National Party of Australia

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The National Party of Australia (formerly the Country Party) is a conservative Australian political party. It acts as the counterpart to the Liberal Party (the mainstream Conservative party) in the Liberal-National Coalition. Following the 2019 federal election, the party held sixteen seats in the House of Representatives, despite polling only 4.5% of the nationwide lower-house vote.[1]

Policies[edit]

The National Party serves as the clingy, needy little brother of the Liberal Party and is more or less a carbon-copy, only with more rednecks and country hicks.

They supposedly exist to defend the interests of rural people. However, they are more than happy to harm those interests whenever their Liberal masters demand — for example:

  • Rolling over on the Liberals' National Broadband Network policy, which is, to all intents and purposes, destruction of said Broadband Network and replacing it with an already obsolete solution that will be far more damaging and expensive for rural areas than it will in the city, even in comparison to the outdated plan, let alone the difference between what the original network would give in rural areas compared to the new national network.
  • Supporting the interests of developers and mining companies over those of farmers and other rural residents, and endorsing projects for mining, fracking and coal seam gas even when these are locally unpopular.[2][3][4]
  • Supporting the Adani Coal Mine in drawing vast amounts of groundwater at the expense of farmers' irrigation needs.[5][6]
  • Voting to silence Australian Labor Party MPs who speak out about farmers' concerns, as when Julie Collins attempted to raise the issue of Australia's mouse plague in June 2021.[7]
  • Ignoring the concerns of farmers about how climate change will affect them.[8] And ignoring the concerns of farmers, full stop.[9]

Name change[edit]

The party was called "The Country Party' until 1975 and the "National Country Party" until 1982.[10] When the Labor Party developed a youth branch called "Young Labor" and the Liberal Party had the "Young Libs", the Country Party changed its name.

Party "personalities"[edit]

The party is graced with several "unique" personalities who continue to contribute to the illustrious and growing field of ignorance. These include but are not limited to:

  • Barnaby "Beetrooter" Joyce - The current Minister for Infrastructure, Transport and Regional Development, Deputy Prime Minister, and leader of the party (2016-2018; 2021-present).[11][12] An advocate of "traditional marriage" when it comes to opposing same-sex marriage,[13] but not when it comes to conceiving a baby with an ex-staffer despite having a wife and four daughters.[14] He loves the traditional family so much that he had two of them. Resigned as leader as a result of this in 2018, only to return in a party leadership spill in 2021.
  • Michael McCormack - Former leader (2018-2021), ousted in a leadership spill.
  • Warren "Hyposomnia" Truss - The former leader, now retired.
  • Mia Davies - Western Australian state MP for Central Wheatbelt and Leader of the Opposition in Western Australia, appointed to this position in 2021 as a result of the Western Australian Liberals suffering an electoral wipeout and consequently losing opposition status.

References[edit]

  1. Party Totals. ABC News.
  2. Narrabri locals demand answers from Barilaro. The Echo, November 24 2020.
  3. Farmers fighting zombie gas licences fear Barilaro comments mean renewal a done deal. Lock the Gate Alliance, March 15, 2021.
  4. Judith Brett. Forgotten farmers, mining and anti-green invective: how the Nationals became a party for coal. The Guardian, 27 June 2020.
  5. Ben Smee. Federal court overturns water approval for Adani’s Carmichael coalmine. The Guardian, 25 May, 2021.
  6. Ian Overton. Australia’s black coal industry uses enough water for over 5 million people. Renew Economy, 4 May 2020.
  7. Mouse Plague: 16 June 2021: House Debates. Open Australia, 16 June 2021.
  8. Jamieson Murphy. Nationals out of touch on climate change as farmers bear its brunt. Farm Online National, 9 September 2020.
  9. Jamieson Murphy. Senior National admits farmers are not party's core constituency. North Queensland Register, 5 July 2021.
  10. Paul Davey. The Nationals: The Progressive, Country, and National Party in New South Wales 1919–2006. Federation Press: Sydney 2006, p. 244.
  11. As it happened: Barnaby Joyce elected unopposed to Nationals leadership, Fiona Nash deputy. ABC News, 11 February, 2016.
  12. Barnaby Joyce new leader of Nationals after defeating Michael McCormack in spill. ABC News, 21 June, 2021.
  13. Clementine Ford. Barnaby Joyce does not understand marriage. Sydney Morning Herald, 8 February 2018.
  14. Barnaby Joyce and ex-staff member Vikki Campion reportedly expecting a baby. news.com.au, February 7, 2018.