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Forum:Who Here Has Read the Bible?

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Andy Schlafly thinks that most atheists haven't read the Bible. I don't see how that would change much, but let's prove him wrong all the same, and go one further, and see how many of us have read the Bible...

Atheists & Agnostics[edit]

  • Yeah, I actually used to believe that stuff until I got old enough to think for myself (I left church when I was 11 or 12) SirChuckBCall the FBI 18:26, 17 December 2007 (EST)
  • Read Genesis through Numbers solidly, plus lots of other stuff. Taught Sunday School for about 3 years, too!

Yes, exactly. I know next to nothing about editing wikis. Partly because I graduated college before Wiki picked up.

  • I've read Genesis through Leviticus, Job, the Synoptic Gospels, Deuteronomy, the Gospel of Thomas, and various apocryphal works. I'm a NOMA agnostic, to clarify-αmεσ (spy) 18:34, 16 December 2007 (EST)
  • Large chunks of it, sure. I skipped the boring bits though, maybe that's where the divinity is? --JeɚvsYour signature uses all my CPU time... 18:38, 16 December 2007 (EST)
  • I've read the entire New Testament, most of the Old Testament, the entire Book of Mormon, much of the Quran, the Poetic Edda, the Book of Enoch, the Principia Discordia, and as much of the Urantia Book as I could stomach. Unconvinced one way or the other on any of them, but also unconvinced one way or the other about atheism. Agnostic, I suppose. I prefer "freethinker". But tommyknockers are real! Secret Squirrel 18:43, 16 December 2007 (EST)
  • Certainly not all of it, but I've read chunks - Genesis, Ecclesiastes, a Gospel or two, Job, Revelations, and probably some other parts, too. There's also a copy of the Koran around my house somewhere that I may read at some point. Master Bra'tacKree! 18:47, 16 December 2007 (EST)
  • Twice. End to end. Once for confirmation at a Lutheran church. Once for Catholic high school (Old Testament and New Testament were required religion classes for sophomores). --Shagie 18:50, 16 December 2007 (EST) (I'm a strong agnostic - note, this does not preclude theism, just rather a statement of skepticism of the supernatural)
  • All of it, dozens of times, particularly Proverbs.-Shangrala 19:08, 16 December 2007 (EST)
  • I read the Old Testament a long time ago. - Icewedge 19:29, 16 December 2007 (EST)
  • I don't think I've ever sat still long enough to read all the way through any one book, but I know my way around the thing, and consult it almost as often as my dictionary. Well, maybe a tenth as often. I also had church school through high school age, and even got school-prayered as a kid in Wales. None of it took. Strong atheist. humanUser talk:Human 19:32, 16 December 2007 (EST)
  • Haven't read it but I know lots of parts of the story. I don't think reading the whole thing would make me a believer, no more than reading the Harry Potter series would make me believe in witchcraft. --BillOhannity 19:44, 16 December 2007 (EST)
  • Only English versions, KJV naturally, RSV and NIV. Fair to middlin "dueling scriptures" player. Ex-semi-fundamentalist. CЯacke® 22:39, 16 December 2007 (EST)
  • I've read the entire NIV and some of the KJV, mostly the parts that are publicised to be quite different from the NIV. As for Aschlafly suggesting that an atheist cannot possibly have read the Bible, that is simply preposterous. I am an atheist precisely because I've read the Bible. But remember that this is a man that doesn't believe in tectonic plates or that keeping guns off of planes is a good idea. AdamNelson 22:49, 16 December 2007 (EST)
  • I've read Genesis, Exodus, a another book or two of the OT and various parts of others. Also a couple of the Gospels (been meaning to read Revelation for a while, it being probably the most ridiculous thing ever written). I obviously haven't read the whole thing, vast portions of it being unreadable drivel. Thought hardly anyone had read the whole thing, sort of like Finnegan's Wake (anyone read that?). DickTurpis 22:59, 16 December 2007 (EST)
  • Read bits as a kid, I'd read Alice in Wonderland first though & took it in the same spirit. As Science Fiction goes it's not very good & the characters are poorly described, there's one ... God I think he's called who sounds like a right bastard. Its a bit too bloodthirsty in the first half, I'm surprised the politically correct brigade haven't called for its banning. The second half's just boring but ends well - on a high point. Oh! And, like Shakespeare, it's full of quotations. Susanpurrrrr ... 23:12, 16 December 2007 (EST) (Finnegan's Wake exxxxcellent!)
    • ROTFLMAO! humanUser talk:Human 00:54, 17 December 2007 (EST)
  • I haven't read it, but I have gone to Church (for most of my life) and have heard the prest read from the bible and discuss it. I found most of the things seemed to make no sense at all. --142.68.43.193 01:35, 17 December 2007 (EST)
  • I fell asleep after reading the front cover (which only had "HOLY BIBLE" on it) --Cheers,Ryanǂ wuz here ǂ 01:45, 17 December 2007 (EST)
  • Not sure if I've read all of it. I've read most of it but a long time ago and not at one sitting. Pragmatic atheist.--Bobbing up 03:10, 17 December 2007 (EST)
  • I've read bits and pieces here and there (mostly on anti-Biblical sources, admittedly), and of course I'd read a few pages at a time while in church. Pretty sick shit. Do you have any idea how long that book actually is?? GrandSoviet 03:54, 17 December 2007 (EST)
  • Read all the regularly taught portions of it through school and Sunday School, and bits of it since for curiousity and education, but I wouldn't be able to quote any of it - I do think it's a wonderful, often beautifully written, important history text and set of stories of the times, and it's clearly intriguing given its cultural importance. However, it's anything but journalism, and much of it is clearly complete nonsense and entirely fictional - what, you think they didn't have novelists then? For the first 17 years of my life I went to Church every Sunday, even on holidays in foreign countries - my father was a lay reader and was heavily involved in the Church, as was my mother. I loathed it but I wasn't 'forced' to go, rather 'strongly encouraged', with no other real option.... Despite all this encouragement and exposure to the Word of God, neither God nor Spirituality ever took the slightest root in me. I remember standing outside Church after Sunday School at the age of seven and saying "But I just don't believe in a God" to the clergyman. He patted my head. The moment my parents declared me an adult and said I didn't have to go, I stopped going. Finally, yes, I have read Finnegan's Wake. A much better book! DogP 04:07, 17 December 2007 (EST)
  • I Haven't read any of the Bible proper or apocrypha. A long time ago, before my parents lapsed in their religious observance, I was probably forced to read the Book of Esther, and we still do Pesach, so I annually read at least a horribly abridged version of the Haggadah. Frankly, long, poorly written books do not hold my attention span, regardless of their influence over western civilization. I find I can get by with reading a lot of more interesting books that just cite the Bible a lot, and if I ever need something specific I can just go quote mining. --My cat is smarter than Andrew Schafly RA harass stalk 05:35, 17 December 2007 (EST)
  • Dear God, am I only one here who hasn't read any of it? ...It's so lonely being ignorant. --My cat is smarter than Andrew Schafly RA harass stalk 05:40, 17 December 2007 (EST)
  • Read the Bible, taken 4 years of Catholic theology classes at a Catholic high school, and am now finishing up my fourth year at a Catholic University. Don't believe a word of it. 98.204.72.218 08:31, 17 December 2007 (EST)
  • I went to Catholic schools when younger; were basically told not to read the bible. (Some Catholics are funny like that, they encourage people to bow to the churches interpretation rather than formulate their own. Protestants tend to be more openminded on differing interpretation, though CP isn't a good example) I read the Bible several times in protest. Was quite religious for a while in my mid teens (I turned down the opportunity to have sex at fifteen! Should tell you just how religious I was at one time) but slowly realised the impossibility of some of the bullshit, even in the New Testament. I used to read the Old Testament like common folklore - in my eyes it wasn't the word of god, and if someone truly believed that, they were an idiot. To be honest, I didn't think anyone really took the creation story or the great flood literally until I began following events in America. You really have a big chunk of your population who are completely retarded. MarcusCicero 09:28, 17 December 2007 (EST)
  • I read the whole thing cover to cover (took about three years). Czolgolz 12:23, 17 December 2007 (EST)
  • Read most of the Torah in various translations and parts in Hebrew. Read other bits of the Tanakh. Read Matthew and other fragments of NT. It really is quite boring, but I do enjoy the historic and textual analyses. Given its enormous influence and historical significance, it's a rather important book.--PalMD-If it looks like a donut, eat it 18:22, 17 December 2007 (EST)
  • Bits and pieces. I can never get over quite how much of a cunt Old Testament God is - just plain mean - and I'm especially fond of reading Revelation out loud in a Southern Baptist kinda voice to anyone who'll listen. Always good fun. I'm agnostic in the sense that the question's unanswerable (verification transcendent's the posh term, if memory serves), but if there is a god, then all the evidence suggests that it doesn't give a fuck about us. --Robledo 20:05, 17 December 2007 (EST)
    • Yeah, OT God is a lot like Santa from the "claymation" Rudolf. Don't believe me? Go watch Rudolph again. --Edgerunner76 14:52, 10 January 2008 (EST)
  • I've read at least half of the Bible. It's quite a piece of work to read it. I just can't really get how only one Gospel says "you're healed go tell everyone," and the others say "you're healed, go tell no one." Even with any crazy POV shift possible, you can't change that. In debates and questions regarding the meaning of the Bible, I like to be able to look at the English version (a modern one, but I quote from KJV, just because the ULTRAconservatives like it that way), as well as the original Lutheran in German, and the Vulgate. It gives you a more accurate approach to the understanding, where each strikes a line and all three narrow down the meaning further than any either one individually. (See: Triangulation for the idea applied to geography.) --Eira yay! 20:35, 17 December 2007 (EST)
  • Nope. Never. At least not in any way that I would consider reading. I'm much more of a prose person. The writing style of the Bible is simply horrid. On the other hand, I have looked into the encyclopedic version of everything in the Bible. Just because I don't care doesn't mean that I don't understand. Oh yeah, I consider myself a Philosophical Taoist (or, at least, I'm trying). --Edgerunner76 14:48, 10 January 2008 (EST)
  • I've read a lot of the Bible, some parts more than once, more for historical, cultural and literary reasons than for inspiration. It really is a fascinating document of human evolution (!), containing some beautiful poetry and insight along with the vengeful god stuf, and the outmoded views of the world that include such things as how to beat your slave properly. Rational Edthink! 11:17, 15 May 2008 (EDT)
  • I've read every word of it, most of it more than once. I was raised in an uber strict Catholic household and I was required to read at least half an hour each night. I think that the more I read of it, the less I believed. It just didn't seem to make as much sense when I read it for myself compared to when the priest talked about it. --Damo2353 10:26, 13 July 2008 (EDT)
  • I've read a fair bit. My high school education was all christian, for some reason (I decided I was an atheist at about the age of 8 and my parents are agnostic) and so I had my own copy of the bible and that was fully accepted as something you could just whip out and read if you were bored of class. I flicked through Revelations in class one day, then as my mum was driving me home from the bus stop I told her "Mum, the guy who wrote Revelations was crazy. What introduced doubt into my mind when I was 13 (the only time I've ever seriously considered religion as possibly real) wasn't the bible, but the belief of the people around me. Wazza (Not Wazzock, Wazza)Approach the Presence 19:51, 25 November 2008 (EST)
  • Yup, cover to cover. The early bits are spectacular as myth, the middle part is painfully dry but interesting as history, and the last bits are spectacular as literature and poetry. But I'm not ready to throw the Bible on the nonfiction shelves yet.Barryap 02:45, 3 April 2009 (EDT)

I started reading it before college started, I plan to finish it in four weeks when the semester ends. Mr. Swift (talk) 20:35, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

  • I have, cover to cover. Sen (talk) 21:59, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
  • I am from a catholic family, went to a catholic school and have sung in a curch choir for several years. So yes, I did read the not-so-good-book from time to time. Sometimes it just gave me headaches, sometimes nightmares. Gmb (talk) 22:09, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
  • Yep. KJV, cover to cover. Thought the ending was a bit obvious, but at least the butler didn't do it.--Stunteddwarf Spirit of the Cherry Blossom 00:19, 10 May 2010 (UTC)
  • Mine is in the bathroom ( with a Gita and the book of Mormon). I Read them regularly. The book of Jeremy is terrifying. Alain (talk) 02:51, 10 May 2010 (UTC)
  • Even Leviticus 86.169.22.97 (talk) 20:46, 8 August 2010 (UTC)
  • I've read all of Genesis and some other early parts, but I haven't picked it up in years because its too boring for me. --Onion Hi! :) 00:10, 13 August 2010 (UTC)
  • I've read the whole thing. More than once. I used to be a devout Baptist. Does he think Atheists grow up in a vacuum? Quaruentropy - You can't explain that! 00:17, 13 August 2010 (UTC)
  • As I was raised in a fundamentalist family, I have read the Bible several times, cover to cover, plus endured hundreds of hours of "Bible Study" where I was told why my reason was wrong and their "twist everything so it doesn't sound bad" approach was right. VOXHUMANA 00:05, 5 August 2012 (UTC)

Theists[edit]

  • Not all of it, I must admit. On the other hand, I've read other parts in several different languages, so I guess it all evens out in the end. --AKjeldsenGodspeed! 18:53, 16 December 2007 (EST)
  • I've been through it a few times, though not cover to cover (the middle bit gets a bit stale) but Pentateuch and the New Testament are interesting. It's been my experience that most people that deconvert from religion tend to go through a period where they consume a lot of religious information when deciding whether or not to believe in anything. I went through that process, and ultimately decided not to give up my faith. The Bible didn't convince me though, and indeed I am not a Christian. Stile4aly 19:30, 16 December 2007 (EST)
  • Not in its entirety; but I like to think that I'm quite versed in it, and I'm probably more acquainted than most with the more abstract theological implications. --Linus(plot evil tech) 23:16, 16 December 2007 (EST)
  • Read the Pentateuch, some of the other Tanakh books (Job, Judges, Ruth, Ecclesiastes, Psalms, Proverbs, Isaiah, Nehemiah), all of the Gospels (read the four synoptic, skimmed over the other Epistles), and Revelations. Theist in the sense that I cannot deny the existence of some sort of higher power - not the Christian God. --Ζωροάστρης 01:20, 17 December 2007 (EST)
  • Jesus didn't read the Bible. Ajkgordon 09:11, 17 December 2007 (EST)
  • Do Catholics fit in Theists or Weirdos? Anyway, Catholics are not required to read the Bible, even if in Sunday Saturday school reading it was encouraged. Ed @Thanks SusanG for my nick 09:40, 17 December 2007 (EST)
  • I read the whole thing once. Whuh. It's hard work getting through 1 + 2 Chronicles, although the prophets (esp Isaiah) and evangelists (esp John) are the best bit. -- מְתֻרְגְּמָן וִיקִי שְׁלֹום!
  • I once read a picture-book children's bible. A is for Ark, Z is for...did Noah have Zeebras? Also, per that guy above me, do we Catholics go here or in the weirdo section? (Dunno how I found this place, prolly a link to it from uncyclopedia...) –66.31.174.231 23:47, 18 December 2007 (EST)
  • All of it.Tolerance 12:39, 15 May 2008 (EDT)
  • Well, I started to, but found myself fading away during Numbers. Aboriginal Noise Oh, you want to hit people with garbage cans? 20:43, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

Pagans (of various sorts)[edit]

  • I've read most of the New Testament, and bits and pieces of the Old (King James Version). Which I think is about opposite of what most evangelicals do. Paul turned me off finishing the NT, he was so distasteful to me and really not a compelling writer. --Kels 20:40, 16 December 2007 (EST)
  • As anyone who reads my userpage will see, I'm a former fundamentalist Christian. As such, I've read from Genesis to Psalms (got bogged down there--I don't have rhythm), and then most of Proverbs and Song of Solomon. I've picked up most of the stories between that and the prophets, thought the only Prophets book I've read all the way through was Malachi. I've probably read all of the Gospels at this point (mostly skimming), along with Acts. I'm fuzzier on the epistles (though I loved Ephesians as a kid because of the "armor of righteousness" imagery), but I've read Revelations over and over again. (I've also read bits of the Coptic and Gnostic gospels, but a lot of those are even harder than the Christian ones. I've also tried to start the Koran, and have read the Tao Te Ching and the Chuangzi. (Couldn't stand the Analects.) I've read the Eddas and a few other mythologically significant texts, so I have a wide range to draw from. Researcher 16:41, 17 December 2007 (EST)
  • I've read it. Knowing your Bible is vital for arguing with those idiots - sometimes you'll find you know it better that they do. I went to a Church of England school (not terribly brainwashy - the CofE doesn't do dogmatism very well) so I was spoonfed Bible stories from the start. - but to me they were always just...well..stories. Then I read Jack Chick, who taught me that rock music was made by witches, and I'm now a pagan. Cheers Jack! Totnesmartin 13:27, 2 August 2008 (EDT)
  • I'm Wiccan but grew up as a Lutheran, so obviously I've read a good chunk of the Bible, even though it has mostly focused on the Parts That Actually Make Sense. I've read most of the Gospels (though I can say I've only read Luke through-and-through), and bits and pieces here and there. Moses' Law quickly made me think "no one does this stuff here, so it's got to be a little bit unimportant". The Revelation made me think "okay, this is REALLY weird" (not in a good or bad way, just confused). Ecclesiastes is my favourite OT book, despite of it's grimness, because it's so beautifully written (and in case I get depressed, it's always fun to read about someone who's even more depressed =) As for the part I haven't read, I have to thank our excellent school system for good overview of what I missed, so I have at least a basic idea of what the Bible really teaches about the rest of the stuff. (A fun reminder our American fundamentalist friends: There are parts of the world where schools have religious classes, mostly taught by those no-good liberal theologians =) And for the record: Even when I don't believe in Christian salvation, I think Jesus had a lot of wise and insightful things to say. In summary - big parts of the Bible are dreadful outdated/incoherent/boring stuff, but some parts are just brilliant - and I don't really know why on Earth certain people focus so much on the dreadful stuff even at the expense of the brilliant stuff. --wwwwolf (barks/growls) 18:26, 25 November 2008 (EST)
  • I have read Genesis, the Gospels, and Revelation from cover-to-cover; also large sections of Exodus and certain epistles. While speaking with a couple of fundamentalists who pretended to be interested in debating religion, on the strength of what I learned in those readings, I managed to get them to start gibbering about how I would soon be cooking on God's barbecue. Excellent giggle-value. Mjollnir.svgListenerXTalkerX 12:01, 9 January 2009 (EST)

Weirdoes[edit]

  • I've read it. The more I read the Bible (Especially the Old Testament), the more sensible Discordianism seems. --Gulik 01:33, 17 December 2007 (EST)
  • I've read it long ago as a child, when my parents forced me to for Lutheran confirmation. Naturally, forcing me made me turn away from it and distorted my views and beliefs. Even then I questioned the inconsistencies and hypocrisy, and I'm thankful I can't even remember a single passage. NorsemanWassail! 03:15, 17 December 2007 (EST)
  • Yes, I've read it. Part of my religious education at Anglican schools from age 7 to 18. And, of course, I've been exposed to it since then on a regular basis through church and cultural background. Ajkgordon 04:24, 17 December 2007 (EST)
  • Yes (King James Version), along with the Book of Mormon and part of the Koran - signed I Eat Glue logged off 164.58.23.250 12:58, 17 December 2007 (EST)
  • Yes, I've read it. Partly due to attending a Catholic school and partly due to travelling a lot on business. Some fellow called Gidgeon keeps leaving his copy in my room. Probably give it a D- overall but the pages from the small red Gidgeons bibles they hand out in school make a great substitute for rolling papers so maybe revise that to a D. HexspecimenIt's an X 13:30, 17 December 2007 (EST)
  • Aye, I've read most of the New Testament, but I gave up reading the OT after the Five books of Moses, save for a brief excursion to Solomon's books.-- Offeep 21:28, 17 December 2007 (EST)
  • Genesis. I plan to read more. -75.89.115.231 13:33, 10 January 2008 (EST)

Ignostics[edit]

  • Sheeeeeit, I wrote the Bible, I just don't have the memory handy at the moment. In all "seriousness", I've probably read between 20% to 97% of the Bible with a margin of error of 8% to 13%. Having been raised by Christian fundies and gone to a few private Christian/Catholic schools my brain is filled with an embarrassing number of Biblical memes. Nowadays I do Bible searches mostly for critical purposes or to find prophecies about Lumeno and authoritative justifications for benevolent morals. ~ Lumenos (talk) (other talk pages: LI1, LI2, WP) 00:40, 9 August 2010 (UTC)

I've never read it[edit]

  • Who's with me?--Closer government 09:34, 17 December 2007 (EST)
  • Er, me, apparently... now I feel I have to read it to fit in with all the "cool kids"... UchihaKATON! 12:36, 17 December 2007 (EST)
  • Hay guyz. (Though I was considering starting soon.) NightFlare 16:10, 17 December 2007 (EST)
  • I guess I'm down here too. --Edgerunner76 14:56, 10 January 2008 (EST)
  • Beyond the occasional passage. I would have been more interested if it was marketed as a book of myths and legends. Wisest word Phantom Hoover! 21:37, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

I've read part of it[edit]

  • I guess I am one of those "inbetween" people. K61824Ed Poor types in Chinese? 18:31, 29 May 2009 (UTC)
  • never read it cover to cover cause its fairly dull in spots. I think I know many of the hot spots in it. Hamster (talk) 21:24, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
  • I remember getting a free copy at school during fourth grade (99-00). I read genesis and thats it. Also read a whole book of Bible stories out of the school library. (Suck on that Andy! I went to a public school in socialist Canada!)--Thanatos (talk) 22:33, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
  • I actually read a sizable amount of it in an english class in my US public school. Tetronian you're clueless 00:01, 10 May 2010 (UTC)
  • I read it actually on Conservapedia. It just helped me understand how moronic they are. rational ghey (send a message) 02:24, 10 May 2010 (UTC)
  • IIRC, I got to the book of Psalms before becoming distracted for some reason. Upto the point I stopped reading, the stories were interesting and provided a good history of the religion, as well showing practices that were performed by Judaism; later declared obsolete by the New Testament. A few years later, the subversions from the same Catholic school finally caught up, causing me to turn away from religion - and it was quite possible I could have remained a believer that a God created the Big Bang. --Sigma 7 (talk) 03:44, 10 May 2010 (UTC)
  • I read most of it - revelation was my favourite. Acei9 03:46, 10 May 2010 (UTC)
  • Only the bits I translated for the CBP. Quite dull, I can't imagine reading the whole thing. --Benod (talk) 03:48, 10 May 2010 (UTC)

See Also[edit]