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Jeb Bush

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Just Extraneous Bush.
Guide to:
U.S. Politics
Icon politics USA.svg
Hail to the Chief?
Persons of interest
He has got a problem: me.
George W. Bush.[1]
A hundred million bucks, a name that is American royalty, and the apparent backing of the smoke-filled room. What could go wrong? Only everything!
Matt Taibbi[2]
Did you mean George Bush, or George Bush, or perhaps Spanish soap star George P. Bush?

"Comrade"[note 1] John Ellis "Please Clap"[3] Bush, better known by his initials ("JEB!"), was governor of Florida from 1999-2007 and a candidate for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination.

A good example for a "her turn" candidate was Bush. Yes, that name isn't lying to you: he's the younger brother of George W. Bush and son of George H.W. Bush. The establishment gave him $100 million. He went nowhere and dropped out after the second primary (and spent the money attacking Rubio in Florida?). There are going to be academic papers written about what went wrong in Jeb's campaign. The man had everything going for him at the start of this election.

Bush III would have been a record, beating out the Adams (father and son) and the Harrisons (grandfather and grandson), and arguably also the Roosevelts (fifth cousins once removed) and Madison and Taylor (second cousins).

Personal life[edit]

Jeb is the son who was groomed for becoming the second coming of Reagan the Presidency, but after Karl Rove's victories in Texas, George came from behind and grabbed that brass ring before Jeb could.[4] Throughout W.'s term, Jeb was widely seen as the "smart" brother. In hindsight, though, Karl Rove knew what he was doing[5] when he drafted George for governor.[6][7]

The Bushes are a model multicultural family. His wife, Columba, was underwhelmed at the prospect of becoming first lady, having grown sick of being paraded around Miami for political purposes

In 1995, Bush converted from Episcopalianism to Catholicism. He is also a 4th degree Knight of Columbus.

Florida Man[edit]

Every "reform" advocated by Jeb Bush is largely indistinguishable from privatization.

  • Turned Florida into a leader in income inequality.[8] Whenever he starts talking on about an "income gap' and "upward mobility",[9] don't listen; it's just spin.
  • Reformed the death penalty to make it easier and quicker to execute people in Florida.[10] Sound familiar?
  • He increased mandatory minimum sentences to juvenile offenders in Florida,[11] increasing the mass incarceration crisis tenfold. Not to worry, Jeb supports building more for-profit labor camps to alleviate the problem.[12][13]
  • Earned the nickname "Veto Corleone".[14]
  • Crushed Florida's plans for high-speed rail.[15]
  • Rubber-stamped the NRA's Kill At Will Stand Your Ground bill.[16]
  • Granted ownership of the Catholic-only town of Ave Maria to Tom Monaghan's Ave Maria Development Company "in perpetuity". Bush lauded this civil liberties-free zone in his speech at the groundbreaking.
  • Signed Florida Forever into law in 1999. Florida Forever acquired lands that "protect the water quality of rivers, lakes, and springs, wildlife habitat, and provide healthy outdoor recreation opportunities for all Floridians." Basically as Eco-friendly as a Republican Governor has ever been in modern times.[17] (Didn't make him too popular with the Club for Growth, et al.)[18]
    Though as far as is known he's still a climate change denier,[19] so all of the protection may be moot if he gets the keys to power.

Put your trust in the Lord; your ass belongs to me[edit]

As we all know, W A is the scarlet letter for adultery in Nathaniel Hawthorne's novel of the same name. Bush has taken the the public shaming of the novel as part of his life's inspiration (chapter "The Restoration of Shame" in his 1995 book Profiles in Character).[20]

He declined to veto a very controversial bill that required single mothers who did not know the identity of the father to publish their sexual histories in a newspaper before they could legally put their babies up for adoption. He later signed a repeal of the so-called "Scarlet Letter" law in 2003 after it was successfully challenged in court. −Laura Bassett[20]

In 2003, Bush ran the circus known as "Terri's Law", and inserted his own religious views into what should have been a private family matter. He ordered a feeding tube inserted into Terri Schiavo, who had, by then, been brain dead for 13 years.

In 2003 (again), he attempted to appoint a guardian for the fetus of a woman who was raped, which apparently violated the Florida Constitution.[21]

Jeb Can Fix It[edit]

As Governor, he played a central role in the theft of the 2000 U.S. presidential election. For months, election officials were unable to conclusively tell who was President, in no small part due to mishaps with the ballots that just so happened to be in Jeb's state.[22] The ballots were the notorious "Butterfly Ballots" with the names of the people running on two sides with the holes to punch in the middle.[23] George Bush was at the top left of the ballot and Gore beneath him and Pat Buchanan at the top right, but while punching the first hole was a vote for Bush, the second hole was a vote for Buchanan and the third hole a vote for Gore. Confused? So were the Floridians, because it was apparently too difficult for them to simply look at where the arrows pointed. (That or they really liked Pat Buchanan).[24]

His state government first conducted a massive purge of the voter rolls, aimed primarily at African Americans, and helped shut down vote-counting in South Florida in order to preserve his brother's 537-vote lead in the state. Several ballot boxes went missing or were found in a roadside ditch. By virtue of the office she held, Sec. of State Kathleen Harris presided over the recount while herself being an active member of the Dubya's campaign committee and lobbying for a choice position in his cabinet. In the end Gore flipped Florida, but because having elections decided by a handful of judges is the American Way, Bush took it to SCOTUS ("My judges can beat up your judges!"). The final insult: Jeb transferred pension money into organizations that donated to Dubya's campaign.

And yes, he pulled the exact same shit in '04, purging 50,000 voters, mostly African Americans, and handing Florida to his brother.[25]

Education[edit]

If we were designing our school system from scratch, what would it look like? I know one thing: We wouldn’t start with more than 13,000 government-run, unionized and politicized monopolies who trap good teachers, administrators and struggling students in a system nobody can escape.
—Jeb Bush[26]

Jeb's education "policy" is to funnel federal money to the church via "vouchers".[27] Nearly 70 percent of the students who participated last year attended private religious schools. They've had plenty of time to work that balance out if they cared to.[28][29] The law that enabled this was struck down by the Florida Supreme Court in 2006 for violating the State Constitution on funding religious organizations.[30][31]

Voucher schools in Bush's home state are basically unregulated. Investigations of programs between 2006 and 2011 in Florida showed a number of schools running in condemned buildings unsafe for human habitation, repeat violent felons teaching/administrating, using students with learners' permits as field trip drivers to save costs (resulting in 2 deaths), reinstitution of corporal punishment, and defrauding the tax payers of almost $50 million.[32][33] Jeb never instated a standard curriculum for voucher schools, which resulted in curricula referencing Noah's flood as literal science, telling students slavery wasn't all that bad, global warming as a conspiracy, and portraying homosexuals and child molesters using Bob Jones University publications. Other schemes have been uncovered where students learning "business" were found soliciting coins by shaking cans on street corners, and selling illegal drugs.[34] Even if students could have navigated around the terrible schools and education their credits have been declared basically worthless by other high schools and colleges.

He also favors school choice and strict standardized testing.[35] Obviously Jeb is strongly at odds with teacher's unions (granted they are themselves deeply flawed organizations):[36]

We need to have a teacher evaluation system that is based on teachers being professionals, not part of some collective trade union bargaining process.[36]

And yet, the base still hated him because he supports Common Core. Weird.[37]

2016 Election[edit]

He wears glasses,[38] so he's considered to be more competent than his brother, which doesn't say all that much. At the moment, he is attempting to become the third Bush to be President while desperately trying to avoid the "third Bush" part.

The Good[edit]

If my father had thrown away a perfectly good presidency by raising taxes, I think one of the things in life that I would learn is, ‘Don’t do that’...”
Grover Norquist, verso pollice[39]
  • Progressive on immigration,[40] though he eventually caved.[41]
  • Admits that tax hikes may be necessary to close the deficit.[39]
  • Remarked that Ronald Reagan and George H. W. Bush would "have had a hard time" securing delegates today, a rare moment of lucidity[42]
  • Fluent in two languages[43] (his brother has yet to be fluent in one)
  • Wouldn't mind having a...erm, bush on his ticket[44]
  • If he gets elected, Poland will die laughing.[45]

The Bush[edit]

When it comes to my brother, there's one thing I know for sure. He kept us safe.
—Jeb[46][47]
  • An extreme hawk:
  • Purchasing his son, George, a political office in (where else?) Texas. Stop trying to push for an aristocracy![53]
  • Thinks the Affordable Care Act should be repealed and replaced with Apple Watches.[54]
  • Supports the War on Drugs[55] despite being remembered as a regular pot smoker as a kid.[56]
    • Blames Mexicans for his daughter's drug addiction.[57] As a Republican who isn't a scientist (except when speaking as an unlicensed gynecologist stating that 500 million dollars is more than America can afford to fund Planned Parenthood clinics),[58] perhaps he should be looking at his daughter's habit of passing bad scripts rather than some black tar from some cholo street pharmacist.[59]
  • Help! We have to fight "evil" encryption by private companies preventing my government from spying on people![60]
  • Has proven to be just as gaffe-prone as his brother.[6][61][62][63]
  • Will do more to protect the Gulf than Dub—wait, is that ‘Heckuva Job, Brownie’ in Jeb’s campaign ad??[64]
  • Trades on his name, just like his bro.[65] Following his governorship, he was hired by a thoroughly scam-alicious company known as InnoVida as a $15,000/month consultant. The position led to board membership and stock options. Leadership of InnoVida were involved in drug running and securities fraud.[66][65]
  • Called net neutrality "crazy"[67] and has vowed to kill it.[68]
  • Thinks poor children should need straight parents to do better in society.[69] He also supported Mike "Ignite the Sodomite" Pence's Religious Freedom bill. This in spite of his own damn state legalizing gay marriage and several counties passing anti-discrimination laws.[70]
  • Advocates public shaming of unwed mothers. This is despite the fact that all three of his own two-parent household children have been arrested[71][72]
  • Thinks it is "arrogant" of scientists to accurately deduce that climate change is man-made.
  • Showed, in a foreign policy speech, a complete lack of understanding on basic facts over other countries, such as confusing Iraq for Iran, saying ISIS had 200,000 soldiers when it's actually 20,000, mispronouncing Boko Haram as Boo-koo Haram, and saying the Caliph of ISIS is not the Caliph, but the Supreme Leader (you know, Iran's dictator).[73]
  • Failed to win his mom's endorsement.[74]

Chaos theory in action[edit]

Three generations of imbeciles are enough.
—Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. in Buck v. Bell, 1927
Given that they won't even use his last name on campaign material, this was never going to end well.

His momentum was strong until he ran into Trump,[75] who rocketed to the head of the polls, despite not actually spending any money yet. Clinton herself pushed for more Trump coverage in the primaries, as it would pull Jeb to the right. Looks like that backfired a little.[76]

Bear in mind that, at the start of the race, Jeb! was raising so much money that headlines were calling it "unprecedented".[77] Suddenly, even multigenerational backers of his family were publicly saying that they won't touch him.[78] He couldn't even spin his campaign operations manager quitting on him in a good light. No new endorsements on the horizon...[79] unless you count Eric Cantor. Now there's a guy with success written all over him.[80]

By January, the campaign was getting kinda pathetic as it dragged poor Ron Paul Barbara Bush out to do an ad for him.[81] He suspended his campaign in mid-February.[82]

Odd thing: The so-called "pee tape" dossier on Trump was sponsored by "an unnamed Republican candidate for President" and then passed into Clinton's hands. The Bushes and Clintons are famous for being collaborative and friendly. Who the heck else in the GOP would hand over valuable intel to Hillary?[83][84]

Putting aside the logistics (his shitty ground game for starters),[85], what went wrong?

It Was Acceptable in the 80's[edit]

He never had the verbal sparring skills of Trump or Cruz, and his lack of confidence shown through. He was raised to be a fuzzy, grandfatherly politician like his dad was.[86] Right now, America needs outlandish politicians like porn addicts need escalating levels of kinky shit to get off.[87]

Stay the course[edit]

Jeb! thought that W. would be his secret weapon in South Carolina, and that Trump's 9-11 comments would tank him. He was caught totally off-guard by lingering resentment of neo-cons, not only among liberals and independents, but bright-red conservatives. He was stuck dumb by predictable questions like "was the Iraq war a mistake?"

Also, he'd have to fight tooth and nail to blame the economic problems of 2009 (four months after GWB left office) on Obama instead of his own brother.[88][89] The Bush campaign lived (and died) in a neocon bubble.[90][91]

Took 'er jerbs[edit]

GWB billed himself as a compassionate conservative, and on the issue of immigration he at least he tried to live up to it. After the 2012 elections, the establishment decided to wake up and take notice of changing demographics in this country, or else they would never win the presidency again. The demographic they had the best chance of swinging was Latinos, specifically evangelical Latinos. The idea was to soften up on immigration, but keep the rest of the platform exactly the same. This would also play well among the business wing of the party.[92]

Since around 2004-5, though, Congress has steadily lost all perspective on the issue. Republican voters do not want amnesty for illegals. Cantor got primaried partly because he wasn't hard enough on immigration. The Senate attempted to pass reform via the "Gang of Eight" (a bipartisan group of eight senators), and the House scuttled the bill. It backfired so bad that Rubio, who co-sponsored the bill on immigration reform, is now saying he never intended for that bill to pass, uh huh.[93] Trump's victory only strengthened the anti-immigrant faction of the party.

The Tea Party wants to make this a hot button issue for voters. They want to have big arguments about it so they can ramp up the "Liberals are ruining America" rhetoric. Just like abortion, just like social security, just like guns and drugs.

Finish Him[edit]

They got defined as "low energy" by a guy who took an escalator to his own announcement.
—Anonymous Bush insider[94]

Jeb? is a wimpy son of greater scions.[94][95][96] It's quite amazing what Trump did: Someone who has never been in the political arena was able to take out his biggest competitor—a Bush on top of that!—by redefining Bush. Nobody was calling Bush "low energy" or saying he had no charisma until Trump started repeating it over and over. (Trump's M.O. isn't to attack on actual issues.)

Then the media picked up on it.[97] Pundits started saying it. Comedians were making fun of him for it. And now that's what everyone thinks of him.[98]

Remember "Please clap"? Here's the thing. Jeb's own people made it, because they thought it would play well. There are multiple such videos. Then his campaign imploded and a journalist dug it up and made it viral. People were acting like it's a sign of how his campaign was collapsing—when it was 7 months old. The power of the 4th estate.

After that, Bush kept backpeddling[99] and praying that there's no way America would allow this man-child to stay in the race. But Donald only grew in the polls. (Jeb Bush took his mom out on the campaign trail to pimp him. There is nothing alpha about Jeb Bush![100] How's that worse than using your daughter to do the same?)

See also[edit]

  • Howard Dean
  • Rand Paul — Where people got this idea that Paul is idiosyncratic and his own man is a mystery. If the speeches aren't 98% in line with the GOP, it's probably something he picked up from the John Birch Society. Which is becoming more and more mainstream anyhow.

External Links[edit]

Notes[edit]

  1. During the primary, he said "hell yeah I'd kill baby Hitler", then after Trump won people started crafting a humorous narrative that, looking back, Jeb was the only person who could have defeated this rise of white nationalism. It's also funny because of how much he lacks any sort of charisma, so thinking of him as this revolutionary figure is absurd.

References[edit]

  1. Jeb's Scarlet Letter: W.
  2. 2.0 2.1 Taibbi, "The GOP Clown Car Rolls On", Rolling Stone.)
  3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdCYMvaUcrA
  4. Steve Kornacki, "The He-Coon who changed Jeb Bush’s political career", MSNBC.
  5. Hagan, Joe, "Bush in the Wilderness - Jeb Bush's Complicated Legacy", New York Magazine 10.22.12. Spoken like a true Reaganite. Naah, what this country really needs is a dry-drunk idiot who will take the heat when his cowboys go too far.
  6. 6.0 6.1 Krueger, Katherine, "Jeb’s Most Awkward, Dignity-Losing, Cringey Moments: The Definitive Guide", Talking Points Memo (2.4.16, 4:47 PM EST). Looks like someone on his spin team thought that "Jeb struggling with a hoodie" would humanize him. Campaign donations well-spent!
  7. Michael Barboro on Florida Governor Jeb Bush, The New York Times
  8. "Why Jeb Bush is Talking About Income Equality", National Journal.
  9. Speeches to Conservative Political Action 2013 Conference.
  10. Kyle Cheney, Sarah Wheaton and Tarini Parti, "What's in Jeb Bush's emails?", Politico.
  11. Mark Hollis, "Florida Toughest On Teen Criminals" Sun Sentinel.
  12. Patrick Howard O'Neill, "Jeb: We Ned More Private Prisons", Daily Dot.
  13. Betsy Woodruff, "Jeb Bush’s Cure for Shawshank: Redemption", Daily Beast.
  14. Joshua Gillian, "When Jeb Bush was known as ‘Veto Corleone’", Miami Herald.
  15. John Kennedy, "Bush Stops Bullet Train Dead In Its Tracks", Orlando Sentinel.
  16. Joe Strupp, "Former NRA President: We Helped Draft Florida's "Stand Your Ground" Law", Media Matters.
  17. Ledyard King, "As governor, Bush had progressive environmental record", Florida Today.
  18. Clare Foran and Ben Geman, "How Jeb Bush’s Environmental Record Could Hurt Him In 2016", NationalJournal.
  19. "Jeb Bush may be 'the smart brother' — but he's as much of a climate denier as any conservative" Commentary by Suzanne Goldenberg (Tuesday 16 December 2014 14.06 EST) The Guardian.
  20. 20.0 20.1 Jeb Bush In 1995: Unwed Mothers Should Be Publicly Shamed by Laura Bassett (Posted: 06/09/2015 10:31 am EDT Updated: 06/12/2015 3:59 pm EDT) HuffPost Politics.
  21. Gov. Jeb Bush to Seek Guardian for Fetus of Rape Victim by Dana Canedy (May 15, 2003) New York Times.
  22. Julian Borger, "Bush brother blames for unfair Florida election", The Guardian.
  23. Bruce Tognazzi, "The Butterfly Ballot - Anatomy of a Disaster".
  24. Before blaming Bush for this, though, it's worth noting that the person who designed said ballotWikipedia's W.svg was registered as a Democrat at the time and stated that her intent was to allow for a larger font so all the old farts could see what they were doing.
  25. Michael Parenti, "The Stolen Presidential Elections".
  26. Kelly Harkness, "Jeb Bush’s Common Core Problem", The Daily Signal.
  27. https://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/18/us/politics/jeb-bush-20-years-after-conversion-is-guided-by-his-catholic-faith.html
  28. Science Blogs: Blindly Supporting Blind Faith
  29. http://www.orlandosentinel.com/features/education/school-zone/os-florida-vouchers-tax-credits-growth-20160826-story.html
  30. Court Throws Out Florida School Voucher Program
  31. Bush v. Holmes: Supreme Court of Florida No. SC04-2323
  32. Fraud & abuse in FL voucher schools (updated)
  33. School Vouchers: A Pathway toward Fraud and Abuse of Taxpayer
  34. Gus Garcia Roberts, "McKay scholarship program sparks a cottage industry of fraud and chaos", Miami Times.
  35. Jeb Bush on the issues.
  36. 36.0 36.1 Ben Wolfgang, "Jeb Bush hammers teachers unions at education summit", Washington Times.
  37. http://www.npr.org/2015/02/28/389706253/conservatives-heckle-jeb-bush-on-education-immigration
  38. Ashley Killough, "Bush said he was advised to stop wearing his glasses", CNN.
  39. 39.0 39.1 Brian Faler, "Jeb Bush's Tax Problem", Politico.
  40. Emma Roller, "Jeb Bush: Illegal Immigration Is Sometimes ‘an Act of Love’", National Journal.
  41. Joy Gray, Kalli, "Jeb Bush Tells Mean Pope To Leave His Favorite Teddy Bear Trump Alone", Wonkette (2/19/16, 11:30am). Stockholm Syndrome is real.
  42. Jeb Bush Questions G.O.P.’s Shift to the Right, The New York Times
  43. Suzanne Gamboa, Jeb Bush Uses English and Spanish in Step To Possible 2016 Run. NBC News. Jan 6, 2015.
  44. Lovelace, Ryan, "Jeb Bush Sees a Female VP in Our Future", Washington Examiner 12.1.15.
  45. "jeb" in Wiktionary. His name is written the same as a strong swearword, but at least it's pronounced differently.
  46. David Phillips, "Jeb Bush: My brother 'kept us safe', Trump: ‘I don’t feel safe’", The Examiner.
  47. He ain't heavy, he's my brother
  48. Marc Caputo, "Polls show support for embargo, Cuba hardline is in minority", Miami Herald.
  49. Hugh Hewitt, "Former Florida Governor Jeb Bush On 2016, “A Third Bush War,” And Big Government Conservatism".
  50. Igor Bobic, "Jeb Bush: I, Too, Would Have Authorized Iraq Invasion", Huffington.
  51. Joy Gray, Kalli, "Even Jeb Bush’s Brother George Thinks He’s A Dumb Asshole", Wonkette 11.30.15. Dubya: "Stop it with this shit. Say whatever you have to say."
  52. Hurst, Evan, "BREAKING NEWS, Jeb Bush opened his mouth and his dick came out and then he stepped on it", Wonkette (2/12/16 - 3:15pm).
  53. Karen McVeigh, "George P Bush and the US obsession with political dynasties", The Guardian.
  54. Steve Benen, "If you get cancer, you may need chemotherapy, not a new watch.", MSNBC.
  55. Jeb Bush on drugs.
  56. Nicole Flatlow, "Classmates Remember Jeb Bush As A Regular Pot-Smoker", ThinkProgress.
  57. Revesz, Rachael, "Jeb Bush blames Mexicans for his daughter’s drug addiction", Independent 1.6.16. (Her mugshot. Wow, one look at that face and President Trump is going to deport her back to Mexico.)
  58. Shabad, Rebecca, "Jeb Bush: 'The next president should defund Planned Parenthood'", The Hill 8.4.15.
  59. Sharp, Deborah, "Jeb Bush's daughter charged with prescription fraud", USA Today 1.29.02. FREE NOELLE BUSH!
  60. Bill Barrow, "Jeb Bush Wants to Fight 'Evil' Encryption", DGI.
  61. Does Obamacare cover stupid?
  62. "Supergirl's pretty hot!" Yeah, George W.'s buffoonery was probably rehearsed, too. But at least he could sell it. Jeb is a human "Kick Me" sign.
  63. Hensley, Nicole, "Jeb Bush’s ‘gay friend’ in email memoir 'Reply All' won’t vote for him", NY Daily News 8.27.15. Jeb has a gay friend wait no he doesn't.
  64. Garcia, Arturo, "Heck of a job, Jeb: Bush features official behind botched Katrina response in ‘hurricane’ ad", Raw Story 8.25.15.
  65. 65.0 65.1 For Jeb Bush the Businessman, Lawsuits and Bad Publicity by Steve Eder (April 16, 2015) New York Times
  66. Jeb Bush missed red flags in Florida business scandal by Chris Frates, CNN Updated 6:00 AM ET, Mon March 30, 2015.
  67. "Jeb Bush: Net Neutrality Decision Is ‘Crazy’", TIME.
  68. Sam Gustin, "Jeb Bush: I’ll Kill the FCC’s Net Neutrality Rules", VICE.
  69. David Badash, "Only straight parents can lift children out of poverty!", NCRM.
  70. Tom McCarthy, "Jeb Bush flip-flop on Indiana law shows what a difference two days make", Guardian.
  71. There Is A Good Reason Why Jeb Bush Would Prefer To Talk About Your Aimless Kids June 30, 2015 The Smoking Gun. The total charges include: public intoxication, cocaine possession, resisting arrest, burglary, criminal mischief, fraudulently obtaining a controlled substance...
  72. Another Bush Caught In The Act November 16, 2000 The Smoking Gun. ...and caught but not arrested for sexual misconduct. So remember, kids: do as I say not as I do.
  73. Salon: Shocking and awful: "Own man" Jeb Bush sounds as ill-informed on foreign policy as his brother
  74. Barbara Bush: America has "had enough Bushes" (Ouch), Daily News.
  75. Tom LoBianco, "Trump says he 'felt bad' after being 'too rough' on Jeb Bush", CNN. Trump: "I don't know if I want him negotiating with ISIS. I think Trump will do a lot better. You think so too, but you're not going to say it."
  76. Debendetti, Gabriel, "They Always Wanted Trump", Politico 11.7.16.
  77. Ed O'Keefe and Matea Gold, "Jeb Bush and super PAC raise an unprecedented $114 million haul", Washington Post.
  78. Michael C. Bender, "Jeb Bush Aims to Win Over His Family's Backers" ("He may be a little too reserved"), Bloomberg.
  79. Nate Silver, "Yeah Jeb Bush is Probably Toast", FiveThirtyEight.
  80. Holmes, Kristen, "Eric Cantor endorses Jeb Bush for president", CNN 8.27.15. They're both dweebs who schemed for years to get somebody else's job, so there's probably some kind of kinship there.
  81. Earle, Geoff, "Barbara Bush endorses Jeb Bush in new ad", New York Post 01.22.16. (Desperation setting in.)
  82. Ashly Parker and Michael Barbaro, "Jeb Bush Suspended Campaign, Humbled and Outmaneuvered", New York Times 02.20.16. "Zero hour, Michael. It's the end of the line. I'm the firstborn. I'm sick of playing second fiddle. I'm always third in line for everything. I'm tired of finishing fourth. Being the fifth wheel. There are six things I'm mad about, and I'm suspending my campaign."
  83. Salaky, Kristin, "Did The Trump-Russia Dossier Grow Out Of Jeb Bush’s Super PAC?", TPM (11 January 2017, 5:43 PM).
  84. Adam Entous, Devlin Barrett and Rosalind S. Helderman, "Clinton campaign, DNC paid for research that led to Russia dossier", WaPo (24 October 2017, 7:21 PM).
  85. Schleifer, Theodore, "Jeb Bush abruptly cancels TV time to send staff into the field", CNN (12.30.15, Updated 9:52 PM ET).
  86. Shirley, Craig, "Is Jeb Bush just another ‘big government’ liberal?", Reuters 2.6.15.
  87. Taibbi, "In the Year of Trump, the Joke Was On Us", Rolling Stone 12.29.15.
  88. Davidsen, Dana, "Jeb Bush: Obama should stop blaming others for the economy", CNN (8.26.12 03:11 PM ET).
  89. Gillin, Joshua, "Donald Trump blames Jeb Bush for the recession in Florida", Politifact (9.15.15 at 6:03 p.m.). Trump: "Jeb’s policies in Florida helped lead to its almost total collapse. Right after he left he went to work for Lehman Brothers — wow!"
  90. Spiliakos, Peter, "Jeb Bush, Post-Obama Establishment Republican", National Review (12.30.14 3:15 PM).
  91. Lehigh, Scott, "Jeb Bush, stuck in time", Boston Globe 2.17.6.
  92. Budoff Brown, Carrie, "Jeb: GOP 'stupid' to ignore Hispanics", Politico (01/14/11 12:50 PM EST).
  93. Devaney, Tim, "Rubio: 'Gang of 8' immigration bill never meant to pass", The Hill (2.1516, 02:58 pm).
  94. 94.0 94.1 Stokols, Eli, "Inside Jeb Bush's $150 Million Failure", Politico 2/20/16.
  95. Magary, "Jeb Bush Can't Fake a Spleen", Deadspin. Hard to believe now, but we were promised an angrier Jeb Bush.
  96. Rubin, Nathan, "How Jeb Bush Lost His Political Mojo but Won Our Pity", GQ 2.10.16.
  97. Wilstein, Matt, "CNN Helps Trump Brand Jeb Bush as ‘Low Energy'" Mediate (9/8/15 6:26 pm).
  98. LoGiurato, Brett, "TRUMP: Here's the backstory on my 'low-energy' takedown of Jeb Bush", Business Insider (11.19.15, 12:08 PM ).
  99. Parker, Ashley, "Jeb Bush Sprints to Escape Donald Trump’s ‘Low Energy’ Label", NYT 12.29.15.
  100. Ed O'Keefe and Jenna Johnson, "Donald Trump just dragged Jeb Bush’s ‘mommy’ into their fight", WaPo 1.23.16. Mommy can't fight ISIS for you, Jeb!
United States 2016 presidential election articles on RationalWiki
Topics: Affordable Care Act - Citizens United v. FEC - DAESH - Gun control - Illegal immigration - Koch Industries - United States Electoral College - Trump's Wall
Parties: Democratic Party (primaries) - Green Party - Libertarian Party - Republican Party (primaries Convention Tea Party)
Candidates: Bush (R) - Carson (R) - Christie (R) - Clinton (D) - Cruz (R) - Huckabee (R) - Jindal (R) - Johnson (Lib) - Kasich (R) - Paul (R) - Perry (R) - Sanders (D) - Stein (Green) - Trump (R) - Walker (R) - Webb (D) Running mates: Kaine (D) - Pence (R)
Winner: Donald Trump