Fun talk:Conservapedia, The Musical

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Wow, I started this on a whim last night (Australia time), and it blossomed into this beautiful project, we really know how to get things done here! DLerner 02:06, 22 June 2008 (EDT)

Well some of us who aren't in the in crowd on either site didn't get cast! I guess I am working the lighting, and so because of that Andy gets a spotlight 24/7.--Tom Moorefiat justitia ruat coelum 02:55, 22 June 2008 (EDT)
Harrison Ford is acceptable, although I would have preferred being portrayed by Jesus of Nazareth.--Tom Moorefiat justitia ruat coelum 03:05, 22 June 2008 (EDT)
I was worried you'd be offended. A lot of folks didn't like "Crystal Skulls," and I don't know your age, etc. Plus, it means you wouldn't have a singing role :-( --Arcan ¡ollǝɥ 03:09, 22 June 2008 (EDT)
I don't think Michael J. Fox can sing, either  : ( Star of David.png Radioactive afikomen Please ignore all my awful pre-2014 comments. 03:17, 22 June 2008 (EDT)
There's plenty of room in the chorus. Jollyfish.gifGenghisIs the Pope a Catholic? 03:41, 22 June 2008 (EDT)


Can be found here


Thank you, I was trying to think of a way to include the include the FBI incident in, Bali Hai is perfect. Do you think the CP know as much about good theater (well, minus the Andrew Lloyd Webber stuff:) ) as we do? DLerner 04:19, 22 June 2008 (EDT)

I doubt it. Even though the only plays I know fairly well are Gigi, My Fair Lady, and Music Man. Star of David.png Radioactive afikomen Please ignore all my awful pre-2014 comments. 04:25, 22 June 2008 (EDT)

Not quite fulfilling the rules[edit]

  • "I'm Gonna Get Me A Largely Defensive Weapon Of Gun" ("I'm Gonna Get Me A Gun" - Cat Stevens)
  • "I Say A Little Classroom Prayer (For You)" ("I Say A Little Prayer (For You)" - Aretha Franklin)
  • "Andy and Mom" ("Mathew and Son" - Cat Stevens)
  • "Evolution. No! Nein!" ("Revolution No. 9 " - The Beatles)
  • "In The Navy (The Karajou Song)" ("In the Navy" - The Village People)
  • "Relax" ("Relax" - Frankie Goes to Hollywood Values)
  • "DeMyer" ("Delilah" - Tom Jones)
  • "Ed's the One Going to Rev. Moon" (Everyone's Going to the Moon - Jonathan King)
  • "I Fought the Liberals and the Liberals Won" (Clash, Andy's favorite)
  • Boogie-woogie Bugler Boy from Conserva-P D ('he made the Libruls jump/when he blocked merrily') ("Boogie-woogie Bugle Boy" - Andrews Sisters)
  • Sisters are Doing It for Themselves, Sitting in La-Zee-Boys and Stuffing their Faces with Twinkies, the Dirty Sluts ("Sisters are Doing It for Themselves" - Aretha Franklin & Annie Lennox)

I'm sure we could do something with The Lullabye Of Broadway - "A Gay Note of Comedy!", "A Musical Joyride Along The Great White Way!". Jollyfish.gifGenghisIs the Pope a Catholic? 07:13, 22 June 2008 (EDT)

I am speechless.[edit]

This is totally awesome. --λινυσ() 21:03, 22 June 2008 (EDT)

One or two of these gentlemen on this wiki know rather a lot about Musicals. Don't give Kenservative more reason to loath us. SusanG  ContribsTalk 21:13, 22 June 2008 (EDT)
I think there are more then two Jews on the site, or were you referring to the other kind "knowing a lot about musicals"? DLerner 22:15, 22 June 2008 (EDT)
A Few, we could have our own synagogue! ... "Friends of Dorothy" is the kind. SusanG  ContribsTalk 22:22, 22 June 2008 (EDT)
I call Rabbi and Cantor! You could arrange the Kiddush every Shabbos :) DLerner 22:27, 22 June 2008 (EDT)
I um... I don't know if I fully agree with your sentiment, but WOW... this seems to be a little too much free time on our hands. *laugh* PS: Where's me? --Eira omtg! The Goat be praised. 17:14, 23 June 2008 (EDT)
All of us put ourselves in. Go ahead! Star of David.png Radioactive afikomen Please ignore all my awful pre-2014 comments. 17:21, 23 June 2008 (EDT)


Beside Shagie, is anyone else going to attempt to actually write some of these? ThunderkatzHo! 22:35, 22 June 2008 (EDT)

AND it seems to me that CP's getting the best of this, where's OUR songs (they outnumber us vastly at least 90/10 [oops]) SusanG  ContribsTalk 22:45, 22 June 2008 (EDT)
"give me time, I'm moving today, I really should be packing DLerner 22:45, 22 June 2008 (EDT)
have we got anything from "The Producers" yet? SusanG  ContribsTalk 22:54, 22 June 2008 (EDT)
"Springtime for Andy and ...." (I'm not very good @ this!) SusanG  ContribsTalk 22:55, 22 June 2008 (EDT)
Re: first question, gawd, give us time. We'll have to pare the list if we are "serious". I did edit the MASH one! Anyway.... DLerner.... Lerner & Leowe? "Lerner and Below" as the producers of this epic? ħumanUser talk:Human 23:20, 22 June 2008 (EDT)
Yeah, Lerner will help produce this, (but remember Alan Jay Lerner made as many flops as he did hits... :)) I'm not going to have any more time today, so I'll probably get back to this in about a day. DLerner 00:08, 23 June 2008 (EDT)
Doesn't that also mean he made as many hits as he did flops? That's a pretty good track record... ħumanUser talk:Human 22:08, 23 June 2008 (EDT)


I hope you don't mind, but the list was growing too big and too unorganized, so I imposed some structure on it—Acts I, II, III, and IV. Unfortunately, I am both too lazy and don't keep up very well with developments at CP, so I left the songs more or less in the same order. Would someone please rearrange them into at a vague sort of order, corresponding roughly with the appropriate acts? Star of David.png Radioactive afikomen Please ignore all my awful pre-2014 comments. 01:04, 23 June 2008 (EDT)

Number of Songs[edit]

The average musical has maybe 15-20 numbers. We're looking at a musical running for maybe two or three nights right now. Shall we trim it down a little? Choose songs that match with the events of the Conservapedia story? Wazza (Not Wazzock, Wazza)Approach the Presence 11:02, 23 June 2008 (EDT)

I know. I'd been thinking that, too. Because—let's be realistic here—this'll never actually be produced, we can afford to have a much larger than average number of songs. Say, fifteen per act. Anything past that should be trimmed down. Star of David.png Radioactive afikomen Please ignore all my awful pre-2014 comments. 11:48, 23 June 2008 (EDT)

We could do a long list of fifteen per act, then a short list of five per act. With four acts, that works out quite well. And then we could maybe do it as a youtube video or something. :P Wazza (Not Wazzock, Wazza)Approach the Presence 11:52, 23 June 2008 (EDT)

How about as many as we want per act (say, 15-20), but the "best" ones, that would make a single 90-120 minute "coherent" musical, are bolded? ħumanUser talk:Human 14:23, 23 June 2008 (EDT)

Modular musical?[edit]

We could have any number of sings to choose from and limit each act to 15. Each touring company would then consider what variety of hay-seeds they were playing to and vary the musical selections accordingly. It'll "play in Perioa" as well as NYC, Toronto or London. The songs only have to be vaguely related to the know, just like a "real musical". CЯacke® 13:25, 23 June 2008 (EDT)

Ha! Do musicals have plots! SusanG  ContribsTalk 13:30, 23 June 2008 (EDT)
Like the Vagina Monologues, where the performers choose whichever bits they want to include... ħumanUser talk:Human 14:23, 23 June 2008 (EDT)
It's a whole new paradigm! Or at least a paradigm! I think! --AKjeldsenPotential fundamentalist! 14:24, 23 June 2008 (EDT)


Very good work boys and girls! Now all we need to do is write the songs and we'll be able to begin producing it! DLerner 20:55, 23 June 2008 (EDT)

I must say, though I am not involved in this project, I am in awe at the superb work that is going into it. So far, my favourite song is "I am the very model of a petty naval officer". Can I have a fleeting, incidental cameo, or is casting now closed? I could be a ship's rigger, cannonball loader, or a ladler of Grog? DogP


having duplicates is a bad idea, even if it looks right. Can the scene headers have the act numbers in them too, please? (I'd bash in and edit, but it looks like someone is hard at work) ħumanUser talk:Human 22:15, 23 June 2008 (EDT)


I'm not cast? Horrors! --λινυσ() 22:18, 23 June 2008 (EDT)

Everyone added themselves, really. It's you're own fault  : ) Star of David.png Radioactive afikomen Please ignore all my awful pre-2014 comments. 23:56, 23 June 2008 (EDT)
Not really, there was a "core list" by the time I found it. Many important cast members, however, were left off. ħumanUser talk:Human 00:41, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
Well, what can you expect. So many newcomers, so unaware of the subtle nuances of our glorious history. Who even remember the frightful Donut Wars these days? The La-Ta Controversy? The Breast Cancer Incident between Andy and PalMD? The L.A. Times Hilarity? Oy vey. --AKjeldsenPotential fundamentalist! 15:53, 24 June 2008 (EDT)

I say we record some of these.[edit]

People can sing their own lines, and then we can piece the individual clips together. Easy enough.

In case you're wondering, I don't have much to do at the moment. --λινυσ() 15:48, 24 June 2008 (EDT)

Of course, we would also have to have Andy, TK, and others played by some of us… --λινυσ() 15:53, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
I can find you some stuff to do if you like.............but then again perhaps producing the RW musical is your life's calling? tmtoulouse provoke 15:55, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
I'll just point out that assuming you want reasonably acceptable quality, recording requires at least some appropriate equipment and editing software, music, and people who can actually sing. ;-) --AKjeldsenPotential fundamentalist! 15:58, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
We have a pretty geeky set here so the first few might no be to difficult. However, the last part might be difficult. Jollyfish.gifGenghisIs the Pope a Catholic? 16:09, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
Ah, but it's perfect. Remember that we're talking about people who spend 99.999999% of their time of teh Intertubes anyway. And sure, Trent, that would be cool. What do you need performed? --λινυσ() 16:21, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
Any ideas on how to enable interwiki import? tmtoulouse provoke 16:45, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
Well, it can be done via transclusion and substitution quite easily… no history, though, sorry. I suppose a hack could be written for that, but it would take at least an hour. I'll go enable scary transclusion now. --λινυσ() 17:03, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
Done. Stuff can be downloaded to RW via {{subst:cptrans::Example}} --λινυσ() 17:07, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
Hmm… that's nasty… --λινυσ() 17:17, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
Right, the issue is that we want the Lenski dialog talk page with all of its history intact. I have exported the page out into XML but its a 30 meg file and the mediawiki importer is rejecting it. tmtoulouse provoke 17:20, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
Ah, right then. Do you have access to php.ini or anything similar? --λινυσ() 17:25, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
Well I added a php.ini in the /etc directory, or is it suppose to be in another directory? tmtoulouse provoke 17:28, 24 June 2008 (EDT)

1)Get MP3s of music
2)Record Vocals
4)Open on Broadway!

tmtoulouse provoke 16:02, 24 June 2008 (EDT)

5) PROFIT!!!!1!1!!! --λινυσ() 17:17, 24 June 2008 (EDT)

I can help out with the music (vocals, mixing, etc.) if you're actually serious about this. Not to toot my own horn (haha), but my second major was music, so if you're serious, let me know what you need. --Arcan ¡ollǝɥ 17:39, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
I think it would be cool if we could get people to do it. Any volunteers? --λινυσ() 17:51, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
I'll contribute my super-Tenor voice. --Hojidie! 17:54, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
I'll contribute my untested, untrained teenage voice for some of the homeskolars. --λινυσ() 18:02, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
I have dibs on Bethany. --Hojidie! 18:05, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
Can I do Student in Little Know Facts? --λινυσ() 18:21, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
I'm in. I've sung semi-professionally, so I'm good to go. Stile4aly 18:33, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
Excellent. Any particular character you're interested in? Also, can we write lyrics for more of these, those of us who are good at that? --λινυσ() 18:35, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
I have a 16 channel ADAT studio thingie in my living room, so once we've got the charts and backing tracks together, you can all just stop by and record your parts. Or perhaps we can figure out a way to sync up on line. Or... email multi-track .wav files around for bits to be added? ħumanUser talk:Human 18:46, 24 June 2008 (EDT)

<-- Re: lyrics @ Linus, the hard part is that a lot of these songs are a bit obscure to some of us. I think we should allow "non-musical" songs to broaden our possibilities. Thoughts? ħumanUser talk:Human 18:47, 24 June 2008 (EDT)

What I was thinking was that we could record individual parts, and then digitally piece them together. And yes, I think we should allow some non-musical songs, if only for variety and ease of writing. --λινυσ() 18:50, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
Many of the songs are just good puns on the titles and would be hard to adapt. Modern songs often have short lines which makes it more difficult to fit something new. The Gilbert & Sullivan stuff is usually quite wordy which gives room to manoeuvre. So you could parody some of the songs or use the melody but you would lose the joke of the title. Jollyfish.gifGenghisIs the Pope a Catholic? 18:52, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
If someone is good with midi files then they could beef up freely available stuff (might still be copyrighted tho). Jollyfish.gifGenghisIs the Pope a Catholic? 18:54, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
I have GarageBand, so… --λινυσ() 19:00, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
Also if you want to make something of it then you need to outline a proper story and pick about 15-20 songs for key points. Most of the songs need to reflect a particular event rather than broad topics.Jollyfish.gifGenghisIs the Pope a Catholic? 18:58, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
Er. Not to discourage anyone, but are you guys quite sure you're aware of the size of what you're trying to set up here? --AKjeldsenPotential fundamentalist! 19:03, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
AWESOMENESS? --λινυσ() 19:51, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
Yeah, sounds impossible. But, hey, a man can dream can't he? The first ever musical performed entirely by volunteer actors collaboratively over the internet? Open source musical theatre? It'd certainly be awesome. Anyone here play instruments? I play the banjo, but I'm not sure that's much cop for this purpose. Need someone who can play piano as a minimum. -- 20:22, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
I play the piano, and I have a digital keyboard, with a massive range of instruments. And "radio" shows have been done, collaboratively, over teh Tubes before. --λινυσ() 20:29, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
Guitar, me, a bit useless for this. What we need is for the "producer" to create a guide track with a good sync that people can add their parts to and then send back to be added to the master. Anyone have ProTools? We also need to keep the track recording quality high (low noise, use as many of the 16 bits as possible, stay near the key ;) etc.) so when we put it together we don't just end up with a wash of hiss. ħumanUser talk:Human 20:34, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
I make an attempt at mandolin, but that's hardly useful, and I used to do some guitar, but minimally. I know nothing about musical software, audio internet collaborations, and I can't sing, but I reckon I can pull off a half decent Andy. DickTurpis 20:40, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
Ah, but see, I can play everything via the power of the computer. Of course, I don't really want to, but…
We should have auditions. E-mail me ( your rendition of someone, and I'll put it to vote somewhere. --λινυσ() 20:46, 24 June 2008 (EDT)


I want to be the "forget the excuses" etc. guy in 90/10 (Blood money)!!! ħumanUser talk:Human 22:04, 24 June 2008 (EDT)

EdPoor in my version. That one would actually be kinda hard to sing, just because of the way I assigned parts. ASchlafly replaces Caiaphus, the lowest male part in JCS. EdPoor replaces Annas, the highest male part. This was before I saw that ASchafly would be castrato and EdPoor would be bass. So whoever does ASchlafly has to sing like a high-pitched man trying really hard to sing low, and vice versa for EdPoor. ThunderkatzHo! 22:34, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
I'd settle for anyone singing near the key the rest of the song is in... hehe. ħumanUser talk:Human 19:32, 9 July 2008 (EDT)
We could also use voice-synthesizing programs such as wp:Vocaloid. NightFlareStill doesn't have a (nonstub) RWW article. 19:50, 9 July 2008 (EDT)


New software (add on to MW?) where the "article" is a multi-track sound file, with a midi sync track etc., and editors can digitally edit recorded tracks or add new tracks to the compilation. Then dump it all into ProTools and fix the mess in the mix. Or, the software would come with an open source mixer/effects plug ins so the mastering itself could also be a collaboratively edited program. Only downside: massive bandwidth, and difficulty of using the internet's packet routing system to record new info in sync with old... CD-quality music runs about 0.5 MB/minute/track, give-or-take. ħumanUser talk:Human 20:38, 24 June 2008 (EDT)

Somewhat relevant…[edit]

…although I really just want to plug some cool software. celtx --λινυσ() 20:50, 24 June 2008 (EDT)

Also: Audacity, although the GUI is hideous. --λινυσ() 20:54, 24 June 2008 (EDT)
Yah, I thunk I tried to mess with audacity once. Just once. ħumanUser talk:Human 22:02, 24 June 2008 (EDT)


This is fucking brilliant! We're approaching a minyan and writing a musical at the same time! On a similar light note, when my wife got divorced, her ex wanted the show tune albums. Hmm.-- Asclepius staff.png-PalMD --If it looks like a donut... 19:47, 9 July 2008 (EDT)

What's the Hmm supposed to mean? DLerner 22:14, 24 July 2008 (EDT)
Hmm, Doc is in denial about his ex's new BF penisular skillz (or even interest?) Sorry Doc, he asked... ħumanUser talk:Human 03:38, 25 July 2008 (EDT)


I get a solo! And it turns out I'm a big fan of Evita -- in the most manly way possible, I swear. Though the lyrics of that song are probably opposite to your intentions. JazzMan 02:04, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

Bugler Song?[edit]

I had an idea for a song about the wonderful horror that was Bugler, set to the tune of 'Genetic Repoman' from Repo! The Genetic Opera. Would it be cool for me to add that to the list?HumanisticJones 09:22, 5 February 2009 (EST)

Sure, why not? I think the lyrics go in a subfile. Just follow how other people have done it. ħumanUser talk:Human 20:35, 5 February 2009 (EST)

Possible "see also"[edit]

Just lamely requesting a Kennish reciprocal link to Essay:Conservapedia, the sitcom ;) ħumanUser talk:Human 20:31, 5 February 2009 (EST)

User song[edit]

Whoever can write a song about a user, any user, preferably ones that have stirred up some controversy here, gets a prize. We need to have a large section on what happens here. --"C, U Rthe NSFW, constructing goose egg. 12:10, 22 February 2009 (EST)

Isn't that what RWW is for? -- Nx talk 12:12, 22 February 2009 (EST)
They don't have enough activity. And it would fit well here, as well as my Jack Chick, I think he's sick song. --"C, U Rthe NSFW, constructing goose egg. 12:13, 22 February 2009 (EST)
Go over there and make some activity. -- Nx talk 12:15, 22 February 2009 (EST)
Someone has to be there. But okay. Here I go. --"C, U Rthe NSFW, constructing goose egg. 12:16, 22 February 2009 (EST)
I did it. --"C, U Rthe NSFW, constructing goose egg. 12:22, 22 February 2009 (EST)

Anyone interested anymore?[edit]

I think this is a great idea, but most of the contributions for this for the last few months have been reverting wandalism. Is anyone bothered with this one anymore? SJ Debaser 18:33, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

[Four months later] When it was first created it got a lot of edits quickly, but has stagnated quite heavily sense then. It was great fun, and it would be good to see it revived. I realize I still have a few verses to go in "I Am the Pasty Shadow of a Naval Petty Officer" if it's to match Penzance, and there are plenty of others that need to be written. My problem is I really don't know show tunes well. DickTurpis (talk) 23:00, 11 December 2009 (UTC)
[Four minutes later] I always thought it was a good idea, and wasn't there talk of recording some of these? I also don't know showtunes well, but I'm sure this can be revived. Aboriginal Noise Oh, you want to hit people with garbage cans? 23:04, 11 December 2009 (UTC)
[Five months later] I'm interested in getting this made, i'm writing my song now, and i'm gonna try writing the script, if anyone is still interested i'm all ears to what should go in the script. --Skeptical Moonbat is Skeptical (talk) 17:42, 29 April 2010 (UTC)
[Two months later] Aren't scripts in projects like these usually just a way of tying a bunch of songs together? DickTurpis (talk) 17:11, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
[Seven and one half months later] I can cover some of the instrumentation (guitar, bass, saxophone) if anyone is still interested. Oh, and I sing like a moose tripping on PCP, that could be helpful. Aboriginal Noise Oh, you want to hit people with garbage cans? 23:33, 10 February 2011 (UTC)

[Two and a bit years later] I just find it fantastic that early RationalWiki actually put me in this. (I wasn't aware of its existence until now.) Blue Talk 04:23, 3 October 2011 (UTC)

Also, holy shit this is brilliant. "Bali Hai" for "F.B.I." "You Can't Stop the Beat" for "You Can't Stop Deceit." I don't follow CP well enough to be able to contribute, but I hope some people return to this. Conservapedia, The Musical might end up being an important way to preserve the history of our founding and early days. Blue Talk 04:34, 3 October 2011 (UTC)
@Aboriginal Noise@DickTurpis@Human@Skeptical Moonbat I’d be glad to help with the scripts and song lyrics! If enough people are interested in finishing this work of art, then I’m pretty sure that this could still evolve into something amazing, even though it has been abandoned for 10 years. I’ve already finished Act 1 Scene 1. B'P"9 06:37, 31 October 2018 (UTC)
mate those guys left the site years ago, I doubt they even care about Conservapedia at all any more. Still complete it if you think that's meaningful to you. Avida Dollarsher again 08:57, 31 October 2018 (UTC)

Ressurection attempt[edit]

Anyone mind if i try one? — Unsigned, by: Devex3 / talk / contribs

Go right ahead! Blue Talk 23:04, 23 November 2011 (UTC)