Fun:Cockney Bible

Light iron-age reading The Bible

Gabbin' with God

Old / New Testament Apocrypha Annotated Bible

Analysis

Abomination Nag Hammadi library Evidence against a recent creation

Woo

Biblical longevity Hanzi of Genesis British Israelism

Figures

Joseph (Old Testament) Herod Tamar v - t - e

The Bible in Cockney: Well Bits of it Anyway (ISBN 1841012173) is a translation of some of the books of the Bible into Cockney slang. At present it contains nine stories from the Old Testament and the Gospel according to Mark. It was written by Mike Coles, the head of Religious Education at Sir John Cass Church of England secondary school in Stepney, East London and was published on 16 May 2001.

It met with approval from the Archbishop of Canterbury, the Rev. George Carey, who said at the time, "The Bible in Cockney takes the Bible out of the formal church setting, and puts it back into the marketplace, into the streets where it originally took place. This version puts energy and passion back into the stories. If it manages to get people reading the Bible who would not normally do so, then it has achieved an invaluable work."

It has also met with the approval of the Rev. Graham Jones, who has said, "It's, ah, well wicked and umm, whack… Yo."

Example

Here's the Lord's Prayer in Cockney (warning: Cringe worthy):

“”Hello, Dad, up there in good ol’ Heaven, Your name is well great and holy, and we respect you, Guv. We hope we can all 'ave a butcher's at Heaven and be there as soon as possible: and we want to make you happy, Guv, and do what you want 'ere on earth, just like what you do in Heaven. Guv, please give us some Uncle Fred, and enough grub and stuff to keep us going today, and we hope you’ll forgive us when we cock things up, just like we’re supposed to forgive them who annoy us and do dodgy stuff to us. There's a lot of dodgy people around, Guv; please don’t let us get tempted to do bad things. Help keep us away from all the nasty, evil stuff, and keep that dodgy Satan away from us, 'cos you're much stronger than ‘im. You're the Boss, God, and will be for ever, innit? Cheers, Amen.

See also

• RationalWiki:Annotated Bible
• RationalWiki's Guide to the Bible
• Conservapedia:The Conservative Bible Project