Conservapedia talk:What is going on at CP?/Archive136

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First DC, now Maine[edit]

Poor Andy. I think his head may explode. Maine Governor has decided that Civil Unions are *not* "equal", and he will press for full gay marriage in Maine. And lost religious bigots everywhere are yelling and screaming. Watch 1/2 of DOMA fall within months, by the way, as Scalia performs some of the most amazing feats of contortion to some how justify the Federal Government *defining* marriage, despite his long standing support of "State's Rights". heheh--Sun mowse.pngEn attendant Godot"«Poetry involves the mysteries of the irrational perceived through rational words. V.Nabokov» 17:45, 6 May 2009 (UTC)

To quote something I heard on NPR's Wait Wait Don't Tell Me a while back, imagine that, in 1989, someone came up to you and said, "in the year 2009, gay people will get married in Iowa!" Your response probably would have been, "yeah, sure... right after we elect a black guy President." MDB 11:06, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Patriot poster1.jpg

Homeschooler vs Patriot Act[edit]

Wonder whether conservapedia will cover this: homeschooled kid hauled away by 10 armed FBI agent under the patriot act(how do I embed youtube? ¯\(º_o)/¯ ). If they do, I bet the Patriot Act suddenly turned into a communist rule under Obama. In all fairness though, the son does look like a douche.

Extra lulz: The mom said that someone stole her son's IP address and made crank calls to the internet. lolwut? --GTac 18:31, 6 May 2009 (UTC)

Is this CP's first "win"? Redchuck.gif ГенгисIs the Pope a Catholic? 18:33, 6 May 2009 (UTC)
I must have missed the bit about him being a homeschooler do you have further info? Also his mother is obviously an atheistic liberal as she doesn't believe in guns. Redchuck.gif Генгисpillaging 18:41, 6 May 2009 (UTC)
Hmm. I suppose it is technically possible for someone to have spoofed his IP address then made the threats - but why go to that trouble? Using a proxy service would be far easier. Personally, I rather suspect the son did make the threats, but denied that to his mom. However, FBI agents using the Patriot Act to cart away a 16-year-old for mouthing off on the internet is a tad excessive, to make a rather large understatement. Zmidponk 18:55, 6 May 2009 (UTC)

On homeschooling - [1] though thats a blog, so take of it what you will. [2] is from Associated Content, which looks a bit more reliable (like an actual news article). [3] Worldnet daily leads with the homeschooled statement. --Shagie 19:01, 6 May 2009 (UTC)

I already found the homsechooling stuff at Pro Libertate and note that he's also a Methodist. In light of this I would say he's probably guilty as charged. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 19:14, 6 May 2009 (UTC)
Maybe put it on WIGO World if CP wants to have nothing to do with it? Thieh 22:15, 6 May 2009 (UTC)

I'm going to pull the handbrake:

The boy’s mother, Annette Lundeby, has even acknowledged in interviews that her son has been formally charged, has a court-appointed attorney, and has already made several appearances in front of a judge. No military tribunals here. On Alex Jones, Lundeby seemed to more-or-less admit that the USA PATRIOT connection was something she dreamed up on her own.

I haven't looked deeper into this (because it's fucking late), but maybe people can work from here before we all just repeat Patriot Act claims. --Sid 01:23, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

I like the Westworld pirate... ħumanUser talk:Human 01:25, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Courtesy of the ACLU. Redchuck.gif ГенгисRationalWiki GOLD member 06:44, 7 May 2009 (UTC)


CP is turning into a home for monomaniacs:

That flight
Alger Hiss

and now:

Ayn Rand

Any others? ToastToastand marmite 23:56, 6 May 2009 (UTC)

Daniel1212, homosexual misinterpretation. Also, am I the only one who finds Terry's obsession with Atlas Shrugged hilarious? He actually claims that it's a well written piece of lit, not an ungodly trainwreck of flat characters, poor writing, and all-round silliness. PubliusTalk 00:17, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
How could you possibly forget  K e n  D o l l 's fascination with teh gheyz? Shame. The Emperor Kneel before Zod! 00:18, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Thank goat for Ed! Vulpius 00:28, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
BO's Birth Certificate is a fake, Obama is a secret Muslim born in Kenya

Mega 01:09, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

I think Andy's singular obsession is a lot wider than this. The "OBAMA IS A MUSLIM!" thing was just one of his numerous fads, kinda like his obsessions with Lenski, Dawkins, that Viking dude who discredited Christianity by creating a settlement in the US before Columbus, etc. etc. etc. --Sid 01:27, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Librulz! ħumanUser talk:Human 02:24, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

without prejudice?[edit]

"(Block log); 20:20 . . TK (Talk | contribs) blocked Scorpion (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (account creation disabled, e-mail blocked) (Unused account with no edits for several months (removed without prejudice))" The guy can't access his present account, can't create a new a/c and can't email & it's still "without prejudice"? ToastToastand marmite 01:59, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

What is with blocking unused accounts? What can it possibly accomplish? PubliusTalk 02:25, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
That is a good question. ToastToastand marmite 02:40, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Pretty simple, really. With fewer and fewer editors, TK's gotta block somebody. Z3rotalk 03:54, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
It's preemptive. The probably see it as a security concern, having tons of unused accounts with presumably stupid-simple passwords is just inviting a security breach (even if there is nothing to really secure). Neveruse513 13:25, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

Andy saying something good about Ron Paul?[edit]

Did Andy just say something good about someone who is not a social conservative? While Paul's foreign policy was stupid his domestic policy (i.e. if it's not in the Constitution the Fed doesn't do it) was great and against everything Andy stands for since you can't ban gay marriage (the Constitution just says the states have to honor contract made in other states) and you can't ban abortion (the Constitution doesn't talk about kids or pregnant ladies at all)--BoredCPer 02:47, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

"the Constitution just says the states have to honor contract made in other states"? Then what the hell is DOMA? Unless, then, somehow people get away with saying "Marriage is not a form of contract under any circumstances". Thieh 03:19, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Congress can pass unconstitutional laws - it takes a SCOTUS case to get them declared as such and nullified, though. ħumanUser talk:Human 03:46, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
And, as I understand it, you can't challenge the law unless you have standing. So you can't challenge DOMA unless your marriage isn't recognized by another state. Which means you have to have a marriage in the first place - a civil union wouldn't give you standing. That said, there is a current challenge to DOMA making its way through the courts. I believe it's challenging the federal benefits to federal employees in legal gay marriages. --Too tired to log in 04:33, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
And to add another twist, if the "State" yields in a lower court (refusing to appeal), it doesn't get SCOTUS testing. States often (?) do this to maintain unconstitutional laws, as long as they can get away with it, anyway. ħumanUser talk:Human 05:16, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

Librul Textbook Errors[edit]

Could someone point me to somewhere that explains what the Fox News talking head was trying to say? Heinkel Embryos? DNA and tree of life? Jorge 04:59, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

Hey, idiot, learn how to spell Haeckel and maybe there'll be a handy WP article! Jorge 05:28, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Um, yeah, thanks for saving me the trouble of working the phrasing ;) ħumanUser talk:Human 09:10, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Casey LuskinIdiot savant and others like him use Haeckel's embryos as proof that evolution is being taught with errors. Haeckel's embryos aren't fraudulent, but they are misrepresentations; they're drawings made over a century ago of embryos as seen through a microscope, and exaggerated so that the embryos look more similar than they are. These days, textbook editors now use real scanned imagery of embryos in the different stages to show that they are still similar, just not as cleanly similar as Haeckel made them out to be.
Luskin's also part of the Discovery Institute. When he says they don't want creationism taught in schools, he's lying through his teeth. He and his organization want Intelligent Design taught in schools, which is indeed creationism.--Irrational Atheist 11:35, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
The tree of life bullshit is probably an attack on Linnaean taxonomy, which is still widely used (as opposed to phylogenetic taxonomy). With my limited understanding, I'd say Linnaean taxonomy is wrong like Newton's law of gravitation is wrong. But scientists do say sensational things about Linnaean taxonomy being turned on it's head, but they're changes high schoolers probably wouldn't get close to understanding. Neveruse513 13:23, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Scientist: The 'Tree of Life' is a completely inadequate model because everything is too neat and linear. It's like trying to apply Newton's approximations on a quantum level.
Discovery Institute: A scientist has told us the 'Tree of Life' is "completely inadequate". As you know, this tree is the crux of all evolutionary theory and the entire hypothesis is now in shambles.Shangrala 14:00, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
This video is ridiculous. Does Fox even pretend to be non-partisan even more? The idea of letting a crank from the Discovery Institute speak unopposed is absurd. I love the multiple lies and distortions: ID goons aren't pushing creationism. Lie. Cdesign proponentsists, anyone? ID goons don't oppose teaching evolution. Lie. Darwin didn't know about HGT and work it into his tree of life, and thus evolution is disproven. Distortion. Corry 15:12, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Fox News hasn't pretended to be "non-partisan" since...what? Midway through Clinton's FIRST term? --Gulik 18:38, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Uh, Fair and Balanced? We Report, You Decide? Bil08 20:09, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Holy shit this is funny...New Scientist calls out the cretards grasping at straws. From the article Luskin cites in his Faux News interview ("Darwin was Wrong"): "As we celebrate the 200th anniversary of Darwin's birth, we await a third revolution that will see biology changed and strengthened. None of this should give succour to creationists, whose blinkered universe is doubtless already buzzing with the news that "New Scientist has announced Darwin was wrong". Expect to find excerpts ripped out of context and presented as evidence that biologists are deserting the theory of evolution en masse. They are not." Haha. — Unsigned, by: Neveruse513 / talk / contribs 03:39, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

 K e n  D o l l  is affecting our little Jinx hi Jinx![edit]

I see Jinx hi Jinx! has caught that gay obsession bug. Such a shame, he was a nice boy.... Not really. Hey Oncoming Storm, maybe you can talk to him, send a card or something from all of us. Bring a receipt and we'll pay you back. SirChuckBCall the FBI 06:13, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

Chuck, my checkuser radar indicates that OS is TK. (OS hasn't got Jason's characteristic foul mouth.) Also Jinx hi Jinx!'s edit was actually just back to the way he originally wrote the article. Redchuck.gif ГенгисIs the Pope a Catholic? 06:42, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
I'm pretty sure you're 100% correct on both counts, but it's still preseason and I'm trying to warm up before our first exhibition and I just like messing with Not Jinx Hi NOT Jinx! Oncoming Storm SirChuckBCall the FBI 06:57, 7 May 2009 (UTC)


Can someone with a better knowledge of the US education system explain the significance of this edit by little Phy? Redchuck.gif ГенгисYou have the right to be offended; and I have the right to offend you. 08:58, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

Assume she's been accepted for Princeton with a forecast graduation date of 2013? ToastToastand marmite 09:13, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
EC She's going to Princeton, whether on her own skills or Grandmommy's name. Class of 2013 means she is enrolled this coming fall, 2009. Good for her, and I hope she makes it on her own without the endless Sorority exam and essay files, and "gee did you see her last name". Fuck. We saw her idiotic edits to something on CP lately. She's just the female version of GWB. I'm glad our friend Kettleticket is free of her "feminine" clutches. ħumanUser talk:Human 09:16, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Also, it's her Daddy's alma mater (engineering). As long as you can pay, and do OK on the SATs, it's incredibly easy to get into your parents' college. It's called being a "legacy". ħumanUser talk:Human 09:18, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
As an aside, some years ago, when California was debating getting rid of all race-based preferences in higher education admissions, an affirmative action supporter in the legislature said to an affirmative action opponent, "fine, I'll support getting rid of race based preferences... as long as we also get rid of legacy admissions." The AA opponent, unsurprisingly, did not agree. MDB 11:43, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
(EC)That's what I thought, but considered the presumption of a graduation date to be rather premature. BTW I never think of my own graduation (from a mere red-brick) as being "the class of '73". Redchuck.gif ГенгисYou have the right to be offended; and I have the right to offend you. 09:32, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Isn't it funny that Andy's all supportive of homskolling, and kids going to such prestigious institutions as Liberty University and Grove City College. However, his own kids go to real schools and attend horrid liberal universities where they'll be taught by evil professor values inflicted lib'ruls? --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 09:22, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Yes. ħumanUser talk:Human 09:27, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
I was rather hoping that Phyllis might have been the one going to Wheaton. Redchuck.gif ГенгисRationalWiki GOLD member 09:32, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Unfamiliar with the geography: is it commuting distance from home? ToastToastand marmite 09:40, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Can someone explain to me the Ivy League? I know they're supposed to be good, but here in the UK there's a perception that as long as you're rich enough and not too stupid you can get into any of them (not sure whether we think that about Harvard, though). I know they're supposed to be Oxbridge level (or at least Harvard and Yale are) but are they actually? Also, I thought Princeton would be Addison. EddyP 10:00, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Dunno who called her pretty. Facebook would disagree - poor kid looks like Andy in drag. (and before eveybody moans - she's an admin on the CP group there, so public domain and fair use, yada yada yada). --PsyGremlinWhut? 10:16, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
A facebook group? Should I join? EddyP 10:24, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Sorry, I'm going to moan anyway. She's presumably a high schooler -- jokes about her appearance are inappropriate. MDB 11:43, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Seconded. Ajkgordon 11:51, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Would we have judged her by her looks if she had been male? Thirded. Silver Sloth 12:08, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
I'll judge her for that hideous gown. Hello! Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svgUser:Nutty Roux/sigtalk 12:23, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
I'll pass on the fashion critique, something I know nothing about, but "Andy in drag"? Not at all. She's a fine looking young lady. And as an old lech that is something I do know about. 13:43, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Anyone care to answer my question about the Ivy League above? -_- EddyP 12:25, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Ivy League refers to a football conference in the Northeast comprised of I think 8 or 10 private colleges and universities. They're all fabulous schools, whatever their reputations. I don't think it's at all true that you can get into them if you're rich and not too stupid. Legacy may count, but admissions are otherwise among the most highly competitive in the US. Check the US News and World Report stats for these schools - they typically accept around 10% of applicants. Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svgUser:Nutty Roux/sigtalk 13:00, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Admittance requires high standardized test scores, as well as superb grades in high school. A little money doesn't hurt, though. Aboriginal Noise Oh, you want to hit people with garbage cans? 13:02, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
A homskollar with superb grades? No way! Neveruse513 13:10, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Thanks for the answers. I only just realized they were all in the northeast of America. I checked on wikipedia, and apparently 'legacy' applicants receive an average of 160 virtual extra SAT points. Though blacks apparently get 250 virtual extra SAT points, which surprised me.
Do you think Addison could be Wheaton? That would explain Andy's rewrite of the article (not sure if he would do it for any other student, except perhaps DuncanB). EddyP 13:16, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Anyone ever wonder if the kids sound like Muppet characters too? Neveruse513 13:28, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

The Ivy League is certainly very competitive, but there are plenty of programs that rival or even surpass them. Take MIT, Cal Tech, et. al. for science and engineering, for example. And regarding legacy admissions, there are legacy admissions and there are legacy admissions. These are the schools where the really rich blue bloods go, regardless of how thick they are. Take a look at GWB getting into Yale and Harvard Business school. Daddy and Granddaddy were rich and politically important, so he didn't become a quickiemart attendant as befitting his level of aptitude.

And regarding being presumptuous about when she will graduate, that's not presumption at all in the US. In the US, and surely many other places, people are identified with their graduating class, even on their first day. Corry 15:34, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

The prestige of a school is also related to the field of study. For instance, I did a little bit of Master's Degree work at Johns Hopkins. Sounds impressive, right? Well, its impressive if I was attending the medical school. But I was attending the engineering school which, while not a bad school, isn't on the par of the med school. (And incidentally, the AssFly once worked as an engineer at the Hopkins Applied Physics Lab, where I took some classes.) MDB 15:54, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Addition to the above- I agree with not taking potshots at the kids. It's cruel and unnecessary. Corry 17:00, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

About referring to the graduation year as "presumption" - I too am a graduate of the Princeton engineering department. We refer to all classes by their years, so this fall we'll matriculate the Class of 2013. And Princeton does tend to be somewhat liberal, so I have no doubt that Phyllis will be exposed to a lot of diverse thinking. She does seem to be a clever gal - she was making good points on the macroevolution debate on CP until someone deleted them. - Cuckoo 20:09, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

Poor, poor  K e n  D o l l [edit]

 K e n  D o l l 's fellow fetishist VenomFangX is less popular these days. Turns out the man living with his folks while spreading the word of his ministries has been grounded. A Youtube user has documented the fraud of VenomFangX through PayPal. Turns out the twerp was soliciting donations to buy himself happiness by promising to donate a portion of the funds to the Sick Kids Foundation. The foundation got very little of those funds, apparently. VenomFangX's parents shut down his site. PayPal turned over evidence to the authorities in VenomFangX's jurisdiction. He's had his Youtube account closed only to reopen it and start all over.
 K e n  D o l l  can really pick 'em, can't he? Now CP will need to start their EPIC WINZ on Youtube from scratch. --Irrational Atheist 13:33, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

HOLY FUCK I'm a big youtube junkie and this is fucking big news. Wow. #1 Christian youtuber busted. He was always called it's so much more appropriate. Neveruse513 13:35, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Huh, I haven't been keeping up on my youtube drama obviously. Poor ol' VenomFangX, how will he fill his days without being able to parrot Kent Hovind on camera? Edited to add: Hey, wait. Isn't he over 20, what the fuck do his parents have to do with any idiot views he has, or what crap he chooses to put on his website?

Is he some actually permanant manchild? --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 14:23, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

His parents are super-loaded, so I don't think much is required of him. Apparently, they're secular jewz and VFX went off the deep end of Christianity a few years back. He can't hold a job because he can't stop evangelizing. He can't get a church job because his views are so narrow (and in many cases rejected by Christians at large Hovind style). Street preaching was his only hope. Too bad he tried to scam everyone.'s absolutely perfect. Neveruse513 14:48, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Please say this is true and you're not just speculating. 21:32, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
I hope this makes the CP News Section; it will right? Won't it? Pretty please? Their idiocy am growing rapidly.Jimaginator 14:38, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
This is a sad story]. Ajkgordon 14:41, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Wow. I had no idea. Sad indeed. Jimaginator 15:03, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
I was just searching CP for all mentions of "venomfangx" and could find none - has the record been sanitized already, or do I just need more coffee? --SpinyNorman 16:49, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
It was the magical Youtube connection  K e n  D o l l  had been presenting that would make CP's evolution article explode online. --Irrational Atheist 16:59, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
this prick is much more annoying than VenomGuyWhatever. At least Venomfang didn't think he was king fucking solomon. User:Mei
I still revel in the fact that youtube's #1 Christian (literally) has now been booted. Neveruse513 20:25, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Do you want me to invite you to the schadenfreude party? User:Mei
Are you familiar with VFX? He was fine until he committed fraud. I don't know if anyone felt bed for ol' Hovind. But yeah, you can come to the party, just leave your conscious at home. Neveruse513 20:50, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
I didn't watch him that much, but I don't remember him being "fine". My conscious? Conscience? is puzzled
Why would any Christian call himself "VenomFangX"? That is pretty much shouting, "I AM A SERPENT!" Mjollnir.svgListenerXTalkerX 02:05, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
Why would a Christian post pictures of bulls chasing and tossing human beings through the air to show that the Christian Message is getting stronger? Why would a Christian post pictures of deer head trophies and equate them with atheists? Some people just have to (over-)compensate for whatever they lack, so they project an aggressive image. --Sid 10:37, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
I completely missed that scam! I did know how before that he was forced to apologize to Thunderf00t, the guy who makes awesome youtubes on evolution. Apparently VenomFangX had used deceit to spam votes and such on his youtubes and was find out when he stupidly admit it in an E-mail, not knowing that it's actually against youtube's policy and illegal. The result was this awesome youtube where he is forced to admit everything he did and apologize for it, which almost makes him cry delicious tears.
I must say though, VenomFangX is one of my favorite creationists. Everything about him is so unlikeable. His smugness, ignorance, arguing method, spoiled attitude, I even dislike his very face. This makes it so awesome when he fails time and time again. --GTac 12:06, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

archiving the wigos[edit]

The last times, Tmtoulouse, Toast and Javascap have archived the wigos. The archive Feb 2009 still allows for voting, which seems to be undesirable - and isn't possible at the older archives. Mar 2009 should be put to rest, and therefore my questions:

  • can we (i.e., someone) turn voting off for Feb 2009?
  • are there pitfalls when archiving the wigos?

Thanks, larronsicut fur in nocte 14:01, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

Anybody out there? Well, when looking for some missing wigos, I found the archive for March - it just had a wrong name.... larronsicut fur in nocte 18:10, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
So, thanks BON! vote=closed has to be added to the items. BTW, why doesn't 0903 show up? BON? larronsicut fur in nocte 21:03, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
I'm not the BON that did whatever had been done, but I did "solve" the missing 0903 thing: It was a caching thing. The DPL code is set to enable caching (which makes sense in this case with only once-per-month changes to the set), so I did an "&action=purge" on the archive list to bypass it once. The now newly cached version is up to speed again. --Sid 21:29, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Great, vielen Dank! larronsicut fur in nocte 21:32, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Gern geschehen. :P --Sid 22:26, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Yes, I added the caching to the archive dpl on this page. WIGO CP takes a long time to parse, and it's purged whenever you vote anyway, so it isn't a problem. Since Pi has replaced the dpl with a single link to an archive list to make Capturebot work, this won't be a problem any more (the archive list page doesn't have to be cached), but please keep anything that disables caching (randomselect, uncached dpl etc.) off this page. --  Nx/talk  12:23, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Jpatt, WP and Journalists[edit]

While WP is about a billion times better resource than CP is, Jpatt's post has a pretty large kernel of truth. Just as you shouldn't cite WP in a scientific manuscript, journalists shouldn't be relying on WP for their fact checking. It's lazy and prone to hoaxes, not to mention honest mistakes on the part of WPians. Corry 18:03, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

What I find funny is that it was reverted. The motive of the conservative media here is to undermine WP, which no one admits is perfect, but it's still pretty fucking good as evidenced by the handling of the article. Neveruse513 18:06, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

Question (trivial)[edit]

Is the link to CP article(s) in the format [Address Text] or the format [[CP:Name&oldid=number|Text]] preferred in WIGO:CP? K61824"6+18=24" 18:44, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

[[CP:Name&oldid=number|Text]] is incorrect, if it works, it's only because of incorrectly configured software, and it might not work in the future. Also, Capturebot can only capture external links in the form of [Address Text]. --  Nx/talk  18:54, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Got it. Thanks. ThiehZOYG I edit like Kenservative! 22:07, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

Oh, this could be fun to watch...[edit]

New CP user TheBluejay comes out as gay on one of CP's innumerable homosexuality pages. MDB 22:20, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

Start the inevitable banwatch... --SpinyNorman 23:00, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Yep. Post is gone, and so is TheBluejay Karajou shows his remarkable empathy once more. Junggai 23:09, 7 May 2009 (UTC).
How is this news?--Nate River 01:49, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
Actually someone actually come out of the closet in CP? ThiehEd Poor types in Chinese? 01:58, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
I'm starting to view the Debate pages on CP as a sort of venus fly trap. So many recent examples of people taking positions Karajou and Jpatt don't like, which are summarily reverted, and then the banhammer. So much for the relevant CP commandments and the exhortation that "Your opinion is welcome!" on CP debate pages. It's more than a little sad for those homeskullers that they'll never interact with a real life homo. But then I doubt even they read CP. It's probably pretty much us and the peanut gallery over there. Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svgUser:Nutty Roux/sigtalk 02:04, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
Hunched over my computer trying to crank out a really complicated brief in a really complicated case, I have to say this made my evening: "There isn't a cure for stupid, but we can remove it just the same." Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svgUser:Nutty Roux/sigtalk 02:07, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

One to add to the UK's banned list:[edit]

" ...Don't you guys ever get outside? I am in the UK twice a year, at least, and I shouldn't think you'd run out of places there to argue your liberal/socialist POV. --₮K/Admin/Talk 18:28, 7 May 2009 (EDT) " ([4]) As a member of CP (which isn't isolationist at all!) , I think he's got a cheek asking if we ever get outside! ToastToastand marmite 22:34, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

I go outside once a week, whether I want to or not. --Kels 02:01, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
You might want to see a medic about that, Kels. ToastToastand marmite 02:06, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
Yes, MOM. Next you'll be wanting me to bathe! --Kels 02:12, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
Suspect it's the Atlantic between us, but to "go" outside could be interpreted as expel bodily waste in the open air, and to do it "whether I want to or not" sounds like a problem that should be attended to. ToastToastand marmite 02:17, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
Oh dear, that does sound bad. No, I think leaving bodily waste in a public place is more something Ed would do. --Kels 02:29, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
I wish for TK to be added to the undesirables list along with Michael Savage. I wish it I wish it I wish it! Click. Click. Click. Uhhhh. Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svgUser:Nutty Roux/sigtalk 02:05, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Articles and Editors in April 2009[edit]

For a quick comparison:

a Storehouse of Knowledge Conservapedia RationalWiki

larronsicut fur in nocte 13:26, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Uh oh, looks like my CP sock is an outlier! Jorge 13:53, 8 May 2009 (UTC)


Seriously, now I understand the people who think Andy might be the deepest cover parodist of them all. He's citing Roy Edroso as a blogger who benefitted by Conservapedia? Seriously? Has he ever read Edroso before? --Kels 14:42, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

If it ever comes out that Assfly is a parodist, I swear I will build a monument so tall that the Christian god will have to strike it down for fear of me reaching heaven. Neveruse513 17:33, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Moar Hitler[edit]

It's bad enough the student suggested it in the first place, but Andy's endorsement of Hitler literally having a pact with Satan makes me raise my eyebrows about two feet straight up. Seriously, Andy? Is that your final answer? --Kels 20:10, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Are you surprised that a biblical fundamentalist wouldn't believe that? Totnesmartin 20:20, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
By journal does he mean the long discredited Hitler diaries hoax? I can't say I've ever read them, but I can't imagine Hitler ever claimed to have made a pact with the devil. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 20:47, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
I liked answer 4. ħumanUser talk:Human 20:51, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
"Yo, bitch. You're even more batshit crazy than me! 100/100!" --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 20:55, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
Andy probably believes Satan is a man with horns and a red jumpsuit, too. --Kels 20:57, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
For those of an English persuasion (and with an interest in the beautiful game) I'll just point out the red jumpsuit. It's always red, isn't it? Ok, occasionally black, but mostly red. And never, ever, ever, blue. I'm just pointing it out. Red = evil. Blue = good. Simple. Toffeeman 21:21, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
Unless of course we're talking about Republicans. How did the GOP ever let blue become the colour of the Democratic party rather than the commie pinko red (My choice of colour for curtains!) I will never understand. Vulpius 23:04, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
Oh AndyBaby-- Hitler said: "My feeling as a Christian points me to my Lord and Savior as a fighter." Hitler, speech, April 12 1922, published in 'My New Order.' Not sure who it was a pact with... Jimaginator 21:03, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
I'm on Andy's side, if anyone has ever made a pact with Satan, metaphorical or otherwise, it was teh Führer; besides Andy should else does a site like CP get 80 million views? Jorgeis still sorry for whatever he did 21:16, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
Clickbots, my dear. Never attribute to the supernatural what can be adequately explained by malice. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 21:23, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
No, no, no. Flames and pointy sticks might have been all the rage downstairs in the old days, but nowadays Hell makes sinners read CP as punishment. Totnesmartin 21:25, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
So Andy's a subcontractor? --Kels 22:04, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
Conservapedia Fund Inc., a wholly owned subsidiary of Hell Enterprises PLC. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 22:08, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
Andy, if you believe that, I'll help you find the Lost Ark.--Nate River 23:35, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

13 days till I pick the model answers due to the lack of edit from Assfly. K61824CP≠Child Porn? 02:27, 9 May 2009 (UTC)

Can someone elaborate on the latest mystery?[edit]

It seems to have great potential.

Did the space program really develop teflon? — Unsigned, by: Neveruse513 / talk / contribs 18:18, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

NASA said they didn't, why are they being so deceitful? — Unsigned, by: Neveruse513 / talk / contribs 18:20, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Because they're dirty liberals, that's why. Z3rotalk 18:34, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
This is actually getting to me...what the fuck is Andy thinking? Is there anyone, anywhere that disputes that Teflon was invented by DuPont? Does Andy think NASA really invented it? Why??? Where did he get this idea? I can't find anything. This is making me ask more than ever...Is Andy really totally fucking insane? — Unsigned, by: Neveruse513 / talk / contribs 18:37, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
Not insane, just out-of-date. It used to be commonly believed that NASA invented teflon, just as it was commonly believed that Columbus was the first european to cross the Atlantic. this just adds to my belief that andy is spouting whatever he picked up at school. Totnesmartin 18:53, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
Wow, I just read the conversation about the Gunpowder Plot, which he entirely hinges on misinterpreting one word in the primary reference for his "history" lectures. My head hurts. --Kels 18:41, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
All of his "mysteries" are based on the simple proposition that these are things to which Andy's definitive answer is "it's a mystery." Solutions are not wanted. At least people seem to get banned less from providing information to the contrary. Andy also might be gathering his view on Teflon from FWDs that he gets from his mom. -Lardashe
Gawd, it started somewhere (WHL?), with someone pointing out that Teflon predates the formation of NASA by twenty years. Why on earth Andy didn't just look it up and correct it is anyone's guess. ħumanUser talk:Human 19:05, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
Cause Teflon isn't in the dictionary he uses? How else shoudl he know it ever existed?--Sun mowse.pngEn attendant Godot"«Poetry involves the mysteries of the irrational perceived through rational words. V.Nabokov» 19:11, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
Jesus Christ, this takes literally 10 seconds to find on the web. Is this the type of exemplary scholarship we should expect from a history teacher? NetharianCubicles are prisons! 02:43, 9 May 2009 (UTC)

Les regrets[edit]

ROTFLMBFAO!!! I was reading the link above, about teflon, and found the "greatest mysteries of the world" happened to include the "mystery" of when "regret" become self-centered. I mean, let's set aside that this isn't a mystery, since we can look at it's use and document specifically when change occurred... but that it's a *great* mystery?????? GREAT? I mean, what makes life, alive? How did the guide lines in Mexico work. How exactly do you get all those huge rocks that build the pyramid onto the top of the pyramid... but the word "regret?"--Sun mowse.pngEn attendant Godot"«Poetry involves the mysteries of the irrational perceived through rational words. V.Nabokov» 19:02, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Well, I can't answer the others, but the mystery of the pyramids is easy, Red Dwarf has already provided the answer: "They had massive whips, Rimmer. Massive, massive whips."-- 19:10, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
Heh. Actually, I've watched some pretty amazing shows with modern archeologists trying to recreate how some of these ancient works were built. None are trying to buy into the "aliens did it" theory, but to this day, there are many "mysteries" of ancient stone work that simply confound our modern scholars.  :D By the way, I was reading the etymology of regret, and like everythign else andy does, he based his entire argument on *one* reading out of webster, that said "old french for: to cry, to mourn", and decided the word had changed. rolls eyes.--Sun mowse.pngEn attendant Godot"«Poetry involves the mysteries of the irrational perceived through rational words. V.Nabokov» 19:15, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
"Greatest Mysteries of the World" would better be titled "a collection of crackpot conspiracy theories and misunderstandings". However, I for one love it for it's lulz. Silver Sloth 19:19, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
Incidentally, the Online Etymology Dictionary dates regret to 1300 and says it's from the old French regreter "long after, bewail, lament someone's death" - so the answer is probably never. Silver Sloth 19:37, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
"Would there be sin if God had never made Woman? ". Fall down nods knowingly in Andy's direction. Taytopacket 19:41, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

I feel certain that we could do a mini side-by side on his "mysteries". Couldn't we? ToastToastand marmite 19:50, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

the pryramids were poured concrete at least near the top. They carried buckets of mix up the sides and poured them into a wooden mold. Either that or magnetic levitation. The interwebs seem conflicted Hamster 19:57, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
Looking through the list, there are only a couple that are really very mysterious, or even worth asking. The pyramids still have some details that haven't been worked out, although we have a general idea these days. The Sphinx one is interesting when it comes to "why". Maybe the Tunguska although that seems more or less settled too. Everything else is either easily answered like the Teflon one, nonsense like the one about sin and women, or a complete waste of time, like almost anything Andy writes. --Kels 20:02, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
Maybe the answer to the question of why the Sphinx, is "why not?".-- 21:56, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
Egypt's answer to the age old question: "What do you get for the god-king who has everything?" This of course was before the invention of DVD box sets. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 22:04, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
So in an alternate history, archeologists would be debating over why they made the third season of Heroes? --Kels 22:09, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
Heroes in hieroglyphs. The thought has some appeal.-- 00:17, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
I always thought the Sphinx was A, a wonderful way to show off the wealth and ability of the country responsible and B, representative of the Greek Legends, where the Sphinx killed all those unable to answer her question. Oh, and it was supposed to protect the Pharohs Tombs or something like that. SirChuckBCall the FBI 07:44, 9 May 2009 (UTC)


Sorry Wesley, but TK won't fall for this. You'll have to try harder than that to get your devious sock unblocked so you can continue your subversive categorising. EddyP 19:43, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Abusing multiple accounts is just more proof that he's a liberal troll. — Unsigned, by: Neveruse513 / talk / contribs 19:58, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
I don't see how Wesley would even think TK would fall for that- it's his first edit. And his e-mail isn't disabled. --Prim arthropleura.jpg 20:03, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

This is what I don't get. Lauttamus and I have had edit conflicts before, which would mean that we are at two separate IPs. Assuming we use the same provider, which covers most of Western PA and parts of Ohio and West Virginia, TK has essentially blocked all Comcast users in the applicable area. Furthermore, he created his account well before I did, so how could hebe a sock of me? If anything it would be in reverse. Don't you think? I did send JL an email via aSK to let him know what was up, obviously because our email is in fact blocked at CP. I also emailed TK (I had his email address from previous correspondence) and he certainly didn't seem to believe me. Well, to hell with it. I give up. Sorry JLauttamus, wherever you are. Aboriginal Noise Oh, you want to hit people with garbage cans? 21:34, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Yet another editor chased off. If memory serves, JL generally spent his time contributing to the actual articles in a non-ridiculous manner. CP continues to implode. Corry 03:59, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
Yeah, generally he edited the biology articles. And he did write some sports-type pages as well. Aboriginal Noise Oh, you want to hit people with garbage cans? 05:02, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
He is now unblocked. Glad to see it! Aboriginal Noise Oh, you want to hit people with garbage cans? 21:58, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
On double secret probation, I bet. --Kels 22:23, 9 May 2009 (UTC)

Ed Poor shows his geographic expertise[edit]

From the man who renamed North Korea - Taiwan is an island, not a country. Fucking moron. Errrrrrr, hmmm my mistake. Ace McWickedDisco Jesus 22:14, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Speaking of Creepy Ed, oh to be an attendee at that talk. --Kels 22:36, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
Hopefully it will end up on teh utoobz? ħumanUser talk:Human 23:03, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
""The limits of neutrality"? Hmmmm, I'll take a wild stab and say between 34 and 66. You know when you've gone too far, you lose all those funky Druid spells.-- 00:20, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
Since when did Ed Poor learned how to type in Chinese (He is the only editor)? Both Simplified and Traditional? Or is it another blatant plagiarism attempt? ThiehInsomnia? Masturbate till you pass out 02:53, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
Eh, he probably copied it from wikipedia. ħumanUser talk:Human 03:14, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
LOL. Human, stop being so sarcastic. ThiehWhat is going on? 03:19, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
Anyone know how to get those characters to display on XP Firefox? Jorge Radix Malorum Est Superbia 04:24, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
You gotta download various Asian character sets, basically. Edit: there are help pages on wikipedia to guide you. ħumanUser talk:Human 04:26, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
Thanks, human. Jorge noes teh maths 13:30, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
Is it Ed who claimed to be, if not fluent, at least capable in Korean? Given his moonishness it seems likely & he chased Jessica all over (definitely nothing to do with her being a nubile[presumably] young female) so he seems to have a thing for the Far East generally. ToastToastand marmite 13:44, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
Of course Ed is good at both Chinese (He didn't edit at all) and Korean (his only edits shown, which does not have any typed characters in Chinese or Korean). I am inclined to think it is all about Jessica "being a nubile[presumably] young female". K61824I am STILL single 14:32, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
While we are at it, seems Assfly knows how to type chinese without actually knowing chinese as well. ThiehTK = Terry Koeckritz 14:35, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
Of course! He couldn't be able to so easily judge the relative superiority of languages unless he's learned all of them, right? Junggai 16:29, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
No, no, no. Andy's system is much simpler and more effective. He judges the effectiveness of a language by his ease in understanding it. English is obviously best, as it all makes sense. Latin is also great because he can recognize it uses letters, rather than gobbledegook, he can pronounce the words, and some of them even are like English. Greek is okay, because it kind of looks like latin script, but Chinese uses crazy pictures and stuff, so it's obviously a terrible language. How can anyone possibly understand it any more than him? PubliusTalk 20:08, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
I see. That sounds then, like a good corollary to the First Schlafly Law of Relative Obscurity. Junggai 20:44, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
"English is obviously best, as it all makes sense" - I can't agree with this. Not all makes sense to Andy even in English, hence his Mysteries. Editor at CPOh, Finland! Why? 21:32, 9 May 2009 (UTC)

Ed in NY[edit]

On a side note:

Have this and this been mentioned? We rally ought to have a rep there to hear User:188's version of neutrality (i.e. Jesus C speaks true; A Schlafly speaks truer; Rev Moon speaks truest) ToastToastand marmite 15:23, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
Scheisse! Must read all of thread, apologies for bringing it up again. (What's Ames doing then) ToastToastand marmite 15:32, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
Someone should go to Ames' blog and make sure he knows about it, at least. ħumanUser talk:Human 21:24, 9 May 2009 (UTC)

CP's news items rarely make popular WIGOs[edit]

Just something I want to point out for everyone's interest. Often, a news item appears and CP weighs in with its ridiculous opinion or distortion of the facts. I can see it must be tempting to wigo them but these conservaloony reactions are to be expected, and so the wigos usually turn out to be a bit of a bore, probably because they don't really involve any CP drama (summary: wigo links CP's reaction, then links off-site news sources to show why reaction is stupid. The wigo is effectively nothing more than a debunking). Usually it's Terry Koeckritz being deliberately asinine. As a result the votes tend to either stay low or go negative. Come to think of it, it's probably just Terry Koeckritz's postings that are dull. Whenever  K e n  D o l l  or the assfly approach the main page, lulz is inevitable.

Addendum: I have no idea what I'm trying to accomplish with this post. 14:43, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

As a crusader for quality WIGOs, I endorse this post. Z3rotalk 14:54, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
"" (obviously your parents were unbelievers to give you such a pagan name), support for gun control is so prevalent among feminists that that the insight is clearly self-evident. I looked at your contributions and you list yourself as an "agnostic" here, yet 100% of your edits here have been of an atheistic nature. An agnostic, if fair-minded, should be at least 50% Bible-based and 50% atheistic-based, so it's painfully obvious that you're almost certainly a liberal who's here to push your misguided ideology rather than genuinely help anyone learn. Denying this calls into question all of your credibility on the fact that winning in Iraq deters research into gravitons. Observation and logic dictate that jaywalking is not prosecuted as much as petty shoplifting. No liberal will admit that Castro is likely dead also. I'm not interested in wasting my time with someone like you.--Aschlafly 07:59, 25 May 2019 (UTC)
I approve of Bunchanumber's message. DogP 15:43, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
This is making me think.... has anyone considered burning a sock to insert random assquotes on CP talk pages? -Lardashe
I get librul commie progressive humanist chills just thinking about it! Jimaginator 17:23, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
Makes me wonder how many people would agrue with the assquote, rather than realize it isn't real. Z3rotalk 17:27, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
What do you mean "not real"? I assumed Andru was already using an Eliza-like bot. Surely he couldn't make all those great edits and still have time to sleep could he? Jimaginator 17:31, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
You have to remember his only job is warping the minds of young children, and he only does that a few hours a day, leaving plenty of time for making up insanity. Z3rotalk 17:32, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
I was more thinking that Andy was parry rather than eliza. --Shagie 17:56, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
Parry makes more sense! I mean, Parry makes less sense and therefore makes more sense in this situation! Jimaginator 18:55, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
News-item WIGOs are not necessarily poor-quality; a large number of mine have gone above 20, a few above 40. There is one news item WIGO on the page that is at 54 (" K e n  D o l l  discovers ONE person...") and another at 69 ("PRO-TEST!"). Mjollnir.svgListenerXTalkerX 19:16, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

The fucker finally got around to it.[edit]

"TK ... deleted "User:Human" ‎ (User/Talkpage of infinitely blocked user and/or vandal: 'Crat at known vandal site)" [5]

"16:17, 9 May 2009 TK ... deleted "User talk:Human" ‎ (User/Talkpage of infinitely blocked user and/or vandal: 19:08, 18 June 2008 Ymmotrojam (Talk | contribs | block) deleted "User talk:Human)" [6]

Strangely, I am not "infinitely blocked" you idiot. [7] I'm due back in about a month... For someone who complains endlessly about "wiping out history", you're sure good at it yourself. Jackass. ħumanUser talk:Human 04:22, 10 May 2009 (UTC)


But it says you're blocked for infinity, am I missing something?

-RW/CP lurker and fan

He is blocked for six months; see here. Mjollnir.svgListenerXTalkerX 05:01, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Sorry, I pooched the third link to my blocks on CP. Sadly, I did not save my "contribs" list (hundreds of articles) from my user page. Any sysops on Cp want to dig them out and email the source wikicode to me? Is there anyone sane left over there? Did they de-sysop PJR (he rescuscitated my user page after some jerk deleted it once before...)? ħumanUser talk:Human 05:12, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
You mean this, this, and that? Quick, someone go creep the pages. ThiehTK = Terry Koeckritz 05:51, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Human, I can only imagine that TK is bored, what with his mission accomplished, and is just trying to get a rise out of you. Nothing else can explain the timing- it's not as if you just started getting active on RW. Corry 06:10, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Hehe, good point, Corry. Yeah, I think he actually ran out of things to destroy on CP, and ran across my undeleted user/talk pages. We ought to help the incompetent twerp out and tell him whatever else he hasn't memory-holed so he can finish his work. I don't give a shit really, except I forgot to copy the wiki-code of all the articles I created over there. Stuff like Fourth of July, Pledge of Allegiance, American flag... ħumanUser talk:Human 07:07, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

Thanks everyone for your help in resurrecting what the Twerp Kid deleted. It was odd that I noticed the red links in the upper right hand corner so soon after he axed them. I'll make copies for here in my copious spare time! ħumanUser talk:Human 07:24, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

And he has done it - after all, being blocked is a blockable offense:
  • 06:34, 10 May 2009 TK (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for Human (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (account creation disabled, e-mail blocked) ‎ (Abusing multiple accounts: Found socks for this blocked user, all editing from the exact same IP, not located in the Northeast, also bureaucrat at known vandal site and 12 prior blocks.)
larronsicut fur in nocte 10:37, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
That was only 15 hours later nice to see he is such an avid reader. Hi TK, how's your mum? - π 10:45, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Ooh - he's getting cocky. It was Brother Leader who dished out the original 6 month block, and now TK stomps all over it. No doubt the wires are humming as TK covers his mangy ass. How long until Jess gets blocked for "inactivity" I wonder?--PsyGremlinWhut? 11:43, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Eh, I don't think that this will lead to any major mail traffic. It'll be more along the lines of "Human is a Rat Terrorist who had thousands of socks. You surely don't want a rat 'crat causing trouble on your site..." if anything. Andy only cares about blocks of his pet sysops and homeschoolers, plus maybe the occasional suck-up. --Sid 11:53, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

"Found socks for this blocked user, all editing from the exact same IP, not located in the Northeast" The lies are always the amusing part. ħumanUser talk:Human 01:27, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

wigo stats[edit]

wigo scores

Conservapedia:Best of Conservapedia shows all the wigos since voting was introduced in July/August 2008. It allows for ordering the wigos by the score they reached, i.e. the difference of positive and negative votes. DogP and ħumanUser talk:Human were somewhat unsatisfied by the results, as there seem to be some grade inflation over the time which puts older wigos at a disadvantage. When I was asked to take a look at this, I proposed a couple of [:File:Wigo-weighted.png|weightings]] which allow for addressing the effect. The result of this simple exercise in basic stats can be found in this table.

histograms of votes and scores

But my interest in the stats of the wigos was sparked, and as nothing much happened at Conservapedia anymore, I dived in the wigo site which is perhaps the most visited on RW. Countless edits are made at it (of course, not literally countless: in fact, 6725 revisions from Jul 17, 2008 until May 8, 2009, resulting in ca. 1800 wigos). Since introducing the voting tool ( a fantastic devise, BTW, thanks!), more than 170 editors have tried to come up with a clever wigo, and some 45,000 votes were cast until Apr 2009: an average of ~31 votes per item, leading to an average score of 20.

scores vs. votes

And the community know what it likes best: There is no much fight about single wigos, great ones are unanimously hailed, while stinkers are usually only appreciated by a very few...

But who are those who try to come up with new wigos? Here is a list of those editors who contributed most of the entries. It is a little bit unfair, as it doesn't reflect the work of those, who tweaked the wigos into perfection - or made them at least eligible. Thank all of you for your great contributions!

editor initiated wigos mean score mean votes max. score min. score
Sid 155 20.32 24.24 81 -6
ListenerX 139 12.15 25.19 55 -34
Kels 108 16.01 21 118 -17
Jammy 96 19.03 27.63 72 -24
Irrationalatheist 88 13.06 23.87 92 -29
Psygremlin 58 19.91 28.85 105 -24
Ace McWicked 55 29.56 36.33 83 -25
SirChuckB 45 14.84 23.61 51 -15
Caius 43 16.93 23.12 50 -7
LArron 43 26.73 30.34 100 3
Norseman 40 24.6 27.65 78 2
Π 35 15.76 22.85 53 -13
MDB 35 26.66 33.62 80 -13
AP 30 10.34 23.86 42 -18
TheoryOfPractice 29 27.41 30.24 98 5

(complete table) larronsicut fur in nocte 10:20, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

How did you determine who created the wigo? I don't feel like I have made more than 10, I however have had to renumber a few in my time. - π 10:28, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

I wanted to put in a disclaimer: At the moment, I checked for the revision of the first occurrence of the number of a wigo, and he who made the revision owns the wigo. That's imperfect of course: those who erroneously put in a wigo number which is (much) to high, will get credit if the wigo returns afterward. And renumbering of wigos has a similar effect. So, take the table cum grano salis... larronsicut fur in nocte 10:32, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

(EC) He probably counted WIGO RWW too --  Nx/talk  10:35, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

Methodology: I looked up the revisions of Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?, i.e., pages like this one: (sample query). Then, I extracted the <wigo poll=xxxx> tags and went on from there. What's WIGO RWW? I don't think I run into it... larronsicut fur in nocte 11:05, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

Only the best wigo on the site . It is about looking at the wiki, looking at us looking at Conservapedia sulking about Wikipedia. - π 11:09, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
(EC) Fun:RationalWikiWikiWiki. I have two wigos under my name, I thought they were from WIGO RWW, but they're probably renumberings then. --  Nx/talk  11:10, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
LArron, you're a genius! I'm liking my stats: EddyP 17 28.25 35.75 127 -13 . EddyP 12:55, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
WIN FOR THEEMPEROR I have the highest mean score! The Emperor Kneel before Zod! 16:23, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Looks like I'm the big loser out of the frequent WiGOers. --Kels 16:29, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
No you don't Emperor - Highest Mean Score is Ace, who walks the contest with a massive 29 Kiwi Winner points. Nice job Larron and everyone! DogP 16:34, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Epic fail- Ace's score is 29.56, while mine is 93, three times higher. Look at the Complete list. The Emperor Kneel before Zod! 16:37, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Epic phail on you - yours is based on what sample size? Oh, right, one. Yowsa! DogP 16:42, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
So? If, when one decides to begin playing chess, and faces a 2400 ELO grandmaster and wins on time control, then you still have a ELO of 2800, even based on one game. The Emperor Kneel before Zod! 17:10, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Call me rational, but I'd consider Ace's 55 WIGO's with a score average of 29ish to be a proven track record in showing out the lulz. Outliers like your single entry are just that - a single freak result. LArron's 43 WIGO's also maintained a score average of 26ish, which is also pretty badass - AND he has not one negative score, unlike Ace. So I ask you - if Ace posted a WIGO, and you posted a WIGO, which would be more likely to entertain me? I rest my case. DogP 21:44, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
The lesson to be taken from this is that Ace is a damn funny fuck and a wonderful person to have around when in need of some good ol' fashioned belly-laughs. Ace McWickedDisco Jesus 22:25, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
I lack in the lulz! One of the lowest mean scores on the table. --Irrational Atheist 23:02, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

I find it amusing that almost 1/4 of the initiators are BONs. ħumanUser talk:Human 01:51, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Axioms vs. Postulates[edit]

The polymath Aschlafly on relativity:

Relativity is a mathematical system built on untestable hypotheses. By relying on assumptions about nature rather than observations, the theories of relativity violate Isaac Newton's rule against the use of hypotheses: "Hypotheses non fingo" ("I feign no hypotheses)".[1] Relativity also rejects -- without any experimental evidence -- Newton's action at a distance, which is basic to Newtonian gravity and quantum mechanics.

What's the difference between Einstein's postulates and Newton's axioms in being the fundamentals of a theory? larronsicut fur in nocte 12:59, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

Newton's action at a distance? "I don't know why gravity works but it does"? Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course, but it's not a rule and as far as I can tell it wasn't stated as a rule nor does anybody think of it as one. Taking the statement to its logical conclusion, any scientific theory is discredited if it was deduced from an hypothesis (like, umm, thermodynamics) regardless of whether it is later experimentally confirmed. Andy is just gasping at straws. FlareTalk 13:41, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Huh? Gasping at straws? What's the point of that? --Just passing by 14:05, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Argh, I knew something didn't look right. FlareTalk 14:34, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
What fun, Andy's hard-on for action-at-a-distance returns! Anything that opposes relativity in his eyes is totally awesome to him. Just google for the term and you will be swamped by instances of Andy holding it up. --Sid 14:43, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

What utter bull. That is in no way, shape, or fashion Newton's "rule against hypotheses". It was a comment he made in the General Scholium which left the causation of gravity to God/whatever you want. He applied the word to what we could call "speculation," not scientific hypotheses or axioms. Andy is a shit. PubliusTalk 15:02, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

It really ticks me off when Fundies mix a bunch of ideas that they very vaguely understand together to make an incoherent critique. So he's heard about how we must make testable hypotheses, so chuck that into the pot - ooh, and also we shouldn't make assumptions, and hypotheses are a bit like assumptions (?) so that goes in too. We need experimental evidence, so that's ingredient 3, and you know what, maybe we should just forget about the necessity for testable hypotheses and just throw in a bit of "make no hypotheses whatsoever" to sugar it over. Oh yeah, and for a topping science should be based on observation, not mathematical systems - so Quantum mechanics is a lot more like science than relativity. It all makes for a pretty nauseating brew, and I'm getting (mentally)ill from Andy's forcefeeding. Bil08 17:10, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
That sounds remarkably like what's going on over here, doesn't it? --Kels 17:13, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Tee hee!:
Several theories have been developed as ways of denying action at a distance. These include:
  • gravitons
  • string theory
  • quantum field theory
ToastToastand marmite 18:05, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
I'm guessing that Andy likes action at a distance because it allows him to imagine it's God holding the universe together (reminds of an infamous Chick Tract), an idea that Newton dismissed. I'm scratching my head thinking of what it was that Newton said in his dismissal, but whatever it was I hope it makes Andy's rant all the more ironic and stupid. Bil08 19:12, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
First it's evolution and now gravity? Wow, Richard Dawkins isn't kidding when he coined the term "Intelligent falling" (I wonder when Stork theory of reproduction is next... Oh yeah, when they can disprove the Sex theory by virgin birth). Jump! the falling motion is also action-at-a-distance! By the way, at most one can quantify F=Ma as an axiom (define/quantify force); the other are "validated hypotheses" ThiehZOYG I edit like Kenservative! 20:07, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Did someone mention the Stork theory? Don't you mean intelligent delivery? Totnesmartin 20:27, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

Didn't the word "hypothesis" have an altogether different meaning in Newton's time anyway? Junggai 20:11, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

Probably, as some yet-to-be-validated guesses. K61824ZOYG I edit like Kenservative! 20:16, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Fucking hell my brain explodes when Andy does "science". So many flaws I cant even type them. Ace McWickedDisco Jesus 20:38, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Teh brutha (Roger?) usually comes in to put him right. ToastToastand marmite 20:52, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

Movement Conservatives[edit]

(how the hell do I get an EC when I hit "+"?) I totally love this: "Movement conservatives are those who accept the logic of conservatism across-the-board, and stand up for its powerful principles despite liberal hatred and baseless ridicule. Movement conservative thinkers include:" mom and some ideologue who agrees with her. Remember all the speculation and mockery we did that Andy believes that the only good conservative is one who agrees with him on every issue? There it is, from the manchild himself. +1, would mock again. --Kels 15:03, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

Heh! I read this before the WIGO & thought that Kels was claiming her mother as a Mov Con. Like the little: __TOC__ <!--Do not remove this. We want to keep the insights on the first screen of viewing-->. ToastToastand marmite 17:24, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
That's even funnier when you consider his "insights" cover more than a full screen for most people. --Kels 17:26, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
It's a truly beautiful WIGO. I also like that conservatives aren't against same-sex marriage anymore, only against same-same. And of course the most important aspect of conservatives is their insistence on CLASS ROOM PRAYER, even though Schlafly is the only one I ever heard whine about that. --GTac 15:18, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
*bows* Thank you, thank you. Je suis ici tout le week. EddyP 16:23, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Oh, I've heard religious conservatives bitch about school prayer, but it's more teacher-led prayer to open the school day, not mandatory prayer at the beginning of every class. Of course, Andy probably thinks real teachers are like him, and only teach one class a week with a half-hour prep time. --Kels 15:23, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
My very favourite part is that conservatives the world over are all in favour of the second amendment. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 15:40, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
I also love the junk science part. If I weren't as honest as I am, I'd vote twice for this WIGO item. Editor at CPOh, Finland! Why? 16:35, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
I had a conservative movement this morning. 16:40, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
A bit was missed out of the Reagan caption, It should read: Ronald Reagan, the 40th President of the United States, is the epitome of American conservatism as he was suffering from the early effects of Alzheimer's disease. [my emph] ToastToastand marmite 17:38, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Ronald Reagan did NOT have "Alzheimer's disease". His seemingly erratic behavior was simply due to God calling His mighty soul to Heaven before his body could die. --Gulik 18:45, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Are we talking about... this Reagan? ĴαʊΆʃÇä₰ duuudddeee... 19:23, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

Language of Jesus[edit]

Question: by implication, does the word "articulate" not necessarily require that the audience for whom one is articulating, *understand* the language of teh speaker? And is that not why one more carefully articulates, when his or her audience fails in understanding? "Your statement is not persuasive. One might expect Jesus to teach in the language that best articulated the concepts, for example. For hundreds of years the Bible was read in Latin, even though that was not the language that many readers "best understood."--Andy Schlafly 23:25, 8 May 2009 (EDT) " jesus is, according to the bible, speakign to every man. You can't teach God's words to 'everyman' if you are speaking on language, and they, another. Does andy really think that a language somehow transcends teh message????????--Sun mowse.pngEn attendant Godot"«Poetry involves the mysteries of the irrational perceived through rational words. V.Nabokov» 18:28, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

Telepathy, Like the novel Chrysalis? Maybe slap in an illusion that the people are hearing Jesus saying something (doesn't matter what it is, the idea is conveyed through telepathy, just like Prophet Muhammad) ThiehAsk me for relationship advice 20:20, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
You see, we've been getting dumber since the fall. They had antediluvian cloning laboratories, so it isn't a stretch to have pre-Christ universal translators. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 22:21, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Maybe Andy has the ability to interpret Tongues. Pssst, Terry Koeckritz: "ba balahai n'hailoku ra n'morakunu teh assflea", pass it on. Jorge noes teh maths 22:27, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

Old (very), but I've only just noticed it[edit]

On the Math course BHarlan said (9th March 09):

  • Please do not keep asking here. You have asked three times now! I am sure I am not the only one who is developing some of this material off-wiki, to send to Aschlafly for consideration.
  • If anyone is interested, I might upload it as well. [my emphasis]
I'm interested, let's see it! (Apologies if this was brought up earlier) ToastToastand marmite 00:36, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

EPIC WIN[edit]

Congratulations, you know who you are, for what may be the most impressive sockery on CP evar. Alger Hiss is now featured on the main page. "FOIA", please take a very discreet bow. — Unsigned, by: Neveruse513 / talk / contribs 02:35, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

And in true FOIA style, even the little blurb on the front page has freakin' footnotes! --Kels 02:46, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Rocket Man[edit]

Andy's been harping on NASA and Teflon lately, making remarks about how no real inventions came out of the government space program. Does he think the space program has been a big waste, I wonder? Or maybe he thinks that liberals faked the moon landing, like they fake black holes. Corry 06:13, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

Wait, I thought he thought NASA invented polytetrafluoroethylene? He's confused and doesn't know what side to take now on the issue? ħumanUser talk:Human 07:12, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
It's just the near impossibilty of an Andy retraction. He's infallible so any backdown compromises his whole myth. ToastToastand marmite 07:21, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
I thought Andy liked ICBMs. I'm sure all his masturbatory fantasies involve reducing commies and liberals to radioactive ash. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 08:29, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Is this a prelude to Aschlafly undermining NASA because, you know, all that stuff they keep finding that kinda doesn't support YEC? I wonder how many YEC scientists and engineers work for NASA? And remember, von Braun was a Nazi! Ajkgordon 08:38, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Probably. The only thing worse than the government spending money is the government spending money on science.--WJThomas 11:37, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
I was kinda annoyed with his whole "nothing good has ever come out of the space program." Hell, the ppopularity and wide availability of TANG is enough to cover the entire NASA budget throughout history. SirChuckBCall the FBI 18:41, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Tang, like Teflon, did not actually come out of the space program. --Marty 04:12, 11 May 2009 (UTC)


Evolution, relativity, and NOW Shakespeare denier (we all know when Andy says "some" he means "I"). I bet he really thinks he's made a huge point about the spelling discrepancy. For those not in the know, Elizabethan spelling, including for personal names, was extremely fast and loose. There were many spellings of "Shakespeare", used by himself and his contemporaries. Christopher Marlow occasionally went by "Marley", with no change in pronunciation. Sigh. --Purple George!YossieSpring in Fialta 07:22, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

With a discrepancy on the birth certificate, Andy's probably thinking he was born in Hawaii or Kenya or something. And he might have been a Muslim, after all. DogP
Yeah, Shakespeare spelled his name some 4 or five different ways in his own will.... Another great example of Andy looking at something through a contemporary lens and assuming that it has always been that way through history. I'm sure he think Jesus was a brunette white guy who spoke perfect American English. SirChuckBCall the FBI 07:38, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
We had a Shakspearist on here sometime last year being extremely erudite (and annoying) on the subject. ToastToastand marmite 07:40, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
I had a look through that little mishmash earlier (I figured RW had to have at least one anti-Stratfordian)...annoying indeed. :p --Purple George!YossieSpring in Fialta 08:44, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
The talk page was fun. ToastToastand marmite 09:13, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
looking at something through a contemporary lens and assuming that it has always been that way - well anything else would be evolution. Totnesmartin 09:57, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Am I missing something?[edit]

What does the mother's day thing have to do with lesbians? |||| (wtf, no tildes on this keyboard)— Unsigned, by: / talk / contribs

If your mom is a lesbian, maybe? (also, you can always hit the "signature" button at the top of the edit window). --Kels 00:11, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Lesbians have mothers too! ToastToastand marmite 00:13, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
The news-bite insists that a person can have only one mother. There is a frequently-challenged picture book entitled Heather Has Two Mommies. The conclusion proceeds from there in a fairly straightforward fashion. Mjollnir.svgListenerXTalkerX 00:19, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Ah, so it's a lame extrapolation of Andy using an old saying. Gotcha, glad I voted. --Kels 00:23, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
It was Jpatt, actually. Mjollnir.svgListenerXTalkerX 00:31, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
I also have two mums: my mom and my stepmom, yet somehow I am not offended. Jorge Legendary Creature-Human Ninja 00:34, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
"One and only Moms", am I the only one who thinks that could have been worded better?--Nate River 00:47, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Google brings up about 1300 hits for "One and only Mom", and another 17,000 for "One and only Mother", so it's not like it's a phrase that he made up. And I don't see a lot of them using it to bash lesbians, strangely enough. --Kels 00:54, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Sorry, I know it sucks, but I haven't been doing well recently (of course, I don't usually add much), anyway, sorry again, for the whole sucking thing. My point was that he seemed to be pointing out that you can only have one mom, of course it probably could just be that he is pointing out how special a mother is, but knowing andy, I automatically went for the greater of two evils. And I probably got it wrong. Fine, I will admit it, I didn't take my medication today and can't concentrate, you happy now? --Passerby25 02:11, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Yes, although that has more to do with the nice blue Shropshire I just had with cracked pepper water crackers and some nice Dan Ackroyd merlot than anything you did. --Kels 02:18, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

"One and only moms". Sad to see that wigo go down, perhaps that item deserves another one. For mangled illiteracy. ħumanUser talk:Human 03:44, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Step mother (Or the one before that) somehow doesn't count. Somehow I find that to be attacking the "Family values" they are promoting themselves. K61824CP≠Child Porn? 03:56, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Honestly, I don't think anyone at CP is creative enough to have intended that phrasing as a subtle dig at non-traditional families. They're not that bright. I think it just meant "there's no one like my Mother". MDB 11:11, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Agreed. And if there's anyone who really loves his mommy, it's Oedipus Andy. And Jpatt just loves sucking up to him. --Kels 14:06, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

A note on the Newtonian concept/Conservative word WIGO[edit]

Just a note that action at a distance has NOT been debunked by anyone, Einstein included, and is, as shown through Quantum Entanglement, a very real and "spooky" phenomenon. Ace McWickedDisco Jesus 00:49, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

I thought that Einstein had to modify Newton's idea that gravity acted instantly without regard to distance. Mjollnir.svgListenerXTalkerX 00:53, 11 May 2009(UTC)
What i am getting at is that while that action at a distance does not work with relativity it does however hold true under Quantum Mechanics and has been observed. Ace McWickedDisco Jesus 00:56, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Isn't Andy due a slapdown from Brother Roger the Eater? ToastToastand marmite 00:57, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Yes. Andy is really on a tear today: New article action at a distance, which seems to set a record for amount of scientific ignorance per sentence, along with edits to relativity, and new "conservative words" action at a distance and non-locality. His ignorance is staggering! (Well, staggering for a normal person; in his case it's just the usual.) In the reference that he cited for Newton in 1693, the issue was whether gravity acted across a vacuum, not whether it acted instantaneously. And electrostatics acts instantly? Andy! Get a grip! Gauss 01:13, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Brain, hurts. I know Andy has any idea what he is talking about. Newton coined the phrase "action at a distance" because he could not explain how the force acted on the object. Until that point they had always thought of force as something applied by contact to the object, whereas one mass can apply a force to another mass, through the mass alone or as we call it gravity. Also both gravity and electrostatics occur at the speed of light, I am sure this has been measured. - π 01:52, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Didn't I also see Andy conflating "action at a distance" with "instantaneous action at a distance"? ħumanUser talk:Human 19:37, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
It doesn't matter. Action at a distance is indeed possible, via quantum physics. So he's right, sort of. --Prim arthropleura.jpg 20:43, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Bored TK finds a new way to block.[edit]

Love this. Instead of just removing the 'new' from the sources guideline, he removes the whole link. Start countdown to blocks (and block reason) from the Troll King for "using non-partisan sources" or something. Hello, Dean and Karajou - I know you read here - when are you going to wake up to what TK's plan is? BTW - anybody noticed when last Learn Together and Karajou edited. Looks like TopKunt has driven off two more sysops. --PsyGremlinWhut? 11:29, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Um. Karajou has made more than fifty edits in May so far, the last ones being dated May 10. You're right about LT, though: Four months without a single edit. --Sid 16:28, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Andy and Physics[edit]

Okay, I'll confess this is something of a sensitive spot for me, since the Assfly and I both have Bachelor's degrees in Electrical Engineering.

How the Hell did Andy ever get a BSEE since he pretty much denies all modern physics? He and I only graduated about half a decade apart, so our courses of study couldn't have been that different. At the least, he would have had to have taken a course in modern physics.

Did he

  1. not come to his "realizations" about physics until after college?
  2. commit deceit on his exams by repeating what his libb-burr-ull professors wanted to hear, rather than telling them the truth?

MDB 12:02, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

I think Andy is a fairly recent convert to the whole YEC thing. --PsyGremlinWhut? 12:09, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
RJJensen lately made some edits to cp:String theory. I would love to see a joined lecture science and critical thinking by Jensen and Schlafly!
I'm wondering what the next lecture will be: I doubt that he can get enough paying homeschoolers for his mathematics and critical thinking. What a pity... OTOH: this course not happening could be Schlafly's greatest contribution to maths ever! larronsicut fur in nocte 12:25, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
A combined Schlafly/Jensen lecture in math would create such a great quantity of teh stupid that its imense mass would cause a black hole, destroying the earth. Oh, and for bonus lulz, I love how the string theory article points to dark energy to prove string theory wrong, and the dark energy article says it was created by decietful liberal scientists to deny god. Great stuff. Z3rotalk 14:21, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
But black holes are liberal fabrications, so Andy could never create one. Hmm... did Andy ever argue that the LCH would doom the world because it would create a black hole or something of that nature? --Shagie 15:20, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Whoa whoa whoa. RJJ's modifications to cp:String theory are a clear improvement, describing it as what it is: a remarkably coherent mathematical unification which thus far fails the test of falsifiability. PubliusTalk 17:15, 11 May 2009 (UTC)


Expect a mass of people to check out conservapedia, cause it's featured on!. It's pretty good and they really managed to touch upon some of the highlights of Andy's insanity. It is a bit too bad that they mention Liberapedia for further research, but not RationalWiki :( --GTac 12:26, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Nice one. Glad they picked up on the translation project. My only gripe is (like the Vanity Fair) article, they look at it from the outside in. Imagine if they were to come across Andy's "lectures", methods of testing and his replies to people who question his facts (Lesson 11 as an example). Maybe we should be dropping hints to them? --PsyGremlinWhut? 12:43, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Nah, cracked isn't really a blog kind of website that would post updates to already existing articles. And I don't think you can blame them too much for the way they have written it. They only have a few paragraphs to sum up CP to thousands of people who have never heard of it, of course they won't be able to give a thorough insider's perspective. I'm quite impressed what they did manage to put in, it has the bible retranslation project, hitler-evolution, andy = school teacher, obsession with liberals and a description how they pretty much build an anti-intellectual bunker. What more could you expect? --GTac 12:52, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Gahh....Why didn't they link to cp:Evolution? Bastards! — Unsigned, by: Neveruse513 / talk / contribs 13:10, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Ha ha! I see informing Andy he's in Cracked, is now moronic vandalism. --PsyGremlinWhut? 13:17, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
TK to troll the comments in 3...2...1... Totnesmartin 13:26, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Do you think they would let us still that timeline for our CP article? It is looking a little shabby in the middle since PC took an interest in it. - π 13:31, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
I'm rather amazed to see that they're so kind to WikiFur, of all people. You'd think Cracked would tear them apart, but they just went for the easiest jokes and moved on. Weird. --Kels 13:44, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Furries are sooooooo last season. Vulpius 15:08, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Tear them apart? Some wikifurrians might be into that. 15:20, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Well, it must have had some effect. CP is now in nite moad. </jealous> — Unsigned, by: Neveruse513 / talk / contribs 15:22, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Cracked features Conservapedia as a "terrifying bastardization", Schlafly basks in the attention83.67.82.204 15:31, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
It's a damn shame they didn't link to the evolution article. We really need to get that page up the rankings. 15:48, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Apparently is blocked at my work ... can someone screengrab, summarize, or something? Jrssr5 15:55, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Look here. Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svgUser:Nutty Roux/sigtalk 15:57, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
unfortunately the feds are on top of their game, and don't allow work-arounds like that. Thanks though. Jrssr5 18:16, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Someone official here want to ask them if we can use their "Helpful time line" picture in our Conservapedia article? I think they summed it all up pretty well. --Gulik 16:02, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Ahahahaha, I just saw that on Cracked! XD And even though they mostly just went for the more obvious targets, they offer a surprisingly good understanding of CP: "The folks at Conservapedia are trying to build something more like a bunker, surrounded by six feet of concrete that no opposing ideas can pierce." --Sid 16:20, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
As a scummy Euro-liberal I can't be expected to keep up will the ravings of the Schlafly harridan as well as her loony son, so following the link from Cracked I notice that Granny Phy is the one harping on about Dubya not being conservative enough. Can't Andy come up with his own insights any more, or is he still sucking at his mother's dried-up teats? Redchuck.gif ГенгисRationalWiki GOLD member 17:52, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Ken - CP's most irrelevant user?[edit]

Is it just me, or is Ken becoming more irrelevant? He hardly edits his pet articles any more; all he really does is put up his strange 'Gentlemen!!! I believe that it is likely that in the near future I will wash my hair!!! Look out for the search rankings of 'toenail clippings' at a certain search engine starting with a 'G'!'. I know he recently found a new fad (homosexuality and genetics) but that's stopped now. He hardly interacts with other users, apart from those whom he invites (and who never make a single edit e.g. BigWhammy) and I think that until he finds a new article like 'homosexuality and soap' or something he will increasingly fade into obscurity. Even Andy ignores him completely whenever Ken posts on his talk page; usually TK steps in and makes Ken his bitch. EddyP 15:56, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Essentially. He rarely if ever adds new content. It's almost entirely inane changes of verbiage, changing pictures, sizes, and copy-pasting his quote-ore into new articles. "Gentlemen! Behold! The search ranking for a certain article beginning with A is now #3 on a search engine beginning with G! I FEAR PROPER NOUNS!" PubliusTalk 16:47, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
 K e n  D o l l  is only capable of three sorts of thoughts; believing in gOD, how evolution is a LIE, and not having sex with (other?) men. Since he's covered these topics already, he merely tweaks and prods his babies whilest looking at the search engine that begins with "G" to see how healthy they are. His goals complete he can die (and go to Heaven to be with Jesus for all eternity, the tall, hunky Jesus that will hold our  K e n  D o l l  and give him kisses and other heavenly delights...) CЯacke® 16:56, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Ok, so killing is bad and god tells Abraham to kill Isaac... Homosex is an abomination worthy of great scorn and many footnotes. What would  K e n  D o l l /Daniel1212 do if his god commanded him to have homosex? Could he bring himself to do it? — Unsigned, by: Neveruse513 / talk / contribs 17:09, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
I daresay he would, ahem, 'rise' to the occassion. EddyP 17:12, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Pious man that he is, he would fall to his knees in worship, of course. --Kels 17:20, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
What I love best is that both Cross daily and Christian Top Sites have absolutely, not a single, nada mention of CP. Evern better Conservative USA doesn't mention CP in their "Right Links". Proof, once again, of what an epic fail those homo-, xeno-, <insert phobia of choice>phobic morons at CP actually are. --PsyGremlinWhut? 17:26, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
I do blog and news searches for CP regularly, hoping against hope that someone will say something positive for me to put in the Wikipedia article. But there's only the science blogs laughing at it, or occasional "hey, get these idiots2 pieces a la Vanity Fair and Cracked. It must be galling for andy that regular conservatives like Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh won't touch CP. Totnesmartin 18:18, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
it must be a measure of how bad CP is that I called Ann and Rush "regular" in comparison... Totnesmartin 18:19, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Ann Coulter - as regular as (but much less fun than) menstruation.  Lily Inspirate me. 18:34, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

"far faster than geometrically"[edit]

What does that even mean???? --and just an fyi, you dumb fck "insight c.1200, innsihht, "sight with the eyes of the mind," mental vision, understanding," from in + sight. Sense shaded into "penetrating understanding into character or hidden nature" (c.1580)." [9]--Sun mowse.pngEn attendant Godot"«Poetry involves the mysteries of the irrational perceived through rational words. V.Nabokov» 18:32, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

a_n = a\,r^{n-1} and apparently r = 2 and n = centuries since KJV was published. — Unsigned, by: Neveruse513 / talk / contribs 18:47, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
I wonder if he has considered normalizing conservative word growth by population growth.
I love this running calculation he has going. "All words I like are conservative words. Lamp. I love lamp." And then he adds words to each century to show geometric growth. Conservatives win! QED! Andy's painting the target around the bullet hole again. Corry 22:53, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Ah, thanks for the reminder. That's the Texas sharpshooter fallacy! ħumanUser talk:Human 22:57, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Growth by tetration? But then how does he get the manpower to write it in that speed? Second thought, he must be typing at Godspeed at that point, which raises the question that why he is not typing at Godspeed now? ThiehAsk me for relationship advice 23:04, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
I don't even see how he came up with that dumb observation. Geometrically could be a tripling each century, or 10x. It's still geometric. And thanks for reminding me of tetration, Knxbam - I'm still trying to memorize that word... ħumanUser talk:Human 23:48, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Hamster hiccup?[edit]

I'm getting an "Internal Server Error" every now and then when trying to access CP. Is the traffic causing more load or something? --Sid 19:41, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

And now I also got a 503 "Service Temporarily Unavailable" one. Also resolved after refreshing, though. --Sid 19:45, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

This should be fun...[edit]

Ed suggests that the insanely long "Examples of Bias in Wikipedia" page should become even longer by formatting it as a table with a column for biased speculation and further demonization careful analysis of why Wikipedia did whatever it did.

Should be fun to watch, let's hope Andy agrees! --Sid 19:44, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Can't see why he'd bother. After all, everything, including acts of vandals, are just a reflection of site policy and Jimbo's deep evil. --Kels 20:18, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
They totally need our voting extension so they can have WIGO bias in wikipedia. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 21:11, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Too bad it's GFDL... ħumanUser talk:Human 22:44, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Fair use! Fair use fixes everything! --Sid 23:30, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

This could get ugly[edit]

TK threatens to undo a block by DeanS. DeanS then reverts TK's comment. Could get interesting. Ace McWickedDisco Jesus 22:26, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Cagematch! ħumanUser talk:Human 22:55, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
I like how they completely ignore RJenson's "go to Canada" and other bullshit and just target the editor. Never gets old. AndyToad.gifNorsemanCyser Melomel 22:59, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
I wonder why TK is even interested to unblock that lady. Is it because he is obsessed with simply blocking people for no good reason? ThiehMonitoring virgin birth experiment 23:30, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
With anybody but Dean, I would have guessed that TK is simply targeting yet another sysop to drive away. But Dean? DEAN? The guy who came up with MYOB? Seriously? Wow. Maybe it's just TK cementing his "Andy's Right Hand" position since Dean is fairly high-ranking (thanks to him copy-pasting all those "news" items), too. Like "Yeah, Dean, you're ranked high in the chain of command, but I'm higher." So Dean reverting looks a lot like "Bring it, bitch." Though I'm willing to bet money that the action will be 100% behind the scenes here. So we likely won't see many details along the way. --Sid 23:36, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Amusingly, just re-saw the WoW South Park ep last night, I can't help but think the "evil gamer" looks just like TK. But, yeah, Sid, I'm sure a little flurry of emails and IMs has already unruffled this one. Shame when they take their spats private. ħumanUser talk:Human 23:51, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
I think that since Dean's status as a parodist is uncertain, TK is aiming at him next in his campaign to drive out the people who actually want to contribute instead of assist in self-destructing the site. ENorman 00:14, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
I wonder if Andy would even notice if the site was reduced to just him and the students? ħumanUser talk:Human 00:32, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
I dont there is much that Andy really notices. He doesnt seem to notice TK ruining his site nor the derision he and his site garner from the outside world. He doesnt notice his own double standards, hypocrisy nor stupidity. Ace McWickedDisco Jesus 00:40, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
You forgot that he doesn't notice that America is not becoming more conservative, despite how many words he randomly pulls from the dictionary.ENorman 02:32, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
And I've never seen him notice or pay any attention in anary way to a single one of Ken's edits. It's like he lives in a bubble, inside another bubble. DogP 04:02, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
Ken's like a cricket in a matchbox. You can sometimes hear it chirp but largely you ignore it and keep it in the dark. Redchuck.gif ГенгисRationalWiki GOLD member 14:26, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

Some consistency...[edit]

Jpatt at 9pm: Welcome, TeachEnglish! Jpatt at 10pm: Get lost, Ronaldrwasgod! The former put up a single link to a foreign organization. The latter's only crime was making a sentence grammatically correct. What happened in that one hour? --Irrational Atheist 02:38, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

The problem with grammar is that it can change the context of the sentence, Jpatt has it going the way they want. - π 04:15, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
Unsurprisingly that piece of bad grammar can from Andy and has sat there for 15 months unchallenged. - π 04:19, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
I wish a sentence with "bad grammar" in it didn't have, you know, bad grammar, and typos :( ħumanUser talk:Human 04:27, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
Tongue0001.gif - π 04:31, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
"...a liberal that happens..."? Now we are objects. Nice. ħumanUser talk:Human 04:29, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
He already had us as only befriending people to indoctrinate them, being irrational immoral hate-machines, and unable to understand any immaterial concept such as love, truth, or gravity. This is hardly a stretch. ENorman 04:40, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
Doesn't the word "that" includes things as well as peoples? Now I am confused. ThiehZOYG I edit like Kenservative! 05:12, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
"...a liberal who happens..." would be correct. ħumanUser talk:Human 05:23, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
It's amazing; when a random editor corrects the grammar mistakes of TK, Ken, Dean, or Jpatt, they will respond by squinting their eyes really hard, changing something inconsequential about the sentence, and yet they still get it wrong! Junggai 08:30, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

Here is the problem of classifying contraception as a sin...[edit]

Abstinence would then be classified as a contraception. Conclusion: Abstinence is classified as a sin.

Or did someone went over that already? ThiehZOYG I edit like Ken! 05:07, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

I always thought that the shining eye of one who desires you physically is God telling us, in her wisdom, to try to make a baby as soon as possible. But then, I might be wrong. ħumanUser talk:Human 05:25, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
PS, Kxyzwi, what was your link supposed to go to? (I messed it up, pls to fix) ħumanUser talk:Human 05:28, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
I vaporized the image for a duplicate of this one. Mjollnir.svgListenerXTalkerX 05:31, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
Thanks. ħumanUser talk:Human 06:14, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

Update: Brilliance is not needed in writing an article about "Brilliant" ThiehWhat is NOT going on? 13:54, 12 May 2009 (UTC)


Hi Ken, I did as you suggested and called my mother and told her that some crazy internet creationist kook has begun some kind of operation which he thinks will destroy evolution on the internet or something. I even emailed her the link. I am afraid, however, that she didn't really care and thinks you are child by way of looking at your writing style. So yeah, you failed again. As you were. Ace McWickedDisco Jesus 00:43, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

I see Operation Christ-Let's-Just-Give-Him-a-Link-So-He'll-STFU is going well. --Kels 00:52, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
I told my mum and she said "stop harassing him, he probably has some kind of learning disability which effects his social skills, don't you have anything better to do". I got her Dreams from my father for Mother's Day, she liked that better. - π 01:40, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
I saw a guy today who fit my mental image of  K e n  D o l l  perfectly. Wearing a shirt that said "I Did Not Evolve" with overall mismatched clothes, huge coke-bottle glasses, crazy wiry hair, and was mumbling to himself. ENorman 01:44, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

So as I drove downtown today, I saw a truck that said in HUGE LETTERS


I took a picture, I'll try to upload it some time. The Emperor Kneel before Zod! 01:50, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Gentlemen! A leading creationist website now realizes the importance of having a hard-hitting anti-atheism article - no, wait, two leading creationist websites now realizes the importance of having a hard-hitting anti-atheism article. Eh - hang on,sorry, three leading creationist website now realizes the importance of having a FLAGSHIP hard-hitting anti-atheism article! Incredible! Or something! (Main Page, look away, the stupid it hurts). DogP 02:29, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Yeah we now have the tyre picture. Hey  K e n  D o l l  increase it by 1 pixel every hour for us. DANCE LITTLE MAN! DANCE!! - π 02:34, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Thanks for reading Ken.[10]. You're a fucking idiot btw. DogP 03:49, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
I loaded the main page earlier on the way to getting the link to my deleted user page, and was struck by the stupid, in both the Mother's Day item and Ken's utterly weird, typically repetitive post. He's just playing what he thinks are SEO tricks, I think. ħumanUser talk:Human 03:51, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Hint: Google "flagship anti-atheism article" in a day or two. ħumanUser talk:Human 03:51, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
I wonder if one of these creation organisation which suddenly realised they need a hard hitting anti-atheist article is called Windmill Ministries. Again with the mutual masturbation reciprocal linking  K e n  D o l l , you do know that shit doesn't impress a search engine starting with G for more than a few hours until the bots find it? - π 04:00, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Nice job with the reciprocal linking  K e n  D o l l , I just used a certain search engine (AU) starting with G to search for a topic starting with E and you have dropped from your usual 14 to 17! Can't you see you are wasting your time, they know what you are doing and a team of people smarter than you work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week improving the algorithm used to stop your shit. - π 04:08, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Just one more edit needed there Ken - you've got "old" and "ole'", you don't need both. DogP 04:14, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
You are back from 11 to 14 on the US as well. A few more operations and you should be back on the third page. - π 04:16, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
It's OK, he's equivocating about it already. I'm glad you understand you're backing a loser Ken. DogP 04:27, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Every month for about a year now he's been promising us that real soon now his fantastic evolution article will be on the front page of google. The only thing that has happened recently is that it has fallen from 13 to 15. He's like those Christians who predict the rapture every damn year, and don't seem deterred when they're constantly wrong. Give it up,  K e n  D o l l , your operations are pure fantasy and you yourself are a pathetic failure. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 06:18, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Has anyone actually seen Ken's mention at Windmill Ministries? It comprises a single link 35 entries down in a list that is prefaced with "We do not necessary [sic] endorse the content of the following websites". Was this operation Grass Jackboots and Sancho Panzers in which a hard-hitting windmill-tilting anti-atheism article would be quietly buried away in a backwater that no-one hardly ever visits? Ole! Ole! Ole! Redchuck.gif ГенгисYou have the right to be offended; and I have the right to offend you. 17:16, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

From Windmill Ministries:
To show the world that Christianity is not only for "the gullible" and children...
added emphasis. Redchuck.gif Генгисpillaging 17:37, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
Nice, Genghis, good catch. That's just genius. DogP 17:49, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

Ken's contributions[edit]

What does  K e n  D o l l  actually contribute? Looking at his last 50 contributions we have; a few minor tweaks to the Darwin article, a response to a parodist and the mass removal of conversation from a talk page. The rest is either his edit to the Gentleman phone message, the comments on the mainpage that would confuse any new visitors to the site and the article he created on the group he is obviously reciprocal linking with. What has he contributed to other than the inflation of his own ego? - π 04:36, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

What has he ever done anywhere that wasn't inflation of his own ego? That covers every edit he's ever done on CP, and every message board posting before that. --Kels 04:48, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
When you've no actual achievements, all you can do is blow your own trumpet.(apologies for any unfortunate images that conjures up) It's the same for Andy & Ed- it's the reason for the whole site. ToastToastand marmite 07:50, 11 May 2009 (UTC)


Kens lastest rantings are pure Genius. Do we have a screenshot of this yet? Its Ken at his finest. Ace McWickedDisco Jesus 08:15, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Gone in 60 seconds - it looks like he didn't want us to actually read it because it was so bad! Silver Sloth 08:42, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
So sad there goes half his contributions for today. Did anyone get it? I have been taunting him all day, I am hoping I caused his head to explode. - π 09:05, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
I got it but only on a word document. Ace McWickedDisco Jesus 09:54, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Lets have it anyway. - π 10:54, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Export as text & copy it up here. ToastToastand marmite 11:15, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
At work but I'll try upload it when I get home. It was pretty funny. Ace McWickedDisco Jesus 20:15, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Conservative values[edit]

I followed the WIGO, and had forgotten what a gem this article is.

...conservative values are superb in defending against obesity, addiction, adversity, anxiety, fear, depression, narcissism, risky law-breaking activities like dangerous driving, self-destructive behavior, illiteracy, rejection, wastefulness, and serious mental disorders.

He sounds like a guy running a traveling medicine show: "Cures baldness, dropsy, corpulence, piles, flatulence, orneriness, and smallpox!" Corry 14:10, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

I was thinking it sounds like Professor Harold Hill in The Music Man. He just needs to replace "conservatism" with "boy's brass band". MDB 14:21, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
I do not want to hear Andy sing. --Kels 14:31, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
But Andy's brain's all cracked and broken broken! Sorry mom, the mob has spoken!— Unsigned, by: / talk / contribs
...conservative values are superb in defending against obesity, addiction, adversity, anxiety, fear, depression, narcissism, risky law-breaking activities like dangerous driving, self-destructive behavior, illiteracy, rejection, wastefulness, and serious mental disorders.

Izzat so? Vulpius 16:11, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

I'd also like to see one for illiteracy (and probably addiction, "risky activities" and mental disorders). — Unsigned, by: Neveruse513 / talk / contribs 16:17, 12 May 2009 (UTC) — Unsigned, by: Neveruse513 / talk / contribs 16:18, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
Notice how Mississippi consistently prevents Texas from ever hitting 50th on any of these measures... ħumanUser talk:Human 01:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

This crop of new CP users...[edit]

It looks like lots of new users are signing up and starting trouble. Probably from the cracked article, as they're not really our style. Way too over the top. Not even that lulzy; maybe they'll try harder, as all they're doing is giving TK a smiting hardon. Z3rotalk 14:21, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

That's a mental image I could've done without. Actually, I seriously doubt that much (if any, and no condoned) vandalism comes from here anymore. (Not that the morons over there will believe us, of course). We're more interested in long-term undercover operations, like I managed with getting JPatt made a sysop. --PsyGremlinWhut? 15:25, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
It's fucking eerie. They keep signing up and not doing anything. Maybe something big is in the works? Is anyone here Anonymous? Can you tell me what's going on??? — Unsigned, by: Neveruse513 / talk / contribs 16:15, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
Sure, tell him and give it all away. No problem! --Kels 16:19, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
I expect they just want to set their user preferences. They'll only need edit if they find any wrong information, which is unlikely on the Trustworthy Encyclopedia.--

Kriss AkabusiAAAWOOOGAAAR!!1 16:24, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

TK, most of those are mine anyway. Not only do I demand that the new accounts be deleted, they must be deleted without prejudice. — Unsigned, by: Neveruse513 / talk / contribs 16:26, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

This site is growing rapidly!1-- Kriss AkabusiAAAWOOOGAAAR!!1 16:28, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

Sorry, but the blink is borked! Redchuck.gif ГенгисIs the Pope a Catholic? 16:41, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
At least this gives us something to watch... ħumanUser talk:Human 01:56, 13 May 2009 (UTC)


Before I start I would like to thank Misza13 for making his/her code available for this.

Basically I now have Miszabot running on RW as Pibot. What it does is quite straight forward it takes threads that have not been edited in more than a specified time cuts them and adds them to the archive. The tweaking will basically be the size of the archive (currently set at 250,000 characters) and how old the thread has to be before it is done. I am currently looking at 100hrs, keeping in mind that is 100 hrs between the oldest time stamp and where I live about 14hrs ahead of the timestamp, so a bit over 3 days. How is that for everyone? - π 13:16, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

You Sir, are a genius. Have the rest of the day off as a token of my gratitude. And 3 days should be more than enough. Might need to make it longer for TWIGOASK though? --PsyGremlinWhut? 13:46, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
I really did very little to make it usable here. As people get use to using it we can tweak it. I will set it at 140hr at TWIGOASK and see how that goes. - π 13:49, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
Let's go with 3 days and see how it works. Totnesmartin 16:01, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
You might also want to check when RW is quietest and set it for that time. I think around 7-8am UTC, and there's a bit of a lull from 10-12 UTC too I've noticed. Totnesmartin 16:03, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
Hmmm, I sleep from roughly 8-16 UTC. Run it while I'm asleep. Run all bots while I sleep. Kthxbai :) ħumanUser talk:Human 04:28, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

Mark Pesce[edit]

When looking through the surchur stuff, I came across this image, (c) Darren Sharp, who uses CP's Kangaroo article. Anybody know who he is, and how we've missed this guy who's seemingly doing a good job trashing CP? --PsyGremlinWhut? 08:58, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

I saw that as well. I must thank Ken for the link to such a concentrated source of anti-CP articles/pictures/videos. Talk about cognitive dissonance. Redchuck.gif Генгисpillaging 09:32, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
Been around for a while Worm (t | c) 09:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
We can't really call this an epic fail by Ken... it's actually kinda wonderful. Just watched his (Pesce's, not Ken's) "Inconvenience of Truth" vid on YouTube. Love where he says CP's kangaroo entry is funnier than Uncyclopedia's.--PsyGremlinWhut? 09:57, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

Jessica retires[edit]

It's official, Jessica retired (here). So, how long will it take TK to block her without prejudice and delete her user/talk page? larronsicut fur in nocte 12:19, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

but... but... where will Conservapedians go for detailed discussions of anime? MDB 12:27, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
I'm sure Uncle Ed will provide... assuming you like that kind of anime of course. Heh heh - I love how cp:Azumanga Daioh makes no mention of the creepy pedo Teacher, or Kaorin, who has definite lesbian-ish feelings towards Sakaki. Could be a surprise in store for little conservatives who watch that show. Countdown to deletion after Troll King reads this in 3... 2... 1... --PsyGremlinWhut? 12:48, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
She's tried to get two of her photos removed, saying that the photos' owner (I assume her) has withdrawn permission for their use. Like that'll ever work for any copyrighted photo on CP, but the original photo comment says that they have been released into the public domain. Bondurant 12:57, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
lesbian-ish?! And thanks, I didn't even know they had an article on Azumanga. And how dare they call Osaka dim-witted! She's probably considered pretty smart on whatever planet she came from! --GTac 13:08, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Yeah - I love Osaka to bits too. --PsyGremlinWhut? 13:17, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

What an annoying S.O.B. larronsicut fur in nocte 13:38, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

[e.c] I used the words vindictive small-dicked pratt, but you E.C.'d me. PsyGremlinWhut? 13:42, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
I agree that TK is a dick and all that, but the upload comment by Jessica did say that she had released the photos to the public domain, and I don't think you can then take back ownership for something you've given away. Of course, the polite thing to do would have been to delete the pictures, but this is TK. Bondurant 14:52, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
lol. Polite? It would have required him to do the 'proper' or even 'Christian' thing, but Troll King is unfamiliar with either word. --PsyGremlinWhut? 14:58, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
What do you suppose is the fate of the picture of her and her sister on her user page? That would be the one I'd be worried about leaving at CP. Aboriginal Noise Oh, you want to hit people with garbage cans? 15:23, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Assuming Jessica was foolish enough to upload a real pic. I'm sure Ed by now has it safely in his...collection. --Kels 15:30, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
  • Shudder*. Let's hope Jess doesn't read that :P EddyP 15:47, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

I wonder what she will be working on, but oh well... ThiehEd Poor types in Chinese? 21:01, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

If I remember rightly she was due to take up a teaching post in Japan about now. So I presume she's occupied with preparation of her class material. Redchuck.gif Генгисmarauding 21:40, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

Rising from the Dead is illogical WIGO[edit]

Andy might be actually right on this one. I mean aside from any philosophical conclusions that I am unaware of (would it really be the same person in the reanimated body? Is it an analytic truth that being dead means you can't be brought back? etc) there is no logical objection to people rising from the dead, any more than there is a logical objection to unicorns existing. Then again Andy doesn't seem to have a clue what "logic" is so maybe he fluked this one. Bil08 03:22, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

Based on what we now know dying to be, it is illogical — like saying, "There's nothing illogical about getting more power out of a battery you just completely drained." Mjollnir.svgListenerXTalkerX 03:32, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
It does sort of come down to "name one example". OK, "name two" Oops, "name three" (Allowing for Lazarus?) ;) ħumanUser talk:Human 03:37, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
I believe the problem lies in what "death" is defined as — perhaps someone is still experimenting, just like virgin birth, by making more samples(corpses and virgins, respectively) every day. Well, from Andy's definition, being dead has no baring on what happens afterwards(prone to resurrection) since "raised from the dead" is used (if "resurrection" is used, then there is a possibility that death only applies to those who stays dead). K61824CP≠Child Porn? 03:38, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
arguments for religion are so much more successful when they don't try to "prove" their points with "science" and "logic"-- this is something PJR and Andy need to learn. Just dismiss all the violations of the rules (Where did the water go during the Flood? What did the animals eat on the ark? How did Jesus rise from the dead?) by saying--"It was a fuckin' miracle. That's what God does--he performs fuckin' miracles. You don't like? Too fuckin' bad, those are God's rules, baby..." instead of engaging in an exercise which is doomed to fail--trying to prove the unprovable by twisitng logic into shapes it will not go. Amin7b5 03:52, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
But Andy has always tried to pass CP off as a serious academic and intellectual undertaking, they even list him as an academic on his page. He is vaguely aware of the fact that proper intellectual discourse is based on reason and logic, so what he does is start with the answer he wants and asserts that it is logical. See makes perfect sense. - π 03:59, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
Say, speaking of which, what's this nonsense on Andy's user page about the "Hawthorne effect"? I looked it up on WP and it doesn't seem to apply to anything Andy does in any way. Any ideas? --Kels 04:06, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
There is a simple explanation for pretty much anything Andy says; he heard the word(s) once, didn't understand it properly, but he liked the sound of it and so uses it in the way he imagines it means. - π 04:19, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
I dunno yet, but "User:Asclafly" is not taken yet... hint to Anonymous... ħumanUser talk:Human 04:20, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
Rereading his shit, I think he is under the impression that his students are doing better because so many people can observe their progress and work on CP, rather than the anonymous nature of school work. - π 04:24, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
"The Hawthorne effect is a form of reactivity whereby subjects improve an aspect of their behavior being experimentally measured simply in response to the fact that they're being studied,[1][2] not in response to any particular experimental manipulation." Children behave well in an authoritarian environment? Cue that Michael Jackson song - is it Thriller I hear all over my talk radio these days ("Somebody's watching you")? Anyway, yeah, Andy read the first half-sentence at WP and ignored what it was actually about? ħumanUser talk:Human 04:26, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
In fact, it's Rockwell, pretty much the only thing he ever did worth mentioning. --Kels 17:43, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
About Rising from the Dead/horror version. I once read a history of vampires - that is, of vampires in popular culture. The most interesting part was the first half of the book, which dealt with vampires/undead/zombies in ancient and medieval times (that is, before modern fiction). It was a very interesting and illuminating read about the general fears, beliefs, behaviours of people, beyond the specific issue of vampires. If you can put your hands into such a book, I highly recommend reading it. For starters, there is the WP page. Editor at CPOh, Finland! Why? 09:48, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

Jinx & Carrie[edit]

Here he comes to save the day!

Nice of Jinx to give us some links. ToastToastand marmite 05:42, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

Between him and Ed Poor it is a wonder that the family-friendly encyclopaedia isn't over run with smut and swearing. Typical hypocrites. - π 06:04, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
Jinx posted a classic comment on Ray Comfort's blog a while back about how Christians were so nice, and atheists were all foul mouthed pirates. Considering the Jinx of yore on RW, I'd guess he must be an atheist. By the way, what's an ultra-gay and where can I meet one? --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 06:10, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
Ultragay would make a good villain in superhero comics. Should Superman or Batman fight him? Jack Chick, isn't it time for some superhero action? Editor at CPOh, Finland! Why? 09:23, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
P.S. No, I DON'T want to know what Ultragay's superpowers or secret weapons are. Editor at CPOh, Finland! Why? 09:27, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
Oooh, but I can have so much fun speculating. Silver Sloth 09:48, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

I fought Ultragay once. I don't want to talk about it. They call me the Merc with a mouth. They say I never shut up. Well, they should have been there the day I fought Ultragay. -- Deadpool Time for a boss battle suckers!

That better not be your way of putting comments on a talk page because it's fucking annoying and I will dedicate my life to reverting every comment you ever make if I have to. 14:00, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

Hordes of teh gayz are advancing on New Jersey[edit]

This would seem to suggest that it's not long now before Ed has to live amongst gay snuggling marrieds. And Andy's home state will surely be next and teh gayz will be nesting all around Andy. Won't that be a great moment? That's going to be top-class lulz. DogP 06:47, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

Oooh, the homosexual agenda! ħumanUser talk:Human 06:53, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
God damn teh gay for wanting marriage. But if you *really* want to get back at teh gay, just deny them Divorce.  ;-)--Sun mowse.pngEn attendant Godot"«Poetry involves the mysteries of the irrational perceived through rational words. V.Nabokov» 15:02, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

CP under attack[edit]

Amongst the many vandalism hits that CP is currently suffering was this


Says it all, really. Site sucks bro.

Oh, and enjoy your server. It's about to get busted by us guys over at ONM (Official Nintendo Magazine forums),
and 4chan aren't exactly happy with you.

Bye bye, server! Enjoy your DDoS!


Silver Sloth 17:56, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, it's all fun and games until it happens to us and we don't have a night mode to save us. — Unsigned, by: Neveruse513 / talk / contribs 18:01, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
Oh noes, bunker down, it's happening again!!! Z3rotalk 18:09, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
Ames, Human and Trent are really going at it over there. I'm gonna check the Nintendo forums for this; any brave volunteers to venture into 4chan? EddyP 18:16, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
From the Ninty forums, it appears to be this one regginator3 guy proposing a DDoS and noone has replied. Here. EddyP 18:22, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
Somehow I feel that Official Nintendo Magazine forums don't sound really threatening. "Oi! We'se gonna git some boys from Sega Universal to crack yous heads in. You got that?" Vulpius 18:48, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
TK is really missing out on some good range blocking opportunities right now. He's got his target of blocking 5% of the internet to achieve, and he isn't going at it with enough vigour. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 18:51, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
I'd say he's doing pretty well at the moment. He shot down TaKess earlier, I believe. Still waiting for him to block CPalmer though. EddyP 19:12, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

Great balls of fire Lightning![edit]

I'm not sure how lulz-worthy this is, but I just found cp:Ball lightning, which consists entirely of:

  1. Saying something is impossible, and
  2. Claiming that God slew the first person who died from it with a fireball.

Seems a perfect example of a stub to me. The Emperor Kneel before Zod! 00:40, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

Unfortunately is a new (soon to be blocked) user. Now if it had been Ed, that would be funny. - π 00:43, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
It's not an edstub? Oh, I thought it was. The Emperor Kneel before Zod! 00:49, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
Far too sophisticated a writing style for Poor Ed. ħumanUser talk:Human 01:04, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
Teacaked. --Prim arthropleura.jpg 01:29, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
Nuked, deleted, and mem'ry holed. Thanks for reading, bitch. The Emperor Kneel before Zod! 01:47, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
Too bad, I liked it--Nate River 03:29, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
I missed the whole thing. Sounds reminiscent of one of my articles on another phenomena, though. :) --Marty 05:12, 14 May 2009 (UTC) shhistory

Now TK's liveblogging...[edit]

...the Daily Show. ħumanUser talk:Human 03:43, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

Is this parody?[edit]

I kind of lose track of these things. (revert in question)
Which of us think this is a Parody?  K e n  D o l l  probably did.
ThiehAsk me for relationship advice 05:56, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

Yes. If they are not an established editor they are parodists (even some of the established ones are too, not to name names Jinx hi Jinx!) Yorick 06:02, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
Change liberal to evolutionist and  K e n  D o l l  himself could have written it. - π 06:17, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
/K{1}[0-9]{5}/ never ask people to out their socks. - π 06:19, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

Creepy Ed is Creepy[edit]

Creepy Ed wunts ur naem and numbah. Will you answer the call?— Unsigned, by: Neveruse513 / talk / contribs 17:01, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

Moar Creepy Ed lulz: Ed doesn't know which sentence TaKess is talking about, which is funny because there are only two and one of them is "Wikipedia is dominated by atheistic public school students who would be particularly biased against this truth.", which we already knew was true. — Unsigned, by: Neveruse513 / talk / contribs 17:05, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
AW FUCK I CANNA TAKE IT: Ed is fucking retarded. — Unsigned, by: Neveruse513 / talk / contribs 17:07, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
I think Ed is trying to pull a creepier version of a TK here. At last TK keeps it online with email and IMs most of the time. I don't think we have really seen phone calls like this since this site got started. --BoredCPer 17:15, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
I saw this video a day or two ago, and it really, really reminded me of Ed. Possibly NSFW... it's been edited to sound worse than it is. -Lardashe

I seriously hope TaKess is under 18 and reports Ed. --PsyGremlinWhut? 17:20, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
Oh, I wish... (un)fortunately, TaKess is one of us. — Unsigned, by: Neveruse513 / talk / contribs 17:25, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

I don't get it; why would Ed suddenly turn the creepyness up to 11? Z3rotalk 17:27, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

Saynosaynosaynosaynosaynosaynosaynosaynosaynosaynosaynosayno. She needs to equip herself with MACE. EddyP 17:50, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

How does one report this to COPPA? The service is aimed at individuals under 13. --Shagie 17:58, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

Hey, we could put CUR's legendary socking skills to use here. Get weird Ed Moon to groom the little bugger. Entrapment, baby, yeah. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 21:53, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
Did someone say rusty-spotted catamite? Redchuck.gif ГенгисRationalWiki GOLD member 22:25, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
Hahahahahahahahaha nice one Genghis! Ace McWickedDisco Jesus 22:30, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
TaKess: "I'm a student at the University of Arizona", he/she/it should report creepy ed to campus security ;) ħumanUser talk:Human 02:00, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
If I read COPPA correctly (I am not a lawyer), it doesn't even need to have a person out there - just signing up for an account on a service oriented to children including those under 13, requiring an email address, and not blocking said account if the person is 13 or under is enough. Having sysops ask for personal contact information of anyone who isn't a verified an adult would also be an issue on such a site. --Shagie 06:05, 13 May 2009 (UTC) Ammendum - even requiring the real name of a person 13 or under is in violation of COPPA. --Shagie 06:05, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
07:11, 13 May 2009 TK (Talk | contribs) blocked TaKess (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 years (account creation disabled, e-mail blocked) ‎ (Troublemaker/Prevaricator: Trolling posts) - Silver Sloth 12:22, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
Burnt the user page as well. Anyone have a screen shot of the creepy what-the-fuckness? Crundy 11:05, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

Geometric growth... bullseye![edit]

How are "straightforward" and "quantify" conservative terms? This is gone from ridiculous to ludicrous, even by Andy's standards. Somebody needs to explain the Texas Sharpshooter Fallacy to Andy. Corry 14:25, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

He's not even trying anymore. I mean, I can't imagine that of all the words left in the dictionary, "straightforward" and "quantify" are the most conservative. What's next, up? Over? Aboveground? We need to start taking bets. Z3rotalk 14:31, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
I have a sneaky suspicion he's working his way through the collected speeches of St. Ronnie and seeing which words crop up more than once. --PsyGremlinWhut? 14:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
Well it's a conservative term cause liberals lie. if you are 'straighforward' you cannot have any deceit. to quantify something is to be open and honest and not use liberal deciet of generic terms like "some", "many" or most. When you quantify, you get to say specific things like "70% of all Hollywood actresses have breast cancer" regardless of having done any actuarial studies, just cause you've *quantified* the term "many". See, it's all logical, folks.--Sun mowse.pngEn attendant Godot"«Poetry involves the mysteries of the irrational perceived through rational words. V.Nabokov» 15:14, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
I think the list is just a collection of words that make him feel good. -Lardashe
I'm surprised there aren't any socks adding words to that page. Is it locked? 15:19, 13 May 2009 (UTC)::::And of course the only liberal terms there are, are things like "abortion", "late term abortion" "atheism", "same-sex marraige" (which isn't *really* a word), etc - few and far between, such uncreative and evil liberal. And since the Conservatives get "pencil", "computer", "iced tea", "November", "hand cream" (for women only, any men's cosmetics are liberal, of course) - then of course the conservative words grow exponentially. --Sun mowse.pngEn attendant Godot"«Poetry involves the mysteries of the irrational perceived through rational words. V.Nabokov» 15:20, 13 May 2009 (UTC) (edit conflict)
Hand cream for men is RARELY used as a cosmetic, but it's frowned upon by conservatives even moreso. The Foxhole Atheist 15:51, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

There are socks adding terms to the list. 16:01, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

This is interesting- The word "creationism" is listed as a liberal term, with the "definition": 'like most "isms", creationism is a derogatory term coined preferred (sic) most by opponents of it.' Bad grammar aside, one would think that IF the term was coined by opponents of creationism, then the term creationism would not be the preferred term on CP, and "creationism" would have an entry which spells out how the term was coined, and how only liberals use it, and we use the term "Godmadeit" or whatever. Having our cake and eating it too, eh? Jimaginator 16:49, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
Not only is it the preferred term, ITS ON THE MAIN PAGE. Unless Ken is using the term derogatorily. Is that a word?--CWaddell 21:34, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
Is "cake" a conservative word? Cake is tasty, but it makes you fat. And conservative values guard against obesity, except for Rush Limbaugh. So cake must be liberal. But it's not the government's job to tell us not to eat cake, so it must be a conservative word. Perfect geometric expansion! Corry 17:46, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
@Jimaginator: This is/was one of Andy's weirder obsessions. See also cp:Debate:Creationist. If it had been up to him, there would have been a big sweep to change all those "creationist" references. --Sid 18:59, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

It would be rather nice if someone gave Andy access to the OED site, it disagrees with almost all the dates TehArse quotes. But hang on, it's Oxford and you know what their professors are like... LateralQuercus 00:56, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

Liberal term growth[edit]

I just noticed in the 1700's liberals had 2 new words, 1800's 9 and 1900's 27, they are tripling every century. That means even though Conservative terms had a one or two century head start and a large initial number, because they are only doubling every century, eventually Liberal term will outstrip Conservative terms. Yeah Andy's word project. - π 03:32, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

Nice work, except you skipped the 1900s. The only new liberal words in the 1990s were "My Lai" and "Precious bodily fluids". Why? Feminism and Racial Quotas! ħumanUser talk:Human 03:40, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
Ooops, thanks. Now it is geometric. - π 04:12, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
The Liberal Creep is now affecting English too, socialists like Obama support liberal words because these words deny faith, chivalry, beauty of autumn folliage and Newton's action at a distance, and enforce abortion, gun control, mental illness and humor before christ's time. Just another instance of liberals using liberal deceit. FlareTalk 14:58, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

Mystery time![edit]

Yay, And came up with another Mystery article! cp:Mystery:Why Is the Kilogram Losing Weight?

Of course, it is immediately referenced to from the regular mainspace to make scientists look like clueless idiots. --Sid 22:41, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

At least this one is legitimately a mystery. The article is fairly interesting, and it provides a variety of possible explanations. It's ultimately not a very interesting mystery. The more interesting part of the article is figuring out a way to concoct a new method of measuring a K. -Lardashe
Actually the answer to why Le Grand K mass is differing compared to the other cylinders is very easy to explain. The French buggered up the alloy for the cylinders. Now if they had used gold.......they could have called the whole thing a waste of time, made up a figure for a kilogram based on nothing physical, and then pawned the gold cylinders when times get rough. After all, that has been the standard for Imperial measurement countries for years.-- 00:09, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
As Abraham Simpson says:
The metric system is the tool of the devil! My car gets forty rods to the hogshead and that's the way I likes it!
-Corry 00:34, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
It never ceases to amaze that for every topic there is a Simpson's quote and an xkcd comic about it. It helps those of us not funny ourselves to contribute humorously to the conversation. - π 00:38, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
Just shows how Simpsons used to be well-written and XKCD still is. --Kels 13:16, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

This metaphor is actually perfect[edit]

A glimpse of truth from  K e n  D o l l ?

Think about it: "creationism" is the bull; a big, dumb, angry animal that's chasing around "evolution"; the dominant, much more intelligent species.

Ken, I got news for you: people yell "Olé" when the bull misses and uh, oh yeah...the bull always dies. — Unsigned, by: Neveruse513 / talk / contribs 00:43, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

In what context is that picture used? Simply linking to the picture is somewhat uninformative. LateralQuercus 01:02, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
It's usually what is happening to evolution on the internets as a result of some operation or other. Ole! Damn, I forgotten the word I learned that was for when the bull tosses the bullfighter. ħumanUser talk:Human 01:10, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
For instance, it's on the main page now. It's always along the lines of "the CP evolution article charges ahead! watch out atheists! Ole!". — Unsigned, by: Neveruse513 / talk / contribs 01:42, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

With the meth-addled, typo-riddled caption: "The future of Conservapedia's evolution article appears to be very bullish! A creationist just unexpectedly told Conservapedia that he is going to inform tens of thousands of people about the Conservapedia evolution article! A well known creationist is going to email 600 fellow creationist about the Conservapedia evolution article. Evolutionists, you can run from Conservapedia's evolution article, but you cannot hide! Creationists of the world, spread the news about Conservapedia's evolution article far and wide and quickly! Faster, stronger, higher!" -  K e n  D o l l . ħumanUser talk:Human 03:48, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

 K e n  D o l l  is an experiment in what happens when you're banned from using the words "it", "him", "they" etc. 15:22, 14 May 2009 (UTC)


Hi Ken, in regards to your latest regards I think you should put the link on to the mainpage now and take 40 edits to get it right. Then put the picture of the car crushing the can and a bull and matador up also and spend another 40 edits getting the size right. OK? Thanks! Ace McWickedDisco Jesus 02:55, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

I owe  K e n  D o l l  an apology. I always thought his article on evolution was a quote-mined pile of shit. After having read that article he is linking to, I realise what a quote-mined pile of shit actual looks like. They have an even worse article then  K e n D o l l ' s  and they then tarted with his shitty Hitler picture. This is why supports of evolution rarely debate these people, it gives them reflected creditability even talking to them. - π 03:01, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
I particularly like point 2. They are actually undermining their own creation science by not allowing for changes in the radioactive decay rate, etc. Mjollnir.svgListenerXTalkerX 04:30, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
Beautiful Kenning, Dog. ToastToastand marmite 05:54, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
Not only do they start with a Hitler picture, they bellow a Hitler speech out of your speakers. Seriously? Also, on their front page (which uses frames or something similarly unpleasant) they have this funny blurb in a bible sellin' section- "Not only are these Bibles a fascinating display of antique craftsmanship and attractive illustrations, they are also loaded with Biblical information." A bible is loaded with biblical information. Nice. Corry 13:08, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
Countdown to  K e n  D o l l  adding soundfiles to everything in sight, including the mainpage in 4...3...2.... --PsyGremlinWhut? 13:18, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
He was trying to get Phantom Hoover's music to work once, it doesn't as CP does not have the mp3flashplayer extension. He also tried the video embed once in one of his shout out, which only gave me more to laugh at. He obviously spends a lot of time looking at our site, we rarely have either of those things on this page. - π 13:30, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
He's also tried to taunt us by feeding various pages here into his SEO-O-MATIC and crow about how much better we could do, except nobody here cares about our Google rankings. He assumes we all have the same messed up priorities as him. --Kels 15:07, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

Wid we went over this yet?[edit]

In CP's article about Young mass murderers, "wore all black, indicative of anti-Christianity" has appeared in one or more people. Don't priests/nuns use to wear black clothing?
and is this asking for "We conservatives don't kill alone; we go in groups"?
(They don't have an article on lynching, apparently) Thieh[Talk needed] 04:57, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

Both here & on CP (where it was reverted of course) the black clothing/priests (and Andy, of course) link has been made. ToastToastand marmite 05:05, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
Yup. Wasn't Andy's revised argument basically "Wearing black with the intent to do anti-Christian things indicates their anti-Christian stance"? --Sid 11:42, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
Yup, one of the best ever responses I ever managed to goad out of the assfly.-- 14:18, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

Another day in the life slow death of CP[edit]

In the 24 hours that were May 13th, there were:

  • 350 entries in recent changes (one every 4.1 minutes)

of these, there were:

    • 27 New Users
    • 34 Blocks (including 17 of the new users and 7 range blocks) (TK and Jpatt share the honours here)
    • 12 Pages protected (including TK's talk page)
    • 11 Pages deleted
    • 31 Edits reverted (TK and JPatt doing most of the covering up)

This leaves 235 actual edits, of which:

    • 35 were minor edits
    • 19 were template or Mainpageright
    • 18 User Talk pages
    • 40 Talk pages
    • 7 user pages

This leaves 116 actual mainspace edits, of which

    • 66 were by Sysops (49 alone by RJJ and TerryH)
    • 24 by non-blocked users (half of these by FOIA and Jinx)
    • 26 by subsequently blocked and reverted users

The slow death by self-strangulation continues. --PsyGremlinWhut? 09:22, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

How do those numbers compare with RW? --Sun mowse.pngEn attendant Godot"«Poetry involves the mysteries of the irrational perceived through rational words. V.Nabokov» 14:41, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
Well, if pull up the most recent 500 changes on WP, it covers the 3 minutes from 16h01 to 16h04. (oh and 1 block - anon only - and no protections and 3 deletions.) --PsyGremlinWhut? 16:08, 14 May 2009 (UTC) (and just realised you said RW, not WP. I blame old age)
Interesting! When the lectures are completed, the traffic will slow down even further, and we'll miss model answers like The war [i.e., WWII] started in 1939 when France and Britain declared war on Germany. ... larronsicut fur in nocte 09:35, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
"I don't think you've fully addressed the question" followed shortly by "80/80. Well done!". Sheer poetry Cantabrigian 11:34, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
I dunno, there might be a chance for more lulz there. Andy doesn't start one course on the heels of another, so there's a period where he's got nothing particular to do. And what does Andy do when he gets bored? Essay time!! --Kels 13:10, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
Oh, I reckon there are going to be yet more lectures coming: Creationism Lectures, Physics Lectures, Chemistry Lectures, and Religious Christianity rules, everything else drools Lectures.-- 14:21, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
There will, but if there's, say, a two-week gap between courses and as we all know Andy only spends an hour or two before each lecture doing research, he'll have a lot of free time for the batshit crazy. --Kels 15:01, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

Oh, and just realised something. If the number of contributions by anyone on CP nears zero, all Andy will think and say is that Conservapedia has reached both completion and perfection, a shining example of conservatism, unlike the liberalism of Wikipedia, which being liberal is inherently wrong and that is the reason why the number of edits made to Wikipedia will never drop even close to zero.-- 14:25, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

You know, I think he's just deranged enough for that to make sense in his head. Now roll for SAN before progressing further. ENorman 15:03, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
Failed Roll—Wibble.-- 19:22, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

New Relativity WIGO[edit]

I like how Andy's dismissal of the clock experiment amounts to "They didn't win a Nobel Prize." I guess I should stop reading Shakespeare. He never won a Nobel Prize. Nor that nice Jesus fellow. --Purple George!YossieSpring in Fialta 19:57, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

Isn't the Nobel prize only awarded to evil lib'ruls anyway? I can't keep up with Andy's doublethink. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 20:04, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
Basically, if something doesn't earn a Nobel Prize and it's something Andy doesn't like, the Nobel Prize is good. If it's something Andy does like and/or American, the Nobel Committee is a bunch of America-hating child molesters. ENorman 21:20, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
Maybe let's just discredit ID because neither God Nor any of those people who made up the Idea of ID won any Nobel Prize. ThiehLooking for potion recipes 22:31, 14 May 2009 (UTC)


So what the fuck is this then? A conservapedia vandal site where they retranslate all the CP pages into spanish then back to english? Weird. Ace McWickedDisco Jesus 21:37, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

I think they translate the pages into some other form of English, then treat the pages as if they are written in Spanish. K61824ZOYG I edit like Kenservative! 22:33, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
It might be interesting when they add their third article... ħumanUser talk:Human 23:20, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

Someone needs a time out[edit]

 K e n  D o l l  tries hard to get more attentionNo one cares!. In other news, CP gets a new otaku! Ken wants some attention, dammit! And look, Michele Bachmann helped out 23 foster kids. Why won't anyone pay Ken some attention? --Irrational Atheist 22:56, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

I liked how he linked [[Atheism|Conservapedia's Homosexuality Article]]. Epic LULZ! The Emperor Kneel before Zod! 23:59, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

I like the goats in the pretty picture...Amin7b5 00:05, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
Those aren't goats, they're sheep! Makes more sense, really... ħumanUser talk:Human 00:19, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
I liked how in "Windmill Ministries recently released its article on the theory of evolution. The Windmill Ministries theory of evolutionary article is quite informative and energetic and can be found HERE" he links to their article twice. Ken always repeats himself. And of course made a grammar error. ħumanUser talk:Human 00:21, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
Luffy is just more noticable now that Jess is gone. God, I rewrote his death note article, then Andy deleted it (the only thing I did worthwhile at CP)--Nate River 00:59, 15 May 2009 (UTC)


This gave me an albeit, cheap laugh. But check out the references and external links section. Ken writes like a 4 year old. Ace McWickedDisco Jesus 03:15, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

Breakdown of ken's '20 Videos'[edit]

I love this guy. He brags about how 19 of the 20 videos are positive of Conservapedia when searched for under Here's how they break down:

14x video from a 17-part video series from a whacko who seems to be a conspiracy nut who has a link to CP in the sidebar.

1x video from the same nut above who attempts to humourously use a scene from one of the Ace Ventura films to show how evolution is fake - but only succeeds in showing his own ignorance.

1x video by what  K e n  D o l l  dismisses as a 'whiny evolutionist with no popularity'.

1x video extolling the repeatedly-debunked claim of 'Darwinism leads to Hitler', with, at the time of this writing, 24 views, one less than the 'unpopular whiny evolutionist' above, yet has been on there since April 30th, 10 days before the 'whiny evolutionists' video was posted.

2x video that is a two-part series extolling the same debunked claim as above, but also adds communism into it.

1x video from a guy who is trying to make a point of some kind, but I don't know what it is, exactly, other than 'Barack Obama is evil', or something like it, which, again, simply has a link to CP in the sidebar.

Zmidponk 11:55, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

Yeah but the 19 that aren't the evolutionist appear supportive of Conservapedia.  K e n  D o l l  never actively lies, he just strings fact together in a unique and special way that is overall wrong. - π 13:01, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
I admit that I am a little bummed... My "ConservaHitler" (a link would be blatant self-promotion and it's filtered from my office, anyway) video wasn't even mentioned and I was mainly trying to bust  K e n  D o l l 's chops with it in the first place. Oh well... The Foxhole Atheist 15:13, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
OK it's old news now but I hadn't seen this one before.
And by the way Foxhole, was this the video you meant? Redchuck.gif ГенгисYou have the right to be offended; and I have the right to offend you. 18:23, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
Yeah, that's the one, Ghengis. Thanks much for the link. It's still at 4.5 stars (out of 11 ratings and 140 views) now that I look at it. The Foxhole Atheist 22:16, 15 May 2009 (UTC)


Dunno who's keeping tabs of all these, but here's a few more from TrollKing.


--PsyGremlinWhut? 08:35, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

I believe he should simply block everyone except admins/sysops (since these guys are doing all the meaningful edits anyways). That way it's simpler. K61824Ask me for relationship advice 14:25, 14 May 2009 (UTC)


Fuck yeah! Almost half million more IP addresses were blocked today and we're not even in night mode yet! Keep it up! Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svgUser:Nutty Roux/sigtalk 23:00, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

Ed Poor rides to the rescue on a slow day[edit]

In the good old days this would hardly justify a mention, but I like the pic AND the comment. Also, fans of the professor will want to check out his timely and thoughtful commentary on CP and Tim's resignation here. --Simple 19:44, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

Ooo! Professor 188 has a toy. --Purple George!YossieSpring in Fialta 19:57, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
Ah the mode of transport for the man too wimpy even to own a moped. At least when you see Sir Clive buzzing around on his, you know he at least invented the bloody thing and probably built it himself. Ed just looks like the worst kind of nerd. Pedal yourself, you lazy fuck. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 20:08, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
It looks like it has one of those tiny 2 stroke engines that go maybe 5 MPH so fat feet never need push a pedal, all the while belching clouds of blue smoke and waking people up in their apartments a block away. It would be consistent with the shit CP tried taking on Earth Hour. Ed probably has a 2 stroke generator running 24/7 on the roof of his apartment powering his air conditioner when he's out riding his "bike," which has its own 2 stroke headlamp and a 2 stroke CB radio. Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svgUser:Nutty Roux/sigtalk 22:26, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
Nah, it's a bike with a little battery powered motor for assist on hills. I used to live around the corner from a shop that sold them, along with folding bikes. A two stroke CB would be pretty cool, though. Maybe the antenna would also require combustion, if it was long enough. Corry 01:51, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
Holy shit, it really was our Ed. (Third last post.) Vulpius 22:32, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
(EC) As I recall, a year, maybe a year and I half ago, we linked to the news story that used this photo, maybe on WIGO CP...Never mind, Captain Obvious to the rescue....Amin7b5 22:33, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
Don't you dare bag on ebikes - I'm a proud rider of one. Though that bike that Ed is apparently riding (still can't quite believe that) is a dreadful yoke - weighs about 100lbs and can barely be cycled at all. Mine weighs about 65lbs which is hell of a lot easier to deal with, and is a normal bicycle, with a motor. And a honking lead-acid battery. DogPMarmite Patrol Info here 02:19, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
I rag for the lulz. Your ebike is rad and you know it, even if it weighs 65 pounds and you remind me of Ed Poor paddling up Lex on his turdmobile. Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svgUser:Nutty Roux/sigtalk 02:22, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

Here is a link to find the pic in another context. Or is this to stalkeresque? At least, it left a smile on my face... larronsicut fur in nocte 04:54, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

Ed looks a lot skinnier than he does on his CP profile pic. Also I love the "insulated from all human contact" comment from the link above. If only that were still true... although it does explain a great deal. --PsyGremlinWhut? 15:17, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

Is it any surprise ...[edit]

... that we are CP's biggest "also visited"? (and that they're ours?) ToastToastand marmite 04:39, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

What is doing at our "also visited"? do we have nothing to do other than choosing between watching CP and that? I don't find it surprising though; afterall we are the ones who need to read their pages in order to make fun of them. and I am surprised that google doesn't track the visits of RW. K61824ZOYG I edit like Kenservative! 04:46, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
Not really, in the grand scheme of things we are small pretty irrelevant site. We have basically three things to offer as far as Google is concerned; Conservapedia, Andrew Schlafly and Poe's Law. - π 04:56, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
... and this (whatever it is). ToastToastand marmite 05:26, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
We used to have the number one recipe for meth until some fascist here censored it. - π 05:30, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
Of course, that meth recipe was something we "stole" from CP... incest is best, I guess... ħumanUser talk:Human 06:06, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
Actually we are number 1 at search engine starting with G for Ken DeMyer, that is quite a good laugh considering the amount of emphasis he puts on Google rankings. - π 04:59, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
Definitely no surprise. But we are very high in the google rankings for other things. "Ask Darwinists" for instance, ranks RW 4th. And some of the more obscure individuals that have articles here bring up RW. I don't think anyone is under the impression that RW is a large and important site, though. Scarlet A.pnggnostic 12:32, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

homosexuals/ atheist[edit]

Pardon the poor joke, but when it comes to Homosexuals, for  K e n  D o l l , bigger is always better (Sorry, I am in school, and don't really have the mental capacity to think of a better one). Now, lets all make stupid jokes regarding homosexuality,  K e n  D o l l  and the importance of size.

Conservapedia's evolution article is thrusting ahead! Atheism on the internet will soon be violated by Conservapedia's evolution article's throbbing member! Harder, deeper, faster! 13:30, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

Geometric fit - still waiting[edit]

"I'm also working on a few possibilities for 1700s and 1800s to perfect the geometric fit, but yours is better than mine.--Andy Schlafly 12:15, 14 May 2009 (EDT)" --- I"M STILL waiting for Andy to explain what a "geometric fit" is. I really thinks he means to say logarithmic or exponential... but being andy, he wouldn't know.--Sun mowse.pngEn attendant Godot"«Poetry involves the mysteries of the irrational perceived through rational words. V.Nabokov» 17:24, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

A geometric series is of the form a_n = ar^{(n-1)}. When you actually deal with them in mathematics, it's usually the case that r < 1, because then the series converges to \frac {a} {1-r}. Why he insists on referring to this as a "geometric fit" is simply beyond me. Well, actually, it's because he's totally fucking insane, but whatever... I guess it's technically correct, but a normal person would call it "exponential growth". — Unsigned, by: Neveruse513 / talk / contribs 17:49, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
I thought that geometric fit is what Andy throws whenever someone disagrees with him. Vulpius 17:59, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
At one point his little list was close to doubling every century, and he got a bug up his ass about it. Funny thing is, he's trying to cram it into exactly doubling, when any "factor" (tripling, *1.25, whatever) would be geometric. That is, he is fixated on r=2. That is probably all he understands of geometric progressions, of course. ħumanUser talk:Human 19:00, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
I'm much more amused by Andy being so completely thrilled again and again:
Andy: "Wow! We have soon compiled exactly the number of items to have geometric growth! This will totally prove that conservative terms have geometric growth!"
Andy: "Wow! We have achieved exactly geometric growth! This totally proves that conservative terms have have geometric growth!"
Andy: "Wow! The rate is even higher than geometric growth! That totally proves that conservative terms are becoming more and more popular!"
Andy: "Wow! We have soon compiled exactly the number of items to have geometric growth! This will totally prove that conservative terms have geometric growth!"
It's like watching a dog chase his own tail. --Sid 19:10, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
My favorite is how he seems to have no idea that a) he's defining what a conservative term is and b) he's picking how many terms are used. It'd be like getting all excited because you performed a study where 30 people had the same birthday, but you knew before hand everyone's birthday. Z3rotalk 19:16, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
This has been one of my favorite bits of Andy's inanity. It's a perfect example of the Texas sharpshooter fallacy. Corry 21:31, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
It's more asking 30 people their birthday, arbitrarily categorize them as "red" or "blue" and getting all excited because they all have a blue birthday. FlareTalk 21:45, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
I find it particularly odd that he should be so fixated on r = 2 in light of point 12 here (and the associated talk-page discussion).-- Kriss AkabusiAAAWOOOGAAAR!!1 22:19, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
Neveruse, my bad. I thought when you explained it before, you were being tongue in cheek. You have to understand. My knowledge of math stopped when it exceeded on hand. (6*7 is WHAT?)--Sun mowse.pngEn attendant Godot"«Poetry involves the mysteries of the irrational perceived through rational words. V.Nabokov» 23:24, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

EaG, how could you set up such a delightful straight line? The answer, of course, is 42. ħumanUser talk:Human 00:57, 16 May 2009 (UTC)

The answer is *always* 42, which doesn't help my math any.--Sun mowse.pngEn attendant Godot"«Poetry involves the mysteries of the irrational perceived through rational words. V.Nabokov» 01:08, 16 May 2009 (UTC)