Conservapedia talk:What is going on at CP?/Archive297

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Contents

Another twist[edit]

Not content with allowing two Gold medal winning teenage girls to be recognized for their accomplishment, Andy makes sure the small number of people who pay attention to him know that public schoolers Kyla Ross and Jordyn Wieber won because of homeschooling.img Idiot. Hiphopopotamus (talk) 00:20, 6 August 2012 (UTC)

I don't often headdesk when reading Andy's work, but when I saw that I got a terrible knot on my forehead. Aboriginal Noise with 4 M's and a silent Q 11:03, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
Andy's also been pretty quiet about Aly Raisman, who has 2 individual golds and a bronze to her name. Could it be because she attends a public school. Or because she's Jewish? --PsyGremlinHable! 11:11, 8 August 2012 (UTC)

Conservapedia proven wrong yet again[edit]

As soon as the dressage finishes, Britain will have their best haul of golds for a century. Someone should go add this to Conservapedia proven wrong, just so we can see Andy's spin for getting out of his bullshit. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 15:46, 7 August 2012 (UTC)

Joke/elitist sports, they didn't win every event, God showing his sense of humor... Vulpius (talk) 16:07, 7 August 2012 (UTC)
Given how the atheistic GB are gobbling up golds at the moment - just won another, Andy is either going to write their medals off as being in obscure, elitist, joke sports like rowing, cycling, show jumping, etc, or he's just going to walk away from the whole thing and ignore it. Karajou is there to prevent any reality entering the article. --PsyGremlin말하십시오 16:32, 7 August 2012 (UTC)
I wonder if he'll call dressage an elitist sport. Doesn't Romney's wife have a horse in that event, or something? Dressage is a pretty elitist sport though. It's also boring as hell. X Stickman (talk) 17:49, 7 August 2012 (UTC)
The horseys do tend to be the only event where an appreciable number of the competitors are royalty. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 17:52, 7 August 2012 (UTC)
Dressage is much, much less boring if you are an equestrian and can distinguish what exactly the horses are doing vs the cues the riders are giving; then it turns into "How the hell are you making that half-ton beast dance around without any visible cues at all; are you telekinetic?!" But I concur: sports that you don't have any knowledge of or insight into are often not as interesting as the sports you do know about. I myself can't stand watching football and baseball; it all looks the same to me. But I won't deny that dressage, at least at THAT level is incredibly elitist. At that level, you get judged on appearance almost as much as horsemanship... which means you need to have that $12,000 saddle to look sharp. I have done dressage training on the 'I am riding a retired horse on the farm, watch me go around and around this ring on this animal that barely tolerates me' level and it's much less elitist: requiring only access to the horse itself, which is done by plenty of middle class families who live near a barn (they rent time). You don't even need equipment to learn how save a 30 buck helmet and good shoes... but that's the definite unglamorous side of flat riding and not the kind that is represented in competition or has a place in the larger culture. Not to mention Olympic dressage horses are ridiculously gorgeous. They make the hoofed lumps I rode on the farm look like walking meatloafs.±Knightoftldrsig.pngKnightOfTL;DRmore at 11 17:58, 7 August 2012 (UTC)
Rafalca Romney failed to place, and Mittens didn't even attend the event. -- Seth Peck (talk) 18:17, 7 August 2012 (UTC)
Owning a good horse is an expensive business but having access to the country can often get you into the system if you're prepared to muck out a bit. If you show talent and desire you can still make progress. Even the GB Olympic dressage riders don't all ride their own horses - just like horseracing jockeys, ocean-racing sailors and F1 drivers who are dependent on a rich owner or sponsor. I wonder what conservative, Christian, all-American sports Andy would endorse - Bible thumping, flag waving, marathon praying, blind-eye turning, tax avoiding, synchronised Tebowing and the women-only cookie baking? Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science.Moderator 18:43, 7 August 2012 (UTC)
Billiards—practiced in blue-collar sports bars and taverns across the country. Or, to paraphrase Chris Rock, that white ball pushing around all the colored balls. -- Seth Peck (talk) 18:57, 7 August 2012 (UTC)
Re: Romney not at the olympics and dressage - didn't you hear? He was banned from attending the olympics after they found out he tied his horse to the top of the jet to fly out to London. --Shagie (talk) 03:48, 8 August 2012 (UTC)

Only slightly related[edit]

This came up in my Google search when researching Rafalca. -- Seth Peck (talk) 18:20, 7 August 2012 (UTC)

This is doubly baffling because it is impossible to go ten blocks in some areas of Boston without encountering a Dunkin' Donuts, which originated in this state. I know he didn't have to fraternize with the plebs from his mansion in Belmont, but still. He was governor of the place for a while. You kind of have to notice.±Knightoftldrsig.pngKnightOfTL;DRgoing galt: the literal crazy train 18:36, 7 August 2012 (UTC)
In the middle stage of my father's terminal dementia, he forgot ordinary words like "shoes." He kept enough of his social skills and surrounding vocabulary that it wasn't glaringly obvious until a few years later. Just saying... Sprocket J Cogswell (talk) 19:10, 7 August 2012 (UTC)

Even less related[edit]

Have you noticed that the horses the British team are riding all sound like second rate metal band names? "Opposition Buzz" "High Kingdom" "Miners Frolic" "Hello Sanctos" "Vindicat" "Big Star" and the especially egregious "Tripple X" (sic.) If I were one of them, I'd rather be sent to the glue factory than be seen prancing around a ring with names like those. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 00:05, 8 August 2012 (UTC)

If I ever own a horse (especially a thoroughbred with Triple Crown potential) I fully intend to name him "Me Pet Orse Eric." MDB (the MD is for Maryland, the B is for Bear) 11:28, 8 August 2012 (UTC)

Hell freezes over[edit]

Andy: "Britain has done remarkably well in the past week, and some of its gold medals (e.g., Andy Murray in tennis) were nothing short of spectacular. Conservatives accept the real facts, even when (in this case) it is contrary to American bravado."img

I'm speechless.... --Night Jaguar (talk) 02:08, 8 August 2012 (UTC)

Where is Andy and what have you done to him? Vulpius (talk) 02:57, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
Maybe he's trying the opposite? --Night Jaguar (talk) 03:51, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
It weirds me out how he adds on that thing at the end to a lot of things he says. "Conservatives accept the real facts..." here, other places it's "conservatives keep an open mind..." and so on. It's almost like a mantra that he's repeating to himself, trying to hardcode in these new facts he's being forced to admit. What kind of person has to bring in their entire political identity when forced to admit a mistake? What kind of person does that in any situation? I've never, for example, ordered a coffee and added "Atheists take sugar as they please, in this case one sugar" at the end, because that is what a crazy person does.
Re-reading what I just wrote, I'm having a hard time conveying my exact thoughts on this. This particular habit of his triggers a flashing "That's really weird" light in my head and I can't quite write out why. X Stickman (talk) 03:53, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
I understand what you're trying to say. I think he's tried to work out his mental gymnastics, but when Gabby Douglas began to falter he lost all hope and just gave up. This is his way of saying, "I can't spin this, no matter how hard I've tried. So while I do it with a great deal of underlying anger, I'll just accept it and claim that as a conservative trait. Excuse me while I go punch my dog in her uterus." Hiphopopotamus (talk) 04:49, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
Basically Andy has just cut his losses. Rather than get involved in humiliating exchanges he has eliminated that line of attack and anyone who mentions "GB underperformance" will be banninated as a troublemaker by Karajerk. Of course, just like when the arguments of creationists get totally pwned they will ignore that one and carry on regardless, so Andy will still make political capital against liberals and public schoolers.  Lily Inspirate me. 07:07, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
Amazingly though, Andy just can't admit that he made a mistake. It's not that he was wrong, it's that "Conservatives accept the real facts"... which will probably become a Conservapedia insight in 3... 2... Of course, will the article be updated accordingly? --PsyGremlinPraat! 08:44, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
If "conservatives accept the real facts" that should mean that Andy should never have a problem admitting to being wrong ever again. Some how I doubt he'll exhibit that particular conservative trait very often.--Spud (talk) 11:38, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
Despite the below addendum, I have clawed back a minute speck of respect for Andy now. And when I say minute, I mean it's smaller and more brief in existence than the Higgs, but that's still better than before. --جئت ورأيت أنا القرف gross, isn't it? 15:49, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
You didn't gain a speck of respect for Andy, this is just one of the rare times where he takes a stand and you don't immediately hate him more. Not hating him more feels similar, but it's an important distinction. Hiphopopotamus (talk) 16:46, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
...That is a much better description. Now get out of my head before I blow it off. --جئت ورأيت أنا القرف gross, isn't it? 18:59, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
I just love how Andy accepting reality, even if just for a second, is cause for comment. --Night Jaguar (talk) 17:51, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
As a child I took an instant liking to any person or character with the same name as me. I can't help but wonder if that's been a factor in Andy's love for Mr Murray. Grumblejaws (talk) 09:55, 9 August 2012 (UTC)

No, he's still a jerk[edit]

Thanks, Andy. Theory of Practice "Trampoline" is an Olympic sport now? 12:02, 8 August 2012 (UTC)

Buying time to find the spin I see. --Revolverman (talk) 12:06, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
Because as we all know, clamping down on a neo-Nazi fuckwit has a direct influence on your team's medal performance. Maybe somebody should point out to Andy that she supports a neo-Nazi, like the guy in the recent shooting. --PsyGremlinHable! 12:17, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
Assuming that he doesn't really have neo-Nazi tendencies or share the opinions that all Africans shold bugger off out of Greece and all South Koreans are stupid, Andy's sudden switch from bashing atheistic Britain to "politically correct" Switzerland and Greece doesn't make him so much of a jerk, more of a pratt.--Spud (talk) 12:28, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
Don't know if PsyGremlin knows the connection, but the neo-Nazi party the Olympian bitch (but damn she's hot =\) was forwarding tweets to, is the same party the Sikh temple shooter was involved with, the Golden Dawn. Please, Andy, don't stop that spinning! AndyToad.gifNorsemanCyser Melomel 13:27, 8 August 2012 (UTC)

The arse carefully omits the Great from Great Britain, the wee shite. Sphincter (talk) 14:31, 8 August 2012 (UTC)

Peyton Manning[edit]

Just noticed that while Peyton Manning is officially an Overrated Sports Star©, he's also officially an American Hero. Too much to ask for consistency, I suppose... The Real James Brown (talk) 22:45, 7 August 2012 (UTC)

He replaced Tebow, so of course he's overrated. Plus, he came from that ultraliberal, RINO state of Indiana. -- Seth Peck (talk) 22:55, 7 August 2012 (UTC)
Manning is actually from Louisianna and went to college inTennessee. Pi 3:14 (talk) 23:28, 7 August 2012 (UTC)
Wow, I hadn't seen that in a long time.... When did the parodists take control of that? Muhammad Ali is an American Hero? I mean, I agree 100%, but since when has anything Ali done ever fit in with the CP definition of Hero? SirChuckBThis country needs more Rutabegas 08:08, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
He's widely regarded as one of the best boxers (a macho sport) in history, therefore he's conservative. His career is too set in stone to try and spin it as "underachievement" or anything like that, so they'll just have to ignore his conversion to islam and refusal to fight in vietnam. X Stickman (talk) 21:10, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
Hey, refusing to fight in Vietnam is totally a conservative value. — Unsigned, by: ORavenhurst / talkDo You Believe That? 13:21, 9 August 2012 (UTC)
Yeah, the list of prominent conservatives who dodged is pretty crazy. Here's a more general list of chickenhawks, for those interested. Q0 (talk) 21:52, 9 August 2012 (UTC)
Oh, that's amazing. A complete roll-call of stinking neo-conservative hypocrites: Richard Perle, John Bolton, William Kristol, Cock Cheney... and too many more of the disgusting creeps to list here. Read it and squirm: these people ran the most powerful country in the world, sent other people's children to die in foreign wars and lack any kind of backbone of their own. The Real James Brown (talk) 22:38, 9 August 2012 (UTC)

One small ray of light[edit]

in the darkness following the Sikh shooting, is watching Karajou completely fail to grasp the concept of neo-Nazi:

Kara: "Inaccurate" to say he was a Nazi, when you call him a "neo-Nazi"? If the jackboot fits... Karajou 23:16, 6 August 2012 (EDT)
User: There are important differences between a Nazi and a neo-Nazi. If a Nazi were to shoot people this week in Wisconsin, he would probably be an 80 or 90 year old man who had been hiding in Argentina. A neo-Nazi is someone who wasn't a member of the German group during World War II.
Kara: And you're still trying to make out a difference between the two, as if one is better than the other. This thug murdered innocent people in cold blood, just like his "heroes" in Germany did before and during World War II; this thug read the same material; preached the same philosophy; spouted the same garbage; hated the same non-white people; and stood posing in front of the same flag. There's no difference here, kids, and it's high time that you learn it.

--PsyGremlinSnakk! 12:22, 8 August 2012 (UTC)

I guess he doesn't realize the Nazis were a political party, not Some Evil Bogeymen. People really can't be literal Nazis now because the party doesn't exist anymore; Germany is now absolutely terrified of being associated with what happened in the past. To the point of public buildings being long-renamed all over the country. ±Knightoftldrsig.pngKnightOfTL;DRgoing galt: the literal crazy train 12:42, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
He just doesn't want to admit he's wrong. Could have just easily said "oh, my mistake. Yeah, fixed." but now he paints himself dumber than a fifth grader. AndyToad.gifNorsemanCyser Melomel 13:30, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
Now, now, don't be too hard on the poor Swabbie; he probably lost plenty of brain cells breathing fumes from the engines he worked on there in the motor pool, while hearing tales of daring-do from his MP buddies. C®ackeЯ 15:15, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
To be perfectly fair, he undid his unsupportable 90/10 (You pissed me off!) block. Phiwum (talk) 15:21, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
A lot of crazy fundies treat Nazis not like a historical political party but some unrelated Force of Darkness or Evil Organization, not unlike COBRA from G.I. Joe or HYDRA from the Marvel Universe(s). I guess that's what general disdain/ignorance of history and context does: make actual, specific events and individuals seem more mythical and general than they really were. ±Knightoftldrsig.pngKnightOfTL;DRlongissimus non legeri 15:23, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
Pedantic Geekery: Hydra does have ties to the Nazis; they were founded by former Nazi commando Baron Strucker, with support from the Red Skull. And... from memory... "Hail Hydra! Immortal Hydra! We will never be destroyed! Cut off a limb, and two more shall take its place! We serve the master, as the world shall soon serve us!" MDB (the MD is for Maryland, the B is for Bear) 15:44, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
Well yes, it was made up in the Golden Age when superheroes were deployed out to fight those durn krauts, except real Nazis didn't have giant tentacle robots and stuff. They sometimes had an unhealthy interest in the occult, though.±Knightoftldrsig.pngKnightOfTL;DRmore at 11 16:04, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
It gets better, poorly summarized by me:
User: There's a difference in describing Wade as a Nazi or neo-Nazi
Karajou: I can't tell the difference
User: This is the difference between the two
Karajou: I'll make a strawman and call everyone "kids" instead of understanding the point
User: You still don't get it (Karajou blocks Esseph for calling him a kid as well, later unblocks without admitting abuse, only hinting at "excessive")
User: Karajou's strawman is a failure at derailing his misunderstanding
Karajou: Nuh-uh! Stop turning my strawman back against me! You're trolling!
It's such a damned minor thing, yet Karajou had to go so far out there and blow it out of proportion. That discussion definitely gets a thumbs up from me. AndyToad.gifNorsemanCyser Melomel 17:22, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
Karajou is the epitome of a dog in the manger. I don't believe that he has any joy in his life. What a sad fucker. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science.Moderator 20:32, 8 August 2012 (UTC)

I think Karajou has just gotten so used to calling everyone he has a problem with Nazis (and getting called out for being an idiot) that his default response to "But he's not a Nazi..." is "Yeah huh!", whether it's a Neo-Nazi, or a girlscout who is out of Tag Alongs. Carlaugust (talk) 20:43, 8 August 2012 (UTC)

A giant racist/anti-immigrant blast from User: Conservative.[edit]

Classy. Theory of Practice "Trampoline" is an Olympic sport now? 21:57, 8 August 2012 (UTC)

At least the essay in question doesn't list Stephen Hawking among "atheists who have had jumping challenges". Karajou probably couldn't have shown such restraint. Vulpius (talk) 22:04, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
Yes, because, you know, no Muslims ever play basketball. -- Seth Peck (talk) 22:14, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
Obviously a conservative christian who had to hide behind some other monicker to be accepted in the liberal basketball institution. --Mikal Harass Follow 22:48, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
Jesus fuck he did the "their/there" typo. Of all typos, that one bothers me the most. X Stickman (talk) 22:56, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
In which microphone do I have to scream to make it clear to Americans of all ages, religions and political camps that Europe is not getting taken over by Islam? Also Ken Arab!=Muslim and Muslim!=Arab, that annoys me more than any typo possible. --K. (talk) 23:52, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
Looks like someone's been reading too much Mark Steyn. Nebuchadnezzar (talk) 00:10, 9 August 2012 (UTC)
Usually, it's that microphone over there to the right. To be fair though, our news coverage here loves to tell the most dramatic story possible, and "Muslims are taking over the world" equals ratings, so I can somewhat forgive people for not knowing that. However, I have a harder time forgiving people who have no desire to see other countries. Sure not everyone can afford to do it, but there are far too many Americans without any urge to. But, we're not all xenophobic rubes who think the extent of cultural differences ends with "Urban" and "Real America." Hiphopopotamus (talk) 00:22, 9 August 2012 (UTC)
Europe not being taken over by Muslims? Nonsense! Next you're going to try to say Sweden's social safety net isn't going fall apart any minute, or that Canadians don't die waiting to see doctors! Q0 (talk) 00:56, 9 August 2012 (UTC)
How dare you! Are you trying to tell me that a healthcare bill that helps PRIVATE insurance companies isn't a GOVERNMENT takeover? Well, you're a communist/socialist. Since they're interchangeable and exactly the same thing. Hiphopopotamus (talk) 01:30, 9 August 2012 (UTC)

The one thing that stood out for me in Ken's latest "atheists are fat" piece of crap was that he talked about "scrawny atheist kids'. Does that mean that he'll now start writing dozens of "essays" about how atheists are too skinny?--Spud (talk) 10:48, 9 August 2012 (UTC)

What I really like is that Conservative is deeply wedded to a form of social Darwinism. How do you know atheists are wrong? They're losing to fast-reproducing Muslims and Christians. And Christians are good at spreading their beliefs, while atheists aren't! Another win for Christians!
Don't get me wrong. Social Darwinism is not the biological theory of evolution nor really tied to Darwin at all. Nonetheless, Conservative's cute fascination with social Darwinism is funny as all get out. Phiwum (talk) 18:19, 9 August 2012 (UTC)

Is Capturebot no longer a thing?[edit]

What's up with that? Theory of Practice "Trampoline" is an Olympic sport now? 21:59, 8 August 2012 (UTC)

Broken since the update. -- Nx / talk 09:04, 9 August 2012 (UTC)

Dave[edit]

I know atheism is about to be butt-fucked by a wave of blueberry cow trains or whatever, but Kendoll throwing down the gauntlet to "Dave" is one of his funniest challenges. It just goes to show he truly believes a random blog that barely anyone reads is going to change the world (no offense to Dave). Plus, how does he know that "Dave" isn't a group of people? He/they could be a large collective planning on writing a 50 page booklet sometime between now and never. Hiphopopotamus (talk) 23:12, 8 August 2012 (UTC)

It's not even him offering the challenge, since he's an international man of mystery unable to leave the basement for fear of martyrdom, he's offering to have shockofgoat "debate" by which he means scream about proof and evidence and ignore everything actually said. He's really quite painfully pathetic. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 23:34, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
2001 makes this creepy. --K. (talk) 23:58, 8 August 2012 (UTC)
Obligatory
Hello dave.jpg--PsyGremlinFale! 08:40, 9 August 2012 (UTC)
Blimey! Ken's suddenly lowered his standards (or lowered them on behalf of Shockofgod). Not long ago he was insisting on only debating famous atheists like Richard Dawkins or Penn Jillette and would accept no non-celebrity substitutes. Now he's just challenging some geezer named Dave. What a come down!--Spud (talk) 10:54, 9 August 2012 (UTC)
And even that "debate" will never happen, because Shock isn't actually going to allow any conversation to take place where he can't block his challenger the moment an awkward question gets asked. Why Ken thinks anyone would accept a debate in a forum controlled by one of the participants and his pack of demented, sycophantic lackeys is beyond me. — Unsigned, by: Fergus Mason / talk / contribs

Virgin fundy Christian thrashed by "un-religious" Australian[edit]

Will Andy spin this or just ignore it completely...?

VOXHUMANA 00:42, 9 August 2012 (UTC)

It's kind of funny actually. Most Australians are like her; either outright "no religion" (28%-ish, according to the census, which includes our current PM), and while we have 61% Christians, only 7% regularly go to church. She's probably in the 54%, nominally Christian but nowhere near serious about it and effectively living secular lives, quietly embarrassed by their fundie cousins. Also, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMgmYutL9W0. --Sasayaki (talk) 01:08, 9 August 2012 (UTC)
This one has to be beyond spin, right? Their only hope would be to say Lolo is a fake or something. Q0 (talk) 01:13, 9 August 2012 (UTC)
Spin? What spin? Lolo is a victim of the apparently violent persecution of Christians by un-American Americans. Hiphopopotamus (talk) 01:43, 9 August 2012 (UTC)
Oh the vanity of being hand-picked by God over everyone else in the world. Steven Kavanagh (talk) 06:15, 9 August 2012 (UTC)
I rather enjoyed hearing that Andy's favourite swimmer, Grill Boy, doesn't have time for a girlfriend, so makes do with one-night-stands instead. Good conservative value there. --PsyGremlinParla! 08:37, 9 August 2012 (UTC)

Andy missed the attacks on her motives for appearing nude in 2009. I can see the obvious Christian message in the photo but the lamestream media called it marketing, and that was three years ago. Whoover (talk) 15:37, 9 August 2012 (UTC)

I don't get all the hype over Lolo - looking at her record, she's done nothing outside of a few indoors titles. Her personal best is 4 years old, looking at her qualifying for the 110m hurdles, her times were awful.
I get the impression she's another Tebow - a very average athlete, more famous for praying than for their sport. --PsyGremlin講話 15:53, 9 August 2012 (UTC)
Nice arse though.--Fergus Mason Thruppence I got for selling my coat, tuppence for selling my blanket. If ever I 'list for a soldier again, the Devil shall be my Sergeant. 16:12, 9 August 2012 (UTC)
I'd hit it. She's substantially better than Tebow - she's the third best American professional female hurdler, and before she fucked it up, she was going to win gold in 2008 - if there were hurdling quarterbacks, she'd be the female Peyton Manning. Hipocrite (talk) 16:31, 9 August 2012 (UTC)

Troll request[edit]

Could someone ask pope andy about the Catholic church morally justifying condoms? Occasionaluse (talk) 19:23, 9 August 2012 (UTC)

More major media coverage for CP[edit]

Andy will be delighted, getting a write-up in Australia's leading paper. CP in the Sydney Morning Herald. VOXHUMANA 21:39, 9 August 2012 (UTC)

Slow news day? Or maybe their AP feed was broken? --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 22:14, 9 August 2012 (UTC)

Joke Sports[edit]

Things are not going well for Andy on the Olympic front. Now with all his predictions about how all the European nations, tainted by the Curse of Atheism and gay rights, would fail at the Olympics, especially "atheistic EnglandBritain, are falling through in a golden shower of metals, he has to find some way to invalidate some of those said metals so he can still save face and crow in the end about how all the Western nations (excluding the US) under-performed due to their secular, gay cultures. But how to do that, how to do that... Oh, arbitrary declareimg some of the Olympic sports as "joke sportsimg" using no criteria other than Andy's own desperation born of his need to show that once again he is always right! Brilliant! That will show those limp-wristed limeysimg!--BMcP - Just an astronomy guy 00:29, 10 August 2012 (UTC)

Ugh. I know I shouldn't be surprised, but even after all these years Andy finds new ways to revolt me. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 00:44, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
I like his reasoning about swimming relays. Running relays are totally legit, because they have a baton. Swimming relays have no baton, and hence are jokes. At least he has criteria! Phiwum (talk) 00:59, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
Gah, seriously, how is women's boxing any different from men's boxing? Does he think they stand there and hit each other with handbags or some shit? --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 01:05, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
(EC) Women's boxing is a joke because, in the real world, girls don't hit each other. Women's fencing, on the other hand, is A-Ok! Because, you know, chicks are always getting into rapier fights. Phiwum (talk) 01:09, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
Women's judo too presumably, because EVERYBODY was kung-fu fighting back when Andy was growing up. Those cats were fast as lightning. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 01:12, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
He went so far as to remove women's fencing from the list, while defending the inclusion of women's boxing. No one has asked him about judo yet. Phiwum (talk) 01:15, 10 August 2012 (UTC)

Hey, Andy. Do you realise how transparent your petty butthurt is? Your opportunity to deride atheistic, underachieving Britain was denied by our athletes putting in their best performance since the modern Olympiad was really an international affair and this is your way of revenging yourself by claiming that their medals don't really count. You really are a pathetic little man, you can't seem to feel pleasure except at someone else's misfortune. Couldn't you try to be happy for people like Phelps or the British dressage team who trained hard and put in a winning performance when it counted? It doesn't seem too hard to me. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 01:36, 10 August 2012 (UTC)

Jeeves, for the kung-fu reference, I want to kiss you on the mouth.
Also, someone should talk Andy into adding slutty hurdling to joke sports. That would leave Lolo Jones as the winner of the -real- event, virgin hurdling. Carlaugust (talk) 01:48, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
Hey Andy, go Three rounds with a Female wrestling world champion. --Revolverman (talk) 02:22, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
Men's boxing is ok because men have fist-fights in the streets of the town Andy grew uup in? Wow. Someone should persuade him that women shouldn't be shootin' as it ain't ladylike. That would cause more doublethink. Sphincter (talk) 02:24, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
My grandfather has been a big boxing fan for as long as I can remember, so I used to watch a lot of boxing with him when I was a kid. The annoying thing about women's boxing is that when it first really started to get televised/publicised, it really was a joke sport. While I wouldn't have wanted to get into the ring with any of those women (because I am a gigantic wuss, if nothing else), compared to male boxing it was uncoordinated, boring, and mostly just a novelty and was advertised as such.
Of course, the main reason it was like that was because none of the fight promoters of the day would give it any serious funding, attention or promotion. Nowadays, though, it's a much more mainstream event; while not on par with male boxing yet (not in terms of skill, but in terms of mainstream exposure), it's no longer "COME LOOK AT THE WOMEN TRYING TO FIGHT LIKE A MAN DOES" and far more "COME WATCH SOME TALENTED BOXERS BOX".
I really doubt Andy is going down this train of thought, though, and I very much doubt he watched the finals that were on last night because they were really good. X Stickman (talk) 03:13, 10 August 2012 (UTC)


Without checking, I'm guessing that everything Andy mentions the US has been completely shit in, right? Why aren't the socks bringing up the obvious question, none of these events were sudden additions, so why was his original predictions so far fucking off? Or would he like to admit he was talking out of his arse without doing the basic research of what actually happens at the games? And would someone like to tell me why wrestling, Judo, boxing and fencing (which based on my own experience of doing it, unlike Andy, is actually faster than the men's competition) are the combat sports are in the 'joke sports' section and TKD isn't? Or is he just professing his own fucking ignorance again? I know Olympic TKD is fucking tag, but it's still as unladylike as Olympic boxing. -- Iscariot Andy Schlafly for Congress 2012! 03:18, 10 August 2012 (UTC)

..and there is nothing bogus about rifle competitions - I could see that one coming a mile off. Unlike those silly swimming relays which M. Fred Phelps used to boost to his pitiful medal haul into something overrated. Redchuck.gif ГенгисIs the Pope a Catholic?Moderator 05:57, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
I wonder if he's aware of the existence and popularity of eSports. That would certainly set him off. Also: where's golf? Q0 (talk) 06:06, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
I see Badminton is right up there. Would that be the athiest homosexual sport where people hit feather decorated "cocks" back and forth - and in which it just so happens the US hasn't won a single medal, whilst China has wiped the floor with everyone else? Oh, Andy pandy dear, you fail at failing --TheEgyptiansig001.png 07:51, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
Or the fact it was part of the biggest, non-drug related olympic scandal in a LONG time. --Revolverman (talk) 08:04, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
It would appear as if Andy is once again toying with Danth's Law, or at least a variation thereof. --PsyGremlinZungumza! 09:17, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
By focussing on Joke Sports, Andy reveals himself to be both a Philistine and an ignoramus. The modern Olympic movement was never just about running, jumping and throwing; there was always a cultural and artistic aspect as well; which is why there was painting, music and poetry in previous games. Pierre de Coubertin himself won a Gold Medal for Literature in 1912 for his poem Ode to Sport. The intention of the games was to try and promote international harmony not the base jingoistic rivalry of Schlafly and his loathsome ilk. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science.Moderator 09:19, 10 August 2012 (UTC)

It needs to be done[edit]

As clearly the Olympics have become liberally biased and anti-Christian, so what we need ourselves are The Conservative Christian Olympics. Disciplines will be:

  • American Football - God's only legitimate way of playing with balls
  • Marathon praying - praying until athletes collapse
  • Marathon living-in-a-fish - How long will they survive in a big fish?
  • Burglar shooting - Who's best at shooting burglars "entering their houses"?
  • Empathynoshow - how many poor people can you wave off until you give some of your money away
  • Romneyistic - Firing people
  • Debating Fox News Style - How fast can your team turn of the other persons mic off if they say something you can't "refute"
  • Debating Fundamentalist Style - Who can ignore reason the longest?
  • Debating Conservapedia Style - Who spins the hardest?
  • Geography 101 - Naming foreign countries
  • Natural Order Restoring - How fast can one take women's rights away?
  • Heathen Punishing - Beating up gay people. Success meassured by number of broken bones. *This event will be helt on open sea with Ugandan gays.
  • Sinner Hunting - Telling apart sinners from good Christians, solely based on looks.
  • Competitive eating of Chick-fil-a
  • God's love - Five jump from a building only one is loved the most by God and saved.
  • (add more) --K. (talk) 07:22, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
No 100m Tebowing? American hating Liberal. --Revolverman (talk) 07:24, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
Mental Gymnastics - User your Superior Conservative Intellect to bend any fact to your worldview while getting as many bonus points as possible for being inconsistent, hypocritical and egocentric. --GTac (talk) 08:51, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
I already suggested some conservative Christian sports above, including synchronised Tebowing. Redchuck.gif ГенгисRationalWiki GOLD memberModerator 09:03, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
  • Beach Volleybawl - Womens' event. Ladies compete to kick sand in the face of Richard Dawkins and see who can make him cry the longest. Entrants must be of Hispanic extract. Grumblejaws (talk) 09:08, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
You guys can have all my internets for this. --PsyGremlinZungumza! 09:17, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
  • Tract Cycling - Marathon event in which competitors race circuits around public amenities depositing Jack Chick comics, replacing those that are defaced or thrown in a bin.
  • Naked Roman-Greco Wrestling - Prominent televangelists strip to their birthday suits,are smeared with virgin olive oil by young man-servants and grapple to prove who is God's manliest mouthpiece
  • Sean Penntatholon - Reflex-based event. Competitors change the channel every time a Sean Penn movie comes on. Controversial sport, as many liberals happily compete as well.
  • Steeple Chase - Competitors must actually turn up for church once in a while.
I'm all punned-out for now. Grumblejaws (talk) 09:34, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
Pole vaulting with real Catholic Poles. Hell, you could even make it a relay event.
Pregnant womens rifle shooting to emphasise pro-life.
Mens 100 mitres for the country with the most bishops.
Steven Kavanagh (talk) 14:01, 10 August 2012 (UTC)

The Two-Meteres Dash. Theory of Practice "Trampoline" is an Olympic sport now? 14:07, 10 August 2012 (UTC)

  • 100-Sentence Hurdles Competitors write an essay on a controversial subject (evolution, global warming), and each accurate and verifiable fact deducts a point from your final score. Danoso (talk) 16:53, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
You realize if they ever allow American football, the American team would be made up of the best of the NFL, which would exclude Tebow. Andy would just view the competition as a liberal conspiracy then.--BMcP - Just an astronomy guy 17:57, 10 August 2012 (UTC)

So who benefits?[edit]

Let's see who padded their gold medal count by taking part in all these joke sports:

  • Badminton = China (5 golds)
  • Beach Volleyball = USA & Germany 1 each
  • BMX =
  • Dressage = Team GB x 2
  • Rhythmic gym =
  • Synch swimming = Russia 1
  • Swim Relays = USA x 4, Aus & Fra 1 each
  • Backstroke = USA x 4 (including Missy Franklin's medals)
  • Table Tennis = China x 4
  • Taekwondo =
  • Woman's Boxing = Team GB, IRE & USA - 1 each
  • Woman's wrestling = Japan x 3, Russia x 1

So Team GB earn a total of 3 golds in joke sports, compared to the USA earning 10.

Once again Andy fails spectacularly. --PsyGremlin講話 10:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)

I don't even know what he's going for with this. I'm not sure he does, either. It looks like another case of him just blogging ("I don't like these sports") and trying to dress it up as some encyclopaedic fact. X Stickman (talk) 11:06, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
He's obviously trying to show that atheistic Britain only does well in joke sports. However, in typical Andy style, he's gone off half-cocked and it's backfired on him. Give it a few days and swimming will vanish from the list and sailing and rowing will be added. --PsyGremlinRunāt! 11:09, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
Hmmm... maybe I'm being a bit too hard on Andy. Seems CPalmer is playing his parodist hand.img --PsyGremlinParla! 12:01, 10 August 2012 (UTC)

You wot? BMX is an Olympic sport?! Maybe Andyboy has a point... London Grump (talk) 12:41, 10 August 2012 (UTC)

There might be joke sports, but Andy has no point.
Just another bit of Andy's half-assed attempts to justify whatever opinions he holds. Phiwum (talk) 13:05, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
I think we can let Andy have Synchronised Swimming (but the rest are all true tests of speed, strength or skill, even if that isn't why so many people watch beach volleyball). The Real James Brown (talk) 13:07, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
There's not a staggering amount of difference between Synchronised Swimming and Rhythmic Gymnastics. Are you going to lose that as well? Bad Faith (talk) 13:15, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
I can either expose my own pointless biases, and say that of course these dance-like events aren't really sports, or I can just defer to the fact that persons who have considered the question considerably more carefully than I have decided these are sports. Given that the question of what counts as an Olympic sport matters not one whit to me, I opt for the latter. Phiwum (talk) 13:20, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
I'm surprised he hasn't brought up the air rifle/pistol events. They're fairly boring to watch, especially if you're not into the event to begin with (I don't care about taekwando, for example, but I still find it fun to watch), and he could claim they're a wussified liberal version of proper shooting. Also America doesn't do well in it. So yeah, surprised he hasn't brought them up. X Stickman (talk) 13:50, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
Why isnt Racewalking on the list? — Unsigned, by: 131.107.147.149 / talk / contribs

Further Andy trolling[edit]

If some of the British male boxers win golds in their various weight classes, it might be fun to troll Andy with the fact that America's only success in boxing was a women's event. I suggest "Mystery: Does America's gun culture make them effeminate?" --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 13:04, 10 August 2012 (UTC)

In combat sports:
USA
Boxing - Men 0G 0S 0B : Women 1G 0S 1B
Fencing - Men 0G 0S 0B : Women 0G 0S 1B
Judo - Men 0G 0S 0B : Women 1G 0S 1B
Taekwondo - Men 0G 0S 1B : Women 0G 0S 1B
Go for it.  Lily Inspirate me. 08:53, 12 August 2012 (UTC)

Consistency[edit]

Let's see if we can actually detect any in CP's choices:

  • Badminton - basically like tennis, but with a higher net, more unpredictable projectile, smaller racquets, and the added rule that the shuttlecock cannot hit the floor at all, instead of just once, but tennis is not on the list. No consistency detected.
  • Beach Volleyball - like volleyball, but done on a more uneven, more unpredictable surface that's actually harder to run about on, but normal volleyball is not on the list. No consistency detected.
  • BMX Cycling - like track cycling, but instead of being about pure speed, is about speed and the ability to navigate a track that is more twisty than a simple loop, as well as having bumps, jumps, tunnels, etc, etc, etc. Track cycling is not on the list. No consistency detected.
  • Dressage - A sport that is about huge levels of communication between rider and horse, showing them moving as one. Presumably included because, in Andy's mind, it's 'elitist', due to having to be rich enough to own a horse, but other equestrian events, such as showjumping or eventing, are not on the list. No consistency detected.
  • Rhythmic Gymnastics - Other gymnastic events are not on the list for indiscernible reasons. No consistency detected.
  • Synchronized Swimming - frankly, not sure why this is on here at all, so cannot say whether CP is being consistent or not.
  • Swimming relays - other relay race events not on here, and some other swimming races not on here, so no consistency detected.
  • Backstroke races - apparently on here do to it being 'an inefficient, silly stroke', yet it's not uncommon to have faster times than the breaststroke, for example, which isn't on here. No consistency detected.
  • Swimming medleys - apparently on here because 'it is hard even to imagine how preposterous a land-based equivalent of this might look. There are a very large list of sports which would look preposterous if changed in a similar manner, for example, an underwater version of pole-vaulting, yet they are not on this list. No consistency detected.
  • Table Tennis - like tennis, but done at higher speeds, on a smaller 'court', with smaller 'racquets', yet tennis is not on this list. No consistency detected.
  • Taekwondo - why this martial art, but not judo? No consistency detected.
  • Women's Boxing and Wrestling - apparently on here because Andy think that women never fight, so this is 'artificial', yet I've never seen any men fight whilst wearing boxing gloves outside a boxing match, so I'm not sure how that is any less artificial. I've also never seen anyone wrestling outside a wrestling match. unless it's also accompanied by kicks and punches that would most certainly not be allowed in a wrestling match, outside of the fake 'wrestling' of the WWE. No consistency detected. 81.151.250.49 (talk) 13:36, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
I'm not particularly interested in Dressage but I can appreciate the skill it takes to make a horse behave like they do. I knew that Dressage was originally a military thing but what I didn't know is that when it was first added to the Olympics, you had to be a commissioned military officer to enter. Is Andy claiming that such officers are jokes? rpeh •TCE 13:55, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
Tennis is OK because the US generally wins medals but in the UK has often been regarded as an upper middle-class pastime as they often had gardens large enough to have a court. Badminton can be very quick and demands fast reflexes so why this becomes silly can only be some racist slant. Steven Kavanagh (talk) 14:12, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
I'm not impressed with Anonymous IP's attempts to find consistency. The fact that sport X is just like sport Y except for some odd difference doesn't mean that sport X has the same claim to being a real sport as Y. Otherwise, we should just as well have three-legged hurdle races, blindfolded breaststroke and so on and so on.
If you want to show Andy's inconsistency, use his own silly criterion, namely whether the sports "bring out the best in human achievement with a underlying purpose". Now, it's pretty obvious that there is no essential reason that women's fencing does this, but women's boxing doesn't. Nor that Tennis has some sort of underlying purpose missing from table tennis. And so on and so on. If you'll just try to explicitly apply his own rule, then the inconsistency is that much clearer. Phiwum (talk) 14:17, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
"Bring[ing] out the best in human achievement with an underlying purpose" could be applied to many fields so only a buffoon would try to restrict it to some nonsensical recreational activities. Steven Kavanagh (talk) 14:24, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
The funny thing is even from Andy's criteria, the inclusion of tennis isn't so clear cut since it's not clear if it really brings out the best. The inclusion of tennis is sometimes controversial because whatever players may say, it doesn't generally seem as important to most tennis players (particularly individual players) as winning any one of the majors and so may not always bring out the best. Yet for table tennis and badminton, winning the olympics is generally considered the greatest singular (including for those in doubles in badminton) achievement (with badminton is can get somewhat complicated because there are also team events which don't feature in the olympics but these aren't singular achievements). The same would of course be true for football even without restrictions although Andy seems to have missed that point (although with football it's probably even worse in terms of importance). Incidentally, Andy's sexism is even more funny when you read conservapedia's olympics article complain about the historic poor treatment of women competitors in athletic events Nil Einne (talk) 21:02, 11 August 2012 (UTC)

Ken wades in with a bit of common sense and an typo[edit]

I think this article is a wet blanket and an sour grapes way of minimizing others achievementsimg Steven Kavanagh (talk) 15:01, 10 August 2012 (UTC)

Good for Ken (for a change). Backstroke isn't a "joke sport" because it's the main stroke you need to use for life-saving in water. The swimming medley tests four essential skills: freestyle for speed, breaststroke for distance, backstroke for rescuing, butterfly for showing-off. And referring to an earlier point, I have no idea what rhythmic gynmastics is. Is it like synchronised swimming on land? The Real James Brown (talk) 15:47, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
Ken "Madness of Atheism" DeMeyer thinks an article is too negative? My my my. --Sasayaki (talk) 15:47, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
Once you get him off homosexuality, evolution and atheism, Conservative can be fairly eloquent and lucid, and even more surprisingly, often takes the sane and sensible side of the argument. That's what makes his insanity in other areas even sadder; he's clearly capable of communicating rationally, it's just that he doesn't most of the time. X Stickman (talk) 17:42, 10 August 2012 (UTC)

Snark[edit]

Does Happle Tea read CP? --PsyGremlinПоговорите! 15:39, 10 August 2012 (UTC)

Soccer?[edit]

I see that Andy and company added the most popular sport in the world as a "joke sport". Reason being you have to be 23 or under currently and thus is disallows many professional players from participating, thus somehow that makes the whole thing a joke. Because I guess anyone can do it? I dunno.--BMcP - Just an astronomy guy 17:55, 10 August 2012 (UTC)

You can't "bring out the best in human achievement with a underlying purpose" if it's just under-twenty-three-year-olds. Duh.
Er, except, of course, that many of man's greatest achievements are due to teenagers. So, maybe this is a good way to bring out the best in human achievement. Oh, dear. Phiwum (talk) 18:18, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
So Ryan Giggs (38) and Craig Bellamy (33) had to disguise themselves as teenagers? Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science.Moderator 05:54, 11 August 2012 (UTC)
According to TV by the numbers, the US vs Japan ladies final was the most watched sporting event on NBC ever. Guess them Yanks love joke sports. PsyGremlinTala! 06:18, 11 August 2012 (UTC)
The US men's team didn't qualify. Of course it's a joke sport. — Unsigned, by: 1.186.133.111 / talk / contribs
Mexico just won gold. Definitely a joke sport. Rennie McGreet (talk) 15:58, 11 August 2012 (UTC)

Beyond a joke sports medals[edit]

When athletes get stripped of a gold medal from a previous games for cheating doping. Steven Kavanagh (talk) 14:48, 10 August 2012 (UTC)

Or what about[edit]

When the first medal winner in a non-joke event for the US in over 40 years came into the country "illegally"? -- Seth Peck (talk) 15:11, 10 August 2012 (UTC)

Duck Season!!! Wabbit Season!!![edit]

Left hand, meet right hand. I'm sure you guys will be great pals. Theory of Practice "Trampoline" is an Olympic sport now? 01:36, 13 August 2012 (UTC)

There's no contradiction there. If this were any site other than CP, we'd simply assume their view is nuanced, so that they promote his budget plan while questioning his experience. Of course, CP doesn't do nuance. Phiwum (talk) 01:46, 13 August 2012 (UTC)
No contradiction? It's confusing as hell what bias they're trying to promote! 97.96.181.48 (talk) 02:40, 13 August 2012 (UTC)
  • Terry Hurlbut (I cannot think of a funnier synoynm than his own name!) is merely linkispamming his rag.
  • Andy Schlafly [ibid] isn't sure he likes Mitt's (apparent) VP choice, this link is the result of his animosity.
That said, I do not see a contradiction so much as Hurlbut being much more of a team-player than Andy could ever hope to be; Terry would champion the ghost of Mao if the specter could pony up a (long form) Birth Certificate. C®ackeЯ 03:06, 13 August 2012 (UTC)
This is revolting: "And remember: Barack Hussein Obama has no plan." What kind of revolting propaganda is this? Does Obama just show up to work and twirl pencils around his thumb while he hangs out with his buddies figuring out what to lie about next? I guess so. Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svg 13:50, 13 August 2012 (UTC)
I thought Obama's plan was to intentionally wreck the US economy and create a communist dictatorship. Vulpius (talk) 15:19, 13 August 2012 (UTC)
I thought the plan was to establish neo-feudalism! Ah, well, I might still be able to use this armor.... TheLateGatsby (talk) 15:38, 13 August 2012 (UTC)
No, no. His plan is to implement Sharia Law and reintroduce Gulags for Christian conservatives. Haven't you been paying attention?Hiphopopotamus (talk) 17:39, 13 August 2012 (UTC)
So, let me get this straight: he has no plan but an agenda and is a socialist. Yeah sure. By the way, you can bounce against these walls. --K. (talk) 19:31, 13 August 2012 (UTC)
If Obama introduced neo-feudalism, Andy would be overjoyed. Hell, he might even vote for him. --YossarianSpeak, Memory 22:36, 13 August 2012 (UTC)
He clearly wants to be Andrew, Baron of Schlafly. Possibly to exercise the droit du seigneur. MDB (the MD is for Maryland, the B is for Bear) 12:05, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
Pratchett reader? 86.139.227.149 (talk) 15:38, 16 August 2012 (UTC)

If I just tinker with this a little.....[edit]

...thereimg. See, conservapedia proven right again. AceThe Rep Grows Bigger 03:23, 14 August 2012 (UTC)

...except Andy can't countimg. Theory of Practice "Trampoline" is an Olympic sport now? 04:06, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
Yes, but if he removes the countries that did wellimg, the rest did badly. I can't believe you liberals refuse to accept this great insight. rpeh •TCE 04:42, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
Wow... best example yet of Andy massaging the data to suit his POV. --PsyGremlin話しなさい 09:30, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
And Ken steps in to keep things both classy and sane.img --PsyGremlinPraat! 09:54, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
That's the second time, to my knowledge, that Ken has used the term "nancy boys". Before that, more than once on these pages in the past I wrote what I mockingly imagined Ken might say about something using the phrase "nancy boys". I bloody hope he didn't pick it up from me.--Spud (talk) 10:09, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
Ken obsessively reads every word on this page and has a habit of taking a shine to things. You caused this, Spud. It was Your Fault. ONE / TALK 11:34, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
Let's hope Kenny doesn't watch much Blackadder, otherwise he'll start using "screaming bender with no more right to live on God's clean earth than a weasel." Anyway, I rather like how he uses birth rates in countries with same sex marriage. As if he thinks that if they can't get married, they'll give up and just turn straight. --جئت ورأيت أنا القرف gross, isn't it? 11:42, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
Not only that, but Kenny boy seems to think that the millions of gays just waiting to marry will affect the birthrate and thus team's performance at the Olympics. Of course, there aren't many 4 year olds in the Olympic team... --PsyGremlinSiarad! 12:04, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
That last link that Psy provided should be the poster-boy for anyone who yet isn't convinced that Andy willingly, and regularly, engages in overt manipulation of the data in order to make it support his foregone, biased conclusions. If he did this anywhere else but Conservapedia, he would be both laughed out and drummed out for his dishonest yet amateurish misuse of statistics.--BMcP - Just an astronomy guy 12:52, 14 August 2012 (UTC)

Andy doesn't want it to be in the Conservapedia Proven Wrong, so he slyly removes the "Proven Right AGAIN!" headline. That way, if someone puts it in the Proven Wrong article, he can remove it with the excuse that it's being discussed, but it'd be hilarious if someone added it and even included his attempts to skew the results by omitting countries that did well. AndyToad.gifNorsemanCyser Melomel 13:18, 14 August 2012 (UTC)

So how come...?[edit]

Explain this, Andy: Over 43% of the out athletes (10 of the 23) won a medal in these Olympic Games. That's over double the percentage of athletes overall who won medals: 20%. rpeh •TCE 13:20, 14 August 2012 (UTC)

Ken's latest tactic...[edit]

...for bringing about the complete demise of evolution and atheism is Dinosaur Evangelism.

"Do you accept Jesusaurus as your personal dinosavior?"

"Do you reject Barney, and all his merchandising?" MDB (the MD is for Maryland, the B is for Bear) 11:48, 14 August 2012 (UTC)

Oh look. Another QE post full of "we are going to" "will be writing' "has plans". Maybe one day they'll actually get round to "We did." It's taken them over a year to write half their booklet. --PsyGremlinSpeak! 12:02, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
Thought experiment: who writes more slowly: Ken, or George RR Martin? MDB (the MD is for Maryland, the B is for Bear) 12:11, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
ok a) You're going to the special hell (yes, the one reserved for people who talk in theaters) for that comparison and b) I'm willing to wait for GRRM's work. --PsyGremlinParla! 12:58, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
Two of the three adults in this picture look obese according to the Ken standard. How does he justify allowing so many atheists to run his creationist stand since Christians are obviously never overweight in any significant number.--BMcP - Just an astronomy guy 12:30, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
It's the end times for evolution as it appears that less than half a dozen QE! pamphlets are strewn among other creation-themed material that all seem to be made towards bright colors and pretty images to attract children in a make-shift lemonade stand. WE'RE DOOMED! (BTW Ken, it's been three years since you red telephoned me that atheism would be dead the next year) AndyToad.gifNorsemanCyser Melomel 13:26, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
What's more there are so few QE mini-posters that they have to be moved around between pictures - from being held on with spring clips to being carefully positioned on the table. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science.Moderator 15:02, 14 August 2012 (UTC)

Could the unnamed "talented author" be Ken himself, with a verrrrrrrrry cunning gender switch to keep it mysterious? London Grump (talk) 19:34, 14 August 2012 (UTC)

Nah. User:Conservative seems to only do online stuff. Since that's obviously his great skill and all. I really doubt he does much aside from Conservapedia and other blogs. Phiwum (talk) 20:22, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
Considering it's Kendoll, it's entirely possible he's just making the whole thing up. After all, the only thing we've ever seen the QE thing produce is fake Yahoo answers posts by Kendoll. It's possible the entire thing is a product of his imagination at this point. Everyone else has abandoned the blog, so why should we believe they're still there behind the scenes? --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 21:57, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
Exactly.London Grump (talk) 08:27, 15 August 2012 (UTC)

I really do like the notion that this mighty institution is going to defeat the biology departments of every college in the country. DickTurpis (talk) 22:43, 14 August 2012 (UTC)

What are you talking about? They got their own awning! THEIR OWN AWNING! And two card tables! --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 23:03, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
Noep, them are Banquet Tables, beside which a measly square card table would collapse in quivering shame. Sprocket J Cogswell (talk) 12:30, 15 August 2012 (UTC)
Beware the Ides of August! C®ackeЯ 14:17, 16 August 2012 (UTC)

The RINO National Convention[edit]

No doubt. Between his questioning of Romney (see above) and this, Andy is setting the stage for a CP Proven Right take on the upcoming Romney 2012 debacle. Theory of Practice "Trampoline" is an Olympic sport now? 14:50, 14 August 2012 (UTC)

Forgive me for perhaps not paying close enough attention but...Christie is a RINO???? --Andy Franklinson (talk) 17:21, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
Christie = overweight = atheist = RINO. Jared (talk) 17:25, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
Isn't Rush Limbaugh overweight? Does that mean he's a RINO? I'm confused... --Andy Franklinson (talk) 17:41, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
Rush is just "husky". C®ackeЯ 19:39, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
I'm too damn lazy to hunt up the reference, but Andy has indicated doubts about Limbaugh before, because the man's lifestyle does not fit with his definition of conservatism. MDB (the MD is for Maryland, the B is for Bear) 18:13, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
At least one Christian has said they don't need the kind of help Rush has to offer. --TheLateGatsby (talk) 19:08, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
That's pretty rich, coming from a guy who loves his country so much he thinks children shouldn't attend the schools that are run by the government. -- Seth Peck (talk) 20:57, 14 August 2012 (UTC)

I have to admit, I'm confused by which Republicans give Andy a rise. I mean, in the primaries I would have thought Santorum would give Andy a giant, 3 inch boner, but he dismissed him from the get-go, even though it seemed they were tailor made for each other. Ryan too, yet Andy seems to really dislike the guy, and would have preferred Portman, who's been widely regarded as a more moderate and safe pick. He even stated McConnell or Christie would have been better, while simultaneously smearing the latter as a RINO. Both Ryan and Santorum are Catholics as well, just like Andy. So really, what gives? DickTurpis (talk) 01:49, 15 August 2012 (UTC)

He was wet for Gingrich of all people for some bizarre reason. Alot of people suspected it was because mommy dearest backed Gingrich. --Revolverman (talk) 01:58, 15 August 2012 (UTC)
That was my theory at the time, but it doesn't explain his irrational antipathy towards Santorum, not his current dislike of Ryan, who would seem to be the most Andy-like of the shortlist VP picks. I mean, we know Andy will throw anyone under the bus if the contradict his big three issue of guns, abortion, and school prayer, but Ryan seems on board with all of these (school prayer not being a big issue these days). What did Ryan do wrong? DickTurpis (talk) 02:14, 15 August 2012 (UTC)
It is all recorded in the archives of this page. When it came to Santorum, Andy would routinely flip-flop between proclaiming the former Senator as a "pro-abort" RINO and a true conservative, depending on who the most serious primary competition was for Santorum at the time.--BMcP - Just an astronomy guy 12:15, 15 August 2012 (UTC)

The British Empire[edit]

It isn't Britain that ran the Olympics well, or even the Commonwealth of Nations (British Commonwealth), but according to Andy, the success of the Olympics is a demonstration of the abilities of the British Empireimg, despite the remains of the latter being essentially ended in 1997 with the handing over of Hong Kong to China.--BMcP - Just an astronomy guy 20:28, 14 August 2012 (UTC)

Andy's right; the British Empire ran things well. But then some uppity Americans caused a fuss and ruined everything. ONE / TALK 10:10, 16 August 2012 (UTC)
Gosh-darn that anti-colonialist agenda! MDB (the MD is for Maryland, the B is for Bear) 11:38, 16 August 2012 (UTC)
Well the Brits & colonialists have virtually no respect for the American Bill of Rights First Amendment guarantee of Free Speech. ToP or Psy oughta go explain that to Andy as their 5 year blocks expire. nobsCorporations are people, too 22:06, 16 August 2012 (UTC)
Probably because, you know, they don't need too. Not being American and all. AceThe Rep Grows Bigger 22:13, 16 August 2012 (UTC)

I probably have a few five-year blocks that are over soon, myself.[edit]

WIN. Theory of Practice "Trampoline" is an Olympic sport now? 21:49, 14 August 2012 (UTC)

Hah, all mine were for infinity, thanks to TK. Redchuck.gif ГенгисmutatingModerator 23:06, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
Sweet memories: I'm blocked for all eternity, as RonLar and in my first incarnation DiEb. My last edit as DiEb is five year old - at cp:Talk:Center, and the article still features the humorous phrase The center of a geometric shape is a point that, on average, the points of the shape are equidistant from. Idiots. larronsicut fur in nocte 11:30, 15 August 2012 (UTC)
Hahaha that is fucking hilarious. I remember back when the early CP brass were dishing out 5 year blocks, and some observers over here were thinking - "why five years? what possible person would pen that in his calendar and make a note to come back to contribute?" I look forward to more 5-year block returnees. It's also amusing to note that TK's block outlived him. ONE / TALK 10:15, 16 August 2012 (UTC)

Sorry Ken...[edit]

....I know you love trotting out the "Atheism is shrinking line" but I got news for you. Ace McWicked 01:02, 15 August 2012 (UTC)

Next time you see Ken on Yahoo Answers, somebody should link to that. --Andy Franklinson (talk) 10:36, 15 August 2012 (UTC)
Stop being such a quarrelsome, socially challenged man. MDB (the MD is for Maryland, the B is for Bear) 11:20, 15 August 2012 (UTC)
Specifically, he points to the poll’s finding that Vietnam, while showing a sharp 23 percent drop in religiosity since 2005, also shows no atheists. “Eight million Communist Party members but zero atheists?” he said. “That statistic makes me very doubtful of the accuracy of the survey overall and some of the international comparisons.”
Insert obligatory "Inigo Montoya" meme here. -- Seth Peck (talk) 11:34, 15 August 2012 (UTC)
MDB, right. Sorry. --Andy Franklinson (talk) 13:17, 15 August 2012 (UTC)
The poll is simply wrong. They claim, for instance, that Japan has the second greatest number of "convinced atheists", but I have it on good authority that Japan isn't really atheist and, in fact, an expert on Japanese religious trends couldn't name a single, prominent Japanese atheist. So, to hell with your liberal claptrap! Phiwum (talk) 14:27, 15 August 2012 (UTC)
I doubt you would find a "prominent atheist" in any country which doesn't have bothersome religious zealots, since there isn't really a need to inform people about the idea of NOT believing in silly stuff. --GTac (talk) 16:15, 15 August 2012 (UTC)
*cough*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aum_Shinrikyo *cough* GTac. --Revolverman (talk) 20:08, 15 August 2012 (UTC)
I meant bothersome religious zealots which are common and accepted by the society, such as the conservative right in America. With the Tokyo subway gas attacks, the media in Japan didn't need to get an "atheist" to tell everyone that the religious cult was a bad thing. --GTac (talk) 06:55, 16 August 2012 (UTC)

Looking at the list of the most religious countries (Ghana, Nigeria, Kenya, Brazil, Peru, Macedonia, Romania, Armenia), I am reminded of Matthew 7:16 "Ye shall know them by their fruits." Apparently they are not praying hard enough to keep their nations from being second- or third-world. Or, in Romania's case, not praying hard enough to keep Dracula out. Carlaugust (talk) 14:12, 16 August 2012 (UTC)

While it's true that you can't walk 10 meters in Nigeria without bumping into a church (of course, every 5m it's somebody wanting to use your bank account to get his millions out of the country and every 3m it's somebody selling you coke and/or his sister) most of these are run by nefarius scum who make the US charismatic preachers look positively angelic by comparison. Guys like TB Joshua, Reinhard Bonnke, David Oyedepo, Chris Oyakhilome. All of them taking millions off the poor. But as long as they all worship Jebus that's fine. --PsyGremlinSprich! 14:47, 16 August 2012 (UTC)

That damn Muslim President[edit]

going around, drinking beer and eating pork chops... --PsyGremlinTala! 14:47, 15 August 2012 (UTC)

When will you crazy liberals learn; he is allowed to lie about being a muslim, including doing non-muslim things, if it furthers the muslim agenda. This is just further proof of his muslimosity. X Stickman (talk) 16:52, 15 August 2012 (UTC)
Wish I had a HuffPo account now. If I had one, I would submit a caption along the lines of "To the great disappointment of the far right, the Vulcan Death Grip is still not real." --جئت ورأيت أنا القرف gross, isn't it? 17:17, 15 August 2012 (UTC)
Isn't it just a bit too convenient that there were pork chops and beer at the same place just waiting for the president? Clearly the whole thing was staged. I bet he danced too. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 17:25, 15 August 2012 (UTC)
It proves his point. I've never seen anyone eat-pork-chops-and-drink-beer-without-eating-pork-chops-and-drinking-beer like that. Have you? «-Bfa-» 20:25, 15 August 2012 (UTC)

^.^[edit]

[1]img The r-verse is going wild. -- Seth Peck (talk) 17:10, 15 August 2012 (UTC)

Eeyup; just another example of a popular site finding Conservapedia and universally laughing at it. They ever realize everytime they get views it is just people mocking them?--BMcP - Just an astronomy guy 17:58, 15 August 2012 (UTC)
And it's gone, though the page suffered much more wandalism and is still under attack from obvious vandals. -- Seth Peck (talk) 20:23, 15 August 2012 (UTC)

Chuckarse redux[edit]

No further commentary is necessary. The latest three stories on LaunchKeister's blog are:

  • Tragedy, Accountability, and the Obama Presidency
  • Indirect Deaths by Candidates – Are Obama’s Hands Clean?
  • November 6, 2012 an Election or a Last Chance? – Check Your Clock America!

I'm not posting this to highlight Chucky's insanity - that's been done before. No. My worry is that he can find other people beyond the usual Trioka of himself, Insanitary and Skindisease that are prepared to tell the same lies and believe in them without question. Seriously, America. WTF is up with you? rpeh •TCE 20:32, 15 August 2012 (UTC)

I see those are all written by the Reverend Michael Bresciani, who seems to be a nasty piece of work, so right at home with Hurlbut et al. The same articles appear on Faithwriters and are free to share, so it's probably a case of Hurlbut copy/pasting the articles, rather than Bresciani actually contributing to CNAV. --PsyGremlinRunāt! 08:54, 16 August 2012 (UTC)
As an aside, is it just me, or does CNAV use a really lousy picture of Romney, especially compared to their Obama photo? Obama looks dignified, Romney looks like he's about to order one of his henchman to dispose of "Mister Bond." MDB (the MD is for Maryland, the B is for Bear) 11:32, 16 August 2012 (UTC)
Given what Hurlbut uses for his profile pic, I wouldn't put too much on their ability to choose suitable pictures. --PsyGremlinParla! 11:43, 16 August 2012 (UTC)

Ken and Post-Modernism[edit]

Ken has learned a new word.

Really, though... my initial thought was "Ken attempting to discuss post-modernism is like a five year old attempting to discuss quantum physics", but I realized that would be wrong: the five year old would be cute.

In the interest of full disclosure, I have no qualification to discuss post-modernism myself. (Uuuuuuhhh... it comes after modernism?) I, however, am not blogging about how it will help destroy global atheism any minute now. MDB (the MD is for Maryland, the B is for Bear) 11:49, 16 August 2012 (UTC)

Here is a start, if one wishes to read up on the subject. I, myself, am not a fan of hot air. I prefer Post-Impressionism, which belongs to a similar era. Sprocket J Cogswell (talk) 14:00, 16 August 2012 (UTC)
Ken's "essays" probably do fit under the definition of postmodernism actually. Vulpius (talk) 16:13, 16 August 2012 (UTC)
Sounds like someone's been reading too much Steve Fuller lately. Nebuchadnezzar (talk) 16:30, 16 August 2012 (UTC)
Quote from one of my tutors when I was doing my history degree last year...."Postmodernism, or as most real historians refer to it, complete and utter bollocks..." Mick McT (talk) 18:58, 16 August 2012 (UTC)
The use of post-modernism by anyone on CP surprises me. For a blog that is so obsessed with defining X as Conservative and Y as liberal, while simultaneously extolling the virtues of Ayn Rand's Obvjective bollocks of "THIS IS HOW IT IS AND THERE ARE NO CONTRADICTIONS - ONE OF THEM MUST BE WRONG, IE: YOURS", then it almost seems that Ken's side would lose. Doraemon話そう!話そう! 21:45, 16 August 2012 (UTC)
Anybody who thinks religious fundamentalists are the most ignorrant people in the world, has never seen a bunch oh so real scientists talk about post-modernism. It's like someody took a dump in your cerial and told you it was a chocolate flake. --84.158.59.48 (talk) 00:18, 17 August 2012 (UTC)

Growth of creationism in New Zealand?[edit]

Really Ken? Got any figures for that? Of course you don't. AceThe Rep Grows Bigger 22:44, 16 August 2012 (UTC)

It is just a list of countries where Ken has registered question evolution blogs on blogspot.com.xx (xx being that countries code). It is sad that he thinks he will have any success at this. Pi 3:14 (talk) 23:28, 16 August 2012 (UTC)
Considering New Zealand is ~33% non-religious and Christianity only barely holding on to 50% as at 2006 (figures are expected to weigh heavily in favour of non-religious next census or at least hold steady) I don't expect much sweat to be dripping from the brow of evolutionists (read: normal people) anytime soon. AceThe Rep Grows Bigger 23:35, 16 August 2012 (UTC)
Ken is such an ingenious gentleman; tilting at evolutionary windmills, hoping to win the hearts of fair Asian ladies. Mad, fifty years old, but not so much knight-errant as nightly erroneous. The parallels are uncanny. Redchuck.gif ГенгисRationalWiki GOLD memberModerator 07:18, 17 August 2012 (UTC)
Genghis has just likened my favourite literary character to my least favourite Internet arsehole. That's given me a sad face.Spud (talk) 09:30, 17 August 2012 (UTC)
It's like the QE South Africa blog - stillborn. Good to see that Xianity is still a destructive wildfire, burning things and polluting the atmosphere. --PsyGremlinPraat! 09:46, 17 August 2012 (UTC)
I picture Ken regularly putting money aside, saving it up until he's got the cost of a domain name registration, finding an atlas to pick the next country where athe-darw-olution will be smashed into a million little pieces, and rushing to godaddy or whatever to register his latest international assault.
Ken, if I might make an humble suggestion... questionevolution.kp. It my be difficult to do that online, so an in-person visit is called for... MDB (the MD is for Maryland, the B is for Bear) 11:35, 17 August 2012 (UTC)
While he's there, he could spend a few moments lecturing the locals on just how fat Kim Jong-Il was, due to him being a lousy atheist. --PsyGremlinFale! 11:53, 17 August 2012 (UTC)
As an atheist liberal, Kim Jong Un definitely lacks machismo, as attested by his lack of willingness to debate with shockofgoat. This makes him unattractive to hispanic ladies. Ole ole ole!!! --TheEgyptiansig001.png 11:58, 17 August 2012 (UTC)
Screw Kim vs shock -- I want to see Kim vs. Ken! MDB (the MD is for Maryland, the B is for Bear) 12:14, 17 August 2012 (UTC)
In a HELL IN A CELL! --Revolverman (talk) 04:54, 18 August 2012 (UTC)

Title IX, Again[edit]

Andy is still going on about the death of US sports due to Title IX. Why the hell does he think 65% of US medals were won by women? If US women were a country, they'd have been tied with Great Britain for #2 in golds, bested only by China. At the 1972 games (the year that Title IX passed), 10 of the 33 US golds were taken by women and 8 of those were swimming events. Is he such an anti-feminist that he really doesn't see the connection between letting girls compete in high school and women breaking world records in London? "But what about wrestling?" What a dick. Whoover (talk) 22:49, 16 August 2012 (UTC)

All womens' sports are joke sports. Unless you're pregnant at the time, then you're anti-abortion. Or something. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 22:56, 16 August 2012 (UTC)
cp:Mystery: Why is cookie baking not an Olympic sport? Redchuck.gif ГенгисYou have the right to be offended; and I have the right to offend you.Moderator 06:57, 17 August 2012 (UTC)
I imagine he thinks something like "okay, all those golds won by women are due to all the support and funding they got due to title IX. If that funding and support hadn't been taken away from the men, then the US would've won ALL the gold medals in every event." or something similar. As far as I can tell, his argument against it has never been that women are underperforming (although he's probably made that argument somewhere because he always does), it's that men are underperforming because they've lost x amount of support to the women. X Stickman (talk) 12:24, 17 August 2012 (UTC)

"thousands of marriages"[edit]

Andy resorts to inane hyperbole for the millionth time. I wonder if he did have a FB account and nobody friended him. I wonder if Andy has any real life friends (apart from people like Hurlbut who are only there to ride on Andy's coattails.) --PsyGremlinSprich! 09:55, 17 August 2012 (UTC)

I can speak with authority and say yes, Andy did have an FB account at one stage. Acei9 22:05, 17 August 2012 (UTC)
and it has " hurt the academic grades of millions of students"! Thank GOD for cp:Grade inflation, which compensates for the loss... larronsicut fur in nocte 10:46, 17 August 2012 (UTC)
I have a suspicion as to why Andy harps on Facebook destroying marriages, but it's pure speculation, rather cruel and quite possibly slanderous. So I won't share. MDB (the MD is for Maryland, the B is for Bear) 11:36, 17 August 2012 (UTC)
Ah yes, the reason no one else in the Schlafly household speaks to him is because they're all on FB. Of course spending all your free time running an on-line home for dysfunctional fundies is a perfectly sociable thing to do. Redchuck.gif ГенгисRationalWiki GOLD memberModerator 12:27, 17 August 2012 (UTC)

"I wonder if Andy has any real life friends (apart from people like Hurlbut who are only there to ride on Andy's coattails." That someone needs to ride on Andy's coat-tails to feel important is f*cking tragic. Really brought it home to me just how pathetic Hurlbutt is. --TheEgyptiansig001.png 12:02, 17 August 2012 (UTC)

How does facebook destroy marraiges? Has he ever explained that?--ThunderstruckA Bastard Poster, For Bastard People 14:54, 17 August 2012 (UTC)
IIRC he's picking up on some fundie preacher who claimed that people were using Facebook to have affairs (as opposed to say, Adultfriendfinder, or Fetlife). Needless to say, Andy clung on to this like shit to a blanket. The real irony was that it turned out said preacher was having an affair. --PsyGremlin講話 15:41, 17 August 2012 (UTC)
I think what he's getting at is that some people post incriminating information to Facebook that would in the past have not been made public, which spouses then find out about. Likewise, he blames Facebook for students who spend time there to the exclusion of doing homework etc. whose grades therefore suffer. With that interpretation, the "thousands and millions" comment is plausible, eve if it's improper to blame Facebook for users' misuse. 184.61.193.172 (talk) 15:37, 17 August 2012 (UTC)

Has Andy Seen the NYTimes article on Einstein's physics really being influenced by Judaism??[edit]

Given Andy's proclivity for preferring Newtonian physics for being Christian, I wonder if he saw this bit on Einstein's Jewish approach to science in the NYTimes 12 days ago [2] --WickerGuy (talk) 15:43, 17 August 2012 (UTC)

What though? I stopped after two paragraphs because somebody's (the reviewer? the writer?) history is terrible. The Nazi party was founded in 1920 and most of this stuff about master races and so on doesn't feature until later. Einstein doesn't "come along" during this period, the Annus Mirabilis papers are from 1905, he was getting mainstream newspaper mentions in the nineteen-teens and he was on a world tour by 1921, with Hitler still really nowhere in the picture. I get that pop historians love trying to flip every argument upside down, because you don't achieve fame by proving that everything is as we thought it was. But I'm far from persuaded that Nazi references to "Jewish science" were either a likely or deserving target for such reconsideration. 82.69.171.94 (talk) 18:19, 17 August 2012 (UTC)

Andy, Romney and Ryan.[edit]

Part of me really, really hopes that something happens to convince Romney to switch out his VP pick. Andy's gloating would be unbearable. Theory of Practice "Trampoline" is an Olympic sport now? 19:50, 17 August 2012 (UTC)

Unless Ryan rapes an eight year old boy on camera there is no way Romney could possibly switch his VP choice. More realistically something like a significant health issue in a close family member or freak accident (T-boned tomorrow by drunk driver) could also do it. Regardless it would be bad for Romney's campaign no matter how it happened although voters might have a lot of sympathy for him if that did happen. I probably would. --Sasayaki (talk) 20:03, 17 August 2012 (UTC)
I love how schizophrenic CP's main page is getting. One one side you've got Andy going "Ryan is rubbish, why can't they have a conservative like Allen West or Bob McConnell?" and on the other you've got Launchbooty going "Ryan is teh awesome!" --PsyGremlinZungumza! 11:01, 18 August 2012 (UTC)

Islam and the Olympics[edit]

RE: that WIGO. I'm pretty sure that's a troll there, I checked his contributions page and that was his first one of three. The third was restoring that version after someone apparently changed it back. The restoration's defence was a comparison of Islam to druidism and paganism. Nobody can be that stupid without trying to be that stupid. --جئت ورأيت أنا القرف gross, isn't it? 00:13, 18 August 2012 (UTC)

Well, whatever it was, it's been memory-holed, but given that it was an edit to MPR, I doubt it was any troll. Theory of Practice "Trampoline" is an Olympic sport now? 00:38, 18 August 2012 (UTC)
I added the WIGO in but then realised it was an unnotable user so removed it. Doraemon話そう!話そう! 10:06, 18 August 2012 (UTC)

Wait, we're not talking about my entry right? --Andy Franklinson (talk) 10:23, 18 August 2012 (UTC)

No, the one I added that was from the Olympics page but I removed it after about a minute of it being up. Doraemon話そう!話そう! 10:54, 18 August 2012 (UTC)

Olympics redux[edit]

Andy is crowing on the Main page how the guy who came second in the 10,000m has a "deep Catholic faith." Of course, the guy who won is a Muslim. Not sure what that says. --PsyGremlinFale! 11:06, 18 August 2012 (UTC)

A Muslim who prayed on the track after winning. But that got removed from the Olympics article... Doraemon話そう!話そう! 13:11, 18 August 2012 (UTC)
Al-Tebowing?--Fergus Mason Thruppence I got for selling my coat, tuppence for selling my blanket. If ever I 'list for a soldier again, the Devil shall be my Sergeant. 13:47, 18 August 2012 (UTC)

Shooting at conservative political group.[edit]

Kinda surprised that Andy hasn't picked up this ball and run with it. Theory of Practice "Trampoline" is an Olympic sport now? 13:44, 18 August 2012 (UTC)

Being neither young nor a mass murderer, he's perfect fot Andy's Young Mass Murderer article. DickTurpis (talk) 14:01, 18 August 2012 (UTC)

The Sun also rises![edit]

Andy: "Another Counterexample to Relativity, and confirmation of Biblical Scientific Foreknowledge, is reported in the scientific literature: the Sun is perfectly round, such that "If scaled to the size of a beach ball, it would be so round that the difference between the widest and narrow diameters would be much less than the width of a human hair.""img

Oh dear, where to start.... This really isn't about relativity. His own quote says the deviation from a sphere is extremely small, not that it's "perfectly round". As for Biblical Scientific Foreknowledge, he quotes Proverbs 8:27 ESVimg (his own fuckin' version of the Bible hasn't gotten that far): "When he established the heavens, ... he drew a circle on the face of the deep". A circle and a sphere are not the same thing. Also, it's pretty fuckin' obvious that the Sun is round. Might as well use this section's title as Biblical Scientific Foreknowledge. Andy, how can you be so wrong in so few words? --Night Jaguar (talk) 17:07, 18 August 2012 (UTC)

The conservabible has already replaced one instance of circle with sphere. They can fix this too. Of course it becomes a little hard to justify when you're claiming Biblical scientific foreknowledge for one perfect sphere, but the exact same word is used for the spheroid Earth. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 17:28, 18 August 2012 (UTC)
I can't see any way that relativity can affect the shape of the Sun whatsoever. But we already know that, right? --جئت ورأيت أنا القرف gross, isn't it? 21:13, 18 August 2012 (UTC)
The scientists who expected the sun to be less spherical likely also believe in relativity. Good Christians however know that the sun is a perfect sphere and that Jesus disproved relativity. The sun now turns out to be a perfect sphere, thus relativity is wrong. QED.
Except for the parts where none of the above makes ANY sense. Also except for the part where Andy's source illustrates how the sun is not a perfect sphere. Also except for several other parts. --Sid (talk) 21:32, 18 August 2012 (UTC)
Here's some more Biblical Scientific Foreknowledge (of the "Sun looks like a circle" kind that people were aware of tens of thousands of years before the Bible was written): there are males and females, it's light in the daytime and dark at night, you can kill your brother if you hit him repeatedly about the head with the jaw bone of an ass and drinking lots of wine makes you drunk.Spud (talk) 04:49, 19 August 2012 (UTC)
Seems like JudyJ has a plausible connection between the roundness of the Sun and relativity. When calculating the perihelion precession of Mercury one can take into account the oblateness of the Sun. I'm guessing this is what Andy was talking about since he seems obsessed with the perihelion precession. This effect was calculated to make a difference of 0.0254 arcseconds per century and now that the Sun was found to be rounder than previously thought it would probably be smaller. However, the effect ends up being much smaller than the margin of error and makes no difference to the conclusion. General relativity's prediction still overlaps with the observed result.
Andy often seems to spouting out non-sequiturs, but it's usually just him being fallacious and inarticulate. --Night Jaguar (talk) 11:32, 19 August 2012 (UTC)
Ah, but you see, the Bible DIDN'T merely say that the sun was a circle, it said the sun was a sphere! We know that because the word used in the CBP is plainly "sphere," and as we all know, the CBP captures the TRUE intent of the original authors! The fact that every single other translation of the Bible uses the word "circle" simply proves that those versions are liberal pablum. If they were trusworthy, they'd include this shining example of Biblical scientific foreknowledge. --Phentari (talk) 16:13, 19 August 2012 (UTC)

I thought deceit was a liberal trait[edit]

Really, Andy? Removing 8 words makes the other headlines "more visible"? You didn't do that because Terry's a lunatic then. Of course not. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 17:26, 18 August 2012 (UTC)

It's nice to see that even Andy has moments where he goes "Okay, this might be pushing it a little..." --Sid (talk) 21:33, 18 August 2012 (UTC)
Oh, he has them all the time. It's the fact that he never confronts his insane little pose with their insanity that bugs me. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 23:22, 18 August 2012 (UTC)

Pioneer anomaly[edit]

Turns out it was heat. No word from Andy yet. --24.205.243.125 (talk) 16:21, 19 August 2012 (UTC)

Pfffft. My "bets", from likeliest to unlikeliest: Do nothing. Ask whoever raises the point to be able to completely explain every aspect of this story in their own words, understandable to a layman, and then turn it into a debate. Claim the calculations are obviously wrong. Ask why NASA isn't releasing all the data to the (best of the) public, then claim that the missing data obviously disproves this explanation. Claim that the data and this explanation actually proves him right and disproves relativity. Romney and Obama unify the two parties and usher in an incredible utopia. Aliens invade and kill all life on Earth. The Rapture happens. Andy admits he was wrong and removes the point from the list. --Sid (talk) 18:10, 19 August 2012 (UTC)
Didn't we already cover this? Like a month ago, when the story came out? Andy's going to ignore anything that doesn't support his own madness. rpeh •TCE 18:52, 19 August 2012 (UTC)
Real scientists. Pfft. What the hell do they know? Russell Humphreys says it's because God is still busy stretching out the heavens, and that's good enough for me. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 20:46, 19 August 2012 (UTC)

Popeye the vampire slayer.[edit]

In every generation a chosen one is born. He alone will stand against the trolls, wandals and Ratwikians. He is the slayer. Seriously Kara, vampires don't exist. They're not even in the Bible. You might be thinking of unicorns. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 20:49, 19 August 2012 (UTC)

I'm just waiting for kenny boy to create "Essay: Atheist Vampires. Atheists are pale, vampires avoid the sun. Coincidence?"--ThunderstruckA Bastard Poster, For Bastard People 21:01, 19 August 2012 (UTC)
That's too coherent for a Ken essay. It would probably just be a picture of some pigs and a caption about how Dawkins doesn't like peanut butter. «-Bfa-» 21:19, 19 August 2012 (UTC)
Andy is obviously Principal Snyder: "That's the kind of wooly-headed liberal thinking that leads to being eaten." --Night Jaguar (talk) 21:57, 19 August 2012 (UTC)
Heh, deleted and oversighted. Good old Karajou, a coward to the last. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 10:34, 20 August 2012 (UTC)
So now we have Ken apparently adding eight news items in one edit, including links to CNAV. Those Trusworthy™ upholders of truth are making the memory holes bigger by the day. Redchuck.gif ГенгисmaraudingModerator 11:05, 20 August 2012 (UTC)
Now I'll never be able to fantasise about Buffy again. I hate you forever. --PsyGremlin講話 11:18, 20 August 2012 (UTC)
So, what did Karajou say, since it got oversighted? MDB (the MD is for Maryland, the B is for Bear) 13:13, 20 August 2012 (UTC)
It wasn't even that interesting, just a link to world nut daily with some commentary about vampires. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 13:31, 20 August 2012 (UTC)
"Here, polish my stake."
It's actually still on the main page and is part of that 8-in-1 diff posted above. Still, I was bored and had it in my cache, so have a small screenshot:
--Sid (talk) 19:23, 20 August 2012 (UTC)
That now makes more sense. Per usual any deletion/oversighting was done by Ken. Redchuck.gif ГенгисYou have the right to be offended; and I have the right to offend you.Moderator 19:45, 20 August 2012 (UTC)
So it is. I guess it was just Kendoll getting rid of his "weird atheists" case study after having his arse comprehensively handed to him. You'd think he'd learn. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 21:20, 20 August 2012 (UTC)

Mathematical (mis)understanding[edit]

Hi, I'm new here, but have been following the weirdness over on Conservapedia for some time now including the defence of "atheist Dave" over on his blog. Anyway, thought you might like the all new crazy over on "Question Evolution" on the 2nd "Does atheism cause weirdness" thing. I made an attempt to explain basic mathematics to whoever is using "15 questions for evolutionists" account, which apparently means I'm weird and should live in North Korea --Perivale 22:19, 19 August 2012 (UTC)

It's as dumb as him harping on generalized linear regression when he obviously has no idea what it is. He's not very smart to be so very nasty in rejecting good counsel from people trying to help him. "Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayst be wise in thy latter end." Proverbs 19:20. "Cease not, O my son, to hear instruction, and be not ignorant of the words of knowledge." Proverbs 19:27. Nate Keaton (talk) 23:21, 19 August 2012 (UTC)
His reply is exceptionally lame even by Ken's standards. It's a wonder he didn't just delete your comment and pretend it didn't exist. MrChris (talk) 23:22, 19 August 2012 (UTC)
And it's gone! When I looked earlier this morning he had fallen back on his old favorite "I've had a period of illness..." with apologies to those he had been attempting to ridicule in his usual nasty, ignorant manner (inviting them to take a flight on Korean Air which is the South Korean airline). The man is ill. That much is true. StarFish (talk) 07:22, 20 August 2012 (UTC)

Trouble in paradise?[edit]

Andy has trimmed Hurlbut's post again. Hmmm, trouble in paradise? Acei9 01:59, 21 August 2012 (UTC)

...and now Ken gets a trim. Hmmmm Acei9 03:56, 21 August 2012 (UTC)
Andy has been trimming Ken's insanity for years now. It doesn't mean anything. Vulpius (talk) 04:01, 21 August 2012 (UTC)
Yeah no shit - but Terry's? Acei9 04:05, 21 August 2012 (UTC)
It seems even Andy is disturbed by Chuckarse's continued salivating over the prospect of a war in the Middle East. rpeh •TCE 04:52, 21 August 2012 (UTC)
That, and MPR is skitzo with Andy RINOing Ryan, and Chuck hand-jobbing him. --Revolverman (talk) 05:08, 21 August 2012 (UTC)
Andy's out of ideas. He doesn't have another CBP ready to give him traffic and exposure, and he's depressed at the fact there are two (in his mind) RINOs in the Republican driving seat for the Presidential election. He's just going through the motions in editing something because he doesn't know what else to do. It'll be fun to watch what he does after the convention, whether he sells out all his supposed principles and backs Romney/Ryan fully or sticks to his guns and goes anti-Obama and irrelevant issues pieces until November. Even worse for him will be if Romney does manage to scrape a victory, RINOs will be give a national seal of approval and we'll see a purging of wingnuts from the GOP under Romney. -- Iscariot Andy Schlafly for Congress 2012! 06:09, 21 August 2012 (UTC)
That and perhaps he finally realized that MPR is becoming little more than a news feed for Terry and Ken to whore out their own blogs on his dime?--BMcP - Just an astronomy guy 17:47, 21 August 2012 (UTC)
It's about bloody time he did notice that, along with the the fact that most of Main Page Left (featured on Conservapedia) actually links to Ken's blog. Come on, Andy, have some bloody balls and stop those spammers.Spud (talk) 08:08, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
I can't believe he allows his frontpage, the doorway to his blog, to immediately take people elsewhere. He obviously doesn't feel confident enough to tell Ken to develop onsite resources equal to all those he's linking to. The organ grinder has been demoted to monkey it seems. -- Iscariot Andy Schlafly for Congress 2012! 08:11, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
Exactly. The Main Page is supposed to be a portal to your own site, to present interesting links within your own blog. Like in the days when they had the featured article (and Ken's article of the week, month, year and decade). Now all MPL does is direct visitors away from CP to a blog that looks like it was written by a 5-year-old. Just think what Andy could do if all those record numbers (which are clearly kept in the same place as Mitt's tax returns) actually sa more of his blog than the front page. --PsyGremlinSermā! 08:23, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
If you were Andy, would you want Speedy Ken developing onsite resources equal to the shit he posts on Yahoo Questions and the CMI blog [3]? London Grump (talk) 08:25, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
Clearly you haven't come across the Flying Kitty yet. --PsyGremlinSprich! 08:32, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
He does create the same kind of shit on Conservapedia as he does on the Question Evolution! blog. Andy has also praised Ken's "meritorious contributions" to Conservapedia more than once. Come to think of it, looking at what Andy's created, he'd hardly be in any position to accuse Ken of writing crap.--Spud (talk) 09:34, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
I am curious, with all this link-whoring does anyone outside of those who write for those blogs and perhaps us, read the articles? I never see anyone anywhere cite CNAV even among the Tea Party set, and outside of ShockOfGoat does anyone give Ken any notice?--BMcP - Just an astronomy guy 12:08, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
CNAV has a surprisingly high Alexa(For what that is worth) ranking (377,384) with 228 sites linking in. Ken must be shitting himself, given that his QE blog is ranked 1,593,238 with 34 sites linking. However, most of those are links by Ken, and most to CNAV are people going WTF? Hurlbut has also lost most of his commentators, which has been reduced to his fellow travelers engaging in mutual masturbation over each others' articles. So, to answer your question - no. --PsyGremlinПоговорите! 12:26, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
Remember Terry will have whatever the latest iteration of Digg Patriots is to help him pad the number of links in and so forth. None of them will actually read his blog, but they'll link it. Ken's lack of rudimentary social skills mean this option is forever closed to him. -- Iscariot Andy Schlafly for Congress 2012! 13:04, 22 August 2012 (UTC)

Can Popeye even read?[edit]

This broken news item makes me wonder if Popeye can actually read. I have no other explanation for how little sense it makes. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 23:57, 21 August 2012 (UTC)

I can only assume he thinks part of the $500 million was spent on modern art, which does rather suggest that he can't read. rpeh •TCE 08:21, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
(ec) More proof that Mad Dog 20/20 and editing do not play well together. It is amusing to see that Karajerk's role has been reduced to blocking editors, reverting edits and posting lies on the main page. I'm guessing that's all he needs to do in order to feel important. Even he doesn't care about CP enough to copy/paste more content. maybe he's still waiting for the conservative masses to arrive and finish his bird stubs. --PsyGremlinSiarad! 08:22, 22 August 2012 (UTC)

Todd Akin — still a conservative[edit]

It's all just liberals taking things out of context. 'Coz conservatives ain't doin' that. --K. (talk) 22:29, 20 August 2012 (UTC)

One notices Assfly fails on "reporting on issues that the MSM isn't covering by not linking to anything, merely whining about the big bad "proaborts." C®ackeЯ 22:48, 20 August 2012 (UTC)
Thanks to Andy for reminding us all why we all know he's a total fucking asshole. I don't like to think I'm the type of person who wishes harm on someone else, but Assfly challenges that notion. Fuck him. Hard. Hiphopopotamus (talk) 03:00, 21 August 2012 (UTC)
I do fucking enjoy watching Andy when he's like this, only them evul librulz and RINOs that are against him Andy? Well that includes Romney and Ryan who have issued a campaign statement that says they don't agree with what he said. Why isn't this on MPR Andy? Just man up already and call your party's nominees RINOs, then disappear into despair and a bottle before blaming the great media conspiracy and saying conservatism is on the rise in January, all over again. Fun fact, Akin was too fucking crazy for even Palin to endorse in the primary, Mama Skeksis endorsed him though. -- Iscariot Andy Schlafly for Congress 2012! 04:31, 21 August 2012 (UTC)
This is a good one from Karajou "Chik-Fil A" showed the world exactly how bad liberals are!". No, you freak - it showed just how facile and pathetic conservatives are. Acei9 04:57, 21 August 2012 (UTC)
Wow, I was actually expecting Andy to throw Todd under the bus on this one. Now that he has not, I cannot but help why I would ever expect him to do that. Also, has anyone asked him in what way the quote is taken out of context? --جئت ورأيت أنا القرف gross, isn't it? 08:48, 21 August 2012 (UTC)
Since it appears like the GOP will call for a constitutional amendment to outlaw abortion in all cases including rape and incest, all Akin is guilty of in Andy's eyes is jumping the gun. Of interest is this article, which explains how Akin's position creates a problem for creationists. rpeh •TCE 09:14, 21 August 2012 (UTC)
I'd like to think that it's because Andy doesn't know all the facts and his defending Akin, because all he sees is the lamestream media ganging up on a twue conservative. However, given that he grew up in a household where marital rape was seen as a "communication problem" I doubt this is the case. I just hope that Andy and Jpatt's daughters will understand if they ever have to be told day that "Gee, sorry you got raped honey, but that baby you're carrying is a gift from God and you will carry it to term..." --PsyGremlin講話 11:28, 21 August 2012 (UTC)

────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────Is it any surprise that Bryan Fischer is defending Akin? MDB (the MD is for Maryland, the B is for Bear) 11:49, 21 August 2012 (UTC)

This makes all their other Biblical pseudo-scientific crap (flood geology, starlight problem, stuff about pi) seem a lot less worrying. So, Andy supports that prick. Of course he does. He lives in the best of all possible worlds where his God has intelligently designed women's bodies to differentiate between good and evil sperm. Stupid fucking cunt.--Spud (talk) 12:16, 21 August 2012 (UTC)
Momma misogynist endorses Akins. I bet Andy's trying to get her attention/approval. Shakedangle (talk) 16:35, 21 August 2012 (UTC)
Andy claims that when a woman is raped that there is only a 1 out of 50 chance she will become pregnantimg and that this is the "published scientific rate" and "scientific fact". Of course he doesn't bother citing any peer-reviewed journal on this, so I wonder, has some credible journal published such data, or is he just blowing this out of his arse to somehow make it sound like "pregnancy from rape" isn't a problem?--BMcP - Just an astronomy guy 17:53, 21 August 2012 (UTC)
Actually, Andy is fairly close on, but he's ignoring the sample size. From something on boingboing today, they mentioned that there's roughly a 3% chance of pregnancy from any one instance of sex. So about 1.5 out of 50 is reasonable. But the number of reported rapes each year is around 90K as of 2008. Wiki also sources that about 10-20% of women have been raped at some point in their life. - Lardashe
I'm sure it's true that there's a higher rate of pregnancy per fuck with married couples than with rapes, but that's entirely down to married couples knowing how babby is formed. It doesn't mean what Akin and his cohorts want it to mean. rpeh •TCE 20:25, 21 August 2012 (UTC)
I'd say there'd be a MUCH lower rate of pregnancy per fuck for married couples trying to have a baby. I don't know anyone trying to get pregnant who goes, "Okay, we'll have sex once, then we'll see in a month or so if you're pregnant!". Having never been in this position due to being hideously repulsive, I can safely say with complete authority that trying to get pregnant = fuckloads of fuck. I can't really think of a situation where having more (hetrosexual) sex makes you less likely to get pregnant. A thought: maybe the roughly 1-in-30 statistic comes from the whole, 'we fucked once a day for a month and she got pregnant! 1 in 30.' It seems that collecting data on this would be hard because you'd need to find couples who are trying to get pregnant but, weirdly, only have sex once a month or so. --Sasayaki (talk) 21:54, 21 August 2012 (UTC)
I see what you're getting at, but I don't think the statistic you're suggesting should be collected is of any use to anyone. The usual way to collect statistics for contraceptives is to use interviews across a population of women, which is more like your "once a day for a month and she got pregnant" idea except that in practice humans just aren't that fertile. Trying to get clever with timing doesn't work very well (ask all those Catholic women with half a dozen kids), which might be some evolutionary strategy on the part of human females or might just be bad luck. So in practice humans have sex whenever, they sometimes use contraception and the women sometimes get pregnant, and we count up how much they had sex, what type of contraception they were supposedly using, and how many got pregnant over say, one year. That's how you get statistics for the real world effectiveness of e.g. condoms and oral contraceptives and there's no reason not to apply the same statistics to the baseline.
The thing is, the only way Akin wouldn't be an asshole here is if the rate was known to be drastically lower for rape victims. If pregnancy from rape was a genuinely rare phenomenon, if this was something that affected say, less than a dozen women in US history then it'd merely be unpleasantly blunt to point that out. Not very nice for those women but a fair point in the wider debate. But as it is he's clearly an asshole because it isn't drastically lower if it's even lower at all, he's arguing for a policy based on wishful thinking. The fact that tens of thousands of Republican women (not to mention the men) won't punish him at the polls for this tells you everything you didn't want to know about how tribal US politics have become. 82.69.171.94 (talk) 11:51, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
Oh man, I only just read this bit, and it's a perfect Schlaflyism : Logic requires no citation. Worm (talk) 10:46, 23 August 2012 (UTC)

Funny that...[edit]

Kara accuses the Occupy movement of wanting to implement communism.img

However, look what happens when we change a few words in his premise:

"Billing itself as a spontaneous people's revolution and embraced by the media and Republican political establishment, the Tea Party is really a destructive band of thugs whose goal is the violent demise of democracy." --PsyGremlinKhuluma! 13:56, 22 August 2012 (UTC)

Didn't they like a year ago have a sysop call for violent revolution? --K. (talk) 14:16, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
Yeah, Jpratt's classic "I'm not calling for a coup, but we should have a coup." --PsyGremlinSermā! 14:20, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
Not only did he advocate overthrowing the democratically elected President of the United States, he wanted the military to do it:
I strongly believe the President needs to be removed from office by the U.S. Military and tried under the military court system.
He also entitled his essay 'Impeach Obama' and opened with "First I want to be clear, I am not interested in impeachment." --Night Jaguar (talk) 18:23, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
That's because he wasn't at all interested in impeachment. He was interested in sedition and treason. Theory of Practice "Trampoline" is an Olympic sport now? 18:48, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
Heh...I just read Kara's post on CP and thought the same thing as Psy. I couldn't believe he missed the parallels...and even if he doesn't agree, it's still just generic vitriol that could apply anywhere. 99.50.98.145 (talk) 19:14, 22 August 2012 (UTC)

Counterexamples to an Ice Age[edit]

We know that Conservapedia doesn't accept evolution, the scientific age of the Earth, or general and special relativity, but it would appear that they believe the Ice Age is also a lie; a lie who's sole purpose is to cast doubt upon the Great Deluge. This is surprising to be honest because the evidence of Ice Ages is so overwhelming that even Creation Ministries International, (Ken's personal favorite and home to the "15 questions"), and Answers In Genesis each attempt to reconcile their Young Earth beliefs with the last Glacial Maximum. It is bad when your site is so dogmatically fundamentalist, that it is forced to attempt to discredit a scientific theory so well supported and solid that even other YECs are forced to acknowledge it.--BMcP - Just an astronomy guy 16:34, 22 August 2012 (UTC)

Aaaand I think my brain just melted a little. For the love of god, what the everloving fuck went so wrong in andy's life that he became this much of a cosmically retarded prag? I mean... jesus this is some heavy stupid here Judge HoldenThe Judge Smiles 18:06, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
.....seriously? --جئت ورأيت أنا القرف gross, isn't it? 19:25, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
Jesus, what the hell is Andy on, that's setting a new low in stupidity even for him! Not only is geology a closed book for him, but he can't even read the bloody cover! Darkmind1970 (talk) 19:36, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
What is most maddening is that the ice age, like black holes, can be pointed to by YECS to "prove" biblical scientific foreknowledge due to how vague the bible actually is on the subject of life the universe and everything, and indeed have been many times before, and with the same validity and intellectual strength of a billion other creationist arguments andy accepts as gospel truth. Yet despite this, andy decides that things like black holes and the ice age are too scary and complicated for him and are thus filthy liberal lies. I know this question has been raised ad infinitum but How the FUCK is andy this fucking stupid!? Judge HoldenThe Judge Smiles 21:17, 22 August 2012 (UTC)

I think this idea is a result of discussion like this one cp:Talk:Counterexamples to an Old Earth/Archive 2#The massive Great Lakes are receding in volume too rapidly to have existed millions of years ago. Andy loves his young seas which disprove somehow an Old Earth, and when he got his ass handed to him over this idea - not only once, but repeatedly by various editors, he decided to create his own truth. larron (talk) 20:46, 22 August 2012 (UTC)

This is fucking unbelievable. I mean, really, I have bits of desk embedded in my skull. For a moron to argue about relativity or natural selection is just about within the range of my comprehension, but to DENY THE FUCKING ICE AGES? What an utter fucking dolt.--Fergus Mason Thruppence I got for selling my coat, tuppence for selling my blanket. If ever I 'list for a soldier again, the Devil shall be my Sergeant. 01:06, 23 August 2012 (UTC)
Hating on ice ages seems pretty dumb to me simply because there has to be a way to tie it in with the flood, somehow. If terry (I think it was him?) can explain away carbon dating by saying the flood compressed the earth's core so much it turned into a reactor that made pre-dated carbon 14 (or whatever the flying fuck that particular theory was), they must be able to come up with something here, like tons of water turned into tons of ice, or the reverse (end of the last ice age caused the flood). Anything would be better than "it didn't happen". X Stickman (talk) 01:25, 23 August 2012 (UTC)
I have in my possession a copy of Dinosaurs by Design by Duane T. Gish (I stole it and The Great Dinosaur Mystery and the Bible from my school to prevent my students getting exposed to creationist pseudo-scientific bollocks). Anyway, according to Dr. Gish's book, the Ice Age was a direct result of the Great Flood, all the water vapour that had been in the atmosphere before the flood was gone, making the Earth drier and colder. Andy seems to be determined to be the crazy fucking fundie loon who's too crazy for other fucking fundie loons to touch with a ten-foot barge pole.--Spud (talk) 10:58, 23 August 2012 (UTC)
Yeah, I've always thought that Andy was crazy even by standards of fundies. I mean, most of them at least accept general relativity and quantum field theory. --Andynot Schlafly 14:25, 23 August 2012 (UTC)

Andy's rally against Fox News[edit]

Seems like Andy be hatin' on Fox News. Is this a new development, or has he not been feeling the Fox love for some time? Can't say I've noticed. Aboriginal Noise with 4 M's and a silent Q 22:48, 22 August 2012 (UTC)

Answer to the mystery: No. Duh. --جئت ورأيت أنا القرف gross, isn't it? 23:57, 22 August 2012 (UTC)

Chucky saw a movie![edit]

... and decided to use it to once again illustrate why you can't spell metaphor without non sequitur. He probably thought he was on to something clever before he put finger to keyboard. Maybe he just forgot to proof read. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 02:48, 23 August 2012 (UTC)

I just saw that. The bit I enjoyed most is the stupid effing poll at the end. These always ask largely idiotic questions but this one is particularly pointless. rpeh •TCE 05:04, 23 August 2012 (UTC)
When I saw that he'd hyperlinked the phrase "came out" I was expecting something relating to homosexuality. Redchuck.gif ГенгисYou have the right to be offended; and I have the right to offend you.Moderator 07:34, 23 August 2012 (UTC)
Wow, so Obama's Presidency is totally going to result in a dystopian future, where DC has essentially become Rome and poor people fight to the death for the benefit of the rich. Tell me that doesn't sound like a conservative/Ayn Rand wet dream?
“Here, have Medicare vouchers. No, there’s not enough for everybody, but hey, if you kill 2 people and take their vouchers, you’ll have enough to save your baby’s life.” --PsyGremlinParla! 10:24, 23 August 2012 (UTC)
Man, I missed that poll. Thanks, Rpeh! Either Obama or Romney will lead us to the Hunger Games. Your job: decide which one! Phiwum (talk) 13:29, 23 August 2012 (UTC)
Let's game the poll and see how long it stays up there. --PsyGremlinRunāt! 13:43, 23 August 2012 (UTC)
Polls like that remind me off how deeply screwed up his world view is. "I don't like Obama because I think he'll sacrifice children for his own amusement. Since you like Obama, you must think that Romney will sacrifice children for his own amusement." Where's the place for a guy, like me, who doesn't really want Romney to be president, but thinks that if he gets elected, he'll do his best to make the country better, and America after a Romney administration will likely be pretty similiar to America before a Romney administration.
You know, Ter, you'd be less insufferable if you'd stop thinking that everyone who has any minor disagreement with you is Hitler, and that they think the same about you. Carlaugust (talk) 17:55, 23 August 2012 (UTC)

Professor Values? What Professor Values?[edit]

I got a smile looking at the top of the CP home page today, where Andy proudly cites that Professors announce their conclusion that Obama will lose by a landslide based on a computer model. It's an odd choice of words when he could have used any number of alternative descriptions. --DinsdaleP (talk) 18:09, 23 August 2012 (UTC)

And translated that means...[edit]

... "conservatives constantly need to be told what to think." --K. (talk) 14:28, 22 August 2012 (UTC)

Not that I particularly disagree with the sentiment, but isn't it just because it's election season and there's a huge glut of "kill the Kenyan usurper" themed screeds from the usual suspects? You generally expect new books to outsell older ones. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 14:35, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
The Right-Wing doesn't believe in libraries, of course, so they have to buy all their books instead of mooch off the system. --TheLateGatsby (talk) 14:40, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
I mean, with these deals from WND.com, you'd be crazy not to buy all these books on massive conspiracy theories. Occasionaluse (talk) 14:51, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
That's the thing - the liberal books used as examples are things like "The People's History of America" as opposed to the kind of crap that WND sells. Likewise, these sort of conservative books, based on hate, lies, fear and superstition are like the tabloids, which also sell well. Not only that, but people like Corsi and Coulter buy up copies of their books, to boost sales - these books are then distributed for free. Corsi's birth certificate book was #1 on Amazon, based on advance sales, and then vanished from view. And yes, conservatives need to be told how to think and how outraged they need to be. --PsyGremlinZungumza! 14:54, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
Can you not make an article about that? It would seem totally on mission. Redchuck.gif ГенгисRationalWiki GOLD memberModerator 21:22, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
I thought Andy was jumping for joy every time a bookstore closed down?Stick Boy (talk) 02:21, 24 August 2012 (UTC)