Conservapedia talk:What is going on at CP?/Archive112

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Imagebot[edit]

... has got to be speeded up or automated, the second WIGO (JPatt etc ...) now contains two dead links & no images. I have no idea what it's about. Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 17:05, 30 January 2009 (EST)

I am thinking about how to do it. tmtoulouse 17:11, 30 January 2009 (EST)
TK deleted the page because Cheryl's (?) IP edited WIGO. This is the article: [1] --Arcan ¡ollǝɥ 17:14, 30 January 2009 (EST)
Getting it to run whenever someone makes a non-minor edit? Educated word Phantom! 17:15, 30 January 2009 (EST)

(EC) In the Obama inauguration article, Jpatt claims that Obama's inauguration cost three times as much as Bush's, but cited it using this article from about.com which completely debunks it (it's an "Urban Legends" page ffs). CherylE pointed it out on the talk page & Jpatt initially insisted he couldn't see the problem with using that source. This then the citations's been replaced with a different one (which swallows the myth); clearly CP is happy to perpetuate rumours even after they've been shown to be false. Anyhoo, judging by the wording of the WIGO above, I think the talk page was vapourised because it showed TK identifying CherylE as a RW editor. ЩєазєюіδWeaselly.jpgMethinks it is a Weasel 17:16, 30 January 2009 (EST)

It might be best if we encourage people to take their own screenshots if they can, and upload if the bot misses something. Yours trulyDear Sir 17:19, 30 January 2009 (EST)
It's all gone rather academic anyhow: I can't raise 'em at all - 3 different reasons culminating in "network error" Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 17:30, 30 January 2009 (EST)
503: maintenance downtime or capacity problems. Could be a DoS attack? Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 17:32, 30 January 2009 (EST)
Or it could just be an incompetent sysop. Hanlon's Razor and all that.... --Gulik 17:36, 30 January 2009 (EST)
It's cutting in & out at present. ЩєазєюіδWeaselly.jpgMethinks it is a Weasel 17:37, 30 January 2009 (EST)
It's been doing that all day. Neveruse513 17:48, 30 January 2009 (EST)
Although I hate the duplicitous old bastard, I've got to say his dismissal of CherylE is quite amusing. Rule 1 of WIGO - never WIGO your own work. It smacks of egocentrism. Also, if you do WIGO something save it for posterity with a screencap. Our automated image maker may be too late on the scene. I mainly use FireFox as my primary browser and there is a screengrab extension which sits in the statusbar allowing quick saving of browser page, in entirety or just the visible portion. I strongly recommend it. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 17:38, 30 January 2009 (EST)
hah...It shouldn't be a problem anymore. Neveruse513 17:50, 30 January 2009 (EST)
EC x n) Error 500: internal error or misconfiguration. Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 17:42, 30 January 2009 (EST)
I like how it's all as if TK succesfully caught the vandal.. but CherylE didn't do a thing wrong, she politely pointed out a glaringly obvious error in their article and it's their mindnumbingly strong ignorance which makes it funny.
I was just shocked I got JPatt to agree with the change. Him not noticing the obvious undertone of intellectual dishonesty was no surprise.
Hey TK, I'm in your wiki, editing your articles! Guess who I am! :-D --GTac 17:53, 30 January 2009 (EST)
DISCLAIMER: I'd like to point out that the above comment is the opinion of one individual and does not reflect the official site policy of RationalWiki. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 18:02, 30 January 2009 (EST)
Re:Fx extension. Which one is this? I use FireShot, but it fails to capture most long pages, coming with messages such as (for WIGO currently): "Insufficient video memory. You need at least 660 MB of RAM.", despite the fact that I have 4GB of RAM (5GB including VRAM), and only 500MB was being used. Do we know of any more reliable extension? Dreaded Walrus 19:23, 30 January 2009 (EST)
Screengab is the one most people use. - User \scriptstyle-i\ln(-1) 19:26, 30 January 2009 (EST)
Thanks! Works a treat! I just tried it out on this talk page. It lagged for a few seconds, but I now have a 1263x22544 1.61MB png saved. As good a test as any. :) Dreaded Walrus 19:37, 30 January 2009 (EST)
We should have a list of thing that you need to surf CP. I can't remember now but someone once wrote a greasemonkey program that changed the JS so it was easier to track changes. Was useful when editing here too. - User \scriptstyle-i\ln(-1) 19:40, 30 January 2009 (EST)
Nice to see so much interest shown in my recommendation. Hope this will ensure we get the necessary caps before they are memory holed. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 19:50, 30 January 2009 (EST)
There are probably quite a few FireFox users here. Perhaps someone would like to start page with people's favorite extensions? Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 19:54, 30 January 2009 (EST)
Your clueless assumption is unfounded. Firefox had a usage share of 21.34%, or 0.2134, in the fourth quarter of 2008, compared to IE's 68.15%. Even with a low estimate of 30 users, the chances of Firefox being popular on this blog are 0.213430 = 0.0000000000000000000075, compared to the IE probability of 68.1530 = 1 x 1055. Don't bother arguing; I've had more statistics than you. Aschlafly 21:56, 30 January 2009 (EST)


You can also get the RSS feed of the Recent Changes, as here (image reduced to about 1/3rd size for obvious reasons) which shows the actual changes made rather than just the edit comments.Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 20:05, 30 January 2009 (EST)
Win. What's the URL for the RSS? I see the link now. I'm a dolt. Neveruse513 20:16, 30 January 2009 (EST)

What about imagebot for CP Talk:WIGO? We're missing out on a lot of lulz here. Neveruse513 09:21, 2 February 2009 (EST)

The dangers of the Internet for the likes of CP[edit]

This is an interesting article. Right in the last few paragraphs it talks about the pitfalls for corporates getting social media wrong. The same dangers can be shown to be relevant to CP. Do sites like CP who rigorously police their content ensuring it to be "on message" actually do their cause more harm than good? And is it the right that suffers from this more than others? Incidentally, is there an equivalent to CP on the left, (ignoring for a moment the non-binary nature of politics)? Ajkgordon 18:46, 30 January 2009 (EST)

Yes. It is called Liberalpedia. It is a parody site. But then, so is CP. --"ConservapediaUndergroundThermistorRusty-spotted catspeed! 18:48, 30 January 2009 (EST)
A left equivalent of CP (or any other hyperconservative group/project for that matter) is impossible. While the far right self-identifies as conservative, identifies its opponents as the left, and establishes nigh-sacred doctrine, the far left is much more diffuse (infighting?), has no clear universal set of values (one is a feminist, one a environmentalist, another a socialist, another a unionist), and rarely self-identifies as "liberal." PubliusTalk
Considering reality has a known liberal bias, maybe it's actually WP...or even *gasp* RW? — Unsigned, by: 75.185.252.57 / talk / contribs
DKosopedia? I'd imagine most if not all of its readers self-identify as some isotope of "liberal". --Gulik 19:51, 30 January 2009 (EST)
I was wondering what happened to Proxima. - User \scriptstyle-i\ln(-1) 19:55, 30 January 2009 (EST)
And they have articles on topics dear to our hearts. Hope she's having fun. --Gulik 20:00, 30 January 2009 (EST)
Unfortunately the article on Andy is primarily from our own page (formerly at Andrew Schlafly (no jokes)). Also, this is just nitpicking, biut for a page to truly be the liberal equivalent of Conservapedia, wouldn't it have to accuse of WP of having a Conservative bias, and itself being the unbiased encyclopedia? From a brief scan, dKosopedia appears to wear its bias proudly on its sleeve. Dreaded Walrus 20:09, 30 January 2009 (EST)
Oh, I just got my best laugh of the day. The AS article was copied so "faithfully" that it still has our little box at the top. I hope they have someone there to add commas to her writing. ħumanUser talk:Human 21:50, 30 January 2009 (EST)
Arg the style it burns! Why did I go and read??? ħumanUser talk:Human 21:53, 30 January 2009 (EST)
Anyone want to create a list of Republican Senators in states with Democrat Governors? - User \scriptstyle-i\ln(-1) 23:24, 30 January 2009 (EST)
Naw.... ħumanUser talk:Human 00:56, 31 January 2009 (EST)
God, I hate it when she does that. Anyone want to tell her to stop? If she copies enough articles from here, no one will bother visiting us. Also, she needs to learn to ask for Christ's sake. Even if technically all our content is released under... whatever license we use, it is still the proper thing to ask. Star of David.png Radioactive afikomen Please ignore all my awful pre-2014 comments. 15:27, 31 January 2009 (EST)
RW isn't pretending to be an encyclopedia though, unlike CP. Dreaded Walrus 19:48, 30 January 2009 (EST)

But about the doing more harm than good thing... Are US conservatives embarrassed by sites like CP? Do they feel, like an enlightened employee of a corporate complaining about its censored company blog, that CP damages the conservative movement? And does this damage include turning off kids who are open to good arguments from all quarters only to have any nascent conservative views dashed on the rocks of teh crazy? Or is CP simply too insignificant to have any real effect on mainstream conservatism? Ajkgordon 04:28, 31 January 2009 (EST)

It's an interesting thought, for sure. I'm not sure about any big-name conservatives, but my fiancée is both American and semi-conservative (although consciously aware enough to make Team America jokes whenever some news story pops up showing something bad that the US has done on the world stage), and she completely disagrees with CP on pretty much everything. It's not common for me to mention something from WIGO to her and for her to agree with CP on it.
To be honest though, I think she's probably in the majority when it comes to US conservatives. A lot of people voted for John McCain in the election, and I met quite a few McCain fans when I was in America last year who are about as far from CP as you can get. Tradition-minded and religious, sure, but relatively intelligent and free-thinking. They opposed Obama, but had much better reasons than "he's a Muslim"/"he's not even American", which are considered important enough to go even above the TOC on CP, of course. I'm rambling, anyway. It would be interesting if there was a proper discussion on this topic somewhere, though. Or if there was a popular conservative forum which had a topic discussing CP. Anyone know of any? Dreaded Walrus 06:55, 31 January 2009 (EST)
I get the impression that CP is insignificant. I don't think I've ever seen anyone reference it in a blog that wasn't either making fun of it or one of Conservative's link-exchanging shills. --Gulik 09:46, 31 January 2009 (EST)
There's lots of Free Republic posts about it, and opinion appears to mostly be polarised between "this site is an embarrassment" and "Bookmarked! Thanks for the link!" Dreaded Walrus 09:57, 31 January 2009 (EST)
You know you're on the fringe when you're too far-right for the Freepers. --Gulik 15:19, 31 January 2009 (EST)
Heh, that was fun. Go here and scroll to the bottom and read post #49. It's almost worth stealing for an article here. ħumanUser talk:Human 17:54, 31 January 2009 (EST)
That post smacks of 1066 and All That. Educated word Phantom! 17:57, 31 January 2009 (EST)
Sellar and Yeatman ftw.seventhrib 17:24, 1 February 2009 (EST)

CP's been broken all day for me[edit]

You?-Diadochus 22:53, 30 January 2009 (EST)

error 500; error 503. about 2 times out of 3. Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 23:10, 30 January 2009 (EST)
Me too, until I gave up. I wonder if that "anon" threat was serious, or if Andy forgot to upgrade his cable package? ħumanUser talk:Human 00:57, 31 January 2009 (EST)

Still getting 503 errors everywhere[edit]

What the hell did they do to their "trustworthy" internet access? I guarantee that's the reason for the Alexa valley. Let's just hope that it stays that way...-Diadochus 14:53, 31 January 2009 (EST)

I'm still getting 503's here and there too, not to mention the countless DNS errors...-- 侍  17:20, 2 February 2009 (EST)

A writing assignment for y'all[edit]

Anyone with a sock feel like writing a CP article on the Affirmative Action RNC Chairman? DickTurpis 23:34, 30 January 2009 (EST)

Andy would just claim he is more than qualified for the job. When the Republicans do it, it is because they are the best person for the job. When the Democrats do it, it is because of affirmative action. I remember reading a opinion piece which literally said that only Australia's right party could have the first female PM as she would work for the job; Labor would give it to her through affirmative action (even though nobody really talks about AA out here, I think the women who writes that column spends too much time looking at US politics and think Australian is equivalent). - User \scriptstyle-i\ln(-1) 00:29, 31 January 2009 (EST)
At the very least, wait for somebody else to make it and add that it is Affirmative Action (I happen to support his being selected because he was the most moderate of the five main runners. One guy got crap for being part of a country club that was marketed as all-white, the other black man running was Palin-levels to the social right, and then you had Mr. "Hey, let's show our outreach by sending these CDs with 'Barack the Magic Negro' on them!".) I'll even forgive him for coining "Drill baby Drill" until his first fuckup. ENorman 00:38, 31 January 2009 (EST)
the article should of course add that this appointment is in no conceivable way a reaction to the Democrats having a black President. It's not like that at all. Ohhhh no. Yours trulyDear Sir 07:43, 31 January 2009 (EST)
I love the idea that the Republicans are now a racially tolerant party. Look, we've got Negros too.... SirChuckBHITWIN FOR PRESIDENT! 19:25, 1 February 2009 (EST)

"Always focus on what you hate, not on what you love"[edit]

This seems to be CP's motto, especially when you compare cp:Obama Administration and cp:Bush Administration. Concise! --Sid 07:58, 31 January 2009 (EST)

Compare heterosexuality and homosexuality. ЩєазєюіδWeaselly.jpgMethinks it is a Weasel 09:13, 31 January 2009 (EST)
Wow. I had been deliberately staying away from the homosexuality article until now. One article is currently 495 times the size (in bytes) of the other - 1 point for those who can guess which without looking! (As an aside, Google is currently suggesting that every site on the internet "may harm my computer" through MalwareBytes. Anyone elsewarning: unoptimised, large image)?) fixed. Dreaded Walrus 09:51, 31 January 2009 (EST)
Well, I suppose that makes us guilty. Compare Andy Schlafly to Charles Darwin. Z3rotalk 09:56, 31 January 2009 (EST)
We're not refuting Charles Darwin, far as I know. --Kels 09:58, 31 January 2009 (EST)
While true, I think the point is that people in general spend more time on what they hate, compared to what they love. Z3rotalk 10:01, 31 January 2009 (EST)
I was thinking recently that our Darwin article does need expanding. There must be people here who know a lot about the subject, & we should address the whole "evolutionary racism" thing that gets bandied about at CP & other sites. ЩєазєюіδWeaselly.jpgMethinks it is a Weasel 10:38, 31 January 2009 (EST)
Interestingly, our longest page that isn't a refutation or pasted content is Converging lines of evidence. Dreaded Walrus 10:32, 31 January 2009 (EST)
I thought you said it wasn't pasted. Z3rotalk 10:44, 31 January 2009 (EST)
Oops, nice spot. That was just from a quick scan. The other pages were all either refutations (which is obvious) or mentioned right in the intro that it was pasted (Lenski stuff, and The Annotated Citizen's Rule Book). I guess I have to be wrong sometimes. :) Dreaded Walrus 10:55, 31 January 2009 (EST)
No problem; it's actually an interesting site that came from. Z3rotalk 11:18, 31 January 2009 (EST)

Why Msmon Hsmom will never be an admin[edit]

...and will probably be banhammered ere long: you cannot post positive information about Andy's newest whipping boy. DickTurpis 12:25, 31 January 2009 (EST)

They're freakin' down again. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 12:32, 31 January 2009 (EST)
PS Did you mean Hsmom? Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 12:36, 31 January 2009 (EST)
Indeed I did. DickTurpis 13:33, 31 January 2009 (EST)
Your new title is either brilliant parody or epic fail. I can't decide. Z3rotalk 13:40, 31 January 2009 (EST)

HSMom is an editor over there who always seems to fall on the side of logic. She is looking for the unvarnished truth in the topics she edits. I am not sure how she has survived as long as she has. I tend to wonder whether or not she is the mother of one of the student's in Andy's classes. That would explain why she has existed for so long. But, she seems too rational to want to stick her kids in one of those classes. So, I am back to being confused. Patrickr 14:18, 31 January 2009 (EST)

I don't think she's the parent of one of Andy's students. She strikes me as kind of an anti-Andy, in fact - someone who takes home-schooling seriously and works hard at getting things right, down to grammar and writing style, where Andy uses home-schooling to evade the need to accountable to quality standards.
This just gave me a thought - someone should suggest to Andy that he refine his online courses into textbook form, and offer them for sale on any number of self-publishing services where they could be printed on demand. I doubt he'd do this for three reasons - first, it would involve some actual work to make happen, second, I don't think he'd like the reviews, and third, even he must know that no one would actually pay money for this if it weren't for his family name. --SpinyNorman 14:36, 31 January 2009 (EST)
The problem with that suggestion is that it might backfire and people might actually buy it. I don't think I'd like to be responsible for exposing even more kids to his tripe than are strictly necessary. --JeevesMkII 14:54, 31 January 2009 (EST)
Back to HSMom, I seem to remember her when she first joined CP. Her user page said that she was a Home Schooling Mom (geddit) and she made a few edits to some articles and caught the attention of Andy. But before too long, she stated on her page that her husband had told her that she could no longer edit on CP, and being the good obedient christian wife that she was, she had to obey her husband. Then a while later, she cropped up again saying that she had separated from her husband. Andy, being the good, decent and considerate man that he is seemed to be all over her like a fly on dog shit to the point it was almost unpleasant to see. A bit like when your dad hits on your teacher at school open day.
Of course, I could have gotten her completely confused with someone else, or else dreamt the whole thing up in a drunken stupor. It's hard to confirm, seeing as CP has disappeared like a fart in a hurricane yet again. Bondurant 16:12, 31 January 2009 (EST)
Wasn't that Marge? Matt 16:20, 31 January 2009 (EST)
Matt's right: that was Marge, not HSmom. (although I believe there was an HSPop or HSdad at some time past. (who am I?) Bunchanumbers 16:26, 31 January 2009 (EST)
(EC) Yes, that was Marjorie Campbell (can't be sure of exact spelling). HSmom seems the type who actually makes a good attempt at homeschooling and insists on high standards. Where she has come unstuck is to try and apply them at Conservapedia. That's one thing that really bugs me about CP. They preach all this homsechooling stuff and when a competent proponent turns up she's pretty well much ignored. More than anything I think that shows why CP is essentially just Andy's classes with a personal blog stuck on the top. Every other article that could be construed as contributing to an encyclopedia is actually irrelevant. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 16:36, 31 January 2009 (EST)
HSMom reminds me of my aunt who homeschools one of her kids. Sadly, sanity and openmindedness are frowned upon at CP. But, I think HSMom holds the form of untouchability that CPAdmin1 and PJR possess as well. Let's watch. ENorman 17:27, 31 January 2009 (EST)

(undent)
It speaks volumes about Andy that HSmom was not included in the recent sysop promotions. She's low key, constructive, and pays attention to the proper kinds of details for an online encyclopedia project. Her only negative is that, unlike a JessicaT, she isn't treating Andy as if he is infallible and does not hesitate to call him out over the occasional hypocrisy, unverified claim or Schlafly Statistic. Instead of holding her up as a role model for good homeschooling, he'll never acknowledge her too much because her professionalism only emphasizes his incompetence and unprofessionalism. --SpinyNorman 20:10, 31 January 2009 (EST)

He's just displaying simple chivalry. As a woman, she is obviously handicapped, and he doesn't want to overload her with responsibility in this "man's world" of running dumb little wikis. Jus' saying, is all. ħumanUser talk:Human 22:30, 31 January 2009 (EST)
Good point - who'd be baking the cookies otherwise? --SpinyNorman 00:05, 1 February 2009 (EST)

You know, I'm amazed that the offending edit has yet to be reverted. Really, people, SHE'S DEFENDING THE FUCKING DAILY SHOW! YOU HATE THEM!!!!!!! Now go home and turn on Comedy fucking Central. DickTurpis 00:11, 1 February 2009 (EST)

It's probably been asked, but...[edit]

Has Andy ever explained how he ran the world's largest American History class while less than twenty students were turning in homework online? My guess was that either those parents don't have internet access or don't want their kids online, but I've been wondering how many actually were enrolled and stayed for the whole duration. Andy's also never posted the GPA for his class or a full anonymous list of the final-exam scores, has he? --SpinyNorman 14:40, 31 January 2009 (EST)

Of course not. Anybody saying he is less than perfect is an evil libural. --"ConservapediaUndergroundThermistorRusty-spotted catspeed! 14:45, 31 January 2009 (EST)
He does say that it is allowed to submit answers on paper. I'd hazard that the homskollar community is more abundantly supplied with kids who aren't allowed to use t'internet than the population at large. As far as GPAs are concerned, how on earth would he know? It isn't like his course was intellectually vigorous or anything. Any numbers that came out of it would have been pulled out of his arse anyway. --JeevesMkII 14:52, 31 January 2009 (EST)
You're right - I shouldn't have used the word "GPA", since what I'm looking for is the (anonymous) list of his students' grades on his final exam. Andy's big about touting a single student getting 100%, and for me missing 14-odd questions when I took it, but the truly interesting info is how the students did overall. I wonder what the distribution of grades actually was, because unlike his homework he can't just hand out 98's and 99's for crap. --SpinyNorman 20:18, 31 January 2009 (EST)

Liberal deceit[edit]

This discussion was moved here from Talk:Andrew Schlafly (no jokes).

I take it you have all heard about how Assfly deleted the liberal deceit article?--British coat of arms.png Redcoat British coat of arms.png 14:20, 31 January 2009 (EST)

On CP? He actually did that? Why? --"ConservapediaUndergroundThermistorRusty-spotted catspeed! 14:21, 31 January 2009 (EST)
Perhaps he felt the term was a tautology, like wet water. If all deceit is liberal, and all liberals are deceitful, why explain it? Yours trulyDear Sir 16:05, 31 January 2009 (EST)
I think there's another explanation. Something is going on here. Odd. Very odd. --"ConservapediaUndergroundThermistorRusty-spotted catspeed! 16:06, 31 January 2009 (EST)
Wasn't Andy actually. See [2]. Are you sure there ever was a "liberal deceit" article (rather than just a redirect)? I thought there was too, but I can't find anything out about it. Perhaps we all imagined there was a liberal deceit article as it's such a favourite phrase of Andy's. ЩєазєюіδWeaselly.jpgMethinks it is a Weasel 16:28, 31 January 2009 (EST)
There was one. There was one. Someone ask teh fly on his user page. --"ConservapediaUndergroundThermistorRusty-spotted catspeed! 16:29, 31 January 2009 (EST)
As far back as I remember "liberal deceit" was just a redirect to "deceit," but the article focuses on liberal deceit of course :)-Diadochus 16:35, 31 January 2009 (EST)
And they have http://www.conservapedia.com/Previous_Breaking_News/Liberal_deceit and http://www.conservapedia.com/Liberal_religious_deceit Barraki 17:21, 31 January 2009 (EST)
Liberal deceit has been a redirect to deceit for ages. If they deleted anything, it was a redirec, which is hardly newsworthy, and which will no doubt be recreated shortly (I can't see what they did because the site isn't loading. Again.) DickTurpis 18:02, 31 January 2009 (EST)
Funny, I automatically assumed there was a "liberal deceit" article, too. But I suppose he would see that as a bit of a tautology... --Purple George!YossieSpring in Fialta 19:38, 31 January 2009 (EST)
No, Liberal Deceit would just be an exact replica of their current Deceit article, so they sensibly made it a redirect (no Conservative Deceit article or redirect of course). The deceit article is only liberals anyway (except Hans van Meegeren, who I added as an apolitical example back when I actually thought CP might be improved by my contributions, and which will now be promptly removed (HI TK!!!!)). DickTurpis 23:38, 31 January 2009 (EST)

Where are the people like Ben Domenech, Owen Lippert, Mark Mathis, Dick Cheney and other such known liars and plagiarists? I mean, the page is simply "deceit" now, and the site is "The Trustworthy Encyclopedia," one would think that true deceit is deceit regardless of their political or religious views, right? --Irrational Atheist 19:58, 1 February 2009 (EST)

You have it backwards. If they committed Deceit, then they're not REALLY Real True Conservatives. Or something. --Gulik 19:30, 2 February 2009 (EST)

Yep, JPatt is a parodist[edit]

COME ON. "Palin for Senate, Jeb Bush for President!" Really?-Diadochus 02:29, 1 February 2009 (EST)

I don't know. He's been so under the radar for so long. If he is, he's extremely dedicated and perhaps a little disturbed. Then again, if he isn't, he has a worse grasp of English than JM. --Arcan ¡ollǝɥ 02:34, 1 February 2009 (EST)
Which JM?
BTW, not to be too Ken about things, but I am happy to announce that there are circumstances and information which ensure that we will be getting some exciting news about JPatt very soon, probably as soon as these server troubles at CP are over. Coarb 02:52, 1 February 2009 (EST)
I think Jpatt's parodist credential's were kindof obvious with the Obama inauguration thing (citing a source which debunks the stats he was quoting). Also Palin is a "real women [sic], skirt and all" - shades of women wearing pants? ЩєазєюіδWeaselly.jpgMethinks it is a Weasel 09:22, 1 February 2009 (EST)
No, his middle name is Poe. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 09:34, 1 February 2009 (EST)
Ooooh, Coarb, don't get my hopes up!-Diadochus 10:57, 1 February 2009 (EST)
Have you found pictures of Hitler reading The Origin of Species to JPatt while curled up in front of a pile of burning Bibles Coarb?-- Antifly Now with 50% less retirement! 12:12, 1 February 2009 (EST)

Elementary Proof[edit]

The silly sentence Elementary proofs cannot be broken down into smaller proofs of the same proposition was introduced by some user on April 13, 2007. On January 16, 2008, AndyJM removed it, after a contribution on the talk page. The same day, the great mathematician Andy Schlafly reintroduced the sentence, without giving any further explanation, while Foxtrot at least shows his lack of knowledge on the talk page: that Andy likes the statement is enough for him. (It's always fun seeing Foxtrot talking to a mathematician). AndyJM explains his position, i.e., that the statement Andy Schlafly endorses is nonsense, and R. Schlafly agrees with him. l'arronsicut fur in nocte 09:00, 1 February 2009 (EST)

On wonders what Roger does at CP, does he just lurk until something on his radar moves? Because we hardly ever see him until something crops up and he responds quite quickly. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 09:58, 1 February 2009 (EST)
Could be Andy specifically asked for Roger's input, assuming he back him up. That would actually be pretty awesome. DickTurpis 13:55, 1 February 2009 (EST)
I suspect he lurks. Andy isn't the kind of guy to ask for input unless he's certain it's going help his case. Roger has that nasty habit of disagreeing with him on occasion. Though, it's not beyond the realm of possibility that he asked. I sometimes have to remind myself that Andy is only about 99% of his Internet caricature... --Purple George!YossieSpring in Fialta 19:22, 1 February 2009 (EST)
Andy has asked Roger questions in the past (Goldbach's conjecture, IIRC) but that related to setting up the "critical thinking in math" curriculum. I doubt that he would ask Roger about something that amounts to asking for help in a dispute. Roger has disagreed with Andy on mathematical matters too many times, and his statement about elementary proofs is about what one (even Andy) would expect. Gauss 00:54, 2 February 2009 (EST)

'bots[edit]

For those with a little experience of 'bots: This should make Conservative quite unhappy... l'arronsicut fur in nocte 15:13, 1 February 2009 (EST)

Uh-oh. --AKjeldsenCum dissensie 15:16, 1 February 2009 (EST)
Might have been the right call though - CP is responding, and fast. Could also be a coincidence. --BoN 15:21, 1 February 2009 (EST)
What does it do? Educated word Phantom! 15:24, 1 February 2009 (EST)
It asks all bots not to visit any site of CP l'arronsicut fur in nocte 15:27, 1 February 2009 (EST)
Hahaha. Suckers. Etc 15:30, 1 February 2009 (EST)
EC)EC) Hee! Hee! Stops bots counting linx & stuff @ a guess. How long has that been there? & where's the reaction. (I get more 503 errors than page views) Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 15:33, 1 February 2009 (EST)
It's there for not longer than 24 hours. When I gather data from a site, I look up the robots.txt file - as a common courtesy. l'arronsicut fur in nocte 15:37, 1 February 2009 (EST)
BTW, I used my bot quite a few times, adding a couple of thousand hits to Aschlafly's precious hit-counter at the main-page. But it was never very invasive, it's quite lame, actually, and had no effect on the performance of the site as far as I can tell. l'arronsicut fur in nocte 15:41, 1 February 2009 (EST)
Dammit. Now  K e n  D o l l  will fix that. Had it been kept, this would have been the greatest subtle vandalism ever. ENorman 15:43, 1 February 2009 (EST)
Maybe we should have a sooper seekrit forum where we can discuss things like this in private. Maybe call it Conservapedia And Bots (Acess Limited). Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 16:04, 1 February 2009 (EST)
"Unfriendly" bots would ignore it anyway, right? Was it intended as a defense against attack bots? ħumanUser talk:Human 16:12, 1 February 2009 (EST)
Depends... for example, it would stop script kiddies from hammering the site with wget, since wget respects the robot exclusion standard. And, coincidence or not, I haven't got a single server error in the last hour or so... --BoN 16:19, 1 February 2009 (EST)
So now bots don't work? --"ConservapediaUndergroundThermistorRusty-spotted catspeed! 16:17, 1 February 2009 (EST)
Well, civil bots will follow the outline, as you can read here. This includes google-bots, etc. - so, at the moment, the site is not included into any update of google's stats. The robots.txt file is a new feature at CP, and of course, it is set in the most secretive way possible. The internet illiteracy of the powers to be (hi TK :-) at CP is staggering. Take for instance a look at this:
blocked IPs
The find a new toy - in this instance range blocks - but they don't know how to use it sensibly.
I expect a similar pattern for any new technology they are confronted with.
l'arronsicut fur in nocte 16:59, 1 February 2009 (EST)
I've started to call these blocks "rage blocks" to myself. But let us consider Ken; he seems to be proud to announce that his evolution article drops (see latest WIGO). From the data, we can draw the conclusion that Ken is stupid. Will he touch robots.txt? I don't think he has rights to do that, and Andy isn't obsessed enough with search engine rankings to lift his ass off his butt-bible. I assume of course, that Andy rests his holy ass on a Bible instead of an ungodly chair. Etc 17:10, 1 February 2009 (EST)
Only a liberal would deny that 9 is bigger than (and thus superior to) 8. And there's no chance in Hell hell that Ken has access to robots.txt. That'd require ssh access to the server, and I'd be surprised if he even knew what ssh is. alt 17:28, 1 February 2009 (EST)
Did he just "raise the chocolate ration" in that diff? Yours trulyDear Sir 17:22, 1 February 2009 (EST)

I'm getting a 403 Verboten from the IP that my "night edit mode checker" runs from. Has the bot policy changed? Their Commandments still say that read-only bots are okay. --Interiot 22:17, 1 February 2009 (EST)

Apparently, for now (if you check the link that starts this section) they have currently disabled all "friendly" bots. PS, Fuck the Kommandments. They never counted anyway. ħumanUser talk:Human 22:37, 1 February 2009 (EST)
  1. They improved their robots.txt file
  2. They shut out the IP which my bot used, too. They seemingly tried to get rid of all automatized calls. Wonder what this will do to Aschlafly's gloating page-view count? (Conservapedia has had over 78,200,000 page views and over 585,000 page edits.) I suspect that all pings of your "night edit mode checker" were included into this number
l'arronsicut fur in nocte 23:08, 1 February 2009 (EST)
A few months back, I had a little project to spell a message in the most popular pages in the same vein as the spelling wandal. Of course, no one noticed, but it amused me for a while. It was a real pain in the arse finding pages with the right titles that I wouldn't have to add more than a few thousands views to get in the right place. --JeevesMkII 05:15, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Nice idea, kind of elusive art-form :-) Any pic? l'arronsicut fur in nocte 05:29, 2 February 2009 (EST)

Nota bene[edit]

For viewers from Tony Sidaway's blog especially, please note that a google crawling bot is NOT a vandalism bot. We do not endorse bot vandalism. Goodbye.-Diadochus 00:30, 3 February 2009 (EST)

Is Schlafly a parodist?[edit]

Maybe it was here, but someone wrote something like,
"In a sufficiently absurd belief system, it becomes impossible to distinguish parody from earnestness."
That's why this blew me away.
Andy: "irrelevant liberal bias removed; Daily Show watchers are public school TV watchers, most of whom probably couldn't get 50% on the American History exam here".
That is exactly what I would write if I was a parodist. I am jealous of such complete self-delusion.

Teabag 21:06, 1 February 2009 (EST)

That is truly beautiful, specially when you look at what he removed. Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 21:20, 1 February 2009 (EST)
Certainly a beautiful edit, but really it's just Andy saying "la la la I don't hear you". What an idiot. Agenda over facts tends not to get the right answer. ħumanUser talk:Human 22:43, 1 February 2009 (EST)
I just did a big rant on this a while back. Every time I see quotes like this, I still have to wonder about him in the end... Photovoltaic Array 23:40, 1 February 2009 (EST)
I love this, as I've found Daily Show/Colbert watchers are overwhelmingly college students, not high school, and have well above-average knowledge of political affairs. Publius 01:14, 2 February 2009 (EST)
It's a sad thing when watching a self-proclaimed fake news show gives you a better understanding of politics that the so-called "real" "news". --Gulik 19:33, 2 February 2009 (EST)

Bruce Springsteen[edit]

Has Andy ever listened to Born in the U.S.A.? Its about the difficulties the Vietnam war caused for Americans, even after it ended. Not very patriotic... FernoKlumpMr. Assfly! Don't forget about this petition! 21:24, 1 February 2009 (EST)

Ah well, Hsmom pointed that out on the talk page. FernoKlumpMr. Assfly! Don't forget about this petition! 21:26, 1 February 2009 (EST)
The only thing Andy hears is "USA! USA! USA!". Never mind the rest. Perhaps someone should add it to the Greatest Conservative Songs list? Ace McWickedRevolt 21:27, 1 February 2009 (EST)
I was thinking he was trying to be funny and reference the fact that the president wasn't actually born in the US. Patrickr 21:33, 1 February 2009 (EST)
I dont think Andy is that subtle - at least he isnt usually subtle. Ace McWickedRevolt 21:34, 1 February 2009 (EST)
Nope. Also, a lot of politicians play it as a patriotic piece: even Obama did, once, I think. I got confused.-Diadochus 22:27, 1 February 2009 (EST)
Can I add that BS (da boss) obviously didn't lip-synch in the middle of the sports arena show tonight? Hell, you could hear him gasping for air. At least he didn't play that "How do you ask the last man to die for a mistake" song... ħumanUser talk:Human 22:49, 1 February 2009 (EST)
So was teh Assfly liveblogging the Super Bowl (a fairly exciting game, I must say)? And had to stop mid-game to fucking whine on his blog? And has he fixed the grammar in his borken news post yet? And will he ever SHUT THE FUCK UP about things he knows nothing about? ħumanUser talk:Human 22:55, 1 February 2009 (EST)

Laugh a minute hilarity. Reagan was using Born in the USA as his campaign song until he found out what the song was about and then promptly stopped. Some Reaganphile Andy claims to be. - User \scriptstyle-i\ln(-1) 23:04, 1 February 2009 (EST)

Now Andy is DEMANDING TO KNOW why Springsteen didn't play his "biggest hit." Did he not catch "Born to Run?" TheoryOfPractice 00:14, 2 February 2009 (EST)

I was thinking the exact same thing. You know, Andy, Born to Run was his huge breakout hit which he plays at every concert, this one included. Did he play every hit he wrote? Of course not, you fucking imbecile. Someone should take shotgun to that man's groin. DickTurpis 00:23, 2 February 2009 (EST)
I "retuned in" at the end of the song before BTR, and thought it (BTR) was the closer. I really liked the giant gospel chorus. I guess Andy hates seeing that many black people on stage without price tags? ħumanUser talk:Human 00:27, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Yeah, a lot of people judge songs by the refrain, because that's the hook they hear most often. It's kinda like Neil Diamond's "Coming to America." But I found it funny that Andy starts with mocking the Boss for beign old and out of shape... Hey Andy, at least Bruce understands you can give your nose a break and talk through your mouth. SirChuckBHITWIN FOR PRESIDENT! 00:29, 2 February 2009 (EST)
I'd like to see Andy do a 20 minute show with all that running around, crowd surfing (?), and the chops to get back to the mike and pull the band together, jammin' with Stevie, etc - in ten years. Andy, the Boss is ten years your senior. And, oh, yeah, "successful". ħumanUser talk:Human 00:38, 2 February 2009 (EST)

Y'know, I'd hazard a guess that if Andy had never heard of Bruce Springsteen, or Born in the USA, and someone just showed him the song's lyrics, he'd denounce it as anti-American propaganda. Either that, or he'd complete miss the point and think it was anti-immigration. MDB 10:02, 2 February 2009 (EST)

Apparently Springsteen is also 'performing songs from the 1980s' -err...does Andy know anything about Bruce's back catalog?
  • 10th Avenue Freeze-Out (1975)
  • Born To Run (1975)
  • Working On A Dream (2009)
  • Glory Days (1984)
So one song from the 1980's qualifies as 'performing songs from the 1980s'? Assfly wouldn't know an authentic American songwriter if he found one in his soup. And I agree with Human, if Bruce is supposed to be overweight and over the hill, maybe Assfly would like to try a 3+ hour gig? The Boss is still doing it (I personally saw him less than a year ago) and has done for the best part of 40 years. I'll shut up now.

Ken outdoes himself[edit]

One article (approx 120 words) = one quote(approx 100 words + Ken's intro). has he ever had an original thought? Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 22:12, 1 February 2009 (EST)

Short answer- probably not. Long answer- do the terms "fringe lunatic Fundie" and "original thought" ever go together? ENorman 22:18, 1 February 2009 (EST)

EC What article? The EmperorKneel before Zod! 22:18, 1 February 2009 (EST)

The one linked? (Was it linked at first?) ħumanUser talk:Human 00:07, 2 February 2009 (EST)
No, I forgot to paste it in. Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 00:11, 2 February 2009 (EST)
I like how 90+% of it he already added to the Liberal page. Nice, doesn't only have no original thoughts but what little material he has uses he repeats at every available opportunity to underscore the fact he has little material and no original thoughts. Ed isn't in the running for idiot of the year anymore right?  K e n  D o l l  you are a surefire winner this year. - User \scriptstyle-i\ln(-1) 00:14, 2 February 2009 (EST)
No, ironically,  K e n  D o l l  actually argues against some stupidity there - mostly because he thinks it will hurt his SEO program, but he makes good points. Amazingly, yes. ħumanUser talk:Human 00:29, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Ken's CP paradigm has everything drawing users to his locked articles. If his random gibberish was removed from the front page (evolutionary racism, article of the year, etc.), he'd probably leave in anger. Publius 01:42, 2 February 2009 (EST)
What's funny is watching him express himself "intelligently" on any issue that threaten his treasured SEO project. It really is funny. ħumanUser talk:Human 01:59, 2 February 2009 (EST)
One of Ken's little tricks is to select chunks of his main quote-fest and copy them to other pages with a link from the main article that says see article on "such and such". Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 02:36, 2 February 2009 (EST)

Whoa...[edit]

Andy's really outdoing himself today. I have a mental image of him flinging a turd at his monitor after typing this. CorryIt is a rock, though. Should beat everything. 22:59, 1 February 2009 (EST)

If he hadn't mummy money, he'd be roaming down the road muttering at people and swearing. The man's certifiable. Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 23:16, 1 February 2009 (EST)
Isn't that what he's doing, except he's not homeless? ħumanUser talk:Human 00:08, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Yup! (forgot to say he'd be wearing 0dd shoes, no socks, second hand denims with strategic holes, seven jackets and an ex military topcoat topped off with a balaclava and a trilby.) Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 00:14, 2 February 2009 (EST)

Fiiiiiish! Noooooo![edit]

A "sea kitten".

Kendoll has baleeted cp:Image:Fish.jpg and replaced it with this piece of crap. Come on, Ken! Give me back my Fish! --Marty 00:02, 2 February 2009 (EST)

NOOOOOO. That was my favorite picture on CP! Do we still have the old one?!?!-Diadochus 00:19, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Gah! That fish has massive lips. Oh.my.god. It looks like it's getting ready for a hicky. Fishlips aside, I hope someone can find the old pic deep within their cache, I've been on-the-go lately, so my cache is set to clear everytime I close Firefox (don't want anyone to see all the pr0n sites in my cache if my computer gets swiped, do we now?). -Redbacknot Redneck 00:52, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Fish. I eat fish. ħumanUser talk:Human 02:01, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Is this what you're looking for? ЩєазєюіδWeaselly.jpgMethinks it is a Weasel 05:28, 2 February 2009 (EST) ----->
@Redback, make sure you have a password protected user account and are the only one with admin or superuser status then you wouldn't have to clean your cache so often. you could also install a dead man's switch. To automatically clean up after a certain number of days if you haven't logged on. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 16:34, 2 February 2009 (EST)
@Gengy. Thanks for the advice, indeed I do have a password protected account (ascii chars and all), and I have the only account on the computer. However, that won't stop someone from taking the HDD out and placing it in their own computer, and just because any sensitive info is in a protected folder won't stop it from being accessible. I accidentally discovered once that even such simple programs as Norton Ghost can be used to circumvent any folder protection offered by windows. Windows 7 undoubtedly still has several undiscovered security flaws that could compromise a password-protected account, for instance I seem to recall being able to access the "Administrator" account even if it was password protected in older Windows versions simply by deleting the default screensaver using DOS (thank god the great Atheismo for NTFS).
Thanks very much for your wise suggestions, it's a shame my paranoia knows no limits. Now, if you'll excuse me I'm off to degauss my hard drives, which I shall then dip in sulphuric acid... which I shall then seal in a barrel and hurl into the ocean, much to the disgust of Al Gore. (btw, yay for getting our original fishy back!) -Redbacknot Redneck 08:36, 3 February 2009 (EST)

I learn such interesting things at CP...[edit]

...like this. Apparently Santa Claus is an American thing. And as this article reads, Hawaii is apparently not part of the United States. TheoryOfPractice 00:54, 2 February 2009 (EST)

Actually, the modern image of St. Nick as a pudgy guy in red and white furs is not only originally an American thing, it comes from a Coca-Cola ad campaign. --Gulik 01:28, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Sure Santa is Murkin'. And Saint Nick is Continental, and Father Xmas is Bringlish. Apparently, those names are spelled Kamaunamauna in the communist republic of H'a'w'aii. ħumanUser talk:Human 01:31, 2 February 2009 (EST)
I thought the popular image of Santa came from the poem "Twas the Night Before Christmas"..... SirChuckBHITWIN FOR PRESIDENT! 01:42, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Looks like Snopes disagrees with me. Obviously Snopes is WRONG!!@!!!11! Or maybe I am. (Weirdly, the Coca-Cola website seems to agree with me--partially.)--Gulik 02:01, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Don't the truth take all the fun out of it? (Could that be a new CP slogan?) ħumanUser talk:Human 02:05, 2 February 2009 (EST)
TOP: Shush. :) --Marty 03:02, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Well, it's gone again now. For those who missed the punch line the first time, the lyrics to the Kamaunamaunahemele can be found here. --Marty 12:48, 2 February 2009 (EST)

Karajou edits to Obama[edit]

What the hell is he doing he has destroyed half the lulz. The articles looks like a normal biography now. - User \scriptstyle-i\ln(-1) 02:10, 2 February 2009 (EST)

He's rearranging it a bit. I think he discussed the project (probably) with his friends (there is no cabal). ħumanUser talk:Human 02:17, 2 February 2009 (EST)
It just seems a little bold given how much Andy defended the old one. - User \scriptstyle-i\ln(-1) 02:26, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Very interesting crash page title: http://serv01.m264.sgded.com/suspended.page/?title=Barack_Hussein_Obama&diff=617794&oldid=617668. ħumanUser talk:Human 02:32, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Wow, now that TK has filled the position of resident psychopath, Karajou is actually looking kind of reasonable by comparison. However, Andy might piss himself when he sees that the seekrit muslim bit has moved halfway down the page. Everyone else who tried that got banned. --JeevesMkII 02:40, 2 February 2009 (EST)
I wonder what andy thinks of that massive change. (Actually, the bio is pretty respectable now.) I would be really surprised if he doesn't, at the very least, stick the muslims facts above the TOC. Patrickr 14:43, 2 February 2009 (EST)
This is what Andy thinks of it. Hmm, does Karajou have the balls to stand up for his revisions? --Arcan ¡ollǝɥ 14:48, 2 February 2009 (EST)
P.S. Welcome to teh internets era!!! Neveruse513 14:49, 2 February 2009 (EST)

lol wtf[edit]

Why am I being redirected to http://serv01.m264.sgded.com/? RyanC 02:30, 2 February 2009 (EST)

Basically, Andy shoved the server up his ass for safe-keeping, and the damn (not avowed to date) gerbil ate its RAM. Well, it's a theory, anyway. ħumanUser talk:Human 02:33, 2 February 2009 (EST)
I've no idea, but I am too. More gerbil-related epic fail, no doubt. --JeevesMkII 02:36, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Looks like DNS errors again to me. I have to say this is an especially amusing one too. StarFish 02:41, 2 February 2009 (EST)

Anyone else remember this? Could be the same sort of thing, maybe. --Marty 03:09, 2 February 2009 (EST)

On second thought no, it's probably just a Schlafly screwup. http://www.conservativeencyclopedia.com/ is also redirecting to "serv01.siteground-lds11.info". Both redirectees are related to SiteGround Web Hosting. --Marty 03:14, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Does anyone know what time it flobbed? That's twice recently they've given up on it and gone to bed. Where's the commitment?? I need lulz! StarFish 03:41, 2 February 2009 (EST)
At least a couple hours ago...around 11:00pm where I am. That was the last time I remember being able to access it. Andy, these server errors are getting to be quite the nuisance. How am I supposed to entertain myself without you guys?

"Yossarian" (obviously your parents were atheists to give you such a pagan name so you're probably obese), the statement "there are no atheistic hospitals" is crystal clear in meaning. I reread the beginning of your rant at the top of this section and there is an anti-Christian tone to your postings, so it's obvious to me you're trying to hurt this project. Open your mind and admit that winning in Iraq reduces Evolution Syndrome. Whatever the mainstream media might say, negative reporting about Obama would consist of describing him as a completely inexperienced huckster who can do little more than read from a teleprompter. I can't think of a single hospital built by atheists. Your fight is with logic here, not us.--Aschlafly 00:57, 21 October 2019 (UTC)

Oh yeah... --Purple George!YossieSpring in Fialta 04:10, 2 February 2009 (EST)
I'm getting redirected to http://serv01.m264.sgded.com/suspended.page/. Note the "/suspended.page". What does this mean? I don't know what's on the page, although it's probably a 404 as my ISP redirects me to a rubbishy page as it does with most 404s. Dreaded Walrus 04:48, 2 February 2009 (EST)
If the URL has suspended.page in it, is that a suggestion his site has been suspended by his ISP? If so, why would they have done that? The hitlist? Dreaded Walrus 04:50, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Most usually, non-payment. It's the first working day of the month too, which adds credence to the idea. The gerbil needs to eat, you know. Also, Mr. Walrus, get yourself an ISP that doesn't hijack DNS to show you more ads. That's just shamelessly grasping. --JeevesMkII 05:21, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Yeah, I know. Tiscali is a shit ISP anyway. Throttle my bandwidth pretty much all the time that I would need it (mostly to play games online with mates), get disconnected once every couple of weeks, page hijacking as you say, and just all-round rubbishness (and I'm not the only one who thinks this way). On the plus side, I get a completely new IP address located pretty much anywhere in the UK each time I connect to the internet, which is good for getting past CP blocks, online filehosting limitations and the like. I have been intending to change ISP for a good couple of years now but haven't been able to for kinda personal reasons. Anyway, I'm going to America for six months in ~May, so there's no point switching ISPs just yet. I'll probably get it done when I return later in the year. I'm kinda missing 404 pages. :P Dreaded Walrus 05:43, 2 February 2009 (EST)
I presumed that they had changed servers/hosters in which case the should have paid up front. Unless they had already planned for a change and just not got round to doing the move until forced to by the server disk crash. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 05:49, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Surely rich white guys like that can afford someone who knows stuff about computers and internet hosting? Oh, sorry, they'd have probably gone to college to learn that, ergo, they are too liberal to work with Conservapedia. ArmondikoVd hominem 06:34, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Well, first, we really don't know if he's "rich" - I kinda doubt it. Stipends from Eagle Forum and AAPS only go so far to maintain a middle class household in New Jersey. Anyway, here's my theory: The server was relocated to his house, and plugged into his cable ISP. Maybe he made sure to arrange for a static IP, and perhaps even prepaid/preplanned for appropriate bandwidth. Then the DoS attack hit, and jacked his rates and he now owes Comcast five grand or something. Or, he never made sure to allow for the bandwidth needed and it's borking the site. ħumanUser talk:Human 16:39, 2 February 2009 (EST)

HEY ANDY!! Stop screwing with the server and bring our LOLpedia back! The world is bored and wants to LAFF!!! --147.122.3.215 06:41, 2 February 2009 (EST)

I have some experience with web servers but can't claim to be an expert. Here's my guess though: they moved server a few days ago and it went pretty badly but they more or less got it working evetually. However they didn't move across the DNS correctly so when the old server/services were discontinued the DNS packed up. End of the month. Then again it might just be that Andy tried to fix his server with Mircal Spring Water. Yeah it's probably that. Past experience would dictate that incompetence usually wins out. Oh and whoever posted above - I hope you don't have an active sock on CP. Hide those IPs! StarFish 07:40, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Ironically, we may be the only people in the world who care when CP is kaput for long periods of time. Andy certainly doesn't seem to give a monkeys, though he's happy enough to get back to editing his "I hate liberals" screeds when his minion cpwebmaster does the real work. Did we ever find out who the mysterious cp webmaster actually is, by the way? --JeevesMkII 08:21, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Yes, I'm sure he'll inform us that he is sorry about the crush, but that it didn't matter because most of the real conservapedians were playing checkers with him when it happened. l'arronsicut fur in nocte 08:39, 2 February 2009 (EST)
If they didn't spend so much time prayin' they'd have a lot more time for learnin' and fixin'. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 08:44, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Must....have....lulz... Does anyone have a sock deep enough in the drawer to get away with offering these clowns some technical assistance? Neveruse513 09:25, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Perhaps Trent could store CP on his nice new server. Totnesmartin 09:29, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Thank GAWD, it seems to be back. Neveruse513 09:35, 2 February 2009 (EST)

Undent

Ha! they've been fucking about with the site: robots.txt:
User-agent: *
Disallow: /index.php
Disallow: /skins
Disallow: /Special:Search
Disallow: /Special:Random
Disallow: /MediaWiki:
Disallow: /Template:

(shouldn't play with things you don't understand, Andy) Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 09:48, 2 February 2009 (EST)

For teh technically incompetent? Z3rotalk 09:51, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Hah! I'm technically technically incompetent. I was just referring to 'bots above, & trying to sound as if I knew what I was talking about. Consider my bluff called. Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 10:05, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Premusably they did some other stuff @ the same time & borked the site. Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 10:06, 2 February 2009 (EST)
The current robots.txt site does make sense: crawlers are discouraged to visit all disallowed sites - and their sub-sites. It has - as far as I can see - nothing to do with the problems of the site: Bots can be a nuisance, of course, but bad ones would ignore the robots.txt altogether, and friendly ones shouldn't take the site down. l'arronsicut fur in nocte 10:13, 2 February 2009 (EST)
understand that, but I'll bet they tried some other wizzy stuff at the same time - the robots.txt alteration shows they'd got the screwdriver hammer out & the hood up. Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 10:18, 2 February 2009 (EST)
point Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 10:23, 2 February 2009 (EST)
seems it possibly was CPwebmaster playing with the guts of the thing: see Talk:Main_Page#Recaptcha 24 hours earlier. Wonder what he was "updating" or installing this time. Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 14:56, 2 February 2009 (EST)

Principles of the American Cargo Cult[edit]

I found this through a posting on boingboing. It's a remarkably close description of most of what grasps Andy and his ilk. http://klausler.com/cargo.html -Lardashe

"Changing one's mind means one has wasted the time spent holding the prior opinion.: Well, now we know Andy's secret. --PsyGremlinWhut? 10:31, 2 February 2009 (EST)
That is absolutely GREAT. Just replace CP's commandments with it. job done! Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 10:40, 2 February 2009 (EST)
I've emailed the guy for permission to quote in entirety. (probably won't reach him_ had to do it @ work address & Cray'll have more spam filters than the US gov't) Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 11:24, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Unfortunately it has a much wider application in the US than CP. Herr Schlafly just makes it more obvious. (I've saved a copy as ammunition for my next family visit.) Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 15:17, 2 February 2009 (EST)

I T ' S B A C K ! ![edit]

It's back - awoogar indeed.--Kriss AkabusiAAAAWOOOOGAAAR!!1 10:11, 2 February 2009 (EST)

Hope you enjoyed it while you could. The new server seems less stable than a camel on a unicycle. StarFish 10:13, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Not for long, I'm back to 503s. HWessel 10:13, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Error: 1033 Incorrect information in file: './cpwiki_media/objectcache.frm' (localhost)
Another "disk crash"? -- Nx talk 10:23, 2 February 2009 (EST)
see little boys shouldn't play with MAN'S TOYS. Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 10:27, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Bah, that was short-lived. CP is really showing what a creditable job the RW people did during the server move here - communicative, competent, and everything else that CP is not lately.--Kriss AkabusiAAAAWOOOOGAAAR!!1 10:31, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Could this be the most factual version of CP evar? Neveruse513 10:32, 2 February 2009 (EST)
They're getting better. The server was up for about a minute this time. I'm back to 'The network link was interrupted while negotiating a connection. Please try again.' StarFish 10:34, 2 February 2009 (EST)

Bork. 'Error 503. Peanuts on hard drive' StarFish 10:36, 2 February 2009 (EST)

Holy cow. CP's going up and down like a lady of negotiable affection's panties. --PsyGremlinWhut? 10:37, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Ah how they tease. Another cycle of upness followed 1 min later by downness. HEY ANDY YOU'RE LEANING ON THE ON/OFF SWITCH StarFish 10:45, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Up and down like ... the Vengaboys.--Kriss AkabusiAAAAWOOOOGAAAR!!1 10:54, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Vengaboys? aaaargh. From the edit comment I was hoping for John Lee Hooker. Totnesmartin 10:56, 2 February 2009 (EST)
A million demerits for reminding me of the vengaboys. If only they'd been run over by the vengabus, my brain would have been spared the torment. --JeevesMkII 15:08, 2 February 2009 (EST)
I've got that bloody song stuck in my head now. Time for some Burning Spear... Totnesmartin 15:15, 2 February 2009 (EST)

And they've borked it again, I see. --PsyGremlinWhut? 09:25, 3 February 2009 (EST) It's down again. Proxima Centauri 09:32, 3 February 2009 (EST)

The boss[edit]

wtf? [3]. No ranting? No accusations of terrorism, corruption, flag burning or other muslim activities? Andy! What's wrong??? HWessel 10:12, 2 February 2009 (EST)

Bruce Springsteen is just that amazing. He can get even Andy to ignore his political views. ENorman 11:45, 2 February 2009 (EST)

Whups, I just realized that my WIGO on this ("Bruce? ...") is a duplicate of a WIGO a couple of entries down ("Obama now controls ..."). What should I do about this - should I delete mine? The instructions at the top of the page seem to indicate that deletions shouldn't happen except in emergencies... - Cuckoo 13:25, 2 February 2009 (EST)

Done: just comment <!-- thus --> out. Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 13:30, 2 February 2009 (EST)
As long as you don't add an atheist bus one to WIGO world... Totnesmartin 15:18, 2 February 2009 (EST)
I was wondering if he'd play his commie "last to die for a mistake" song... ħumanUser talk:Human 00:37, 3 February 2009 (EST)

A hidden gem[edit]

This story from the front page is priceless, I can't believe I missed it before. WorldNutDaily reports that gay ninja mercenaries burned down Palin's church. They should get me to write their headlines, I'd do a way better job than them. --JeevesMkII 10:38, 2 February 2009 (EST)

Well, it's well known conservative fact that all gay men are ninja mercenaries, that all ninjas are atheists and that all atheists aspire to burn down churches. His logic regarding why it couldn't have been a local is a bit fuzzy just lame, remind me that if I ever feel like committing a crime it should be against my neighbors, that way I'd be above suspicion. Also, your link text is the perfect headline for that story and I hope it gets brought to their attention, you'd be a shoe-in for the job. -Redbacknot Redneck 10:55, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Please. There are only three things you need to know about ninjas:
  1. Ninjas are mammals.
  2. Ninjas fight all the time.
  3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.
Anything else is irrelevant. Z3rotalk 11:05, 2 February 2009 (EST)
"all gay men are ninja mercenaries"
We are? Dang, I must have missed out on that part of the training. Perhaps they covered that the day I went out to recruit the Assfly's brother John into the Hideous Homosexual Lifestyle. Of course, he wasn't that hard to recruit, if you know what I mean (wink wink nudge nudge say no more). MDB 12:04, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Wow.... Just Wow "Why would a trained professional arsonist pick a church at random and torch it knowing there were people inside?" Trained Professional Arsonist.... Where do you go for Arson training? And is there some sort of certification? Maybe a written test followed by a practical? How does one get into this business and how well does it pay? SirChuckBHITWIN FOR PRESIDENT! 12:08, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Not to defend the crackpot claim that it was some evil plot, but I'm imagine that if you know the proper people in organized crime, it would not be difficult to find someone very skilled at arson. MDB 12:18, 2 February 2009 (EST)
And here i was hoping it was gay pirate ninjas. EternalCritic 13:45, 2 February 2009 (EST)
(EC*lots)"We are? Dang, I must have missed out on that part of the training."
Well it wasn't technically part of the training, but if you mention your leanings, Ninjas'я'Us gives you two free lessons and a complimentary pair of nunchucks. Just remember to bring your own pajamas and a bottle of black dye, balaclavas can be purchased in-store for the modest price of $9.95. Present your QlubQueer card and the next three lessons are half-price.
MOAR: re:The pirate thing. Well... we have been called a certain type of pirate, just not "ninja pirate"... /blush -Redbacknot Redneck 12:21, 2 February 2009 (EST)
I thought that the best ninjas were gals, gay or otherwise. Short dark haired ones for preference. Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 12:27, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Collins explained that while Alaska "is our largest state in land area, it is a small town in everyday life. If a local Alaskan arson/murderer had perpetrated this crime the authorities would have made an arrest already. If a Wasillian had done this everyone would have pointed to the likely suspect on day one." Sure. Because in a small town, everybody knows who the local arson/murderers are. (It's probably from all the arson/murdering they do around town.) --Marty 12:43, 2 February 2009 (EST)
RE:MDB, I'm sure you can find people who have experience in Arson.... But that still would not equal a trained, professional arsonist... and I daresay that the Mob is not shitting themselves over a small church in Alaska..... Nor are a lot of mob men eager to go kill some Christians. SirChuckBHITWIN FOR PRESIDENT! 12:58, 2 February 2009 (EST)
What, you haven't heard? You can get an MA in Arson from the Open University now. Goes well with a BSc in kneecapping and a masters in running numbers. --JeevesMkII 15:05, 2 February 2009 (EST)
BS Jeeves, arson is an ancient craft going back to the mediaeval guilds. It's practice in the UK has declined since they abolished the old apprenticeship system but you can still get a City & Guilds qualification. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 15:20, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Sure. The Arsonists claim they can trace their history back to medieval times, but actually they're a five piece hip hop and MCing crew signed to matador records who formed in 1993. --JeevesMkII 15:47, 2 February 2009 (EST)
[citation needed] --Marty 00:42, 3 February 2009 (EST)

Ken's Castle[edit]

Kensuserpage.png
Kensuserpage2.png
Only yesterday I posted copy of Ken's user page with all its silly pictures. The same page today has a mass of missing images. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 16:29, 2 February 2009 (EST)
I'd love to be able to spend a few minutes in that man's mind. What, other than insaity, could possibly possess someone to fill page after page with absurd quotations, links to videos, and pointless pictures? Publius!
No doubt, your post lead to this improvement - however, there is so much to be erased left l'arronsicut fur in nocte 16:42, 2 February 2009 (EST)
That's fantastic (the first one). If you're reading this, Ken, we want more pictures, quotes & captions, not less. ЩєазєюіδWeaselly.jpgMethinks it is a Weasel 16:44, 2 February 2009 (EST)
I like the fact that his Conservapedia sysop badge is just mixed in two-thirds of the way down. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 16:53, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Judging from the number of times he changes his userpage, you would have to update the image every day anyway to keep it accurate! KlapauciusEsteemed Constructor 16:56, 2 February 2009 (EST)
"What, other than insaity, could possibly possess someone to fill page after page with absurd quotations, links to videos, and pointless pictures?" Well...
Tumbleweed.gif
I think "insanity" pretty much covers it. -Redbacknot Redneck 17:03, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Tell you: he's got a mental age of 10. Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 17:14, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Out of boredom, I did a CAT scan and some phrenological measurements of Ken's head. PubliusTalk 18:28, 2 February 2009 (EST)
...Has anyone else noticed that this part of the page is starting to look at lot like Ken's user page? Iz insanity infekshus? -Redbacknot Redneck 18:35, 2 February 2009 (EST)
There. Now we can't easily be accused of hypocrisy. PubliusTalk 20:20, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Any chance you still got the full-resolution version of the left image? I know it's likely going to be too huge to be of use on the wiki, but maybe .zip it and upload it to some sharing site? I need to shock a few people with the sheer overkill... --Sid 18:37, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Wayback machine any help? ħumanUser talk:Human 21:10, 2 February 2009 (EST)
 K e n  D o l l  has wiped his user page. Picture of its current state. - User \scriptstyle-i\ln(-1) 21:42, 2 February 2009 (EST)
I managed to grab an XML exported version which is down loadable here, it is rather difficult to read but might be useful in case future generations want to see just how childish Ken is (open the file in firefox). Icewedge 01:19, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Wow, Ice, nice to see you and all, but just how unfriendly can one possible make a download? ħumanUser talk:Human 01:48, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Yeah I know.... it was meant to be imported with mediawiki. Icewedge 02:34, 3 February 2009 (EST)
I still have the raw 1867x10715 pixel image of the first one on my harddrive. As a PNG its 8.5 MB. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 02:42, 3 February 2009 (EST)
If you could up it to MegaUpload or whatever other sharing site, that would be awesome. :) --Sid 13:15, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Here. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 13:26, 3 February 2009 (EST)

Connection refused? How dare you, Sir?[edit]

Is this general CP brokenness or have they finally got wise to me? I'm getting the following error from CP now...

Failed to Connect
The connection was refused when attempting to contact www.conservapedia.com.
Though the site seems valid, the browser was unable to establish a connection.
  • Could the site be temporarily unavailable? Try again later.
  • Are you unable to browse other sites? Check the computer's network connection.
  • Is your computer or network protected by a firewall or proxy? Incorrect settings can interfere with Web browsing.

...I'm scared. StarFish 16:41, 2 February 2009 (EST)

CP's connection has been cutting in & out the last few days. Probably just server issues & IT incompetence, although there was a DoS threat posted a few days ago. ЩєазєюіδWeaselly.jpgMethinks it is a Weasel 16:47, 2 February 2009 (EST)
DoS and it's really bad! Good law abiding UK'ers can't do it. Proxima Centauri 10:12, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Try going through an anonymous proxy. Although you may be barred from editing you should still be able to view. I understand that in the MediaWiki software it is possible to prohibit view requests from pecified IPs so if you were a bot they might have some defence. Roll on the day when they start implementing viewing range blocks! Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 16:51, 2 February 2009 (EST)
Working again now so I guess it was just the on-going problems CP are having. I don't know if I'm pleased or upset. StarFish 17:03, 2 February 2009 (EST)c

I've been getting randon 404s,500s, 503s & that nonumber one that StarFish got ever since the server downgrade. Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 17:13, 2 February 2009 (EST)

Did you get the 404 about contacting the administrator at webmaster@cptransitive.com? Neveruse513 17:16, 2 February 2009 (EST)

HEY ANDY how about moving your LOLIpedia back to an actual server? You know, running it off an electric typewriter may be cheap, but it doesn't really work! --— Unsigned, by: 79.50.10.187 / talk / contribs ME 18:31, 2 February 2009 (EST)

Lolipedia? Hey, maybe the FBI got the wrong idea when Andy told them that liberals were interfering with his ability to host CP... --Marty 21:26, 2 February 2009 (EST)

HEY ANDY your CRAPPYpedia is so full of crap it's making even your server throw up! --— Unsigned, by: 192.251.226.205 / talk / contribs ME TOO 18:41, 2 February 2009 (EST)

HEY! A totally new error! Cp tries to open: http://serv01.m264.sgded.com/suspended.page/?title=Special:RecentChanges & gives error message: serv01.m264.sgded.com could not be found. Please check the name and try again.. <sings>Thi i i i ngs can only get better </sings> Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 10:01, 3 February 2009 (EST)

Like cryptic messages in a bottle, we are left to interpret these messages as best we can. I'm getting that "suspended page" one myself. Now that's surely from the ISP? Have they had their account cancelled? Did someone disapprove of being MOAR HITLERED? Did someone with taste and decency have them shut down? Hard to know. I await news. DogP 10:57, 3 February 2009 (EST)

Now there is this: "The account is currently not active.

The web hosting service for this webpage is provided by SiteGround.com.

If you are the website owner and you would like to re-activate the hosting account, please contact the SiteGround.com technical support team." Pay teh bills! Aboriginal Noise What the hell is that thing? 11:01, 3 February 2009 (EST)

Baffled of Blackpool here - Like speakerface I'm not able to connect but from the way that others are editing WIGO:Talk it would appear that they can. I'm at work and have no control over my ISP. Can some guru enlighten? Thanks. Silver Sloth 11:38, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Silver: none of us were able to connect to CP: we were just waffling on the strength of a copy/paste I'd done. signed Worried of Worksop. Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 12:25, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Andy must have updated his credit card info - they're baaaaaack! DogP 11:49, 3 February 2009 (EST)

I iz lingwistiks skollar[edit]

And confuses "language" with "script" and decides that cuneiform couldn't have conveyed " Holy Spirit": "Recall that the language of Mesopotamia was cuneiform, based on wedge-like characters. Can you imagine such primitive writing conveying the concept of "Holy Spirit" or "sin" or "redemption" or "faith"? It was an inadequate language, far too primitive for the needs of the powerful concepts of Christianity. ". Everything he says reinforces the impression that he's batshit crazy. Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 09:23, 3 February 2009 (EST)

Every so often you see something where the ignorance piled on the stupidity with lashings of hot arrogance really takes your breath away. Nice find Toast. Shocking! StarFish 09:29, 3 February 2009 (EST)
As much as I like Andy (!), this sounds like those 19th century racial theorists who used to say things like "the misshapen Negro skull renders his brain wholly unsuitable for grasping the finer concepts of civilised Man".--Kriss AkabusiAAAAWOOOOGAAAR!!1 09:45, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Sadly, some of those kinds of "theorists" are still around. ЩєазєюіδWeaselly.jpgMethinks it is a Weasel 09:48, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Sometimes his glaring stupidity and ignorance just makes me feel sad. Next thing is English is the only language able to convey the true concepts of Xianity. --PsyGremlinWhut? 09:54, 3 February 2009 (EST)
How can anyone express such a great concept using only 0s and 1s? Oh, never mind... --l'arronsicut fur in nocte 09:59, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Any chance we can smack him with an exact copy of the original Epic of Gilgamesh, all eleven tablets? Cuneiform became a very complex language thanks to storytelling. --Irrational Atheist 12:08, 3 February 2009 (EST)

You liberals are clueless Next thing is English is the only language able to convey the true concepts of Xianity. Not just English but edited, standard American English in 12 point Times New Roman font. Most conservatives can easily translate thoughts clumsily expressed in lesser forms to the proper form. Almost no liberal can. Certainly none that I know. Exasperate me!Sheesh!Not the most impressive contributor here 10:41, 3 February 2009 (EST)

Wigo worthy IMO. StarFish 10:42, 3 February 2009 (EST)
It's been on CP for aaages. Love LArron's comment above. Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 10:44, 3 February 2009 (EST)
(EC)Can't the guy sit back and appreciate the leap it took to get to a written language at all? Inventing the concept, that's genius. And I think the Mesopotamians were quite capable of conveying concepts of deities, thank you very much. CorryIt is a rock, though. Should beat everything. 10:48, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Ugh and his mate Ughina would have been quite capable of doing so, as they divvied up the woolly mammoth steaks, without writing about it. :) Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 11:01, 3 February 2009 (EST)
This seems highly ironic to me, since presumably in the creationist world view cuneiform is the writing style of God, being the original before he fucked around with languages at the tower of Babel incident. --JeevesMkII 11:05, 3 February 2009 (EST)

All a bit achademic at the moment as CP seems to have filled its pants again. StarFish 11:09, 3 February 2009 (EST)

Glad I copy/pasted it, instead of just linking. :) Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 11:19, 3 February 2009 (EST)
You are all suffering from liberal misconceptions:
  1. There is no history before written history. Therefore, the idea of writing was there from the beginning, probably given by God
  2. If it was invented, it was invented by old people - with a probability of 98% (remember all the guys in the bible? Hundreds and hundreds of years!) So, it can't be that great, as truly great inventions are made by teenagers...
l'arronsicut fur in nocte 11:15, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Careful, or that will end up in the next world history lesson. Think of the children! Z3rotalk 11:33, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Invented by old people! Bullshit! Learn your history! Everyone knows that written language, as well as every other great achievement, was invented by teenagers. To suggest otherwise is Liberal Denial. DickTurpis 11:45, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Horse before cart or "The new language developed by the Phoenicians to facilitate their trading was based on an alphabet of 22 letters." cart before horse? (just a little below original quote) Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 12:37, 3 February 2009 (EST)

Sitegrounds error again[edit]

Is Conservapedia dead?-Diadochus 11:22, 3 February 2009 (EST)

In need of resuscitation at least see "Connection refused? How dare you, Sir?" above. Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 11:29, 3 February 2009 (EST)

Andy's history course discovers merman![edit]

I've just noticed an interesting fact. According to Andy's world history course, the world was created ~4000BC and the flood happened in ~3300BC. What's interesting is that the fount of all knowledge on which this most excellent history is based tells us that Adam lived for 930 years in all, meaning he must have somehow survived the flood sans ark. Come on, Andy. I know it would be too much to ask your braindead lectures to agree with secular history, but at least go for some internal consistency, you goat damned moron. You really have to wonder about the sanity of the people who can say this sort of thing without even adding hedging qualifiers like "it may be..." or "it is possible that..." Flatly stating as fact that the flood happened at such and such a date, and suggesting that there are actual historians agree isn't so much dishonest as downright insane. --JeevesMkII 11:33, 3 February 2009 (EST)

Holy crap, I never noticed that before. Way to go Andy, epic fail at math. Z3rotalk 11:35, 3 February 2009 (EST)
"Internal consistency" and "Conservapedia" may not be written in the same sentence unless the word "no" is included. DogP 11:48, 3 February 2009 (EST)
So, I went and added it up from Genesis. The Bible is very explicit, and we can date the flood to close on 1900 years after creation. This means for Andy to make his history internally consistent, he has to compress all of recorded history in to the last 4000 years. Good luck with that one, Andy. I look forward to seeing your corrections. --JeevesMkII 12:24, 3 February 2009 (EST)
I just love the feeling I get from knowing how many words a document contains. If you guys think you're so smart, write a longer world history lecture. Neveruse513 12:27, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Love the illustration on that page. WTF? Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 12:30, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Schlafly's arguments depend on him neglecting most of Egypt's old kingdom....-Diadochus 16:23, 3 February 2009 (EST)

Argh, you can't go so much as a paragraph without encountering stupidity. Moses was the scribe for the first five books of the Bible? Impressive, considering they describe amongst other things his death and funeral. I guess writing about yourself in the third person is perhaps a symptom of raging egomania too.... --JeevesMkII 12:41, 3 February 2009 (EST)

Jeeves: has anyone claimed that Schlafley's sane? No? Then stop acting so surprised when he demonstrates his insanity. (just catalogue it) Toast s.png (Toast) and marmalade 12:46, 3 February 2009 (EST)
People are entitled to the odd insane opinion. My own is that it'd be fun if criminals had access to the plans to make cheap fire and forget missiles to shoot down police surveillance drones. I have a partially working prototype stashed in my little workshop upstairs, the guidance software needs a lot of work though. I kind of think it'd be fun if the country turned in to an escalating paramilitary warzone. No. It's not that he has insane opinions, it's the magnitude and consistency of the insanity that surprises me. He's certainly the least sane person I know that manages to function somewhat in normal society. --JeevesMkII 12:51, 3 February 2009 (EST)
I really hope that when he's done he puts this on a POD site. It looks like his plan is to do something like that - the original "lectures" were obviously just his "notes", with lots of sentence fragments, and things that said "talk about xxx". Now he is "improoving" them into the polished masterpiece he knows he is capable of, and keeping track of word counts makes sense for when he brings it to Houghton Mifflin the Pensacola Press for the first print run of 50,000,000. ħumanUser talk:Human 16:17, 3 February 2009 (EST)
This seems weird for even Andy. Any popular chronology places the flood well into the 24th century BCE, not the 34th. I'm going to have to go with typo here. Neveruse513 16:32, 3 February 2009 (EST)

TK's latest range block[edit]

What if Richard Branson wants to edit conservapedia? Z3rotalk 12:08, 3 February 2009 (EST)

Richard Branson prolly owns like 65,536 IPs anyway...so If you wanted to block him, I guess this would be a good start? Neveruse513 12:35, 3 February 2009 (EST)

Andy hates Obama #37[edit]

Fafuxsake Andy. Born_Outside_the_U.S.A.! Does your bitterness know no bounds? Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science. 13:29, 3 February 2009 (EST)

Ouch. Watching middle age conservatives try to be hip and funny is just painful. So painful. Please, someone, heed Andy's call to improve it and delete the entire thing. I can just see Andy at a karaoke bar, singing this, and li'l Phyllis wishing someone would turn a largely defensive weapon of gun into an offensive one and putting her out of her misery before her father causes her to die of embarrassment. DickTurpis 13:34, 3 February 2009 (EST)
This makes me really really think his Super Bowl Born in the USA comment was referencing Obama's citizenship status. Damn his song is awesome, though. Parodists couldn't pray to be that funny. Patrickr 13:39, 3 February 2009 (EST)
So astoundingly pathetic. 'Conservapedia, the 100% factual encyclopedia you can trust! Now let's all write hate songs.' It's also a crap song, and it has a grammar failure. When he says 'improve', do you think that means 'delete'? And also, I am actually becoming more concerned about Andy's mental health; I truly think he's playing bridge without a full deck, as it were. I don't mean 'lol, Andy is a one cray-zeeeee retard!' or 'lol Andy sure is being batshit crazy today!'. I seriously mean he-needs-help kind of crazy, with no lol's or rofl's or exclamation marks. EddyP 13:41, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Well. it is technically an "essay." That said, it's hilarious in the "not-laughing-with-you-but-laughing-at-you" kinda way. --Arcan ¡ollǝɥ 13:44, 3 February 2009 (EST)
I agree, and I've been saying that for a while. I'm tempted to think of 2001 in which HAL is ordered to hold 2 contradictory thoughts, causing him to go more of less insane (simplification). I think the same may be happening to Andy. There is something not right in his head. On another note, we should revive the Conservapedia Musical project and show Andy how song parodies are done. DickTurpis 13:46, 3 February 2009 (EST)

I'd like to take this moment to call on all parodists and socks to expand on Andy's idea and write an album or two's worth of 80's songs with new lyrics making fun of liberals over at CP. Or alternately just insert as many links to the song as possible into other articles. DickTurpis 13:50, 3 February 2009 (EST)

No. Fucking. Way. Andy's account must have been hacked now. That is not only non-encyclopedic, it's painfully bad and also out-of-character. When he sobers up, he will definitely memory-hole that one. Etc 13:55, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Re:sobering up: I think that could be a possibility: this incident reminds me of occasions in the past when he has used multiple exclamation/question marks, called people 'dude' and been ridiculously sarcastic to innocent questions. I don't think it's completely out of character. KlapauciusEsteemed Constructor 14:37, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Hacked? That's actually a possibility. Either way, we should just copy this...ah...'song' and paste it into as many articles as we can on CP. It's hard not to believe that everyone else on the website is embarrassed for him right now. EddyP 14:01, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Stand back in awe everyone. We are witnessing one of the greatest moments of stupidosity ever embarked upon by That Gigantic Arse. This song thing (following on from the weird whining about Springsteen at the Superbowl?) is just brilliant. DogP 14:04, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Anyone wanna bet on who steps up in support first? I bet LatinScholar addresses the first negative comments, which will come from Karajou. Neveruse513 14:05, 3 February 2009 (EST)
It reminds me of this wonderful old gem. I am extremely tempted to at least add this "essay" to a "See also" section in the Bruce Springsteen article. But, I heed this warning to you all: TK is monitoring CP like a hawk, searching for any edits relating to Bruce Springsteen right now. Beware! Etc 14:09, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Actually, it could be a parodist trap. He's written something so stupid that he knows only parodists will defend it, so anyone who does will receive a swift banhammer for being a parodist. It's Andy though, so it's probably not a trap (not clever enough); just him writing from a heart full of false convictions and broken dreams. EddyP 14:12, 3 February 2009 (EST)
You have to wonder what the other sysops are thinking right now. Do they look at something like this and just hang their heads like embarrassed parents? "Oh Andy, what did you do now? How am I going to defend you on this one?" Is there panic about the troll bait? Are they just resigned to their fate as guards of the asylum? Do they share our bemusement or are they genuinely amused by this? --Arcan ¡ollǝɥ 14:25, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Perhaps he didn't think of it as a parodist trap; after all, the whole Bugler story worked out because he doesn't believe anyone who defends him is a parodist. But I assure you that the slightly more sane and evil sysops will use it as a parodist trap. Etc 14:24, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Can we start a project to ghost write Andy's autobiography please? I've got a title already, "I'm not good enough, I'm pretty bloody stupid and doggone it, people hate me!" --JeevesMkII 14:27, 3 February 2009 (EST)

The first demur is in. DickTurpis 14:50, 3 February 2009 (EST)

Too bad Andy can't bite the hand that feeds him! We should be getting a 'lighten up, kid. CP is only serious when we say so.' talk from someone real soon. UPDATE: big surprise. Neveruse513 14:56, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Makes me long for the intellectualism of Weird Al, Cledus T Judd and Ray Stevens. Czolgolz 15:02, 3 February 2009 (EST)

This has to be one of my all-time favourite CP moments. I have this image of Andy sitting in front of his screen singing under his breath

I can't even pronounce "Pakistan"... And I also mispronounce the "Taliban"... yeah that fits nicely... now what rhymes with taliban? Ban, Dan, Ran, Man... MAN!!! That's it!!! But that ain't no problem, man!! I am brilliant! Whoa there Andy, you haven't mentioned liberals yet. What do I know about liberals... Evil... deceitful... fan of Obama... FAN!!! Pakistan, Taliban, Man, Fan!!! ... Because every liberal is my fan. Oh man this is too easy!! I'm gonna play a bit of air guitar and go through that whole verse ONE TWO THREE FOUR I can't even pronounce "Pakistan"...

Matt 16:49, 3 February 2009 (EST)

There's too much what-the-fuckery to condense into a single WIGO by now--but no doubt, Andrew Layton Schlafly has been drinkin'. TheoryOfPractice 17:58, 3 February 2009 (EST)

Wow, just... wow. Reading the talk page, it seems clear that Obama's election has caused something to snap inside Andy. He may end up in an institution after Obama's re-election.-- Antifly Now with 50% less retirement! 18:35, 3 February 2009 (EST)

Very amusing indeed. I must, however, take issue with "your song doesn't scan right" - songs don't have to scan like poetry, the singer can just deliver the lyrics so they fit the melody. I had no trouble humming along with most of Andy's hate anthem. My theory: I think he wants to be the author of the next great political anthem/parody song, ala "Bomb bomb bomb, bomb Iran". Oops. ħumanUser talk:Human 19:01, 3 February 2009 (EST)

And the talk page is raw indeed. Someone mentions Andy not having a day job, and he is so keen to reply, he forgets to memory hole it. Nice work, however got him to do that. And "Go back to watching Comedy Central, TBaker, if you even get cable television where you are" is a new low in discourse. As is "Stop resisting the truth and it won't sting so much". ħumanUser talk:Human 19:04, 3 February 2009 (EST)

Andy has tacitly approved the "not really black" and "if you're queer" stuff. Wonkette, anybody? CorryIt is a rock, though. Should beat everything. 19:22, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Good idea - and Tony Sidaways might be interested, too, given his recent "brush" with CP... ħumanUser talk:Human 19:28, 3 February 2009 (EST)

ZOMG somone used the Quote Generator! It's in the revision history! The EmperorKneel before Zod! 21:19, 3 February 2009 (EST)

HOW? I mean, surely the quote generator doesn't exist on CP. THIS IS TOO FUNNY! --"ConservapediaUndergroundThermistorRusty-spotted catspeed! 21:22, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Here is the link. You use these things caller ctrl+c and ctrl+v. - User \scriptstyle-i\ln(-1) 22:49, 3 February 2009 (EST)

Brilliant Matt 06:21, 4 February 2009 (EST)