Baal

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Baal demands you guess where this finger has been!
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The Bible
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Gabbin' with God
Analysis
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Baal is a title used in the Bible which could refer to any local god. Literally the word simply means “master” or “lord” and consequently every local tribe would have their own “Baal.”[1]

While the ancient Israelites were on their way from Egypt to the promised land (and after they arrived) they were constantly looking for ways to get into Baal's good books — but exactly why Baal was such an attractive deity for the ancient Israelites is a bit of a puzzle. They had ample evidence of the existence of God as he had killed thousands of them personally while they were on their way to the promised land and after they arrived.

Baal and Christianity[edit]

He turns up in another incarnation as Ba‘al Zebûb (literally “Lord of the Flies”), and subsequently as Beelzebub, again proving that Christians can't spell. It is likely that the Hebrews corrupted the name Ba'al Zebul, which means "Lord of Heaven".[2]

Later Christians converted him into the demon BeelzebubWikipedia's W.svg — an assistant of Satan, or Satan himself.

Glenn Beck and Rabbi Daniel Lapin claim that "secular fundamentalism" (whatever that is) is due to the influence of Baal.[3] Assuming that they're right, of course, that must mean other gods exist besides the God of the Bible. Huh.

Miscellaneous bits[edit]

The Carthaginian general Hannibal was named after Baal. His name means "the grace of Baal".[4][notes 1] There was another Baal too, this time being Baal Hammon, the chief deity of the Carthaginian pantheon.[5] Yet more proof that "Baal" was just a generic word for any god or lord.

Notes[edit]

  1. Of course, this literally just meant "by the grace of the Lord"

References[edit]

  1. "Baal" - Dictionary.com
  2. Wex, Michael (2005). Born to Kvetch. New York City: St. Martin's Press. ISBN 0-312-30741-1. 
  3. The Blaze: Beck & Rabbi Lapin Show Why You Should Care About ‘Baal’ & Rising Secular Fundamentalism
  4. "Hannibal" - Baby Name Wizard
  5. "Baal Hammon" - Deity of the Week