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The apex of Moronia
H.L. Mencken[1]
Arkansas is in the midrange region between big hat Texas and banjo playing Tennessee.
Freakin' diamonds! I din't know dey had diamonds!
"Tha's why we's pro-racist, right Jimbo?"
Yes, this place actually exists.

Arkansas makes no damn sense. Why would a state be named after another state, by appending a prefix no one understands? And then pronouncing it according to no known rules of any existing Human language?

Its biggest city is called "little".

The US state of Arkansas is part of the Bible Belt, and has its fair share of unpleasant laws, events and people to go with that. This is where the Little Rock Nine tried to go to school, and only succeeded after Dwight Eisenhower intervened militarily.

It is also the place where Wal-Mart began in 1972. FedEx, founded the previous year, moved out to Tennessee, where airport officials actually wanted to assist a new business, rather than obstruct it. D'Oh!

Arkansas is one of the poorest states; one quarter of children in Arkansas live in poverty.[2][3] Harrison, Arkansas is the home of the national headquarters of the Ku Klux Klan (technically the fascist pigs have their compound in the former mining town of Zinc, but the KKKult's mail dump is in Harrison) and has been dubbed as "the most racist town in America".[4]

On the other hand, in 2014 Arkansas became the first state in the Southeast C̶o̶n̶f̶e̶d̶e̶r̶a̶c̶y̶ to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples.[5]

Oklahomans, however, throng there in droves, or drive there in thongs, to enjoy the beautiful, scenic tourist attractions. However, two state governors in the last twenty years have fled the state to seek asylum in Washington, DC, so maybe they know something the Okies don't.

And what the heck is "Texarkana?" Seriously, do you ever hear people talk about "Verhampachusetts" or "Calorevada?" (On the plus side, when the people in Atlanta are thirsty, they can always send someone there to pick up the beer.)

A former blue state that voted for its former governor Bill Clinton twice, Arkansas is now moving away from the Democratic party faster seemingly by the day. Starting in 2000, when Al Gore lost the state by "only" five points, in just sixteen years it voted for Donald Trump by almost 30 percentage points. It is one of the only states (possibly the only one) where long-term demographic trends are working in Republicans' favor: the state's population has become increasingly white and conservative in recent years.[6]

One theory holds that Arkansas was formed by rebel pirates (possibly Pastafarians) from Kansas. The original name being: the Republic of Arrrr'Kansas.

The Senate of Arkansas found it necessary to legislate the possessive apostrophe in 2007[7] (it did at least select a grammatically correct form, Arkansas's — not something stupid like Arkansa's or Arkansas with no apostrophe). They also passed a law that states that the Arkansas River can rise no higher than the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.[8][9] If the water rises, it's unclear whether the river will be fined or imprisoned, or whether they'll have to build a higher bridge to stay within the law.

Bill Clinton was born in Hope, Arkansas. He went on to become Governor of Arkansas, and later President of the U.S., after having not had sexual relations with many of the state's women. Depending on what the meaning of "is" is, that is.

In 1971, Frederick W. Smith founded a logistics services company in Little Rock, Arkansas, but had to move to Memphis, Tennessee two years later due to a lack of support from officials at Little Rock National Airport and their refusal to provide facilities for him.[10] That company is now known as FedEx Corporation. D'oh!

Little Rock, Arkansas is the number one consumer of Velveeta cheese in the world (per capita).[11] We're...not quite sure what to say to that one.

Famous Arkansasans (Arkansawyers? Arkansasians? Kansans of the Ark?)[edit]

Less famous ones[edit]

Stopped clock[edit]

Arkansas has recognized a third gender option for driver's licenses since 2010, seven years before Oregon, the next state to allow them.[12]


See also[edit]

External links[edit]

Them thar references fur awl yew callege boys[edit]