Fun:Left wing bastards
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
File:Portrait of Chairman Mao Zedong 2018-2019.png
Mankind's Greatest
(mass murderer)
(mass murderer)
Left wing bastards are a breed of people that arose in the nineteenth century, and had their greatest influence in the first half of the twentieth century. Their lineage can be traced back to the Robin Hood myth, if not further. The mantra of the classic LWB is "Fuck you Jack, I'm giving your stuff to someone else and taking 20% for the effort".
Class members[edit]
Biblical characters[edit]
- Jesus Christ, who recommended that people give up their property to the poor, and turn the other cheek when smitten (by bunnies
). - Jim Jones — drinking the
Kool-AidFlavor Aid. Bastard.
National leaders[edit]
- Vladimir Lenin — spearheaded the Russian Revolution and then had a stroke, resulting in a madman taking charge. Bastard.
- Josef Stalin — leadership of the USSR resulted in the death of around 20 million people. Bastard.
- Mao Zedong — leadership of the People's Republic of China resulted in the death of between 40-70 million people. Über-Bastard.
- Fidel Castro — smoked cigars his entire life, yet didn't die of lung cancer. Bastard.
- Pol Pot — killed over a fifth of his population and then fled the country after starting a war he had no possibility of winning. Bastard.
- Jacques Chirac[1] — Won't enter an illegal war with the USA, will you?! Bastard.
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt — dragged the USA through a horrible depression, and into World War Two. Instituted hated socialist policies. Bastard.
- Joseph R. Biden — longtime leftist collaborator, he founded Anarcho-Bidenism, brought America into the Paris Commune, and led a campaign to insert microchips into Americans. The "R." in his name is short for "Red bastard".
- All Scandinavian Leaders. Bastards, the lot of them.
- Kim Jong Il — the second boss in the only communist monarchy that has ever existed. Let millions of people die. Regarded by his countrymen as a demi-god. To him, human rights were a sin. Bastard. His son is no better.
- Muammar al-Gaddafi — A kleptocratic tyrant who supported international terrorism and threatened to level an entire city of 600,000 people when it rose up against his dictatorship. Wrote a "green book" about reconciling Islam with both capitalism and socialism… Or something. Bastard.
Various monarchs[edit]
- George III of England/Britain/UK. For taxing free British subjects in Vespucciland and instituting martial law to put down those damn rowdy colonists. Bastard.
Entertainers[edit]
- Jon Daily (It's possible that whoever wrote "Jon Daily" was referring to this guy.)
- Stephen Colbert — right-wing but still an LWB. Bastard.
- Al Franken[2]
- George Clooney
- Michael Moore
- Sean Penn
- The Young Turks
Novelists and other scribblers[edit]
- Karl Marx
- Charles Dickens
- Upton Sinclair
- Sinclair Lewis
- D. H. Lawrence
- George Orwell
- Mark Twain
Modern "magnates" and press barons[edit]
Trashionalwikians (sic)[edit]
- Human
- Nobody important
- Boring person
- Her Sociality
- Da Goddamn Moonbat
- Dalek
- Thunderstruck
- That guy that lives in Spain
- That cheese-eating surrender pinko monkey
- That spongeball-vanishing agent of Satan
- That job stealing, pinko commie atheist, smelly Mexkin.
- That Undead Schizophrenic
- That Scots-Irish scumbag. Bastard.
- That guy who changed his username because nobody could pronounce his old one. вαѕтαя∂.
- Humble servant of our Soviet overlords
- That asshole rich kid pretending to be a red.
- Some guy who masturbates whenever he sees John Lennon's face.Do You Believe That?
- That autistic fox-fucking furry.
- He Who Seeks The Absolute Obliteration of
the Republican PartyEvery Right-Wing Political Party - The BoNs
Mixed breeds[edit]
There are also people of a apparent dual nature who display complex behaviour, sometimes displaying all the attribute of an LWB but having property-respecting facets. It might be thought that this is intended to create a good public image and thereby deflect criticism thus increasing politically correct respect, but this is obviously not true. Is it... ?
- Bill Gates
- Publishers of various communist papers such as the New York Times and The Nation.