Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?

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Keep up to date with what is going on at the extremist blog Conservapedia with our rolling reports of the bizarre happenings there. We report; you decide which entries make it to the Best of Conservapedia! If you are contributing for the first time please read the instruction manual. For the older entries, see the archives.

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What is going on?

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More about CP

March 2021

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1LT says CP is currently being infiltrated by some apparent Otisburg wandal disguising themselves cleverly enough to fool everyone except him.img Remind you much of this guy?
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6Gentleman  K e n  D o l l : "I AM NOT OBSESSED, I AM NOT OBSESSED, I AM NOT OBSESSED"
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6So much for owning the libs: Conservapedia's Alexa ranking rapidly tumbles. Is this the end for them?

February 2021

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13RobSmith quits.img
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4LTimg becomesimg Kendollimg 2.0img.
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18It's snowing in the Deep Red State of Texas, and the unregulated power grid has collapsed. Luckily, Andy's on the case, blaming the global warming "hoax," and liberals.img

January 2021

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-25Karajou updates his bio.img
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14Conservapedia’s security certificate expiresimg, causing many people to be unable to access the site without warnings, and mobile users to be unable to access it period. Update: As of 31 January, the site is once again completely inaccessible.
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12A fightimg breaks out between RobS, Pokiera1, and Northwest over a supposed bill to 'persecute conservatives' (it's to arrest Capitol stormers) Highlights include RobS calling Northwest a 'right wing extremist', a collapse box saying "Warning: Take it to RW or whatever hole you crawled out of", and freaking out about reverting the edits of a sysop.
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9CP: DO NOT TRUST QANON!!!!!!!img Also CP: …if Q is not thwarted, thousands of Deep state political leaders would be indicted and jailed!img
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1Signups are finally reopened again! Well, for 4 hours,imguntil someone tried to cite The Daily Stormer as a sourceimg, and spam links to Niggermania (now oversighted).
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16CP is coping hard after Inauguration Day: "There is currently no legitimate president in the White House. Joseph Biden is being claimed by the liberal media, by Big Tech and by the Democrat Party itself to be the 46th and current "president".img
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6 "echo chamber | 1937 |a figurative room with sound-reflecting walls, where people give opinions that influence no one and are heard only by other people who already have their own opinions, such as cable news talk shows" - Andy Schlafly, Founder of Conservapediaimg
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5Setback for Conservapedia's search results on a certain search engine starting with G: New editors are still not allowed to sign up for accountsimg... Isn't it time for Señor Andy to fly the white flag of surrender and shut down his blog??????/????slash/??//slashslashityslash///???slash?????? Will this help with the rapid secularization of America? Gentlemen, I hate to do it, but on behalf of all of atheistdom I declare VICTORY! Olé! Olé! Olé!
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10 Senior Sysop TerryH, who claims to be a medical doctor, says the Covid vaccine may be a "nano-technological device."img
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1 Two of the sites most active editors, Sievert 81img and United Statesimg, have been blocked; the former permanently and the latter for a really long time.
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11 Andy, January 7th 2021: Trump still has a chance to serve a second termimg. If only his inept advisers weren't standing in his way...
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0Andy apparently sees "a [real or perceived] sEhTbAhK 4 tEh VaX" at the most inconvenient of times as something desirableimg- a sure sign of a diseased mind. (He's clueless!)

December 2020

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5 From our very own Rob Smith: the smartest man alive believes the election was stolen....because Satanimg.
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-1A new Conservapedian homeskolled kiddie named User:United States has been obsessing over the infamous IP abuser (or in his words, "INTERNET TERRORIST1111!!!oneoneelventy11one!!111one!!!11!!) his own PC BoN #127.0.0.1, and how our very own User:CircularReasoning "wants to go to Chicago and destroy Conservapedia!!1" (As if anyone here on RW has given a shit about CP since 2014 lmao) He is also notably self-absorbedimg and clearlyimg needsimg professionalimg help.
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-228Conservapedia is still suffering from the issues of the DDoS suffered over two weeks ago.

November 2020

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-53Conservapedia is currently DDoSed as of Nov. 17th... We'd bet a 3-minute block that Karajou'll blame us for it once it's over...

October 2020

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-51In a breathtaking new display of moral bankruptcy, MPR celebrates an alleged fraudster and money launderer posting child porn on the internetimg. Can they go any lower?
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-42Andy takes the Trustworthy Encyclopedia's Main Page Right out into the realms beyond Infowars, screeching about Deep State hospitals, hydroxychloroquine, remdesivir, and inept advisors,img after God-Emperor Trump catches the virus he said "affects virtually nobody."

June 2020

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-36Andy: Attendance at Trump's Tulsa rally was so poor, because people couldn't take hydroxychloroquine to protect themselves.img These being the same people who refused to wear masks, and were expected to sign a form indemnifying the Trump campaign if they fall ill.
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-46"What we've got here..." Andy claims Cool Hand Luke for conservatives: "...admires the refusal of a man ... to allow his spirit to be broken, with religious symbolism. This movie glorifies masculinity and portrays the Deep South favorably.img
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-45CP continues to promote dubious and dangerous hydroxychloroquinone treatment for COVID-19[1]img[2]img despite FDA rescinding its emergency approval and questions about political influence on initial approval.[3][4]

May 2020

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-33TerryH directs our attention to an adorable article proposing genocide of Palestinians.Here it isimg

April 2020

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-28 In today's episode of "Conservapedia's left hand, meet the right hand", MPR hails the people trying to disrupt the lockdown as patriot heroes while, over on the covidiotimg article, they are "narcissists who care only about their own gratification and seeking attention and do not care how their self-centered behavior ends up negatively affecting other people or how bad it makes themselves look to the general public". Stalinists on speed, I tell you.
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-33 Once again, Conservapedia marks the main Christian festival, the focal point of the faith itself, with the same old same old babble. Not one word about the risen Christ and the redemption of mankind. Maybe the MSM is fully covering the resurrection, eh?
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-28The Hill: Why Africa is at Risk of a Catastrophe (Rural Africans with no access to food or health care are ripe for riots. And with no testing, we have no idea about infections.) Andy's synopsis: See libs? Chloroquine works!img

March 2020

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-30Andy: Anthony Fauci is “obstructionist”.img Update: Yikes. That's too crazy for Kenimg and Rob (!)img and - holy shit - the reanimated corpse of Ed muthafuckin' Poor!img

February 2020

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-34RobS knows a good editor cuts unnecessary words, as in: "In 2020 some guy tweeted that Stern vowed, in 2008, to never vote Democrat again, eight years before he supported Hillary." It's pretty much the same.img (The tweet.)
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-34Pokeria1 duz history, faceplants spectacularly: "And don't get me started on Oliver Cromwell, who ... was pretty much the reason why King Henry VIII (!) took a slide into totalitarianism with his trying to have a male heir with his War of the Roses (!!)"img

January 2020

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-33Just when Conservapedia seemed to be entering a death spiral of dullness, our very own RobS gives a stunning display of Dunning Kruger syndromeimg. Keep up the good work, Rob. You could be the next Jerome Corsi.
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-26 Andy is neither weird, obsessive, nor rigid in his thinking. "Setback... for Never-Trumpers!img to Never-Trumpers!img to liberal narrative of "toxic masculinity"!img for vaccine police and Big Pharma!img to pro-aborts!img for conspiracy deniers!img for gun control!img for Dem Establishment!img for communism!img for global warming hoax!img for potheads!img for global warming hoax!img for the liberal media and Nancy Pelosi!img to MeToo movement!img for global warming alarmism!img for Nike's pro-communist globalism!img to Overrated Sports Stars!img for feminists!img for Never Trumpers!img to liberal censorship!img to global warming hoax!img for Darwinists!img for Never Trumpers!img

December 2019

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-29Conservative values: Andy faps over Eddie Gallagher's manly war crimes and "lovely" wife,img whilst the Saudi regime gets a finger-wagging for the "apparently commanded" Khashoggi killing.img

November 2019

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-27Pokeria1 says the quiet part out loud: Why not just nuke them out of existence and wipe out Islam, which if you ask me is probably the better strategy knowing that both Shia and Sunni variants are pure evil?img Now with added fascist delusions of grandeur! Once the Communists are destroyed, I'm making sure that in its place is a Christian theocracy...img

October 2019

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-15Trump, in his great & unmatched wisdom, decides to enrage the jurors in his impending impeachment trial. Blackout drunk on the Kool-Aid, Andy declares victory: Massive setback to neocons and other globalists: Trump is pulling U.S. troops out of Syria.img

September 2019

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-9 Andy: The Pagan NFLimg shows how little they care about the sport by firing an accused rapist.img

August 2019

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12 Andy: Liberals hate chess, because feminists can't explain why all the best players are men.img

July 2019

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5Nobs turns the stupid up to 11: Science is little different than reading the past performance of a horse at the race track. It gives you good clues, but can't forecast if the horse is going to twist an ankle today.img

June 2019

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18Andy duz law, gets pwned: Accordingly, Plaintiff Andrew Schlafly's Second Amended Complaint with Class Action is DISMISSED, in its entirety, with prejudice.
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8Conservapedia attemptsimg to set itself up as a Very Serious Publication and is therefore very truthful. How dare we use humor of any sort in our articles!

May 2019

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4"'Lime Green' was named after limes... The Bible doesn't mention anything about lime green."img Thanks, Conservapedia. Fascinating information.

April 2019

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4Andy draws the obvious parallel between the Dow Jones and Mainpageleft:img "The strength of this basket of these 30 stocks as an investment tool is in the additional productivity of having multiple approaches to a challenge. Our Mainpageleftimg, with its collection of roughly 135 key entries, illustrates a similar approach to developing helpful insights."
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33The recent release of a black hole photograph goes over with Overlord Schlafly about as well as one might expectimg. Using coloration to show infrared is "dishonesty", and his misquoting Stephen Hawking naturally proves his point that his god is more provable than black holes. So, where was that photograph of God again?

March 2019

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4Question Evolution is back!img, along with  K e n  D o l l 's claim to be a team of editors!
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7 Our very own pet Conservapedian and world class bullshitter writes an article of his usual encylcopedic standard on the Christchurch terrorist attack.img Funny how, despite calling it a left wing attack, his subconscious won't let him call it terrorism.
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10According to  K e n  D o l l , atheism is apparently linked to Alzheimer'sConservlogo late april.pngimg. Seriously, how the actual fuck did he come up with this?!

February 2019

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16Setback for atheism: Saint Valentine's Day increases in popularity.img Andy sets the bar for parodists even higher.
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27
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Article on "Paganism": In modern times, pagan rituals include the Super Bowl, certain public school events, and even misnamed holidays like "President's Day."img
Article on "Demonic": An prominent element of uncertainty, as found in football, seems to enable demonic influences to thrive.img (FSTDT link)
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31
 K e n  D o l l  PRESENTS ...
Everything You Always Wanted to Know About John Wayne's Bowels*
(*But Were Afraid to Ask)
"Gentlemen, John Wayne's bowels were as straight as an arrow. All true conservatives have straight bowels. Did John Wayne coroner's report show any gay bowel syndrome? No autopsy was ever done on "The Duke" because nobody ever challenged the straightness of John Wayne's bowels."img
See also: Inoculation against homosexuality

January 2019

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17
\tfrac{1}{\sqrt{2}} \left ( |0\rangle_A \otimes |1\rangle_B - |1\rangle_A \otimes |0\rangle_B \right )
Several parables in the Bible foreshadow the insight of quantum entanglement about paired photons having opposite spin, by contrasting two men in their relationship with God.img The Prodigal Son contrasts two brothers, two churchgoers are contrasted in Luke 18:9–14, and two brothers are further contrasted in Luke 21:28-31. (FSTDT link)
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25 VargasMilan makes irony meters explodeimg everywhere. Surely he is not a deep cover troll?
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21Damn. Killer of Davis, CA cop was not a Muslim. But California has legal pot, so that must be it.img
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43Conservative surpasses 200,000 editsimg, making him responsible for around 13.6% of all edits on Conservapedia (1,470,640 total).
See also: Conservapedia Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (COCD)
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46Increasingly liberal! Andy marches Mormonism out into the parade groundimg, rips offs its epaulettesimg and breaks its sword across his kneeimg.