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Mike "Juicebro" Cernovich (born 1977) is a First Amendment lawyer, MRA, and alt-right Internet tough guy with a plethora of stupid views. He acts as a conspiracy theory popularizer who helped make "Hillary Clinton is dying" into a mainstream issue of "concern". He was the leading promoter of Pizzagate and related pedophilia-baiting, and has supported innumerable less notable conspiracies.
Cernovich doesn't consider himself a member of the alt-right. In particular, he hopes to draw a distinction between a "new right" and the alt-right. For example, he disinvited Baked Alaska from the alt-right/Trump supporter "Deploraball" conference for being too openly Nazi — i.e., talking about the Jewish Question. (Cernovich failed to disinvite noted non-Nazi Richard Spencer.) He also stated:
There is the alt-right which wants to do white identity politics. And there's people … who want to do nationalism without white identity politics. And now everybody knows where I stand and everybody else knows where everybody else is. The alt-right is now Richard Spencer's weird house. I think that I drew the lines and that a lot of people who called themselves alt-right realized they weren't.
Despite that, he fits the movement rather well.
The "alt-right" hasn't killed anyone, but BlackLivesMatter regularly slaughters the innocent.[citation NOT needed] Know the real threat.
Gamergate was the turning point in Cernovich's career, shifting his attention from
whining about demolishing feminism to more political concerns.
Cernovich gave informal legal counsel to Eron Gjoni after Zoe Quinn took him to court for a restraining order to prevent him from goading Gamergate on. Cernovich determined it was unconstitutional, and somehow this justified sending a private investigator to stalk Quinn while she was homeless.
After Gamergate, Cernovich's tweets took a notably more political turn. Cernovich spent his time attacking Black Lives Matter, Obama / Clinton, and "the Media" and grew a substantial following in the process.
Cernovich believes that:
- "The Orlando shooter did not act alone"
- Bill Clinton has an "abandoned black son"
- Vague whining about South African whites.
- Clinton paid people to attend rallies
- "Felons vote Dem. Liberals killed party going all in with SJW/BLM, so the only way to win elections is buying votes."
- Hillary Clinton wanted war with Russia
When questioned about his conspiracist beliefs, Cernovich stated that "I will not say anything that I do not sincerely believe is true." When pressed, he doubled down and Gish Galloped as hard as possible (transcript from Cernovich himself):
Pelley: [You said] "Clinton’s inner circle includes child traffickers pedophiles, and now members of a sex cult." There's no evidence of that.
Cernovich: Well, Lauren Silsby, Hillary Clinton, and her are the inner circle together. Lauren Silsby was arrested in Haiti trying to leave the country with 33 children. Lauren Silsby and her crew were. Hillary Clinton intervened personally and that, right? So that is 100% true. I don't see Donald Trump intervening on behalf of child traffickers. Like Lauren Silsby. So that is true. It does include that inner circle. Dennis Hastert, Jeffrey Epstein. Bill Clinton and Jeffrey Epstein good friends. Jeffrey Epstein is a lifetime registered sex offender. He was convicted of trafficking women who are underage. Great fiend of Bill Clinton. Great friend to Hillary Clinton. So that is part of her inner circle, so that is indeed a true statement.
Pelley: These news stories are fakes.
Cernovich: They're definitely not fake.
Pelley: They're lies.Cernovich: There are not lie at all. 100% true.
On sex and rape
A whore will let her friend ruin your life with a false rape case. So why should I care when women are raped?
Fat/ugly women seek out dominant men to abuse them. Then they seek sympathy from others.
How to tell if someone is a true player? There's a 100% chance he's had a pregnancy scare, and a 25% chance he's had a false rape scare.
It's also anti-rape game. After abusing a girl, I always immediately send a text and save her reply.
Indeed, Cernovich argues that good sex is rape-y:
The hotter the sex, the more closely it resembles rape.
Cernovich also denies Western rape culture, partially denies the possibility of rape, and is apathetic towards solving rape:
Have you guys ever tried "raping" a girl without using force? Try it. It's basically impossible. Date rape does not exist.
When is the last time women organized to support a men's rights issue? Stop being sticks. Who cares about breast cancer and rape? Not me.
If you believe in college rape culture, I understand a lot about you:
Both Cruz and Rubio fell for college rape culture hysteria. As Senators in a Republican-led Senate, they refused to support due process or the rights of men.
- You’re a gullible fool who believes feminists.
- You trust the mainstream media.
- You are afraid to question narratives.
Cernovich also wrote an article entitled "When in Doubt, Whip it Out" for his website, encouraging readers to take their dicks out when women in a pre-sexual situation seem unwilling to increase sexual intimacy.
Cernovich literally thinks semen has addictive properties, cures depression, and prevents women from cheating:
Once they've bad[sic] my "super serum", they don't want anything else. Girls become addicted to cum.
Condoms destroy pair bonding. When you raw dog and share your "super serum," she won't want anything else. "Super serum" is what you give to women to make Captain America babies[sic]. Most addictive drug on market.Semen is a man's life force. If she cheats[,] this means your life force is week[sic], needs rebuilt [sic]. When you have super serum, they never leave.
Stop watching porn and you will see. Most men grew up on porn and have never given a girl a full dose of super serum.
Go a week without watching porn or spilling your seed. Eat clean. Train hard. That is how you make super serum. Girls become addicted.When you eat clean and train hard, a man's semen is more virile. This makes women addicted, also treats their depression.
I am only trolling a little. I rarely watch porn. Google "sexual transmutation of energy." Sounds corny. Try it. It's real.
Unsurprisingly, Cernovich's treatment of his "super serum" has failed to take off in alternative medicine markets (though in fairness, there does seem to be some evidence that semen carries antidepressant properties).
He also blames porn and masturbation upon the Cultural Marxists:
Mastubation [sic] and porn are tools of cultural Marxists. Mastubation [sic] is the opiate of the masses.
Cultural Marxists sex shame and are neo-puritans. They want to criminalize normal sex. Think about it. Cultural Marxists want to criminalize sex. Why?
If you're getting laid regularly, no matter what life throws at you....Everything seems OK. Cultural marxists want to take that from you.Cultural Marxists, as Ezra Klein observes, want you to feel a "cold shiver" when you have sex. Again, why? What is their goal?
When you don't mastubate [sic], your senses are sharper. You become more in touch with your primal instincts.
All power ultimately derives from your sexuality. The more in control of your sexual drive, the more power you have over your life.
Cernovich's beliefs about STDs fall squarely into alternative medicine territory:
Not being a slut is the only proven way to avoid AIDS[sic]. If you love Black women, slut shame them.
Herpes is not a death sentence. I never got it (alpha STD protection), but there are support groups. I was "raw dog for life." Managed to stay STD free. Coconut oil and defense soap (tea tree oil) are essential. Girls today are not about the condoms. That's something from sex+ feminism I fully support! "Anal is the new virginity." Girls with 25+ partner are still saving anal for that special someone. 
On trans people
And surprising nobody, Cernovich doesn't like trans people:
A woman over 40 is indistinguishable from a tranny.
Trump needs someone like me on staff who can explain media traps like tranny restrooms.
Sheen got HIV while sharing dirty needles with tranny hookers. Typical Trump hater.
Cernovich decided to publish a story entitled "What is Sex with a Tranny Like?" on his website. It's exactly as bad as you think it is. Fortunately, Cernovich has clarified that he, too, is transgender: "male-to-male transgender".
“”To beat a person, you lower his or her social status. Logic is pointless. To destroy an institution, you lower its social status.
Cernovich's lifestyle was only possible because he's supported by alimony from his ex-wife. How's that for an alpha male?
More unremitting horror:
- Gorilla Mindset. 2015. ISBN 1514672111
- A very standard "masculinity" self-help book. The book promises to improve your thinking, your health, your fitness, your income, your relationships, your power, your focus, and your posture.
- Danger & Play: Essays on Embracing Masculinity. 2016. ISBN 1519652925
- A guide to "develop a dominate [sic] mindset, lose fat, gain muscle, succeed in business, and meet women".
- MAGA Mindset: Making YOU and America Great Again. 2016. ISBN 9527065925
- Exactly the same as Gorilla Mindset, but this time Cernovich takes inspiration from Donald Trump rather than gorillas.
- Trolls for Trump, a New Yorker piece about Cernovich's fake news memery
- ‘Alt-Right’ Dingus Triggered By Mean Nightclub That Won’t Host His Little Trump Party, a Wonkette piece about Cernovich's Deploraball
- What is Hillary Clinton dying from today?
- Expert Analysis of Hillary Clinton’s Physical and Mental Breakdown
- The White House Should Not Be Promoting Mike Cernovich
- Prominent pro-Trump Twitter troll admits that he deserved to be called the worst alt-right insult
- The 'Deploraball' bash laid bare the fractious tension between the 'new right' and the 'alt right'
- Margaret Pless, "Mike Cernovich; #GamerGate Lawyer! (Content Warning: Migraine-Inducingly Terrible)", Internet Famous Angry Men
- Mike Cernovich, "@MSamenfink Yeah it's pricey. But I'm fired up about Zoe's conduct. So I'll be getting my private investigator on the matter.", Twitter (archived)
- Zoe Quinn, ""Private investigator on the matter." Caps incoming later but Jesus Christ who hires a PI to stalk a homeless woman", Twitter
- Laura Dale, "8chan removed from Patreon... Becomes cat sanctuary", Destructoid
- Matt Purslow, "Patreon community guideline changes outlaws harassment, 8chan now raising money for cats to comply with new rules", PC Games N
- "A massive fail in the making - Hotwheels hires Mike C for disability discrimination case against Patreon", GamerGhazi, Reddit
- The Orlando Shooter Did Not Act Alone
- Twitter: Bill Clinton's abandoned black son will be holding a press conference today at 4 pm PST. I'll tweet link!
- Twitter: Rotten Hillary Clinton gave Chelsea a life of luxury, Bill's black son was forced to live in foster home. #ImWithHer
- Twitter: Sick Hillary has no enthusiastic support, has to buy in rally attendees. Her only hope is to scare black people into voting for her.
- Sick Hillary wants gun control, war with Russia, hate speech laws, supports hate groups like BLM. Media goes hush.
- The College Rape Culture Heuristic (Why Trump?)
- When in Doubt, Whip it Out
- Twitter: "addicted to cum", "condoms", "Captain America", "life force"
- Juicebro is fucking nuts
- Twitter: "grew up on", "go a week", "depression"
- Twitter: "tools", "neo-Puritans", "criminalize sex", "laid regularly", "cold shiver"
- Original Tweet, since removed. Screenshot: The Holy Grail of WTAF tweets
- Twitter "anal", "condoms", "raw dog", "alpha STD protection"
- What is Sex with a Tranny Like?
- Why I Became a Male-to-Male Transgender
- How We are Changing the Culture and Destroying SJWs
- Mike Cernovich book stuff (Navel Gazing)
- How Mike Cernovich Is Pizzagating His Latest Victim
- His fans insulted the Alt-Right, so the Alt-Right declared him a paedophile ringleader
- Rape apologist Mike Cernovich is trying to Pizzagate a comedian for making fun of him on Twitter
- Margaret Pless, "Mike Cernovich: Potemkin Alpha Male", Internet Famous Angry Men