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Racial Holy War

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Racial Holy War is a role-playing game brainchild of Rev. Kenneth Molyneaux, member of a white supremacist cult (the Church of the Creator). It is a low-quality game that could barely be described as an RPG. It is basically the pen-and-paper equivalent of the Ethnic Cleansing video game.

The setting[edit]

The "game" is extremely bare-bones (don't expect at all the grade of detail of Forgotten Realms) and assumes that, in a not-very-distant future, the world is about to collapse because the evil Jewish Illuminati have made whites a downtrodden minority — and, of course, through minorities pumping out babies, whites have been largely replaced. Everything appears to be lost for the victimised master race except for a group of so-called "White Warriors" who will "cleanse the world of all the vermin" and "bring about a glorious White Empire." Suggested missions include assassinating celebrities or busting drug cartels.

The enemies, each with a special ability and named with a racial slur intended to provoke include:[1]

  • Niggers: Are described as "smelly and stupid creatures" that will reduce your accuracy thanks to their body odor. Even though White supremacists aren't typically noted for their impeccable body hygiene.
  • Latrinos, described as "lazy and criminal vermin" with the ability to strike first, which seems odd since they are supposedly lazy. Shouldn't they attack last?
  • Sand Niggers, "scumbags" that have "declared the White Race as one of their many enemies in their 'Jihad' or holy war" and who will attempt to blow themselves up killing others in the process. Apparently, the authors forgot what the title of their RPG is.
  • Gooks, who are "timid, annoying, slanty-eyed dirtbags who desperately wish they were White", which can gain extra attacks in hand-to-hand combat from watching "fake" martial arts movies, making them actually sound badass.
  • Kikes, "the worst and most evil parasites that the world has ever seen", who can bribe the PCs with "Jewgold" to skip their turn thanks to the power of "brain pollution". In fact, it seems that the White warriors are pretty weak without their magic and look like hypocrites easily swayed by the promise of cash, particularly since the player doesn't actually receive the bribe money upon defeating them.

As noted, the author can't even get their propaganda right and (one must assume) unintentionally made the White race the weakest of all. Asians get extra melee attacks, Blacks get powerful status effects, Latinos always get to attack first, and Jews get to force the player to skip their turn with no save. They unintentionally channeled Umberto Eco's Ur-Fascism, when the enemies are simultaneously depicted as pushovers and existential threats.

The rules[edit]

The premise and mechanics of the game are intentionally repulsive. Abilities include "Clothesmaking" (such as making swastika shirts) and Holy Books of Creativity (the "White Man's Bible" and which oddly enough can heal the White Warriors by "soothing and inspiring" them). Weapons are limited to a handgun, a shotgun, and an assault rifle.[1] How one calculates the player's ability to use these weapons is never explained, meaning the fearless White Warrior doesn't really know what they are doing (and more importantly, engaging in basic combat is literally impossible). There are a number of broken mechanics, including the ill-conceived mechanics, such as the infamous "Intimidation" mechanic, where the so-called fearless and heavily-armed White Warriors could be intimidated by a sufficiently large amount of children.

The game is designed to offend and spread white supremacy. It is likely even the most engaged white supremacist gamer will become terribly bored playing this garbage RPG, as the mechanics are terrible and woefully incomplete to the point of complete unplayability. The Rev. Molyneaux couldn't write a book properly, as many pages seem to be missing, and it ends abruptly without any sort of conclusion or even a full system. It can't even do white supremacy right, as the enemy non-white NPCs are objectively superior to the white player characters in every way.

Not technically the worst RPG, though.[note 1][2][3]

External links[edit]

Notes[edit]

  1. The throne of "worst RPG ever" is commonly held by the "Unholy Trinity" of F.A.T.A.L.Wikipedia, RaHoWa, and HYBRID. While F.A.T.A.L. is often held to be the worst one of the three, some think RaHoWa is worse. Considering that F.A.T.A.L. has detailed rules for rape (which is encouraged as a character activity- when one critic called it "the date rape RPG", the author's response was "where is dating included?") and anal circumference stats while requiring the use of quadratic equations just to generate a character's stats (and does so in ways where the stats that should be related to each other have little actual correlation), this is saying a lot. HYBRID is only on the list for being a byzantine number mess that only serves as erotica for Math Co-processers, and is speculated to be the product of mental illness.

References[edit]

  1. 1.0 1.1 Racial Holy War by Kenneth Molyneaux, Church of the Creator (archived from December 23, 2001).
  2. Review of FATAL. Darren MacLennan and Jason Sartin, RPG.net
  3. RaHoWa. Jason Sartin, Primary Error.