Theodore Shoebat

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Not to be confused with the shit tree this particular shit apple fell from, Walid Shoebat, Randy.

Theodore Shoebat, real name Theodore Salameh, a self-admitted "Christian Militant", is an extremist dominionist anti-gay, misogynist, islamophobic member of the "American Taliban" who manages to make his father seem relatively sane in comparison. He is so extreme that even other radical Christian homophobes want nothing to do with him. His modus operandi includes over-the-top articles and videos in which he calls for the execution of homosexuals and people who even slightly disagree with his worldview. Unsurprisingly, he is an out-and-proud fascist, who admires Francisco Franco (who is still dead).

Views Love for destruction

“”Execute Order 66

—Teddy [citation NOT needed]

On non-Christians

Shoebat openly opposes freedom of religion, has called for atheist books to be burned and believes blasphemers should be "burned at the stake" (thus proving Heine's famous quote about book burning at least in words). In 2016, in the US.

Shoebat has seemingly inherited radical islamophobia from his fraudulently "ex-terrorist" father. In reality, Shoebat's views on homosexuals are even more in line with radical Islamists than those of his father ever were. Nevertheless, Shoebat has attempted to justify this hypocrisy by groundlessly claiming that Islam and ISIS are "homosexual cults". He does this by cherry picking the LGBT accepting parts of Islam, whilst completely ignoring the parts of Islam which argue for the same policies he does regarding gay people (i.e., death). Shoebat also believes that, after the fall of Yugoslavia, Christian Serbs were being persecuted by Bosnian Muslims, and calls Western intervention in the Bosnian war "terrorism". Despite this, Shoebat has praised ISIS for murdering "Satanists" in Paris.

He also once called for an invasion of India (presumably by the US) to forcibly convert the predominately Hindu population to Christianity, and for SWAT teams to shut down yoga studios...

On homosexuals

Shoebat's views on Islam are puzzling, considering how he and radical Muslims agree on the vast majority of issues. Like Islamists, he supports his religion dominating the world, and also like them, he routinely calls for the execution of homosexuals and anyone who falls outside of his worldview. He also hypocritically speaks about "gay sharia" and "homo tyranny."

Shoebat idolises medieval views on homosexuality, supporting an "inquisition" with the goal of exterminating them. He also openly supports vigilantes in Eastern European countries who attack LGBT people.

After he claimed that Jesus would personally kill gay people, numerous anti-gay activists (including former allies of his) denounced him, which caused him to allege a supposed "inquisition" targeting him in order to make him renounce his views. Walid came to his son's defense by declaring that it was actually Jesus who destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah. Therefore, Teddy was only being biblically accurate in stating that Jesus would personally beat homosexuals to death, if given the chance.

Without any sense of irony, Shoebat has complained of homosexuals sending him death threats, and in the same article claimed that 'All' homosexuals wanted to kill all Christians.

Theodore believes the 2016 Orlando massacre was wrong because 'The State', not Omar Mateen, should have 'killed the sodomites,' this time by firing squad. It appears more than one method of execution excites him.

On transgender people

Shoebat wants the publishers of National Geographic tortured because they featured a nine-year-old transgender girl on their cover and Shoebat called the girl "Little Nazi Hitler".

Shoebat has called transgender children "utterly wicked". He believes that parents who are accepting should be executed, and the children should be forced into conversion therapy and then stoned to death if they don't stop identifying as trans.

On women

Shoebat has stated women should be banned from voting and holding office.

On other Christians

When Theo learned that the tacitly Christian fried chicken franchise Chick-fil-a distanced themselves from anti-gay marriage statements made by the chain's owner, as well as sponsored an LGBTQ film festival, Theo declared that all employees of Chick-fil-a should be (you guessed it!) "burned at the stake". To be fair, Teddy thinks that all Christians who don't believe that every LGBTQ person should be killed should themselves also be executed. Theon called Peter LaBarbera (a warrior against "homofascism" and head of Americans for Truth About Homosexuality) a "filthy pig" and "demonoid" after LaBarbara rebutted that genocide might not be the most Christian thing to do. Shoebat is also probably a lot of fun at dinner parties.

Donald Trump

He was a Trump supporter, and stated he wanted Trump to execute Muslims.

Shoebat wanted Trump to enact legislation to have gays executed (despite Mike "Your One Stop Shop for Lopping off Fops" Pence being far more likely to be the actual mastermind behind such a plot if it were to somehow happen).

After his idol called for the punishing of women who undergo abortions, Shoebat was quick to outdo him by calling women who undergo abortions "sluts", and, in true Shoebat fashion, called for their execution by firing squad. Shoebat wanted Trump to enact legislation to have abortionists executed.

Shoebat fully supported Trump when he said that he wanted to murder the families of members of ISIS to strike at them emotionally.

Despite how awful Donald Trump is and was, there was no indication that he intended to execute gays, Muslims, or women who have abortions. Trump in fact waved a rainbow flag (or in Shoebat's words, "that faggot flag") at one of his rallies, to which Shoebat responded by renouncing his endorsement. You can probably guess what he said he wanted after that.

Sir Theodore Shoebat

As said before, he greatly admires medieval Christianity, and seems to justify (among other things done by the medieval Catholic Church) the genocide of Cathars, Waldensians, and other heretical Christian sects by the Catholic Church on account of their 'false beliefs', and he chides evangelical Christian leaders for condemning the genocide.

Shoebat seems to support a full return to the Middle Ages, praising it for its lack of a 'fag problem', even supporting a return to absolute monarchy. In a post which only he could have made, Teddy called for a new 'crusade' against Islam, claiming 'God wants one'.

Shoebat also believes 'witchcraft' is a serious problem, and (surprise surprise) wants its 'practitioners' to be put to death. He has also hosted claims on his website about Hillary Clinton using black magic to gain popularity and wants her to be put to death.

Ukraine and Russia

Theodore supports the Russian invasion of Ukraine, and has posted articles and videos absolutely filled with Russian propaganda. Given his history, it is highly likely he would like to see all Ukrainians executed.

Irony

Theodore has attacked noted critic of Islam Ayaan Hirsi Ali for suggesting that Christian fundies can be just as bad as Muslim ones. Teddy is, nevertheless, the living proof that this is true.

A full list of people Ted wants put to death

• Homosexuals

• Anyone who doesn't fully agree with him (especially on executing all homosexuals)

• Muslims

• Women who receive abortions

• Doctors who give abortions

• Gay Priests

• Families of ISIS

• Victims of ISIS

• Blasphemers

• Satanists/Rock bands

• Witches and Wizards

• Hillary Clinton

• Milo Yiannopoulos

• Gavin McInnes

• Everyone who works at Chick-fil-A

• Pamela Geller

• Donald Trump

• Stefan Molyneux, Stephen Bannon, Bill Whittle, Jared Taylor, Richard Spencer

• Transgender children and their parents

• All organisms except him, and his dad, yes including you, your cat, and your dog ^{[citation NOT needed]}

Telling quotes

"In the most national prayer breakfast, Obama diverted the subject from ISIS and began to express his hatred against the Christian Crusades. The reason for this is because Obama hates Christians and Christianity, and is himself a Muslim jihadist. He continues to support Islam while hating Christianity, and heavily funds and supports the jihadists in Syria. His own family are Muslims and work with terrorists."

"Do I believe in democracy? Hell no"

"Democracy. More like Demon crazy. The first attempt at democracy was in the Heaven [sic], when Satan and the demons wanted to reform the government and oust out the King, God. God believes in monarchy, Satan believes in democracy. Hence democracy is demon crazy." (A false analogy, or a play on words? We're still not sure what to call this one.)

“I really have no sympathy for [the victims of the Ariana Grande bombing], the people who died, the people who were injured, the people who were scared out of their minds, who ran away [screaming], I really don’t care. The types of people who go to these concerts are the same types of people who are responsible for the degeneracy that you see in society. They go to these concerts dressed up as whores, dressed up as sluts, they’re pro-sodomite, they’re pro-divorce, they’re pro-infidelity, they want evil, they want decay, they want sodomy, they want Sodom and Gomorrah.”

See also

• Kevin Swanson
• Bradlee Dean
• Rousas John Rushdoony
• Traditionalist Catholicism (which Teddy promotes an extreme version of)
• Dostoyevsky's The Grand Inquisitor; it's easy to imagine Ted in the role of the title character