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Richard Nixon

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If the right people had been in charge of Nixon's funeral, his casket would have been launched into one of those open-sewage canals that empty into the ocean just south of Los Angeles. He was a swine of a man and a jabbering dupe of a president. Nixon was so crooked that he needed servants to help him screw his pants on every morning. Even his funeral was illegal. He was queer in the deepest way. His body should have been burned in a trash bin.
Hunter S. Thompson[1]

Richard Milhous "Tricky Dick" Nixon (January 9, 1913–April 22, 1994) was an American criminal and President of the United States from 1969–74. Nixon's vice president was Spiro Agnew until he resigned due to breakin' laws. Agnew was succeeded by Nixon's nominee, then-Representative Gerald Ford. Ford then succeeded Nixon as president when he resigned for breakin' laws. Then Ford simply pardoned Nixon for any and all crimes he may or may not have committed, to prevent Nixon from being punished for the criminal acts he may or may not have committed. It's all very straightforward constitutional logic, really. He is the only man to be twice elected to both the Vice Presidency and the Presidency, and the only President to resign the office.

Several years before his tenure as president, he served as Dwight D. Eisenhower's vice-president for eight years. Nixon ran three times for President: he lost to JFK in 1960 in "one of the closest elections in U.S. history",[2] allegedly because he refused to wear makeup[3] ("That's for fags") and looked like roadkill during the "first-ever nationally televised debate between presidential candidates".[4] Afterwards, it was claimed that radio listeners had thought that Nixon had won the debate; however, "the Nixon radio victory emerged in only a single poll",[5] and later studies have concluded that voters at the time "found Kennedy ahead on substance as well as style",[5] that "there is little evidence that television worked to the advantage of Kennedy and the disadvantage of Nixon, nor even much evidence that Kennedy was considered more attractive",[5] and that it is "implausible that the first debate can be linked in any meaningful way to the outcome of the election."[5] However, the results were tight enough that ballot stuffing in Illinois may have played a role[6] (although some historians dispute this,[7] and Kennedy "would have won even without Illinois.")[8]

Nixon ran a second time in 1968 against LBJ RFK McCarthy McGovern a last-minute replacement named Hubert HumphreyWikipedia, and won by an exceedingly narrow margin (less than 1% of the popular vote), helped by "moderate" Democrats who refused to call it quits in 'Nam and had proven that summer in Chicago that they couldn't even run a convention, much less a country.[9] To ensure his victory, Nixon also sabotaged the Vietnamese peace talks, which were actually starting to make some progress and had given Humphrey a boost in the polls.[10] During the 1968 campaign, Nixon committed crimes for which he was never charged: conspiring to violate and violating the Logan Act (felonies) by interfering in President Lyndon B. Johnson's peace negotiations in the Vietnam War, the interference was known as the Chennault Affair.[11]

Nixon went on to trounce poor George McGovernWikipedia in 1972 because the American people took leave of their senses; of blatant MSM propagandizing; the devil you know is better than the devil you don't well, scholars differ. Nixon won every state in that election except for Massachusetts and the District of Columbia, taking 60% of the popular vote; he was also the first Republican candidate to sweep the southern states.

Despite (or because of) being re-elected in one of the biggest landslides in American history, he did not disband his "Committee to Re-Elect the President" (CREEP), using them to carry out various skullduggeries against real and imagined enemies.[12] Many of these so-called "ratfuckers" were crazies themselves: burnouts like Howard Hunt and Egil Krogh spoke of controlled agents and seeing Soviets behind every tree.[13][14] Ironically, it wasn't until Nixon buried the hatchet with Red China and the Soviets that people started to see his paranoia for what it really was. These shenanigans eventually led to the Watergate scandal, which destroyed Nixon's political career and forced him to resign the presidency. Although Nixon never really confessed to all the patently illegal acts he had committed during his time in the White House, he would later admit that "I brought myself down".[15]

Interestingly enough, Nixon was a Quaker, thereby proving once and for all that Quakerism is a religion of peace.[citation NOT needed]

Something else interesting: famous conservative activist Phyllis Schlafly supported Nixon in 1968 over Ronald Reagan because she thought Reagan wasn't experienced enough on foreign policy issues.[16]


The President wants me to argue that he is as powerful a monarch as Louis XIV, only four years at a time, and is not subject to the processes of any court in the land except the court of impeachment.
—James D. St. Clair, Tricky Dick's own attorney, in United States v. Nixon. (Yes, this is how bad it was.)

Nixon was a typical mid-20th century American conservative, which is to say that he made appeals to conservative sentiments while using tools like the enactment of wage and price controls to try to reduce inflation. He was also a rabid anti-communist, which later allowed him to accomplish his China visit and other foreign policy initiatives without being accused of being soft on communism. Oddly, given some of the achievements below, he would probably be considered a card-carrying pinko by the present-day Republican Party's standards.


Nixon won in 1968 by cheating & sabotaging others threading the needle between the Rockefellers, Fords, and Reagans. That was the beginning of a streak for the GOP that resulted in 7/10 Presidential victories,[note 1] and the GOP finally taking over Congress for the first time in the 1990s since before FDR. So, weirdly, Douthat is right:[17] the GOP really could use a unifying figure like Nixon. And physical similarities don't count.

Nixon formulated and perfected his so-called "Southern Strategy," which used barely-coded racism as a wedge issue to persuade naturally Democratic blue-collar voters in the Bible Belt to vote for the GOP. This strategy has continued to be a significant force in US presidential elections, with a heavy dose of religious fundamentalist issues gradually added to the racism. Thanks, asshole.


Nixon's secret plan to end the war was first outlined in a 1967 Foreign Affairs magazine piece entitled "Asia After Vietnam."[18] Nixon proposed welcoming "China back into the world community" by seeking to make changes through dialogue[19] and stated that U.S. involvement in Vietnam was "proof that communism is not necessarily the wave of Asia's future." Later Nixon saw that plans to end the Vietnam war failed because he thought that improved his chances of becoming president.[20] During the Paris Peace Talks, Nixon and National Security Adviser Henry Kissinger assumed the roles of good-cop-bad-cop. Kissinger played the "reasonable" frontman in the negotiations, trying to restrain Nixon back in Washington.[21] One night in a drunken stupor when Kissinger called to report a lack of progress, Nixon is reported to have said, "we gotta nuke 'em, Henry."[22]

Nixon is responsible for the massive aerial bombardment of Cambodia that drove its peasantry into the waiting arms of the Khmer Rouge, launched the War on Drugs, canceled the last Apollo lunar missions, and scaled back the American space program. In the Russian Wheat Deal of 1972, he traded wheat for Jewish immigrants held hostage in the Soviet Union.[23]


See the main article on this topic: Stopped clock
Another important American election poster, from 1972

Under Nixon, many groundbreaking steps were taken in the U.S.:

  • A legendary cardsharp. Tricky Dick made a fortune playing poker during the war, which he used to buy a seat in the House of Representatives.
  • Signed OSHA (Occupational Safety and Health Administration) into law and was the first to argue for what is now known as the Affordable Care Act.[24]
  • The EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) was also created.[25]
  • Went to China — because only Nixon could go to China — where Mao Zedong was impressed by Kissinger's sexual exploits.
  • Eventually ended American involvement in the Vietnam War, but only after prolonging it unnecessarily (see below).
  • Ended the last vestiges of the gold standard.[26]
  • Called hippies "jobless bums."
  • Referred to the Peace Corps and State Dept. Foreign Service as "cookie pushers and faggots in striped pants."
  • Spent his spare time writing piano concertos.[27]
  • Developed a hilarious speaking style. Arooo!
  • Created Amtrak, though his intention was to shut it down as soon as possible because it was "inefficient". Oops.
  • Ended TerminationWikipedia.[28]
  • Legalized abortion in the U.S... Yes, really. Roe v Wade occurred in 1973, and of the 9 justices on the court, 4 were appointed by Nixon and two more while he was VP under Eisenhower.
  • Signed Title IX into law, banning federally funded education programs from discriminating based on sex.[29]
  • Championed the 26th Amendment lowering the voting age to 18. Nixon was probably aware that the majority of the people enfranchised by the amendment were left-wing Democrat supporters, but viewed it as necessary to make American democracy stronger.[30]
  • His "Nixon plan" reduced the United States deficit by 70% (although there were several negative effects, such as increased inflation).[31]
  • Passed the National Cancer Act and launched the War on Cancer, massively increasing spending on cancer research. This is one of the main reasons the cancer survival rate is so much higher than it was.[32]
  • Ended the draft.[33]
  • While he has, in recent years, faced accusations of being connected to the Mafia due to his connections to several organized crime figures, his administration was responsible for the Organized Crime Control Act and RICO, which are credited with practically destroying the American Mafia as a force.[34]
  • Signed a number of arms limitation treatments, like SALT, the ABM Treaty, and the Biological Weapons Convention. Though ironically he regarded those same treaties as worthless.[35]
  • Although a colossal racist, he did play a role in ending segregation, helping to push through the Civil Rights Act of 1957 when he was VP to Eisenhower, finally ending segregation in schools over a decade after it was ruled unconstitutional and signing into law the Voting Rights Act of 1970 and the Equal Opportunity Employment Act of 1972.[36]


In the fall of 1972 President Nixon announced that the rate of increase of inflation was decreasing. This was the first time a sitting president used the third derivative to advance his case for reelection.
Hugo RossiWikipedia

Nixon is also famous for getting things horribly wrong:

  • Escalating Johnson's disastrous war in Vietnam to the point of carpet-bombing neighboring countries. (What's this doing on the Underachievements? It would have worked if only the gosh durned libruhls had been willing to fund it and maybe let him use a few nukes.)
  • Let's just mention Vietnam one more time: in 2013, it was revealed that LBJ knew that Nixon had deliberately sabotaged the Paris Peace talks, but abstained from telling anyone because a) he thought Hubert Humphrey (the Democratic nominee and his own vice president) would be too "soft" on the war, and b) it would suggest to the public that the FBI and NSA were bugging ambassadors' phones.[37] Nixon even had the temerity to call Johnson and lie his ass off, saying "my God, I would never do anything to encourage [...] Saigon not to come to the table",[38] directly after encouraging Saigon not to come to the table. Thanks to both of their efforts, the war dragged on for another three years; when the Paris Peace Accords were finally signed in 1973, the agreement was pretty much the same as the one proposed in 1968. During that time, not only were another 25,000 American military personnel sacrificed, but Southeast Asia has a headcount millions less than what it should be today and is still not free of communist influence. White House aide H.R. Haldeman's notes confirm the extent of Nixon's activities in undermining the Vietnam peace process.[39]
  • Invading both Cambodia and Laos, despite both public disapproval and the strong resistance of military and diplomatic officials. These actions resulted in tens of thousands of immediate deaths, massive protests at home, and set the stage for future atrocities in Southeast Asia.
  • Once again related to Vietnam, Nixon ordered a break-in at the office of Daniel Ellsberg's psychiatrist to discredit him during his criminal trial. Ironically, this resulted in the collapse of the trial, since Ellsberg was otherwise absolutely guilty of stealing classified documents. However, Nixon may in fact have been persuaded to go after Ellsberg by Kissinger, who apparently "was even more alarmed over the leaks than the President".[40] See the Pentagon Papers article for more info.
  • The "madman theory" (quoted below) led Nixon, in October 1969, to mobilize the Air Force and threaten to nuke the Soviet Union unless they helped America end the Vietnam War.[41] It didn't work.
  • In canceling the Apollo program, Nixon confined humans to the Earth and its orbital space. Aliens could not have imposed a quarantine on our species more effectively.
  • Creating his infamous "enemies list."[42]
  • Hiring and protecting too many not-too-bright thugs to work for his administration.
  • Twice tried appointing segregationist judges to the Supreme Court, Clement Haynsworth and G. Harrold Carswell, both of whom were smacked down by the Senate. Both men were so racist and incompetent that even Republicans refused to vote for them.
  • Started the war on drugs in order to crack down on his political opponents.[43]
  • Was the Republican who originally adopted the Southern Strategy.[44]
  • Attempted to cover up the Bangladesh genocideWikipedia being carried out by Cold War ally Pakistan and continued supplying Pakistan with weapons during the genocide even after Congress voted against it.[45][46]

On a side note, in 1969, he wanted to cut the funding for PBS in half, which would have resulted in several beloved TV shows not getting the funding they needed to continue. He was stopped by none other than Mr. Rogers himself, possibly the nicest man to ever live, when he attended the Senate hearing about it, talked about his show, and even sang lyrics from one of his songs. Two years later, Congress increased PBS funding to $22 million.


In your own mind you have nothing to lose, so you take plenty of chances. It is then you understand, for the first time, that you have the advantage—because your competitors can’t risk what they have already. It’s a piece of cake until you get to the top. You find you can’t stop playing the game the way you’ve always played it, because it is a part of you and you need it as much as an arm and a leg. … So you are lean and mean and resourceful and you continue to walk on the edge of the precipice, because over the years you have become fascinated by how close to the edge you can walk without losing your balance.
—Nixon speaking to former aide Kenneth Clawson after his presidency[47]

Nixon also made a lasting impact on the study of international relations by creating and perfecting the "madman theory" of diplomacy. The basic idea was to make the rest of the world think you are absolutely bonkers so that they will always let you get your way (the idea being that a madman would be liable to do anything if his anger is aroused).[48] This drew quite heavily on existing literature (particularly the deterrence literature produced by Thomas Schelling), and in his case, it seemed to work really well.

Ronald Reagan honed this strategy in later years, but it didn't work quite so well when the shrub tried the same thing. On the other hand, North Korea uses this tactic effectively all the time.

Personal affectations and grooming[edit]

I have come to believe that our natures are so predetermined that Nixon could do no other than be his uneasy self, committed to mischief, acting and talking like a sleepwalker in a surreal dream: "American troops have just entered Cambodia. This is not an invasion." More to the point, the fact that so few Americans ever noted the chasm between his words and deeds was always proof to me that he was, in a curious way, the quintessential American, indifferent to — when aware of — cause and effect, acting only to further his own career, which meant that he was sometimes capable of doing the right thing for the wrong reasons.
Gore Vidal eulogizes Nixon, Point to Point Navigation

Nixon was a sweaty, smelly, hard-drinking, vindictive, bitter, paranoid, foulmouthed anti-Semite[49] who suffered from heavy beard growth and a raging inferiority complex. When overt antisemitism was beginning to vanish from mainstream American culture, Richard Nixon was the most profoundly antisemitic president in U.S. history. In the Nixon tapes, he repeatedly accuses American Jews of placing "Jewish interests" before American ones, almost verbatim reuse of one of 19th-century Europe's most pernicious anti-Semitic canards.

Nixon's obsession with the Evil Jew was only part of a profoundly paranoid personality that saw vast, byzantine conspiracies lurking everywhere. It is ironic (but predictable) that such a committed conspiracy theorist was responsible for some of the most outrageous conspiracies ever perpetrated in American politics. He combined his conspiracism with a rash, callous attitude towards war: At one point, Henry Kissinger had to talk him out of nuking North Vietnam.

That such a subtle monster was elected to the world's highest office speaks volumes about Americans' self-image.

Nixon's legacy[edit]

Awesome quotes[edit]

Spy microphones disguised as Chapstick tubes, uncovered in a White House safe. (Nope, nothing creepy about that.)

A little sampling that tells you just how insane Nixon was. Ladies and gentlemen, the former steward of the world's second-largest nuclear arsenal!

  • "I still think we ought to take the North Vietnamese dikes out now. Will that drown people? … No, no, no, I'd rather use the nuclear bomb. Have you got that, Henry? … The nuclear bomb, does that bother you? I just want you to think big, Henry, for Christsakes. The only place where you and I disagree is with regard to the bombing. You're so goddamned concerned about civilians, and I don't give a drat. I don't care."[50]
  • "I call it the Madman Theory, Bob [Haldeman]. I want the North Vietnamese to believe I've reached the point where I might do anything to stop the war. We'll just slip the word to them that, "for God's sake, you know Nixon is obsessed about communism. We can't restrain him when he's angry—and he has his hand on the nuclear button" and Ho Chi Minh himself will be in Paris in two days begging for peace."[51]
  • "You don't have Nixon to kick around any more" (originally published as "You won't have Nixon to kick around any more")[52]
  • "And in all of my years of public life, I have never obstructed justice. And I think, too, that I can say that in my years of public life, that I welcome this kind of examination because people have got to know whether or not their President's a crook. Well, I'm not a crook. I've earned everything I've got."[53]
  • "[Expletive deleted]" (from the initial public transcripts of the White House tapes)
  • "…but when the President does it, that means it is not illegal…"[54]
  • "When the American people look at you they see what they want to be; when they look at me they see what they are."[55]
  • "Sock it to me?"[56]


  • "Fucking Jew-bastards everywhere!"
  • "The Jewish cabal is out to get me."[57]
  • "You know, it's a funny thing, every one of the bastards that are out for legalizing marijuana are Jewish. What the Christ is the matter with the Jews, Bob? What is the matter with them? I suppose it is because most of them are psychiatrists."[58]
  • "Many Jews in the Communist conspiracy. Chambers and Hiss were the only non-Jews. Many thought that Hiss was. He could have been a half. Every other one was a Jew—and it raised hell for us. But in this case, I hope to God he's not a Jew."[59]
  • "The Jews are irreligious, atheistic, immoral bunch of bastards."[60]
  • "But, Bob, generally speaking, you can't trust the bastards. They turn on you. Am I wrong or right?[61]
  • "As long as I'm sitting in the chair, there's not going to be any Jew appointed to that court."
  • "Anybody who is Jewish cannot handle [the Middle East]. Even though Henry’s, I know, as fair as he can possibly be, he can't help but be affected by it. You know, put yourself in his position. Good God! You know, his people were crucified over there. Jesus Christ! And five million of them, popped into bake ovens! What the hell does he feel about all this?"[62]
  • "They put the Jewish interest above America's interest and it's about goddamn time that the Jew in America realizes he's an American first and a Jew second."[63]
  • "Goddamn his Jewish soul!".[63]
  • "[Jews want] peace at any price except where support for Israel is concerned. The best Jews are actually the Israeli Jews."

Black people[edit]

See the main article on this topic: African Americans
  • "There are times when an abortion is necessary. I know that. When you have a black and a white. Or a rape."[64]
  • "I have the greatest affection for them [Negroes] but I know they're not going to make it for 500 years. They aren't. You know it, too. The Mexicans are a different cup of tea. They have a heritage. At the present time they steal, they're dishonest, but they do have some concept of family life. They don't live like a bunch of dogs, which the Negroes do live like."
  • "Screw [the Department of] State! State's always on the side of the blacks. The hell with them!"[65]
  • "Blacks can't run Jamaica. Nowhere, and they won't be able to for a hundred years, and maybe not for a thousand.[63]
  • "You have to face the fact that the whole problem is really blacks. The key is to develop a system that recognized this while not appearing to." Chief of Staff H. R. Haldeman's diary quoting Nixon's propagandistic rationalization for the war on crime.[66]:24-25


  • "The Bohemian Grove, which I attend from time to time — it is the most faggy goddamned thing you could ever imagine."[67]
  • "I don't mind the homosexuality. I understand it. Nevertheless, goddamn, I don't think you glorify it on public television, homosexuality, even more than you glorify whores. We all know we have weaknesses. But, goddammit, what do you think that does to kids? You know what happened to the Greeks! Homosexuality destroyed them. Sure, Aristotle was a homo. We all know that. So was Socrates."
  • "You know what happened to the Romans? The last six Roman emperors were fags. Neither in a public way. You know what happened to the popes? They were layin' the nuns; that's been goin' on for years, centuries. But the Catholic Church went to hell three or four centuries ago. It was homosexual, and it had to be cleaned out. That's what's happened to Britain. It happened earlier to France. Let's look at the strong societies. The Russians. Goddamn, they root 'em out. They don't let 'em around at all […] Homosexuality, dope, immorality, are the enemies of strong societies."
  • "Let me say something before we get off the gay thing. I don’t want my views misunderstood. I am the most tolerant person on that of anybody in this shop. They have a problem. They’re born that way. You know that. That’s all. I think they are. Anyway, my point is, though, when I say they’re born that way, the tendency is there. [But] my point is that Boy Scout leaders, YMCA leaders, and others bring them in that direction, and teachers. And if you look over the history of societies, you will find, of course, that some of the highly intelligent people … Oscar Wilde, Aristotle, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, were all homosexuals. Nero, of course, was, in a public way, in with a boy in Rome."[62]

Quotes about him[edit]

  • "The illegal we do at once; the unconstitutional takes a little longer." — Henry Kissinger,[68] parodying the slogan "The difficult we do immediately, the impossible takes a little longer." (allegedly the motto of the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers during World War II)[69]
  • "Nixon is the weirdest man to have ever lived in the White House." — White House Chief of Staff H.R. Haldeman.[70]
  • "My God, if I had done everything Richard Nixon told me to do, I'd probably be in Leavenworth [prison] today!" — Gen. Alexander Haig[70]
  • "Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in." — Harry Truman[71]
  • "He's like a Spanish horse who runs faster than anyone for the first nine lengths and then turns around and runs backwards. You'll see; he'll do something wrong in the end. He always does." — Lyndon Johnson, 1969
  • "He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears but by diligent hard work, he overcame them." — James Reston[72]
  • "Richard Nixon was a really, really bad guy."-Jonathan Chait[73]
  • "He was the most dishonest individual I ever met in my life. President Nixon lied to his wife, his family, his friends, longtime colleagues in the US Congress, lifetime members of his own political party, the American people and the world."-Barry Goldwater[74]
  • "Do you realize the responsibility I carry? I'm the only person standing between Richard Nixon and the White House."-John F. Kennedy[75]

See also[edit]

  • Cloth coat Republican
  • Ratfucking
  • Reaganism — Which he pioneered, allowing rich assholes to pretend they're for the common man while doing the exact opposite.
  • Ronald Reagan - The runner to Nixon's walker. A deeply bigoted man, he perfected the dog whistle, hiding hateful, antisocial, even dangerous language and policies behind flowery buzzwords to empower the most monstrous of society into action. This created the foundations for the modern conservative movement, turned its ideology into one of cruelty and spite, and established a decades-long lurch to the right after destroying the remnants of the New Deal.
  • Donald TrumpDarker and edgier Nixon and Reagan. A narcissistic, fervently authoritarian megalomaniac who ran on "law and order" against The Other, widely regarded as a paranoid, self-important crook and a pinnacle of modern-day political corruption who tested the limits of democracy and promoted post-truth sentiment among his followers; Nixon preferred the dog whistle to Trump's blow horn. Trump is the culmination of the path Nixon and Reagan set the GOP on.

Nixon's merry band of shysters[edit]

If you want to know why America became an international laughingstock in the past forty years, here's a pretty good place to start.

  • Roger Ailes, who later managed Ronnie Raygun's campaign. He ran Fox News under Murdoch before resigning for alleged sexual harassment.
  • Robert Bork, Solicitor General. Known for his role in the Saturday Night Massacre. The Bork nomination was like if Obama had nominated Rachel Maddow; no one really thought it'd go through. It was also a quid pro quo with Nixon for being his toady during Watergate, and Reagan was following through with what Nixon promised him.
  • Pat Buchanan, uncloseted neo-Fascist. Liberal elites toppled Nixon! His fall was not a triumph of democracy!
  • George H. W. Bush, to be President himself—Ambassador to the UN, Chairman of the RNC
  • The headless body of Agnew, tax cheat
  • Dick Cheney, spinmaster. Yep, Vader got his start here, too.[76]
  • Chuck Colson, White House Counsel, Watergate operative.
  • John W. DeanWikipedia, White House counsel who turned against Nixon during Watergate. Repentant over his role in Nixon's crimes, he's become a historian and principled critic of modern conservatism.
  • Gerald Ford, his second VP and successor, pardoned him over Watergate.
  • Lucianne Goldberg, mother of Jonah "Liberal Fascism!" Goldberg. Lucianne also founded the anti-feminist "Pussycat League".
  • Henry Kissinger, destroyer of Third World nations. Kissinger was mostly involved with the wars in Southeast Asia (although behind the scenes he was also allegedly "involved"[77] with Watergate and other illegal domestic activities, such as wiretapping),[78] but maintained close coordination with Nixon. Kissinger became such a household name because he spent a lot of time partying with celebrities and putting himself in the public eye, not to mention crediting himself for ending America's involvement in the Vietnam War.
  • Bob HaldemanWikipedia, bag man.
  • Alexander HaigWikipedia, Kissinger's aide and protégé, Nixon's Chief of Staff during his last year in office; later Ronald Reagan's nutcase Secretary of State.
  • E. Howard HuntWikipedia, a failed spy novelist, once disguised himself in a nurse's gown and wig[79] (but no clown makeup, that we know of.) Hunt was the real-life inspiration for the Cigarette Smoking Man in the X-Files.
  • Koch Industries. A few years ago, there was a Harper's article that traced how Nixon sabotaged public broadcasting, ending up with a Koch brother sitting on the corporate board of WGBH today.[80]
  • G. Gordon Liddy, a square-jawed murderous dickhead who would probably choke a toddler to death if you convinced him the toddler was a communist. He once roasted and ate a rat to overcome his fear of them. (Good thing he didn't have a fear of children.) He later became a shock jock who was "convinced" Obama is a secret Muslim.
  • Peter Lorre John EhrlichmanWikipedia Esq., unsuccessful ice cream pitchman.
  • Paul "Agent to the Tsars" Manafort. He set up a lobbying firm whose goal was to prop up dictators worldwide: Mobutu, Marcos, Savimbi, Yanukovych, and the Pakistani ISI. His MO was to "promote democracy" through PR that demonized opponents Republican-style. They used the prototype to the Super PAC to funnel money for this propaganda drive. You've seen their work in America, too. Nixon was their test run for future Republican presidents and the world over. Fortunately, he's going to come down with a case of polonium poisoning fairly soon.[81]
  • John N. MitchellWikipedia, Attorney General, went to prison for his role in Watergate.
  • Sun Myung Moon, a prophet of the right-wing, first came to prominence in America as a die-hard Nixon defender during Watergate.[82] It's no accident that the Christian Right flourished under Nixon.
  • Rupert Murdoch, whose propaganda was given a wider audience under this man. Yes, even Murdoch owes his existence to Nixon.
  • Lewis F. Powell Jr., some guy who wrote a memo saying Wall Street should first control the courts to control the laws, basically admitting businesses need to buy off lawmakers because it wasn't working otherwise. Nixon put him on the Supreme Court, and Powell was the deciding vote in two rulings, Buckley v. Valeo, and National Bank of Boston v. Bellotti, the two rulings that said money equals speech. This was how Nixon codified Stone and Manafort's chicanery into law.
  • Karl Rove. Okay, now it's just getting spooky.[83])
  • Donald Rumsfeld, put in charge of scrapping re-organizing the Big Society. Not even the Nixon White House could stand him.[84]
  • Ben Stein, shit-for-brains bootlicker who worked as a Nixon speechwriter. But nowhere near as crazy as
  • Roger Stone, who did some small-time dirty tricks for Nixon's reelection campaign as a dress rehearsal for a lifetime of poisoning American politics. In addition to being a grade-A grifter (notice the only campaign he ever ran was Arlen Specter's) who's been trying to rip off Internet Nazi numbskulls since before they came into being, is the only man in politics who can be called a "cuck" in the literal sense. He had to quit the Dole campaign in '96 when it came out that he and his wife had placed ads in a swingers magazines and websites, including nude pictures of himself and his wife, looking for "well-hung in-shape men" to share his wife with. The dude also has a tattoo of Nixon on his back, which is even creepier.
  • Caspar WeinbergerWikipedia, Secretary of Health, Education and Welfare, then Reagan's Secretary of Defense. He was indicted for his role in the Iran-Contra scandal.

External links[edit]



  1. And the other three were hardly huge FDR or Johnson-style mandates for liberalism: Clinton won by pulling an Eisenhower in reverse, and Carter got in, just barely, thanks to Watergate and the pardon.


  1. He Was a Crook, The Atlantic, 1 May 1994
  3. Matthews, Christopher, "JFK outfoxed Nixon", Washington Examiner (10/6/96 4pm).
  5. 5.0 5.1 5.2 5.3
  10. When a Candidate Conspired With a Foreign Power to Win An Election: It took decades to unravel Nixon’s sabotage of Vietnam peace talks. Now, the full story can be told. by John A. Farrell (August 06, 2017) Politico Magazine.
  11. When a Candidate Conspired With a Foreign Power to Win An Election: It took decades to unravel Nixon’s sabotage of Vietnam peace talks. Now, the full story can be told. by John A. Farrell (August 06, 2017) Politico.
  12. Mehren, Elizabeth, "'Insanity' in Nixon's White House", L.A. Times 2.18.03. Howard Dean: "I had not been trained as a criminal lawyer, to become counsel to the president. I realized later it was essential."
  13. TIME, 8.27.63. Hunt told Time that his break-in of Daniel Ellsberg's office was an attempt to find out whether Ellsberg "might be a controlled agent for the Sovs."
  14. Hersh, Seymour, "Kissinger and Nixon in the White House", The Atlantic (1982). Krogh: "We were going after an espionage ring, not just Daniel Ellsberg… We didn't know if there were spies all over this country at that point…"
  16. Critchlow, Donald T. (September 8, 2016). Phyllis Schlafly, the mother of right-wing populism. Washington Post. Retrieved March 18, 2021.
  17. Douthat, [ "Searching for Richard Nixon", New York Times 11.22.15
  18. Asia After Viet Nam, Foreign Affairs, Richard M. Nixon, October 1967.
  19. Raymond L. Garthoff. Détente and Confrontation: American-Soviet Relations from Nixon to Reagan. Brookings Institution Press, January 1994, pp. 242-243. (Oddly, G. Gordon Liddy had once proposed blowing up the Brookings Institution.)
  20. Nixon lied. Nixon killed Americans and Vietnamese needlessly.
  21. Schwartz, William A., and Charles Derber, et al. The Nuclear Seduction: Why the Arms Race Doesn't Matter -- And What Does. Berkeley: University of California Press, 1990. Pg. 107. Quoted from H. R. Haldeman.
  22. Kissinger and Nixon in the White House, The Atlantic
  23. "…Jackson-Vanik amendment to the 1972 International Grain Agreement (IGA), or 'Russian Wheat Deal' negotiated by Richard Nixon and the Soviet Union which made for the first time by law a trade agreement contingent upon the fundamental human right of Soviet Jews to emigrate." [1]
  24. This is not a joke.
  25. Nixon created the EPA in 1970. Today, it’s a much different agency., CNN, August 23, 2019
  26. 50 Years After Nixon Ended the Gold Standard, Dollar’s Dominance Faces Threat, Barrons, August 15, 2021
  27. Nixon and the Fifteen Democrats, everyone!
  28. "President Nixon, Special Message on Indian Affairs". U.S. Environmental Protection Agency. Retrieved 2019-06-15. 
  29. Today in History: Anti-Discrimination Amendment Title IX is Signed Into Law by President Nixon (1972), History Collection, June 23, 2017
  30. Twenty-five Years of 18-Year-Old Voting
  31. Nixon's Keynesian Solution
  32. The 40-year war on cancer
  33. U.S. military draft ends, Jan. 27, 1973
  34. Were Richard Nixon's Alleged Ties To Organized Crime Real Or Mere Speculation?
  35. As noted by Francis Gavin in "Nuclear Statecraft: History and Strategy in America’s Atomic Age" (Cornell University Press, 2012)
  36. Nixon’s Record on Civil Rights
  37. The Lyndon Johnson tapes: Richard Nixon's 'treason', BBC
  39. "Nixon’s Vietnam Treachery", New York Times, December 2016.
  40. Wells, Tom (2001). Wild Man: The Life and Times of Daniel Ellsberg. New York: Palgrave Macmillan. p. 460. ISBN 978-0-230-61979-1. 
  41. Wikipedia entry on Operation Giant Lance
  42. List of White House 'Enemies', Facts on File
  43. New Documents Reveal the Bloody Origins of America's Long War on Drugs, Benjamin T. Smith, Time 24 August 2021
  44. Dividing the Democrats, memorandum to the Attorney General H. R. Haldeman (October 5, 1971) The White House, via The New Yorker (archived from July 15, 2008).
  45. US, China suppressed genocide reports during Bangladesh liberation war, Zee News
  46. Rao, P.V. (1 January 2006). "The US Congress and the 1971 Crisis in East Pakistan". International Studies.
  47. Richard Nixon: Rhetorical Strategist by Hal W. Bochin (1990) Greenwood Press. ISBN 0313261083.
  48. Richard Nixon, The Real War, subchapter The "Hole Card", 1980.
  49. In Tapes, Nixon Rails About Jews and Blacks, The New York Times
  50. Secrets: A Memoir of Vietnam and the Pentagon Papers. (2002) by Daniel Ellsberg p. 418
  51. The Ends of Power (1978) by Robert Haldeman p. 83
  52. Last (and first) things by Mark Liberman (July 15, 2009) Language Log.
  53. 0:01 / 0:36 Richard Nixon - "I'm not a crook" (original broadcast: November 17, 1973) YouTube.
  54. Nixon says, "…but when the President does it, that means it is not illegal…" 1977 David Frost interview of Nixon (Mar 5, 2017) YouTube.
  55. Nixon wandering the halls of the White House shitface drunk talking to the portraits of dead presidents the night before resignation. (Woodward and Bernstein, Final Days, p. 303)
  56. And so much more!
  57. The Final Days by Bob Woodward
  59. Nixon, Haldeman, and Ronald Ziegler, 2:42-3:33 P.M. Oval Office Conversation #524-7; cassette #775 (17 June 1971)
  62. 62.0 62.1
  63. 63.0 63.1 63.2
  66. How Fascism Works: The Politics of Us and Them by Jason Stanley (2018) Random House. ISBN 9780525511830.
  67. Tapes from 1971 as presented in "All the Philosopher King's Men" by James Warren in Harper's Magazine (February 2000)
  68. Transcript of secret meeting with Turkish Foreign Minister Mehli Esenbel, 3.10.75.
  70. 70.0 70.1 Doyle, William, Inside the Oval Office: The White House Tapes From FDR to Clinton (2002)
  71. Plain Speaking : An Oral Biography of Harry S Truman (1974) by Merle Miller, p. 179
  72. Attributed by Joe Sharkey, The New York Times 3.12.2000
  74. Quoted from his 1988 memoir Goldwater
  75. Presidential Confidential (2010), p. 296
  76. Dean, John W., "Son of Nixon", Daily Beast 1.7.09.
  79. Sullivan, Patricia, Obituary for Howard Hunt, WaPo 1.24.07.
  81. Ilya Marritz and Andrea Bernstein, "Paul Manafort's Puzzling New York Real Estate Purchases", WNYC (28 Mar 2017). A real hustler move; gotta respect it.
  82. Gorenfeld, John, Bad Moon Rising: How Reverend Moon Created the Washington Times, Seduced the Religious Right, and Built an American Kingdom, Polipoint Press, 2008. Excerpt.
  83. Stolberg, Sheryl Gray, "Rove Strategy Paper Found in Nixon Archive", NYT 7.14.07.
  84. Transcripts from White House tapes, 4.7.71. Nixon: I think maybe Rumsfeld is not too long for this world. He's ready to jump ship. Haldeman: No, I don't think he's ready to jump ship. And I doubt if he ever would, just because it serves his interests more not to. But I sure don't think he's ever going to be a solid member of this ship. Unless it's floating high.