“”mindless drones: i will wipe my ass... i will wipe my ass...
really brave and handsome guy: no!! i will NOT wipe my ass
|Some dare call it|
|What THEY don't want|
you to know!
|We control what|
you think with
|Said and done|
|Jargon, buzzwords, slogans|
"WAKE UP" (almost always in all-caps) is a common emotional appeal and ad hominem phrase used by hardcore anti-vaxxers, anti-GMO proponents, white supremacists, and other whack-jobs, although the phrase is almost universally associated with conspiracy theorists. The phrase was popular among radical left-wing activists in the 1980s and 1990s (see the Rage Against the Machine song of the same name), but was adopted by other groups who felt their worldviews were being ignored by society. Its usage is usually an indicator that you've wandered into the nuttier tin-foil hat section of the Internet.
Typically, the phrase will be at the beginning or end of a rant, and will be followed by whomever the rant is being directed at. Here are three examples:
- "WAKE UP, AMERICA!!!!!"
- "WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!!!!!!!!!"
- "CHEMTRAILS, GMOS, and a MILLION other ways the JEWminatti are trying to KILL us, but nevermind stay ignorant you've already chosen your fate WAKE UP!!!!!"
And sometimes, when the subject fails to win a convert, their wake-up ad hominem can be followed by yet another ad mominem, as such: "KEEP LIVING IN YOUR FANTASY WORLD!! The REST of us are happy to have WOKEN UP without you!! Enjoy being a fucking SHEEPLE!!"
Where to expect this phrase
“”WAKE UP, OUR MEDIA IS PERPETUAL PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE. SEPTEMBER 11 WAS YOUR ALARM BELL TRYING TO WAKE YOU UP, BUT YOU HIT SNOOZE!
|—Zachary K. Hubbard|
Any comments section with conflicting views concerning stories that deal with conspiracy theories or woo will have at least one example of this. YouTube and Yahoo! News are gold mines for this; in fact, it's basically a mathematical certainty you'll see this. This fallacy can also be found on conspiracy theory webshites, especially blog sites, and EXTRA-especially the ones that happen to have comment sections (assuming the moderator doesn't delete the bad ones).
Typically, the sentences themselves with "WAKE UP" will also feature guilt-tripping, painful rambling, paragraph-long run-on sentences (often with zero commas), LOTS OF CAPS LOCK FOR EMPHASIS, and will contain "logic" that can best be described as not even wrong. The law of exclamation seems to coincide nicely with the phrase, as there is almost always a gratuitous amount of exclamation marks at the end of the sentence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111ONEONEONEONEONE These rants often stem from the horror that the majority of people don't subscribe to paranoid, divorced-from-reality theories about society and need to be told to awaken from their slumbers.
In tinfoil hat personal ads (yes, there are such things) and the like, the writers will sometimes say how long they've been "awake." Although it is amusing to do so, it probably isn't terribly productive to suggest that they have been literally awake that long, no matter how stained their coffee mug is in their YouTube ramblings. Besides all that, it's actually a pretty apt term. Consider, notwithstanding the effects on mortality, what the reasoning capacity for an individual remaining conscious for that long would actually resemble, and compare that to their arguments.
Not only can this phrase or variants be found in the sewers of the Internet but also among political pundits (both left and right) whose style of argumentation relies more on demonizing the opposition as "sheeple"/blind/ignorant masses/insert-your-variation-here than making a coherent argument.
- "Wake Up Black America" blog (the title is written in all caps), in which the author writes in his bio box: "I'm a staunch free thinking,[note 1] analytical conservative. I don't subscribe to
treating people with respectpolitical correctness. Only sheep do that."
- DrinkingWithBob, whose anti-Obama/libertarian rants often end with "WAKE UP!" For example, in his video "You've been Punk'd" Bob ends, "Would you people WAKE UP! Would you WAKE UP!! If you voted for Barack Obama. You've been punked stupid! You've been punked!!"
- Alex Jones, no further comment needed.
- David Icke yells "Wake Up America" during a kook segment on Barack Obama
- James Manning says "People need to wake the hell up!" while ranting incoherently about his claim that pop star Justin Bieber cut off his penis
What to do if you encounter someone using this phrase
Offer them tinfoil While this phrase almost always indicates the user is too far off the deep end to even attempt to bring back to reality; it is not an impossible matter, for most of the "WAKE UP" drones, anyway. Start engaging in a conversation with as much logic and proof data contradicting the specimen as much as possible. Continuing to engage in a conversation will most likely result in a million ad hominem attacks, or 'logic' so brain-meltingly horrifying that it may make you lose faith in humanity. But, DO NOT GIVE UP! Remember in your mind the fact that all are born with an empty memory which is later filled with truth and "bullshit disguised as truth." Thus, while in the mind of the "WAKE UP" messenger, any attempts to reason merely confirm the existence of brain-dead, conforming sheeple, it also chips away at their faith. So, keep going if you got nothing better to do.
- Green ink
- Do your own research
- Useful idiot
- False consciousness
- You're asleep, Anonymous user, wake up
- Not even wrong
- You mean this free-thinking?
- xkcd nails it
- David Icke Puppet Obama Wake Up America!!. Archived from YouTube, 2014.
- Don't Let Your Son Cut Off His Penis. Archived from ATLAHWorldwide on YouTube, 2015.