User talk:Fretfulporpentine

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This user is BUGLER.

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Hi, pull up a goat & make yourself at home. SusanYou don't have to talk, but ... 10:20, 31 October 2007 (EDT)

Izzat you? SusanYou don't have to talk, but ... 10:39, 31 October 2007 (EDT)

Hi Susan - no, that's another porp. Fretfulporpentine 10:41, 31 October 2007 (EDT)
Are you then a prickly character or have you lately met your father's ghost? SusanYou don't have to talk, but ... 11:37, 31 October 2007 (EDT)
Welcome Fretful. Have you just been blocked at CP or have we met you before in some guise? In the mean time you can help us out with the goat pumping. Genghis Khant 12:36, 31 October 2007 (EDT)

Susan, like all of my Shakesperean references this one doesn't come direct from the bard but via Bertie Wooster... Thanks, Genghis. I've just been blocked (as Pachyderm) but had several earlier incarnations (John11;35 or whatever it was among them). I'd given up on spoofing while Fox was on the prowl, and tried to get sysopped by dilligently adding 'mundane' articles. When that didn't work I sought fun by riling Schlafly on errors in his lectures. I was writing an academic dissertation at the time and hoped to get banned so that I could break my CP addiction and concentrate, so I began to accuse him of genocide denial, support of terrorism, eating babies etc etc in increasingly intemperate terms... no joy. It was eventually referring to TK as an organ-grinder's monkey that got me the hammer. Once my IP number clears I might go back to spoofing. Fretfulporpentine 08:54, 2 November 2007 (EDT)

Uh, hope you don't mind my "improvements" to your userpage. Red links are an eyesore. --Star of David.png Radioactive afikomen Please ignore all my awful pre-2014 comments. 03:06, 3 May 2008 (EDT)


In light of your fretting and prickliness, you have been demoted. Your quills can now block people, as well as prick them! : ) Star of David.png Radioactive afikomen Please ignore all my awful pre-2014 comments. 18:21, 2 November 2008 (EST)

Here's your floor buffer, toilet cleaner, and instruction manual. Enjoy! Star of David.png Radioactive afikomen Please ignore all my awful pre-2014 comments. 18:21, 2 November 2008 (EST)

Airstip One[edit]

Cookie half.jpg

Having popped open my copy of 1984, I can see that you are indeed right. Thanks for the correction. -RedbackG'day 07:35, 29 December 2008 (EST)

Thanks and apologies - I just realised I should have raised this on the talk page so reverted! Fretfulporpentine 07:38, 29 December 2008 (EST)
No worries, I appreciate you bringing it to my attention either way. Here's your have a half-eaten, stale cookie for helping, enjoy! -RedbackG'day 07:42, 29 December 2008 (EST)


Is it really you? weaseLOIdWeaselly.jpg~ 10:38, 1 January 2009 (EST)

Yes - hence the Shakespeare on 'my' talk page. Fretfulporpentine 10:41, 1 January 2009 (EST)
Congratulations, that was the best thing to happen to CP ever. Too sad it had to end that way, though. Etc 11:30, 1 January 2009 (EST)
Thanks, Etc. I'd like to have taken it further, though I'm not too upset to have pulled the plug.
What was your gameplan if you'd got the adminship? weaseLOIdWeaselly.jpg~ 12:02, 1 January 2009 (EST)
No real plans, Weaseloid. I was very conscious of all the coment on RW - indeed, that was a major spur to carrying on - but there was no Big Plan other than to push it as far as possible (until today, when I thought, 'New Year - academic work - ah, soddit'). It was really a drip-drip approach of undermining truthiness, rather than planning a master-stroke of vandalism. I did use to lie awake trying to think of ruses, though - that was where the 'Ban Atheists' debate came from. Had I got through this I was thinking of something along the lines of a Conservapedia Purification Campaign. Fretfulporpentine 18:10, 1 January 2009 (EST)
Sad thing is that Andy will come away convinced of his powers of discernment and "better than 99% accurate" ability to spot a parodist. The fact that it took you beating him over the head to do it won't even register. --Phentari 12:37, 1 January 2009 (EST)

Epic Parodist was epic[edit]

I get the parodist thing, but was it neccassary to be such a jerk to other users? Good game all the same.DSFARGEG 13:10, 1 January 2009 (EST)

Sorry. I feel bad about HJ (which never was meant as 'hand job', just as an abbreviation); somewhat less so about Philip, as I do not really share the PJR-love common here. He would have us tied (and tidied) to stakes, regretfully of course, but carrying a lighter. Sorry also to BRichtigen, to many others, and of course to Toffers. But Bugler had to be an absolute c**t, otherwise his success wouldn't have meant as much. Fretfulporpentine 18:05, 1 January 2009 (EST)
Got any good emails or backdoor politics material? :3 AndyToad.gifNorsemanCyser Melomel 14:26, 1 January 2009 (EST)
Probably not that interesting, but I'll put them here in due course (and no folderols about confidentiality. If they're sent to me, they're mine.). Fretfulporpentine 18:05, 1 January 2009 (EST)
You did very well. You really did have to be a dick to have any effect. Mexmax, for example, scared Aschlafly, maybe gave him a gray hair, and forced him to circle the wagons, but the lingering effect was null. You, on the other hand, forced him to work against himself. Killing Tim & HJ, and mortally wounding PJR, will have a much more lingering effect than anything Mexmax & co ever did. And, to top it off, you weren't the one who pulled the trigger in any of those cases: you just enabled Andy to do it to himself.-caius (ninja) 18:20, 1 January 2009 (EST)
Thanks, Caius. Fretfulporpentine 18:22, 1 January 2009 (EST)


In recognition of your dubious achievements, I hearby award you this poorly-designed Baphomet Award for PURE EVIL. WēāŝēīōīďWeaselly.jpgMethinks it is a Weasel 19:05, 1 January 2009 (EST)

Congrats on your long run at Conservapedia. It has given new hope to us vandals and parodists. Got any tips? And would you believe I'm teh fly? 'Cause I'm not. --"ConservapediaUndergroundResistor"has no half-life 15:42, 4 January 2009 (EST)

I salute you!Willis 10:05, 5 January 2009 (EST)

It was you who gave me the 'gentle warning.' I think it was also you who blocked me. That was as the person who complained about the Obama=mind control nut story. --"ConservapediaUndergroundResistorhas no half-life 13:49, 6 January 2009 (EST)


You certainly thought of some interesting nicknames =). But I have a question for you: Why did you put the libertarian userbox on your CP userpage after the userpage was created by a vandal? You removed it shortly after, but that was the one thing that led me to believe that you were not a parodist. Rather, as it was put by LowKey, I thought you were adopting a persona to impress Andy (essentially the same thing, but with a different motive).

Otherwise you were flawless until the end. FernoKlumpMr. Assfly! Don't forget about this petition! 20:13, 1 January 2009 (EST)

Thanks, Klump. I remember putting some boxes up, then thinking they were a bit OTT and taking them down again. But how do you mean userpage was created by a vandal? Did I not create my own userpage? Not sarcastic - I can't remember. Fretfulporpentine 17:52, 2 January 2009 (EST)
You had a red link until a vandal put something like "Hello? He's a parodist!!!" And then I think you added the userboxes. The Libertarian one threw me off because Schlafly hates any political thought that is not his own. But perhaps libertarian means something different in Britain than the U.S.? FernoKlumpMr. Assfly! Don't forget about this petition! 19:19, 2 January 2009 (EST)
I don't think so - but I'm afraid I honestly can't remember. Unfortunately Bugler occasionaly posted when he had, ahem, taken refreshment. Fretfulporpentine 19:22, 2 January 2009 (EST)
Yeah, that was me. As "Drummer" I posted a big bold line on your page that said Parodist! Just because ya'll are too stupid to figure it out. SirChuckBA product of Affirmative Action 16:11, 6 January 2009 (EST)


You bastard. --JArneal 02:55, 2 January 2009 (EST)

Don't know if you meant it but...[edit]

Thanks for ceasing your little tirade against vaccination --NHaberl :-)


That's about all I have to say. Except this, in response to Ames above: Bugler actually had very little to do with "killing" me, though had I continued he probably would have had something to do with my being killed. Bugler I could deal with, because he never actually tried to defend his actions. JazzMan 12:58, 2 January 2009 (EST)

You gave JessicaT sleepless nights! DEEEAAAAAAATH! /jealousy >_> AndyToad.gifNorsemanCyser Melomel 13:34, 2 January 2009 (EST)
  • PUNCH*
That's from Jessica. I made it a little harder than I needed to, though :) JazzMan 13:47, 2 January 2009 (EST)
She is a violent young lady: first itching to hammer me (maybe I should rephrase that, but it's good to see a jealous Norseman), now this. In fact Bugler was always courteous to Kotomi and didn't threaten her at all, but give a dog a bad name... <sigh>. Fretfulporpentine 14:03, 2 January 2009 (EST)
I see you didn't have to do much acting to be Bugler... FPBC much? JazzMan 16:30, 2 January 2009 (EST)
FPBC? Fretfulporpentine 10:07, 4 January 2009 (EST)
Like the BBC, but FP instead. JazzMan 14:35, 4 January 2009 (EST)
If I recall correctly she took the fight to Bugler. He (not really you after all) rather deserved it though. EternalCritic 14:10, 2 January 2009 (EST)


Are you studying English or Creative Writing at university?

No - I'm a history PhD student. Part of my research involves thinking about leadership style, so CP has been useful in a sense, though I'll have to remind myself repeatedly that not all leaders are like Andy. Fretfulporpentine 14:29, 2 January 2009 (EST)
Routinization of Charisma much?-caius (ninja) 15:10, 2 January 2009 (EST)

Thank you for so much entertainment[edit]

I present to you the Duane Goat Award, for inspiring and ass-kicking parody

Thank you very much for making CP so much fun during 2008. Etc 14:37, 2 January 2009 (EST)

<g> thanks!— Unsigned, by: Fretfulporpentine / talk / contribs

Well deserved! I have to say, FP, my only beef with you is that you totally fumbled the "Brian Ugler" thing. I would have loved to see you make sysop and nuke the entire site.-caius (ninja) 15:11, 2 January 2009 (EST)
There are plenty of chances to write parody in the fun section of RationalWiki. Proxima Centauri 17:09, 2 January 2009 (EST)


I still can't believe you gave me a ban for sarcasm. That was over the Godwin's law comment, right? EternalCritic 18:00, 2 January 2009 (EST)


Any behind the scenes info on TK? Given his past behaviour, I was rather hoping there's be new info on him from your end...DSFARGEG 15:32, 3 January 2009 (EST)

a question[edit]

First of all, when I first read your comments on CP I immediately knew that you were either a parodist or Mr. Slave to Schlafly's Mr. Garrison IRL. I just wonder why, as a parodist, you didn't ban the more sane "liberals" on the site - after just a few minutes of browsing science and math articles I see several chat pages with still-blue users making legitimately snide comments about CP censorship and insane sysops. You could have done so much more "safe" damage if you had made sweeping bans of everyone sane - why didn't you? --- 05:40 GMT, 04 January 2009 - Anon Liberapedian

Both Bugler and I are far too stupid ever to venture onto science and maths pages, so evil librul babykillers who concentrated their activities there would have been relatively safe (from me, at any rate). Fretfulporpentine 10:04, 4 January 2009 (EST)
Besides, Ed does a wonderful job of deterring anyone who even thinks about touching an article on maths. alt 10:46, 4 January 2009 (EST)

Most gracious, kind, and reverend signior:[edit]

Hi Bugler/FP:

I followed your career with great interest here. You truly outdid anything I ever even tried to do. In order to inspire new hordes of deep cover socks, I was wondering if you'd like to make a "Guide for Parodists" with me. Please let me know, it could be fun!-Mex Max 12:32, 4 January 2009 (EST)

You are kinder than I deserve. A 'Guide for Parodists' does sound fun - I'd be happy to help. Fretfulporpentine 15:37, 4 January 2009 (EST)
So, here's what we've been working on: Conservapedia:A Parodist's Guide to Villainy. Please add your ideas... especially for dealing with TK.-Mex Max 23:59, 4 January 2009 (EST)

A couple of suggestions[edit]

Hi Buggers. Suggestion one is: change your name on RW to Bugler. Why not rub their faces in it? That name cropping up when they come over here.....

Suggestion two is for future parodists (or you if you do it again). Call me slow on the uptake. OK very slow on the uptake but I did eventually figure you out (when I mentioned "Big Science" in the PNAS reply and you wrote "Big Science") and when I did it was quite fun. But it would have been more fun if I could have really pushed it. I could have played the desperately earnest liberal (I'm no actor, but then I wouldn't actually need to act), you the gibbering conservative loon. I couldn't really do it because I didn't know when you might block me. Now, if you were to have emailed me (and maybe one or two others) I could have let rip. You could have emailed me if you thought I was pushing it a bit too far. You could also have unblocked me if any of the others blocked me ("he writes nonesense, but it gives me the opportunity to elucidate real conservative insights - Toffers is an inverted "useful idiot") or I could have done little bits of useful stuff you could point to. Just think of all the fun we could have had on Best Concepts to Teach Teenagers! --Toffeeman 17:41, 4 January 2009 (EST)

I think you're touching on something I figured would work; a consortium. If you want to play the uber parody card, you can't really do it on your own. You need a collective, have 10 people with two or three accounts all shared between them. Providing you're not at it on your own ALL the time then there won't be many log in or editing conflicts and it'd be so innocently incoherent that you couldn't ever detect anything sinister about it at all. ArmondikoVpostate 09:57, 5 January 2009 (EST)

An email from Karajou[edit]

From: Karajou ( Sent: 16 December 2008 17:43:53 To: Bugler (

Here's the bad news: You need to tone it down, and I'm serious about it. What you need to tone down is your relations with others on the site, i.e you cannot be impolite. Try to be as polite as possible, and when you block, just block, and give a simple valid reason in the block line. Try not to do blocks that others would think to be unnecessary, like your 1-minute block just now. Here's the good news: First and foremost, I like you and your presence in Conservapedia. The bad guys may hate you, but they hate me even more, and I've demonstrated that fact in more ways against them than just within CP. Second, the toneing down of yourself is not without a necessary reason that's beneficial to you: there is a push by some of us, myself included, to make you a sysop. So, what do you say? Karajou

Wait, wait, wait. Does this mean you're Bugler? Star of David.png Radioactive afikomen Please ignore all my awful pre-2014 comments. 07:11, 5 January 2009 (EST)
Oh, nevermind. I guess I missed the coming out party. No one ever tells me these things. *sniffle* Star of David.png Radioactive afikomen Please ignore all my awful pre-2014 comments. 07:12, 5 January 2009 (EST)

Well done[edit]

It was nice yelling back and forth with you. You had me completely confused about you, to be sure. CorryWow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we? 08:25, 5 January 2009 (EST)

It was an honor to have been one of your targets! (For one sarcastic user page remark- but it makes sense now...) Kalliumtalk 22:25, 6 January 2009 (EST)

BTW, if you're not going to change your RW username, at the very least put something like this (or preferably something better) on your user page. Kalliumtalk 22:47, 6 January 2009 (EST)

Brian Ugler[edit]

I happen to remember typing something way back, during the height of the whole first name thing that Bugler's real name, must be Brian Ugler, with a few others. Did that any influence on you or did we just happen to come up with the same name? Just wondering. SirChuckBA product of Affirmative Action 16:17, 6 January 2009 (EST)

I think it may well have been. Fretfulporpentine 07:54, 10 January 2009 (EST)
Bugler had already mentioned a "Mrs Bugler" at least a couple of times ([1] [2]). Maybe Andy remembered that, & that's why the "B.Ugler" line wasn't convincing. WēāŝēīōīďWeaselly.jpgMethinks it is a Weasel 11:22, 12 January 2009 (EST)

If you don't mind my asking...[edit]

Was this an allusion to Laurie Anderson? Or am I reading too much into it? A Writer of Vaudevilles 23:43, 6 January 2009 (EST)

No and yes - sorry! Fretfulporpentine 07:52, 10 January 2009 (EST)

That was close to the wind![edit]

You must have nerves of steel!--Kriss AkabusiAAAAWOOOOGAAAR!!1 12:11, 9 January 2009 (EST)

Soprry, Kriss, the link is broken (Teacaked?), so what was it I had nerves of steel about? (Unlikely, if you but knew me) Fretfulporpentine 07:51, 10 January 2009 (EST)
Weird. It's somewhere on this site, where you left a message for HelpJazz saying something like "It seems to me that Bugler enjoys his bickering couple relationship with you, and would be sorry to see you go." Mind you, all these things can seem like clues in retrospect.--Kriss AkabusiAAAAWOOOOGAAAR!!1 11:27, 10 January 2009 (EST)
I've repaired the link above. Might have something to do with the server move. WēāŝēīōīďWeaselly.jpgMethinks it is a Weasel 11:14, 12 January 2009 (EST)

It Wisna me[edit]

Contrary to rumours, to which I may or may not have contributed, it is now clear that I was not Bugler. Anyway congratulations on your sterling work. I enjoyed every minute of it, even if you blasted one or the other of my socks. It was clear that such bastardiness is among the most effective ways to get on at the Wackyocracy. I consider my socks to have fallen in the line of duty. You could have gone on, even convinced the Assfly of the genuinness of your name. Google informs me that Ugler is a German name [3] and there is a Brian Ugler somewhere [4]. You could have spun some tale about your great grandparents being Christian refugees from atheistic Nazi Germany. Your lack of German simply explained away because your Grand parents didn't use it with your parents and it was lost in the family. The family having long since lost touch with any relatives in Germany. You could be well on the way to sysopship by now. What would you have done then? Auld Nick 14:06, 10 January 2009 (EST)


Vould vou vike vou voin ve vabal? Vou vould be the chief editor for Conservapedia. --"ConservapediaUndergroundResistorhas no half-life 11:16, 12 January 2009 (EST)

Pi is for Parody[edit]

Finally I can hand this thing out to a partner in crime. PubliusTalk 14:41, 14 February 2009 (EST)

I present you with Publius' "Parodist's Parodist" Excellence in Parody Prize

A message for you[edit]

here. WēāŝēīōīďWeaselly.jpgMethinks it is a Weasel 18:10, 1 March 2009 (EST)

Interesting, if ever I get back in. Fretfulporpentine 18:16, 1 March 2009 (EST)
Can't you get yourself back in? Undo what has been done? WēāŝēīōīďWeaselly.jpgMethinks it is a Weasel 18:18, 1 March 2009 (EST)
I've been IP daisy-cuttered, and TK won't play ball, even though I've suggested that I'd make a useful ally. I also wrote (as Bugler) an email of contrition to Andy, but even he's not that stupid. Fretfulporpentine 18:28, 1 March 2009 (EST)
Teh Weasel is quite right about this. I just checked. --Purple George!YossieSpring in Fialta 12:26, 12 March 2009 (EDT)
Well, that went well. :D Excellent rampage! --Purple George!YossieSpring in Fialta 15:57, 13 March 2009 (EDT)

Who/what the hell is TK?[edit]

Tell me straight, is he a parodist? I'm not sure, but he doesn't seem too serious, judging by the evidence presented by PJR.

(The reason I'm asking YOU is that (a) you've likely had more experience with him via email and (b) you are likely a better judge of parody (being the best at it) than most people here.) --Star trooper man 05:32, 30 March 2009 (EDT)

And congratulations! Some of your essays had me in hysterics.

He's a real person, as the LA Times article demonstrated, but it is evident that he is trying to destroy CP. Harmonic evil Phantom! 04:40, 30 March 2009 (EDT)
Well yes, but is he a simple parodist, or something else?

Do you suppose Schlafly reads this site, and if so, do you suppose he genuinely considers if some of the criticisms/musings made about some of his editors are actually correct? --Star trooper man 05:32, 30 March 2009 (EDT)

He's more than just a parodist; he seems to enjoy destroying communities: before he came to CP he devastated a site called hotornot by playing the admins against each other, and he came here to try and do the same thing. See here for a more comprehensive history. Harmonic evil Phantom! 05:42, 30 March 2009 (EDT)
(EC)What a strange place for this conversation. Schlafly reads it a bit, but so do the other sysop (TK and JessicaT by far the most) so he probably relies on them to read it for him. I doubt they act on everything we say, because before you know it he will be blocking good contributors for nothing. We also pointed out our friend Fretfulporpentine (Bugler) was a parodist about 500 times and Fox was the only one to ever block him for it until he came out proper.
Nobody knows what TK's angle is, he tells us he wants to take down CP whilst whispering sweet nothings into Andy's ear about doing everything he does to get rid of the vandals. Basically I think TK is in it for his own pleasure, he likes to have power and he enjoys abusing it. He has done this sort of thing before at HotOrNot. He is not taking down CP as a big favour to us, he is doing it for an ego trip, whether it is his intention to destroy it or not. Once he has got all the contributors down to a trickle he will move on, not because he is satisfied with what he has done but because he has no one left to bully. - User 05:44, 30 March 2009 (EDT)

Huge Fan[edit]

Hey, just wanted you to know that I'm a huge fan of your work (any chance the "banning atheist" thing was archived?). Also, I'm starting a challenge over in the Saloon for anyone interested, and I think it might fit well into your skill set, if you're up for it.--Mustex 06:10, 25 September 2009 (UTC)

Always nice[edit]

Always nice to see a man of your calibre back around again. AceMcWicked 10:22, 25 October 2009 (UTC)