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Conservapedia talk:What is going on at CP?/Archive229

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Ah, now we know what the "90 days' leave" was for[edit]

Oh dear, did get up on the wrong side of Karajou's bed this morning? "Three daffy American academics..." "The rude, socially challenged and nasty atheists at the Richard Dawkins' website..." Good to see you crapping all over Andy's blog with your liberal name-calling.

Still, it's comforting to see that the "Conservapedia anti-atheism invasion of Britain is a smashing success" and "the Conservapedia anti-evolution invasion of Britain is on the very cusp of success." However, you might want to speak to Andy about all the 403 blocks that are preventing the Poms from actually seeing your imaginary invasion. --PsyGremlin話しなさい 09:42, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

That's all part of the plan. How can we counter what we can't see? EddyP Great King! Disaster! 10:19, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
I'd be more inclined to believe them if the remaining Conservapedia sysops who I've seen speak about Britain knew anything about this country or proper naming conventions for it. Up until then they can waste their time on their piece of shit blog which about 3/4ths of the world can't see anyway. And "tally-ho"? What the fuck is that? The most common phrase I hear when I'm out is "keep walking or I'll smash your face into the kerb." SJ Debaser 10:35, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
What do you expect from extreme nationalists? A thorough and nuanced understanding of British culture and European history? Scarlet A.pngd hominem 10:44, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
It sounds like Ken's knowledge of England has been gleaned from Biggles books and James Robertson Justice films. --PsyGremlinПоговорите! 11:21, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
could you please post a screen capture?--Brxbrx (talk) 12:03, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

Here you goimg --PsyGremlinHable! 12:18, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

I was just wondering, how could Conservapedia think that breast cancer and abortion are related? I tried to change a few things related to this, but they banned me for 5 years. 5 years, for no vandalism. I guess the truth is a crime. I really do wish that ignorance was a crime, because all of them should be arrested! (Oh, and on a different subject, have you seen their article calling Pokemon "satanic"?) User: Lefty

Welcome to conserapedia my friend! You have a lot to learn! DeltaStarSenior SysopSpeciationspeed! 12:22, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Indeed, PalMD already pulled that stunt years ago. With scien-ma-tific citations too. Didn't work then and they're even more trigger happy now. Scarlet A.pngd hominem 12:29, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
It is known that women who have had children are less likely to develop breast cancer than women who never have had children. However, AFAIK, there has been no study comparing abstinence, condom use, assorted pills, and abortion for rates of breast cancer. CS Miller (talk) 12:31, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
The same logic Andy uses also states that a shit-ton of fucking makes one less likely to get breast cancer than abstinence does. You won't hear him say that though. DickTurpis (talk) 12:45, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Andy's logic on the matter goes more or less as follows: the people who pay me say there's a link, and it sounds like something mommy would approve of. Therefore, the link is true and anyone who says otherwise is lying. --Kels (talk) 23:52, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

Ken's lack of intellect[edit]

I think the much larger point with Ken's "daffy scientists swiftly rebuffedimg" MPR item is that the entire argument in the link he provides to the National Post is that people declaring "no religion" is meaningless and doesn't mean that they are atheist. As we all know, that runs exactly counter to the argument Ken and Andy make to say certain states are atheistic--and suffer problems for it--because they have a higher portion of people who declare "no religion". These guys change their arguments more frequently than a whore changes underwear. They'll argue anything that fits what they want to say in a particular moment. --Leotardo (talk) 13:55, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

One of the amusing things in that National Post article is that it makes a big thing that "about one-quarter of the 16% in the no religion category are under the age of fifteen; they are so-described by their parents." Surely even the most dimwitted god botherer must realise that means that the same is true about the 84% in the "religious" category? –SuspectedReplicant retire me 14:06, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

De-wikify[edit]

Yes indeed Andy. Why would a wiki encyclopaedia need a link to an actor? Or the Appian Wayimg for that matter? Or Australia's Nullabor Plain and Blue Mountains?img Could it be because there's nobody left to write those articles? The conversion of CP from enyclopaedia to blog, continues unabated. --PsyGremlinRunāt! 12:59, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

Blogs needs readers. cp no longer has any of those since they 403'd most of us. Oldusgitus (talk) 13:55, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Once they get to blocking Capturebot we're done for. Scarlet A.pngd hominem 14:31, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
That's always surprised me. If I was in Andy's position it's the first thing I'd try to block. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 14:37, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
but how does he know who to block?--Brxbrx (talk) 16:08, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
I'd guess it's from the server logs - you can see which IP addresses are accessing the web server and block accordingly. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 16:26, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Please do not teach them how to block captureBOT. And for CP sysops, keep in mind that capturebot is the only way people get to read CP now. --Opcn (talk) 19:36, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

While Kajagoogoo struggles to make a funny evolution cartoon[edit]

A competent comics writer/artist shows it can be done. P-Foster (talk) 21:11, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

See, the operative word there is "competent". --Kels (talk) 23:46, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

I seem to have 403'd[edit]

can anyone post the CP ban log please, that I might see why?--Brxbrx (talk) 05:11, 29 March 2011 (UTC)

Did you get the 403 message, or was it just down? Because it's been down again and again all freaking day, even from the proxy my last remaining sock edits from (which is based in newjersy). --Opcn (talk) 05:45, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
Helpful link: http://www.downforeveryoneorjustme.com/conservapedia.com
--larronsicut fur in nocte 05:47, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
says I aren't allowed to access site, also, my tab says "403 error"--Brxbrx (talk) 05:53, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
Suck, you probably got swept up in a range block to try and fix this DDoS shit. --Opcn (talk) 06:01, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
Yep, it seems like they've 403ed most of the planet. My (unblocked, believe it or not) direction connection is 403ed, as are all of my usual proxies. (Oh, and btw Brxbrx, being 403ed is not the same as being blocked from editing the wiki, so it wont show up in the block log. you idiot) DeltaStarSenior SysopSpeciationspeed! 06:12, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
chaps, this website really does seem to be down now, doen't it. I hopes Anonymous has anything to do with this, as we are far to busy DDOS'ing RIAA, and Libyian government websites. heh. LordSlug 誇らしげに2008年からソファの上に手の平 06:09, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
(edit clash) Also, why is all the text blue??? LordSlug 誇らしげに2008年からソファの上に手の平 06:22, 29 March 2011 (UTC) EDIT: That fixed it
I'm now out as well. My home IP was 403'd (and has been for weeks) but I used tor if I really wanted some amusement at home. Tor stopped connecting this morning, generally with a 502 error. However my work IP has always been able to view cp but now can't. Can anyone explain how, if they are gradually 403'ing the entire world, assfly and anger bear can still genuinely think their silly little blog is growing and will continue to grow to become the wonderful educational resource they still seem to think it can be? Oldusgitus (talk) 07:46, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
okay, i just got both a 403 AND a 404 error in one.

Forbidden You don't have permission to access / on this server.

Additionally, a 404 Not Found error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request.

LordSlug 誇らしげに2008年からソファの上に手の平 07:50, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
That's just the standard error message for a web server that hasn't been configured properly. Immortalised here. Karajerk's post is really funny. Since we know he reads this site, he must realise that our way of mocking him are the alternative versions of his idiotic toons. It's not us doing the DDS, Angry Bear. So many people are put off right wing politics by your hate blog that no liberal would ever take it down. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 08:16, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
I'll be sads if CP pulls a TK --Opcn (talk) 08:34, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
Can anyone update what ranges are now 403 blocked? EddyP Great King! Disaster! 08:41, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
I think it's still the same ranges (77, 80-82, 84-86). Certainly my two IP ranges outside that set still get access (when the site's up). The current problems aren't about range blocks - this is a DDoS attack. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 08:52, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
I do not condone the DDoS (in fact it's pissing me off) but what can you expect when you try to excluded people on the internet?--Opcn (talk) 08:59, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
I live in Arizona. Are you guys saying Conservepedia has blocked Arizona? Oh, and i got the same message lord slug got--Brxbrx (talk) 09:22, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
It's quite possible. Andy's simple-minded view of the Internet says that everybody with an IP address starting with those digits is an evil liberal. It's not that simple. Terry Chuckarse was 403'ed once, for instance. Go to this site and it'll tell you what your IP address is. If it doesn't start with one of those digits, CP has expanded its block range. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 09:29, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
my IP starts with 68--Brxbrx (talk) 09:30, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
Wow. At this rate they'll 403 the whole world and end up sitting in their little castle, still desperately claiming that the site is growing rapidly. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 09:43, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
Much of Europe is already 403'd is it not? If they have now also started on areas in the US then that is it for cp. It's over. Close the door, afix the padlock and throw the key away andy. Oldusgitus (talk) 10:02, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
He'll never shut it down. Even if it literally means blocking the entire planet from seeing it, he'll do that before turning off the server and like SR said, sit their and claim they are growing rapidly. SJ Debaser 10:17, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
My IP starts with 188 and has been 403'ed since they started 403ing. EddyP Great King! Disaster! 12:41, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
It seems the final seclusion of CP continues unabated. I'm now 403'd for the first time. It looks like we really are reaching the point where CP only remains available to a small part of the US - like the Bibbel Belt. Still, thank goodness for TOR.--PsyGremlinSprich! 13:06, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
alexa ranking: I think this says there's been a 30% spike in traffic in the last seven days--Brxbrx (talk) 13:20, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
What's funny with this is that whilst a 403 block might be a good temporary measure against a DDoS, on CP the blocks will be until the entropy death of the universe, and thus CP will retreat to where it belongs - a stagnant little backwater of the intertubes. Goodbye Alexa ranking and all that goes with it. Hell, block the right IPs, goodbye Google ranking. --PsyGremlinSpeak! 14:11, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
For those of you who know and remember 2000AD here in the UK this is like the 4 dark judges. All crime is committed by the living therefore the ultimate crime is living. You are all judged and the penalty is death.
In this case all parody is carried out by users of the intertubes so the best way to prevent parody is to prevent editing by users of the intertubes. They tried restricting registration and this failed so they are now going to restrict viewing. Soon noone will be able to see their hate blog and the world, according to anger bear and the assfly, will be pure and VERY simple. Oldusgitus (talk) 14:22, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
I'm 72.xxx..xxx.xxx and am 403'd. It's disappearing up its own fundament! DogP (talk) 15:43, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
I'm not saying what mine is, but it's now 403'ed too. It looks like they really have blocked half the planet this time. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 15:49, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
I'm a returning visitor to 403-Land, too. It's a pain to miss the idiocy insights and high-quality encyclopedia articles, but on the other hand, I wanted to be productive anyway, so not checking CP x times per day (and losing all faith in manking) would be a welcome development. --Sid (talk) 18:34, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
Me too. They've even blocked my servers, which have 90.x.x.x addresses. I get the impression that now more people are blocked from CP than can view it. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 19:33, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
It looks like there are at least 15 /8 blocks now out of 239 total (16 /8 blocks are multicast IP addresses). That would mean over 1/16 of the planet is blocked, and I dare say the actual figure is higher and we just haven't found the other numbers yet. Bye bye, CP. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 19:38, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
Well, it works for me. Nebuchadnezzar (talk) 19:39, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
I suspect whoever carried out the attack knew full well that Andy would block a huge number of IP ranges in response. 74.65.142.115 (talk) 23:46, 31 March 2011 (UTC)

Arbitrary Break[edit]

This xkcd map is five years old now but gives some rough idea of what they've probably blocked. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 19:42, 29 March 2011 (UTC)

It's my dearest wish that they've now blocked the googlebot. Imagine how Kendoll will cry. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 19:54, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
Today's IPv4 Internet is basically that, except all the green outside the top-right corner is either built on, or has a surveyor measuring for the foundations to be erected next week. The top-right corner probably shouldn't have been confusingly green grass in the original diagram, since there's no way to use any of that address space for Unicast IP addresses without a time machine. Ten points to anyone who gets Andy to ban either a class D or class E address. Fifty points if they get him to accidentally ban the entire Internet leaving him and other admins wondering why it's so quiet. 82.69.171.94 (talk) 01:21, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

aagh![edit]

I can't take this anymore, I need cp (boy that sounds wrong)! someone please give me schlafly's email (preferably through the email user function- can't remember why I want it like that, but I had a good reason), maybe I can get him to make an exception for me--Brxbrx (talk) 05:56, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

Here in Italy (IP starting with 213) I've been 403'd since I arrived in January, but maybe that's simply part of the blanket blocks targeted at Europe. άλφαTalk 07:57, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
They have now 403'd me at work as well. My work ip covers the entire european orgainsation, not just the UK based employees. Which suggests to me that they have simply decided to 403 almost everyone on the basis that if they do that then noone will laugh at them, enter parody, or ddos them. Bit of a bugger really as I don't have tor at work so I can't read their insanity until I get home now. Oldusgitus (talk) 08:13, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

I've joined the 403 club! They've really gone to the deep end this time - they've blocked Finland! My my, this is going to throw a really big spanner in Ken's SEO. How can they flourish when they're ignoring such an important demographic! Don't the other Conservapedia sysops know know how big Conservapedia is in Finland??? --wwwwolf (barks/growls) 10:32, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

Are the googlebots for each country's google ran locally from that country, or are they all on a central (probably US) server? DeltaStarSenior SysopSpeciationspeed! 12:29, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Wasn't Google moving its servers to Iceland or something?  Lily Inspirate me. 15:46, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
I think there's just one index, and the results are just weighted based on your location. Google does have datacenters and caches all over the world (Finland!), though, so they can serve queries fast in that particular area. And if they run bots locally, it'd only make sense if those bots crawled the geographical area (e.g. US bots looking at US sites). --wwwwolf (barks/growls) 08:50, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
Random addition: Yeah, just yesterday, I was wondering what would happen if they actually went and 403-blocked Googlebot. That would be fascinating. Also: in retrospect, it's probably not that surprising that my ISP is blocked. They saw "dnainternet.fi" in reverse lookup and went "Aaaaaaaa! Evilutionist!" =) --wwwwolf (barks/growls) 08:58, 31 March 2011 (UTC)

so[edit]

no go on schlafly's email? I really love cp...--Brxbrx (talk) 15:43, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

conservapedia@zoho.com DeltaStarSenior SysopSpeciationspeed! 16:13, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

Kara's New "Toon"[edit]

Oh dear. Once again, our favourite swabbie is stuck in a rut. Remember the 3 dozen evilution "cartoons" in a row, because he couldn't get his brain out of neutral? Now we're going to be lumped with a string of "PZ is fat." For all his faults, at least TK ad the sense to look at Ken's work and say, "WTF?" Peopeye, simpering goon that he is, just kneels in front of Ken and spreads his cheeks.

Now, Kara, let me make this perfectly clear: We're not outraged, or offended, by your "cartoon". We simply think it is a) not funny b) nonsensical (especially as you miss the point of PZ poking fun of the Creation Museum having dinosaurs in the first place) and c) you're pathetic for jumping on the idealogical bandwagon, when you have similar problems closer to home to deal with. Actually, scrap that - your pathetic hypocrisy outrages me. --PsyGremlinHable! 09:42, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

Can somebody upload a clean version? I haven't seen this latest shining example from the new Charles Schultz yet. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 09:56, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Here you go Until the parody versions start to appear. --PsyGremlinTala! 10:14, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Thanks. That is without doubt the least coherent one yet. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 10:25, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
The "PeeZee's Big Adventure" being a pun on Pee Wee's Big Adventure is fairly funny, actually. But the fat joke is kinda lame. I know the word "lame" is itself lame, but sometimes no other word actually fits. Scarlet A.pngd hominem 10:47, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
No one else is outraged by this?! A retired Navy man, supposed to protect and serve his country, bullying a scientist and internet blogger!? I've half a mind to call the US Navy and let them know what one of their ex-servicemen is up to! Surely they must deplore this disgraceful behaviour!!! SJ Debaser 11:35, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Well, at least Kenny won't feel alone with his "Har har PZ is fat!" nonsense. Do you think Kara just thought "if you can't beat them, join them", or did he get brainwashed by the flying kitty? CrundyTalk nerdy to me 11:38, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
It's actually much, much simpler than that. Andy has defended and thus endorsed Ken's emissions, thus Karajerk, being the spineless lick-spittle that he is, must now leap aboard the Andy bandwagon and promote His Master's Voice in the way he knows best - rank stupidity and pig ignorance. Behind the scenes, of course, they still all ignore Ken. --PsyGremlinFale! 11:52, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
what happened at that museum, anyways?--Brxbrx (talk) 12:00, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
See here (you need to go right to the bottom to see the relevant pic.) --Scream!! (talk) 12:21, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

The PeeWee/PeeZee pun is about the funniest thing in the recent series of toons (and it's not that funny anyway). What we really see is the complete lack of creative talent at CP. They can only regurgitate the bile that they find on other wingnut blogs. Karajou has a bit of workmanlike art skills but doesn't have any wit or vision to do something with it. So Karajerk is just echoing Ken because he has no ideas of his own. The only people who have really attempted to inject any sort of aesthetic values, standards or organisation into "the project" have all been banhammered. The main page is a complete mess with the sysops just flinging their own handfuls of shit at it and not bothering to clean up afterwards. Do I see editors uploading their own photos (other than at Teabagger or March for Lite Conservatism rallies)? Diagrams and maps? Usually just copied from somewhere else. The shame of Conservapedia is that it is an assemblage of other people's work being passed of as an "educational resource". The original homeskollars have all fled and the current sysops are all engaged in political mudslinging. When I look at RationalWiki I see a lot of creativity; the main page is neat and concise, people care about categories and style, MediaWiki extensions, a diversity of opinions and a degree of camaraderie unrivalled by CP.  Lily Inspirate me. 12:31, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, best in a while, but it still sucks. I think Karajou is just attention whoring like Ken. Can you imagine how many liberals will be out to get poor Karagoogoo if PZ blogs about this? Karajou can. And he says "Bring it on". Occasionaluse (talk) 12:50, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
"Bring it on..." whilst hiding behind restricted editing, the ban-hammer, over-sight, 403 blocks, and closed comments of his blog. --PsyGremlinSermā! 13:09, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Maybe we'll get some machismo toons next. ATP (talk) 14:46, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Maybe he hopes that PZ will sue him? That seems to be his overall strategy: (1) Get X to sue me. (2) ??? (3) X gets laughed out of court and will possibly face charges himself. --Sid (talk) 18:21, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Maybe in a machismo toon Karajou will depict Ace inebriated, high on coke, wearing his custom-designed muy-machismo mask and urinating on a church. SJ Debaser 18:50, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
That's what I call machismo. Ace of Spades 19:37, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
I just tried to make an album cover titled "Now That's What I Call MA-CHEESE-MO!" with pictures of your ear-gin experiment Ace before remembering that I'm terrible at that kind of stuff. Still a funny thought though. SJ Debaser 19:56, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

Speaking of machismo[edit]

I just read Umberto Eco's essay "Eternal Fascism: Fourteen Ways of Looking at a Blackshirt" (available here), and point number twelve reminded me of Conservapedia. See if you can guess why.

12. Since both permanent war and heroism are difficult games to play, the Ur-Fascist transfers his will to power to sexual matters.
This is the origin of machismo (which implies both disdain for women and intolerance and condemnation of nonstandard sexual habits, from chastity to homosexuality). Since even sex is a difficult game to play, the Ur-Fascist hero tends to play with weapons -- doing so becomes an ersatz phallic exercise.

The whole essay is interesting, and is almost uncanny in how much of Andy and Co. is describes. Highlights include:

  • "For Ur-Fascism, disagreement is treason..."
  • "Thus at the root of the Ur-Fascist psychology there is the obsession with a plot, possibly an international one. The followers must feel besieged."
  • "Most typical features of the historical fascism was the appeal to a frustrated middle class, a class suffering from an economic crisis or feelings of political humiliation, and frightened by the pressure of lower social groups." Doppelheuer (talk) 20:48, 31 March 2011 (UTC)

Over-sight[edit]

For once I agree with Andy over-sighting stuff. And boy was he fast too. --PsyGremlinПоговорите! 12:42, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

Jesus, folks. Leave the kids out of this. P-Foster (talk) 13:40, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Do we need to have that capture? EddyP Great King! Disaster! 13:59, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Look, I agree with you guys that this is beyond the pale, but Karajou and the rest of them reap what they sow. --Leotardo (talk) 14:00, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Yes, but his son hasn't sown anything. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 14:04, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
No, but his father is part of a website that ridicules his son, and Karajou supports that indirectly at the least. The idea then that they should be upset that other people join in the ridicule is a little silly. They provide no example to say otherwise, and what they do encourages that behavior. --Leotardo (talk) 14:08, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Here we go again. Let's all laugh at the fat kid because his dad has posted a couple of cartoons about fat people? You're pathetic. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 14:10, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Just shut up SuspectedReplicant, nobody is saying that and you sound more and more like a jackass on this issue every day. --Leotardo (talk) 14:12, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
That's exactly what you just said, you fucking cretin. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 14:16, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Look, you dumb fuck, let me put it into other words: I don't believe doing drugs is inherently bad. Rush Limbaugh says it is and derides those who have problems with drugs. Rush Limbaugh is a drug addict. People then ridicule Rush Limbaugh for his drug habit. That someone else does this with "Fat Atheists are bad because they are fat" and turns that table around on Karajou is not unsurprising. Trying thinking beyond your own stomach on this. --Leotardo (talk) 14:20, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
No, it's a valid point - by all means attack Kerejerk for being a hypocrite, but leave the kid out of it. he's not even on CP. --PsyGremlinTala! 14:18, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
I'm not supporting the ridicule of his son, I am making the point that Karajou and Conservapedia have set the stage for it. --Leotardo (talk) 14:20, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
I'm in two minds about this one I'm afraid. When I first bumped into the linked article I almost posted a comment but decided not to because the kid did not ask for this. However his hypocritical wanker of a father DID ask for it and has taken great pleasure in attempting to mock people who are overweight. That he possibly has a member of his immediate family that may be overweight does have 'some' bearing on the discussion.
That being said I personally decided to leave the kid alone. The choices others make on this are for them to make however imo. Oldusgitus (talk) 14:35, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Wow. Fast U-turn from the tard. Having been called out as a vicious fuck I suppose it was the only way you could get out of it. At least you realised your attitude was a disgrace and reversed it. I can only hope that you've learned something from this and won't be so quick to attack a child for the sins of its father in the future. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 14:37, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
SR, you have done yourself and your argument no favours at all by using the term you just did imo. Oldusgitus (talk) 14:45, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Yeah, right? Don't make fun of fat people, make fun of "tards". --Leotardo (talk) 14:46, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
It's in your bloody name you idiot! –SuspectedReplicant retire me 15:10, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
My name is a reference to a Sopranos character, Phil Leotardo, and to Leonardo Da Vinci. Calling someone a "tard" has an obvious meaning and I'm sure that's not lost on you. --Leotardo (talk) 16:22, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
It's not just SR who has been confused by your name, then. I always assumed that you purposely mashed Leonardo (da Vinci) with "retard". Phiwum (talk) 17:30, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
The only thing you keep proving is that you have trouble understanding what people write, perhaps because you aren't very bright. I haven't changed anything I've said - everything I wrote above I still think. --Leotardo (talk) 14:43, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Everything you post proves that you have no idea what you're talking about. From your idiotic and ill-informed comments on opinion polls last Oct/Nov to this bullshit about overweight kids, it's pretty clear you have a severe comprehension problem. Now run along and stop bothering me. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 14:47, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Can someone tell us what the fuck is being discussed and what it has to do with Karajou? DickTurpis (talk) 14:39, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
A picture (since deleted) was published of a comment on Karajou's talk page that Andy oversighted. It contained a link to a YouTube video in which Karajou's son was present and unflattering comments on his physical appearance. While I'm fine with taking the piss out of the CP sysops, publicly exposing somebody's relatives like this has always been considered a no-no on this site. When the relative in question is a minor, it's definitely going too far. Leotardo disagrees. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 14:45, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

EC Background. what happens on that blog is of no concern to us, of course, but some troll got onto CP and started haranguing Anger Bear about his son. That's what the cap that Psy posted was all about. P-Foster (talk) 14:47, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

SR and Leo, if you're going to disagree, be civil. On the subject at hand, this one's very hard to call. RW policy is to leave the kids out of it, but in the context of his dad's bashing of PZ Myer's weight it's certainly relevant. IMO a private e-mail shaming Karajou would have been better. EddyP Great King! Disaster! 15:19, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
I agree! It is SR who keeps devolving the discussion into name-calling. And my only point is that Karajou brought this upon his son. Not that it is okay, nor that we should support it. --Leotardo (talk) 15:26, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

HCM!!! YAY!!!! Occasionaluse (talk) 15:39, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

The most shocking revelation to my mind is that Karajou actually has a son. I can only pity the poor lad knowing that he has probably felt the sting of his father's belt on many an occasion, as Conservaleaks has shown that Karajou's preferred course of correction is physical punishment. If he's a little on the chubby side it's probably a reaction to being unloved at home as many overweight kids indulge in food for emotional comfort.  Lily Inspirate me. 15:41, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Probably? You're now trying to assign probability on the reasons why a CP admin's child is overweight? What utter hubris. No better than Ken claiming that PZ Myers is overweight because he's an atheist. Jesus. Ajkgordon (talk) 10:56, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
In my opinion (not trying to maralise here - only my opinion) we should make fun of Karajou, the persona that posts at CP, blogs, etc. I don't know who Briand McDonalad is and have no opinion of him. By extension any mention of his family, photos, etc however public he may have made them, however legitimate, whatever he says about other people's family - it's a flat wrong. We shouldn't do it. We should be better than Karajou. StarFish (talk) 17:09, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
No-one has addressed the real issue here, why on earth is Kowardjerk letting his son play liberal jazz music? (and play it pretty well too) DeltaStarSenior SysopSpeciationspeed! 17:09, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Sorry, don't know what happened there. I got an edit conflict, but there was no new text in the box...? DeltaStarSenior SysopSpeciationspeed! 17:17, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
True, jazz is the handiwork of Satan. Per Henry Anslinger:
There are 100,000 total marijuana smokers in the US, and most are Negroes, Hispanics, Filipinos and entertainers. Their Satanic music, jazz and swing, result from marijuana usage. This marijuana causes white women to seek sexual relations with Negroes, entertainers and any others.

Down. Again. Tear.[edit]

I wonder what this will make Andy do now? Has a DDoS attack happened so often to CP before? Rationalize (talk) 15:48, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

I think they have, but this is probably the worst they've, and CP's reaction in blocking the world has been their most ott reply. There's some mention in Conservaleaks about DDoS attacks and 403 blocking. It seems Andy granted rights to sysops to do this, ion response to the attacks. I know Jpatt talks about creating 403 blocks and he didn't have those rights when I was a sysop. --PsyGremlinRunāt! 15:56, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
I can't decide whether this is good or bad. The reaction will doubtless be more /8 blocks at the server level, which will reduce CP's readership even further... but that will raise the overall quality of right-wing material on the Internet. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 15:58, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
I want to mention - I think there's been a rash of DDoS attacks all over. I think I heard that a variety of government sites have been under attack for awhile (although that's probably a constant thing). My employer was under one for several weeks, and it was getting very annoying. They were attempting to hold the place ransom. The net effect of it was that it was difficult for us to handle any incoming or outgoing web traffic. Some of our important pages, like our method of reporting our timesheets, were down on the day that those were due. And we wound up blocking most of Africa from requesting our website. Sorry Andy, despite that your site is political in nature, DDoS attacks happen for the simple reason that it's profitable to do so. -Lardashe
DDoS attack -> We have a record number of unique visitors!!! Occasionaluse (talk) 16:28, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Ha! You're probably right. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 16:30, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Apparently Wordpress got hit by a big DDoS attack from China. Punching DDoS into Google news brings up warnings about a recent spike in attacks, so, yeah, this looks like it was part of a larger thing. Nebuchadnezzar (talk) 16:33, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
OU, you're definitely right. I remember once after Andy had reverted a huge amount of vandalism, he proudly increased the "..and over xxx,xxx edits!" thing on MPL. DeltaStarSenior SysopSpeciationspeed! 17:13, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Since it's obvious that we are responsible for the attacks on CP, does this mean we're responsible for all these others too? DickTurpis (talk) 17:44, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
If not us, then other liberals, obviously. I won't witness its creation (403), but I eagerly await hearing news of cp:Liberal DDoS attacks. And yes, Andy will have his cake and eat it, too: He'll get to bash liberals for trying to censor The Truth while at the same time boasting that CP has x million hits, which obviously means that lots of people are eager to listen to his insights. That reminds me - does anybody still remember the time when CP tried to shift its mission towards being a Think Tank? It had just been a brief blip on the radar a long time ago, but I just remembered it again... --Sid (talk) 18:09, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Capture bot will not work on shorthand url's for cp. You need the whole url for it to captureimg correctly. The best way to do it for me is to click in the link, copy the 403'd url and then capture bot that instead. Oldusgitus (talk) 20:33, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
A think tank would be awesome, have people come in and speculate on conservative takes on various issues, kind of a wiki as forum deal with a clear ideological exploratory bent to it, rather than a documentational bent. The problem is that Andy has no business going within miles of a think tank, because a think tank need breathing room to function, and that is the one thing Andy refuses to allow. --Opcn (talk) 02:20, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
The main obstacle to them establishing a think tank would be with the word think. Oldusgitus (talk) 06:27, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
Yeah, they got the tanking part figured out already ;) *badum-ching!* --Sid (talk) 10:00, 31 March 2011 (UTC)

Phyllis Schlafly just unfriended me on facebook[edit]

Or rather one of her staffers, that's what I get for not bleeting in the appropriate pitch I guess. (I legitimately am a republican)--Opcn (talk) 23:09, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

Damn, does Mama Schlafly pay staffers to scour your internet postings for liberal claptrap? Nebuchadnezzar (talk) 23:54, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Just add Andy instead. -- Iscariot Andy Schlafly for Congress 2012! 00:13, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
We use defriended around these parts. (jk, but it does sound cooler.) Rationalize (talk) 00:26, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
wait, the schlafly matron has an accoutn on facebook? does andy know his mother is having an affair?--Brxbrx (talk) 00:27, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
You're kidding right? Mama Skeksis has one, Andykins has one, Little Phyl has one, even the little woman has one. In fact the only one that doesn't is Andy V2.0. -- Iscariot Andy Schlafly for Congress 2012! 00:30, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
Andy has one? But I thought he said Facebook was liberal! Just read the CP article on it!--Mr. Bojangles (talk) 00:41, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
Well, if it's a hoax, it's a good one. The picture is one that we haven't got, Mama Skeksis has him as a friend and there's the entire family networked. Oddly JPatt and KowardlyJerk aren't friended... -- Iscariot Andy Schlafly for Congress 2012! 00:44, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
Wait, Kowardjerk and Jpatt are on there too? I thought CP was anti Facebook! Them damn hypocrites. Waste of time, CP? You're wasting your time on Facebook! Are Uncle Ed and the rest on there too?--Mr. Bojangles (talk) 01:20, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
I know Geo Plourde is on there. That's all I got. Aboriginal Noise Theist, barely hanging by a nail 01:23, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
TerryH, too. His wall is mostly Examiner-centric. Ed, too, IIRC. --Sid (talk) 01:25, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
Well, I can safely disregard CP's hypocritical anti Facebook rhetoric the MPR posts and such. I actually agreed with Cpedia that Facebook was a waste of time but to see the admins on it is just bizzare.... especiallly Andy...--Mr. Bojangles (talk) 01:32, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
They are all on Facebook. Ace of Spades 01:35, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
Little Andy is on facebook, big Andy is not. Lil-Phyl used to be my friend but unfriended me last fall. AddisonDM is on there, Ed Poor is on there (and friends with Jimmy Wales (like the real fucking Jimmy Wales)) TK was but was not active and took down his account months before he died. Geo is. TerryH is. Conservative is probably on there as "facebook". --Opcn (talk) 01:49, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
Big Andy used to be, Karajou and JPatt both are. Ace of Spades 01:51, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
I'm surprised Ken hasn't tried lifting pictures or info from those on the RW Facebook group. He was happy digging up pictures of Trent about a month or two back. SJ Debaser 14:31, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
RW has a facebook grouo?? Cool. Twitter too? Or maybe a MYSPACE! Pegasus (talk) 00:58, 1 April 2011 (UTC)

403...[edit]

I have not been able to access conservapedia from my normal IP for a week. A few of my favorite proxies get 403's too. http://isup.me says it is up? What's going on? I want to wandalise! — Unsigned, by: Fundies are ADHD / talk / contribs

You been banned x10. Just to be sure. Quaruleukemia - You can't explain that! 04:07, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
Would be great if someone could create a chart of which /8s are banned. Fundies are ADHD (talk) 04:21, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
It looks like they're down again today. When they had the DDOS earlier on this week at one time I couldn't get access from Singapore but could get on with HideMyAss. Now even that gets timed out although downforeveryoneorjustme.com says it's up. Redchuck.gif ГенгисIs the Pope a Catholic? 09:26, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
My home has finally vanished into 403 land. Oh well, I haven't looked there in a while. - π 09:31, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
This handy little site tells me every time. :D AndyToad.gifNorsemanCyser Melomel 11:38, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
It's working for me just fine now. Rationalize (talk) 11:40, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
Of course at some point they'll probably 403 block the downforeveryoneorjustme site too. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 11:41, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
oh Thor-type person. Your search works for "conservapedia.com" but "www.conservapedia.com" seems to be down. --PsyGremlin話しなさい 11:48, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
Seems like they got my work IP and one of my favourite proxies, too. It's funny how they think this blocking spree will finally keep those damn rats out, but actually, it's the last step towards reducing CP's audience to RW alone. I can't imagine anyone else having the dedication to bypass all those anti-viewing measures. Röstigraben (talk) 11:56, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
Welcome to Fort Conservapedia, now fuck off!
It would be interesting to see just how much of the US is 403d, seeing as that's Andy's target market and the rest of the world can go jump. But I agree with what Rusty Grab'n'Squeeze said - your average user, confronted by a 403 screen, isn't going to go an look for a proxy server, they'll simply move on. --PsyGremlinParlez! 12:41, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
Well the US proxy I'm currently using now has CP active but from where I'm sitting it is not available. Some reputable French IPs I used a couple of weeks ago (before the DDOS) were also blocked. While it might deprive us of some fun, Andy's response to the attacks has again shown what a moron he really is. In an attempt to thwart the opposition he basically throttles himself. Redchuck.gif ГенгисIs the Pope a Catholic?
Chicago and my Los Angeles VPN. ROFL. Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svgUser:Nutty Roux/sigtalk 13:37, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
I'm down at home but gf's and work are working fine. --DogP (talk) 17:39, 31 March 2011 (UTC)

CP's entry point[edit]

Even if CP was actually attracting conservative readers, their "Popular articles" section on the main page, contains enough insanity, coupled with abysmal writing, to drive any half-sane prospective reader away. Besides Ken's emissions, you have all Andy's crazy toes on display "Greatest Conservative Songs" top of the heap, "Best new conservative words" "Conservative parables" (this really happened!), the CBP, Secularized Language, Evidence for Christianity (whatever that's supposed to be), Comedy and satires concerning atheism and evolution (oh dear), Professor values, Deliberate ignorance... What's surprising is that there's only 1 Liberal {noun} entry.

I think we'd be hard-pressed to find a better grouping of examples of CP's true crazy. --PsyGremlinTala! 11:45, 31 March 2011 (UTC)

Plus there's the fact that basically no one talks about it apart from us, and the people who *do* talk about it are only doing so to laugh and mock. So the chances of anyone who hasn't heard of CP yet *and* would actually take part in CP properly even hearing about it (in a way that makes them want to go there) in the first place are pretty low. X Stickman (talk) 12:10, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
If I remember rightly, I think it was JAllen who started the Popular Articles section and the list was a reflection of the most viewed pages. However, the Mad Five/Six/Seven took it upon themselves to linkdump their own pet articles and remove the ones that were getting the hits. (As a matter of record, Law Terms D was never included in the list.) So the current list is not a list of "popular" articles, it's a list of articles that they want to plug; which, as you say, is actually a better reflection of the crazy. Redchuck.gif ГенгисIs the Pope a Catholic? 13:06, 31 March 2011 (UTC)

Forbidden[edit]

Why I am seeing the message "403 Forbidden You don't have permission to access / on this server" whenever I'm trying to open conservapedia. --James D (talk) 15:41, 31 March 2011 (UTC)

Have you considered reading the multitude of sections above discussing exactly that? DeltaStarSenior SysopSpeciationspeed! 15:43, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
It's the guy's first edit FFS. Don't bite the noob.
James, you're banned from even reading Conservapedia. Most of us are. Occasionaluse (talk) 15:44, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
Welcome to the pernicious liberal swarm. You will soon be blamed for all manner of atrocities. Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svgUser:Nutty Roux/sigtalk 15:59, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
unless ur from an IP that is not American. Rationalize (talk) 21:06, 31 March 2011 (UTC)

Pioneer Anomaly[edit]

Someone should let Andy know that there is now a likely scientific explanation for the Pioneer Anomaly, and it proves that Jesus is real and the theory of relativity is wrong. Or wait, it proves just the opposite: http://www.technologyreview.com/blog/arxiv/26589/ --Composure1 (talk) 16:59, 31 March 2011 (UTC)

That was exactly what I was thinking when I put it on WIGO:World. I'm sure it'll be dismissed as Liberal Claptrap. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 17:11, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
Oh sure, NOW science comes up with some nonsense to "solve" the mystery. During the time this went unsolved, Jesus was, in fact, real. Any one deny that? Jimaginator (talk) 20:13, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
I deny science. God made everything including the pioneer anomaly. Senator Harrison (talk) 21:53, 31 March 2011 (UTC)

DDoS[edit]

Gosh, I hope this DDoS crap lets up pretty soon. Otherwise all th work we've put into Operation Oh-Won-Oh-For will be in vain. :( --PsyGremlinParlez! 12:00, 31 March 2011 (UTC)

I just want to edit nicely. You know, work on video game articles and stuff? And see how long it takes for a completely innocent user to get blocked. --98.83.43.248 (talk) 12:32, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
Well seeing as you wrote here without logging in, you'll last about 20 seconds after your next post. The minute Karajerk or Jpratt run checkuser on your ass... boom! ----98.83.43.248 (talk) 13:39, 31 March 2011 (UTC)PsyGremlin말하십시오 12:36, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
Awesome. I can't wait to see their reason. I assume it'll be "Member of Vandal site." 98.83.43.248 (talk)
And also that video games are inherently liberal by definition; because Andy said so. Redchuck.gif ГенгисIs the Pope a Catholic? 12:57, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
Oh? They have articles on Nintendo, Pokemon (my personal favorite), Metroid, and Pred links for some more. Somebody even said on the Metroid talk page that it had a Christian message or something. 98.83.43.248 (talk) 13:00, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
And they still have articles about British sports teams which is a surefire clue that the author is a parodist/vandal (see Conservaleaks for details) but that doesn't mean that they approve of them, they're just too lazy to delete them. Redchuck.gif ГенгисIs the Pope a Catholic? 13:17, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
Whatever. I'll write the articles I want first, open a crapload of tabs, paste my articles, and hit save page as quickly as I can.
LOL. First you have to open an editing window. Redchuck.gif ГенгисIs the Pope a Catholic? 13:44, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
By tabs, I meant tabs with editing windows in them. Like, a tab for creating the Mario page, and a tab for creating the Andy Schlafly is a Jerk page. I assumed that would be obvious to such intelligent gentlemen as you Rats (pardon my use of the CPers affectionate nickname( you know, something different runs through my mind than Conservapedia when I see the letters CP.).) 98.83.43.248 (talk) 14:28, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
Yes, and I meant that you actually have to access CP in order to do that. Currently that is rather a hit and miss state of affair (mostly miss). Redchuck.gif ГенгисIs the Pope a Catholic? 14:40, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
As soon as the DDoS ends, Ill be on it. --98.83.43.248 (talk) 14:45, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
This raises the question: how can you be a member of RW if you're editing anonymously? Scarlet A.pngd hominem 14:46, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
...This is still Andy Schlafly we're talking about, right? Logic means nothing to him and his loyal bloodhounds. --98.83.43.248 (talk) 14:50, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
No doubt that, if he had the ability to find out, he'd block editors if they so much as look at the Liberal Vandal Site Whose Name Starts With "RationalWik". «-Bfa-» 15:29, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
Well they already block anyone who has the unfortunate initials of "RW". Of course, in AndyLand, guilt by association is not a logical fallacy - it's a rule of thumb. ONE / TALK 15:31, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
Now "Member of Vandal Site" is correct. Sparky (talk) 16:24, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
So, can anyone access the site? It's been down for me all frickin' day. sPaRkYDo I look like a lightbulb? 23:32, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
Hah! It's down for you for good! I've been deprived for months now - it's why I'm here instead of looking there. --Scream!! (talk) 23:39, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
Evidently not. We're back up and ready to go. >:) sPaRkYDo I look like a lightbulb? 00:08, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
I'm having a hard time finding an unlocked page. Jeez. I'd insert some comment about the First Amendment or something, but this is Conservapedia. sPaRkYDo I look like a lightbulb? 00:50, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
It may be that editing is switched off for peons rather than the pages being locked. The main locked pages are political "heroes" or Ken's dross. Redchuck.gif ГенгисIs the Pope a Catholic? 15:50, 1 April 2011 (UTC)

He's Alive?[edit]

Either Joaquim is giving Andy a little poke in the ribs, or he missed a blast faximg. 江斯顿What is it now? 03:26, 1 April 2011 (UTC)

He IS alive, fool! Now, bow down!--Mr. Bojangles (talk) 03:28, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
How many brave soldiers of the Revolution died for this message to see the light of day on Conservapedia?! Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svgUser:Nutty Roux/sigtalk 04:07, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Aaaaaaannnnnnd, it's goneimg. PS Carter's been dead since 1981. 05:05, 1 April 2011 (UTC) C®ackeЯ
What the fuck? I guess the excuse is that Reuters won't think it's "fair use"?! Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svgUser:Nutty Roux/sigtalk 18:53, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
The excuse is that it's a fake because Castro is dead. That is why he will not appear in front of the public, who would instantly recognize a fake, and instead will only meet in person with recognized and respected world leaders. --Opcn (talk) 20:18, 1 April 2011 (UTC)

Old mama schlafly and her truely xian values[edit]

Like twisting the 9th commandment. Perhaps this goes some way to explaining assfly's screwed up world view. Not only an extremist harridan for a mother but one who didn't even raise her kids but employed nannies to look after them Oldusgitus (talk) 07:52, 1 April 2011 (UTC)

That's so typical of the Schlafly family's hypocrisy - advocate that women should stay at home and be breeding machines, whilst Mama S is out working, leaving the kids with a nanny - who might even have been an illegal immigrant. Advocate home-schooling over state schools (saying public schools always confuses the Brits), but send your kids to private schools. (Indecently, it says somewhere that Andy was home-schooled until age 7. I'd that pretty much all kids are home-schooled to that age. Hell, our formal schooling here only begins the year you turn 7. Then again, I'm guessing she kept Andy out of nasty, liberal kindergarten during his formative years, which explains why he has the social skills of a doorknob.) Now wonder the brothers grew up so horribly conflicted, having to live to one set of standards, while they and their mother advocated an entirely different set. Adds to that growing up listening to the sounds of mummy and daddy having a "communication problem" every other night... no wonder they're all fucked in the head. --PsyGremlin講話 09:42, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
I've always had the feeling that Andy's extreme conservatism (and thus Conservapedia) stemmed from him trying to get his absent mother's attention. 'Mommy, if I'm as batshit as you will you come home?!' --Night Jaguar (talk) 10:55, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Its so sad. Then I realize its the schlafly family, so i laugh at them. Though tom does make a good beer...--Thunderstruck (talk) 11:57, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Just to play Devil's Advocate for a moment -- Phyllis Schlafly has been asked "what do you mean saying women should stay home when you're made a career as a traveling speaker?" Her response has been that she came home when her husband told her to do so. MDB (talk) 12:26, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
That just goes to show where she is coming from; her ultimate agenda being, not to get women to be homemakers, but to institute an absolute-patriarchal state of affairs. Mjollnir.svgListenerXTalkerX 15:14, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
But just like Andy (and now we know where it comes from) she's awfully good at blithely making very strong claims without the least factual support and then simply telling her discussant she's wrong when questioned. The brief Title IX discussion in the NPR clip linked above is a great example. I'm actually very curious, in fact more curious than about Andy, what Phyllis Schlafly's real agenda is. Is it a common pre-Vatican II Catholic position that women should not just bow to but promote a patriarchy? Is her position biblical at all or borne of some other psychological trauma she suffered. Odd stuff. Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svgUser:Nutty Roux/sigtalk 15:57, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Catholics were not known for a marked promotion of patriarchy, even pre-Vatican II; I have an old book, written by a Monsignor and bearing the imprimatur of Francis Cardinal Spellman, that says, "good riddance to the days when the man was Lord and Master." Although she grew up a Catholic, Mrs. Schlafly is of an old Calvinist family, and Calvinists are known for their strong support of patriarchy. Mjollnir.svgListenerXTalkerX 16:09, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Interesting. So they're nominally Catholic but retain at least some of the old Calvinist beliefs. Andy's approach to some of the fundamental requirements of Catholic faith, like recognizing certain miracles, which he wishes to characterize as "signs" and give naturalistic explanations, would agree with your analysis. We've discussed whether certain of his beliefs are merely heretical or the degree to which his denial of fundamental tenets of faith would render him apostate. I believe from our Haiti/charity coverage that we came to the conclusion he goes to a Puritan church, which puts him squarely in the English Separatist Calvinist movement at least for weekly church attendance (or however often he attends - I frankly doubt he's a very observant worshiper since he has a near- universal predilection for refusing to recognize anyone's authority but whatevs). So even if he's ostensibly Catholic there's a lot more to his approach than meets the eye, like that he seems to still do saint worship but is also perfectly happy rejecting anything but ex cathedra pronouncements, of which there have been only a few in 500 years. I'd like to understand more about his faith since he's not your typical limited atonement Calvinist fundie yet treats them as co-travelers. Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svgUser:Nutty Roux/sigtalk 16:48, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
American culture borrows a lot of Calvinist tropes. Nebuchadnezzar (talk) 16:57, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
American mainstream culture is itself pretty much a direct descendant of the original Calvinist puritans that washed ashore upon Plymouth Rock. http://unqualified-reservations.blogspot.com/2007/07/universalism-postwar-progressivism-as.html) Shocking as it may sound, I think most conservatives are really just (admittedly sometimes severely) outdated liberals at times. The most serious ideological, and indeed truly conservative -- nay, reactionary -- opposition in the USA died out in the 1860's in the civil war, although that was obviously a good thing. I never thought it was a coincidence a lot of conservatives, including Andy, largely picked up these Americanist/Calvinist tropes for their own utopian purposes. Indeed, it only more than a century or so ago the pope was decrying "Americanism" for this sort of thing. While I'm on this topic: it's interesting that RW itself notes most American histories get as fast as they can to Plymouth, even ignoring the other, earlier English colony of Jamestown. One last bit while I'm rambling here: The Conservative Bible Project? It's not exactly shocking in retrospect to see it's an attempt to graft Andy's true religion of Republican Reaganism -- itself a variant of the American city-upon-a-hill utopian idea -- onto the bible. Photovoltaic Array (talk) 18:30, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
I would not draw such broad strokes; that analysis, itself, is going right to Plymouth (New England Puritans) and ignoring Jamestown (Southern Baptists and Methodists). In the Jesusland Map, the chief "blue" areas are the Midwest (where Germans and Scandinavians got the land and swamped the Yankees culturally), and formerly Puritan New England; the Bible Belt is in the areas where Puritanism was not strong, but evangelical and charismatic sects were. Mjollnir.svgListenerXTalkerX 20:04, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
You know, I'm wondering just how... messed up the Schlafly family really is. (Phyllis and children. The brewer branch of the family seems to be doing well enough.) Phyllis endorsing marital rape? It's nastier in the context of remembering she married an older, more well-off and socially conservative man. (She started her far-right wing work after marriage, after all.) We know a lot of their public fighting ultimately stems from insane creationism and religious belief: a lot of her anti-ERA fighting back in the day was at least partially motivated out of a fear of gay rights and equality, and Andy had to get his bible-loving from somewhere. And now we find out the woman who put down "mother" as her occupation had nannies for her kids. I remember speaking with an ex-editor at Conservapedia who wondered out loud if Andy's sheer hatred of public schools stem from a sort of jealousy at being denied a normal youth and finding out these little factoids don't help in dispelling that whatsoever. (Andy went to a private school. I did as well, I can attest it was a horrific experience and was probably worse back then.) The Schlaflys quite frankly helped to make America -- and the world -- a little worse for the wear and we all know this. But even Andy never had the far-reaching influence his mother had. The more we find out about Phyllis Schlafly's life I wonder how much of all of this crap ultimately stems from bad decision-making and possibly even desperation early on in her own life so many decades ago. Photovoltaic Array (talk) 12:27, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Children are always the mixture of two different (mostly) lineages. So we should not tar the male line of Andy's family tree. I've no idea what his dad was like but his mother seems to be the wacko one with her lost tribe of Israel heritage. Redchuck.gif ГенгисIs the Pope a Catholic? 15:21, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
You're probably right, especially given the whole point was that Phyllis did go out and do her own thing (and to protest women against doing the same). Although it's precisely because of what you said regarding the mixing of parental lineages that I was wondering how much of a role Andy's dad might have played in his life or that of his mother. It's just becoming sadly obvious none of them led any sort of ideal life, even with power, money, and (right-wing) prestige. Photovoltaic Array (talk) 18:30, 1 April 2011 (UTC)

Bastards![edit]

Teh April Fool. I fell for it. --PsyGremlinParla! 09:48, 1 April 2011 (UTC)

You are not the only one. MDB (talk) 10:45, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
I admit, I was also fooled. Photovoltaic Array (talk) 10:47, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Me too. I should have known better. EddyP Great King! Disaster! 10:56, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
CP, of course, besides hauling out the old Birther crap again, spoil the effect by immediately announcing "April Fools" - clearly they don't want any of that librull deceits. --PsyGremlinParla! 10:58, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Me in there as well. Oldusgitus (talk) 11:01, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
The real trick was fooling capturebot... I had to break the URL and hope enough people were 403'd to ignore the link anyway :D ONE / TALK 11:07, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
I must be the biggest moron. I fell for CP's, then I came here and fell for RW's. The Senator is sad :( Senator Harrison (talk) 11:08, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
I'm a bigger moron, Senator. I thought about fixing the capturebot link, since it took me a while to realize it was a joke. Carlaugust (talk) 12:07, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Andy is the biggest moron. Obama released his birth certificate almost 3 years ago. CP is actually most accurate on April Fool's Day. --Night Jaguar (talk) 13:36, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Obama released the document that the state generated, the document you would use for literally any and all official purposes, he did not release the doctor generated document that is in essence only a request for the state generated document and by law must say the same thing as the state generated document. --Opcn (talk) 16:06, 1 April 2011 (UTC)

──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── Taking this serious for a moment, the birthers will never be satisfied. No matter what Obama releases, no matter how much documentation he provides, they will still flog this issue. Orly Taitz has even said that if Obama proved he was born in Hawaii to her satisfaction (at if that was possible), she plans to go down the "Obama's father wasn't a citizen so he's not a natural-born citizen" route. Which is one of the reasons I think Obama isn't providing anything more -- it will only encourage them. MDB (talk) 16:23, 1 April 2011 (UTC)

If Obama somehow found and released a copy of his "long form" birth certificate, no birthers would believe it. Why did he wait so long? (lol, like he couldn't have had one faked in an instant) The doctor who delivered him has since died! (like that would confirm anything anyway) Occasionaluse (talk) 16:34, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
That's one of the birther demands that always amused me, wanting someone who was present at Obama's birth to come forwards. Considering Obama was born in 1961, most of the people present are probably dead. And even the ones who are alive -- they're supposed to be able to remember one specific birth? You might be able to argue he was an unusual birth, considering he was an interracial baby in a time when that was still somewhat shocking, but even then, it seems unlikely any of the hospital staff could say conclusively that they were there. MDB (talk) 17:06, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
This conspiracy goes far deeper. His birth announcement was published in two Hawaiian newspapers. His parents must have given false information to the two newspapers knowing that Obama would run for president 40 years later. --Night Jaguar (talk) 20:44, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Donald Trump is jumping in the political sack with Lawyer/Realtor/Dentist Orly and staking his claim as a birther, although he feels the term is insulting. I suppose he will lend the movement the intellectual gravitas that has so sorely been lacking. Holy shit. ATP (talk) 23:01, 1 April 2011 (UTC)

He does it. He REALLY does it.[edit]

assfly, after spending the past week with his blog on the end of a concerted ddos attack proudlyimg proclaims a record number of unique visitors. What a wanker that thing really is. Oldusgitus (talk) 12:22, 1 April 2011 (UTC)

Brilliant. When life gives you lemons, use them to brag about your site hits. CrundyTalk nerdy to me 12:26, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Unbelievable! Even for Andy this is impressive. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 12:29, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
/beats head on desk. Most of the world 403'd, DDoS keeps the site down for most of the week, but record viewers. Deceit (or is it delusion?) like this needs a prominent place in his article. --PsyGremlinRunāt! 12:42, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Obviously, he's doing it to piss off the liberals who DDoS'd him. Occasionaluse (talk) 12:46, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
I was hoping that someone else better at writing these things would either wigo it or add it to the article on his chronic deceit and hypocrisy. Oldusgitus (talk) 12:48, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Duly WIGO'd. Good find Sir. --PsyGremlinZungumza! 12:59, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
It took me 6 different TOR identities to be able to look at the bloody place though :-) Oldusgitus (talk) 13:34, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
They;ve really clamped down on TOR, normally takes a few idents to find a working one. I mostly use TOR for browsing the Hidden Wiki these days. --PsyGremlinFale! 13:56, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
OU is probably right. EddyP Great King! Disaster! 13:26, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
I located a new proxy and discovered this little April Fools from Andyimg. I wonder how many people fell for it?  Lily Inspirate me. 13:49, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Wasn't there an issue with the Week That Wasn't where Andy, or the goons, blocked editors for daring to claim CP had been broken and that articles were missing? It makes me wonder how the man can lie like that, knowing they've been down for most of the week. Why not just say, "Those dirty librulls tried to censor our truths but we fought them off." It's still a lie, but it sounds believable by CP standards. Why the insane insistence on putting up a front that all is well, hunky-dory and Andy's shit smells like peach blossom? --PsyGremlinParla! 14:00, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Yeah there was a guy who came along and said "I've been doing a lot of work on articles over the last week and now it's gone, what happened?" He never got an answer, let alone an apology, and after further protesting he was blocked, as were others. The sysops simply pretended it never happened, just like the FBI incident, and TK. ONE / TALK 14:15, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Somebody did get an answer from Andy, s/he was told that the week worth of contributions (from all users) wasn't a big loss. Charming. FlareTalk 15:17, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
There's some mention of it here with TK acting like a cunt as usual. --PsyGremlin말하십시오 15:31, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
I'm still laughing at it. That's one of the funniest things I've ever seen Andy write. SJ Debaser 15:40, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Was that the same time Andy told an editor "you should have been with us at the March for Life anyway"? Or am I merging two incidents? MDB (talk) 15:44, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
I had asked about The Week that Never Was in one of my many chat sessions with TK, because I had lost a lot of the governors pages I was working on, and he simply said he didn't know what had happened. Aboriginal Noise Theist, barely hanging by a nail 15:53, 1 April 2011 (UTC)

────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────I see nothing! I know nothing! Nebuchadnezzar (talk) 16:02, 1 April 2011 (UTC)

Oh my god, I thought for sure that this was an April fools joke! --Opcn (talk) 16:08, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
ooh... now that you mention it... Nah, Andy's not going to make light of his precious page views is he? --PsyGremlinPraat! 16:38, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
maybe he doesn't actually know what DDoS is. He doesn't realize his views are only the result of the attack.--Brxbrx (talk) 16:48, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
No, I thought Oldusgitus was having us on. I didn't imagine Andy would be that stupid. --Opcn (talk) 17:05, 1 April 2011 (UTC)

Holy Daleks! Someone must have hacked Andy![edit]

I mean, there's no other excuse that I can think of for it.img sPaRkYDo I look like a lightbulb? 22:35, 1 April 2011 (UTC)

Andy has done the DoS attacker's job for him/her, he has blocked out the majority of the world. The attacker probably used either a botnet or a bunch of proxies to entice Andy to block a huge amount of the internet. 74.65.142.115 (talk) 22:47, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
And again! Something seems strange here. sPaRkYDo I look like a lightbulb? 23:07, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
DAMN YOU SPARKY! (Although I did it to my brother this morning, so I can appreciate it) :-) 71.169.154.184 (talk) 23:25, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
I knew I'd get someone. sPaRkYDo I look like a lightbulb? 23:27, 1 April 2011 (UTC)

Countdown to new BotP on MPR[edit]

So how long until Andypants links to this kid as Best of the Public/Teen Achiever/Homeschooler who is disproving Relativity? He asks questions about Einstein's theories, therefore is is automatically a conservative Young Earth Creationist. DickTurpis (talk) 20:16, 29 March 2011 (UTC)

Given Andy's hatred of books today is a great news day for him. Ace of Spades 20:27, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
holy shit - a fucking Andy trifecta! Ace of Spades 20:31, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
The original story is world3012 on WIGO:World. (not one of mine so linking doesn't count as linkspam) –SuspectedReplicant retire me 20:32, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
I always thought Aspy's were supposed to be a little weirder. Occasionaluse (talk) 20:39, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
That's prolly not something you should say out loud around here. P-Foster (talk) 20:58, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
That was my immediate afterthought. Occasionaluse (talk) 21:05, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
And it is worth saying that though most Aspy's are bright individuals, not all of them are supergeniuses like this kid. Just a stereotype that needs to be avoided. Oh, and the whole questioning Einstein thing would be perfect for CP.--Arsefly's Newest Insight (talk) 21:13, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
Dude, your "that"s have a manufacturing error. Might want to send those back. --UHMharassme 21:37, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
Thanks. I sent those pesky critters back! Curse them damn teachers fore nott teching mee whoww two spel rite!--Arsefly's Newest Insight (talk) 22:07, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
It's also worth saying that a lot of people would love to see holes punched in relativity - not because of Andy's bugbears, but because it would generate interesting new physics and might move closer to the GUT. Of course, Andy's black and white world doesn't allow for liberals wanting to see GR shaken, so I don't exist. QED. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 21:21, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
GR is great but it needs expanding and adjusting. Ace of Spades 21:23, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
Just as long as it's wrong enough to let me complete the Kessel run in less than twelve parsecs. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 21:44, 29 March 2011 (UTC)
I'm sure you knew that the parsec is unit of distance, so I won't point it out here. ħumanUser talk:Human 04:20, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Per the Han Solo trilogy, Han did indeed complete the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs. Yes, the distance measurement. Black holes were involved. 68.147.147.118 (talk) 05:18, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
The explanations put forth for that put me in mind of creationists' rhetorical gymnastics. Mjollnir.svgListenerXTalkerX 05:22, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
Nobody ever considers the possibility that the Kessel Run is a trial of fixed time and variable distance and not vice versa. ATP (talk) 05:36, 30 March 2011 (UTC)
I can't believe that there's anybody alive who didn't get that reference... Human, I feel sorry for you! –SuspectedReplicant retire me 07:16, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

I've thought about te Kessel run being fixed time, however, then Han is bragging about how bad he did. "I did the 10 minute run in less than 100 meters." Carlaugust (talk) 12:09, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

The other explanation, which I prefer, is that Solo was spouting nonsense and Ben knew it. The script has a stage direction that calls Solo's attempt to impress him "stupid".68.147.147.118 (talk) 08:03, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
I don't buy the line about him not knowing how fast his ship is. It is legitimately fast and anyone capable of piloting space has to know what a parsec is. I postulate that it is shorthand for a light parsec, just as a light year is a measure of distance (c*t=d) a light parsec would be a measure of time (t=d*c). I just now developed this theory, but it's also the best one I've ever heard. That or George Lucas is a fucking idiot who was just luck to work with good people who failed to catch this mistake that he made. --Opcn (talk) 09:22, 31 March 2011 (UTC)
I can't believe people are still trying to analyse this. They have FTL space travel, and not even some limited special case. FTL is equivalent to time travel, for reasons that should be pretty obvious. If a story does FTL but doesn't use it for time travel then it's just hand-waving "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain, I'm just too lazy to deal with the fact that space is really big, so I've compressed it down to have manageable travel time". No rational analysis is appropriate or necessary. 82.69.171.94 (talk) 12:41, 2 April 2011 (UTC)
they have warp. hyperspace is another dimension, like a shortcut they go through. the kessel run is quite dangerous, many smugglers avoid it. black holes are involved. han likely cut the distance quite a bit by flirting with the black holes. this is more star wars knowledge than I care to have. I am considering electroshock--Brxbrx (talk) 21:28, 2 April 2011 (UTC)

Andy's CBP WIGO link busted[edit]

I'm getting a parked domain? What was there? --DogP (talk) 00:29, 2 April 2011 (UTC)

Yarrr, thar be no such website as consrvapedia - now it be fixed! DeltaStarSenior SysopSpeciationspeed! 00:34, 2 April 2011 (UTC)
D'oh! DeltaStarSenior SysopSpeciationspeed! 00:35, 2 April 2011 (UTC)
It's supposed to be borked for to foole capturebot, the entire WIGO is an AFJ. 02:36, 2 April 2011 (UTC) C®ackeЯ
Hmmm. I'm getting a 404 message. What's the difference between that and a 403? Do I care? Is Andy hunkered down in a bunker somewhere in New Jersey with three million cans of beans as he gibbers about nasty hostile people looking at his drool-covered idiocy? Find out in next week's exciting episode of Andyland! Darkmind1970 (talk) 10:19, 2 April 2011 (UTC)

FOR FUCKSAKES!! IT'S AN APRIL FOOL'S JOKE ENTRY. IF THE LINK DOESN'T WORK, CLICK THE IMAGE TAG! THEN ALL WILL BE REVEALED. JESUS, BETWEEN THIS AND THE UMPTEEN "ER... I'M 403 BLOCKED. WHY?" THREADS, I DESPAIR FOR THE INTELLIGENCE OF OUR VISITORS SOMETIMES. --PsyGremlinFale! 10:40, 2 April 2011 (UTC)

Would you mind not shouting, please? I was having a nap. Anyway, now I’m awake I may as well defend the right of people of even the lowest IQ (or perhaps just those who are new to RW, naive or of a different sense of humour) to visit the site and be confused without being told they’re fuckwits. I seem to remember that there was once a site set up by a high IQ engineer and lawyer, but I don’t care for it really and it seems to be 403 blocked these days in any case. Perhaps those with especially high IQs would be better off editing there. It’s all very confusing and I’m a bit snoozy so if you don’t mind I’ll have another little nap before bedtime. Night, night. JumboWhales (talk) 06:21, 3 April 2011 (UTC)
Sorry, Psy. My excuse was the time difference, but I promptly blocked myself for 9 hours for being such a fool. DeltaStarSenior SysopSpeciationspeed! 10:51, 2 April 2011 (UTC)
Just take 10 Bloody Marys and a How's Your Father, and all is forgiven. --PsyGremlinParla! 11:04, 2 April 2011 (UTC)
Goodpost.gif Scarlet A.pngd hominem 11:11, 2 April 2011 (UTC)
Images work just fine by the way. Still surprised at the extent of the 403 blocks. Can anyone view CP at the moment? Or is it just limited to Andy's dwindling and increasingly raggedy band?Darkmind1970 (talk) 11:16, 2 April 2011 (UTC)
I can still see it, which amazes me because I live in ultra liberal Massachusetts.--Thunderstruck (talk) 11:53, 2 April 2011 (UTC)
I was 403'd there for a while, but now I'm back. DogP (talk) 15:47, 2 April 2011 (UTC)

Lockdown[edit]

I see that besides blocking the planet, they're still in night editing mode. --PsyGremlinRunāt! 14:50, 2 April 2011 (UTC)

Well, they have to do that to keep out the tricks of those deceitful liberals. Of course, probably only a handful of conservatives can read it either, but that makes no difference. Andy almost the planet 403'd from his blog; I hope he accidentally 403 blocks his IP address. sPaRkYDo I look like a lightbulb? 15:25, 2 April 2011 (UTC)
considering everything, is there anybody of importance that doesn't have night edit? im currently unable to load the page thanks to a timing out of connections >.>--Mikalos209 (talk) 20:57, 2 April 2011 (UTC)

Transparency award[edit]

I'm curious. Been searching for a news story other than that on MPR about Barry Soetoro's secret award, but besides the Daily Fail, I can't find anything that isn't on blogs or obvious right-wingnut hate sites. Liberal cover-up, or non-event? --PsyGremlinParla! 16:05, 2 April 2011 (UTC)

This? sPaRkYDo I look like a lightbulb? 16:29, 2 April 2011 (UTC)
Blog. --PsyGremlinSprich! 16:39, 2 April 2011 (UTC)
Lack of news about the seekrit award shows how good the seekrit keepers are. Oh and the moon landing hoax was a hoax. 18:04, 2 April 2011 (UTC) C®ackeЯ
Can't he and his fellow liberals discuss their socialist liberal jewish atheist muslim conspiracy in peace? People are just blowing this WAY out of proportion! άλφαTalk 19:18, 2 April 2011 (UTC)
I was thinking "transparency award... behind closed doors... April 1st... coincidence??" Ancient Greek Pegasus icon.png 22:08, 2 April 2011 (UTC)

CP has Closed![edit]

Andy just announced it! "I can't compete against the evil forces of Liberalism. I'm shutting down this project from this moment on." –SuspectedReplicant retire me 00:12, 1 April 2011 (UTC)

Damn Brit, you're too early for that! Nebuchadnezzar (talk) 00:14, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Greenwich Mean Time = Centre of the world. You're ALL subjects of the British Empire, bitches! –SuspectedReplicant retire me 00:15, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
No April Fools without representation...or something. It's Tea Party time, bitch!! Now where did I put my musket and flintlock pistols? Nebuchadnezzar (talk) 00:17, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Damned time zones. Screwing with you constantly. I'm gonna get you for that. sPaRkYDo I look like a lightbulb? 00:20, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Can't compete with liberalism? That's just silly - it defies Conservapedia's Law, which must be true, being a law and all that. ~SuperHamster Talk 00:39, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
At least Rickroll it!! Pegasus (talk) 00:49, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Doesn't work on me. I actually like the song. sPaRkYDo I look like a lightbulb? 00:53, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
That's when you go for the next best thing. ~SuperHamster Talk 01:00, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Theres kids at school who cant stop singing that. Its been years!! Its driving me freaking nuts. Pegasus (talk) 01:14, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
That is now my official Karaoke song AMassiveGay (talk) 06:21, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
What about this? Or is it too old meme? Nebuchadnezzar (talk) 06:26, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Two excellent songs. sPaRkYDo I look like a lightbulb? 11:52, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Weird Question: what made you choose to link to the Elder Scrolls Wiki? Are you a fan of the series? Protoman (talk) 15:33, 3 April 2011 (UTC)
That page used to say "April Fool", but I changed it last night. I suppose I should have waited until this left the page... –SuspectedReplicant retire me 16:31, 3 April 2011 (UTC)

Is there actually a joke here?[edit]

'cuz I'm a pretty bright guy, and I read alot of comics, and I ain't seein' one.img P-Foster (talk) 17:38, 1 April 2011 (UTC)

There is a misspelling of "transparency," but I do not see a joke. Mjollnir.svgListenerXTalkerX 17:40, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Maybe some fail, but no funny. sPaRkYDo I look like a lightbulb? 17:51, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Sloppiest toon yet :( Occasionaluse (talk) 18:10, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
It would have had a better shot if it had ended after the third panel, minus the "That 'aint[sic] very transparent". As it's now, it keeps going after the punchline and quickly turns into utter gibberish. Also, how can we force CaptureBot to recapture? This comic's cap broke. --Sid (talk) 18:21, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
I'm lazy and not looking, but I think CB uses certain tags/markers in html/wikicode to decide what to capture (you know, like how we only get the "diff" portion of a diff). When you link to an image like that, there's no markup for CB to use. Occasionaluse (talk) 18:25, 1 April 2011 (UTC)

I like the fact that he used the word "swab". --Kels (talk) 22:50, 1 April 2011 (UTC)

Typical Navy... Way to alienate the audience, Karajerk. The rest of the world refers to that as a "mop" bucket. I suppose you cook in a galley and relieve yourself in a head, too. Dumbass. The Foxhole Atheist (talk) 01:28, 2 April 2011 (UTC)
Maybe he's fondly remembering the most advanced job he had while he was in the forces? --Kels (talk) 02:35, 2 April 2011 (UTC)

Is there actually a picture here?[edit]

Kowardjerk's latest abortion

img leads to a blank, and CP is 403'd here. Try taking a screenshot. Totnesmartin (talk) 18:35, 1 April 2011 (UTC)

Martin, I'm going to be a pal and not get the image for you. Occasionaluse (talk) 18:38, 1 April 2011 (UTC)

=Interesting. I can't access the dreadful mess that is Conservapedia at all now. I guess that my little slice of London has been cast into the the outer darkness. All I get is "Forbidden" and a 403. Ah well, that's life. Darkmind1970 (talk) 18:53, 1 April 2011 (UTC)

Word on the street is that Trent sold the RW server logs to Andy. Occasionaluse (talk) 19:14, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
The US-based proxy I used earlier on today now cannot connect. What a mess they have made of things over there.  Lily Inspirate me. 19:23, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
It's the secret diary of Adrian Mole Andy Schlafly, aged 49 3/4 Totnesmartin (talk) 19:29, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
But another proxy which was 403'd can now access it. So I've uploaded a copy for people to improve.  Lily Inspirate me. 19:32, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
There's no possible way of making it worse, really... Totnesmartin (talk) 19:39, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
I assume that "W.H Closet" stands for "White House Closet", which is the funniest thing in the comic for me. The idea that everything in the white house is labelled "White House X". White House Toilet. White House Phone. White House Door Handle. X Stickman (talk) 19:43, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
It does not even make any sense, because the "closet" that that reporter was "locked" in was not even in the White House. Mjollnir.svgListenerXTalkerX 19:54, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Didn't you know? That's a deceitful liberal lie.

Incidentally, I'm going to avoid getting blocked over there so I'll be able to laugh at them without a 403. sPaRkYDo I look like a lightbulb? 20:20, 1 April 2011 (UTC)

You poor innocent fool. Do you think that only people who get blocked are 403ed? Half the planet is now unable to view CP because of range blocks not because they are guilty of doing anything. A range block is one of the crudest and most indiscriminate tools for anti-vandal measures. Redchuck.gif ГенгисIs the Pope a Catholic? 20:36, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Well, I am in the Bible Belt, which seems to have a smaller liklihood of being 403'd. As long as no jerk here in AL decides to start tearing their site to shreds, I'm hoping for some possible, miniscule chance of protection from 403-erization. Hopefully. sPaRkYDo I look like a lightbulb? 21:28, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
It looks as though I was wrong, and the cartoon is not based on the reporter who had to go into the "closet," but on Obama accepting a transparency award in a closed meeting.img Mjollnir.svgListenerXTalkerX 20:46, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
Either Karajou can't read or it's a very bad play on words. --UHMharassme 21:33, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
im sorry, but there is a closet, and obama. Why isn't there a 'coming out of the closet' joke here, instead of something that would make a 6 year old cry? LordSlug 誇らしげに2008年からソファの上に手の平 06:16, 2 April 2011 (UTC)
The funniest bit for me is the mention of the swab bucket. I had no idea Karajerk was a member of the glorious liberal press corps. --PsyGremlinParla! 09:23, 2 April 2011 (UTC)
My humble attempt

So I was wondering if there was an easier way to convey Karajerk's thoughts. And here's my effort. Succinct and to the point. Sadly, our favourite swabbie tries to cram too much of his impotent rage in to each scribble and thus loses the plot. Hey Karajou - here's a tip - less is more. This is doubly ironic coming from the man who compares his meandering scrawls to the punchy, single-panel cartoons of Thomas Nast. (Clearly Andy's delusions are catching). --PsyGremlinПоговорите! 09:45, 3 April 2011 (UTC)

Ddefinitely better. Karajou complete over-explained his joke to the point where it was a pleasure to have finished reading the thing. The boy desperately needs a writer, and the willingness to spend more than two minutes drawing a cartoon. Concernedresident omg!!! ponies!!! 09:51, 3 April 2011 (UTC)
Much better. It reminds me of an interview I read with... it could have been Neil Gaiman or Alan Moore. They pointed out that much of the art of a good comic is not including the main detail. Whoever it was gave an example. Panel 1: Murderer creeping up on unsuspecting victim. Panel 2: Axe glints in the moonlight. Panel 3: Shot over the rooftops with an "Aieeeeee!" speech bubble and nothing else. In that scenario, it's actually the reader who does the murder, not the writer. Karajerk would have the murderer saying "Now I'm going to murder you. Ha ha ha ha!" and the victim saying something like "Oh no! But I am a poor defenseless person!" He has no clue at all. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 10:06, 3 April 2011 (UTC)
I remember something similar about why the shower scene in Psycho is so effective - you see the knife raised, you see her scream, you see blood swirling down the drain. The bit about the knife sinking into flesh you make up. And your imagination is fr worse than anything a director can come up with. --PsyGremlinParla! 10:27, 3 April 2011 (UTC)
Ha. What would you know you liberal deceivers. We all know humour began with jebus and so is innately conservative. That explains why you fail to understand the amazing humour in karajerks toons. Deny this and lose all will to live Oldusgitus (talk) 10:21, 3 April 2011 (UTC)
The point about too much detail in his toons has been made before (by me?). Like the "liberal celebrities", "liberal Christmas", "courtroom evolution", et cetera, ad nauseam; he tries to cram in every stereotype that he can think of, either in the drawings or in the text. It's exactly the same mistake that I made when I did some safety cartoons as a naive teenager. As soon as I saw them printed I realised my mistake. The problem is that these guys don't do subtlety, nuance or allegory; they are some of the bluntest knives in the drawer and because of that they read their Bibull in a literal fashion. Stories such as the young Christian Einstein outsmarting his professor repeatedly hit you over the head with the point because that's the only way these morons can understand anything in any other way. It's why it's so easy to mock them and the parody at CP still exists, they are too dense to see it. Even when I pointed out the 'Exxon-Mobil executive pay' in the George W. Bush article to Stephanie Simon and she printed it in the L.A. Times it took many weeks for them to finally remove it. Even Ken rehashes the same jokes over and over again and thinks it funny. No, I don't think we can expect any improvement in the quality of the toons in the foreseeable future, which at least gives us some fun in the 'Making Karajou funny' forum. Redchuck.gif ГенгисIs the Pope a Catholic? 16:35, 3 April 2011 (UTC)

More Andy Delusions[edit]

Oh noes! The librull censorshipimg to tried to stop me working on my made-up list of conservative words!! Woe is me! --PsyGremlinПоговорите! 09:35, 3 April 2011 (UTC)

The completion of this list will surely bring about the end end of anyone who doesn't completely agree with Andy. That's a pretty strong incentive for liberals to meddle in his sacred task. Did he add persecution complex to it? Concernedresident omg!!! ponies!!! 09:43, 3 April 2011 (UTC)
Is the DDOS attack the liberal censorship he's referring to? Let me get this straight: "record page views" as a result of a DDOS attack (positive, according to him) = liberal censorship (negative, in his eyes)? I guess if the only way you get page views is through DDOS attacks, but at the same time, the only way you justify your lack of visitors is liberal censorship, then that logic makes sense, but... I think my head is going to explode. άλφαTalk 10:17, 3 April 2011 (UTC)
In Hotel Andy, a fully-loaded passenger plan crashing in to the hotel would equate to a record occupancy rate! Godspeed, Andy!Concernedresident omg!!! ponies!!! 10:23, 3 April 2011 (UTC)
I did have a good chuckle at the "despite attempts at liberal censorship" remark, give how the Assfly and his gimps blocked and deleted all record of LArron completely and systematically destroying their dumb claims. DeltaStarSenior SysopSpeciationspeed! 11:56, 3 April 2011 (UTC)
That wasn't censorship. LArron was trolling and instead of cluttering up Andy's talk page with "facts" - which are known to have a liberal bias anyway - he should have been building an encyclopaedia. or a hospital. or both. --PsyGremlinFale! 12:16, 3 April 2011 (UTC)
  • much of my stuff is still there, especially my musings about the best new conservative words...
  • most amusing thing missing: my exchange about censorship with Ed Poor, immortalized in wigo 3767: Ed Poor proves the absenceimg of censorshipimg at Conservapedia by creating a newimg exampleimg.
  • Andy just seized to answer my questions, and then TK blocked me...
larronsicut fur in nocte 12:41, 3 April 2011 (UTC)
Ah yes, where even when it was Andy who unblocked you, TK still crawled into the Fab Five, gloating about how he'd cleverly seen through your sock's name and that everybody should wave you goodbye. You know, know that I mention TightKnickers' name I can't help but wonder just how (in)visible CP would be today, if he'd been around at the time of the DDoS attack... --PsyGremlinFale! 12:54, 3 April 2011 (UTC)

March 2011 at CP, RW and CZ[edit]

Enjoy --larronsicut fur in nocte 13:10, 3 April 2011 (UTC)

That drop in Conservative's editing rate definitely shows that he was away for that month. Ancient Greek Pegasus icon.png 13:46, 3 April 2011 (UTC)
You forget that the dishonest schmuck over-sighted 99% of his actual edits to CP during the period, to give the impression he was "away". --PsyGremlinKhuluma! 13:51, 3 April 2011 (UTC)
Ah, that makes sense. Ancient Greek Pegasus icon.png 13:54, 3 April 2011 (UTC)
Excellent Rationalize (talk) 14:52, 3 April 2011 (UTC)
Actually, that's a point - LArron, is it possible to update the graphs, but instead of Ken's edits for the month, use Ken's patrol log? I'm sure we'll see a far more accurate picture of Ken's "holiday." --PsyGremlin話しなさい 15:48, 3 April 2011 (UTC)
As always LArron, you make it easy to see what's really going on at CP. Thanks! EddyP Great King! Disaster! 15:57, 3 April 2011 (UTC)
@PsyGremlin: Here you find a detailed picture of Ken's holiday larronsicut fur in nocte 16:45, 3 April 2011 (UTC)
larronsicut fur in nocte 16:45, 3 April 2011 (UTC)

new cp leaks[edit]

So when are the next ones due to be leaked? Sadly I already read through all of the ones posted and I wanna see what happens next! άλφαTalk 15:45, 3 April 2011 (UTC)

The cabalThere is no cabal. The cabal can go fuck themselves[1].

will only be releasing the chat threads currently being forwarded to them, once the releasing sysop in question throws in the towel at CP. The intel is too good to waste at the moment. --PsyGremlin말하십시오 15:51, 3 April 2011 (UTC)

Good to know; I'm anxiously awaiting it (how sad is THAT). άλφαTalk 18:05, 3 April 2011 (UTC)
Do want! Karajou's been acting extra hateful, would love to see his rhetoric behind the scenes. AndyToad.gifNorsemanCyser Melomel 23:47, 3 April 2011 (UTC)

The said it, they finally said it![edit]

Yes, we finally have the substition of "pro-abortion" with "baby-murdering"img. Who needs PC, when you can call an abortion the same as slitting a one year olds throat! Oh, and the best thing?  K e n  D o l l  sees it and does nothingimg (except adding some categories). --UHMharassme 17:45, 3 April 2011 (UTC)

I see nothing when I click on the capture tags; is this only me? άλφαTalk 17:56, 3 April 2011 (UTC)
It's not just you. Actually my intertubes are now telling me that it can't find Conservapedia at all. I'll tell it to check behind the toilet.Darkmind1970 (talk) 18:04, 3 April 2011 (UTC)
It looks like the DDoS attacks are back. 74.65.142.115 (talk) 18:16, 3 April 2011 (UTC)

My wikifu is not that good but I've tried to cap the images. one and two. Hope this works as it took me 8 tor efforts to capture this load of bollocks. Oldusgitus (talk) 18:57, 3 April 2011 (UTC)

Works fine. What I'm waiting for is someone to point out that Atheists get less divorces then christians.--Thunderstruck (talk) 01:14, 4 April 2011 (UTC)
Thanks for that, I showed this to my gf and we had a good laugh and a "go figure" moment. Senator Harrison (talk) 02:27, 4 April 2011 (UTC)

Conservative censorship[edit]

How ironic for Andy to bleat about liberal censorship preventing his bullshit list of words being visible to the world 9well, the world that isn't 403'd of course!) while his little fucktard buddies are taking down my blog. Annoyingly, WordPress hasn't told what terms of service I've violated, will be interesting to see what lies those two little fucktards came up with.

WCMTU blog.png

I guess conservative values don't run to thick skins. And a little criticism Still, no doubt they little whiney asses that are Karajerk and Jpratt are masturbating furiously at their supposed win. But I've been expecting this for a while - blogs will be back up by the end of the day. --PsyGremlin話しなさい 09:20, 4 April 2011 (UTC)

Liberal censorship is a problem. Conservative censorship is okay. --Night Jaguar (talk) 09:25, 4 April 2011 (UTC)
"Psygremlin" (you can't even post in your own real name), how many adults do you see acting as pages in the workforce? I've managed to read your rants and like most liberals you act like you're smarter than every one else and hope that people will agree with you because you seem smart and "reasonable", so let me guess: you're not a church goer. You are in complete denial that that prayer reduces violence. In sum, crudeness, vulgarity, mockery, sarcasm and parody aren't humor. Enough said.--aschlafly 06:46, 21 July 2019 (UTC)
Hmm. Would be very interested not only to see what part of the Terms of Service they think you have breached, but also how they established that, or did they simply take down the site without actually looking into it? Worm(t | c) 09:52, 4 April 2011 (UTC)
If you know for sure it was one of them, it was probably thanks to you saying further Conservapedia cabals would be leaked after the source had been cut off. Either way, it sucks. SJ Debaser 10:02, 4 April 2011 (UTC)
Psy, do you have your posts archived somewhere? Concernedresident omg!!! ponies!!! 10:11, 4 April 2011 (UTC)
No worries - we're back in business. --PsyGremlinKhuluma! 10:25, 4 April 2011 (UTC)
My guess is Karajou, writing lengthy emails to wordpress (no doubt with references to JUDGES and JAILS), after the Youtube-of-his-son issue. Rather than read through all his crap and follow it up, wordpress probably thought it would be easier to take your blog down and see if you complain. ONE / TALK 10:36, 4 April 2011 (UTC)
Maybe you violated their TOS because "Blogs with the primary purpose of attacking an individual or group of individuals are not welcome on WordPress.com." Redchuck.gif ГенгисIs the Pope a Catholic? 10:38, 4 April 2011 (UTC)
Perhaps we should coordinate a denial of service attack in retaliation. Clickbot (talk) 10:41, 4 April 2011 (UTC)
Heh, only took the whiney bastards three years to do that. Still, at least we know the truth hurts. --PsyGremlinKhuluma! 10:46, 4 April 2011 (UTC)
Glad it's back. It's reasonable to assume CP's hand in this, not least of all because the paranoia level at CP is right now at an all time high, but we can't be certain. Could just be good trolling. Concernedresident omg!!! ponies!!! 11:01, 4 April 2011 (UTC)
I was thinking the same thing CR, but didn't TK and Karajou report us for DDOSing Visa and whatever else after the wikileaks blowup because we WEREN'T talking about it? Senator Harrison (talk) 11:19, 4 April 2011 (UTC)
They didn't report us, they just discussed the silence as evidence. ONE / TALK 11:26, 4 April 2011 (UTC)

Rand Paul flummoxes Reid[edit]

I'm curious, am I maybe missing something here. Andy crowsimg that the new love of his life has confounded Harry Reid (I notice the "despicable" has died along with TK).

However, reading the article, it sounds like Paul wanted to attach an amendment to the "small-business re-authorization bill" chastising President Obama for his actions in Libya.

WTF does the "small-business re-authorization bill" have to do with Libya? I'm also confounded. --PsyGremlinPrata! 11:15, 4 April 2011 (UTC)

Politicians are retarded over here. They tried to pass that "force of law" bill to override the senate and the president, a shining example of "not even wrong". Senator Harrison (talk) 11:22, 4 April 2011 (UTC)
I think the US system works in such a way that a 'rider' can be attached to a bill, no matter how unrelated it is. Not sure why, or how accurate I am in that. ONE / TALK 11:24, 4 April 2011 (UTC)
Has capture bot died? I am not seeing anything on the latest capture. Or is it ddos'd. Oldusgitus (talk) 11:26, 4 April 2011 (UTC)
You're right ONE. That way people can sneak in funds for KKK museums or buildings dedicated to themselves. ALSO: I think CP screwed up their 403'ing. I live in NJ but apparently I'm blocked. 11:29, 4 April 2011 (UTC)
Or porn riders on science bills. Nebuchadnezzar (talk) 03:07, 5 April 2011 (UTC)

Conservative Songs[edit]

I was looking at the list of conservative songs on CP, and noticed there are some written by atheists, agnostics and freethinkers. Besides just bone-crushing ignorance, I can't imagine why they would leave them up there. Weird. Jimaginator (talk) 20:43, 4 April 2011 (UTC)

Two possibilities:
  1. They don't know.
  2. They think all of those were some kind of "deep cover christians" just like Orwell.
Hard to decide which one would be more stupid. --UHMharassme 20:48, 4 April 2011 (UTC)
TCOB by BTO is my favorite. Andy defended it, claiming it championed self-employment (specifically the kind where you "work at nothing all day"). The funny thing is, I can see how Andy thinks he relates to that. Occasionaluse (talk) 20:52, 4 April 2011 (UTC)
Because people fail to actually listen to the lyrics of any song that mentions "red white and blue" and automatically assume it's "patriotic." See "Born in the USA" by Bruce Springsteen or "Fortunate Son" by CCR.
I also love the wingnut co-opting of Orwell because he was anti-commie. And how Orwell is presented as a conservative luminary beside the Founding Fathers, Milton Friedman, and...Sarah Palin. Nebuchadnezzar (talk) 21:01, 4 April 2011 (UTC)
I had started a 4chan thread urging vandalism a few weeks back. Little came of it, except for one user who added a song by the band "Wumpscut." Sadly, another cp user, I think MartyP, Max Fletcher, or DennyW66 caught it and exposed it for CP street cred.--Brxbrx (talk) 21:25, 4 April 2011 (UTC)

The thing about Andy (and many conservatives who compile lists of "greatest conservative [blank]"), is that he's incapable of distinguishing behaviour or sentiments he agrees with from his ideology. He truly believes all goodness is "conservative" and all evil is "liberal". I am not exaggerating at all. There are no inbetweens or neutral topics. See his moronic misinterpretation of Orwell's "all issues are political issues". --YossarianSpeak, Memory 21:30, 4 April 2011 (UTC)

Countdown to cp/wingnut meltdown in[edit]

3, 2, 1 Oldusgitus (talk) 11:12, 4 April 2011 (UTC)

Heres hoping a REAL progresive runs against him. I am not happy with how conservative obama has been.--Thunderstruck (talk) 16:37, 4 April 2011 (UTC)
Great, so he can split the vote and we end up with a republican reactionary. Wonderful idea. Brilliant! --DamoHi 00:19, 5 April 2011 (UTC)
As opposed to a "democrat" president who continues tax cuts for the wealthy, the continuation of 2 wars and starting a third, offering cuts to low income heating assistance to republican house members without even negotiating. Ya know, I dont understand why republicans hate him, he bends over backwards to appease them.--Thunderstruck (talk) 01:57, 5 April 2011 (UTC)
That's not fair and you now it. Obama has to work within the system he finds himself, not in some dream state that you would like. He can't magically make wars disappear, nor can he make the senate do everything he wants without some negotiation. Do you think Mitt Romney would better advance your agenda? --DamoHi 02:14, 5 April 2011 (UTC)
What part of anything I just said advocated a republican. I voted democrat, I have a right to expect him to ACT like a democrat. The fact is, he hadan entire year with a filibuster proof senate, theres alot he could have gotten done. But if you had read my rant, he's giving this stuff up WITHOUT negotiations. And lets not forget he has a presidential veto, he could easily tell republicans to back off the middle class, tax those making 100G+ a year (or 250G+ familys), go after a bloated defence budget rather then npr and planned parenthood, which despite what the right believes, does not give out tax payer funded abortions like candy, but rather uses the money for things like breast cancer screanings. If it comes down to obama and a conservative, i'll still vote obama, but I have a right to be pissed if he acts like a republican president.--Thunderstruck (talk) 03:01, 5 April 2011 (UTC)
Oh boy, this looks like an O-bot vs. Firebagger thread on Balloon Juice already. Obama did have to compromise on the legislative side, but his cabinet and advisory picks (Turbotax Tim Geithner, Bob Rubin, Larry Summers, reappointing Bernanke, shitcanning Paul Volcker, etc.), his escalation of Afghanistan and continuing detainment policies show his true colors. Of course, I'd love to see a Mike Gravel or Russ Feingold in the White House (and hell would surely freeze over). However, running someone against your incumbent is pretty much political suicide. Nebuchadnezzar (talk) 03:19, 5 April 2011 (UTC)
There is a difference between saying you are dissatisfied with Obama and saying that you hope an independent runs against him (which will increase the chances of a republican winning). I think you are being unfair on Obama re the tax cuts and many of the other legislative changes you wished he would make. Just because the democrats had a majority in the senate doesn't mean they would all vote for his policies. Were this a westminister style system I could understand you a little better but I think that you are overestimating the power of a president. --DamoHi 03:44, 5 April 2011 (UTC)
Politics is the art of the possible. I see a lot of people take highly principled stands thinking that they're own man is not socialist/conservative enough and they would gain more votes by being more extreme. The majority of the electorate are usually in the middle and as the herd makes a slight move to the left or right then the balance of power changes sides. If you want long-term change you have to adopt a long-term strategy and take people with you a small step at a time because you need to change the underlying values and perceptions of the populace at large and that is like trying to turn round an oil tanker.  Lily Inspirate me. 09:11, 5 April 2011 (UTC)
Damo, there is a difference between wanting a primary challange to obama, and hoping someone runs on the independant ticket. And I also realize that the president dosn't have sole power over the country, thats what the checks and balances are for. But since the 2010 elections, when republicans took the HOUSE ONLY, its like the country is back to being run by republicans, because obama wont stand up to republicans, and demand they make they're "drastic cuts" on the backs of defence contractors and oil companys rather then the middle class.--Thunderstruck (talk) 11:14, 5 April 2011 (UTC)

Ken's recent drivel[edit]

So now that Ken has returned from his 90-day sabbatical he's creating pages on wacko creationistsimg. Do they all enroll in Google SEO courses? Because Dr. Grady S. McMurtry also seems unable to use personal pronouns and repeats his name ten times on his home page (excluding title and external links). — Unsigned, by: 64.68.90.53 / talk / contribs 10:53, 5 April 2011 (UTC)

Hmmm, so how long until Dr McTurdy mentions that he "stumbled" along the fact that atheists are obese? --PsyGremlin話しなさい 11:29, 5 April 2011 (UTC)
Agreed, I guess we'll soon see something here or here and/or maybe in the newsletter, but I'm too lazy to sign up to that. --Sid (talk) 12:42, 5 April 2011 (UTC)
What the heck does "save a remnant mean?" It sounds suspiciously like "the bible is true because the bible says it's true and the evidence of the bible's truth is in the bible." Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svgUser:Nutty Roux/sigtalk 16:53, 5 April 2011 (UTC)
I love that "Dr" (of Divinity - lol) McTurdy, in the very first words of his biography, writes "A life member of Mensa International..." Does he really think Mensa membership automatically gives credibility to anyone? Mensa is kind of a joke - I would never tell people if I joined in the same way I would not go around telling people I watch porn. People who join Mensa are usually douchebags who think their Mensa membership bestows upon them another layer of respectability, and it really just says "I'm a douchebag who needs some way to convey that I am smart." --Leotardo (talk) 17:12, 5 April 2011 (UTC)
Ken claims that he was an evolutionist for 20 years (and a theistic evolutionist for 1.5 years - WTF?) but has now been a creationist for 27 years. There's nothing on the page Ken linked to but the CreationWrongView website says he taught evolution for 10 years and has been a Creationist for 35 years (get your facts right Ken). I love how these cretinists like to claim their earlier 'Evolutionist' credentials so that it gives greater weight to their conversion.  Lily Inspirate me. 17:41, 5 April 2011 (UTC)
Hey now, some of us need help to convey that we are smarter than the average bear, how do you suggest that me accomplish that? By doing demonstrably clever and meaningful work? What planet do you live on? --Opcn (talk) 18:12, 5 April 2011 (UTC)
McMurty is an example of intelligence being no bar to ignorance and silliness. For someone of his learning it must be willful ignorance at that. Creationism, honestly! What kind of adult believes that shit? Mensa - Life Member of Mensa. Yup, well done Dr. You passed the test, which is actually commendable, but the whole "life" thing appears based on the type of membership you were willing to pay for. It's not as if this life membership was magically bestowed for outstanding achievement in the field of excellence; life member just sounds better than Mensa member (subscription reviewed annually by direct debit)Concernedresident omg!!! ponies!!! 21:23, 5 April 2011 (UTC)

This will end badly[edit]

AugustO's days are numbered, as he keeps poking Andy about his (Andy's) bullshit translation of the Bible. Especially good: "I checked a couple of dictonaries and failed to find at the moment as a translation of ἰδού. Could you hint me to your source?"img (Hint - this will be thrown out because of the clumsy "Could you hint me to your source?") And hereimg - still carrying on about the whole 1 o'clock thing. There's no way Andy's going to allow pesky factual accuracy in his Bible. --PsyGremlin말하십시오 15:28, 5 April 2011 (UTC)

I love his suggestion of an Andy-commented bible. It'll be a shame when Andy ignores all those bullet points. ~ Kupochama[1][2] 15:36, 5 April 2011 (UTC)
If Andy has written a conservative commentary on the Bible, as opposed to actually attempting a full-scale translation -- well, it would still be tripe, because it's Andy. But I doubt it would have received the across-the-board scorn it did. It would have probably been ignored outside of RationalWiki. MDB (talk) 16:10, 5 April 2011 (UTC)
This makes me wonder what Andy's Crazy of the Year 2011 will be. We've had Lenski, we've had the CBP, what stunt will he pull this year to garner some (unfavourable) press for CP? Maybe he'll take Conservapedia's Law and his best new words public? --PsyGremlinSiarad! 16:17, 5 April 2011 (UTC)
A legitimate "conservative" commentary on the bible is a legitimate endeavor. Andy's no up to it nor is he really a conservative in any traditional sense. He also has no Greek, ergo he fails whenever he lays his grubby paws on the project. Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svgUser:Nutty Roux/sigtalk 16:19, 5 April 2011 (UTC)
Andy doesn't need Greek. He has the Best of the Public in the form of translation sites in the Internet. Knowledge of obscure languages is how liberal elites maintain their position in publicly-funded ivory towers. Deny this and lose all credibility. P-Foster (talk) 16:44, 5 April 2011 (UTC)
He tries using the internet concordance and Greek lexicon I showed him as a sock a long time ago but since he can't decline or conjugate, let alone actually pronounce what he's cutting and pasting, he ends up copy/pasting the undeclined/infinitive form of a word from an online concordance into an online dictionary and seeing if he agrees with the definition. If he doesn't, CBP time with hilarity ensuing with his anachronistic/politicized/batshitcrazy justifications for a particular definition that meets his "conservative" requirements. Win. Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svgUser:Nutty Roux/sigtalk 17:10, 5 April 2011 (UTC)
If only there were some way to convince him to translate it back to the ancient Greek. --Opcn (talk) 21:33, 5 April 2011 (UTC)
Funniest thing I heard all day. Thank you :-) Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svgUser:Nutty Roux/sigtalk 22:13, 5 April 2011 (UTC)
Opcn, I've read your contributions and it's clear you deny the very real existence of Hell. You must realise that translating the perfect Conservative Bible back into Greek would lose the modern subtleties of language, such as it being okay to be rich, fuck your daughters and keep slaves. Open your mind! –SuspectedReplicant retire me 22:24, 5 April 2011 (UTC)
Opcn also fails to realize that only modern English (to be more precise, modern American English) is capable of expressing the powerful (and conservative) concepts in the Bible. Open your mind and realize Ancient Greek can't express the Bible. EddyP Great King! Disaster! 22:47, 5 April 2011 (UTC)
Now that he's gotten bored with the CBP, I hope Andy begins a Conservative English Dictionary Project. He has in the past taken an interest in linguistics, redefined words and has claimed that the dictionary is wrong. Or maybe a Conservative Constitution Project, which rids the US Constitution of all that liberal bias. Parodists, start pushing Schlafly into either direction! --Night Jaguar (talk) 02:36, 6 April 2011 (UTC)
It's true, dictionaries do have a liberal bias. Nebuchadnezzar (talk) 02:40, 6 April 2011 (UTC)

Ed continues his longstanding war on women[edit]

I feel sorry for his wife and daughters. More so than for just knowing they were Moonies. Can you imagine having a father who honestly thought your gender made you an inferior being? "You want to be a scientist! Don't you know those are only a myth, dear? Now be a dear and go get randomly selected for marriage." --YossarianSpeak, Memory 21:25, 4 April 2011 (UTC)

Gotta love that casual, throw-away sexism.... *facepalm* --TheEgyptiansig001.png 21:52, 4 April 2011 (UTC)
He's married??? Ugh, how? Rationalize (talk) 22:25, 4 April 2011 (UTC)
His comment on the talk page for Ada Lovelace suggests he isn't mysoginistic, no, really he isn't:
Lots of people want to credit her with having written the first computer program or being the first computer programmer, but I think that honor should go to a different person ... possibly also a woman, by the way.
Though considering the pissy edit comment about feminist revisionism, yeah, we believe you Ed. Scarlet A.pngd hominem 22:49, 4 April 2011 (UTC)
Suggesting that women aren't absolutely the worst thing ever doesn't mean that he's not a misogynist. If someone said "most people of African descent are born criminals; oh George Washington Carver was a cool guy", they would still be a heinous racist. --Cyan mowse 2.png λινυσ() 18:25, 5 April 2011 (UTC)
Rationalize, I think I read somewhere that his church (Moonie) had a very strong hand in the marriage and generally arrange marriages for members. I could be wrong though, and there's probably some here who know more about it than me. EddyP Great King! Disaster! 22:53, 4 April 2011 (UTC)
I wonder if he mentioned in his wedding speech that he was user #188 and that many of this templates and articles at Wikipedia survive to this day? Concernedresident omg!!! ponies!!! 01:04, 5 April 2011 (UTC)

──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── I just did my regular "What are the morons doing?" check on CP, and judging by some of 188's edits ([2][3][4][5]) the Ada Lovelace thing seems aimed less at getting woman back into the kitchen and more about flying the Stars and Stripes: he's pushing Grace Hopper as the first programmer instead. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 12:47, 5 April 2011 (UTC)

Ed is so considerate - I'm 403'd on Conservapedia but can still follow his general editing trends... on Wikipedia. --Sid (talk) 13:01, 5 April 2011 (UTC)
Also, I'm an idiot who didn't realize that SR's links are WP links, thus rendering my post moot. XD --Sid (talk) 16:28, 5 April 2011 (UTC)
It can be a bit tiring looking at "Call Me Uncle" Ed's edits on WP. Everything he posts has some sort of agenda behind it, it's like his POV pushing is so ingrained as to be automatic. --Kels (talk) 15:05, 6 April 2011 (UTC)
Definitely. His innate laziness shows through, too. Things like this, where he has an idea and basically tells people to do it for him. This is another good one. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 15:12, 6 April 2011 (UTC)
That's Ed through and through - on WP and CP. Have random thought - look up random quote linked to random thought - paste quote - sit back and wait for others to do work - block if not happy with result. And this from the man who claims he wants to be held to the same academic standards to which he holds others. Seriously, just how desperate were WP to give Ed the powers he had? --PsyGremlinПоговорите! 15:27, 6 April 2011 (UTC)
I just have to save this postimg from SamHB... –SuspectedReplicant retire me 00:49, 7 April 2011 (UTC)
SamHB doesn't realise he's crossing swords with a "Webmaster, database administrator and computer programmer" (linked in). He (Ed) is just a bear of little brain. --Scream!! (talk) 01:16, 7 April 2011 (UTC)
Hmm, that pretty much confirms that he works for the Moonies, doesn't it? Which would mean his "teaching" is fill-in stuff in whatever school the church runs. --Kels (talk) 04:40, 7 April 2011 (UTC)
That's funny. Didn't he brag about dropping out of Tufts? Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svgUser:Nutty Roux/sigtalk 06:18, 7 April 2011 (UTC)

Visitors[edit]

I don't think that this has been commented on other than in relation to the DDoS attack, but MPL trumpets Conservapedia has broken its March record for the number of unique visitorsimg. Now does that mean that they had more unique visitors in March 2011 compared with March 2010, 2009, 2008 or 2007 but have still not broken their all-time monthly record? Or does it really mean that At Conservapedia we are too stupid to string coherent sentences together?  Lily Inspirate me. 09:07, 6 April 2011 (UTC)

As you commented above, even though Andy is a lawyer he has no clue how to use the English language. No wonder he screwed up at AT&T. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 09:15, 6 April 2011 (UTC)
I think that you have made an Andy insight. The Law is very strict on the meaning of words but Herr Schlafly typically insists that words mean what he chooses them to mean — neither more nor less; a very Humpty Dumpty trait.  Lily Inspirate me. 09:28, 6 April 2011 (UTC)

Dear MaxFletcher[edit]

You're trying too hard.img Still, it'll be interesting to see how Andy reacts to having yet another pair of shoelaces hanging out of his ass... --PsyGremlinHable! 12:34, 6 April 2011 (UTC)

Worst Liberal Movies looks like a great opportunity for parody. Whoever wordsmithed the Brokeback Mountain entry has my gratitude, but now I've snorted my Froot Loops all over the keyboard Simple (talk) 14:33, 6 April 2011 (UTC)
Indeed. I sense another "Greatest achievements by teenagers" coming on. --PsyGremlinKhuluma! 14:42, 6 April 2011 (UTC)
Experiment: Insert one of the items from Best Conservatives Movies into Worst Liberal Movies. See how long it takes CP to notice. MDB (talk) 15:10, 6 April 2011 (UTC)
All The President's Men - Makes Richard Nixon, the wholesome, upstanding, honest, and trusworthy Republican president (who would have won Vietnam if it weren't for the hippies, out to be some kind of crook, or something. Nebuchadnezzar (talk) 15:37, 6 April 2011 (UTC)
It looks to me like another IDuan. Not a parodist but someone desperately trying to "fit in" having no knowledge of the harsh reality of the situation. Ace of Spades 20:36, 6 April 2011 (UTC)
"4. Super Size Me - Blames obesity on great capitalist paragons like McDonald's and Sodexo." Parodist. Cheerio! (talk) 03:10, 7 April 2011 (UTC)

Karatoons[edit]

I've been sorting out Karajerk's weakly toons and find there are some gaps in the numbering. Does anybody have copies of, or knows what happened to toons 5, 23, 27 & 28?  Lily Inspirate me. 16:00, 6 April 2011 (UTC)

They formed a singularity of unfunny and ate themselves? Scarlet A.pngd hominem 16:03, 6 April 2011 (UTC)
There were some that were probably just too bad to keep on CP and so were... er... aborted. --PsyGremlin話しなさい 16:11, 6 April 2011 (UTC)
I've checked the upload and deletion logs but he doesn't seem to have ever uploaded them unless they have been vaporised without record in one of Ken's mainspace deletion sprees.  Lily Inspirate me. 16:37, 6 April 2011 (UTC)
I think he holds some back as "the lost toons" for his forthcoming book. --Leotardo (talk) 19:37, 6 April 2011 (UTC)
I'd actually consider buying a Director's Cut version of that book. I'd keep it somewhere safe for the future to remind myself that no, not everything was better "when I was your age". --Sid (talk) 19:44, 6 April 2011 (UTC)

FFUUUUUUUUUUU-[edit]

hidemyass is 403'sville--Brxbrx (talk) 18:26, 6 April 2011 (UTC)

That's really annoying, I used it quite often... larronsicut fur in nocte 18:29, 6 April 2011 (UTC)
DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS- working again.--Brxbrx (talk) 18:48, 6 April 2011 (UTC)
Call me, sweetheart. P-Foster (talk) 20:49, 6 April 2011 (UTC)
They have so many blocks that I think they occasionally need to use proxies themselves. There will always be proxies open for viewing, you just need to know who to ask. Occasionaluse (talk) 18:57, 6 April 2011 (UTC)
I use it also, sometimes it is blocked but just wait 20mins and it usually comes back. Ace of Spades 20:37, 6 April 2011 (UTC)
I think someone made a little script on the backend. More than x requests in period y and you get 403'd. Occasionaluse (talk) 20:46, 6 April 2011 (UTC)
You think they have the technical know-how to make such a script and let it run on a straining server without breaking it for a week? You're funny! --Sid (talk) 23:18, 6 April 2011 (UTC)

Capturebot[edit]

I made a couple of diagrams to show the importance of capture bot. I hope our clever technicians find a way to get it working again... --larronsicut fur in nocte 18:28, 6 April 2011 (UTC)

Please remind my lazy ass...what's wrong with it? Is it just 403'd? Occasionaluse (talk) 18:41, 6 April 2011 (UTC)
It was 403'd but it's fine again now. Trent fixed it. –SuspectedReplicant retire me 18:45, 6 April 2011 (UTC)

DMorris, please learn how to spell![edit]

Dear DMorris: I felt "squirmish" (sic) reading your user page. I "charish" (sic) the day you learn how to spell. Admin huh? Yowsa! Jimaginator (talk) 20:20, 6 April 2011 (UTC)