European Union

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“”[W]e must remember that it is culture, not war, that cements our [European] identity. The French, the Italians, the Germans, the Spanish and the English have spent centuries killing each other. Today, we've been at peace for 70 years and no one realises how amazing that is any more. Indeed, the very idea of a war between Spain and France, or Italy and Germany, provokes hilarity.

—Umberto Eco

The European Union (EU) is a political and economic union of 27 European countries. It is primarily an economic union aiming to harmonize financial and commercial activities between its member countries. The power of the EU and the European Commission is often exaggerated by Eurosceptic journals, though some of its components – such as the European Central Bank (ECB) – wield enormous influence over Europe.

The most important dimension of the European Union, at least historically, is the Common Agricultural Policy, where the organization wields the most power. Farmers have to follow EU regulations to get subsidies, which mostly supplement or replace national subsidies. The powers of the EU have been steadily expanded over the decades, with the goal being the "four freedoms": freedom of movement of goods, people, services and capital within the EU. Free movement of goods and services requires a customs union, but the EU is not limited to just that: the Single Market attempts to uniformize trade standards. Free movement of people means that EU countries ordinarily won't require border checks for workers or residents from other member countries: citizens of the EU can just walk in and start working in another country within the EU. Finally, the Eurozone and the Single Euro Payments Area allow the transfer of money across borders in a single currency: the Euro. While these freedoms are useful, they also mean that significant political power is handed over to the governing institutions of the EU. Politically, the powers of the EU can be an emotional and divisive topic. Support of the EU is called pro-Europeanism or pro-European Unionism, while opposition to it is called Euroscepticism or Anti-Euro nationalism. Besides rational arguments and concerns, discussions about the EU attracts all sorts of conspiracy theorists, racists, anti-refugee bigots and generally extremists of all types to hate the EU and its humanitarian project.

How many supranational European organizations are there anyway?

Supranational organizations of Europe

Organizations	Overlap between them
Council of Europe	In case you aren't confused enough already. (Psst...)
Union State
Monetary agreement with the EU
Central European Free Trade Agreement (CEFTA)
Organization for Democracy and Economic Development (GUAM)
Common Travel Area (CTA)
European Union (EU)
EU Customs Union
Organization of the Black Sea Economic Cooperation (BSEC)
Schengen Area
European Economic Area (EEA)
Eurozone
European Free Trade Association (EFTA)
Benelux
Baltic Assembly
Nordic Council
Visegrad Group (V4)

Although there are many organizations, not all of them are equally important. For example, the benefits of joining the Nordic Council mostly overlap with the benefits of joining the Schengen Area and the European Economic Area. Chances are that you'll never run into an issue regulated strictly by the Nordic Council only, even if you live in the Nordic countries. The most important ones for travellers are the Schengen Area, the Eurozone and the European Economic Area, as these have a common external border, a common currency and a common labor market with free movement, respectively. None of them exactly coincide with the European Union itself.

A "short" history

The EU has its own jargon and EU issues can be fairly difficult to understand. The EU is more than just another intergovernmental organization, but it is still composed of sovereign states and is not a federation. All power the EU has derives from the sovereign power of the member states.

Formation and many abbreviations (c. 1950–1983)

After the Second World War ended, European opinions on post-war relations with West Germany were divided. (East Germany was occupied by the Soviets.) Some, especially right-wingers, strongly believed Germany should be kept weak, underpopulated and divided, with its war resources under Allied control, or another war would be inevitable. Others, mainly pussy liberals,^{[citation NOT needed]} feared such harsh treatment would only repeat the string of events after the Versailles Treaty in 1919, and argued that the Germans should be treated as an equal and should slowly be re-accepted into the post-war order. As much as the French hated the Germans, they did not want to rely solely on the US and NATO for protection from the USSR in case of WWIII.

In 1950 Robert Schuman, then the French foreign minister, drafted a plan which would found a 'European Coal and Steel Community' (ECSC). This organisation was created as an essential compromise between France occupying key coal-littered areas in Western Germany (as they essentially did after World War 1), but rather, allowing for Coal to be accessed more politely. France was desperate for coal after the economic humiliation of the '40s, as the resource is essentially what powers the French steel industry (without coal you can't get steel). However, being French, Schuman and Co. essentially used the proposal of a ESCSC as a last resort, and weren't prepared for it to even pass. Basically, the idea of the European Coal and Steel Community was that France, West Germany, and any other possible members would 'outsource' the management of coal and steel, the classic war resources, to a trans-national authority. Since the German-French rivalry had been the axis of both World Wars, Schuman and his supporters believed the ECSC would guarantee peace for generations to come. The ECSC was founded in 1951, with West Germany, France, the Low Countries, and Italy as founding members, and is generally seen as the first step towards the modern European Union.

As the bureaucracy kept expanding to meet the needs of the expanding bureaucracy, another treaty was signed in Rome in 1957. This founded the so-called 'European Economic Community', which was essentially a big brother of the ECSC; it created a regular exchange and coordination of, amongst others, agriculture policy and infrastructure construction. Another agency (EURATOM) was founded to coordinate nuclear energy and weaponry, and civil servants all over Europe rejoiced over these exciting new job oppurtunities. The Treaty of Brussels in 1967 combined all these agencies under the authority of the so called 'European Communities' (EC). It is important to note that this organisation was very different from the modern European Union, and more a shouting match discussion room for international cooperation then a truly 'trans-nationonal' authority. The Communities stumbled on in their alphabet soup for the next twenty years, with varying degrees of success and without attracting much attention from your average European.

Making of one 'Community' under the Delors Comission (1985–1993)

In the late ’80s and early ‘90s the European Communities embarked on a trail towards ‘European integration’, which has been the magic word in Brussels for a long time. A key figure in this process was Jacques Delors, President of the European Commission from 1985 until 1994, the longest serving Commission President in EC history. Delors was an unusually strong President and through a combination of bravura and a large network of associates he had more power over the European Communities than any President since Hallstein; the European Commission as an institution also gained considerably in political power, especially since the foundation of the European Political Cooperation in 1987, which was an important step towards common security policy. Delors' lengthy ‘rule’ oversaw the Schengen treaty signed in 1985, the Single European Act in 1986/87 and the pivotal Maastricht Treaty. Together these treaties opened up inter-European borders, established a single market, decided on founding a common currency and combined all the different E-abbreviations into one central organisation, the European Community (EC) (in contrast to the European Communities). This basically turned the loose structure of the European Communities into something resembling the modern European Union, which is why Delors is often revered as a hero by EU federalists and enthusiasts and hated as a dismal enigma by Eurosceptics.

From Maastricht to Lisbon, some sightseeing in Amsterdam (1993–2009)

The European Community that Delors left after his retirement in 1993 was a very different organisation from the European Communities he had helped found in 1985, with more power and more responsibilities. Its leaders were often outspokenly federalist and openly encouraged other countries to join, if they obeyed the norms that the Maastricht Treaty subjected every EC member to, like, you know, honest reporting of the state's income, a inflation rate below a certain fixed rate, and fighting corruption. Luckily, these Maastricht-rules were only obeyed when states felt like it. It is a public secret that the Commissions since Delors' have been too easy on countries wishing to join the EC, but it is good to know that when the German deficit rose higher than the treaty allowed in the early 2000's, they really didn't give a damn about the Commission's complaints either. This is typical for EC/EU politicians; when other countries break a rule, everyone cries wolf, but when it's your own nation fucking up, well, we wouldn't want to be too harsh, would we?

The 1999 Amsterdam Treaty was a follow-up to the Maastricht Treaty of 1993, and vied to consolidate further the growing European Community. It gave the EC its first true supranational powers; the legislation of immigration law, civil law, and civil procedure on a European level, while also establishing a permanent European Court of Justice. The European Parliament, which had hitherto been a discussion club for ex-politicians with limited power but good pay, also gained a more active role in representation and legislation. Even though this was a step towards further integration, the Amsterdam Treaty still left a lot of questions unanswered about the function of the Community's institutions, the long term goals of EC, and the way it would handle the integration of new members. The 2005 'Constitution of the European Union' was supposed to tie all these loose ends up and would turn the European Community into a more tightly knit organisation with more clearly defined powers and responsibilities, but was rejected by referenda in the Netherlands and France that same year. The Constitution was a public relations disaster for the EC/EU. In some nations, proposed referenda were quickly postponed by leading politicians when polls on the subject turned out negatively. It confirmed the popular image of 'Eurocrats' who push their European agenda regardless of what the people think. The European Constitution was modified into the 'Treaty of Lisbon' (ejecting words like 'constitution' and abandoning the 'European anthem'), which was subsequently accepted by parliaments throughout Europe in 2007 without another round of referenda.

Trouble comes to town (from 2009 onwards)

The financial crisis of 2008, the European sovereign debt crisis, and the ratification of the Lisbon treaty in 2009 have severely damaged the public image of the European Union and the latter half of the 00s have seen populist, anti-EU parties pop up all over Europe. This was evidenced by the 2014 European elections where UKIP and Front National finished first in their respective countries and the "five star movement" of Italian "comedian" Beppe Grillo also did respectably. In 2016, the United Kingdom voted for Brexit and officially left the EU on 31 January 2020.

Member countries

Austria (joined 1995) Belgium (founding member) Bulgaria (joined 2007) Croatia (joined 2013) Cyprus (joined 2004) Czechia (joined 2004) Denmark (joined 1973) Estonia (joined 2004) Finland (joined 1995) France (founding member)

Germany (founding member) Greece (joined 1981) (baaaaad idea.) Hungary (joined 2004) Ireland (joined 1973) Italy (founding member) Latvia (joined 2004) Lithuania (joined 2004) Luxembourg (founding member) Malta (joined 2004)

The Netherlands (founding member) Poland (joined 2004) Portugal (joined 1986) Romania (joined 2007) Slovakia (joined 2004) Slovenia (joined 2004) Spain (joined 1986) Sweden (joined 1995)

Potential future members

Official candidates

The following countries are recognised as candidate countries.

• Albania
• North Macedonia — it helped when the country renamed itself in order to not anger Greece, which controls South Macedonia. However, Bulgaria is still an issue for it.
• Montenegro
• Serbia — Serbia and Montenegro are seen as the closest to membership and the ones most likely to get in next.

Potential candidates

The following countries are recognised as pre-candidate countries.

• Bosnia and Herzegovina
• Kosovo

There are also three other nations that have said they would like to join the EU, and are forming "association agreements", which are seen as the first step to entry.

• Moldova
• Georgia (not the American state, the other one)
• Ukraine

Suspended candidates

• Turkey has been trying to get in for more than twenty years, but has been refused on every application. It seems that it may have some way to go before it meets all EU standards, particularly as it only barely meets the "being in Europe" one. However, despite being a member of the EU, Cyprus lies wholly outside Europe from a strict geographic perspective (although given that "Europe" is just a very big peninsula of Eurasia, this argument could go on forever). Turkey's current slow march towards Putinism under Recep Tayyip Erdoğan and the AK Party is also not well received by EU countries. The current Turkish occupation of North Cyprus poses another problem, as the EU prohibits prospective members from joining while occupying territory of another member. In 2019, candidate negotiations with Turkey were effectively suspended.

Other countries of note

Norway and Switzerland have both been invited but turned the offer down; meanwhile Morocco attempted to join the EU, but were also upset to be informed they weren't part of Europe. Iceland's government withdrew their application in 2015, and it appears they are no longer officially a candidate.

Despite its non-membership in the EU, Norway is displayed as part of the map of Europe on some modern euro coins, serving the vital purpose of making the rest of Scandinavia look less like a giant dong.

The euro

See the main article on this topic: Euro

European Parliament

The European Parliament is one of the main governing bodies of the European Union, alongside the Council of the European Union (often called the Council of Ministers) and the Commission. There are currently 705 seats, as of 2021. The European Parliament has traditionally had less power than other parts; it still cannot originate legislation though it has gained significant powers to review, amend, and veto actions of the other parts of the system. It is however directly elected, and while some countries' electorates seem to take the elections pretty seriously, in other countries the turnout is very low and the elected representatives a bunch of extremists and nutters: Ukip were the biggest party from the UK in the 2014 elections, while in 2014 Germany elected a member from die PARTEI, a joke-party which sought to rebuild the Berlin Wall and invade Liechtenstein.

The national parties elected to the parliament are encouraged to form trans-national alliances by the promise of EU money and places on EU committees. Some of these are boring and respectable, much like mainstream European Christian Democratic or Democratic Socialist parties, but others are a bit weird. The main groups are:

• European People's Party, Center-Right, Christian Democratic, Pro-EU. Since 1999, it has been the largest group in the European Parliament, currently with 186 seats. Members include Germany's CDU, Spain's PP, and Italy's Forza Italia.
• Progressive Alliance of Socialists and Democrats, Center-Left, Social Democratic, Pro-EU. Currently the second-largest group, with 145 seats. Members include Germany's SPD, Spain's PSOE, and France's Socialist Party.
• European Conservatives and Reformists, formed largely at the instigation of the British Conservative Party, it includes a variety of populists, nationalists, religious fundamentalists, and eurosceptics. These include the Dutch fundamentalist-Calvinist Reformed Political Party (SGP) who oppose feminism and seek to restore patriarchy and the death penalty; the Dutch conservative protestant Christian Union who are a bit less extreme than the SGP; the Polish populist and deeply Roman Catholic Law and Justice party; Slovak libertarians Freedom and Solidarity; the Latvian National Alliance which is an alliance of far-right and conservatives,the Swedish Sweden Democrats, the Dutch right-wing to far-right & Qanon believers Forum For Democracy, whose leader Thierry Baudet believes that Cultural Marxism is destroying Dutch culture and mostly Eastern Europeans. Alternative für Deutschland was formerly a member.
• Renew-Europe, Economically and Socially Liberal, generally classified as Centrist and Pro-EU. Currently the third-largest group, with 98 seats. Members include Germany's FDP, France's LREM, and Ireland's Fianna Fáil.
• European United Left-Nordic Green Left, a seriously left-wing socialist and communist group, including Die Linke from Germany and Sinn Fein from Ireland, as well as some left-wing environmentalists.
• Greens/European Free Alliance, a mix of Greens and separatists (Scottish, Basque, Catalan, etc).
• Identity and Democracy, formed in 2019 and is ENF's successor, extremely far-right, includes the French National Front, Austrian's Freedom Party, Italian Northern League, German anti-immigration party Alternative für Deutschland and the Dutch Party for Freedom (the successor organisation to anti-immigrant politician Geert Wilders).
• Non-Inscrits, a weird grouping of nationalists, communists, eurosceptics, and people kicked out of the other groups, who banded together purely to claim European money. Its members include the German far-right National Democratic Party of Germany, German satirical candidates Die PARTEI, Greek far-right group Golden Dawn, Greek far-left group Communist Party of Greece, Hungarian radical nationalists Jobbik, Italy's Five Star Movement, and The Slovakian Neo-Nazi party Kotleba .

Relationship with Great Britain

The EU has been popularly ridiculed in the United Kingdom (which was a member of the EU but not the eurozone, meaning the UK doesn't use the euro, and which voted to leave the EU in 2016) for its silly rules about square strawberries, straight bananas, and designating the carrot as a fruit, although most of these "rules" do not exist, or were exaggerated or misinterpreted by cranks. Basically, they're the UK's Canada. The UK is now out of the European Union entirely, so there's not much of a relationship left at all.

Challenges of the EU

The root problem of the EU is it is a confederation, and not a federation. A confederation is based on trickle-down authority. The ultimate power lies in the individual states. A federation means that the ultimate power lies in the hierarchy. Confederations tend to work well in good times. When things go bad, the individual members start to act selfish and block confederal solutions. It happened in the first American confederacy, and in the Confederate States of America. It happened in the Commonwealth of Independent States (CIS), the successor thing to the Soviet Union for a while. There is some debate about the what direction the EU should take in the future, with some looking for a "wider" association and some for a "deeper" one. These objectives are diametrically opposed to one another, since the wider the union becomes, the more difficult it is to achieve integration; and the deeper the union becomes, the more difficult it is for new members to join.

Some commentators have suggested that the 2015 humiliation of heavily-indebted eurozone member state, Greece, by its fellow European creditor countries – in which it was forced to accept a debilitating bailout agreement that even the IMF admits can't possibly work sustainably – could cause the downfall of the entire European project. This is probably a slight exaggeration, although there is a possible historical fork in the road ahead with French former President François Hollande proposed the creation of a literal European Superstate – calm down, Anglo Eurosceptics – it'll be for eurozone member states only. Such a development, implausible as it may seem now, would create an even more stark contrast between "inner Europe" (the eurozone with its own federal government) and "outer Europe" (everyone else in the EU), effectively creating a two-track Europe. Brexit could also hasten the impetus towards a "two-track" Europe (really three-track, if you include the European Free Trade Area, the countries which strangely opt to subscribe to all the EU regulations but have no say in them) - although it increasingly looks like the UK government is going for a "hard Brexit", i.e. leaving the EU totally. The EU seems to have the issues of forcing border crises onto the border members, meaning if they leave the Syrian border crisis will overall worsen (as everyone is too cowardly to accept anyone, and the Leader of the Free World is only taking in 10,000 out of FOUR MILLION REFUGEES), and putting its entire economic stability on France and Germany, meaning that if either country leaves, the EU's economy will plummet, which will in turn cause further economic collapse due to more members leaving, and so on and so forth.

Conspiracy theories

There are are numerous conspiracy theories which state that the European Union will impose the "New World Order" on Europe and create a "superstate".

The United States was a strong supporter of European integration in the early days of the Cold War. The French politician Jean Monnet, one of the early champions of European integration and the first president of the European Coal and Steel Community, has close ties with both Great Britain and the United States.

The European Union has however developed autonomously. The United States did not promote the creation of a common European currency, the euro, and this was in fact a Franco-German initiative. EU market regulation, competition rulings and anti-dumping decisions sometimes go against American corporate interests. As an example, the EU regulation virtually bans the cultivation of GMO crops in its territory.

The Antichrist

The seemingly-peaceful European Union will later become the dreadful Beast of the Apocalypse, that of the number 666! Among certain fundamentalists this is a common, though disputed, interpretation of Revelation. They claim the EU is the successor to the Roman Empire and the Fifth Empire prophesied by Daniel. There were, obviously, other empires between the Babylonians and Romans, and after the Romans, so there's no reason to assume that the Romans were the Fourth or the European Union is the Fifth. But alas, enjoy the fundie shoehorning.

Arsène Heitz, the draughtsman who mainly designed the European flag in 1955, told Lourdes magazine that his inspiration had been the reference in the Book of Revelation, the New Testament's final section, to "a woman clothed with the sun...and a crown of twelve stars on her head" (Revelation 12:1). Heitz was a devout Catholic.

See also

• Democratic peace theory
• European sovereign debt crisis
• Brexit

External links

• Don't be Rather Daft or an Insane Whopper.
• Putin may always be listening to you, but surprisingly, you may also be listening to Putin.