“”North Dakota: We're not even the best Dakota!
|—Tourism ad in Family Guy|
North Dakota is a Canadian province, located, strangely enough, in the United States. It has a socialist state government that operates such communistic abominations as cooperative farmers' banks and collective state-run grain elevators, and more recently, a huge government-subsidized welfare program of ethanol production. These communist experiments have led to an agricultural crisis on the level of that in North Korea. North Dakota and North Korea have recently been engaged in talks regarding a possible merger of the two states into a new state, which will simply be called "North".
E-85 is far cheaper than gasoline in North Dakota, whereas the opposite is usually the case in most other U.S. states.
Why not Minot? Freezin's the reason.
On November 1, 1889, residents of the Dakota Territories became fiercely jealous of all the hooplah that occurred during the Civil war about the south seceding from the Union. In response to the attention the newspapers gave to the incident that occurred over 25 years earlier, the people of the Dakotas decided to have their own civil war. After a bitter battle of beer pong, on November 2, 1889 at 1:28 am (two minutes prior to last call), the two Dakotas parted ways and separated into the two provinces of North Dakota and South Dakota.
Although North Dakota is deeply Republican, it has history of social democracy. In the 1920s, North Dakota was a three-party state: it had the Democratic Party, the Republican Party, and the small farmer-merchant Nonpartisan League, which advocated for state control of mills, grain elevators, banks and farm industries to reduce Minneapolis and Chicago corporate power. In 1932, the NPL was influential in the bill that state legislature passed, that banned corporate farming. In 1956, the Democrats and Nonpartisan League merged, forming the D-NPL party.
More recently, North Dakota has been known for its horrific response to COVID-19, having an infection rate that was six times the national average, with one in every 800 residents dying from COVID.
Notable cultural touchstones involving Dakotans of the North
- The notorious anti-Christian, anti-American, leftist radio propagandist Ed Schultz is from Fargo, North Dakota.
- The Brothers Coen made an alternative/mainstream crossover movie called Fargo, which primarily takes place in the snowy wastelands of, surprise, Minnesota.
- Without North Dakota, there would probably be a severe world shortage of spaghetti. Lotsa durum wheat there.