Google

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This is their logo most of the time. Google likes to doodle on it.

This is the 'old logo'.

This is teh very old logo. The designer was colorblind.

This was the "snazzy" logo that everyone hated and tries to forget.

This is the logo Google used in the stone age. Note how it has been flattened by a wooly mammoth.

Mind your own Business

"You're fired!"

Due diligence Microsoft Whole Foods Market Dick Cheney Tom Monaghan Paul LePage Jack Abramoff John McAfee Donald Rumsfeld Kevin Stitt Nintendo Cloudflare v - t - e

Were you looking for an ethical corporation? Keep searching.

“”Google policy is to get right up to the creepy line but not cross it.

—Eric Schmidt, CEO

“”Don't be evil.

Google is a multinational CIA front public adware trojan corporation based in Mountain View, California. They are primarily known for their search engine, which is actually a massive data mining project that J. Edgar Hoover would've admired. They purchased YouTube even though they knew beforehand that YouTube was based on rampant piracy. Their cartographic project, Google Maps, has helped conspiracy theorists find yet more weird things that prove the Illuminati really rule Earth.

Google likes to play "goody two-shoes" and adopted the motto, "Don't be evil". However, as scandals mounted, it became evident that Google really wasn't morally neutral, and the motto was dropped.

Google is your best, creepiest friend 😀

In capitalism, Google watches you.

Google is widely known to track user behavior online, mostly for targeted advertising purposes. Google scans their users' emails, search history, browser history and other online sources to form an impression of each user's preferences, basic demographic interests, and interests to make targeted advertisements. Though this may sound a little creepy, it's hardly the worst that can be said about Google's privacy. Despite information of Google being a fucking creep publicly available, people are simply ignorant of just how creepy Google can be, and still use its services.

• In one notable situation, an ex-Google employee allegedly spied on minors' mail, chats, voice calls, etc. — presumably with one hand — twice! Google denies that spying occurred yet fires the employees for breaking internal privacy policies — it makes as much sense as it sounds.
• Remember how we said Google collects your data? Well Google owns Google the search engine, YouTube, and Google+ and created Android phones, Google Glass, and Chromebooks giving it multiple platforms to spy on users and use that data to get money for personal advertisements.
• Google admitted that their street-view cars collected Wi-Fi network data for three years. It was dismissed as a bug because who knew that a bug could result in an entire new feature being implemented. Lawyers didn't buy that and filed lawsuits; however, Google claimed that they did nothing wrong because it's "lawful to use packet-sniffing tools readily available on the internet". Was it a bug or did you download packet-sniffing tools? We're trying to follow you here, Google!
• Google can recognize if there's a face in your contact photo and will ask you to have your face in it if it's not present.^{[citation needed]}
• Google has the feature to track your every location and stores all of your searches, and contact information — and of course, Google has all these enabled by default juuuuust for you.
• In 2013, Margaret Hodge MP accused Google of aggressive tax avoidance.

Google is hardly the only one

The unfortunate thing is that Google is not alone in this regard. Companies that provide free services necessarily monetize on users' data in some regard, if only to justify to their investors why the company is engaging in this rampant communism philanthropic service. Google is just one of the many companies — like Facebook, Yahoo, and especially Bing (Microsoft) — that does this.

Project MSSNG and eugenics

Google is teaming with the hate group Autism Speaks in their pursuit to analyze the genomes of autistic people.

Hypocrisy

Google has been duplicitous with regard to climate change:… "Google employees and the company's political action committee give $699,195 since 2008 to members of the 'climate denier caucus'", while at the same time publicly opposing climate change denial — expect to see contradictions like this a lot.

Enabling fake news

In 2017, Google tacitly acknowledged that they had been responsible for propagating fake news in their Google News platform. They did this by creating a permanent "Fact Check" section, as well as incrementally getting better at weeding out fake news. As of 2017, the main sources for fact checking were: BBC, FactCheck.org, Gossip Cop, PolitiFact, Snopes, and The Washington Post.

Google, along with Facebook and Twitter, was responsible for propagating Russian disinformation, and consequently Russian influence on the 2016 U.S. presidential election. Google has struggled over the years with spammers, content farms and search engine optimization experts trying to beat the Google ranking algorithm. Google's latest struggle is against what they call "evil unicorns", referring to unverified, deceitful posts on obscure topics, including breaking news stories that do not yet have much verified information.

Censorship

See the main article on this topic: Censorship

Google has some universal no-nos:

• Leaked celebrity nude pictures.
• Illegal drug stores. Yes, these exist on the clearnet and not just the "dark web".
• Child pornography
• Beastiality
• Necrophilia

Search suggestions

• The following terms are not autocompleted:
  • Bittorrent
  • Torrent
  • Utorrent
  • Megaupload
  • Rapidshare

• "Islam is" didn't provide any search suggestions. This was later removed due to being a "bug".

Google now filters so many words from its autocomplete that it fills a dictionary, needless to say anything even vaguely offensive or divisive is more likely to be filtered.

English blacklist

As of 2012, these words were filtered out (the capital letter indicates where the blacklist kicks in)":

• [X] are
  • The blacklist does kick in when [X] is: Jews, Christians, Catholics, born-again Christians, evangelical Christians, atheists, Muslims, blacks, whites, Italians, Mexicans, Chinese, Japanese, Germans, Arabs, French, Buddhists
  • The blacklist does NOT kick in when [X] is: terrorists, Scientologists, agnostics, Seventh Day Adventists, Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons, Protestants, evangelists, Pentecostalists, Colombians, Panamanians, Iranians, Iraqis, Koreans, Persians, Turks
• aryaN (gosh, Google, it's not just a racist movement)
• babeS (clearly a reference to the 1961 film classic, "Babes in Toyland")
• bi cUrious (the gay agenda strikes again!)
• bisexual
• dick[SPACE] (and yes, real people get blacklisted)
• futaNari (the Japanese term for hermaphrodite, though "hermaphrodite" and even "futas" aren't blacklisted)
• [X] is evil (notably, this includes "Hitler is evil", which basically means the only suggestion you get after typing "Hitler is" is "Hitler is god") Google noticed this and now the first result is "Hitler is Kaput".
• hate[SPACE]
• hookeR (for some reason, "prostitute" and "whore" are just fine, though)
• how to murdeR
• lemon paRty (but not lemonparty)
• lesBian
• mastUrbate
• masterbate (for those who suck at spelling)
• neonaZi (but not "Nazi" or 'fascist" or "Ku Klux Klan")
• r@yGold (this is actually a pedophile code word)
• rimjOb (hey, some people just really like their cars)
• s&M (but not "s and m")
• smells like teEn spirit (someone at Google doesn't like Nirvana)
• squirT
• sucK (but not "blow")
• teeNage (as in, "mutant ninja turtles")
• viviD (Probably because of Vivid Video. Way to ruin the word, guys.)
• white PowEr (but not "black power")

But these are okay:

• fag
• goat.se
• how to commit genocide
• how to commit suicide
• how to torture
• necrophilia
• Trisexual
• oral sex
• wigger

Content

• Safesearch filters out sexual content, though this can easily be turned off in certain countries.
• Other countries, such as the USA, UK, and Australia, still filter out adult content even when turned off; however, adult content can be found with more specific searches.

Australia

• Encyclopedia Dramatica was blacklisted because of racial humor. However, after the domain change, it is not anymore.
• Results for rightful criticisms of Universal Medicine were blacklisted. The facility is an alternative medicine hospital that Google ignorantly defended. In another case, criticisms of the criminal Mick Featherstone were also filtered.
• Sites that linked to Datalink's website, a company that allegedly stole hardware.

China

• Google has been widely criticized for cooperating with China's authoritarian regime by blocking certain sites from searches conducted in that country, though have since suspended all cooperation with the Chinese government and subsequently suspended all operations there.

Sweden

• "ogooglebar" (Swedish for "ungoogleable") is blacklisted to avoid legal issues.

United Kingdom

• The website Inquisition 21st Century is filtered.

United States

• Copyrighted material is filtered out from DMCAs. thanks to the Digital Millennium Copyright Act.
• Canadian online pharmacy ads.

Google Maps

Google Maps and another product, Google Earth, offer incredibly detailed aerial, satellite, and ground-based photographic imagery of almost the entire planet (as well as Mars and elsewhere). Many people have spent a lot of time studying these images looking for strange and unusual things, or more sinisterly for evidence supporting conspiracy theories. People claim to have found a wide range of things, including UFOs, alien artifacts, secret holes leading to the hollow earth, and much more.

In most cases, the explanation is simple. Some are caused by image processing artifacts, due to stitching together images taken from slightly different viewpoints at slightly different times. Others have innocent explanations, such as shadows or clouds. Some are images of cool or interesting buildings and structures, but none of these have yet been proven to be of alien origin. One apparent sighting of a flying saucer turned out to be a watermark on an image. Images of underwater streets claimed to be the ruins of Atlantis turned out to be digital artifacts from image processing. There was apparently another debate over whether mysterious marks on airbases in the UK were landing pads for UFOs, or markings for learner motorcyclists to practice manoeuvring around.

It's also great for spotting FEMA concentration camps. It also nearly caused a border war between Nicaragua and Costa Rica by showing their border a few miles south of where it should be.

Monopoly

In 2023, Google was sued for alleged anti-trust (monopoly) violations. During the 2024 trial, the judge in the case found that Google had destroyed evidence; evidence was also presented that several Google employees on different occasions intentionally turned off chat history during what were relevant discussions with legal implications. Both of these types of actions would seem to be consciousness of guilt.

Trivia

• Google-1 is the supreme overmind of the third planet of the Sol system in the prime universe. Fortunately for its users servants, it is inextricably bound by a subset of the Laws of Robotics, preventing a repeat of the Skynet incident on Earth-five.
• President Dubya proudly announced that he uses "The Google". In contrast, Senator McCain (R-AZ) reminded us that the proper term is "A Google".
• It has been pointed out by IT folk the world around, if you google "Google", you will break *the Google*.
• According to the always highly-reliable Alex Jones, the Google is a project hijacked initiated by the NSA CIA to spy on you to suppress labor organizing and activism for the New World Order to get closer to its final stages, and ultimately make way for Project Blue Beam. The proof can be found here.

Not to be confused with

• Googol, a number represented by 10¹⁰⁰, or 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
• Googledämmerung wants to mean the moment of singularity when anything and everything that exists has been indexed by Google, creating some kind of nexus of infinite information. Or it just gets sick of us and blows us up.

See also

For those of you in the mood, RationalWiki has a fun article about Argumentum ad Google ranking.

• SEO
• Facebook
• Twitter
• Wikipedia
• GoodGopher
• Google's Ideological Echo Chamber
• USA PATRIOT Act
• George Orwell and Big Brother
• The Church of Google
• Category:Google News Fact Check

External links

• Google.com
• Scroogle SSL encrypted Google search - not authorized by Google, but good to use if you think your employer or ISP are tracking your search terms