Michelle Malkin

She can't be racist because she is her own Asian friend.

Parroting squawkbox Pundits

And a dirty dozen more

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“”The right-wing solution is not to lie down, but to win over more converts, find new ways to disseminate our news and views, and turn up the heat. I’ve been doing it for 25-plus years and have no intention on cooling off, giving in or shutting up.

—Malkin, the endless horror

Michelle Malkin (1970–) is a particularly vile far-right US political pundit. And to merit the qualification "particularly vile" in the august company of Rush Limbaugh and Michael Savage is truly awe-inspiring.

She stands out for openly defending Japanese American internment during World War II, and implied that Muslim civilians should be similarly locked up for the duration of the War on Terror (so basically until the Republican Party unanimously decides that Muslims are okay). She's also a proponent of torture, and demonizes her opponents at almost every opportunity, often for no particular reason.

Being a woman, she's usually the go-to alternative to Ann Coulter. Being the daughter of Asian parents, (i.e., not white), she's often used to shield American conservative punditry from accusations of racism (regardless of the ironic fact that Malkin's a flaming racist herself).

Not surprisingly, Malkin is a regular contributor on Fox News. She was a guest host on The O'Reilly Factor.

Her rhetoric is so bad that Andrew Sullivan made up the Malkin Award for the most intemperate, hateful remarks of the year. (Both she and Coulter are ineligible for the award, to give others a chance at winning.)

Malkin's Greatest Hits

Malkin has a history of bizarre, vile behavior. A full list would run to book length. Here are some of the more notorious incidents, in chronological order:

Malkin versus Matthews

Malkin's rise started during the run-up to the 2004 Presidential Election. At the time, she still had a habit of saying obscene things, but she couched them in such a way that she had plausible deniability. The first challenge to this tactic came from professional screamer Chris Matthews. On Hardball, Malkin raised allegations that John Kerry had deliberately wounded himself to earn a purple heart. However, she couldn't quite bring herself to say that she believed that, only that allegations were being made (well, allegations from Malkin, at least). The results were a bit embarrassing for Malkin, to say the least.

Malkin defends Japanese internment

See the main article on this topic: In Defense of Internment: The Case for "Racial Profiling" in World War II and the War on Terror

In 2004, Malkin released a book defending Japanese internment during World War II (something that had been ordered by Franklin D. Roosevelt). Apparently, she didn't like the fact that Japanese internment was brought up by those opposing racial profiling of terr'ists Muslims, so she decided to write a negationist history of Japanese internment. In fact, it was not racist. Nothing to do with racism, nothing at all. The book is especially ironic considering that the leading conservative Republican during World War II was opposed to Japanese American Internment. Perhaps her Filipino parents brought her up with some resentment of the Japanese for their occupation of the country during WWII?

Malkin and the Sinister Crescent!

In 2005, Malkin took a pre-eminent role in an astoundingly dumb controversy regarding a proposed memorial for Flight 93. Dubbed "Crescent of Embrace," it consisted primarily of a stand of trees partially surrounding the crash site. The design was selected by a panel composed of design experts and victims' family members, and it was announced on September 7.

Shortly after the announcement, a group of Internet obsessives—Malkin among them—came to the conclusion that the Memorial was actually a covert memorial to the terrorists. Why? Because it's a big red crescent, a historic symbol of Islam! With such clear facts, all Malkin had to overcome were the families, all of whom were sure the claims were utter bunk. Of course, Malkin is not one to let something as petty as the stated desires of the grieving get in her way.

The dreaded crescent was not a particularly long-term campaign, for Malkin or anyone else. Today, the only ones who want to talk about it are the mentally unstable sons of renowned political theorists.

Malkin invokes death threats

In 2006, Malkin "reported" on opposition to military recruitment in UC Santa Cruz, specifically the actions of a few students calling themselves Students Against War. She included a copy of a press release which contained contact information for the three leaders. Subsequently, the three of them started receiving threatening phone calls and e-mails. In a rare act of "civility," Malkin took the contact information down.

The students were understandably upset. When Malkin heard of their complaints, she blamed them, then reposted their contact info. Subsequent requests were ignored, and the information remains on her site to this day.

Malkin stalks a child

In 2007, then-President Bush proposed cuts to SCHIP, an insurance program for lower-class families who are above the cutoff for Medicaid. The Democratic response included a statement by 12-year old Graeme Frost, a recipient of the program. The Frosts had been in a nasty car accident which left Graeme in a coma and his younger sister Gemma with brain damage. The costs for their treatment were covered by SCHIP. As Graeme said in the response: "If it weren't for SCHIP, I might not be here today … We got the help we needed because we had health insurance for us through the SCHIP program. But there are millions of kids out there who don’t have SCHIP, and they wouldn’t get the care that my sister and I did if they got hurt … I just hope the President will listen to my story and help other kids to be as lucky as me."

Enter Michelle Malkin. Spurred by the mad gibbering of the Freepers, Malkin launched a full-on harassment campaign "investigation" against the Frosts. She traveled to the Frosts' neighborhood, hoping to find evidence that they were all con artists. When grilling the neighbors failed to turn up any dirt, she tried snooping in their windows. She made hay out of the fact that she thought she saw granite countertops, an accusation which has been dumped down the memory hole but lives on as a meme to this day. Probably what would be the most laughable part of the whole incident, if it weren't such a twisted, dangerous display of lunacy, is that she actually had the audacity to claim that the Democrats had engaged in "child abuse" by putting Graeme in a place where Malkin could savage him.

Lest you still have doubts about Malkin's utter classlessness, she followed this up with an attack on an even younger SCHIP recipient.

...and no, we're not over yet. In 2010, Malkin decided to reprise her role as the huntress of children:

“”Marcelas Owens, an 11-year-old from Seattle, headlined a press conference with Senate Democratic leadership on Thursday, telling a packed room of reporters that he wanted the president and Congress to come together and pass health insurance reform. "I am here because of my mom," said Owens. "My mom was diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension in 2006. She missed so much work she lost her job. And when my mom lost her job, she lost her health care. And losing her health care ended up costing her her life..." ...At least one conservative columnist wants to throw cold water on the Marcelas Owens narrative. Michelle Malkin wrote in a column that Democrats are using Owens as a "human kiddie shield." And, reprising her role in a coordinated conservative assault on the family of 12-year-old Graeme Frost during the battle over children's health insurance in 2007, Malkin questioned whether a failure of personal responsibility is not to blame for the death of Owens's mother.

Malkin's Crusade against a Sinister Scarf!

In 2008, Malkin looked at an ad Rachael Ray did for Dunkin' Donuts and decided that the black-and-white paisley scarf she was wearing was a sly sign of support for the Palestinian Liberation Organization.

It is scientifically impossible to make that sound more ridiculous than it really is. Trust us, we tried.

Malkin defends a rapist

Malkin is a vocal defender of Daniel Holtzclaw (convicted in 2015 of raping multiple African-American women) and considers him a friend. Despite victim testimony and limited DNA evidence being presented at the trial, Malkin still appears to genuinely believe that Holtzclaw was the victim of anti-police railroading.

In 2019, in an apparent attempt to insinuate massive fraud in Oklahoma, Malkin found another convicted rapist to defend. Her motive in doing this was quite transparently to discredit the process through which Holtzclaw was convicted, as the suspect in question (Rayshun Mullins) had confessed. Twice.

ACORN conspiracies

Malkin has been one of the foremost proponents of ACORN conspiracy theories, or "Obamacorn" as she often calls it. She has written numerous columns accusing ACORN of everything from massive voter fraud to being a major player in causing the banking crisis so it could embezzle stimulus money. Compared to everything else she's done, Malkin is probably one of the few people who can make ACORN conspiracies sound sane in comparison.

Doxing Of People Who Protest

In 2006, four students at the University of California at Santa Cruz protested the appearance of military recruiters at an on-campus job fair. Malkin not only blogged about this incident, she went on to post the full names and phone numbers of these students on her blog for all to see, leading to them getting death threats.

More fun

Stance on immigration

Michelle follows the typical nationalist views on immigration: lock 'em up or kick 'em out. She is associated with the nativist website VDARE, who must be thrilled to have an actual minority on hand. She has a particular obsession with "anchor babies", children born to immigrants in the United States. She is adamant that the laws that allow foreign parents of American-born children to gain citizenship should be changed immediately. Ironically enough, Malkin's own parents were immigrants, on worker visas, from the Philippines. In other words, Michelle Malkin is an anchor baby, by her own definition. Uncle tommery of the highest order.

Global warming denial

Do you really think Malkin believes in science the lies of the enviro-nitwits and Al Gore? Don't bet on it.

Affirmative action

In a column following the US Supreme Court decision in Grutter v. Bollinger, Malkin complained about seeing "militant Asian activists joining other liberal minority students across the country in a Sumatran gibbon-like celebration ritual of chest-beating, fist-pumping and pro-affirmative action whooping calls" in the news. Yep, "gibbon-like....chest-beating" is totally not bigoted.

Drugs are bad, but crazy is good, m'kay

Interestingly, the only thing that will dissuade Malkin from associating with politicians that match identically with her views is whether or not they engage in crack use.

On the other hand, Malkin has long supported legalizing marijuana. She even blasted the war on drugs as a costly failure and an "inhumane sacrifice to personal liberty."

Twitchy

In 2012, Malkin founded Twitchy, an aggregation website for Twitter posts relating to current news about politics and entertainment. Ultimately, the site is mostly nutpicking of Twitter posts intending to make liberals look stupid, rather than making serious arguments. The content is catnip for the audience, as the comments section is full of the predictable, juvenile insults like "libtard" as well as tired PRATT memes. Many "headlines" on Twitchy are coincidentally posts of her own tweets, written as a third-person is covering them e.g. "Try ‘systemic assassinations’: Michelle Malkin fixes Obama’s statement after the Chattanooga attack"and "‘Tone’ problem?' Michelle Malkin let Planned Parenthood’s Cecile Richards HAVE IT with gruesome truth" written by "Twitchy Staff" of which she happens to be a member, apparently using her site as the most obvious sockpuppet imaginable.

VDare

Malkin writes for white nationalist online "news" site VDare.

Capital punishment

Malkin is opposed to the death penalty. Seriously, her piece published on The Daily Wire sounds nothing like her usual vile views where she calls for systemic reform of the criminal justice system. Although she was once in favour of it, Malkin changed her opinion after seeing the numerous cases of prosecutorial misconduct leading to wrongful convictions in the USA.

Association with groypers

Beginning in 2002, Young America's Foundation had arranged Malkin to give lectures on college campuses. By 2019, YAF no longer included Malkin in its speaker lineup after Malkin defended neo-Nazi Nick Fuentes. Then in 2020, Malkin was a lead speaker at America First Political Action Conference, a competitor to the Conservative Political Action Conference. One video from her speech showed her "[engaging] in not just Holocaust denial, but also indiscriminately [throwing] around charges of dual loyalty".

Malkin's choice to die on this hill irrevocably blacklisted her from the conservative media scene. Eventually in 2022, she announced her retirement from writing her syndicated column. In her retirement announcement, she criticized conservative media for being "dominated by...libertarian elites" and ignoring "private Silicon Valley corporations and their nonprofit allies [that] crush nationalist dissent, handcuff free speech and deplatform free thinkers" and complained about the consequences of her viewpoints: "Because of my peacefully expressed reporting, opinions and speeches, my family has been punished and stigmatized, my reputation tarnished and my voice squelched."

See also

• Poe's Law
• Candace Owens — another shifty grifty minority pundit with far-right political views