Ann Coulter

Pinocchio, except it's her neck that grows longer

Parroting squawkbox Pundits

And a dirty dozen more

Daniel Pipes Ayaan Hirsi Ali Christina Hoff Sommers Franklin Graham Diamond & Silk Jacob Wohl Stephen Colbert Roosh V Lew Rockwell Blaire White Douglass Mackey Mark Sanford v - t - e

“”We just want Jews to be perfected.

—Adolf Hitler Ann Coulter

“”I'm a Christian first and a mean-spirited, bigoted conservative second, and don't you ever forget it.

—Archie Bunker Ann Coulter

Ann Coulter (1961–) is a pundit, lawyer, and author who is the most famous "movement Conservative" living in the United States, with all the vile arrogance and cruelty typical of the breed. Once upon a time, she wanted to be taken seriously as an analyst, but realized the real money was in taking the Bill Maher-route of political jackassery. In modern times, her role as a token female bigoted Republican has been taken over by Tomi Lahren.

Origins

Scan a few things about her (her background, upbringing, etc.) and her evolution into she-Hitler isn't that surprising. She's a WASP blue-blood. Her father was a country-club conservative and a union-busting lawyer.

MSNBC fired her in 1997, and she rode the wave of Bush nationalism that was big in the early 2000s. There was an influx of character assassins trying to equate having doubts about the Iraq War with being unpatriotic, and Coulter was front and center. She claims to vocalize what others in her political sphere are "really thinking" – even going so far to say that Bill Clinton should be executed and the USA should actually invade Canada. Her attitude and style have led to her being labelled a lightning rod (and she has used some related metaphors in describing herself), with the main purpose of distracting liberal commentators from less-extreme conservative views. Even more amazing, by her own quote, she would deny herself the right to vote.

Coulter originally trained as a lawyer – which may account for many of her unpleasant traits – as with other off-the-edge right-wing commentators like Neil Boortz. Coulter became a political ambulance-chaser, running after such fringe notables as Anita Hill and Paula Jones. She later developed a habit of turning upon potential clients who didn't toe her line, including Jones and Hill.

Notable ideas

Historical revisionism

See the main article on this topic: Historical revisionism

Ann Coulter has been accused of negationism through minimizing, denying, perverting, bending, or simply ignoring basic facts. Writer John McNally comments, "My new novel, America's Report Card, is dedicated to Ann Coulter, but it's not a warm and loving dedication. It reads, 'To America's Iago, Ann Coulter, for rewriting history to suit her own nefarious purposes'."

Coulter has repeatedly come out in support of maintaining Confederate symbolism — despite having been born in New York fucking City. She has also misleadingly associated the Democratic Party (when it really should be the States' Rights Democratic Party) with the KKK and segregationist policies. You can't have it both ways, Ann.

Coulter's view on McCarthyism represents her most dangerous attempt at historical revisionism. In the incredibly titled chapter "The Indispensable Joe McCarthy" of her book Treason: Liberal Treachery from the Cold War to the War on Terrorism, Coulter portrays the figurehead of the the most severe period of cultural and artistic censorship in U.S. history as a victim of liberal persecution; "The myth of 'McCarthyism' is the greatest Orwellian fraud of our times," Coulter pounds. "Liberals are fanatical liars, then as now. Everything you think you know about McCarthy is a hegemonic lie." (Well, sure, Ann, but you do know who invented the word "hegemony"?)

In 2001, federal judge Richard A. Posner named Coulter one of the top 100 Public Intellectuals. (Posner, an appointee of Republican president Ronald Reagan, provoked outrage in the legal community in 1999, when he contended that the rule of law was "an accidental and dispensable element of legal ideology" in an article in Raritan magazine, and caused another stir in an article that put forth the argument that buying and selling babies on the free market would lead to better outcomes than the present situation of government-regulated adoption.)

April Fools prank

Coulter, the best argument for gun control ever devised.

On April 1, 2009, Ann Coulter published in her Human Events article the following passage:

“”If Obama can tell GM and Chrysler that their participation in NASCAR is an "unnecessary expenditure," isn't having public schools force students to follow Muslim rituals, recite Islamic prayers and plan "jihads" also an "unnecessary expenditure"? Are all those school condom purchases considered "necessary expenditures"?

Coulter got such a bizarre notion from an April Fools prank from the magazine Car and Driver.

Rush Limbaugh, displaying some wisdom for once, told her, "If you really want to pull something off, don't do it on a day where people are going to immediately doubt it. It's absolutely silly. Car and Driver has a phony page on the website saying Obama has banned Ford, Chevy, and a bunch of others from NASCAR. Well, now, who's going to believe this?" Someone so clouded by hate she didn't bother to check out the story, obviously.

Evolution and the "Flatulent Raccoon Theory"

Coulter's Godless: The Church of Liberalism prompted a flurry of responses in skeptical circles due to its chapter on evolution ripped off from written with the "tutoring" of William Dembski and Michael Behe. According to Coulter, the "flatulent raccoon theory" in which a raccoon farts and creates the universe, is as likely to have happened as evolution. In the book she's also critical of other scientific theories, such as the Big Bang theory, the protoplanetary disk nebular hypothesis, and abiogenesis.

Fukushima disaster

Ann Coulter seems to have taken a shine to the crank version of radiation hormesis. She wrote an article stating that radiation released during the crisis at the Fukushima nuclear power plant in Japan was good for you and can reduce the rate of cancers. She then went on The O'Reilly Factor stating that "the scientific consensus has changed, but that the media are not reporting it." Bill O'Reilly, for once, was the voice of reason, pointing out the very real dangers of Fukushima-level radiation. Many people started fundraising drives to send Coulter to the Fukushima reactor so she may experience the healing powers herself, but she hasn't taken anyone up on the offer.

Criticism from the right

The poster that was too much for WND.

Although most of Coulter's detractors, obviously, hold a less extreme point of view than she does, there are a lone few whom she cannot answer simply by yelling "LIBERAL!" at the top of her lungs. John Lofton, a less-than-notable crank and latter-day Puritan associated with the U.S. Constitution Party, really let her have it on his blog:

“”I wish Ann Coulter would shut up. I know, I know – she won't, as long as she breathes. But, this is my wish – that she shut up immediately. Utterly lacking in discretion and thus standing out as a jewel of gold in a swine's snout – and always wearing the attire of a harlot – this disgusting female, who says she is a Christian…

Coulter accepted an invitation to give a speech at "Homocon", a conference sponsored by the gay Republican group GOProud. They are in favor of same-sex marriage and military service for open homosexuals, something that would be anathema to your more wingnut right-winger, such as Joseph Farah, who claimed he dumped her because of "homoconflict".

Once news that the "right-wing Judy Garland" would be addressing the convention broke, WorldNetDaily dropped her as their keynote speaker at their "Taking America Back National Conference". Farah claimed he withdrew the invitation because Coulter no longer espoused the ideals he saw for the right, and he did not wish to be associated with the "radical and very 'unconservative' agenda" of GOProud.

Coulter's opinion of Donald Trump's presidency has fluctuated between outright adoration and free-floating hostility. In 2016, she wrote a book called In Trump We Trust, praising Trump as "being a one-man wrecking ball against our dysfunctional and corrupt establishment". However, she was cheering on what she hoped would be a competent fascist-dictator, not an incompetent authoritarian wannabe. By the time 2018 rolled around, Coulter realized that Trump wasn't quite the white knight she was hoping for, and was calling Trump a "shallow, lazy ignoramus", "gutless", and an "idiot" on various media platforms (with Trump firing back at "Wacky Nut Job @AnnCoulter" on Twitter). Much of the problem for Coulter is that Trump simply isn't building the Trump wall fast enough for her likening. Another issue Coulter has is that that Trump only values those who are unflattering loyal to Trump, and will attack those he perceives as disloyal to him (in his usual all-caps unhinged rant style) on Twitter. Even if they are the ultra-hard-line racist "anti-immigrant" type that Coulter adores, like Jeff Sessions. So, naturally, when Trump attacked Sessions on Twitter, Coulter responded by calling Trump "the most disloyal actual retard that has ever set foot in the Oval Office" who "is trying to lose AND take the Senate with him". This turn against Trump has confused many conservatives on social media and earned her many insults from normally supportive commentary sections on the Internet.

Performance art?

Ms. Coulter is so extreme and so off the charts that some have suggested that she doesn't really mean it, that she's some sort of comic genius making a fortune out of baiting liberals, or a Stephen Colbert who doesn't let anyone in on the joke. However, others have pointed out the many ways she does really mean it, and point out that her actions back up her vile rhetoric. Coulter states that she is a Deadhead (ardent fan and follower of the Grateful Dead), and even proclaims that "Deadheads are what liberals claim to be, but aren't." In danger of invoking No True Scotsman, though, we say the jury's out.

Quotes

Pro-Fascism

• "My libertarian friends are probably getting a little upset now but I think that's because they never appreciate the benefits of local fascism." – On MSNBC, February 8, 1997

• "They're Democrats always accusing us of repressing their speech. I say let's do it. Let's repress them. Frankly, I'm not a big fan of the First Amendment." – University of Florida speech, October 20, 2005

Anti-Fascism

• "You don't want the Republicans in power, does that mean you want a dictatorship, gay boy?" – Indiana University speech, February 23, 2006

Environmentalism

• "The ethic of conservation is the explicit abnegation of man's dominion over the Earth. The lower species are here for our use. God said so: Go forth, be fruitful, multiply, and rape the planet – it's yours. That's our job: drilling, mining and stripping. Sweaters are the anti-Biblical view. Big gas-guzzling cars with phones and CD players and wet bars – that's the Biblical view." – October 12, 2000

• "You have recycling, global warming, safe sex, err… taught and children being baptised in it through government-paid teachers; they are baptised in a religion of liberalism for 6 hours a day, 12 days a week." – On BBC Newsnight with Jeremy Paxman in 2006

Muslims

• Talk about making fun of rape! "Sweden Opened Doors To Muslim Immigration, Today It's The Rape Capital Of The West." (It's not.)

• "More opportunities for raping, rioting & mutilating the genitalia of little kids in peace! Muslims Cheer Macron Win"

Jews

• Coulter has been accused of being an antisemite, and has been condemned by the Anti-Defamation League.

• Coulter has even engaged in Holocaust revisionism by smearing Holocaust survivor George Soros as having been a participant, claiming, "Media Matters sugar daddy is George Soros, WHO IDENTIFIED JEWS TO THE NAZIS, as he admitted on 60 Minutes"

Foreign policy

• "We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity." – New York Observer, September 12, 2001

• "I think our motto should be, post-9/11, 'raghead talks tough, raghead faces consequences.'" – At the Conservative Political Action Committee conference, February 10, 2006

• "We should form a military alliance with Russia to protect it from Western Europe."

• "Usually the nonsense liberals spout is kind of cute, but in wartime their instinctive idiocy is life-threatening."

Liberals

• "Everyone says liberals love America, too. No they don't. Whenever the nation is under attack, from within or without, liberals side with the enemy. This is their essence. The left's obsession with the crimes of the West and their Rousseauian respect for Third World savages all flow from this subversive goal. If anyone has the gaucherie to point out the left's nearly unblemished record of rooting against America, liberals turn around and scream 'McCarthyism!'" – In Treason (2003)

• "Democrats couldn't care less if people in Indiana hate them. But if Europeans curl their lips, liberals can't look at themselves in the mirror."

Evolution

• "I would like evolution to join the roster of other discredited religions, like the cargo cult of the South Pacific. Practitioners of cargo cult believed that manufactured products were created by ancestral spirits, and if they imitated what they had seen the white man do, they could cause airplanes to appear out of the sky, bringing valuable cargo like radios and TVs. So they constructed 'airport towers' out of bamboo and 'headphones' out of coconuts and waited for the airplanes to come with the cargo. It may sound silly, but in defense of the cargo cult, they did not wait as long for evidence supporting their theory as the Darwinists have waited for evidence supporting theirs." – Interview with Lisa De Pasquale, June 6, 2006

• "Throw in enough words like imagine, perhaps, and might have – and you've got yourself a scientific theory! How about this: Imagine a giant raccoon passed gas and perhaps the resulting gas might have created the vast variety of life we see on Earth. And if you don't accept the giant raccoon flatulence theory for the origin of life, you must be a fundamentalist Christian nut who believes the Earth is flat. That's basically how the argument for evolution goes." – Emphasis in the original, Godless (2006)

Walter Mitty

• "Incidentally, if [Joe] Wilson believed his own Walter Mitty fantasy about his wife being a covert spy – so secret that his entire family could be killed if her identity were revealed – maybe he should have thought twice before writing an op-ed for the New York Times calling the President a liar based on information acquired solely because his wife works at the CIA." - In Godless (2006)

9/11 responsibility

• "Actually, there was one small item I think Falwell got wrong regarding his statement after 9/11 that 'the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians – who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle – the ACLU, People for the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America.' I point the finger in their face and say, 'You helped this happen.' First of all, I disagreed with that statement because Falwell neglected to specifically include Teddy Kennedy and 'the Reverend' Barry Lynn. Second, Falwell later stressed that he blamed the terrorists most of all, but I think that clarification was unnecessary."

Free press

• "I'm always suspicious when a story is covered heavily on one of the liberal stations and not being talked about on Fox. For example, the birther story, all over MSNBC – no one on Fox ever mentioned it." – On Fox & Friends Saturday on June 11, 2010. Yes, she really said that.

• "My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building."

Family values

• "I want to make divorce a lot more difficult too. Liberals want to destroy — this is an important point libertarians, you listen to this — liberals want to destroy the family so that you will have one loyalty, and that is to the government."

Feminism

• "What with liberal women constantly talking about their vaginas suddenly pretending to be offended by the word 'slut', and conservatives pretending to be as pussified as liberals about the nasty names they’ve been called, I never got an answer to the most pressing question about Sandra Fluke: Who are you again?" – In response to the furor surrounding El Rushbo calling law student Sandra Fluke a "slut."

• "And I'm a girl."

• "Thanks for not staring at my Adam's apple."

Voting rights

• "It would be a much better country (the United States) if women did not vote. That is simply a fact. In fact, in every presidential election since 1950 – except Goldwater in '64 – the Republican would have won, if only the men had voted."

• "I think [women] should be armed but should not vote. No, they all have to give up their vote, not just, you know, the lady clapping and me. The problem with women voting – and your communists will back me up on this – is that, you know, women have no capacity to understand how money is earned. They have a lot of ideas on how to spend it. And when they take these polls, it's always more money on education, more money on childcare, more money on daycare."

• "I think there should be a literacy test and a poll tax for people to vote."

• "If we took away women's right to vote, we'd never have to worry about another Democrat president."

Hitler

• "If Hitler hadn't turned against their beloved Stalin, liberals would have stuck by him, too."

Central Park 5

• Coulter still thinks that the Central Park 5 are guilty. She says: "Liberals are opposed to rape in the abstract, but when it comes to actual rapists, they're all for them."

Bibliography

Yes, this is unfortunately real.

“”Books that become publishing scandals by virtue of phony research, invented facts, or apocryphal stories invariably grind political axes for the left… but it’s hard to think of a single hoax book written by a conservative.

—Coulter, who decided to rectify this oversight

She is responsible for many crimes against literature:

• High Crimes and Misdemeanors: The Case Against Bill Clinton (1998)– in which Ann tried to get in good with Clinton by playing hard to get.

• Slander: Liberal Lies About the American Right (2002) – argued that good old G.W. was treated badly by the media. Except Fox, who won him the election – well them, Katherine Harris and the Supreme Court. It was on the New York Times Best Seller list for seven weeks, proving Jesusland can read.

• Treason: Liberal Treachery from the Cold War to the War on Terrorism (2003) – Revisionist history notable for its prolonged attempt at rehabilitating Joseph McCarthy and its worshipful treatment of Ronald Reagan. This book also spent time on the Best Seller list (13 weeks). It is believed that sales of the Bible fell dramatically as a result.

• How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must): The World According to Ann Coulter (2004) – This wasn't actually a book, but a collection of columns penned by Coulter.

• Godless: The Church of Liberalism (2006) - In this tome, Coulter argues that the Librulz reject Gawd and hate those who don't. Among the book's highlights are a diatribe against 9/11 widows ("I've never seen anyone enjoy their husbands' deaths so much"), a chapter demonizing teaching as an amoral profession, and a multi-chapter rant against evolution. She also argues that liberalism is a religion in itself, a connection which made sense in her mind. Godless debuted at number one on the New York Times Best Seller list. Shortly thereafter the Hudson River turned to blood.

• If Democrats Had Any Brains, They'd Be Republicans (2007) – Was published in October, 2007, but Stephen Colbert's Book I Am America (And So Can You!) came out at the same time, so no one gave a damn.

• Guilty: Liberal "Victims" and their Assault on America (2009)– In this book, Coulter claims that liberals are always claiming to be victims while victimizing conservatives (see also: irony).

• Demonic: How the Liberal Mob Is Endangering America (2011) – Looking like a vampire novel with its name and black cover, in this one Coulter claims... just what the title states. That liberals are demonic, a mob, coddle mobs, are the mob, and are endangering America. As proof, she blames the French and Russian Revolutions, among other historical events, on modern-day liberals. The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!

• Mugged: Racial Demagoguery from the Seventies to Obama (2012) – Coulter claims the left has been absent from the civil rights movement and explains the "real" history of race relations in America. That rumbling you feel is MLK doing backflips in his grave.

• Never Trust a Liberal Over 3, Especially a Republican (2013) – Another collection of Coulter's columns. Be sure to check out the cover on which Ann is photoshopped to within an inch of her life.

• ¡Adios America! The Left's Plan To Turn Our Country Into A Third World Hellhole (2015) - Ann spews pea soup while railing against immigrants stealing America...a country that was stolen by immigrants.

• In Trump We Trust: E Pluribus Awesome! (2016) – Pretty much exactly what you're imagining is what's in this book. The really funny part, however, is that she's since turned against him due to not getting her beloved wall quickly enough.

• Resistance Is Futile!: How the Trump-Hating Left Lost Its Collective Mind (2018) – This is essentially a book's worth of Ann Coulter brainlessly mocking the Russia investigation and Trump's political opposition. The best part is the conclusion, hilariously titled "For Democracy to Live, We Must Kill the Media."

See also

• Michelle Malkin: To ignore evil is to encourage and allow more to flourish.
• Tomi Lahren: On Fox News you're good until you stop being attractive to the overlord. At that point you get replaced.
• Dinesh D'Souza: Ex-boyfriend and fellow wingnut.
• Milo Yiannopoulos: Ann didn't lead enough into her whole "gay friend" thing. She let herself get replaced among them.
• Katie Hopkins: Her British counterpart
• Poe's Law
• American Taliban
• Deep cover liberal
• Islamophobia
• Pat Robertson
• FallenMorgan's essay on Annie
• Ayn Rand
• Kyle Kulinski: was scheduled to debate Ann at Politicon 2018, but she backed out at the last minute, and then proceeded shortly after to pretend nobody would debate her in a follow-up interview. Ann Coward, more like.

External links

• The Woman Who Killed Health Care - Who wore it first? Ann owes this woman royalties for lifting her act so brazenly.
• Hitler or Coulter?
• Anti-Coulter
• Chris Curveball & the Blonde Bomb, Roger Ebert
• Ann Coulter Nostalgia: Behold, For I Am the Giant Flatulent Raccoon, Carl Zimmer
• Coulter's racism

Videos

• Ann Coulter supports Hillary Clinton?!
• Ann Coulter to a Muslim: Take a Camel
• Ann Coulter dodging a pie
• For her greatest hits, see this video.

Sources

• Coulter, Ann (2003), Treason: Liberal Treachery From the Cold War to the War on Terrorism, Crown Forum, ISBN 1-4000-5030-8