moore) — Christian fundamentalist banned from the YMCA^[37]
RoPo (Ron Paul) — Doctor quack, he loves only gold.
RoSto (Roger Stone) — admitted ratfucker^[38] (ew!), Dindu Nuffin wrong but wanted a Presidential pardon anyway^[39]
ToCo (Tom Cotton, Senator from ~~the slave state of~~ Arkansas) — opposes the factual teaching about racism and the history of slavery — because it might tarnish his ancestors' memory.^[40]^[41]
One car to rule them all,
One car to find them,
One car to bring them all
And in the darkness bind them.