Fun:North Carolina

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Wheee, airplanez!

Wait, why are the wings drooping down when gravity+lift would bend them upward? Oh, that goes back to the whole education thing, doesn't it?
North Carolina: First in Flight, 48th in Education
—Sign seen in Family Guy[note 1]

North Carolina is one of the original thirteen British colonies that revolted and formed the United States in the late eighteenth century. They briefly tried to leave the Union about ninety years later, in an intramural disagreement over certain economic issues. But they was "fail".

Sad thing is that it's not a Red State by any measure, but most of its officials are overwhelmingly right of center, even the Dems. North Carolina is no longer classified as a democracy according to an EIP Report.[1]


Did you know that Panthers owner Jerry Richardson received a statue for his 80th birthday? Of course he did. For your grandpa’s 80th birthday, he received a cut in Medicaid benefits from Pat McCrory.[2]

North Carolina has a section of its constitution banning atheists from holding public office[3] but this appears unenforceable as it violates the United States Constitution, though the state has proven with the HB2 issue that they really don't give a shit about federal law. Atheist Cecil Bothwell has been elected to public office amid controversy. [4] [5]

NC demographics are shifting as more and more Yankees relocate there to escape the horrors of the Northern Winter. In 2008, it even went for Barack Obama. In response, Art Pope and the Koch Brothers are doing whatever they can to convince as many progressives to leave as possible.[6][7] In 2010, they elected a Republican majority to the state legislature for the first time in 100 years, and they've been busy: loosening concealed weapons laws, cutting federal unemployment in spite of having the fifth worth jobless rate in the U.S., banning Sharia law because you know how Al Qaida's been trying to take over the court system here, restricting abortions by sneaking it through the Senate like a thief in the night, and slashing education because Art Pope wants more Mexican kids out in the fields, among other things.[8][9][10] Republicans in the General Assembly have threatened the separation of powers which is unprecedented historically.[11] As the press likes to point out, the GOP is behaving as if it will never have to win another fair election. Democrats had many chances to prevent this from happening: They could have passed electoral reform but never did, and they were using gerrymandering for a long time to top off their majorities.[12] (Although never to the extent that Republicans have. Computers allow for more powerful maps to be drawn now.)

Polarization has risen between the solidly conservative rural regions and the urban Democratic strongholds.

Amendment 1[edit]

He was a good mayor of Charlotte. But the power went to his head.[13] Remember, McCrory signed HB2 without even reading it; that's how badly he wanted to get revenge on Charlotte and its elected officials.[14][15][16]

In May 2012, North Carolina passed Amendment 1 61-39, banning same-sex marriage.[17] This was overturned on October 10, 2014, when a federal court decision found the state's denial of marriage rights to same-sex couples unconstitutional. [18]


As North Carolina is temporally locked,[note 2] history regularly repeats itself there. Despite the defeat of Amendment 1, on the 23rd of March 2016, the North Carolina State Legislature signed House Bill 2 (HB2, which sounds like a cheezy designer drug), in response to the Charlotte City Council's so-called "bathroom bill", which allowed transgender individuals to use the bathroom of their gender. HB2, which prohibits any individual using a bathroom which does not match their designated sex at birth, municipal minimum-wage changes, and (best of all) filing discrimination lawsuits in state court. This is a significant blow for the proletariat as well as to the trans and intersex community in the area. Even the privilieged cis scum who voted for it are feeling it, as now you apparently have to significantly LOOK like your gender to avoid discrimination:

Linda Hovensky, a 54-year-old resident of Charlotte, was tased multiple times by police officers as she was forced outside of the ladies['] washroom with her pants down and in front of a large crowd.[19]

Many people, corporate/social media entities and music industry puppets have taken up a boycott of the state, costing NC significant revenue as a result. HB2 has even provoked the wrath of—*gasp*—Beyoncé.[20] Shit just got real.

As with Amendment 1, US DOJ notified NC that HB2 is unconstitutional, rendering it unenforceable, and gave the state legislature five days to respond (a very generous amount of time considering they passed this call for cruel and unusual punishment in less than 10 hours). Then the Republican House Speaker, Tim Moore, of the NC General Assembly, effectively told the DOJ where to shove it.[21][note 3] Cue Donald Trump inviting Tim Moore to his next rally.

And then the DOJ sued.[22]

"Right to hunt"[edit]

In a 2018 constitutional referendum, the state also decided that laws protecting endangered species or ecosystems aren't a valid reason not to let people shoot whatever they want. Yee haw!

Famous exports[edit]

(Some of these are not like the others.)


  • The Somewhat Less Racist, Slightly More Transphobic, Carolina.
  • If the Gerry-Mander Cartoon From 200 years Ago Was A State.


  1. They're apparently up to 46th now, but that's really just splitting hairs.
  2. stuck in the past
  3. Looks like Unbreakable Kimmy D found her fifth husband.


  1. Reynolds, Andrew, "North Carolina is no longer classified as a democracy", Charlotte News & Observer (updated 31 December 2016, 9:45 AM).
  2. Bonner, Lynn,"North Carolina to privatize Medicaid", New Observer (Updated 18 September 2015, 1:14 PM).
  3. North Carolina constitution See article VI section 8.
  4. Councilman under fire for atheism
  5. Critics of Cecil Bothwell cite N.C. bar to atheists
  6. Mayer, Jane, "State for Sale", New Yorker October 10, 2011 issue.
  7. Bennett, Abbie, "41 percent of NC towns are declining in population. The worst are in the northeast.", News & Observer (Updated 6 July 2017, 11:06 AM).
  8. Roers, Kevin J., "North Carolina’s unemployment experiment is a failure", Charlotte Observer (updated 25 February 2016, 11:39 AM).
  9. Olheiser, Abby, "North Carolina's Anti-Sharia Bill Is Now Also Anti-Abortion", Atlantic 2 July 2013.
  10. "Letter to the Editor: Art Pope's racist history with UNC", Daily Tar Heel (1 October 2017, 11:26PM).
  11. Graham, David A., "Court Strikes Down GOP Attempt to Control Elections Board", Slate (26 January 2018, 6:27 PM). There go them activist judges again.
  12. Greenhouse, Linda, "Justices Permit Race as a Factor in Redistricting", NYT 19 April 2001.
  13. Spanberg, Erik, "Liberal group has yet to hurt McCrory's popularity", Charlotte Business Journal (updated 12 Mar 2015, 3:16pm).
  14. Morrill, Jill, "Pat McCrory campaign targets Charlotte Mayor Jennifer Roberts over HB2", Charlotte Observer (Updated 26 April 2016, 7:05 PM).
  15. Harrison, Steve, "After comment to Gov. McCrory, Reid’s cook fired", Charlotte Observer (Updated 17 February 2014, 6:04 PM).
  16. Rothacker, Rick, "Two days after signing HB2, Gov. McCrory was still receiving information on the bill", The News & Observer (22 November 2016, 09:29 PM).
  17. Huffington post Amendment One, North Carolina Gay Marriage Ban, Passes Vote