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Fun:Really embarrassing liberals

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Sadly, some liberals do a very good job of making other, saner liberals embarrassed to share their side of the political spectrum. Others make us all, liberal, conservative, and patriopsychotic anarchomaterialist alike, embarrassed to be members of the same species. Here's a few:

Sexual antics[edit]

  • Most male Kennedys of a certain generation.
  • Barney Frank and his ex-boyfriend's day job as a pimp, whose various shenanigans he covered up for using his congressional office.
  • Bill Clinton's unseemly affair with a subordinate.
  • Eliot SpitzerWikipedia's W.svg, who while governor of New York allegedly consorted with prostitutes (other than politicians) and used state funds to pay for it.
    Upon Spitzer's resignation his successor, David PatersonWikipedia's W.svg, almost immediately went into excruciating detail about his extramarital affairs and use of a state credit card while engaging in them, even though he said he paid it all back with his own money.
  • John Edwards'Wikipedia's W.svg denial during the 2008 campaign, and subsequent admission, of an affair with a woman who "worked" for the campaign. [1] Made much worse because the affair went on while his wife had terminal cancer.
  • Gary HartWikipedia's W.svg, who blew his electoral chances in 1988 aboard the yacht Monkey Business. Or, rather, his mistress Donna Rice "blew" his election chances (bad pun intended).
  • Jim McGreeveyWikipedia's W.svg, closeted Governor of New Jersey, appointed his boyfriend as his "Homeland Security Advisory". He probably would've been indicted on extortion charges had he not found God and come out as a "gay American". Now retired from politics, he teaches classes on ethics.[No, not The Onion]
  • Anthony Weiner, Democratic congressman from New York, who used Twitter to send a woman a photo of his...honestly, with that surname, the punchline pretty much writes itself. We wish this scandal had never ended, as we solidified our attention as it expanded.
  • The British Liberal Democratic Party whose members included an adulterer (Paddy AshdownWikipedia's W.svg), and Mark OatenWikipedia's W.svg who allegedly engaged in coprophilia with male prostitutes.
  • François MitterrandWikipedia's W.svg, the former French President, had two illegitimate daughters and a long-running mistress who attended his funeral (he also set up a personal anti-terrorist unit which he used to spy on his rivals and blew up a Greenpeace ship, but who wouldn't do the same?).
    • His nephew Frédéric MitterrandWikipedia's W.svg, for coming in defence of Roman Polanski after it was alleged that he raped a 13-year old.
  • The Dutch Pacifist Socialist PartyWikipedia's W.svg and all the other Green parties following, for putting the P in LGBTP-rights, which took whole decades of protests and scandals to get removed from the word.

Criminal antics[edit]

  • Ted KennedyWikipedia's W.svg[2] waiting most of a day before reporting to the police that he drowned his date.[3]
  • Bill and Hillary Clinton murdered Vince Foster and 50 other people, and then tried to palm it off as a suicide. Ken Starr, despite his 5-year mission to prosecute Bill Clinton for any crime, didn't think it was worth pursuing.[4] Hint: joke.
    While not criminal, they pretty much singlehandedly turned the Whitewater scandalWikipedia's W.svg from a non-issue (as they hadn't actually committed a crime) into a mess that still haunts them.
  • James TraficantWikipedia's W.svg, former Democratic Congressman from Ohio. Expelled from Congress and convicted of taking bribes and corruption. Compared himself to Maximumus Decimus MeridiusWikipedia's W.svg.[5] Also known for his bad hair and for ending floor speeches with "beam me up."
  • William J. JeffersonWikipedia's W.svg, former Democratic congressman from Louisiana, who hid bribery money in his freezer.
  • The former Democratic governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich (we don't know how liberal he is, but he's a Democrat), was arrested on December 9th, 2008 on charges of conspiracy to commit mail and wire fraud, and solicitation of bribery. He was attempting to sell his appointment of the Senatorial seat vacated by President Barack Obama to the highest bidder, thus managing to further embarrass a possibly (hopefully, changefully) more honest politician in the process.
  • Former Louisiana Governor Edwin EdwardsWikipedia's W.svg. As the bumper sticker went when the choice for governor was between Edwin Edwards and David Duke (former Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan), "vote for the crook - it's important!" Another favorite is "vote for the lizard, not the wizard." He would also fall handily under the "sexual antics" category and would no doubt prefer to be remembered for such (he once denied having had sex with six women in one night, for example, by saying it was actually seven women), but his actual crimes and time served in federal prison for corruption overshadow that.
  • W.A. "Tony" BoyleWikipedia's W.svg, who had his rival for the United Mine Workers of America presidency murdered in 1969 after defeating him 2-1 in a rigged election.
  • Jeremy ThorpeWikipedia's W.svg, British Liberal politician, who probably arranged to have his former gay lover murdered.

Political antics beyond the call of duty[edit]

  • Pandering to vaccine hysteria promoters by Robert F. Kennedy JrWikipedia's W.svg.
  • Senator Ted Kennedy'sWikipedia's W.svg opposition to the Cape Wind power generation project because, well, it would spoil his view.
  • Al Sharpton, and the whole Tawana Brawley thingWikipedia's W.svg.
  • Huey Long, who brought free textbooks and paved roads to Louisiana, but at the cost of his becoming a virtual dictator of the state, with one of the most corrupt administrations imaginable.
  • Richard J. DaleyWikipedia's W.svg, mayor of Chicago for 21 years. Daley is said to have been repeatedly re-elected with the women's vote because, "the women of Chicago love their Dick Daily." We all know what happened in 1968Wikipedia's W.svg.[6]
  • Cynthia McKinney for general nuttiness on several counts.
  • Jerome ArmstrongWikipedia's W.svg and MyDDWikipedia's W.svg, which for its first few years was an astrology blog trying to pick election winners and hot stock investments by consulting the stars.
  • Arianna HuffingtonWikipedia's W.svg and The Huffington Post, for promoting vaccine hysteria, pandering to New Agers, and other batshit views.[7]
  • Dennis Kucinich for his UFO sightings and hanging around with Shirley MacLaine, and for suddenly reversing his position on abortion one week before announcing a run for President.
  • Governor Richard LammWikipedia's W.svg (D-Colorado) for declaring that the elderly and terminally ill have a "duty to die".
  • Governor Ray BlantonWikipedia's W.svg (D-Tennessee) ran a brisk business selling pardons, setting off a moral panic that the lame duck soon-to-be-ex-governor might empty the state prisons entirely in his last few days in office. To prevent this, his successor, Lamar AlexanderWikipedia's W.svg (R) was sworn in a few days early through some loophole in the state law. His would-be successor, Jake Butcher (D) who lost to Alexander was caught with his hands in the cookie jar a few years later in a banking scandal. Thanks a lot for turning Tennessee overnight from a solid "D" state to a solid "R" state.
  • Jerry Brown is a New Age flake and one of the few perennial candidates to actually get elected to multiple seats. The people of California elected him governor for a third term, after last being in the seat in 1983. Dennis KucinichWikipedia's W.svg, who will never make it higher than congressman, and Richard LammWikipedia's W.svg, who will never again be elected to anything, could take a few lessons in successful New Age flakery from this guy. Jello BiafraWikipedia's W.svg wrote a funny song about him.
  • Tipper GoreWikipedia's W.svg spearheading the Parents Music Resource Center, though she received help from a few other senator wives of both liberal and conservative persuasion.
    On this subject her husband, in addition to making himself look like a complete jackass during the PMRC congressional hearing, worked with Strom Thurmond (whose wife also helped found the aforementioned monstrosity) to pass a bogus "blank tape tax"; while its ostensible purpose was to combat piracy in the music business, it was in reality a thinly veiled effort to give the major record companies a total stranglehold on the music business. Thank you Frank Zappa!

Racial faux pas[edit]

  • Hardcore punk bands Black FlagWikipedia's W.svg and Minor ThreatWikipedia's W.svg, for the songs "White Minority" and "Guilty of Being White" respectively. Also the Clash, whose song "White Riot" is sung now by the far right.
  • Sen. Robert Byrd (D-WV) for joining the Ku Klux Klan as a youngster. Unlike some other people, to his credit he quickly got over it.
  • Jeremiah Wright, for various remarks critical of Israel and the American Israel lobby (Wright initially referred to them as "them Jews," for which he apologized) that were pretty anti-Semitic.[8]
  • Jesse Jackson, for a long, long list of antisemitic remarks: calling New York City "Hymietown", saying he was "sick and tired of hearing about the Holocaust", and claiming Richard Nixon had been inattentive to black poverty because 4 out of 5 of his advisers were "German Jews". He also wanted to cut Obama's nuts off for some odd reason.
  • James E. "Billy" McKinneyWikipedia's W.svg, former Georgia state representative, for giving this reason why his daughter Cynthia lost her congressional seat in 2002: "J-E-W-S". This is true; when his daughter Cynthia went off on an anti-Semitic tirade, her Jewish constituents in the district switched their support to another candidate in the Democratic primary, Denise MajetteWikipedia's W.svg.[9] [10] [11] There was probably a lesson to be learned here, but both McKinneys did the same thing in Cynthia's loss in 2006 to Hank JohnsonWikipedia's W.svg, so we can assume it wasn't learned.
  • Günter GrassWikipedia's W.svg, German voice of liberal decency, who for 50 years forgot to mention that he'd served in the Nazi Waffen-SS in World War II.

General media idiots[edit]

  • Oprah Winfrey peddles all kinds of New Age woo, and is an uncritical Obama fan.
  • Kanye West. The 2020 Democratic primary will be a bloodbath fought between him and Oprah.
  • Rosie O'Donnell. This year's Rosanne Barr.
  • Bryant Gumbel, Kanye West of journalism. ("What a fucking idiot.") His Olympics rant, while hysterical, was too hot for the public at the time.
  • Jerry Springer. The ur-limousine liberal, attends a lot of Get Out the Vote events.
  • David Icke, the great white hope of the English Green Party. Until he appeared on a chatshow telling people he was the messiah. He's since recanted that claim but he's made worse ones since. Something of a go-to for conspiracy theorists.
  • Robert Kilroy-SilkWikipedia's W.svg, former British Labour MP, talk show host and TV presenter. No one's quite sure when he swung to the right... On 4 December 2004 a man threw a bucket of manure over Kilroy-Silk before he was due to make an appearance on BBC Radio 4's Any Questions? This was after comments such as "We owe the Arabs nothing" and that Ireland was a "country peopled by priests, peasants and pixies". The latter comment was in 1992, when he was still Labour. In response to accusations of racism, his PA said "He is not a racist at all - he employs a black driver."

Religious antics[edit]

Batshit craziness[edit]

  • Ward Churchill calling 9/11 victims "Little Eichmanns"
  • Pandering to political cults on the far, far left: New Alliance Party, Lyndon LaRouche[12], Workers World Party, Maoist revolutionary poseurs, etc.
  • Che Guevara worship - particularly those who wear the t-shirts and buy the posters without even attempting to understand the politics of the man.
  • Bill Maher for jumping on the anti-GMO/anti-vaccine/pro-PETA bandwagon.
  • Zeitgeist, the movie - Trutherism, Fed conspiracy theories, Bullshit theories on religion and just general antisemitic dog whistles
  • PETA - proving how good intentions can just go so, so, so wrong...[13]
  • Thrive, the movie. Aka "Son of Zeitgeist," libertarian edition.
  • Voluntary Human Extinction Movement - do we need to say more?
  • Those who give environmental protection a bad name: hard greens (of the sort who see humans as a plague on the planet, and/or want to shut down all industrial and agricultural activity), those who pander to or glorify ecoterrorism, those who make rash predictions of impending ecological doom and gloom (population crash and die-off, oceans rising 20 feet, etc.), and those who favor mysticism over science-based environmentalism.
  • Crazy Earth-worshipping heathens that believe in Gaian Theory and other nonsense.
  • The Animal Liberation Front, for believing that releasing domesticated lab rats to die in the wild is good for the welfare of the animals or that mink will fit in well with the natural ecosystem of the surrounding areas.
  • Allen GinsbergWikipedia's W.svg for allowing NAMBLA to use his name.[14]

Genocide denialists[edit]

  • Harold Pinter[15]
  • John Pilger[16]
  • Pretty much anyone in DenkWikipedia's W.svg.

Miscellaneous[edit]

  • Patrick Moore who made some outstanding contributions to science, and some not so good ones elsewhere. Was a Liberal, once, and then moved to right.
  • You, Anonymous user (yeah, you; you know who you are!), for insisting on making deadly weapons illegal (because you're too dumb to learn to use the largely defensive weapons of gun safely) and for suing to make unhealthy personal choices illegal (like smoking and trans fats).
  • Anti-royalists in the UK who insist that if the Queen was removed then magically, overnight, all world hunger would end, everyone would be equal, murder would stop, wars would end and so on... when in reality it would just save about 2p each and make London's landmarks considerably more boring.
  • Assorted rock stars who fly around the world selling millions of pieces of plastic - and then lecture us about the environment.

See also[edit]

Footnotes[edit]

  1. Washington (AP) August 8 2008 [1]
  2. Is the late senior senator from Massachusetts going to end up in every category eventually?
  3. Additionally, said date occurred while he was married, see "sexual antics".
  4. This isn't actually true.
  5. When?
  6. "Except maybe those of us, ya know, born after 1968." Perhaps you don't know what happened in 1066, 1492, 1776, 1914, or 1939, or on 22 November 1963, either. Stuff that happened before you were born is called "history", and education is learning about it.
  7. Though the Fluffington Post has cut down on that a lot in recent times
  8. http://blog.sfgate.com/nov05election/2009/06/11/rev-jeremiah-wright-anti-semite-or-misunderstood/
  9. http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/opinion/2001999939_alexander09.html
  10. http://www.nationalreview.com/comment/preston200407270210.asp
  11. http://www.jcpa.org/phas/phas-leibowitz-s05.htm
  12. Though in LaRouche's case it is hard to discern, whether it is far left, far right, or both. He used to be a democrat, though
  13. See our article on PETA and its footnotes.
  14. http://www.nambla.org/ginsberg.html
  15. http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2001/jul/26/warcrimes.balkans1
  16. http://ics.leeds.ac.uk/papers/vp01.cfm?outfit=pmt&folder=4&paper=1115