Bronze-level articleRepublican Party

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The Republican Party animal. Refusing to adapt to a more sustainable lifestyle to cope with global warming, and having faith that it doesn't exist, threatens the party's and humanity's existence.
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We oppose teaching of Higher order Thinking Skills [because they] have the purpose of challenging the student’s fixed beliefs and undermining parental control.
Texas GOP platform[1]

The Republican Party, a.k.a. the "Grand Old Party", is a (let's be honest) far-right political party in the United States, representing the white nationalists, the psychotically religious, and people who can afford six-figure bribes. Their slogan is "The party of Lincoln!", closely followed by "The South Will Rise Again!"

There's still no disputing that since the fall of the moderates after Watergate,[2] the boom of the tax protest movement, and the "Reagan Revolution", the GOP has moved to the right at a far greater pace than the Democrats have moved to the left. Voteview and its sister sites have the statistics to back this up going back decades. Speaking of statistics, Republicans lie three times more often than Democrats.[3]

The old style republicans (small 'r') have become radical leftists without even trying i.e. they're apparently trying to kill all white people because they think racism is bad.[4] Express any kind of socially-progressive idea and suddenly you've got your penis stuck in Karl Marx's beard. Some argue that moderate Republicans still exist, and are waiting for a suitable figure to lead them. If so, it is hard to tell them from the faux-rebels running around.


[edit] No good deed, et cetera

Didn't the South use to be Democratic?[5] The "Southern Strategy" is the short-form US History 101 exam answer to this question. Prior to the Civil Rights Act (CRA) of 1964, major Democrat bloc came in two flavors:

  1. Dixiecrats and some Republicans associated with the Abolitionist movement
  2. Northeastern reformer-types, who we would understand as the modern Democratic Party

From 1940 onward, the Northeastern branch grew dominant, adding a pro-civil rights plank to the party platform and reversing its segregationist nature. So suddenly, you have this big clump of disgruntled southerners who feel abandoned by their party (whom they've been supporting for abstract reasons), and a GOP eager to snap up those votes by campaigning against the Civil Rights Act.[6][7] Republicans have a very-comprehensive platform to get those voters out, but they obviously have a ceiling in terms of popular votes.

Interestingly, prior to (and shortly following) the CRA, many Democratic Parties in the South, while agreeing on segregation, differed greatly on economic issues. You had radical lefists like Huey Long and arch-conservatives like John Rarick under the same tent, even within the same state (in this case, Louisiana).[8] Also, there was a lot more diversity in primary elections. In Tennessee, for instance, Nashville tended to send more liberal Democrats to Congress (such as Estes KefauverWikipedia's W.svg) who more receptive to civil rights, while outlying rural areas supported Blue Dog Democrats. The problem for Democrats is that the white half of their coalition either switched to the GOP, moved away, or died—leaving the crusty, black civil rights leaders in charge. The end result is that party affiliation is overwhelmingly determined by race and locality.

The story of the last half-century (1968-2016) will be the tale of how the GOP systematically turned white working-class against from the Democrats. First it was the Southern Strategy with race, then the evangelical movement with abortion, and now it's blue-workers whites with nativist populism. Bringing the southern strategy up in a debate is pointless since they just dismiss it as darkie lies liberal propaganda.

[edit] Kinder, Küche, Kirche

See the main article on this topic: Pro-life
If Planned Parenthood wants to be involved in providing counseling services and HIV testing, they ought not be in the business of providing abortions. As long as they aspire to do that, I’ll be after them.
Mike "Deus Volt" Pence,[9] who thinks HIV is a useful deterrent[10]

Women make up just 9% of elected Republican members of Congress in 2016, which is down from 11% in 2006.[11]

This is the most hypocritical thing about "conservatism" in the U.S. If you want to reduce abortions, comprehensive sex education and birth control is the way to go. Also, addressing the social and economic factors, since those drive demand for abortion. Republicans have fought against all of these things, instead pushing "abstinence-only education" (which is a farce),[12][13] banning birth control, and ratfucking Planned Parenthood.[14] Don't forget their crusade to destroy the social safety net.[15] (And then these retrocrat clowns will bleed public education so that those kids go to garbage schools.) Abstinence-only and abortion restrictions are another example of the state forcing people to either come to Jesus or suffer.

[edit] Megalophobia

See the main article on this topic: Reaganism
The policies Republicans loathed were actually quite popular. So, to garner support for their attack on an activist government, they turned to a mythological narrative that drew on America’s long history of racism and sexism. They won voters not by convincing them of the merits of returning to a world in which businessmen ran the country, but rather by insisting that taxes redistributed wealth from hardworking white people to lazy minorities and feminists who wanted abortions on demand.
—Heather Cox Richardson, historian[16]

Republicans will say they want smaller government while insisting on abortion or marriage restrictions, a larger security state, and more spending on the military. In that respect, they are akin to the reactionary "conservatives" of Tsarist Russia.

[edit] Welfare for me but not for thee

Republicans justify certain policies by claiming they want smaller government, when really they just don't want money going to the wrong people. To put it another way, Republicans' last push to privatize Social Security and Medicare was one of the driving forces behind the 2006 midterms that flushed their majorities down the toilet. They'd be insane to go near that again, no matter how much the Boy Wonder from Wisconsin loves the idea.[17]

[edit] Thanks, Obama

A lot of us woke up every morning thinking about how to kick Obama, who could say the harshest thing about Obama on the air. We ended up where any hint of nuance or maturity just proved you were incapable of being the bull in the china shop that our voters wanted.
—Ed Rogers, Republican "mega-lobbyist"[18]

Half of Obama's policies were positions the Republicans loved, then suddenly hated as soon as Obama supported it. Obamacare is the obvious example, but Trump won by promising to spend $1 trillion on infrastructure.[19] The $770b infrastructure program Obama passed (with only 1 GOP representative voting yes) had $330b in tax breaks and credits,[20] and Republicans attacked him on that for the next 3 years.[21]

Although many laugh at how ridiculous the meme is,[22][23][24] Republicans are simply conditioning people to associate failure with Democrats. Every morning the headlines at Fox bleat about the awful things Democrats are doing. It works well in countries where education standards are low and freedom of thought is suppressed, and it worked to destroy Hillary Clinton's chances.[25] So, quite reasonably, the GOP thinks there's a few more drives in the old jalopy.[26][27]

[edit] Penis envy

Supporting dictators like Putin, Assad, and Kim Jong-un is an important part of being a small government conservative.[28][29][30] But Obama is the real tyrant for making us buy health insurance.

You may recall plenty of Republicans claiming that Obama wasn't strong enough in standing up to Russia during the Crimean incident and is a modern-day Neville Chamberlain.[31] But that's a criticism of Obama being weak, not a criticism of Putin being strong. Their stance for a while has been that Putin is a strong ethno-nationalist and someone to look up to. (They were so afraid of Obama becoming a dictator, then complained when he didn't act like one.)[32][33][34]

There is no endgame to US foreign policy anymore. They break bread with Russia, and goad China into economic/total war.[35] They bombed the middle east into oblivion. In South America the US is seen as worse than Nazis, and now they even hurl abuse at Europe.[36][37] A pivot East and having China as a strategic partner against Russia and USA is their only recourse.[38] He's looking at the possibility of a trade war with God knows how many countries, and as economies start to crumble, many will look to military solutions. There's a reason why shares in Lockheed-Martin, Raytheon, Boeing et al. went up 15% right after he secured the White House.[39]

Trump's views on NATO and the UN is the most dangerous thing about his presidency.[40] The US isn't paying all this money as a charity; it buys global influence. If the U.S. won't fill that role, somebody else will, and you might not like the result. Even when Trump is gone in 8 years or less, it will be too late to reverse the vacuum. Meanwhile Trump will let Russia do whatever they want, so long as Putin says nice things about him in the press and his debts to Russian creditors don't come due.[41] The word for this caper is treason.[42]

[edit] Live free or die

2016 shook everyone's faith that there's correlation between economic well-being and voting patterns. There's clearly a correlation between perception of well-being and voting patters, but that's a different thing.[43]

Republicans refused to do their jobs for 8 years; they were rewarded with all three branches of government. They didn't pay a price for shutting down the government, damaging the US credit rating with their debt limit stunts, the sequester, or refusing to pass any stimulative measures to help the economy. They certainly won't pay a price for raping the environment (a congressmanWikipedia's W.svg who gets a 92 rating from the American Conservative Union can be kicked out his district for acknowledging AGW). Flint happened because the city basically told the EPA to eat shit and mind its own business after the EPA said they needed to test the water quality.[44] Michigan was completely saved by Democrats and the Obama administration, and it voted for the party that wanted to let their main industry go bankrupt.[45] Tangible, local improvements in life don't matter in elections anymore.

[edit] Party of No

His insight was that the way you beat Obama is by grinding things to a halt, which would hurt the Democrats more because they were the party in the White House and the party of government, and because it would undermine Obama's whole comity shtick. Which paid off beyond McConnell's wildest dreams by now electing someone who fed off voter anger with Washington dysfunction.
—Alec MacGillis[46]

Since 9/11, the parties controlling Congress have gradually pushed the envelope of obstructionism. When one party does it, that sets the precedent for the other party to do it, and they usually go beyond the precedent. So over time, obstructionism in Congress just gets worse and worse. And due to gerrymandered Congressional districts, 90% of Congressmen are more worried about their primaries than their general elections. Obstructionism is rewarded, compromise punished.[47]

After 2000, the Bush-McCain wing of the party ballooned the national debt to its highest level in American history. Their successor, Barack Obama,(not a Republican) sought to clean up their mess by cutting the deficit by two-thirds. Since them, the GOP has done everything in its power to become known as the "Party of No".[48] Hence why they want to impeach anyone and everyone they disagree with. Just look at Obama and Hillary: They had a laundry list of "unconstitutional" or unlawful things the White House is doing, and every time the motion gets shot down they just move on to the next item.[49] It would not have been any different with Hillary; she would be constantly threatened with impeachment. It's really one of the few plays the Rs run.

Meanwhile, the American people have been told since Reagan's day that the federal government can't fix the problem, the federal government is the problem, so they don't mind that their Congress is deadlocked and obstructionist. What they don't see or understand is how this cedes power to the Executive Branch. More and more decisions are being made by the President or the many unelected bureaucrats working under him/her.[50]

[edit] Go home, Republicans, you're drunk

I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but I fear that at least since 2010 we've been witnessing a quiet, slow-motion coup d'etat whose purpose is to repeal every bit of progressive legislation since the New Deal and entrench the privileged positions of the wealthy and powerful — who haven't been as wealthy or as powerful since the Gilded Age of the late 19th century.
—Robert Reich[51]
The outside groups don’t always move votes directly but they create an atmosphere of fear among the members. And so many of these [groups] now live in the conservative world of talk radio and Tea Party conventions and Fox News invitations. And so the conservative strategy of the moment, no matter how unrealistic it might be, catches fire. The members begin to believe they can achieve things in divided government that most objective observers would believe is impossible.
—Robert Costa, National Review[52]

Republicans pander to the right in the presidential primaries, Democrats have to move to the middle. Why? One theory is that Republicans have too many groups in their tent, and end up talking out of both sides of their mouths to appease begrudging constituent groups. This leads them to spend political capital on VP picks just to keep segments of their base from staying home.

The problem with these big tent parties in a two-party system is that they are unstable. It's so difficult to bring people together, and hate for the other is often the glue which binds them into a single unit. The alt-right is the hidden "4th leg" of the GOP stool.[53][54][55][56] They make up as much as 20% of the party. If the GOP cuts off that leg, will the party be able to stand? Nobody really knows.

What we're seeing today started as far back as the Reagan Republicans. They woke up, fought, and then went back to sleep.[57] They rose up again in the nineties under Newt Gingrich and forced Bill Clinton to the center (he started out much farther to the left). Then they went back to sleep.[58][59] They rose up again in 2008, "because of Obama" as Dems like to say, but as always, it was a backlash not against Democrats but moderate Republicans. They aren't going to sleep this time.[60][61]

[edit] Trumpism

The so-called Christian Right, for one, just have a different agenda. And I think big business is worried about them: the C.E.O.s don't want that kind of fascism [...] these Newt Gingrich-types might go too far and start cutting down the parts of the state system that are welfare for them—which of course is totally unacceptable.
Noam Chomsky[62]
They said I wasn’t born here. They said climate change is a hoax. They said that I was going to take everybody’s guns away [...] Donald Trump didn’t start it. He just did what he always did, which is slap his name on it, take credit for it, and promote it. That’s what he does.
Barack Obama[63]

Tea Party politics has always been proto-Trumpism: It's never been about small government as it is about populism and disdain for the Washington cabal.[64] Trumpism is also less "free-market" and more explicitly crony capitalist.

The most logical place to mark the start of this particular "movement" is 2009, when the big money started moving to the Tea Party astroturf movement[65] and Obama was doggedly trying to reform health insurance. But in actuality, conservatives have become more uncompromising because campaign finance laws keep getting weaker over the last several decades. Bachmann, Huckabee, Cruz, Cotton, Jindal, Santorum, etc. have been around for a while and their anarchist beliefs have become the norm.[66][67][68] This is also a result of the the GOP using the culture wars as political fodder: This time, Baptist voters weren't going to "fall in line" and vote for Jeb! or Rubio, and the GOP can't win without them.[69]

The Democrats are disintegrating almost as fast as the GOP: their bases in Chicago, Seattle, and New York have finally turned on them, and the Bernie Sanders campaign was basically their worst nightmare.[70] (There's also questionable voting practices in some red states.) The Republicans sould to be euphoric, but are they in a similar rut: a large part of their base is to the right of their leadership. Unlike the Democrats, the Republicans have lost control of those people. The House/Congress has been a colossal disaster under GOP majority: They managed to get rid of their own Speaker because he wasn't conservative enough, and actually made deals with Democrats to force their own incumbents out.[71]

Republicans have recently rebranded themselves as a "worker's party" to deal with the shift toward automation and foreign labor.[72] It seems that the party lines are shifting to globalism vs. nationalism rather than just left vs. right; but with the Tea Party in congress and Trump's cabinet of vultures, people are going get more of the same.[73] "Trump Republicans" or "Ryan Republicans", whatever: both groups are about massive tax cuts for the rich that will, magically, pay for themselves by generating laughably-delusional economic growth rates.[74][75]

[edit] Ties to Mammon

Despite their claims of being in the service of God, in recent times the Republican Party has shown a belief in Mammon, the personification or deity of greed in the Bible. Some within the GOP try to mask Jesus as one of them, altering his teachings to serve their political platform. A prime example of this would be one idiot and his "bible." Others are more open with their agendas, such as Sen. Jim BunningWikipedia's W.svg.[76] Even some right-wing ministers encourage deceit.[77] The closest, thus far, of the GOP stating who they really pray to would be Glenn Beck encouraging his viewers to be greedy and leave their church if they talk about helping the poor (which he compared to Nazism).[78] And these people believe they deserve a place in heaven.

The early 2017 Republican decision to swiftly tie the hands of the Congressional Ethics Council[79] is assumed to have been done in preparation for as-of-yet untold mischief.[80]

[edit] Timeline

I see in the near future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble for the safety of my country; corporations have been enthroned, an era of corruption in High Places will follow, and the Money Power of the Country will endeavor to prolong its reign by working upon the prejudices of the People, until the wealth is aggregated in a few hands, and the Republic is destroyed. I feel at this moment more anxiety for the safety of my country than ever before, even in the midst of war.
—Abraham Lincoln[81]

Republicans always seem to be one step ahead in the game. They blackened Bill, God-bothered Gore, capsized Kerry, obstructed Obama and hacked Hillary. The only times the Democrats seem to get a break is when Republicans implode from hypocrisy or corruption—which easily leads to scandal fatigue.

  • 1854 - The party is founded.[82] (Contrary to its name, the GOP is — in fact — younger than the Democratic Party and not that grand either.) Times are very different from today, and people look to the Republican Party for positive policies concerning slavery and trade as opposed to the Democratic Party, which, at the time, favored the interests of planter-slaveholders and the South.[note 1]
  • 1860 - Abraham Lincoln, possibly the greatest president ever, is elected. He is remarkably bipartisan (has a Democrat for Vice President) and agreeable, acting on what he feels is best for America rather than what is best for his party. He still managed to be the most divisive President in the history of the country as his election was the single event that led to the Civil War after it had been brewing for years if not decades. Unfortunately he was not bipartisan enough to escape the ire of a certain Confederate sympathizer, who assassinated him on April 14, 1865.
  • 1868 - Ulysses Grant gets elected, and is arguably the first person to take the party in a clear fiscally conservative direction, having policies tough on inflation, and focusing government resources to aid industry. Grant was much maligned later for being tough on the KKK and more enlightened on Civil Rights than many later Presidents and thus the corruption during his administration gets played up for all it's worth.
  • 1870s - The Half-BreedsWikipedia's W.svg, the RINOs of their day, opposed the mainline Stalwarts over Civil Service Reform and ending the patronage system. The whole Reconstruction program is viewed by Democrat and Republican alike as merely the most massive yet extension of the time-accepted spoils system. When President James GarfieldWikipedia's W.svg was assassinated in 1881 by a disgruntled election worker who felt Garfield owed him a job, the Civil Service Reform ActWikipedia's W.svg was passed, ending the spoils system and political cronyism. Its implementation was the beginning of the Progressive Era, the Half-Breeds became the Progressive movement, which eventually became the Progressive party.
  • 1896 - William McKinley battles his famous campaign with William Jennings Bryan, clearly setting in the party positions of the pro-populist Democrats and pro-business Republicans for the next century. McKinley backs a strong gold standard, which was cited by his opponents as favoring debt-holders and banks. McKinley is backed (and arguably elected because of) powerful interests such as Standard Oil and JP Morgan. His foreign policy also pursues a course of imperialism that included the annexation of Hawaii and naval war with Spain. While opposed by the Democrats at the time, this policy is eventually followed by both parties post-WWI.
  • 1901 - Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt becomes president following the assassination of McKinley. He goes on to do many things that would be anathema to modern Republicans, including fighting big business and protecting the environment, and if he had his way in the next decade America would have had universal health care a century ago.
  • 1912 - The Republicans are split between the conservative William H. Taft and the progressive Roosevelt. When the convention moves for Taft, TR leads an exodus,Wikipedia's W.svg fracturing the Republican electorate. Roosevelt comes in second and the Democrats take the White House.
  • 1920-1929 - pro-business Republicans retake the presidency and spend 9 years getting involved in scandals and presiding over a massive Laissez-faire economic boom, which eventually fell over onto itself and led into...
  • 1929 - The Great Depression starts. The Republican Party applies the "just watch the country go down the crapper" strategy. Contrary to what most people think, Herbert Hoover moves immediately into action, attempting a bailout and donating large amounts of his own funds to charity to keep people out of poverty. However, he explicitly tried to keep the government out of it, while the private charities he tried to bolster failed to help people.
  • 1933 - Republicans coalesce against Franklin Delano Roosevelt (a Democrat), another candidate for greatest president ever. Roosevelt greatly helps relieve unemployment during the Depression, and has the luck of being in office when the U.S. is drawn into, and helps win, World War II. He brought many years of prosperity to America, along with hitherto unknown levels of national debt.
  • 1969-1974 - Richard "Tricky Dick" Nixon is elected on a promise that he has a secret plan to end the Vietnam War. The plan is so secret, another 20,000 GIs die before Nixon runs for re-election on a promise to really, really end the war for sure this time. By that time, his "plumbers" have been arrested for trying to wire the DNC offices in the Watergate complex, resulting in a cover-up so disgusting, and abuses of power so scary, the country actually elects Carter in 1976.
  • 1981-1989 - Ronald Reagan gets into office. At this point the Republicans change from a center-right party to neoconservatism with the introduction of trickle down economics. Gets credit for delayed effects of the Soviet economy, delayed effects of previous presidents, and for being rude to other world leaders. Illegally sells weapons to Iran, which are used several years later by present-day extremists. Spends 1/4 of all military defence money allotted during the Cold War (in part by literally trying to build a space laser), and starts the 30-year trend of borrowing like a sailor without any regard for the consequences. Becomes principal deity to a new, cultish religion. Stops the horrible problem of 20-year-old adults drinking by signing the National Minimum Drinking Age Act of 1986, and vetoes a 1987 highway bill because it included 121 earmarks and was $10 billion over the line he had drawn in the sand.
  • 1994 - The Republican Party takes control of Congress as a result of complacency and corruption in the Democratic Party. Begins a fourteen-year era where the Republicans really screw things up and destroy any chance of power for dozens of years after a Democratic president and a new Democratic majority is elected in 2008. (It took the Democratic Party 61 years to become fat and lazy, and it only took the Republicans 14.)
  • 2005 - Bush signs a $286.4 billion dollar highway bill passed by a GOP-controlled Congress, earmarking $24 billion for 6,376 pet projects. What line? What sand?
  • 2008 - As his presidency was winding down, Dubya issued a series of executive orders with nasty environmental consequences.
  • 2009 - Obama becomes president and the next 8 years become an endless slog of fear mongering and "whatever Obama wants we don't!"
  • 2010 - The Republicans begin their massive campaign of smears, fear-mongering and misinformation against the Democrats. The Teabaggers are spawned. The Republicans become the "Party of No" as they try everything they can to block important or useful legislation proposed by the Democrats socialists commies cultural Marxists sexual Bolsheviks leebrals. Unenthusiastic liberals stay home as angry conservatives turn out to elect enough scary people to Congress to take control of the House.
  • 2011 - Control of the House achieved, congressional Republicans relax and enjoy being able to prevent Obama from making any progress, simply by not passing anything for him to sign. Nation largely shrugs as attention is drawn to the trainwreck that is the 2012 presidential campaign.
  • 2012 - Mitt Romney becomes the Republican Party's nominee for President of the United States in the 2012 election. He loses the election to the incumbent, Barack Obama, with (in full irony) 47% of the vote.
  • 2015 - Now in control of Congress, the Republicans help make America's chief legislative body into the single most anti-science institution in American history. [88] This includes having Ted Cruz oversee NASA and James Inhofe, the War on Science chief, as chairman of the United States Senate Committee on Environment and Public Works. (Richard Nixon would be sickened right about now.) The Tea Party purges the last remaining "moderates", House Speaker included. Some conservative talking heads like Levin are now decrying Fox as a liberal bastion,[89] and Rance Priebus a secret liberal. This is one of the guys Cruz wants to moderate the GOP debates. Shit is bananas.
  • 2016 - The party abandons all pretenses of being "small-government conservatives" and give in completely to authoritarianism, social Darwinism, and palingenetic ultranationalismWikipedia's W.svg. Even by Republican standards, the crop of Presidential candidates doesn't have any substance to it at all. Their platform is Fuck The Dems because that's all the base wants to hear. As in 2012, the debates never yield a thought-out position; just "I'll have the opposite of what he's having." Inexperienced young dude leaving? We need the most establishment family dynasty ever! Super-established former Secretary of State running? We need some new blood, someone from outside the beltway who doesn't play by the rules! The fact that a troll candidate is at the top of the polls for months on end says it all about this murderers' row.
  • 2017 - The Democrats are irrelevant at all levels of government, having been swept out in the national election. It seems like Republicans have been so disciplined the last four years that they'll be able to effectively move mountains in weeks with their amazing 2016 majorities. Plus the fact that all of their policies tangentially effect "the budget" and will therefore be eligible for reconciliation rules. They don't answer to the normal pressures of "bringing home the bacon"; they answer to a kind of ideological wave rather than making deals. Right-wing populism is here to stay, at least for the moment.

[edit] A very long list of Republicans

The Republican Party is fundamentally crooked and might well be outlawed one of these days. Le Pen, you know, in France, who is an out-and-out fascist, the French have managed in some clever way to contain him... I don't know how they do it, but we've got to do that with the Republican base, the religious right. We don't want them running the country. Nobody does. Certainly not the founding fathers. And I think we have to ride herd on them and make sure they do not seize the state.
Gore Vidal[90]
  • Greg Abbott (Governor of Texas 2015-present): Deployed the Texas State Guard to Jade Helm to prevent the FEMA camps... or invasion... or somethin'
  • Jack Abramoff: Busted felon.
  • George Allen (Senator from Virginia 2001-07): He had a noose hanging in his office from 1998-2000. At first calling it "more of a lasso", in 2006 he came clean, calling it a "little noose." We all know about the Maccaca story.[91]
  • Dick Armey (Representative from Texas 1985-2003, House Majority Leader 1995-2003): Former #2 Republican in the House, now leader of the Astroturf group FreedomWorks, which organizes the Tea Party.
  • Roger Ailes: Former Nixon strategist, former President of Fair and Balanced Fox News. Remarked to fellow executives that "the GOP couldn’t organize a one-car funeral."[92]
  • Robert Bentley (Governor of Alabama 2011-17): They need a new prison to house their state government. (He's grinning because he gets to keep his pension.)
  • John Boehner (Representative from Ohio 1991-2015, Speaker of the House 2011-15): Cries openly more than any other politician in memory (except Glenn Beck).
  • Pat Buchanan (White House Director of Communications 1985-87): Archie Bunker lives.
  • Ted Bundy: Misogynist serial killer who spent his last days before the chair with James Dobson groaning on about how porn ruined his life.
  • George W. Bush: (Governor of Texas 1995-2000, President 2001-2008). The 43rd President. Spends the rest of his days hoping he won't place 43rd on another list. Seems like he realized that the planet hated him, because he's pretty much been a recluse since then. But any past, present, or future world leader knows that picking up a paint brush is an invitation for comparisons to Hitler.
  • Jeb Bush (Governor of Florida 1999-2007): He spent 27 years laying the groundwork for a Presidential run...until Trump threw shit into the cake batter. Please clap.
  • Jason "Chipmunk" Chaffetz: (Representative from Utah 2009-present, Chair of the House Oversight Committee 2015-present): An ethics-violating[93] groundhog. He pops out of his hole, sees his shadow and we get 2 more years of attempting to defund Planned Parenthood.[94] (And those are some of his better public appearances.)[95] All you ever hear is that Democrats "run bad candidates", but even a war hero can't compete with a religious devotion to Republicanism.[96]
  • Dick Cheney (Representative from Wyoming 1979-1989, Vice-President 2001-2008): Enjoys "blowing up Alderaan small countries."[97] Maybe if he had some of the petroleum in his veins replaced with actual blood his ticker would behave itself.
  • Larry Craig (Senator from Ohio 1991-2009): Of "wide stance" fame.
  • Chris Christie (Governor of New Jersey 2010-present): Has shown the ability to set partisan politics aside at least some of the time, but in 2014, a series of scandals forced him to throw in with Donald Trump (to his later regret).
  • Mitch Daniels (Governor of Indiana 2005-13): Responsible for the privatization of the state's highways, Right-to-work law, and voter ID laws.
  • Tom "The Hammer" Delay (Representative from Texas 1985-2006, House Majority Leader 2003-05): Hehe, I'll kill them, just show me where they are!
  • Lou Dobbs: Former CNN anchor who is anti-immigration.
  • Bob DoleWikipedia's W.svg (Senator from Kansas 1969-96, Senate Majority Leader 1995-96): Wasn't it Bob Dole who went to the Senate to oversee the ratification of the Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities? And they voted it down, with many Republican Senators fearing it would impact American sovereignty.[98] Madness. And now he's a Trump supporter.[99]
  • David Frum: Ruined his party (and his country) by enabling W. Now he's pissed that his party has continued down the road which he paved.
  • Newt Gingrich: (Representative from Georgia 1979-99, Speaker of the House 1995-99): Grand Poobah of the culture warriors—with a history of getting his wife sick philandering that makes Bill Clinton look like a choir boy in comparison.
  • Rudy Giuliani (Mayor of New York City 1994-2001): A noun, a verb, and 9/11.
  • Barry Goldwater (Senator from Arizona 1953-65 and 1969-87, Chairperson of the Senate Intelligence Committee 1981-85, Chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee 1985-87): Goldwater is responsible for "movement conservative" political theory, starting with Reagan (a Goldwater scion). He created this monster. But some of his views were light-years ahead of both parties: he was an environmentalist, pro-choice (endorsing a Democrat who held those views for Congressman), supported gay rights, and denounced the religious right. See, if you go full Goldwater then you lose the Bible-thumpers whose biggest concern is putting God everywhere they can shove it, outlawing abortion, and outlawing gay marriage. So you can see why it was necessary for Republicans to smother him with a pillow.
  • Sebastian Gorka ( Deputy Assistant to the President 2017-present): Former National Security editor at Breitbart. Drew a plan on a napkin to partition Libya into threes.[100] Yeah, this seems like the right guy to oversee Syria. Once they've all got their copies of the Federalist Papers,[101] they'll be republican plutocracies in no time.[No, not The Onion] Just think, someday this may join other important napkins in the Smithsonian.
  • Lindsey Graham (Senator from South Carolina 2003-present): A longtime Republican who is dismayed at the vitriol he sees from the right wing of his party. Perhaps he thinks that his party can win the presidency based on the substance of their plan and not rely on a bombastic reality TV pitch Time for some internet justice! Is Trump unstumpable?! Applaud his bravery![102]
  • Phil Gramm (Senator from Texas 1985-2002, Chair of the Senate Banking Committee January 2001–June 2001): Domestic terrorist in a banker's suit.
  • Orrin Hatch (Senator from Utah 1977-present, President pro tempore of the Senate 2015-present): Old mule with the full weight and support of the LDS church. He nearly got primaried last time, and has indicated that he won't run again.
  • Jesse Helms (Senator from North Carolina 1973-2003): The "Senator from South Africa."
  • Mike Huckabee (Governor of Arkansas 1996-2007): Wait, Tricky Dick's back from the dead?
  • Jon Huntsman (Governor of Utah 2005-09, Ambassador to China 2009-11): As corrupt as they come. While he was barking at China to put sanctions on Iran, he was selling Iran parts for missiles under the table. He lost his "nice guy in the middle" reputation the moment he backed Trump. And unlike Ryan or Graham, Huntsman endorsed Trump early, as in well before Cruz dropped out. He's the definition of the "play both sides"-type, and Trump has been a useful hand grenade for Huntsman.
  • James Inhofe (Senator from Oklahoma 1994-present): Al Gore's sworn enemy and head of the climate change denial brigade.
  • Piyush "Bobby" Jindal (Governor of Louisiana 2008-16): A pro-life eugenicist? Haven't those people suffered enough?
  • John Kasich (Governor of Ohio 2011-present): Took a swing at public unions, and whiffed it. Because Kasich is basically a dinosaur, everyone mistakes him for a friendly triceratops instead of the raptor he actually is.[103]
  • Peter King (Representative from New York 2013-present): Sultan of second-generation, middlebrow racism. Yin to Geller's Yang.
  • Jared Kushner: (de facto Secretary of State Senior Advisor to the President 2017-present): Is this seriously him? Not sure how to feel about this country's most influential man being such a normie.[104] He always seemed like the rich amoral scion archetype.[105]
  • Art Laffer: Wrote the empirical proof that the rich are taxed enough alrehehehehahaha[106]
  • Joe Lieberman (Senator from Connecticut 1989-2013): A Republican by any other name, no matter what he may call himself.
  • Rush Limbaugh: Use birth control? You're a slut! (But can I see pictures?) And you shouldn't have the right to vote!
  • Abraham Lincoln (Representative from Illinois 1847-49, President 1861-65): Lincoln can be a modern conservative or a classical liberal, whichever is convenient for you.[107][108][109] His entire existence is rubble and they continue to bomb everyday.[110][111] Might be some bootstaps in there.
  • Trent Lott (Senator from Mississippi, 1999-2007, Senate Majority Leader 1996-2001, Senate Majority Whip 1995-96, Jan. 2007-Jul. 2007) : You just hear him say "Strom Thurmond" and know that sentence isn't going to end well.[112] Insurance companies must have been smiling when he resigned.[113]
  • Frank Luntz: Author of "tax and spend", "climate change", and "government takeover of health care." He was instrumental in 1994's Contract With America, which led to the party controlling both houses of Congess. Lives in a miniature White House[No, not The Onion] and rubs elbows with a lot of celebrities.[114] He's still whining about being assaulted glitter-bombed at Trump's inauguration.
  • James "Mad Dog" Mattis (Secretary of Defense 2017-present): Mattis smiled like a Gremlin at the signing of the Muslim ban. Whatever faith the Democrats had in him is gone.
  • John McCain (Senator from Arizona 1987-present): Jowly wanna-be president. McCain was their last decent candidate, but then he went full Palin. (Never go full Palin.) His reaction to the financial crisis is what sealed his fate. He first said that the fundamentals of the economy were strong. And then decided to "suspended his campaign" to come to Washington and help resolve the crisis. By all accounts, while he was in the room he did virtually nothing to contribute. Once he crawled back to Trump after being publicly humiliated, McCain stood no chance of being a leader.[115]
  • Mitch McConnell (Senator from Kentucky 1985-present, Senate Majority Leader 2015-present): Chief demolition man of the ACA. McConnell warned his fellow Senators that their futures would grow dim if they passed any legislation under Obama. When Grassley and the others started writing furious op-eds about the plan, which Grassley co-wrote, Democrats understood that the "negotiations" were faux. Many assumed he was done after he criticized Trump; but fortunately, McConnell has buttered his ass sufficiently to stay in power. That Senate seat is his for as long as he wants it.
  • Robert Mercer: The Mercers tried to get an executive appointment for their favorite scientist in the world, Art Robinson, a biochemist who says that a little radiation is good for you, and is taking the Mercers' money to help stop aging. The Mercers also believe that black people were better off before the Civil Rights Act, and are in favor of the gold standard. Jane Mayer's article gave concrete examples of the Mercers being taken in by snake oil salesman and conspiracy theorists, and yet the White House hangs on the family's every utterance.[116]
  • Sun Myung Moon: Cult leader, sushi tycoon, and owner of the Washington Times.
  • Marilyn Musgrave (Representative from Colorado 2003-09): A nutty hateful homophobe who ran bullshit negative ad after negative ad. She never actually conceded her defeat. Bye, Felicia.
  • Bill O'Reilly: Alleged "Independent." Consider him a placeholder for the entire Fox News lineup.
  • Rand Paul (Senator from Kentucky 2011-present): Ron Paul 2.0 has lifelike hair, but can overheat sometimes.[117] (You're not going to like where you have to insert the heat sink that fixes the issue.) When Michelle Bachman's book outsells yours maybe it's time to throw in the towel.[118]
  • Ron Paul (Representative from Texas 1997-2013): The Pauls are like a rocket ship fueled with hate. The rocket can crash, but you can always fill the next one with just as much hate. Maybe even more. (Right now it's time for Trump to get his turn on the launchpad.)[note 2] Was photographed with this guy in 2007.
  • Rick Perry (Governor of Texas 2000-15, Secretary of Energy 2017-present): Best 2 out of 3? — Rick's attitude toward the Civil War. Mass-murderer.
  • David Petraeus (CIA Director 2011-12): The guy is still serving probation under his plea agreement from 2015 (which was pretty generous considering that the FBI and Justice Department recommended felony charges against himWikipedia's W.svg). People are still chanting "lock her up", but where were those same people when Petraeus mishandled classified information, to the degree that he wasn't even considered for a role in the Trump administration well, beggars can't be choosers. Particularly when the post is being vacated by a guy who violated the Logan Act.[119]
  • Colin PowellWikipedia's W.svg (Secretary of State 2001-05): Colin Powell could have been President.[120] His Eisenhower-like demeanor would have had a drastic healing effect in the post-Reagan era (which is the primary cause of partisanship we experience today). Like Gore, Powell represents another great 'if" in American politics. Unfortunately, he appears to be a company man who gets misused by the establishment. The report he wrote on the My Lai massacre echoes his report before the U.N.
  • His Most Grand High Exaltedness, Slayer of the Dragon of Communism, and Defender of the Faith: Saint Ronald Wilson Reagan (Governor of California 1967-75, President 1981-89): He was an open-carry hero who lowered taxes, right? He also freed the slaves, right before he deported those jobless heathens.
  • Mitt Romney (Governor of Massachusetts 2003-07): Ran for the Republican nomination in '08 along with another dozen or so rich old white men. His Mormonism was a little too much for the American people. Or was it just that perfect hair? In fairness to him, he really was the last hope the Republicans had to put a moderate in office, and they blew that chance in '12. They should have waited until 2016; they knew it's super-difficult to knock out an incumbent (and Obama was a popular one) but went ahead anyway. Now, all that poverty, poor education, and joblessness is at their front door. Voters see the economic realities and the alt-right offers an alternative.
  • Karl Rove (White House Deputy Chief of Staff 2005-07): Responsible for dumbing down the party so that his idiot boss could get elected. Current status: whining on Twitter. He's been left in the cold like Jack Torrence in The Shining.
  • Marco Rubio (Senator from Florida 2011-present): Rubio embodies the GOP's failure to understand the electorate. The GOP think that Obama got elected because he's a minority and a pretty face. They think Rubio can do the same. (Mexicans, Central Americans, Cubans....they're all the same, amirite?) More to the point, the GOP doesn't understand that they can put as many dark faces on the stage as they want, but when the camera pans to the crowd it will be 90% white. All Rubio offered was to wean the Republicans off anti-immigrant sentiment, and he's already running the opposite direction (a la Romney with Romneycare). Sub-Zero would have a hard time finding Marco's spine.
  • Donald Rumsfeld (Representative from Illinois 1963-69, Secretary of Defense 2001-06): Talked down to us about "known knowns" and whatnot. Knew about Abu Ghraib and tried to spin Pat TillmanWikipedia's W.svg's death as heroic. Generals on the field demanded his resignation. A "known" idiot.
  • Jack RyanWikipedia's W.svg: Tom Clancy super-spy Married that Borg chick from Star Trek. Hired a real-life spy to follow his opponent, Illinois State Senator Obama, around with a video camera in hopes of catching him in some misdeed. This plan backfired when Ryan was found to frequent bondage clubs.
  • Paul Ryan (Representative from Wisconsin 1999-present, Speaker of the House 2015-present): Genetically-engineered in an attempt to make their own Obama. Ryan, Cruz & Trump sort of represent the 3 'sides' to the GOP: Trump is the new nationalist faction, Cruz the religious faction (which was so powerful under GWB), and Ryan is the "upwardly-mobile" faction, i.e. the corrupted, dying husk that had its day under Reagan. He looks like Matthew Morrison, meaning even his celebrity lookalike is a nobody.
  • Mark Sanford (Representative from South Carolina, 2013-present): hiking the Appalachian trail... in Argentina.
  • Rick Santorum (Senator from Pennsylvania 1995-2007): Fundamentalist and failed 2012 candidate.
  • Antonin "Nino" Scalia (U.S. Supreme Court Justice 1986-2016): You have the right to bear rocket launchers!
  • Rick Scott (Governor of Florida 2011-present): Cut off access to voting with vapid, Banana Republic-style tactics.
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger (Governor of California 2003-11): Hasta la vista, Governator!
  • Rick Snyder (Governor of Michigan 2011-present): Drink up, Governor Snyder.[121] It's great that Flint gets to foot the bill for his criminal defense (with an apparently unlimited spending cap).[122]
  • Sean Spicer (White House Press Secretary 2017-present): German Jews weren't German — Spicy logic.[123] No matter, it's just locker room talk (or shower room talk in this case).
  • Michael Steele (Lt. Governor of Maryland 2003-07, President of the RNC 2009-11): Upset a lot of old white people by suggesting the party should focus on younger, non-white people. Has also made a large number of brain-dead gaffes and brought the RNC to visit a bondage club.
  • Ben Stein: Visine salesman who called Obama "the most racist president we've ever had." He also made a documentary about how evolution is wrong. Like to "mentor" young pregnant women.
  • Robert "Sideshow Bob" Terwilliger (Former Mayor of Springfield): Convicted felon.
  • Clarence Thomas (U.S. Supreme Court Justice 1991-present): Made Scalia look moderate.
  • Strom Thurmond (Senator from South Carolina 1956-2003, President pro tempore emeritus of the United States Senate 1981-87, 2001-2003): Record holder for the longest-ever filibuster by one senator. He was opposing the Civil Rights Act at the time. Had so many kids (including a mixed-race daughter) that his nickname on the Hill was "Sperm Thurmond".
  • Rex Tillerson (Secretary of State 2017-present): "Many career diplomats say they still have not met him, and some have been instructed not to speak to him directly—or even make eye contact."[124] - Secretary of State Rex Tillerson.
  • Thom Tillis (Senator from North Carolina 2015-present): A huge hypocrite. He sings about the free market (Don’t require restaurant workers to wash their hands − the market will take care of that!)[125] but he received sizable donations from three major car dealers in NC; as soon as he got into office he shut down small independent dealerships for minor infractions.[126]
  • Donald "Tan Erdogan" Trump (President 2017-present): The tri-state area's worst ambassador, carrying the torch for every dated stereotype you've ever loathed. That's enough to charm the mystics and morons who have entirely too much influence in the GOP. Trump wanted to have tanks and missile launchers in the street for his inauguration. Just wanted to point that out.[127]

[edit] Former GOP Members

He sat at his desk, his hands palms upward, fingers slightly curved, as if cupping something in them. “I want Hagel.” he said, staring into the camera. “I want Hagel. I want him.” A casual observer might interpret this moment as O’Reilly expressing his fierce but tender desire for Chuck Hagel, the Secretary of Defense. More experienced O’Reilly viewers, however, will recognize it as a signal that the unfortunate Hagel had plummeted downward in O’Reilly’s estimation from pinhead to evildoer.
—John Haggerty on The O'Reilly Factor[128]
  • "Sir" Charles Barkley: As a child his grandmother told him they weren't rich enough to be Republicans, so he thought he had to be a Republican after making millions from basketball. He has since learned that the Republicans suck in general, and is thinking of running for office in his native Alabama as a Democrat or Independent.
  • Bruce Bartlett: Supply-side inventor, author of the book Imposter. It made the case that Bush was about as useful as the British were to Hitler: a total spanner in the works, taking Republicans in a direction they were already flirting with and sinking them. He still stands by his policy decisions during the Reagan administration—but is savvy enough to know that different times call for different policies.[129] The fact that he's an outcast is proof of how dogmatic the GOP has become.[130] (The Bush administration was in lockstep and too well-organized; people who had the gall to say expanding Medicare, starting two wars, and cutting taxes is not "fiscally conservative" were blacklisted from think tanks forever.) Bruce had a brain transplant tumor in 2014, and that changed his views on healthcare.
  • Ben Bernanke (Fed Chairman 2006-14): I have surpassed Partisan Politics. Now, I am become Bernanke, Destroyer of Worlds[131] Jim Bunning (R-KY) accused Bernanke of trying to cover up a (non-existent) overruling of his staff's recommendation to bail out AIG.[132] So far, it has been profitable, and AIG has paid back the loan with interest.[133] In fact, it was such a sweet deal that AIG successfully sued the government, saying it was unfair.[134] Hilarious and awful.
  • Lincoln Chafee (Governor of Rhode Island 2011-15): Elected as an independent, then joined the Democratic Party in 2013, who voted against the tax cuts and Iraq War resolution. Even as a Republican, he was a liberal on social matters, supported federal funding for embryonic stem cell research, opposed the austerity of the GOP and neo-liberalism of the DNC, voted against the death penalty, calls for a two-state solution between Israel and Palestine with Israeli withdrawal from all occupied territories as a condition, voted for the restoration of Clinton-era tax raises on the rich, voted against arctic drilling, and voted against torture. He toed the party line on free trade, the Patriot Act, and partial privatization of Social Security, but he remained to the left of even the Democrats.
  • Charlie Christ (Governor of Florida 2007-11, Representative from Floria 2017-present): Converted to Independent in 2010 and narrowly lost a non-consecutive term in 2014 as a Democrat.
  • Robert Gates (Secretary of Defense 2006-11): Like Powell, he hasn't renounced his party allegiance, but serving under Obama and pushing for an end to DADT was not without an earful. He was, however, one of the main - if not the primary - perpetrators of the utter failure of the intelligence community regarding the Soviet Union's collapse. More particularly, Gates has been criticized for allegedly concocting evidence to show that the Soviet Union was stronger than it actually was. He was a key player in the Iran-Contra Affair, due to being connected with many of its leading proprietors (thus fully knowing its activities), and advocating for "any and all" options against Sandinista short of an invasion. Gates directed the "troop surge" in Iraq as well, so it's not like he's a saint either.
  • Chuck Hagel (Secretary of Defense 2013-15): He was one of the few Republicans who took pause at the Iraq War and the corroding influence of the Israeli lobby in Capitol Hill, although that didn't stop him from toeing the party line. As the Defense Secretary under Obama, he opposed escalating the conflicts in Syria and Ukraine, and refused to send soldiers or arm more rebels like the Obama administration wanted; Obama forced him out of his job as a result. Has not renounced his party allegiance, but definitively proved that he was to the left of the Democrats on foreign policy, which was not without an earful.
  • Jim Jeffords (Senator from Vermont 1989-2007): Switched to Independent in 2001, likely the earliest national figure to jump the ship.
  • Gary Johnson (Governor of New Mexico 1995-2003): Ignored by the Republicans during his attempt at receiving the 2012 Republican nomination for President due to his libertarian social views and use of polysyllabic words when speaking publicly. Was the candidate for, shock, the Libertarian Party.
  • Abraham Lincoln: Ironically, he became a member of the National Union Party before his death.
  • Arlen Specter (Senator from Pennsylvania 1981-2011): Switched parties in 2010 out of fear of losing the Republican primary...then lost the Democratic primary.
  • And all you "Obama Republicans"Wikipedia's W.svg out there, whom the party has done nothing to win back.

[edit] See also

[edit] External links

[edit] Notes

  1. In fact the GOP was originally a big tent centrist party based in the North that had inherited the legacy of the Whig Party. Factions included business conservatives, moderates (eventually "led" by Lincoln), liberals (led by Horace Greeley), radicals (led by Thaddeus Stevens), and nationalists who all agreed on a general dislike of slavery but not on much else nor on how to deal with it (the conservatives and moderates wanted to try to compromise whereas the liberals and even more so the radicals were more willing to illegalize slavery immediately).
  2. It really shows what is a priority for libertarians. Trump is pro-war (unless it's an odd-numbered day, then he's a peacenik) and against legalized weed, wants Snowden executed, even more spying and possibly a way to shut down the entire internet, has proposed higher taxes than Rand, etc. Trump doesn't even care about auditing the Fed or returning to the gold standard as far as anyone knows (even Donald Fucking Trump isn't that stupid). So really all they cared about was the racism and regressive attitudes toward women—And Rand didn't deliver on those decisively or soon enough in his campaign.

[edit] References

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  5. Is it true that Democrats used to be the conservative party and Republicans used to be the progressive party?
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  7. Roger Clegg, Hans A. von Spakovsky & Elizabeth H. Slattery, Let's End Discrimination By Destroying the Civil Rights Act!, 4.15.14. Leave it to National Review Online to mark the 50th anniversary of the CRA by calling on oppressed white folk to repeal it.
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  10. Twohey, Megan, "Mike Pence’s Response to H.I.V. Outbreak: Prayer, Then a Change of Heart", NYT 8.8.16.
  11. A bunch of men telling women what’s good for them
  12. Moyer, Justin Wm., "Texas high school with chlamydia outbreak has abstinence-only sex ed", WaPo 5.7.15.
  13. Collins, Sam P.K., "Study Confirms That Abstinence Education Has Utterly Failed At Preventing AIDS In Africa", ThinkProgress 3.4.15
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  21. Berman, Russell, "Donald Trump's Big-Spending Infrastructure Dream", The Atlantic 8.9.16.
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  23. Edelman, Adam, "Many Louisiana Republicans blame President Obama for Hurricane Katrina response — even though the storm occurred more than 3 YEARS before he took office", NY Daily News (8/21/13 at 5:47 PM).
  24. Wemple, Erik, "‘Daily Show’s’ Jordan Klepper blows the lid off Trumpworld", WaPo 9.21.16.
  25. Spinelli, Dan, "Benghazi victim's mother blames Clinton for son's death", Politico (07/18/16 08:44 PM EDT).
  26. Sneed, Tierney, "McConnell: Americans 'Will Not Tolerate' Dems Blocking SCOTUS Nom", TPM (1/4/17 at 3:20 PM EDT).
  27. Balluck, Kyle, "Trump blames Obama for protests, leaks - 'He is behind it'", The Hill (02/28/17 07:00 AM EST).
  28. Tharoor, Ishaan, "Why U.S. conservatives love Russia’s Vladimir Putin", WaPo 9.25.14.
  29. Solomon, Jay, "Where the GOP Candidates Stand on Syria’s Assad", WSJ (12/16/15 at 3:53 pm ET ).
  30. Campbell, Colin, "TRUMP: You've got to give that 'maniac' in North Korea some credit", Business Insider (1/9/16 at 4:20 PM).
  31. Goodwin, Michael, "Obama has his Munich moment with Putin and Crimea", New York Post (3/15/14 at 11:47 AM).
  32. Rudy Giuliani praises Putin's leadership.
  33. Blake, Aaron, "Vladimir Putin polls better with Republicans than Obama does. That’s not unprecedented.", WaPo 1.4.17.
  34. Johnson, Jenna, "Mike Pence says it’s ‘inarguable’ that Putin is a stronger leader than Obama", WaPo 9.8.16.
  35. O'Grady, Sean, "Bannon is right, a war could break out in the South China Sea. Perhaps it’s time for Trump to look it up on a map", Independent (2/1/17 at 8:25 PM BST).
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  38. Momani, Bessma, "Xi Jinping’s Davos Speech Showed the World Has Turned Upside Down", Newsweek (1/18/17 at 8:24 AM).
  39. Valetkivich, Carolina, "Trump's win propels defense stocks to all-time highs", Business Insider (11/916 at 3:05 PM). Note: Shares in private prisons also went up 50%
  40. Revesz, Rachael, "Donald Trump to sign executive order to dramatically reduce funding of United Nations", Independent (1/26/17 at 8:09 BST).
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  43. Casselman, Ben, "Exploring the Iowa paradox: The Economy Is Better — Why Don’t Voters Believe It?", FiveThirtyEight (11/12/15 at 6:34 AM).
  44. Fonger, Ron, "Documents show Flint filed false reports about testing for lead in water", MLive (11/19/15 at 3:57 PM).
  45. Caldwell, Patrick, "Why Trump and Pence Aren't Talking About the Auto Bailout in the Midwest", Mother Jones (8/11/16 at 5:00 AM).
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  47. Milbank, Dana, "Republicans’ mindless obstruction has helped create something far worse", WaPo 3.11.16.
  48. James Pethokoukis, AEI fellow, "Do Conservatives Have Any New Ideas?", Bloomberg.
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  50. Drezner, Daniel, "The awesome destructive power of the next president", WaPo 3.10.16.
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  57. Craig, Shirley, "Reagan’s true legacy: The Tea Party", Reuters.
  58. Paul Goldman and Mark J. Rozell, "Newt Gingrich and religious conservatives: A marriage of convenience", Washington Post.
  59. Steven Thomma, "Religious Right Feels Betrayed By Gop Christian Conservatives Helped Put Republicans In Power. Now They Say Their Social Agenda Is Ignored", Inquirer Washington Bureau.
  60. Mike Lofgren, "GOP insider: Religion destroyed my party", Salon.
  61. Justin Sink, "Family Research Council says 'don't send a dime' to GOP", The Hill. (They're smartening up. Time to stop being useful dupes.)
  62. Chomsky, Understanding Power (2002)
  63. This will help rile up the base
  64. Senator Sanders' town hall with Trump voters, 53:30. It bears repeating that our definition of "The Swamp" and a Trump supporter's definition of "The Swamp" are vastly different.
  65. Harry Reid: "Sen. Harry Reid: American politics is currently just a war between billionaires", Raw Story.
  66. Jonathan Chait, "Anarchists of the House", New York Magazine.
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  74. Kurtzleben, Danielle, "Analysis: Trump Tax Plan Would Cost Trillions, Boost Incomes For The Rich", NPR (9/19/2016 at 1:41 PM ET).
  75. "Republican plans to cut corporate taxes may have unpleasant side-effects", The Economist 12.17.16.
  76. Is Sen. Jim Bunning's stand against unemployment extensions in line with his past votes?, CNN
  77. "THE DEVIL was the tempter and Jesus was NOT a deceiver," Doug Giles
  78. Yeah.
  79. With No Warning, House Republicans Vote to Gut Independent Ethics Office
  80. It’s simple, we kill the Batman
  81. U.S. President Abraham Lincoln, letter to Col. William F. Elkins (Nov. 21, 1864).
  82. Republican Party founded on February 28, 1854, Politico
  83. Federal Budget Receipts and Outlays, UC Santa Barbara
  84. How the politics of resentment created a crisis in conservatism, The Globe and Mail
  85. The 'Emerging Democratic Majority' Isn't Assured—Unless the GOP Refuses to Change, The New Republic
  86. Robert Draper, "Has the Libertarian Moment Finally Arrived?", New York Times.
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  89. Michael Van de Gailen, "Corporatism For the Win - Mark Levin Blasts Fox News for Attacking Ted Cruz", PJM
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  91. Tim Craig and Michael D. Shear, "Allen Quip Provokes Outrage, Apology", WaPo 8.15.06.
  92. Bad News, The New Yorker
  94. Video. The moment where Celia Richards basically said "your source is shit" was beautiful, and well-publicized
  95. Here's a video of a 10 year old girl asking Chaffetz if he believes in science. He does not answer the question, but does say that the future of energy is coal.
  97. Baker Peter, "The Final Insult in the Bush-Cheney Marriage", New York Times 10.10.13.
  98. Steinhauer, Jennifer, "Dole Appears, but G.O.P. Rejects a Disabilities Treaty", NYT 12.4.12.
  99. Gass, Nick, "Dole on Trump support: 'I can't vote for George Washington'", Politico (06/10/16 08:04 AM EDT).
  102. Nick Gass and Adam B. Lerner, "Donald Trump gives out Lindsey Graham's cellphone number", Politico (Updated 07/22/15 09:54 AM EDT).
  103. Gray, Kalli Joy, "Surprise! Huggy Cuddlebear John Kasich Actually Giant Jerkface", Wonkette (3/25/16 at 10:30am).
  104. Hey, do you like Huey Lewis and News?
  107. Lowry, Rich, "The Case Against the Critics of Our 16th President", National Review (6/5/13 at 4:00 AM).
  108. Carroll, Lauren, "Ohio Gov. John Kasich puts words in Abraham Lincoln's mouth about tax policy", Politifact (1/25/15 at 4:01 p.m.).
  109. Gebelhoff, Robert, "Donald Trump praised the protectionism of Abraham Lincoln. I call foul.", WaPo 6.23.16.
  110. Rich Lowry, "The Rancid Lincoln–Haters of the Libertarian Right", Daily Beast.
  111. Walker, Hunter, "GOP Candidate For AZ Governor Misquotes Lincoln On 'Class Hatred'", TPM (12/31/13, 10:25 AM EST).
  112. Edsall, Thomas B., "Lott Decried For Part Of Salute to Thurmond", WaPo 12.7.02.
  113. "Senator Trent Lott on Tort Reform: "Justice" for Him, "Frivolous" for You", Laufenberg Law Group.
  114. Barragan, Bianca, "Political ‘guru’ Frank Luntz built an Oval Office replica in his LA home", Curbed (10/12/16, 12:36pm PDT ).
  115. Burgess Everett and Seung Min Kim, "McCain on tape: Trump damages my reelection hopes", Politico (05/05/16 05:17 AM EDT).
  117. Joy Gray, Kalli, "Rand Paul Teaches Lady Reporter How To Talk To Him, Again", Wonkette (4/8/15, 12:30pm).
  118. Sarah Jones and Jason Easley, "Rand Paul’s New Book Bombs By Selling Less Than 500 Copies In Two Weeks", PoliticusUSA.
  119. Greg Miller and Phillip Rucker, "Michael Flynn resigns as national security adviser", WaPo (2/14/17 at 12:30 AM).
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  121. Eggert, David, "Flint water has fallen below federal lead limit", Lansing State Journal via Associated Press (Updated1/24/17 at 2:38 pm).
  122. Fonger, Ron, "Gov. Snyder adds $1.5 million to contract for his Flint water criminal defense", MLive (Updated 12/21/16 at 1:56 PM).
  125. Edwards, David, "GOP senator: Let restaurants ‘opt out’ of handwashing after toilet to ‘reduce regulatory burden’", Raw Story (2/3/15 11:29 ET). The unwashed invisible hand just gave someone salmonella.
  126. Choma, Russ, "LLCs Donate To Pro-Tillis Super PAC", Open Secrets 1.13.14. Free market capitalism when it suits him, protectionism and cronyism when the monopoly is challenged.
  127. Oppenheim, Maya, "'They were legit thinking Red Square North Korea-style parade,' says inauguration planner",Independent 1.20.17.
  128. Haggerty, John, "My personal Fox News nightmare: Inside a month of self-induced torture", Salon (1/28/14 at 2:00 PM UTC).
  129. Morrisson, Patt "Can Bruce Bartlett save the GOP by bursting its 'bubble'?", L.A. Times (6.3.15 at 5:00 PM).
  130. Sargent, Greg, "Publicist confirms it: Fox News blacklisted Bruce Bartlett over book critical of Bush", WaPO 11.28.12.

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