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Fun:Mississippi

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Alabama's got me so upset, Tennessee's made me lose my rest, and everybody knows about Mississippi, goddam!
—Nina Simone
Too bad coins don't have colors!

Bigotssippi Mississippi has one simple role in the United States: stopping Texas and Alabama from coming in fiftieth in measures of quality of life, health care results, education, and other such evidences of civilisation. It is a proud member of Jesusland. Oh, and also it was the last state to ratify the 13th Amendment on Febuary 7th, 2013.[1] Yes, Fucking 2013! (In all fairness, this was, for all intents and purposes, symbolic.)

Motto: "Shit, Texas beat us again!?"

Nickname: "The Magnolia State"

Mississippi was a part of the land that the US got from Britain for winning a war in the late 1700s. A small slice was later bought from Napoleon and another bit "annexed" from Spain.

Much later, in the 1960s, Mississippi was a massive battle ground in the civil rights movement. It is only now bringing many Klan related killers to justice (assuming that they didn't get the benefit of jury nullification in the 60s). Unfortunately, there are still instances where they're not getting the message, such as when a white Baptist congregation refused to let a black couple get married in their church.[2] Mississippi also has a law very similar to HB2, but it didn't cause any controversy because we pretty much expect it from them at this point.[3] Also, it took one school until 2010 to allow all races to run for student government,[4] and finally ended school segregation this year.[5]

Things Mississippi ranks 50th in[edit]

  • HDI.[6]
  • Per capita GDP.[6]
  • Life expectancy.[6]
  • General health.[7]
  • Science and engineering readiness.[8]
  • Abolition of slavery.[9]

Things Mississippi ranks 1st in[edit]

The Great Disgrace[edit]

One of the most dubious achievements of Mississippi was to have its own secret police agency, the Mississippi Sovereignty Commission, charged with the responsibility to enforce the subordination of the black majority within the state to ensure that Mississippi would not need comply with the 1st, 4th, 13th, 14th, and 15th Amendments to the Constitution of the United States of America. It spied upon anyone who resisted segregationism and often shared intelligence with White Citizens Councils and the Ku Klux Klan. The second incarnation of the Klan dominated Mississipian politics for its entire history.

Mississippi in popular culture[edit]

Folk singer Phil Ochs penned a song at the height of the Civil Rights Movement about Mississippi's general backwardness, titled "Here's to the State of Mississippi." In each stanza, Ochs criticizes an aspect of the state stuck in the past century (the police, the laws, the churches, etc.). Eight stanzas, six minutes, and he doesn't run out of material to rag on the state for.

Whoa, here's to the land you've torn out the heart of / Mississippi find yourself another country to be part of!

Mississippi's claim to fame is that it has substantial contributions to American music, with jazz, blues, and rock all having roots in the state. The state's tourism agency will never let you forget this.

If you believe the Doobie Brothers, it also has gorgeous moonlight that will make everything all right.

Other Mississippians[edit]

Footnotes[edit]