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Mars is only a few thousand years old[edit]

This shows that, like Earth, Mars has evidence that it is only a few thousands of years old and not 4.6 billion years old. Mars, a Testament to Catastrophe (Answers Research Journal). Allegedly! SusanG  ContribsTalk 11:10, 2 October 2008 (EDT)

Argh. That's so brain dead it makes my nuts fall off. What do they reckon, God decided to flood Mars just to get Noah's fellows who'd built spacecraft out of gopherwood and colonised the place? --JeevesMkII 11:44, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
God flooded Mars as a dry run for his Earth flood. Even the Beatles had to spend all day rehearsing the four songs they did on Ed Sullivan. Francine 23:01, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
This is idiocy of the highest order. Clearly God created the Earth, then flooded it, then wanted another planet to play with, so he took a section of the Earth and made Mars. That's why there is evidence of a great flood on Mars. See, when you approach the probem with an open mind, the answers are obvious!-- Antifly Now with 50% less retirement! 13:08, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Dont you fucking idiots know anything! When the flood began it was such a catacalysmic event that huge amounts of water and mud were ejected from earths atmosphere and landed on Mars. This space mud also contained microbes from earth which also accounts for any microbes found on Mars. You freaking morons, read some creationwiki goddamnit! Ace McWickedcast ye the first stone 14:59, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Mr McWicked (if that is your real name!), untill you lern how to apostrofise possssssessives corectlly, your kontribushns will be treeted with the contempt they dezerve. Aschlafly 08:58, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
What amazes me is that the story of the flood here on Earth isn't used by YECs as evidence of Earth's age- Genesis says Noah was 600 years old at the time! So all they're saying is "Look, a catastrophe from a few thousand years ago! There's one of those in the Bible too! Evolutionists say catastrophes never happen, so they're wrong! So Mars must not have been around long before that!" That's equivalent to saying New Orleans must be only three years old. Kallium 20:26, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Interestingly, along those same line, creationists assert dinosaurs still around/recently died off = Young Earth/disproves evolution. But actually a find of a live dinosaur or a recent skeleton would says nothing about the age of the earth nor evolution. Why they continually tout that is beyond me but, then again, so does everything about YEC. Ace McWickedcast ye the first stone 20:43, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Though if they did find a real live dinosaur they'd get a bugler load of cash and a lot of fame and publicity. Maybe Church/Government sponsors just pay better so they don't have to do any real work? ArmondikoVnarchist 04:32, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

Does Schlafly like Star Trek?[edit]

One of his students is apparently comparing George Washington with Captain Picard: "

I like him because he obviously had some boldness to go where no man had gone before." The alternative explanation is that Washington was so great, he founded the nation's space program. --Composure1 11:17, 2 October 2008 (EDT)

It's actually PJR who seems to have a Star Trek thing. SusanG  ContribsTalk 11:22, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Odd, considering his opinions on the absolute impossibility of extraterrestrial life. weaseLOIdWeaselly.jpg~ 11:36, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
That's very ironic, considering that before the advent of modern astronomy, there was a time period (particularly during the 18th century I think) when many religious people believed that life *did* exist on other planets. The basis for the theological argument was that God would not have wasted his time creating all the other planets if he didn't intend to put life there. --Composure1 11:44, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
'tis kind of the logical conclusion, isn't it? Just one of the many, many reasons why young earth creationism is almost certainly bollocks. Why would god create billions of stars if we're so extra special as to be alone in the universe? Pretty decoration so we don't get bored? For the purpose of stimulating the astrology business? --JeevesMkII 11:51, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
young earth creationism is almost certainly bollocks Completely 100% bollocks. So ridiculous it doesn't even rise the level of being a theory, let alone wrong. Just my humble opinion. Bjones 12:05, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
I'm sorry, Bjones, but I must pick you up on that. There are lots of very unridiculous things, some very impressive things, some rigorously scientific and intellectual things that don't even rise to the level of being a theory. Please don't cheapen the meaning of the word theory in a scientific context. By using that form of words, you might unwittingly endorse similar utterances by creationists that evolution is "just a theory". A theory is at the top of the tree. Ajkgordon 13:01, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Hmmm...evolution is just a theory. It just so happens to be an incredibly well confirmed one, though. Creationism is not a theory. Not even a really bad one. What is the problem here? Bjones 13:08, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
OK, one of the tactics creationists use to discredit evolution is to say that evolution is just a theory. To most people, the word theory means best guess or an opinion. Or even pure conjecture. Thus, creationists can discredit evolution simply by associating the word theory with its colloquial meaning. And it works beautifully when scientists readily agree that evolution is indeed a theory, sometimes seemingly oblivious to the two extremes of meaning of the word!
Creationism is, of course, no where near a scientific theory. But the phrase you used - "so ridiculous it doesn't even rise the level of being a theory" - seems to evoke the same type of meaning that the creationists use when discrediting evolution, even if that isn't your intention.
Or maybe I'm just reading it wrong. It's been a very very long day! Ajkgordon 13:27, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Conservapedia says, "As formulated by most biologists, (primates) include gorillas, gibbons, chimps and humans." On the talk page for primate, Ed Poor says, "Mainstream biologists place humans in with primates, but I feel that this is the same as asserting that people are only animals." Well guess what? People are animals, humans are primates, and evolution is a theory. Francine 21:45, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
On the same line, when this came up on the Liberals-cause-mental-illness page (teaching that "humans are just another type of animal"), I asked the obvious question: "...If you're offended by being categorized as an animal, then by definition you must be offended by the claims that your cells contain a nucleus, you are composed of more than one cell, you don't produce your own food internally and don't have cell walls. So which is it?..." Unfortunately, they have not yet responded. Once we know which of those they are bothered by, we should finally be able to put this behind us once and for all. Kallium 22:47, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

Getting back to the homework answers, check out question 7 (about John Adams): "I can't really think of much of anything. I guess the fact that he was the second president who had to live up to the great first president, states something about him". . . . Some really in-depth learning going on there. weaseLOIdWeaselly.jpg~ 14:20, 2 October 2008 (EDT) That student might well be a parodist. All their homework answers so far are ridiculously lame (but score 98% on the Aschlafly marking scale). Actually I hope they are a parodist, cause otherwise it's just appalling. weaseLOIdWeaselly.jpg~ 14:28, 2 October 2008 (EDT)

Yo, nothing can beat this kid. "George Washington did not stand for any rubbish." They just aren't trying. Are they all braindead or they just gotta no respect for Assfly? Edit: Oh dear fucking FSM. he fucking marked it. 67/70. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO DO TO FAIL HOMESCHOOL? RAPE AND MURDER THE INSTRUCTOR? --JeevesMkII 20:36, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Yes, but not in that order. - Arghhhhhh!!!! 15:17, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
It will be interesting to see if he brags about his class average at the end of the course...-- Antifly Now with 50% less retirement! 20:54, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Good heavens, he marked Number Four, and gave her a 91%! That's with poorly worded answers, some of which were flat-out wrong and some that didn't even address the question at all! Man, is he grading while masturbating at Palin's performance in the debate, or what? --Kels 21:48, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Srsly. He's fucking lost it. These kids really, really need organise and lynch the bugger. --JeevesMkII 22:30, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Assfly grades on a "ten point must" system, obviously. It's the only explanation. I will explain if asked. ħumanUser talk:Human 22:55, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Asks. :) --Purple George!YossieSpring in Fialta 23:33, 2 October 2008 (EDT)

(unindent) Jeeves, you are grossly incorrect. Student five did NOT receive a score of 67/70. That would be unreasonably high. It was 66/70. Kallium 23:54, 2 October 2008 (EDT)

The "ten point must" system is used in world silly cagefighting. In each round, the judges must score one fighter ten points, and the other less (excepting fouls called by refs). IOW, one fighter gets ten points, the judge has to pick a winner, the other fighter gets at best 9 points. Assfly grades on this system, in that, if you totally fucking lose, you only lose one point. Leading to his "students" getting 96/100 for virtually illiterate answers. ħumanUser talk:Human 00:00, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

I love how his last answer is that Adams didn't get any respect from other countries. I have this surreal vision of Adams as Rodney Dangerfield doing the "I don't get no respect" routine with his Secretary of State Dr. Vinny Boombatz. Stile4aly 12:25, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

A purely hypothetical question[edit]

If someone had, out of sheer boredom, accumulated about 50 socks, how would one go about torturing Andy with them? I'm kind of low on ideas right now, hypothetically speaking. Bjones 12:12, 2 October 2008 (EDT)

Continuing the sci-fi of yesteryear theme, have you ever seen Blake's 7? Well, in the last series the liberator had blown up and they got a new ship with a computer called Slave. Slave was programmed to be subservient and always reacted to everything the crew ordered with "Excellent choice, master" and "Consummate skill, master" etc. It was really, really annoying. What you need to do is use your vast horde of socks to praise each and every one of Andy's edits on his talk page in fawning but seemingly sincere flowery prose. See how long this takes to drive him entirely over the edge. --JeevesMkII 12:28, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Oh I dunno, given Andy's track record, you'll end up with 50 socks with block, upload and edit rights before you look around. --PsyGremlinWhut? 12:37, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Become the next Bugler! Not 50 times over; just once. We've all seen how far one can go with this kind of behavior. Become the most vile and doctrinaire reactionary you can be. Outdo everyone. It worked for Bugler, it can work for you.
Also, they aren't "socks". They're "accounts". On reasonable wikis (like WP), a "sockpuppet account" is a meaningful phrase. On places that engage in range blocks of whole countries, creating new accounts is just a common-sense defensive practice. Gauss 13:00, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Can you use them without blowing the rest? Every time I sock up these days I get relatively quick blocks for using a proxy or for using my own ip, which is now verboten. Anyway, if you want to blow one or two to irritate Andy, you could ask him to deny the rumors that he puts gerbils up his ass for kicks. I bet you he does not deny it, and that's a lot like a confession. DickTurpis 13:57, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Well, I use a different proxy for each sock (found on google). Since these lists of proxies overlap, sometimes a couple of socks go when they run a check user on one of them since I accidentally used the same proxy to create multiple socks. However, I just make up for that with sheer quantity. As for them blocking for using a proxy: sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. I guess it depends on whether Koward is too lazy to run a whois on the ip. Plus the whois doesn't usually say "Proxy" It just says "Malaysia" and they assume it is a proxy. So if you kind find proxies from the US, Ca, or Europe, all the better.
Karajou did just go on a major blocking spree claiming they were "unused socks". I was previously taunting him on his user page, and the proxies I was using to do that might have been used to create those socks (though only about half of the ones he blocked were mine). Bjones 14:31, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Creating accounts (using proxies, of course; the non-proxy world has pretty much been blown away by now) is somewhat problematical. It sometimes takes me a few tries to create one. So I would recommend not wasting large numbers of proxies on frivolous things. Fortunately, there are lots and lots of proxies, and CP can't win this battle without shutting down completely. But, still, have a serious goal, like setting sysops against each other, making Bungler say ever more stupid things, making CP contain something so insane that it gets more attention in the mainstream world (i.e. not us), making Ed Poor disgrace himself so much that even the rest of CP can't stand him, things like that. Gauss 14:45, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
(EC)Continuing on with my rambling, it seems to me this is a fundamental problem for CP. If they turn off new user registration (which is about half the time) they die a slow death. But if they allow new users, how do you stop the trolls? It seems to me the only way is with range blocks (which has its own problems) and by blocking all proxies. But can they do that? Why are some blocked automatically by the WM software and some not? Right now they basically have to do a checkuser and whois for every new user, but that gets old fast. Bjones 14:49, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Or they could, you know, not vet every single edit for ideological conformity, but that would allow cp:Liberal Contamination fnord. And that's why CP will never get any bigger. --Gulik 16:34, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
I'll pretend you haven't implied that you've registered 50 sock accounts... but whether you have or haven't, the WIGO readers at CP will be getting paranoid. Why not post them somewhere if you can't be bothered to use them yourself? ArmondikoVnarchist 15:48, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
I know CP loooooves to ban people on the basis of their IP--does it only register the IP at the time you make the account, or every time you log in? --Gulik 16:39, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
The IP ban is not eternal, I'm on CP. Or maybe my IP is different these days. Francine 22:02, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

Go the MexMax/Bugler/Samwell route with at least one. Use the other 49 to praise the main one, or better yet, use them as lib'ruls for the main guy to dump on and recommend to get banned. When it's discovered that they are socks it'll make the main guy look like a genius. Just make sure there's no link between the main guy and the others - proxy, pseaking style, NOTHING.-caius (spy) 16:43, 2 October 2008 (EDT)

The main guy could walk with a slight limp and not like cats 72.218.143.218 20:30, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Hehe... ħumanUser talk:Human 20:40, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Or he could love cats. In fact, put a white furry one on his knee for him to stroke ("No Mister Schlafly, I expect you to die!") ArmondikoVnarchist 04:38, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Armondikov, you don't know your Blofeld from your Goldfinger. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 05:33, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

What's the procedure for legitimate new users to obtain accounts? Email the admins and ask nicely? I'm surprised that they think pre-screening will be easier than post-screening. Anyway, if people were to subvert this and make lots of requests (throwaway emails being easy to come by, even some of them don't put the IP address in the headers), they'd either have to grant them all, hire private detectives to verify them, or shut the whole site down. Pseudomonas 04:40, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

El debate[edit]

Looks like CP is keeping up-to-minute (at least whenever Biden says anything "bad", or at least bad in their minds) on the debate that's happening now. Can you believe that Biden blames Bush for the economic crisis? Unbelievable! P.S. Palin is not gaining any respect in my eye right now. 75.169.214.235 21:26, 2 October 2008 (EDT)

Biden? Palin? Who? Far as I know, Layton is outpacing Dion in tonight's debate, and while Harper's not embarrassing himself, he's not scoring any definite points either. Not sure how May's doing, and Duceppe doesn't give a shit, so he's having fun. --Kels 21:29, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Not sure what the hell you just said, but Biden is definitely scoring more points with me than Palin is. Her hypnotic Canadalaskan accent isn't helping either. MIP 21:30, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
The Canadian English Leaders' debate is tonight, with leaders of the five national parties going at it. Jack Layton's the leader of the NDP, arguably the left-est of the major parties up here. --Kels 21:37, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Ah, that Harper. Stephen Harper is the only Canadian politician I know about. Five national parties up north, eh? How do you manage up there? :D MIP 21:44, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
We have more than five. But only the top parties are part of the televised debate. We manage just fine thank you all the same.-- Antifly Now with 50% less retirement! 21:50, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Minority governments for the past couple of years, and with luck we'll end up with another one and Harper can STFU about calling another damn election even though he passed a law saying he couldn't. --Kels 21:52, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Yes, I realize you'll have more than five and that only the top parties will be represented at a debate. I was being sarcastic, I'm sure Canadians can manage much better than we can (it's hell in a handbasket down here). MIP 21:56, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
I am also pulling for a minority. I think that it has worked out fairly well for us the past few years. We get Harper's steady approach to the economy, without his nutty right-wing social policies. It would be nice to have more transparency, but it is still way better than a conservative majority.-- Antifly Now with 50% less retirement! 21:57, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Sorry, my sarcasm meter is on the fritz again... I don't think I would agree that Canadaians are much better at politics than Americans, but your political system sure is more complicated. The funny thing is that since US based networks dominate the media, the average Canadian could probably tell you more about the policies of McCain and Obama, then they could about the policies of Harper, Dion, Layton, Duceppe and May...-- Antifly Now with 50% less retirement! 22:02, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Honestly, minorities just work better in general. There's a real requirement to work together, and if Harper can't pull a majority this time his leadership might start to see threats. Especially given the reason he called an early election was to get it done before the really harmful stuff came to light. Well, more harmful than having his candidates open their mouths in public. --Kels 22:04, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Nah, I'm sure milking the goat got your meter broken. No sweat. Well, on the flipside, I'm sure it's easier for us to name all thirteen provinces and territories in Canada than it is to name the states in the US. But, having to disagree, you guys are much better at politics than us. I mean, you have a queen for God's sake! MIP 22:06, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
I thought Ken lived in Buffalo? --Kels 22:49, 2 October 2008 (EDT)

Just watching whenever I have a break from my hardcore porn movies and defense flash games, from what I can tell Biden pushes forward on the debate and Palin keeps retreating to an earlier point. Ouch. NorsemanWassail! 21:56, 2 October 2008 (EDT)

What got me most about Palin was, to paraphrase her, "We sure haven't liked our government lately!" Guess who is running that government? I cannot believe there is a chance, big or small, that she will be commander in chief. Ah well. MIP 22:06, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
The way I saw it is Palin speaks only in general whereas Biden actually had an answer without mentioning oil, alaska or a diverse family. Biden hands down. Ace McWickedcast ye the first stone 22:38, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
She used too much 'doncha-know' down-home bullshit speak tonight. I'm not sure to whom she was pandering, but I'm not sold. I didn't think I would be anyway. Also, there should have been a counter on screen for how many times the word 'maverick' was used. Speakerface with 4 M's and a silent Q 22:48, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Agreed at Ace. Also, we need to change the form of govt in the US to be more parliamentary. The "executive" is so 18th century. ħumanUser talk:Human 22:51, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Yeah, that "doncha-know" quote reminded me of Bobby's World. That takes me back. The way she kept staring into the camera was el creepy. NorsemanWassail! 22:54, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
That's what I was thinking too! Bobby's world does take me back. Speakerface punkrock 23:16, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Yes, that's encyclopedic insight. Kallium 23:12, 2 October 2008 (EDT
She waffled on and when they are talking about finance she is babbling about ANWAR. While related she changed the subject several times and she never answers questions directly whereas Biden, straight into the camera, answered the pertinant questions. Ace McWickedcast ye the first stone 23:15, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
And he used a lot of facts and figures. Speakerface punkrock 23:17, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Yet she claimed she was being "straight up" with the audience. Kallium 23:19, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Biden, I was worried about his gaffe prone nature but, like the problem of Obamas naivety, the Obama camp has schooled both of them and they both kept their faults in check. While I am surprised by Palins moxie, I still think her inexperience showed thorugh. Ace McWickedcast ye the first stone 23:21, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
My favorite part was about Iraq, when asked for the McCain/Palin strategy she said "we're going to win", to which Biden responded "well, there wasn't a strategy there". [paraphrasing] Kallium 23:24, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Here it is: Ifill: "You, Gov. Palin, have said that you would like to see a real clear plan for an exit strategy. What should that be, Governor?" Palin: "I am very thankful that we do have a good plan... [87 seconds of changing the subject]" Biden: "Gwen, with all due respect, I didn't hear a plan." oooh snap! Kallium 23:29, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
I like when he said John McCains policy was "the ultimate bridge to nowhere". Ace McWickedcast ye the first stone 23:32, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
Indeed! I yield my example to yours, sir. Kallium 23:39, 2 October 2008 (EDT)
I think it's worth being fair to her candidacy in saying that she did much better than she had in the hideous Couric interviews, which were beyond embarrassing - shocking, even. That said, we heard not an original thought from her tonight, and though she delivered well and without hesitancy, the woman doesn't appear able to do more than parrot the script. She did well, but not well enough to be thought of at any kind of intellect. Biden didn't screw up, though he wasn't really firing on all cylinders until towards the end. Overall, I'll bet each side thought they did really well, and I'll bet Palin did enough to arrest the self-destruction she had embarked on in the last few weeks. It was, as usual for politicians that make it to the national sphere, a somewhat disappointing and rather boring event. DogP 00:53, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

(unindent) Can someone tell me what the hell this even means? I really can't figure out what inane point Andy is trying to make here... SirChuckBCall the FBI 13:13, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

You're forgetting he lives in Andyland, not reality. You have to think at about 90 degrees to the norm. Doing that, I think he's trying to simultaneously say that the debate was boring and that Biden was pwned by Palin. Zmidponk 14:06, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
I'm pretty sure the "moderator is biased" thing was to provide an excuse in case Palin bombed, especially since McSame actually knew about Ifil's book before he approved of her as moderator. So since Palin surpassed expectations (i.e., she didn't drool on the podium), they're just slamming the mod for the sake of slamming her. --Kels 15:22, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Was anyone else struck by 1) Biden's story as a single father, and the choke he had (I had forgotten his son who survived teh accident was being deployed to Iraq today) when talking of his son's recover and 2)Palin's response that showed she either wasn't listening to Biden (at all) or she didn't care what he said, when she went right back to talking point # 6357 "Energy".--Sun mowse.pngEn attendant Godot"«Poetry involves the mysteries of the irrational perceived through rational words. V.Nabokov» 16:41, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
When Ronald Reagan whipped out his anecdotes about welfare queens and stuff, did this create a burden on Mondale to answer his point, which used a "sample size of 1" ? Francine 21:55, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Er, Francine, is this in response to WaitingforGodot's question? If so I am not sure your point?? Palin should have responded with some sort of empathy, or anecdote about her own struggles as a mother, or expressing sympathy for loss, or whatever, but to just jump right into some random talking point came of very cold, mechanical and abrupt. Bad move on her part, but she was couldn't afford to go "off script." 72.39.187.24 21:59, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

Andy and AP[edit]

So HSmom (one of my favorite new editors) asks Andy some unpleasant questions about his courses, and Andy's response is classic. I'm a bit surprised he didn't hand out a ban for saying his pathetic excuse for a class is not nearly rigorous enough to be an AP course. At least he basically finally says he does not teach an AP course, something he was quite vague about before. Now, can someone more familiar with AP courses fill me in on how the test works, and what one needs in order to get college credit for an AP course? If someone teaches a godawful history class (entirely hypothetical situation of course) and a student afterwards takes the AP exam, and by a combination of some miracle and independent study actually does well, what good will that do him, not having taken the corresponding AP course? Will it just look good on a transcript as a sort of extra activity? Will it count for anything officially? What sort of grade would the student need to get any benefit from it at all? DickTurpis 00:09, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

I think, but I'm not sure, that "AP" is a trademark, and Andy is violating it. ħumanUser talk:Human 00:37, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Yeah, what HSMom said... ironically, she is probably "real", and sees teh assfly for the incompetent boob we see him as. Too bad he doesn't see her as being, well, smarter and more experienced in the field than him... ħumanUser talk:Human
I don't think that him simply saying "feel free to take the AP test after you finish my class" is a trademark violation. If he states, or even implies, that his class will carry AP credit, well, that's a different story. That's why I wonder what the test in itself signifies, independent of the class. DickTurpis 00:42, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
No, that's true. But does he say "APtm"? Does he even understand that? Anyway, what we are seeing with the AM Hist 0.0 homework is either mass mockery of "that Schafly guy my parents make me go see", or mostly trolls taking the course. If those answers and grades are serious, they are horribly embarrassing to anyone beyond fourth grade. ħumanUser talk:Human 00:46, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
APs are graded on a 1-5 scale, with 5 being the best. The college credit you get out of it depends entirely on the whim of the college you go to. Many colleges give credits for a 4 or 5 on a particular exam; some might even give you something for a 3; and others may not give credits, but could exempt the student from taking one or more required courses in the subject area. Some colleges don't give you much of anything at all, even if you get a high score; they have every right to say "congratulations, now get your ass into the freshman English class." If you take an atrocious history class, odds are you are not going to do well on the exam anyway, but if you manage to pull off a good score you'd presumably get the same benefits as anyone else going to your college of choice. But let's just say that most U.S history AP tests are, ah, slightly more challenging than Andy's homework. You have to write actual critical essays. You don't get high scores for saying that Washington was frickin' sweet cuz he didn't take shit from nobody.--Bayes 00:46, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
(ecx2!) Students can get college credit if they score well (typically a three out of the five possible points, though it varies depending on the college and the major) on the AP exam even if they didn't take an official "AP" course, but they can't claim any "AP courses" on their transcript. In other words, the transcript won't look as pretty, but they might still get a few credits in college. --Arcan ¡ollǝɥ 00:48, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
P.S. - I should note that it is highly unlikely a student will "pass" an AP test without taking an AP course, especially in history, considering the DBQs (Essay questions that require you to formulate an argument from the primary sources they provide) are unlike anything most high school students have seen. --Arcan ¡ollǝɥ 00:50, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
That basically jives with my understanding. My main question was, should one of Andy's students take the test and somehow get a 4 or 5 (in spite of Andy's teaching, not because of it) would the score be enough to exempt him from college classes without an actual AP class to go along with it. The answer seems to be yes. Obviously, we have seen nothing from any of Andy's students to indicate they would score above a 1. Most of them seem to be operating at the 6th grade level. DickTurpis 00:54, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
The caveat, as Arcan said, and what HSMom was getting at, is that they still have to get into the college to reap the AP benefits. If your transcript contains mostly Andy classes, you won't look as impressive to the admissions people as others who have AP courses on their transcripts. Especially when any curious college admissions officer can dial up CP and actually see the course level.--Bayes 01:02, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

 K e n  D o l l  again[edit]

I had to unblock myself when I saw this, it is stupid even by Conservative's standards. - User \approx\piFor best results always render PNG 01:39, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

Which one of us beotches blocked you this time? ħumanUser talk:Human 01:43, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Eh, if I were you you, I'd reblock yourself. ;) ħumanUser talk:Human 01:44, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
I was trying to get some work done for once, but I have since lost interest. - User \approx\piFor best results always render PNG 01:45, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
In that case,
Welcome back!!!
Aw, ħumanUser talk:Human 01:48, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
I tell ya, I'm sitting here in my nice house watching the sun go down, splaying rays of light through the open doors of my deck, and listening to some wonderful tunes while my beer slowly drips condensation down its proud neck yet, after Kens latest posting, I suddenly fear. What AM I gonna do when they come for me? Ace McWickedcast ye the first stone 01:52, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Thanks Human. What is the difference in the videos, I am at uni and can't be looking up YouTube videos when I am not working. - User \approx\piFor best results always render PNG 01:53, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Eh, Pi, you're welcome, and as I suspected, it's just the "COPS BAD-BOYS cops theme song". Did you expect creativity ala the Pink/AKjeldsen song war from as small a mind as Kendoll's? ħumanUser talk:Human 02:02, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
That was what I was expecting. I was hoping that the first video was something different, something we could hold against him for a while. - User \approx\piFor best results always render PNG 02:06, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
It's Kendoll. You can hold whatever you want against him, as long as you can stand it. Or as long as he lets you. Enjoy. It's almost as good as chocolate, so I hear. ħumanUser talk:Human 02:34, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Ok  K e n  D o l l  is the dumbest one there but I am starting to think that no one is that stupid. Maybe he is just a better version of Bugler who got in on the game at the very start? It is times like this I hate Poe's law since I can't believe anyone could be this big of an idiot but then again I can see anyone keeping up the act this long either --BoredCPer 02:42, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Ken was this stupid at Wikipedia. See Kdbuffalo. - User \approx\piFor best results always render PNG 02:45, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

<-YANK

Actually Ken's recent edits to cp:Bipolar disorder reminded me of this post from theologyweb

kendemyerMarch 25th 2006, 09:27 PM

A few things:

1. In the past I was mistakenly given the diagnosis of bipolar (I found out what it was and was cured of it and that is another story). I did a lot of research on brain disorders though.

2. I highly recommend reading this article from a Harvard researcher regarding bipolar:

"Do Vitamins or Minerals (apart from lithium) have mood stabizing effects by Dr. Charles Popper, Journal of Clinical Pschiatry 62:933-935

3. There is a product from Canada that has been getting spectacular results for bipolar patients and it was featured on the Discovery Channel and in 5 psychiatric journals. People have been getting such good results that a great deal of them have been discontinueing their medication or some have been halving their medications.

Here it is:

http://www.truehope.com

Perhaps that diagnosis wasn't mistaken and we should really be sympathising with his 'condition'. (Just a thought) Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 04:29, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

I'm also bipolar and went undiagnosed for quite a while, so this "Truehope" (love the sycophantic name, btw) snake oil bullshit hits quite close to home. When I saw him add it to the article, I just started seething. I mean, we know what kind of "expert" Ken is on the things he's "researched," so I guess I shouldn't expect better in the bipolar article than I do elsewhere, but the thought of some genuinely bipolar homeschooler reading this tripe, buying into the woo, and not getting the help he really needs is horrifying. As for Ken being bipolar, he doesn't really seem to demonstrate the common symptoms, so it is possible he was misdiagnosed. The "cured of it" bit is odd, and I doubt its veracity. Oh, and it turns out that Canada isn't so crazy (pardon the pun) about Truehope's EMPowerplus either. --Arcan ¡ollǝɥ 06:37, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
It's hard to say that bipolar disorder is something that can be "cured". I suffered from agoraphobia from a long time in which I refused to leave my room for any reason, even to use the toilet unless I was absolutely sure that no-one else was home (no surprise that my university studies suffered that year) and after much counseling and psychiatry it was considered I was bipolar (and slightly schizophrenic but that is another story). In my experience bipolar disorder is an ongoing thing, there are drugs and treatments that help, but in the end it is about putting yourself in a positive frame of mind and watching for the danger signs. It is something that is always with you, thus getting "cured" seems to be a misnomer. I also think it is not something we should make light of, nor can we make an educated guess about Ken based on his performance on a wiki--DamoHi 07:32, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
<ed conflict> I don't think we can judge specific diagnoses through what we see online, but I do think a few of the major players at Conservapedia probably have some kind of unacknowledged mental illness or personality disorder. (I'm not saying that to mock anybody; I really think so). Re Ken being "cured" of BPD or whatever he was suffering from, perhaps he just means something along the lines of "I prayed to Jesus & He took away the evil spirit that was afflicting me". Fundamentalists often take this attitude to mental illness, which is consistent with their religious beliefs but (in my opinion) is very dangerous, as it leads to people feeling like they're cured, and not seeking the professional treatment they need. Anyway, that's just a conjecture in this case. weaseLOIdWeaselly.jpg~ 07:37, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
I didn't post that to make fun of the condition. A close friend of mine who was diagnosed as BP narrowly survived an attempted suicide. However, he does admit that he was suffering from some sort of psychiatric condition. Being "cured" may only be a diminution of the symptoms. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 07:48, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
I know you didn't, I just posted to make sure that this topic doesn't get out of hand, you know how rationalwiki can get sometimes. I guess one can say they are cured when they recognise they have the disorder and take the steps necessary to avoid recurrence of the bad symptoms - I suppose I would be cured under this definitionDamoHi 08:02, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Just on that - doesn't the list of famous sufferers (in the 1st para) kinda shoot holes in Andy's "librul causes everything but athlete's foot" theory? How is his theory going to explain away Churchill and Buzz Aldrin? --PsyGremlinWhut? 09:12, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Well Churchill changed parties a few times during his career. In fact in 1904 he switched to the (shock horror) Liberal Party. No doubt his mental illness can be attributed to those years.--DamoHi 10:19, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

Well, we may not know much about psychiatry but we do know a lot about Conservative and particularly his ability to be wrong about these sort of things, as such I propose we assume he does suffer from bipolar disorder, that all that stuff he obcessively spouts is a result of lack of medication and that we stop mocking him lest it turns out that we truly are abusing the mentally ill. NightFlare You don't see how sometime can estimate when the truth when someone else conceals it???? Godspeed [1] 12:48, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

Don't think so. For one thing, Ken's behaviour doesn't suggest bipolar at all (I lived with an extremely bipolar and ADD girlfriend for a while, and Ken's acts don't sound like hers at all). On the other hand, there's a lot to be said for an OCD theory, and maybe Borderline, or whatever they're calling it this week, as well. And as long as I'm baselessly speculating, let's say that Bungler is either a sociopath or does an amazing simulation of one, and Andy too but with the addition of a messiah complex of some degree. Jinx, of course, is borderline. Karajou doesn't have anything, he's just a pathetic dip who likes power. --Kels 12:58, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Are you sure? The bipolar disorder theory hypothesis would explain more than a few things, though come to think of it straight-out lying is one of the things I'd imagine Ken doing. Don't we have a psychology expert here on RW? NightFlare You don't see how sometime can estimate when the truth when someone else conceals it???? Godspeed [1] 19:03, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Once upon a long time ago, I was a psych student, but I only got through the first two years due to finances. Didn't get to a lot of clinical stuff, unfortunately. --Kels 19:18, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

CP misattribute[edit]

Some jackass called "PCarson" made some kind of fuss about something I wrote under the name "Harbinger" (oooh twinzies) on CP, but Karajou for some reason told him he was me and blocked him! Yay! I've never heard of this dude (Pcarson) in my life, but does blocking some random dude merit inclusion here? Harbinger 08:29, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

Probably happens very frequently. CP has enough paranoia to block anyone as a "sock" whether they are or not. The probably can't prove it either way, but these people don't need proof of anything, it's up to these accounts (who are permanently barred, by the way) to prove that they're not socks. It's the basic mentality. ArmondikoVnarchist 09:08, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Well it is kind of hard to prove so maybe not add it to WIGO, we like solid links there. Where as putting it here on the talk gives us a chance to validate our opinion that Karajou is a mindless, bullying, power-crazed, banhammer-happy, sad, little man. - User \approx\piFor best results always render PNG 09:11, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
I reckon I have been blocked as a sock of Ames a least 3 times, any advances? - User \approx\piFor best results always render PNG 09:11, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
"Sock of user x", "Unused sock" or simply "sock" is the default line of ban excuses whenever some sysops like Karajou want to banhammer people who have done nothing wrong, but who are mildly annoying (for example by pointing out that those sysops are wrong about something). For extra Lulz, people like Henry then disable e-mail, so banned people will have a very hard time contacting any active sysop to fight the decision. --Sid 09:28, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
To be fair, the holy writ does (kinda sorta) mention that sock puppets will be blocked...See the third sentence after the commandments proper. The "sock block" reason was added to the Ipbreason list in July 2008...For the three people who aren't RW janitors, this dropdown list appears when a sysop goes to block someone to save time and effort in banhammering. CЯacke® 10:12, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
True, but the point is that some sysops are often simply guessing (or worse: lying) now: "I don't like you, so let me just check back at who I blocked within the last 24 hours, and then I'll simply declare you to be a sock of that user!" And whenever people ask stuff like "You blocked him for being a sock but failed to mention whose sock it was. Could you tell me?" or "Is there any evidence that these people are socks?", they get a "MYOB" block or one of those "You could of course keep asking questions, but your last contrib was talk, talk, talk, so you violate 90/10... just saying... someone might block you if you keep it up..." quasi-warnings. One of the perks of zero accountability, I guess. --Sid 10:28, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Well, Karajou often guesses from my IP address that it's me - and blocks me before I can do one single edit. But he blocks me as Ace McWicked. As I am quite sure that Ace has never used an IP address anywhere near to my addresses, he just baselessly made his mind that I am Ace. Bohdan instead, he has fun saying that everybody is Ames. Editor at CPOh, Finland! Why? 10:42, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
And now I'm BJones. No Karajou, BJones doesn't need my socks. Editor at CPOh, Finland! Why? 13:51, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
I cracked up at this diff Keklik 10:17, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Even conservative vandalism gets the banhammer. weaseLOIdWeaselly.jpg~ 10:40, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

Image deletion[edit]

Did Andy get a letter from AP again, or what? --Kels 10:33, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

I'd got a screenshot all ready to upload whenmy computer went splaaa - with much the same question. SusanG  ContribsTalk 11:11, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Huh...I wonder if someone <cough> narc'd on them.--WJThomas 11:36, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Francis G does that from time to time, especially re JoaQUIM's uploads. (Or so I've heard) SusanG  ContribsTalk 10:16, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

Call the FBI[edit]

Oh noes, somebody's in biiiig trouble! Bondurant 11:11, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

Heh, I like the comment that caused it:
Andy, I really think you need to deny these gerbil rumors. They aren't going away and your silence is telling. BrianS 10:50, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Crundy 11:30, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
IP address reported to law enforcement? I'd like to hear that conversation. 'Hey, some guy keeps creating accounts for my open sourced wiki. Arrest him! Hello?' Czolgolz 11:31, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Yeah, I was about to say, I'm sure the cops and FBI are gonna drop everything their doing (organized ctime, gang wars, drug dealer etc) and track down that bastard that made a unsubtle inuendo about Andy and Gerbils.... God save those fine policeman that have the time to protect rich people from uncomfortable comments. SirChuckBCall the FBI 12:01, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Well as the so-called "gerbil rumours"are not actually spelled out, Andy's response speaks volumes. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 12:05, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Threats and avoidance, rather than denials. That's as good as a confession! --Kels 12:29, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
The comment on Andy's talk page was funny as is, but is there something more to it? (i.e. are gerbils a running joke?)-- Antifly Now with 50% less retirement! 13:21, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
you mean over and above the traditional gerbil joke? I don't think so... SirChuckBCall the FBI 13:51, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
With any luck, they will be. DickTurpis 13:56, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Damn, BillGer just got blocked. Well at least Sideways is making sure the topic stays in RC. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 14:36, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Heh. I kindof wish I hadn't googled that...-- Antifly Now with 50% less retirement! 19:42, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

Classes[edit]

Does anyone else find it odd that his courses on the Supreme Court and Critical Thinking in Math are still featured on the main page, even though it's been over a year that they've been imminent and it's clear they aren't happening? I think he was sufficiently pwned by people who actually know math beyond the Andy/Ed Poor level, who insisted that he was well out of his league in his "critical thinking" course. He never said he was giving up, but it's clear he lost interest shortly after that. Though, in true conservative style, he does cling to the past; he's unable to let go of these courses infested only with parodists, and he even brags about his points in contest 4 ten months later (really Andy, you just archived absolutely everything else on your talk page except that). DickTurpis 12:16, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

I dunno about that course, but this page of notes is utterly hilarious. I especially like the paragraph on authority, and the one about how he can't mark all the papers at once, presumably because of the gag reflex. --Kels 12:28, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
"Beware over-reliance on authority. Unless we’re talking about the Bible, authority is not always going to be correct." - That says it all really. (BTW Kels I'd been looking for that quote on burnout, thanks). Test 12:44, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
(ec) I particularly like:"Ask yourself, what’s the point of the question? " SusanG  ContribsTalk 12:47, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
For Andy's exams, it's more like "Ask yourself, what answer does Andy most want to hear?" Fine training for future toadies. --Kels 13:00, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
And this!:
3. Explain what you like most about George Washington.
What I like most about George Washington is his ability to be incredibly powerful and incredibly humble at the same time. He never got full of himself. His ambitions were centered on what was best for others.
Effing hell! what are these answers? & superb was the invigilator's comment!!!!!!!SusanG  ContribsTalk13:04, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Critical Thinking class. That's a good one. oh, wait... it's not a joke?  ;-) These questions make me really hope none of these students wants to move on to college. they will be massacred. --Sun mowse.pngEn attendant Godot"«Poetry involves the mysteries of the irrational perceived through rational words. V.Nabokov» 14:24, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Perhaps it's meant as Critical of Thinking (for yourself)? CЯacke® 14:33, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Followed by supplementary critical thinking about the bible course, which consists of a single lecture entitled "Don't, it's bad for you." --JeevesMkII 14:55, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

I feel incredibly sorry for the students and their parents who believe they are getting taught a worthwhile course by a reasonable educator. It really is sad IMODamoHi 15:09, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

Even worse, when I look at this, I've gotta wonder if Andy's even doing most of the work. --Kels 15:19, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Well, Sharon is a TA for the course. She is also, by the way, something like 16 years old. DickTurpis 15:36, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Let's face it, she's a much better writer than Andy is. Which is really, really sad. --Kels 15:46, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
He talks about a mistake in the Kaplan text. Are they using a Kaplan review book as the primary text? That's like teaching English Lit with Cliff's Notes. CorryI'll be in the hospital bar. 15:50, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Well, I don't know this Kaplan text, but it's *got* to be better than conservapedia's "lecture notes" which are apparently sufficient to take the tests. I used to say my students could not get a 100% if they did NOT go outside of the class material to bring in either a unique insight that shows they'd really contemplated the class, or that they'd simply found other things to read. But in this class, you should only go outside the notes if you can't figure out the answer? wtf.--Sun mowse.pngEn attendant Godot"«Poetry involves the mysteries of the irrational perceived through rational words. V.Nabokov» 16:45, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

WTF?[edit]

So someone at CP creates a debate page in which he argues that no one argues about what he's debating. Am I missing something or is this typical CP idiocy or parody? DickTurpis 14:07, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

Someone added a redlink to that page on the Debate topics page, but never started the debate. StevenM must have seen the red link and decided to respond to the empty debate. JazzMan 14:12, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
That's so cute, BrianCo thinks he forgot a zero... Can't you understand he is making fun of creationnists? 160.228.152.6 18:51, 6 October 2008 (EDT)

Canadian25[edit]

I was looking through the block log and found someone called Canadian25 being blocked for 'Liberal Vandalism'. Looking at their changes, the first was quite funny (on the Obama page):

Hello, I'm not familiar with your site's guidelines about editing, so I won't bother changing any of your articles (no matter how silly they may be), all I want to say is, as someone with common sense and as a citizen of North America: Dear God, please, please... I hope no9 one takes this web-site seriously.

But the other was a bit more vandalous; they replaced the entire John McCain page with "LIES!".

From the looks of it they had just stumbled on CP, so kudos to you, Canadian25, whoever you are. I hope you stumble upon RationWiki soon.

Planes, trains and automobiles[edit]

That lastest WIGO I posted really makes me wonder. I mean, is this a history test for infants? "He knew nothing about planes or automobiles". What the fuck? Ace McWickedcast ye the first stone 19:39, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

And another thing, while I am all drunk and angry (and, ironically, while I am avoiding studying for my university history exam) look at the first honours answer here. That's not interesting Andy, it a FAIL! Ace McWickedcast ye the first stone 20:34, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
I was kicked out of history classes in 1958, but I reckon that an hour's study would give me a degree by Andy's standards.. They're so awful it's not funny any more - those poor kids! SusanG  ContribsTalk 20:38, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
I know, fucking hell. I could pass these tests even if my eyes had been dug out with spatulas. Poor wee tykes. Ace McWickedcast ye the first stone 20:40, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
That one is truly bizarre. His posts are usually quite simple-minded, but this time it seems like he literally got drunk and/or angry and started rambling without thinking.
I especially like the part "The following would be true about Mr. Biden EXCEPT:" ... and then a list of vague statements. So if that's untrue ... what was it that was supposedly true?
And, what is the actual question?? Etc 20:45, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
I am not sure what he is asking. I can see in the critical thinking in math (if it is ever completed by Maths Genius Andy) a question like - "If you are a cotton picker in 1858, called Obama, and your master asks you to pick 8 bales in 1 hour, how many bales can you pick in your 15hr work day to avoid a beating?" Ace McWickedcast ye the first stone 20:50, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
No Andy's critical thinking in maths questions would be "what is wrong with proof by contradiction", "tell me three flaws in Wiles' proof of Fermat's last theorem". - User \approx\piFor best results always render PNG 20:55, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Hahaha no Pi, it would be "why do liberals think 2+2=5" Bahahaha Ace McWickedcast ye the first stone 20:59, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
<edit conflicts>Yeah, the question confused me as well. But on re-reading it, & looking up the Know Nothing Party (who I'd never heard of before, but I'm not American so that's my excuse), I think the most bizarre thing is that for no reason at all he's associating Joe Biden with a racist political movement from 150 years ago. It goes beyond the usual anti-Democrat crazy raving and smears to just plain weird territory. weaseLOIdWeaselly.jpg~ 20:57, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
Not so much racist as anti-Catholic. Linking a Catholic like Joe Biden to the Know-Nothings is like "Jews 4 Jesus" Francine 21:36, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
(ec x 2!!!!) Why doesn't the man (?) compose his screeds offline & drop them in finished? His way of working exposes the ridiculishness of his mind's working to all and sundry, even us and his 'pupils'. SusanG  ContribsTalk 20:58, 3 October 2008 (EDT)
I find it funny one of the "true" answers is disliking the Republican party, when only a couple of years later the bulk of party members joined...the Republicans! --Kels 21:12, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

"These questions require at most one or a few sentences to answer; you do not always need to write complete sentences. Pay attention to reading the questions carefully and answering all of their parts." that is just repugnant. 1) no one on conservapedia could write a coherent complex sentence if he tried, and 2) isn't encouraging them to write well, (which includes writing complex sentences) an important part of teaching? Or is he just incapible of reading anything beyond "see dick run" "kiss teacher's ass".--Sun mowse.pngEn attendant Godot"«Poetry involves the mysteries of the irrational perceived through rational words. V.Nabokov» 21:17, 3 October 2008 (EDT)

  • Student 21 - "4. The greatest invention of the 1990s was the cotton gin."
    • AS - Excellent [2]

Can't he read? Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 13:14, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

No. --Purple George!YossieSpring in Fialta 21:50, 5 October 2008 (EDT)

What's the lowest grade Andy's ever given?[edit]

Has anyone made a chart of the grade distribution for Andy's history homeworks so far? I think the lowest grade I've seen so far is 66/70; I'm sure there couldn't be any lower than 90/100 or 60/70, since each homework only has about 10 questions on it to begin with. Someone should make a pretty graph! --Marty 00:20, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

The more important question is what is the lowest mark he can give? He starts at either 100 or 70 and subtract marks. The most I have seen him subtract for a blatantly wrong answer was two marks. I think he has 7 to 10 questions per assignments so the lowest mark you could receive would be either 56/70 or 80/100. - User \approx\piFor best results always render PNG 03:26, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
In my admittedly limited research on the subject, I've never found him to go below the 90% threshold. Are there any examples of a 60/70? --Purple George!YossieSpring in Fialta 16:56, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
It's a bit bizarre. It seems you get the same ten points for a simple question of fact as you do for one that requires you to interpret evidence and draw a conclusion (or as close as Assfly ever comes to such a question, which is basically to ask people to express an opinion.) Typically, real actual homework would stage questions on a topic, starting with questions worth one mark for regurgitating facts and proceeding to maybe 5 or 10 point questions on harder subjects. I remember at school, the exam advice was always if the question was worth 10 marks, you needed to make 10 specific points at least to get the marks. I don't possibly see how one line answers like "I like Washington because he was awesome" or whatever can possibly be worth 10. --JeevesMkII 21:22, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

Done. User:Marty/American History Homeworks. The all-time low is 90/100, given on Homework One. Andy didn't hand out a 100/100 until Homework Three (when he did it three times, plus two 70/70s). The lowest non-honors grade so far is 64/70. --Marty 03:36, 6 October 2008 (EDT)

Paranoia is the result of inflated self-importance[edit]

Someone created a new user account for CSeedorf on the CP at about 2pm and made exactly one brief edit to create a user page and make the red link blue. The edit consisted of the following text: "I play soccer." The response by CP at 10pm after thinking about it for eight hours was this: blocked User:CSeedorf with an expiry time of infinite (account creation disabled): Parodist: Typical 'new' user parodist. Wow. Francine 00:12, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

Well, I think it's no coincidence that he was blocked by LT, considering one of his three edits was a revert of one of LT's edits(even calling it "silly"). So, self-importance, yes, but paranoia, I'd say not in this case. --Arcan ¡ollǝɥ 00:24, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
That actually is a tactic people use sometimes, since red user names are more obvious on the recent changes list. So it's not too paranoid. JazzMan 00:42, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
One can imagine the transcript of the Conservapedia Select Committee on Un-Andrewian Activities: "Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Parodist Party?" Francine 00:53, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
I'm not sure that's the question that gets asked.... JazzMan 01:00, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
To use an analogy, the usual response is something like "BANG! Well, he looked like a librul to me..." --PsyGremlinWhut? 04:01, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
To be fair, Clarence Seedorf is a fairly well-known Dutch footballer, and it's probably quite unlikely that he's decided to join CP. alt 06:46, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
And to be fairer, I someone registered CSeedorf a few minutes after ClarenceS was blocked. Still, my his revert of LT's edit was legitimate. I mean, changing Kennedy from handsome to tanned..? Editor at CPOh, Finland! Why? 08:35, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
My understanding is that one reason JFK was so tanned (on top of plenty of yachting) was that he had Addison's disease. CorryI'll be in the hospital bar. 15:39, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
True, but the problem is that it's also something tons of normal people do. It's kinda like declaring someone to be a terrorist because he's wearing a turban or because he has a long beard (or whatever the current signs are - I sorta lost track). The same goes for things like cp:Obama syndrome - people join the wiki and try to improve/fix the high profile articles. But in Andyland, new people aren't allowed to touch any of the sysop pet articles, so unless they start their wiki career working on things like cp:Appalachian Regional Commission, they are also branded as a parodist or a liberal (depending on whether they agreed with Andy or not). Or take talk page edits. You join, you make a careful request on the talk page, and you might get a 90/10 warning. Genuine new people on CP are pretty much doomed. Only the well-trained observers have a real chance of survival. Ironic, isn't it? --Sid 07:14, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

admin... what admin?[edit]

I had a quick look around CP's maintenance category and it became abundantly clear that the admins Andy has appointed (including Brother Leader himself) either have no interest in, or are incapable of, performing any sort of maintenance of that site. Even their Wikignome, Interiot, hasn't been active since April. Maybe he also threw in the towel, or was blocked for librul editing.

Instead of rolling up their sleeves and trying to make that blog vaguely tidy, they all swagger around like a bunch of little Himmlers (altho Karajerk reminds me more of Roehm) and do very little to benefit the site. Ok, they block vandals (real and perceived), but if they didn't allow Andy and Ken to write the hate-filled drivel they do, they wouldn't be inundated (and goodness - they have been swamped lately) with people poking fun at them.

So, let's see what needs doing over there:
Merge requests: 208 articles
Unsourced statements : 436 (excluding talk pages)
AFD : 72 (which means these haven't been deleted, or subsequently removed and the delete tag removed.
Content disputes : 0 (like that would be allowed to happen!)
Rewrite candidates: 8 (not bad, except cp:Vietnam War is one of them.
Expansion candidates: 4 (what! ah, that doesn't include stubs - goodness know how many of those there are)
Major improvement: 14 (including 2 under science articles)
Proper referencing: 51

The latter numbers aren't too bad, but it's the first three give a clear indication that those over there are more interested in pushing and protecting their POV (as well as giving crap lectures) than actually running the site as an encyclopaedia.

Come on Bungler and Jinx hi Jinx! (and the rest of you that read TWIGO) - if you want that sysopship, stop acting like the complete twats you are, roll up your sleeves and do some friggin work for a change. Show us you actually care about Andy's blog and aren't just there to get your rocks off on some little power trip. PsyGremlinWhut? 04:38, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

I'm afraid that Andy doesn't appreciate the finer points of running wiki, a he's only interested in his POV-pushing. Things like category structure, title case, attribution of non-PD images, use of colour, citations, infoboxes, navigation templates etc., are immaterial to him. The whole site is an uncoordinated visual mess and the only sysop who actually attempts to improve it is PJR. Fox made some good contributions but without a dedicated steward these things slip back. TK was able to enforce things but only at Andy's direction. Andy doesn't trust templates as he doesn't understand them and thinks they can be used to distribute "unsuitable" material to lots of pages at once. Templates impose uniformity and provide an easy way of navigating the site. Some lesser editors made attempts to improve the situation but there was no-one to provide oversight.
Andy also wanted to have a flat category structure so that his students didn't have to wade through various levels. Of course that just leads to category bloat so that you can't find relevant related topics. At times the likes of Azipharale, Iduan, HelpJazz, Brianco, Foxtrot, Taj and even Learn together (pre-sysop days) tried to do something but apart from PJR and his Article Renaming Project there is no coordinator. And even the ARP is fighting a losing battle as more articles are being created than are being fixed. These people ultimately get discouraged because they are fighting a lone battle with no support and no authority. Andy is not going to give someone who wants to fix all the style and content issues sysop powers which they genuinely need to constructively move and delete pages, unlike Ken's operation fortress (stop anyone else editing his article) and grassroots (bury it under the lawn). He'll promote someone like Bugler who throws his weight around like a skinhead in a synagogue. The extra powers of sysopship are largely wasted as these thugs already have blocking rights. Being a sysop may lend more "authority" but ultimately one needs to be a bureaucrat to wield it effectively against others with block rights. As it stands that responsibility falls to Andy as his two capos (SharonS & Jallen) are effectively toothless lapdogs.
The problem is that not even the sysops can write a proper wiki article (I'll except PJR & TerryH here) which is correctly titled, formatted, wiki-linked in the right places, categorised and which uses infoboxes and navigation templates. I've also noticed that several infoboxes are downright ugly with thick black borders, no subtlety of colour or design. The same goes for the front page, it looks like a family fridge with day-glo magnets, shopping-lists and random memos stuck all over it. It's not just Andy and CP of course, I write a lot of professional reports which are distributed internationally throughout the company and have been fighting an uphill battle against my co-workers who have no innate sense of aesthetics and use a mishmash of colour and fonts. I learned very early on in my career that people lose interest very quickly if something is not pleasing on the eye. Like Scandinavian interior design, clarity and simplicity combine to produce an elegant product. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 06:25, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
Well, look up any "10 rules of web design" that you can pull out of a google search result and the only boxes CP ticks are the ones that are built in to Media Wiki by default. Though they do have the policy of "no distracting templates", which is bizarre because even the most templat-tastic wikipedia article isn't that distracting. Unless they're all suffering from a suped up form of ADHD that reduces attention spans to mere milliseconds (the average article length would certainly suggest that). Though I must admit that RW isn't much better in places, in the places where people have come together to organise, it's been done bloody well. And at least Trent and a few others do some housework occaisionally. ArmondikoVnarchist 09:31, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
One of my pet hates is different sizes of userboxes. Most WP pages are fine with templates, however some of the talk-page templates have large icons and take up a lot of space. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 09:39, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
Some reference to psy's figures above could be made on Andy S (no jokes) - - indication of his TOTAL incompetence? SusanG  ContribsTalk 10:09, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

That President Palin video[edit]

In answer to the the "Name that tune" thread that was archived a few days back, the music at the start of the Palin video was from the 'King Arthur' soundtrack. — Unsigned, by: Genghis Khant / talk / contribs

Whoa, sweet! Thanks for the update! :D And damn, it's a Hans Zimmer OST? Totally going onto my buying list then; love his work. --Sid 06:59, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

Siteadmin?[edit]

I understand what most of the other user rights are, but could someone explain to me exactly what powerz "siteadmins" possess? I'm curious because, notably, in the list of users with siteadmin rights Jinxmchue is the only non-sysop listed, and I couldn't help but wonder what powerz Aschlafly gave Jinx. Star of David.png Radioactive afikomen Please ignore all my awful pre-2014 comments. 05:04, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

It allows access to CP's quantum technology, enabled Jinx to simultaneously be kissing Andy's ass while remaining fully inserted within it.--Tom Moorefiat justitia ruat coelum 05:26, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
It allows Jinx to turn the site's database on and off especially in times of high vandalism. - User \approx\piFor best results always render PNG 05:56, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
One day I'm going to turn editing back on after Andy's hit the sack and let all you parodists have free rein. But don't hold your breath.67.135.49.198 06:34, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
Thanks Jinx we look forward to it. You now have an article read about yourself, look in the Conservapedia portal. - User \approx\piFor best results always render PNG 07:00, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
Thanks Genghis for getting my hopes up. I am never here when Jinx comes around. How can I participate in Jinx baiting if I can't find a Jinx? - User \approx\piFor best results always render PNG 07:15, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
Jinx hi Jinx!, you're looking in the wrong place if you think we're a bunch of parodists - we just want to tell the truthtm. A good place to start your search for parodists would be here. Bondurant 08:00, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
Bonny, you might like to examine this thread in greater detail. ;) Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 08:19, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
Ah, I see. Cut me a break; I was on a leaving do last night and am suffering from the effects of too many Becks and a nasty kebab. The higher functions of my brain are on power saving mode at the moment. Bondurant 08:23, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
Ah, okay. Thank you for answering me, Pi. Star of David.png Radioactive afikomen Please ignore all my awful pre-2014 comments. 13:43, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

The fact that Jinxmchue is the only non-sysop with the siteadmin ability suggests to me that he's on Andy's short list for potential sysops. Star of David.png Radioactive afikomen Please ignore all my awful pre-2014 comments. 13:43, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

Andy's grading routine.... Why delete?[edit]

Is there any reason that Andy deletes and restores the students' papers before grading them? Could he be fixing the papers up so they look less bad? PFoster 09:01, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

Hide the students' name? You can read their names just after they have submitted in the page history. - User \approx\piFor best results always render PNG 09:07, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
Right. Move along. Nothing to see here. PFoster 09:08, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

Cryptic WIGO references[edit]

Let's try to make them obvious. The "have you stopped beating your wife" and "karajou-causality" ones have me a bit stumped and I know the cast of characters. That said maybe we could include a breif list of the players somewhere on WIGO (maybe as a right justified sidebar) to orient casual readers. Something like:

  1. Andy: Owner of Conservapedia, biblical revisionist and self-described master of all knowledge
  2. Karojou: Former US naval low life and security guard. Anti intellectual coward/bully/blowhard
  3. Conservative: Incompetant promoter of purient articles. Fascinated by homosexuality
  4. Philip J Rayment silver tongued fundalmentalist. advocate of well mannered Christain fascism

Exasperate me!Sheesh!Not the most impressive contributor here 09:10, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

Interesting. You wouldn't want to knock one up for us to look at? - User \approx\piFor best results always render PNG 09:22, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
There is a massive list of the sysops and many of them have their own pages, you pick it up eventually. It usually doesn't matter who is part of the story, it could just be any faceless individual spouting BS. But it is interesting to track which one says what type of things. It gives the pantomime some extra depth. ArmondikoVnarchist 09:24, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
Sheesh ain't exactly a noobie here. The wife-beating thing follows Mommy-dearest's preaching that the man is boss and therefore anything that challenges that ethos is evel librulizm. A man should be able to beat and rape his wife whenever he wants without outside interference. The Kowardjerk causality is that both socks are blocked for being a sock of the other, sort of circle-Koward-jerk. (I was JessicaA and BillGer) Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 09:34, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
I intentionally made the causality one a little vague, as explaining it outright would have made the entry too long and dry. But yeah, it's not just that JessicaA and BillGer were blocked as circular socks, but that BillGer was blocked as a sock of the blocked JessicaA before JessicaA was blocked as a sock of the blocked BillGer. Temporal tunneling, perhaps? Kallium 11:21, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
How do WP do that thing where a precis of the article or whatever comkes up when you mouseover links? we could do taht & give every sysop a page to link to with potted biogs thereon. No? SusanG  ContribsTalk 10:06, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

Sheesh, the stuff you're looking for is at Conservapedia: Newcomer's Guide, and to a lesser extent Conservapedia: Sysops. They're linked in the CP template box at the top right of the WIGO page. Maybe we should also link to the Newcomer's Guide in the text at the top of WIGO, since many of the entries kindof assume some basic knowledge of the cast of characters, & n00bs or casual editors may want to familiarise/remind themself of who's who. weaseLOIdWeaselly.jpg~ 10:19, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

Who cares about the bit players? Go to Conservapedia:Gang of Four, your one-stop shopping center for the straight scoop and all the current and former CP superstars. Francine 11:30, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

Biden on Palestine[edit]

CP on the front page is attacking Biden for mistakes during the debate. One of them is that he doesn't know the difference between Gaza and the West Bank, citing this little gem. Now, isn't that blatantly wrong? Didn't the elections won by Hamas cover both areas until the schism that came later? The PNA had authority over both areas at the time, didn't they? I know it's almost unbelievable that CP would feature an error on their front page. DickTurpis 09:14, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

Court cases[edit]

Just followed a link from WIGO and checked a few more: shouldn't Andy's famous catalogue of 7,000,000approx court cases be given dates or Roll Numbers or something? There's no way of knowing, at first glance, if a case is 1926 or 2008. In the majority of cases you have to look in the references, on occasion actually going to them. And the categorisation! cp:Vonderheide_v._Flanders is only in "Domestic Violence" - No category for "court cases", "feminism" (surprised he missed that!) or even "liberal deceit". SusanG  ContribsTalk 11:14, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

This is really part of the admin stuff above. If Andy wants to make CP the ultimate resource for Supreme Court decisions he needs to categorise them all so that they can be linked in several ways. But like his overall goal for CP it's just some airy-fairy idea for which he can't formulate a plan. No wonder he's not a practising court-room lawyer. It's an ambitious project which if he actually enagaged other editors, trusted them, and gave them responsibilites then he might get somewhere. The problem is that he can't work either as a leader or as a team member. I think he's a really sad case and is one of the reasons that I despise heredited wealth. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 11:31, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

A new RationalWiki Challenge?[edit]

The section above about Andy's lowest grade inspired this, and it's a two-parter:

Part 1 - Enroll in the online version of Andy's next course and get a failing grade, despite being unable to coherently or meaningfully answer any of his questions (the Palin Round).
Part 2 - Enroll in the online version of Andy's next course, and see what grades you get when you answer every question correctly by objective standards, but using the polar opposite of Andy's worldview like praising the vikings over Columbus, using old-earth references or real science, etc. (The Lenski Round) --SpinyNorman 11:36, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
I don't believe that any of his "students" are actually totally "on-line". I think he knows them all, or their parents, personally. SusanG  ContribsTalk 11:40, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
I think the grades he's posting are from his in-person class in NJ, but I'm thinking about the online one offered through Eagle Forum. --SpinyNorman 11:45, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
(like, second EC in row here...) Even if some of them were purely on line it would probably more difficult than it sounds. For a start, you've put the idea on WIGO so that's upped Andy's paranoia by default. I hate to think of how much background work a sock would have to put in to be even considered anything other than a parody though. If you can think of some decent cover though that could get you in though, that would work. ArmondikoVnarchist 11:46, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
Putting this on TWIGO doesn't actually take away from the challenge - if anything it'll make Andy start to think twice about the answers he gets even if nothing is done. It may not be practical, but I liked the idea because it was a non-vandalistic way of calling him out on his alleged "teaching". --SpinyNorman 12:20, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

Halloween Craft Project[edit]

Does anyone with more time on their hands than me have the ability to take the pics of Andy and Ed, and blow them up into full-size images that can be printed and used for Halloween masks? Ideally they'd be cropped to an oval pattern and have the spaces for cutting eye and mouth-openings highlighted. --SpinyNorman 11:45, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

That would be admitting you have too much time on your hands. Although Andy does look like a halloween mask. ArmondikoVnarchist 11:47, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
Just had a mental image of a group of kids wearing Andy-masks, marching like zombies, and muttering "brainnns". The caption would be "the newest class of graduates leaves "Professor" Andy Schlafly's class after - ahem - having their minds opened up to the truth... -`SpinyNorman 12:23, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
I'd do it for ya but it would mean looking at their ugly mugs for more than the usual 3 seconds I can stomach. Just save the pics to your 'puter, double click on them to open in any random application, hit "print preview" and muck with the options. If you can't tell where the eyes and mouths are to cut them out, ask an innocent bystander to help. You do have rounded-blade scissors, right? ħumanUser talk:Human 02:40, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
Not since an unfortunate running incident some time back... --SpinyNorman 19:01, 6 October 2008 (EDT)

Concerned about Ed[edit]

I know this has been WIGO Talked a few days ago, but Ed Poor is still missing. In a few hours it will be exactly one month without his insightful contributions. What happened to him? Editor at CPOh, Finland! Why? 13:50, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

Perhaps he thinks that the destruction of the mathematical articles at CP is completed and his work is done... --LArron 13:53, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
Nah, he's probably started a new term or semester somewhere, teaching maths, and just hasn't the time to go online. Bondurant 13:54, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
In a stupidity coma? Jailed for stalking young girls? Exceeded the Chandrasekhar limit and collapsed under his own obesity? On a month-long orgy of sucking Andy's cock? Dead? Does anyone honestly care? DickTurpis 13:55, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
"Exceeded the Chandrasekhar limit and collapsed under his own obesity?" Bahahahaha thats excellent. Ace McWickedcast ye the first stone 16:54, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
He just made that one creepy edit about the age of the girls in Sense & Sensibility at WP on 30 Sep. It's amazing how these perves can't help themselves sometimes. Just like the Jinx hi Jinx! and his penis obsession. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 14:16, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
Maybe he wants to change the laws of mathematics so teen girls are legal. Francine 09:38, 5 October 2008 (EDT)

OMGOMGOMG!!!![edit]

I can't believe how damn easy it is to sneak utter nonsense into CP articles and get it stuck there for months on end! Just find a topic that is slightly beyond nursery school level (and not a field of expertise (if there is such a thing) of one of the CP regulars), and write up something vaguely plausible but nonetheless pure BS. Nobody will notice! CP must be overflowing with crap of this kind! And I'm not talking about conservative-versus-liberal "bias" issues - I mean pure unadulterated BS. (It's also funny to observe that "WTF???" moment when an expert finally comes along and doesn't even know where to begin fixing the steaming pile of BS in front of him...)

Well, sorry if this was OT, but I really had to get this out of the system... Carry on... --69.50.225.250 14:34, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

Are you referring to anything in particular we should be looking at, or is this some undiscovered vandalism you would prefer to remain undisclosed? DickTurpis 14:36, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
Putting utter nonsense into a CP article is easy, it's putting sense into them that's the hard part. Bondurant 14:38, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
Eggsellent snark. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 14:59, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
The trick is to come up with a political angle. You could write an article about fictionite being a catalyst proven to covert ordinary sand into hydrogen gas, so long as you suggest that Democrats are blocking the mining of fictionite in Idaho because it is a red state. Francine 14:55, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

LOL arguably you are right Bondurant. What I'm trying to say, there is Conservative BS, which is the hallmark of CP, and then there is "random" BS, which even CP doesn't like (but it's full of it nonetheless). Most of what I threw at it over time is still sticking. A nice example (though by far not one of the most egregious ones) that comes to mind and which was eventually eliminated back in August is this diff from January, cf discussion; though apparently this was somewhat in line with CP ideology (not sure why): Aschlafly enjoyed it... --Just passing by 14:52, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

By the way, one I really loved but which sadly was far too obvious to survive more than a few minutes was this one - that "sequel" remark just cracked me up! Kudos to whomever came up with this... --Just passing by 15:03, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

Poe's Law, again...(Only her stylist knows for sure...)PFoster 17:03, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
That's just great, I'm quite astounded by that and the fact that it has survived without being deleted as a parody.
On another note, I saw this from one of the links posted by Just passing by. So if Ed was in the 99th percentile, what on Earth happened to the rest of the class??? Is one of them the current governor of Alaska? Bondurant 17:29, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
This is just like Andy's "I excelled in statistics class in college!" crap. Rather than support either of their claims of expertise, it undermines them. If they actually had any real achievements int hese areas they wouldn't have to go back to their grades in high school and college 30 years ago. Doing well on a test when you were 16 doesn't mean you know shit about anything today. Both Ed and Andy have demonstrated quite clearly their utter incompetence in these fields. It's like claiming I'm a great artist because I was the best at keeping inside the lines of my coloring books when I was 6. DickTurpis 17:45, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
So you're allowing for the possibility that Ed Poor was once in the top 1% of his class at mathematics? I prefer the theory that he was always an idiot :-p Bondurant 17:51, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
I'm open to the idea. Average scores on the SATs are not exactly terribly high. And there's nothing on the test that you have to know a hell of a lot about math to get right. There's no calculus, for instance. Maybe he mastered trig in high school. Hardly makes him Euler. It has nothing to do with hi current abilities. The point is, whatever he did 30 years ago, now he doesn't know A/B=C is the same as C*B=A. That's the telling bit. DickTurpis 17:56, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
I saw a line a while ago (can't find it now) wherein someone made a comment about not understanding a scientific topic well enough (referring to his/herself, not CP admins) and needing to learn more before commenting further. Helpful Ed literally said "I did pretty well in science class in school. Try me." So he's an expert in all sciences because he did well in a grade school class?! He hasn't the slightest inkling that "science class" and science in practice are vastly different things, not to mention the very cursory nature of such classes. Also, not only does Aschlafly use a course grade from long ago in an attempt to justify his statements, he also requires it of others. Remember the Lenski affair? Lenski publishes numerous highly mathematical and statistically technical articles (like so many in evolutionary biology) over a couple decades, but all Aschlafly wants is to know is what his grade in biostats was before his career even began! So practical experience means nothing to Schlafly- decades of application doesn't matter for Lenski. If Andy got an A in a statistics course (hypothetically) in college, and Lenski got a B+, then Andy's statistical opinion is paramount. Grades are everything, regardless of numerous other factors. This would likely explain his grading habits discussed elsewhere on this page. Of course he certainly can't say he did better than Lenski in advanced microbiology, genetics and evolutionary theory, so on that front he simply resorts to calling Lenski a fraud. I'm focusing on the Lenski affair as that is where most of my CP experience has been, but the point is that yes, all they have to go on are some scores from many years ago, and so the strategy is to demand copies of their opponents' transcripts to verify who has "expertise". Of course nobody is going to do that (Schlafly hasn't either, to my knowledge), and until they do their opinion means nothing and the home team self-assigns expertise by default. Kallium 20:21, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
Okay, in retrospect that became a bona-fide rant. But I should add that credential-throwing is why, presumably unknown to Andy and Ed (I'm sure one of them will read this), transcript grades and standardized test scores expire, at least for official purposes. I did very well in biochemistry, but in a decade or so it will no longer count as fulfilling a requirement if I have done no additional work in the subject since. Thus, if in 2023 I enroll in a biochemistry PhD program I'll have to repeat those courses because by then I'll have largely forgotten them. Likewise, regarding standardized testing- specifically to address Ed's 99th percentile- my biology GRE score was in the 98th percentile, but like anyone who takes a standardized test, I have to recognize that it is a) relative to others who took the same version of the test and b) meaningless in a few years (five years total, I think), because unless I thoroughly review the material on occasion, I'm going to slowly forget much of it. Continued competence requires continued practice. That's also why CPR certificates expire- think about that one for a moment! Kallium 20:47, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
And CPR (which expires in 2 years or so, if I recall) is much more simple than advanced math or statistics. It involves counting to ten and a very simple physical component. DickTurpis 21:07, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
Exactly. Of course, the consequences are more immediately severe for CPR. Imagine an off-duty ER doctor seeing someone performing it incorrectly on a victim who doesn't even need it, thus breaking all the ribs and crushing a perfectly functional heart, especially if the hands are positioned a couple inches too low, in which case the xiphoid process snaps off and the heart gets stabbed with every compression! Now imagine said doctor trying to stop this overzealous rescuer only to have them say "I excelled in CPR class fifteen years ago, so I'm sure I know it better than you. Now bugger off and bring me your medical school records, assuming you have any!" Now imagine you're the unconscious fellow being "rescued"... (Aside: my Red Cross cert is 1 year, but others may be different. BTW, it's ten and two- don't forget the breaths! (: ) Kallium 23:07, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
I discovered that the procedures for CPR changed had changed since the last time I did the course in 2004 (in the UK) and they have pretty much given up on it as it has such a low rate of success. All those defib machines are much more effective. Having said that I had to give a guy CPR whilst on vacation in Hawaii after he collapsed on the tennis court. I was just passing by and everyone else just went into headless chicken mode. I really wish he'd had a shave that morning. Unfortunately I was probably too late and he never recovered. It was the first day of the trip and it completely ruined my holiday. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 03:19, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
Kissing a bristly dead guy: Ghastly. ħumanUser talk:Human 03:35, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
Unfortunately you're right about the success rate. When I was taught, the goal wasn't so much resuscitation as keeping the brain oxygenated enough until a defib arrived. I mean the procedure wasn't any different, but there was more sober realism in the target outcome: you probably won't save them yourself, just keep them alive as long as possible and hope better help arrives quickly. It was a rather depressing course. Kalliumtalk 12:32, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
It seemed like it took 5 minutes for the medics to get all their shit out of the ambulance before they came over and relieved me. Two jolts with the defib and then "sorry he's a goner". Not one iota of urgency. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 12:44, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
That's... unfortunate, to put it kindly. The week after I got my certification, I was in a building where a 1 year-old apparently stopped breathing (I was in a different room and heard whispers passing through the crowd). That was quite terrifying- there was definitely some of that deer-in-the-headlights feeling. But fortunately the baby started breathing again shortly and the situation resolved itself. That was several years ago; haven't had another encounter since. Kalliumtalk 12:57, 5 October 2008 (EDT)

Palin a Christian?[edit]

Palin does not belong to a church, and she named her kids with non-biblical names. That's enough evidence for me! Coarb 15:49, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

Not Biblical, exactly, but the Apocrypha has both The Gospel of Track and the Gospel of Piper. DickTurpis 18:44, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
Is there also a Gospel of Bristol? I went to pantomime there once... ħumanUser talk:Human 18:47, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
She uses an atheist pronunciation for "Russia", too. --Kels 15:56, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
Everyone knows that people who wear glasses to correct their vision go against the will of God. --Purple George!YossieSpring in Fialta 16:52, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
More importantly, she ran a state only a few miles from atheist Russia, but never once thought to convert them to Christianity? Veeeery suspicious. --Kels 16:54, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
She is using evolutionary racsim by hunting moose because they are a lower species. Ace McWickedcast ye the first stone 16:57, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
A Christian has a relationship with the Lord, not necessarily a Church.Francine 17:35, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
I maintain that the Palin nomination is a plan to get a Scientologist sleeper cell into the White House. DickTurpis 17:40, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
In that case I hope they put those plastic cover things over the White House furniture, you don't know where Tom Cruise's shoes have been. Francine 18:13, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
Tell it to Andy. Coarb 18:22, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
Good grief, that is a hateful article. All of the envy of Aschlafly write large: the man who had it all but whos crowning achievement in life is a failing wiki/blog, while Obama is a month away from the highest office in the US. I cannot wait until Obama is in office (touch wood) and how CP will react to that. I think that it will become such hateful piece of political propaganda that it'll drive away anyone with even a remote sense of decency. CP will either die or become a haven for parodists. Bondurant 19:13, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
I cannot wait either - not living in the USA, I usually don't care much about the presidential elections, but this time it's personal. I hope to see Andy's reaction! Etc 13:23, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
Don't tease me ^_^
Anyway, I hadn't noticed they moved all the smears to the top. What mean little smear-merchants they've become. New3.pngPink(Yuch) 19:25, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
It's hard to believe it actually got worse since my parodist attempt to make it as bad as possible. But, yeah, it'll be all parodists and the KKK, and you won't be able to tell which is which. DickTurpis 19:27, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

Not only is she not a Christian, but she's probably not even Governor of Alaska. Only one person on the planet has that title, so the probability against it being her are 7 billion to one! That's almost a statistical impossibility! DickTurpis 19:31, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

Oh, snap! I was just reading that part! ^_^ It has to be one of the most boneheaded arguments Andy's ever put forward.
My version was "the odds of someone having the name "Schlafly" are millions to one, therefore there is a good chance Andy is lying about his name". Not so logical now? New3.pngPink(*head in hands*) 19:36, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
I actually added a bit on the statistical probability of him having the degrees he claims in the Assfly article. Schlafly Statistics at its best. I can't believe this moron claims to be an expert in statistics. DickTurpis 19:47, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

Hsmom goes into labour[edit]

Hsmom appears to have started cleaning out the Augean stables by removing whole swathes of "plagiarized material". How far will she get and will it be allowed to stand? Maybe we should tell her about the pictures as well. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 19:59, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

I wonder what set her off? Did someone write an article about Joe Biden's autobiography The Audacity of Hope ? Francine 20:09, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
Isn't that Obama's? Or did I completely fail to get a joke? Kallium 20:49, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
Scored as a miss. Read up on Biden's history and you'll see why. --SpinyNorman 23:44, 4 October 2008 (EDT)
She lives in permanent, imminent, danger of the initial-last name-blockaroo anyway. Etc 13:16, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
I think that only applies when one of the goons feels like using it to newly-joined mocking liberals editors. ħumanUser talk:Human 21:21, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
And now she's going through Andy's competition pastefest articles and calling them deceitful because they are not quoted. Nice! Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 02:43, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
So she is! Good for her. Someone has to whip CP into some semblance of shape, since Andy totally lacks a clue. This user supports Hsmom as the rightful leader of Conservapedia! ħumanUser talk:Human 02:55, 6 October 2008 (EDT)

Points[edit]

For the Hard Gay reference. Y'all know who I'm aiming this at. --Kels 23:25, 4 October 2008 (EDT)

Finland[edit]

Proxies or just the duck thing? - User \approx\piFor best results always render PNG 00:28, 5 October 2008 (EDT)

I like that he considers that an "essay" and actually links the God article in the phrase "God willing". Why not link future at the end of that sentence too? Next Andy will be linking Godspeed. Kalliumtalk 01:38, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
Non sequitur, but not really: Wake someone up and tell them Andy fell asleep at the keyboard again and forgot to turn off editing by the undignified. ħumanUser talk:Human 02:47, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
I just noticed that. Andy turned it off at 23:44 then must have spilled his cocoa over the keyboard as it came back on again 20 minutes later. As for Finland, it's really sad to see how someone who spends so much time on the internet looking for ways to increase the desirability of his articles (has he tried digital pheromones yet?) hasn't grasped some basic internet memes and put as much literal interpretation on Alexa stats as he does on the Bible. Also what's all that about having relatives in a neighbouring country which is not named - could Ken be of Russian descent? Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 03:00, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
I can't create an account. - User \approx\piFor best results always render PNG 02:57, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
Maybe we should get Interiot to write a tool which monitors when new account creation is enabled as well.Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 03:02, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
Btw can somebody pop up that linky to the handy locked/unlocked page again please? --PsyGremlinWhut? 05:36, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
Ta-da! --Sid 08:32, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
Ta muchly, Sid. --PsyGremlinWhut? 09:59, 5 October 2008 (EDT)

Unfortunately Ken has protected the Finland essay. Otherwise, I think it would have been nice to change the national anthem link on it to this one. weaseLOIdWeaselly.jpg~ 08:08, 5 October 2008 (EDT)

Hardly a surprise, but the site he ganked it off of requires permission to repost images. Not that I expect Ken to respect that sort of thing. --Kels 12:35, 5 October 2008 (EDT)

This Finland thing is really, truly, superb. Really. Pure, unadulterated comedy gold. DogP 13:34, 5 October 2008 (EDT)

Aww, he took down that great pic of Darwin sitting on Hitler's shoulder. C'mon Ken, don't you think the Finns want to see that? --Kels 13:48, 5 October 2008 (EDT)

The loser has to spam both sides of the main page with his brown-nosing. Pathetic. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 15:40, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
That really is amazing. What a twerp. Even Andy doesn't do that (usually?) with his magnificent insights. ħumanUser talk:Human 18:51, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
The "Quick Links" section is hilarious. It starts off with the important administrative things people should know... and then the attention span times out, and we get Finland Fellatio and self-promotion. Way to miss the point of this section, Ken. --Sid 19:05, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
Does that mean there are a lot of proxies in Finland? --Kels 16:20, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
Nope, think there just really is a lot of us Finns using CP and RW. When CP started out it got some attention on several Finnish forums, and we can appriciate a good lulz there as any other nationalityes. Timppeli 18:00, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
There is nobody in Finland, only ducks. - User \approx\piFor best results always render PNG 20:01, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
What about clogs? Do they wear clogs in Finland? ħumanUser talk:Human 21:03, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
The ducks wear clogs. --Kels 00:03, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
Only one thing must be known of Finland, which is that Nokia own the entire country. 98.6% of the work age population are employed by Nokia, and the rest are employed serving the Nokia employees bacon sandwiches. Oh, and they almost certainly wear dead reindeer on their feet, not clogs. --JeevesMkII 21:26, 5 October 2008 (EDT)

Hey, Hitler's back on the front page! I knew you wouldn't let us down, Ken, but why hide your light under a bushel? You think the Finns are gonna scroll all the way to the bottom? You gotta give it prominence! Or do you want THE EVILUTIONISTS TO WIN? --Kels 00:03, 6 October 2008 (EDT)

What a troll. We would never tolerate such self-aggrandizement on RationalWiki! We have teh intercom for such porpoises! ħumanUser talk:Human 00:11, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
I note that the UK rates highly in CP page views. Well, there's me, and Susan, and Ghengis, and, from the other side, Fox and Bugler. That should account for it. Silver Sloth 09:02, 6 October 2008 (EDT)

FYI (Obama/Berg Suit)[edit]

The CP Main Page claims that Obama's motion to dismiss the Berg lawsuit was denied. If that were the truth, it would be huge, for two reasons: (1) the federal judge would have to completely destroy the standing doctrine to get that result and, (2) the obvious. Luckily, it's not the truth.-caius (spy) 03:36, 5 October 2008 (EDT)

It's still on the Main Page - though it was criticised not only there, but on ASchafly's own Talk Page, too. As usual with unconvenient events, the Leader of the Ignorant choose to lead by ignoring them... --LArron 03:57, 8 October 2008 (EDT)

Andy, where's my Sunday Insight?[edit]

Did I miss it? Normally, Andy comes back from church with some great insight that usually manifests as a new essay or "Liberal [noun]" style article. Since I'm technically still on wiki-vacation, I barely checked CP today, but T:WIGO is usually buzzing when Andy stuns the world with his weird statements, so I should I take the silence as a sign that he didn't have anything to share this week? =( (I'm sorta willing to accept his weird "Biden of the Know Nothing Party" homework question as a valid substitute, but only this once!) --Sid 19:01, 5 October 2008 (EDT)

Yeah, I looked for that too and was disappointed. Sid, perhaps you could add a Sunday Insight section to the Andy Schlafly arsetickle so that teh lulzes arz preversed. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 19:07, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
Perhaps it could even be its own article? Making room for large chunks of quotes, etc... ħumanUser talk:Human 19:17, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
I've toyed with that idea, but it depends on how much time I got these weeks to go through the histories. --Sid 19:41, 5 October 2008 (EDT)

"Visual Thesaurus"?[edit]

While googling for a hilarious grammar slip-up I saw on the CP main page, I stumbled over something I hadn't noticed before: Croco has worked on promoting CP on "Thinkmap Visual Thesaurus":

Conservapedia
September 22, 2008
By Dean S.

Conservapedia is a clean and concise resource for those seeking the truth. We do not allow liberal bias to deceive and distort here. Founded initially in November 2006 as a way to educate advanced, college-bound homeschoolers, this resource has grown into a marvelous source of information for students, adults and teachers alike.

The list of words on that page is interesting, even though I dunno if it was auto-generated or manually created. It seems to be a very random selection:

abortion, Adolf Hitler, advocacy, affliction, Africa, ailment, Al Gore, Albania, Alfred Nobel, apartment, Asia, aspect, astrolabe, atheism, audience, Australia, Bible, Bill Clinton, Book of Mormon, cactus, Canada, Charles Darwin, chimpanzee, Christianity, communism, conservative, crucial, Democratic Party, denigration, dinosaur, Egypt, emu, England, Europe, evolution, faith, feminism, fire drill, George W. Bush, global warming, Goat, God, Granada, happiness, heart disease, heroin, hieroglyphic, home-school, homophobia, homosexuality, Islam, Jesus Christ, Joseph Smith, kangaroo, liberal, Mediterranean Sea, Mexico, Mormon, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, painstaking, parasite, passive voice, pathology, physics, pinpoint, Plato, predicate, pudding, purity, sentence, Sinai Peninsula, soccer, sociopath, Sodom, Sri Lanka, subject, Suez Canal, Sweden, unicorn, United Kingdom, United States of America, verb, voice, Wales, wine, writing

Thoughts? --Sid 19:43, 5 October 2008 (EDT)

I LOVE visual thesaurus, and if you're a word geek, you will too. I use it every day. PFoster 19:47, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
Presume it's an autogenerated thing like this SusanG  ContribsTalk 19:50, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
It looks like an amalgam of the 100 most popular pages mixed with his Broken News/Wanted pages, plus his pet Morman interests. Weird. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 19:56, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
Oh yes, and it's good to see that GOAT makes it into that list! Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 19:57, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
EC Susan--Not really--it works like a thesaurus--you input a word and it creates a chart showing synonyms and related words, from which you can generate other groups of synonyms and related words...it's totally fun. Try it. PFoster 19:58, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
I like it! It's a bit of a pain having to delete your cookies every 5 or so though! SusanGContribsTalk 20:21, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
Awesome use of an animated spring embedder, but other than drawing pretty graphs dynamically it doesn't seem all that useful. Also, the trial is way too short. --JeevesMkII 20:28, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
1. This is really cool.
2. Since I don't want to pay, could you post the link to the "women wearing pants" essay at the bottom, PFoster? CorryI'll be in the hospital bar. 20:48, 5 October 2008 (EDT)

(unindent) Crap. I'm now addicted to Wordle. ThunderkatzHo! 21:30, 5 October 2008 (EDT)

What is best in life, Conan?[edit]

Seeing Andy produce this message in Recent Changes. And a bunch of other stuff about lamentation, but this'll do for now. --Kels 20:52, 5 October 2008 (EDT)

"What did we learn on the show today, Craig?" Dang, I thought that link was something to do with Tom ("waits for no one") Waits. Close enough, I guess. ħumanUser talk:Human 21:01, 5 October 2008 (EDT)
To crush de enemies, see dem driven before you, and to hear de lamentation of de vimmen. Yaaah! Francine 23:29, 5 October 2008 (EDT)

Falling[edit]

see the screenshot to verify CP's falling stats. SusanG  ContribsTalk 21:05, 5 October 2008 (EDT)

CP-Alexa081006KROPT.png
Wasn't the Lenski thing exactly three months ago? That would make a three-month comparison pretty usless. An analysis of the last 14 months (conveniently already uploaded here) shows that, while the overall numbers are very small, they are generally growing. (Consider also that the graph is a log scale in the y axis, so the increase is larger than it appears at first glance). JazzMan 01:41, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
Point taken, thing is: Ken refers to it in his Finnish essay - he obviously didn't look lower down the page. SusanG  ContribsTalk 08:31, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
Granted! I've already talked about his numerical analysis skills (somewhere above) ;-) JazzMan 13:08, 6 October 2008 (EDT)

RationalWiki pwns Conservapedia[edit]

What another group thinks of us. Proxima Centauri 03:57, 6 October 2008 (EDT)

He is one of us, Proxy. But thanks anyway! Oh, and thanks for the links at that random Schlafly quote thingie! ħumanUser talk:Human 04:00, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
Yeah, and he keeps spamming WIGOblogs as well! Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 08:24, 6 October 2008 (EDT)

Hey, you told me to spam WIGOBlogs!!!! And yes, I am one of you... btw, you guys are good for a solid 50 hits a day from WIGOblogs, and from WIGOCPTalk, at LEAST 250. Crazy.caius (spy) 17:32, 6 October 2008 (EDT)

I try to read everything you post, even if I don't comment. :) SirChuckBCall the FBI 17:41, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
Ditto New3.pngPink(^_^) 18:32, 6 October 2008 (EDT)

Mexico[edit]

Ah, good to see their AOTW lives up to CP standards. That opening sentence is impossibly bad. And shouldn't it be "in between"? Kwality Kontrol... we haz it. --PsyGremlinWhut? 08:09, 6 October 2008 (EDT)

Also the the third sentence - "At present Mexico's territory covers almost 2 million square kilometers" - makes it sound as if the country is physically expanding.
Andy just updated Aesop so that the first line now reads: "Aesop was an Ethiopian slave in the 600's B.C. Greece."
We haz edumacashun. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 08:16, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
On the subject of weird stuff, is the fact that cp:Special:Listusers&group=sysop is missing significant? --PsyGremlinWhut? 08:53, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
I thought that kilometers were the work of the devil and/or cheese eating surrender monkeys. Shouldn't the area be given in true 'merican square miles? Silver Sloth 08:59, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
Look @ the history, it's almost totally the work of JM so not surprising the English is a little off & that it's measured in Km. If it wasn't for his total plagiarism & inability to take constructive criticism, he'd be (one of) the best editors on cp. 10:59, 6 October 2008 (EDT)SusanG  ContribsTalk
Jinx always craves attention
Sometimes I get the feeling that Joaquín, with those unrelated pictures in each section, is trying to make an art piece out of articles. NightFlare You don't see how sometime can estimate when the truth when someone else conceals it???? Godspeed [1] 11:20, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
It's more like the random distribution of "Also see" he adds to articles that's the work of art. --PsyGremlinWhut? 12:29, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
Can we make it our AotW for fun? (Do we even have an article on Mexico? Not that we need to have one to mock CP) ħumanUser talk:Human 15:39, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
The Jinx hi Jinx! has been reading WIGO and re-wrote the Mexico intro. You would think the peanut butter licker would have at least given us some credit. Conservative deceit at work, again! (jinx linx) Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 18:36, 6 October 2008 (EDT)

Slavery is an American value....[edit]

On this point, Andy and I seem to agree (left hand side, the section about the Shakers...). Now maybe someone can quote-mine this into a CP mainspace article and watch the fun ensue? PFoster 09:49, 6 October 2008 (EDT)

Compare this [3] to this [4]. Plagiarism, anyone? --Too tired to log in 10:05, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
Too Tired--Plagiarism from the government is not plagiarism! War is peace! Hate is love. Now make some constructive edits before I ban you for not having your real name! Gods peed. PFoster 10:21, 6 October 2008 (EDT)

Professor Andy[edit]

Andy provides some insight into his teaching methods.

"How are you going to deal with grade inflation?"

"Easy, I will simply curve the grades and assign students who thought they were doing well (~95%) C's. By the way, I pray during classes, so every thing will work out fine..."

-- Antifly Now with 50% less retirement! 10:09, 6 October 2008 (EDT)

He also seems to think that theft is rampant everywhere without prayer. My wife attends UVA Law. People leave their laptops sitting around tables all over the place, with no theft. -Lardashe
Ye, I even (by accident!) left my wallet in the dining hall, and after frantically searching for it, I came back to my dorm. Two or so hours later, someone knocked at my door, and gave me back my wallet. Everything that was in it when I left it was still there =D ĴαʊΆʃÇä₰ mrh raaarrrgh gruh mragh mragh!
I leave my laptop unattended at the atheistic University of Michigan library every day. non-believing and trusting...PFoster 10:28, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
My backpack is always left unattended at Metro (That's where the teacher got in trouble for the political assingment) and the worst thing that ever happened was my buddy put little flowers on it one day.... Guess Andy screwed up his information again. Also, could it possibly be that people don't steal in your class because they're in constant contact with an authority figure? Leave some money on a table and have the kids in their one at a time, you fucking moron. SirChuckBCall the FBI 12:04, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
Long time lurker, but I had to register to discuss this (grade inflation infuriates me). I took the time to compile all of Andy's gradings, and here are the numbers I come up with: For week 1, there were 6 99s, 5 98s, 1 97, 3 96s, and 2 90s, which brought the average down to 97 for honors, and there were 3 69s, 1 68, 1 67, and 1 66 for non-honors, which averaged to 68. Week 2, a whoping 10 99s, 4 98s, 1 97, and 1 96, which averaged to 98.4375 for honors, and 4 69s, 3 68s, and 2 66s for nh, which averaged to 68.11. Finally, week three brought us 3 100s, 7 99s, 1 98, and 1 97, raising the average to 99. NH got 2 70s, 5 69s, 3 68s, 1 66, 1 65, and 1 64, averaging again to 68 (they're pretty consistent).
Also telling is how those numbers add up to much less than the 50-odd students he claims he teaches. DickTurpis 01:54, 7 October 2008 (EDT)
Given Andy's statement about a possible curve, using these numbers it's almost impossible. You can't do a bell curve properly when the most common grade is also the highest (then almost everyone gets a C, despite their 99/100 score, and a 96/100 gets an F). You can't do a traditional curve when someone gets a perfect or near perfect score. The only solution is to give everyone As, which is what it looks like will happen. His class motto should be "as fair and balanced as Fox News".Z3ro 12:06, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
(Repost: User:Marty/American History Homeworks also has Z3ro's numbers.) I think Andy's not even going to try to curve the grades, but if he were thinking about it, he probably would have something besides these homeworks on which to base his decision. If it were just these homeworks, he'd just have to fail two or three students he knew the other kids didn't like (in order to avoid a mutiny). But he presumably sees these kids in "class" every week, and "class participation" might make up a large part of the grade. The kid who sits in the back of the class and doesn't raise his hand gets a lower grade than the teacher's pet up front.
I am interested to see whether the average homework grade trends higher or lower over time; it got higher for #2 and then went back down for #3. --Marty 13:33, 6 October 2008 (EDT)

I've left my backpack unattended (with my DS in it!) at the Ob here at Algonquin before, and nobody went near it. As to Andy, I assume that he's either lying or has no idea what he means by curve. Going by what he said, he's giving the homework less value than the tests (which makes sense), but it's clear the homework won't prepare the kids for any sort of real testing, so they're gonna get blindsided. Meaning either Andy'll give them a ridiculously easy test, or inflate those grades instead. Either way, there's no benefit to the kids at all. --Kels 12:45, 6 October 2008 (EDT)

Well, I wouldn't assume money wouldn't be stolen if I left it in a classroom, but this sort of dualist approach ("in a public school all money is stolen, in a class with prayer everyone is 100% honest") is bullshit. I suspect rates of theft might be less in Andy's class than in a random classroom, but I suspect that has nothing to do with prayer and more to do with his students being a close knit group of kids who know and generally like one another. People are much more likely to steal from strangers than friends and acquaintances. DickTurpis 12:58, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
If I left a bag unattended around here, it would probably be considered a bomb threat and blown to pieces by the cops. :-( But not stolen. --AKjeldsenCum dissensie 15:47, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
What killed me was that Andy went on about stealing, which was not asked about, and ignored privacy, which was. Oh, and one things missing from the "on line" materials, at least, is the typical thing teachers tell students at the outset of a class - what their grades will be based on (ie, 10% homework, 40% tests, 50% participation). That way they know where to put their best efforts if they can't do "everything" (say, due to lack of time). It also lets them discuss "arrangements" with the teacher if they have difficulties with an important segment - like in my example, if they are painfully shy in class, they might negotiate an extra paper to make up for lack of participation. But, oh, I forgot, Andy doesn't actually know anything about teaching, does he? ħumanUser talk:Human 15:49, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
That "typical thing" is called a syllabus, which gives students an overview of the class, sets the ground rules, shows the scope of what the class will cover, notes the text and other major works required, explains how students will be graded, summarizes major assignments/exams and deadlines, etc. Apparently it doesn't exist for this class. It certainly hasn't been reviewed by the AP folks. To write a syllabus, of course, you need a plan - you can't just make it up as you go along. --Too tired to log in 08:13, 7 October 2008 (EDT)

Zero - maybe that's "conservapedia math" at its best!--Sun mowse.pngEn attendant Godot"«Poetry involves the mysteries of the irrational perceived through rational words. V.Nabokov» 16:17, 6 October 2008 (EDT)

Oh to be a sysop...[edit]

...so one can totally disregard the Commandments. SamuelHTD rightfully removes Dodgy Roger's blog self-referential reference, only to be blocked by Karajerk for inserting false information and then, because the Commandments don't apply to sysops, he restores the Sausage Muncher's drivel.

It does also answer the question about why the admin is so poor over there - if the gauleiters don't follow the rules and respect the wiki, why should the peons? --PsyGremlinWhut? 12:38, 6 October 2008 (EDT)

Rules? We'll have none of that here! I also notice he deleted Sam's user page (where he talks about abuse by sysops, how ironic) and the ban is permanent. Way to stand up for everything the Navy is supposed to oppose, Koward! --Kels 12:52, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
I thought the navy stood for flamboyant multiculturalism with a driving beat and repetitive lyrics.... SirChuckBCall the FBI 13:11, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
Like I said, the Kooky Kloset Koward supports just the opposite. --Kels 13:23, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
He just proves my point about the abuse there! I was going to edit the talk page and state the specific Commandment (#5) as to why I removed his edit, and that loser navyman just power trips, proving exactly why I made those comments on my userpage. I can't even email him to tell him I'm a retired marine of 12 yrs. - I have more medals than his brain weighs, little piece of Navy reject shit. 208.77.19.50 13:46, 6 October 2008 (EDT) (Samuel)

Evolution at CP[edit]

They are just a short Photoshop click away over at CP from having Darwin's head pasted on Adolf's body. Come on Andrew, you can do it! Jimaginator 13:32, 6 October 2008 (EDT)

This picture is the closest they've come to that yet. weaseLOIdWeaselly.jpg~ 13:40, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
I am personally saddened to see the passing of parrot!Darwin from the evo page. --Kels 13:46, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
No, it's not a parrot. You just can't see Adolf's other shoulder. It's Darwin (Devil) on one shoulder, and Andrew Q. Schlaughly (Angel) on the other. Which will whisper in his ear? Jimaginator 14:03, 6 October 2008 (EDT)

Improved!!![edit]

It's been a while since I've seen an edit summary of Andy's that just says "improved," but when he does, he never fails to disappoint. What a moron. Bondurant 16:03, 6 October 2008 (EDT)

Well, it was an issue on human sexuality and education after all. We all know that the best answer is "just say no".--Sun mowse.pngEn attendant Godot"«Poetry involves the mysteries of the irrational perceived through rational words. V.Nabokov» 16:13, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
Well, since the liberal methods of teaching s*x leads to infertility and cancer, I trust that CP will add the fact that abstinence only programs often lead to unwanted pregnancies in clueless (sic) girls, because they know nothing about how the apparatus works. Ignorance, unfortunately, is NOT bliss. Jimaginator 16:20, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
And that since sex education = "sexual safety at an appropriate age", I do hope that the Right is ready to take responsiblity when Jimmy comes home unable to tell mom that his teacher is touching him in inappropriate ways -- cause the schools took out "sex ed for elementary schools". --Sun mowse.pngEn attendant Godot"«Poetry involves the mysteries of the irrational perceived through rational words. V.Nabokov» 16:29, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
Is that an insinuation about Mr Schlafly? If so, the proper protocol is to mention gerbils as well. weaseLOIdWeaselly.jpg~ 16:32, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
Hehehe, this just occurred to me... in order to teach "abstinence", don't they also have to teach what to abstain from?! If a kid knows absolutely nothing about sex (as they would have it), how will they know they are doing something they shouldn't? ħumanUser talk:Human 16:38, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
And it's the way that he removes any discussion on the pros and cons of abstinence and distills it down to "liberals oppose it and conservatives (small "c") support it." As if that's all that counts, which in Aschlafly's limited intellect is the case. Bondurant 16:42, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
A friend of my wife's works as a principal at a high school. They have an abstinence-only curriculum. This friend had to teach their 'sex ed' class a few years ago. There were 15 girls in the class. Three of them already had babies. Three became pregnant that school year, and carried their babies to term. Another two had abortions. These kids actually believed in a lot of the common myths - that Mountain Dew is an effective contraceptive. That a girl-on-top position would also work. And that wearing two condoms at once is a good idea. The teacher isn't allowed to tell them that any of these things aren't true, because she could lose her job (and potentially cost the school some funding) - Lardashe
pregnant teen girls just reinforce what the right has always known. Girls don't need much learning. Bit about red'in, and some of dat rithmotic so they know if the grocery store clerk swindle'd them... then marry'em off and get em pregnant. ONly two kinds of women, Mary the Virgin, and Mary the slut. and you caint keep em locked up a virgin, so marry em off rite quick. --Sun mowse.pngEn attendant Godot"«Poetry involves the mysteries of the irrational perceived through rational words. V.Nabokov» 16:47, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
The big lie seems to be that by teaching contraception you don't teach kids that abstinence is more effective as far as preventing pregnancy and STD infection. Merely telling kids not to have sex, though, and not teaching them anything other than scare tactics just doesn't work. I think the story above, about Mountain Dew and other wrong ideas, is a perfect example of why abstinence-based sex ed needs to go away. It amazes me that anybody would not want to directly address ignorance and would rather just tell kids to not have sex. It's a complete denial of human nature. Teenagers have always had unmarried sex, will always have unmarried sex, and are doing it right now. If this were a stoppable force, there wouldn't be nearly as many people on this planet as there are right now. Centuries of guilt hasn't worked. Even AIDS hasn't stopped unmarried sex. So what's the harm in telling kids about condoms? CorryI'll be in the hospital bar. 17:17, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
It's even worse then condoms, parents like Andy don't think a school should require young women be immunized against cancer cause it might "encourage" young women to have sex. huh?--Sun mowse.pngEn attendant Godot"«Poetry involves the mysteries of the irrational perceived through rational words. V.Nabokov» 17:50, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
Part of the US right wing conservative ethos on abstinence only sex ed is that it should include lots of scaremongering about STDs, and use this as a way to promote abstinence (instead of condoms) as a way of avoiding them. Phyllis Schlafly quote: "It's very healthy for a young girl to be deterred from promiscuity by fear of contracting a painful, incurable disease, or cervical cancer, or sterility, or the likelihood of giving birth to a dead, blind, or brain-damage [sic] baby even ten years later when she may be happily married". weaseLOIdWeaselly.jpg~ 17:56, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
(ec) What I have always found especially hilarious isn't that Abstinence only doesn't work. But that is hasn't worked for thousand of years. All through the middle ages people had abstinence only education, and we see how well that turned out. The true fact of it is (and I think we can all agree with this) that when hormones start going and our id turns on to the pleasure that intimate physical contact can bring, we throw out information that doesn't sit well. This is why people develop gambling problems, they like the feeling that comes with winning and the adreneline(sp?) rush that comes with the unknown. To end, there was a great quote I read somewhere (wish I had saved it) that said "To all of those that preach from a holier than thou perch, can you tell me why drive in theatres were so popular in the 50's?" SirChuckBCall the FBI 17:58, 6 October 2008 (EDT) Edit after reading Weaseloid's comment: That also loops right back around to the idea that women should be popping out babies after their married.

(Unindent) Back in the good old fifties, girls who got pregnant would often be hidden in shame and forced to give up the baby for adoption. I haven't read it, but my wife says that "The Girls Who Went Away" by Ann Fessler is a very good discussion of this subject. And about the fifties- I automatically distrust anybody who thinks that the fifties were doubleplus good. When people get nostalgic for "simpler times" I think about black people having to use separate bathrooms and the nation shitting itself over Sputnik. Yeah. Sounds great! CorryI'll be in the hospital bar. 18:08, 6 October 2008 (EDT)

Also, there were giants on the Earth in those days. Andre, I believe his name was. --JeevesMkII 18:19, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
Well, Andre the Giant was awesome. CorryI'll be in the hospital bar. 18:34, 6 October 2008 (EDT)

I am very much for comprehensive sex education, because I believe that knowledge and education matter. I tend to feel stongly that education is the force that drives the social progress of our species. I think that we should be chastising Andy for wanting to ignore the issue and keep it from the nation's children. However, it seems that sex education is largely ineffective. A recent study shows that all current sex ed programs deliver the approximaely the same results in terms of awareness, pregnancy rates, STD rates and chastity rates. It's possible that we have not hit on the "right" education program yet, but it is also possible that we are all idealists who are unduely biased towards education.-- Antifly Now with 50% less retirement! 19:01, 6 October 2008 (EDT)

Back in the good ole 50s I first had sex (with a boy) on a kitchen floor in a friend's house, while my friend was doing likewise in the lounge. - just tellin' ya - that's all. (I was 13) SusanG  ContribsTalk 19:12, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
13 year olds having sex on the kitchen floor? I sure hope Ed isn't reading this. DickTurpis 19:38, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
(He was 16, I think - we're still in touch occasionally) SusanG  ContribsTalk 19:43, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
Who's arse did you neglect kissing to get the kitchen, officially the least sexy room in the house by an order of magnitude? I can only hope it was lino and not tiles. --JeevesMkII 19:46, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
Rugs on stone flags - 400 year old cottage since demolished & replaced with hideous Barrat(sp?) style mock georgian things. SusanG  ContribsTalk 19:55, 6 October 2008 (EDT)
Jeeves, haven't you seen The Postman Always Rings Twice?
Susan, did you use any of the contraceptive measures of the time, e.g. going on top or standing up immediately afterwards?
Bondurant: Why are you asking for details?
Bondurant 08:51, 7 October 2008 (EDT)
Just show the after effects of STDs on sexual organs... that worked for me. Abstinence FTWuh! Keklik 09:08, 7 October 2008 (EDT)
Nah, condoms FTW! You get to have sex, have fun, not have a baby and stay safe. Bondurant 11:31, 7 October 2008 (EDT)
I'm abstinent from liquor and drugs. Sex is teh awesome (gotta make up for the lack of boozing somehow). --Purple George!YossieSpring in Fialta 00:29, 8 October 2008 (EDT)