Valentina Gomez

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“”So refreshing to see a female GOP candidate who never served in the military doing the whole veteran cosplay, stolen valor, bigotry as a substitute for strength routine as well as any man.

—Former Missouri Secretary of State Jason Kander

“”I serve Jesus Christ and the people of Missouri. My brother is a current service member, and the vest is to make my runs harder. You should probably get one too since you suck at baseball.

—Valentina Gomez's nonsensical reply to Kander's tweet

Valentina Gomez (born Valentina Gomez Noriega; May 8, 1999) is an American far-right businesswoman and financier who ran as a candidate for Missouri Secretary of State in 2024. Her campaign followed the Lauren Boebert style of political campaigning perfectly: act irrationally hateful and look hot. It didn't work.

Biography

Valentina Gomez was born on May 8, 1999, in Colombia and grew up in Jersey City, New Jersey. Her family emigrated from Colombia in 2009. She graduated with a bachelor's degree from Central Connecticut State University in 2019 and a Master of Business Administration from Tulane University in 2020. She was also a Division I College Swimmer.

She worked as a finance employee working for Nestlé until June 3. 2024. Gomez stated her that her employer Nestlé Purina tried to keep her quiet about attacking LGBTQ books in libraries. In February, Gomez took a flamethrower to two LGBTQ library books in a campaign video, Gomez went on to state she 'fired' her employer.

According to her, she only trusts three things: the Bible, the social media platform X - "Thank you, Elon Musk" - and her AR-15.

2024 Missouri Secretary of State campaign

Gomez launched her campaign for Missouri Secretary of State in November 2023. She doubts the legitimacy of the results of the 2020 U.S. presidential election, and has promised to ban BLOW UP voting machines in the state of Missouri if elected. (One wonders whether or not that promise has anything to do with a certain pillow salesman). She also wants to deploy the National Guard to oversee Missouri's elections. Please forget for a moment that the Missouri Secretary of State doesn't even have that power.

These promises, which are pretty much just basic American far-right positions taken to the extreme, have enabled her to gain both popularity among Missouri Republicans and endorsements from several conservative firebrand figures, including current U.S. Representative Matt Gaetz, who actually took the time to claim that there was "not another Secretary of State candidate in America possessing the energy of Valentina Gomez." (What?) and former U.S. Representative George Santos.

From nobody to MObody

Gomez's rise to far-right stardom began on February 6, 2024, when she posted a video on X showing her burning two LGBT books called: "Queer: The Ultimate LGBTQ Guide for Teens", and "Naked: Not Your Average Sex Encyclopedia" with a homemade flamethrower. For some strange, unfathomable reason, people freaked out. It's almost like she promised in the video to burn all "grooming books" in all of Missouri's public libraries upon getting elected or something. Oh wait — she did:

This is what I will do to the grooming books when I become secretary of state. These books come from a Missouri public library. When I’m in office, they will burn.

She actually said this.

Some people reacted by comparing the video to — what else? — the mass book burnings that took place in Nazi Germany. Others compared it to the novel Fahrenheit 451. Kathy Belge, co-author of one of the books burned, said Americans “should be concerned that a candidate for public office not only thinks book burning is acceptable, but that it is something that will help her get elected.”

On February 14-15, 2024, 706 Missouri Republicans were asked who they planned to vote for in the Republican primary of the 2024 Missouri Secretary of State election. Out of the eight candidates, Valentina Gomez came in third with 10%, which sounds great until you realize that the first-place finisher came in with 12%. 56% of those polled said they were undecided.

On May 12, 2024, Gomez's fame reached its peak (hopefully) when she released a somewhat less extreme (in the sense that a bee sting hurts somewhat less than a wasp sting) video on both X and Instagram of her jogging through the Soulard district of St. Louis, a heavily LGBT populated area, wearing a fitness vest (which many mistook for a bulletproof vest) and shorts, saying:

In America, you can be anything you want, so don’t be weak and gay. Stay fucking hard.

Her video quickly went viral, receiving at least 3 million views within four days. Democrats lost their cool because the video (1) insulted gay people for literally no reason whatsoever, and (2) looked just plain stupid. Many average Republicans just ignored the video for obvious reasons, but the far-right fell absolutely in love with her. The Gateway Pundit called her video "epic," and claimed that it was "pretty funny if you have a sense of humor unlike the libs." InfoWars also praised her for being "quite bold." The comment sections of both articles are filled with people either praising her for her looks or her "courage," or claiming that Republicans shouldn't like her because she's from Colombia.

Instagram removed her video, causing her to claim to be "one of the most suppressed voices of Instagram" along with former U.S. president Donald Trump.

Shortly after the video's release, the Pit Viper company asked Gomez to stop using their sunglasses in her social media videos. She responded by calling the company "weak and gay." She also called Lupe Fiasco "weak and gay" after Lupe protested one of her songs ("The Show Goes On") being used in the video.

Imitating Ben Shapiro

On June 1, 2024, two days after Donald Trump was convicted of felony falsification of business records, Gomez appeared on a music video with conservative rap artist Hi-Rez. The song was titled "America First," but featured the hashtag, "#FreeTrump." In the video, Gomez raps:

"I am America First / Not benefiting my purse / I never sell out the people to raise my net worth / The Second Amendment is there to always protect my First / A better rapper than Lupe Fiasco and I don't even have to curse / Let's Keep the American Dream alive and put an end to all lies / BLM raised billions and what did they do for Black lives? / Politicians promise you the whole world then they backslide / What happened to Hunter's laptop? You know I'm always strapped up / Gun rights are women's rights / Feminists based on a lie / You can mess around and find out / Play stupid games, win a stupid prize.

She shared the video on X with the caption, "This is how to rap @benshapiro Facts don’t care about your feelings. America First w/ @HiRezTheRapper." As odd as it sounds, her music video is actually better than Shapiro's "Facts", mainly because she (1) didn't wear any goofy hoodies in it, and (2) is never recorded as having ever called rap "not music" or calling people who like rap "stupid."

Associations with the alt-right

See the main article on this topic: Alt-right

On January 6, 2024, she posed for a picture with Jacob Chansley. Yes, the Jacob Chansley. The guy who pretended to be a buffalo at the U.S. Capitol. That day exactly three years earlier. That guy. She also endorsed his bid for Congress that same day.

On May 3, 2024, Gomez praised white nationalist Nick Fuentes's reinstatement on X, saying "Long live the First Amendment." On May 19, 2024, Gomez again wrote approvingly of Fuentes, saying that "we may have some differences but putting America First unites us." (Does Gomez view Charles Lindbergh as having been a fellow patriot too?)

Just to put icing on her cringey campaign's cake, Gomez made sure to tag manosphere influencers Andrew and Tristan Tate on her "don't be weak and gay" post.

Other cringey things she has said/done

Gomez pretended to shoot a stormtrooper in one video. If the Galactic Empire decides to invade Earth in 2025, do not fear, Missourians! Valentina Gomez will save the day! (As long as she's Secretary of State, of course.)

She managed to film herself next to Jordan Peterson, Joe Rogan and Vivek Ramaswamy. Our guess is that she went up to them saying something like, "Oh, Mr. Peterson/Rogan/Ramaswamy! I'm a big fan! Can I get a picture with you?" They said yes, not having a clue who she was, and now she's deceptively using those pictures to imply that those three famous conservative figures actually want her to be Missouri's next Secretary of State.

She's constantly filming herself running marathons. Question: do the duties of Secretary of State require anything related to running, or even much physical skill at all? Answer: NO.

She's also constantly filming herself shooting an AR-15.^{[citation NOT needed]} Her shooting ability is just as relevant to the race as her marathon attendance.

In Gomez's America, you can be anything you want... except a pro-Palestine protester. Be that and she'll shoot you.

On May 29, 2024, Gomez said in a tweet about Pride Month, "Why don’t we have a month celebrating American nationalism? Or a Family Month? Or Pussy Month, for all the pussies out there like Don Lemon."

One June 3, 2024, she "fired" her employer — Nestlé Purina PetCare — and recommended that her followers "feed your dogs something that is not weak and gay.” Just one day earlier, she claimed that the NFL football team Kansas City Chiefs "are joining me in the fight against the weak and gay agenda.” (Do you believe that?)

Why is she so popular?

How did a nobody running for Secretary of State actually get so popular among the far-right? Brandon Morse, a writer for the website RedState, has at least part of the answer: spite.

In the article, Morse makes the case for his belief that spite is "the most powerful of human emotions." This emotion is the main factor behind the rise of what Morse calls "the anti-PC right." He explains Gomez's unexpected popularity this way:

Why [are Gomez's videos] so attractive to so many people?

Spite.

The woke left pushed the pendulum so far that people are hungry for the return swing at this point. Truth be told, it's hard to blame some of these people. Many are seeing this pushback as a sign that the tyrannical grip of the social justice left is weakening and they just don't have the power they used to.

Despite holding far-right beliefs himself, Morse does not endorse Gomez's campaign, as:

[S]hock for the sake of shock has a really short shelf life if history tells us anything. Moreover, saying anti-PC things isn't a policy position or indicative of how well someone will hold an office. People shouldn't base their desire to vote for someone solely on how well they piss off the left, as fun as it is to do so.

According to Morse, "nearly everyone is sick and tired of the left's 'morality' policing," so "they're ready to just start spouting off whatever offends [people on the left] for the sake of offending them." Gomez's campaign proves this, as it is "a strong rebuke against the woke left and an indication of just how spiteful people are." Morse also notes that spite is a big factor behind Donald Trump's popularity as well as Gomez's. In fact, that may just be the main answer.

Gomez is the Donald Trump (albeit a young Hispanic female version of him) of the 2024 Missouri Secretary of State election. Most of her supporters know perfectly well that she won't be able to burn all the library books they don't like or place National Guardsmen on every polling place every time Missouri has an election. They know this the same way that most Trump supporters knew in 2016 that he would never actually "lock her up." They don't care about whether she actually follows her promises; what they do care about is that she made those promises — and edgy rhetoric — in the first place. They're angry at "the woke left," and Valentina Gomez has made it clear that she's angry too. None of the seven other candidates are doing that, so they obviously "aren't as courageous" as Gomez. Thus, she's the best choice for Missouri Secretary of State. That's literally how her supporters' logic works.

To summarize, Gomez's supporters like her because, just like themselves, she drinks beer, shoots guns, and loves to trigger liberals.

Personal life

Gomez lives in St. Louis, Missouri and owns a home in the Benton Park neighborhood. Gomez is a real estate investor, financier, strategist, former NCAA Division I swimmer and she earned an MBA in Finance and Strategy from Tulane University.