Conservapedia talk:What is going on at CP?/Archive263

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Most linked-to pages question[edit]

Anybody else notice something weird around #11? Also, #42 is noteworthy for good wiki maintenance. A redlinked page with 918 incoming links. B♭maj7 (talk) I feel worse than the Cordova Jewish community after what happened to them in 1391 16:29, 5 October 2011 (UTC)

That's weird about #11. Any ideas what's going on there? DickTurpis (talk) 16:37, 5 October 2011 (UTC)
A question for Nx, I reckon. B♭maj7 (talk) I feel worse than the Cordova Jewish community after what happened to them in 1391 16:50, 5 October 2011 (UTC)
#42 - so much for Karajou's birdfest which he has gone cold on. Actually, all but one of the top 50 Wanted Pages are Karajou's redlinking. The odd one out is DouglasA's deletion of cp:Skepdic which is referenced by their atheism navbox. This a prime example of everything that is so pathetic about CP. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science.Moderator 17:12, 5 October 2011 (UTC)
#11 is probably this bug, i.e. anchor only links like #something. -- Nx / talk 17:56, 5 October 2011 (UTC)

Yet another reason why CP can't succeed[edit]

As if we needed any more. Your first edit was to get into a debate on a talk page, the classic tactict of a parodistimg Now that's how you welcome new editors. άλφαΤαλκ 17:48, 5 October 2011 (UTC)

I admit it was a dick thing to do, but it isn't any less true that parodists tend to get involved in things they really should NOT be getting into if they were real new users. . --Mikalosa (talk) 17:52, 5 October 2011 (UTC)
There, i very pointlessly fixed it, while allowing myself to leave--Mikalosa (talk) 18:16, 5 October 2011 (UTC)
Of course the first classic tactic of a parodist once you have your rights is to block all and sundry on the slightest pretext. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science.Moderator 18:17, 5 October 2011 (UTC)

Hot parodist on parodist action[edit]

I see Desmond Morris has returned and is bent on reclaiming his spot as chief toady. This involves selling his fellow parodist SeanS down the river. Isn't CP exciting? --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 21:34, 5 October 2011 (UTC)

Let's see:
  • Sucking hard, and swallowing the resulting koolaid: check!
  • Turning on others at the drop of a hat: check!
  • Ignoring sysop abuses so far: check!
  • Contributing next to nothing to the wiki: check!
DMorris, another wall in their bunker of ignorance. AndyToad.gifNorsemanCyser Melomel 21:57, 5 October 2011 (UTC)
Given I blocked myself after unblocking a few people kara/ed blocked, I don't expect much of a competition with whoever he is.--Mikalosa (talk) 21:58, 5 October 2011 (UTC)
Ah, so you were SeanS. Being a total cock may be a good way to move up the ranks at CP, but at the end of the day you're still a total cock. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 22:02, 5 October 2011 (UTC)
Yep. Twas a fun run but I expected to be banned in april, or when I called the site on its flaws last month. When neither happened I had to find another way to engineer getting off the active user roster, (besides my long running plan to be banned without actually breaking a rule. ). It's been... a good what, 4 hours since I did that b\and I'm still able to unban myself if I wish--Mikalosa (talk) 22:04, 5 October 2011 (UTC)
Sockpuppeting is against the rules. --Opcn (talk) 23:29, 5 October 2011 (UTC)
Fun thing, im not a sock, nor is he ASAIK, so what are you getting at? --Mikalosa (talk) 23:50, 5 October 2011 (UTC)
SeanS is the asshole that infini-blocked me over there. --Inquisitor (talk) 00:19, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
Who were you, and I apologize, if you were not a rule breaker obviously.,--Mikalosa (talk) 00:46, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
SteveK. Karajerk banned some poor random user for being a sock of SteveK, and then SeanS comes derpin' along and bans me for having a sock. Doesn't matter much now. --Inquisitor (talk) 02:08, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
My claim that you were a sock is based on your tag which you put on your userpage here which states that you have 5 blocks at conservapedia. No single account gets 5 blocks any more, the most minor infractions get 5 year blocks. --Opcn (talk) 02:00, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
First account woulda been in '08. I don't remember the username anymore, but I get the feeling it was one of them banned for a "wrong" username. I had, 2 more along those lines and one was banned a edit i made to the Earthy talk page. I've never been IP banned from what I can tell. Oh and I still have block rights. I get the feeling im just not noticeable enough >.>--Mikalosa (talk) 04:14, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

Andy has the attention span of a gnat, part 1,432,806[edit]

Schlaflyverse: "Government school prevents students from raising their hands to ask a question.img"
The next sentence (second sentence in the article): Students are instructed to give a thumbs up when they want to ask a question. Maybe I'm missing something and handraising is, in and of itself, a conservative principle? Godspeed (talk) 20:17, 5 October 2011 (UTC)

Saw this yesterday: it is fucking stupid. I haven't read anything pro it & most think it's daft. Scream!! (talk) 20:24, 5 October 2011 (UTC)
Yeah, I agree with Andy that it sounds fairly silly and is either a solution to a non-existing problem or a stupid solution. Of course, Andy then goes on to show why CP is a joke by putting the emphasis on "GOVERNMENT school", as if this had been some political decision from higher up and not just a single school's administrators feeling the need to justify their existence. Because this NEVER could have happened in a private school or homeschool class! Nope! Those only make wise choices! --Sid (talk) 20:33, 5 October 2011 (UTC)
Hmm, it sounded to me like Andy was saying the schools were trying to prevent the students from asking questions at all. Maybe I'm the only one, though. Godspeed (talk) 20:36, 5 October 2011 (UTC)
Seems like an idea worth trying. Can't imagine what Andy thinks is so horrible. Occasionaluse (talk) 20:43, 5 October 2011 (UTC)
Government schools should be run like CP. when children raise their hands and don't follow it with an explanation about how right the teacher is they should have their tongues cut out and their arms cut off. --Opcn (talk) 20:50, 5 October 2011 (UTC)

The only thing i could think was that Aschlafly thought that the Government school was making an over-the-top political correctness link between raising hands and the fascist salute? B♭maj7 (talk) I feel worse than the Cordova Jewish community after what happened to them in 1391 21:09, 5 October 2011 (UTC)

Of course, in Andy's classroom, the first student to emit a primitive grunt is given the credit for knowing the answer and is given a gold star. Saves so much time compared to the liberal practice of having to know the answer. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 22:12, 5 October 2011 (UTC)
Wait, do all Brit student still have to do that? When I think back of my last years in school, we generally didn't raise our hands — we just spoke. Of course the official rule is that you have to raise your hand and wait till your asked to speak, but then again, almost half of those teacher were ex-hippies ("68ers"). We only raised our hands when there was a discussion going on (yeah! we have those in our classrooms!) and several people wanted to speak but that was only so the teacher could make himself a mental note. Also when the teacher just was lecturing something and seemingly not going to be pleased if we just said something in the middle - and with lecture I mean something between a speech and a rant.
A good reason for this new rule you can test yourself: try to hold your hand raised for 5, then 10 minutes and tell me how it feels. --ʤɱ constructivist 22:52, 5 October 2011 (UTC)
Hey, there are some sadhus who hold a hand over their heads for years at a time. Maybe Andy thinks raising your hand instils devotion to the gods. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 00:14, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
If you're having to hold your hand up for a solid 5-10 minutes just to ask a question, then the teacher/lecturer/janitor/lightswitch is actively ignoring you and it doesn't matter what your "I wish to speak" gesture is. X Stickman (talk) 00:31, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
Not when you're in a discussion with 10 participants. --ʤɱ netlabelist 10:44, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

Ken talks about himself[edit]

Not only does ken have a outgoing personality...img but he also has a Professor friend, who thinks he is a master diplomat fit for admin. work:) --Mikalosa (talk) 00:48, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

I am guessing Ken was taking part in either a drug trial or a sleeping studyimg. Any takers? Aceace 01:03, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
Ken doesn't sleep. SoCal 212 01:06, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
Ohh! i just got a great idea for one of Ken's Essays: Atheism and Insomnia. LordSlug You want me to what's that? 01:12, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
"I can be very diplomatic" I'm just going to let that sink in...--Thunderstruck (talk) 01:16, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
"They even wanted to feed me"img Now that is really odd...Aceace 01:46, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
Ken's a genetic experiment. it all makes sense LordSlug You want me to what's that? 01:54, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
A lot of times "academic establishments" have food tables for events. "Feel free to help yourself to the vegetable dip." Looks like Ken made a friend. Has anyone speculated that he works in some kind of tech support field. Sometimes you can work from home and often you can have irregular hours which would explain his all night editing. Maybe he had to go to the education establishment for some on site support? --Marlow (talk) 01:59, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
I find it extraordinarily creepy that a grown man uses so many smiley faces in his posts. My 10 year old sugar-and-spice girly-girl cousin doesn't use as many smileys in stuff she writes online (she also makes less mistakes and takes less revisions to post something coherent). Does he... I mean, is that what he thinks being nice is? Or sarcastic? Or... smug? Or what? Because it's not normal at all, especially for someone who should be aware of netiquette. X Stickman (talk) 02:05, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
Smug, definitely smug. Aceace 02:12, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

quick. Somebody screencap that on andys talk page. I am on cell and it will not work joyaBAD KITTY! 02:11, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

You know who told Ken he has an outgoing personality? His mom, that's who. --Inquisitor (talk) 02:31, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

Alright, folks, I'm calling it.[edit]

Caveat: I am as guilty as any of us. That said, it's time to stop picking on the mentally ill. It's time to stop poking the mentally ill with a stick in order to make him dance for us. It's been four years, and we should be feeling pretty shitty about ourselves. He's obviously not doing well, he's obviously not balanced, he obviously needs help. We've said it for years, but we keep pointing and laughing and making him do more and more crazy shit. It's time to leave him alone, and hope he gets the help he needs once he realizes that nobody is paying any attention to him anymore. B♭maj7 (talk) I feel worse than the Cordova Jewish community after what happened to them in 1391 02:55, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

I've been starting to feel the same way. I just didn't know how it'd go over. SoCal 212 03:09, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
(ec)We've had this discussion again and again. In the end we aren't going to stop making fun of Ken, he is not so mentally ill that his dickishness is excusable. If he were mentally ill (unable to realize that his arguments are non sequiters, and completely obsessed) but not a dick about it we would leave him alone. --Opcn (talk) 03:12, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
These aren't the actions of a sane personimg but the doesn't mean they are indefensible. And they says more about Andy than Ken. Aceace 03:15, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
Who is the greater villain, the child who pokes the caged animal with a stick, or the zookeeper who put the animal in the cage? I agree with Ace, all of this User:Conservative nonsense is more Andy's fault than Ken's. He's the one who has the beast on display. And BTW, nobody is getting Ken any additional help. It should be obvious from the amount of time he spends editing (instead of sleeping, working, making love, going out with friends...etc) he already is some sort of shut-in that has someone looking after him. And since rattling away on a keyboard 24 hrs a day keeps him docile and out of his caregiver's hair... they damn sure aren't going to shake his monkey tree. "Hee hee you shoulda seen how mad I made them atheists today Momma!" "That's nice Kenny... now which flavor Hot Pockets do you want for lunch today? "Ham and cheese! And bring 'em to my room. I have lots of writing to do. Lots of writing..." --Inquisitor (talk) 03:36, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
The issue, as it see it here, is no one at CP cares about each other outside of there little corners of the internet. Look at TK for example he disappeared for months and no one at CP cared to see what happened to him or even seemed to notice he was gone. In a larger environment such as RW or WP that might happen quite easily but CP was/is so small that if a major force like TK went missing alarms bells would ring. The same applies here - Andy is steadfastly ignoring the cluster fuck going on on his own wiki through the actions of an increasingly deranged individual. Aceace 03:45, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
I think I'm drifting towards the "let him wallow" camp myself. I think Kenny's the ultimate Poe: a faceless and persistent source of batshit that can only be the product of either profound stupidity or extremely dedicated parody, nothing in between. I honestly can't tell you which it is for certain, though I will say his whole "Christianity is the fire burning down the house" angle really made me lean towards parodist...all that said, it doesn't matter. He's either a dumbass or a fake, and we should just stop feeding his ego regardless of which. SaladinMostly Harmless. 04:15, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
Don't forget it was a house possibly filled with dangerous chemicals and the fireman was probably an atheist. Aceace 04:17, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
And there's the genius (or stupidity) of the act! He'll say something that seems to obviously be a parody, then he'll rationalize it with some dumbass claim that brings us back to thinking he's just stupid...if he's a parodist, then I'll be the first to admit he's bloody brilliant. Otherwise, holy shit what a fucking moron... SaladinMostly Harmless. 04:28, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

Yep, it's whole Travesty, Tragedy, or Troll trilemma. Ken is sane and he honestly believes he is laying out the most effective arguments for his case... that would be a Travesty. Ken is insane and can't be made to understand how ridiculous his arguments are... that would be a Tragedy. Or finally, he's simply a Troll. Since I refuse to believe that any sane person could or would troll with his feverish intensity for years on end... I've chosen to rule out the Troll option. I'm caught in between the first two though... --Inquisitor (talk) 04:39, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

Ha, well put. I'll admit the all-night editing sprees alone make the troll angle a little suspect...maybe it's just my innate desire to keep believing that nobody can actually be as stupid as Ken appears to be that makes me even entertain the idea anymore...SaladinMostly Harmless. 04:44, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
For me the worst part is how reasonable he can be when it comes to different issues. I just don't understand it. I consider myself a reasonable moderate conservative (I am knee deep in shit on my facebook page because of my dislike of the Occupy Wallstreet rigamarole) and I think that the Ken who isn't stuck on idiot mode would be someone I could be friends with. I wish he would take his meds. --Opcn (talk) 08:02, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
Logged Edits by User:Conservative at Conservapedia
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
block delete move patrol (i.e., comment) protect upload
  • His sleeping pattern is as irregularly as TK's was
  • If he is visiting a college, he's one of these annoying brats who keep typing during lectures...
  • Andy should look into this, but he won't.

larronsicut fur in nocte 08:51, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

BTW, these concerns were raised at Conservapedia, in a nowadays deleted section of Talk:Causes of atheismimg

Really, Ken?

Don't you have ANYTHING to say about my challenge? There's no need to run away; if you don't want to debate a simple "No thank you, I'd rather not" will be quite sufficient. I mean, it's not like I'm some sort of power-crazed vindictive bigot or anything. voiceoftruth2006 --LeonardS 03:16, 27 September 2011 (EDT)

Have you read Conservapedia obsessive compulsive disorder yet? There is hope and healing available. Conservative 03:27, 27 September 2011 (EDT)
Interesting article. But it is not necessary to be obsessed with you, dear User:Conservative, to spot some inconsistencies between some of your statements and your actions: one can look into the logs of Conservapedia (your log-entries can be found here). E.g., you stated on 31 July 2011 (and repeatedly after this date):
I am not going to be very active at Conservapedia for the near term.
On the other hand, you performed more than 5,200 logged actions after that date - as many as the next three busiest sysops (Aschlafly, Karajou and Jpatt) together. Generally your behavior doesn't change, whether you announce to have a full schedule in the following 90 days or not.
You achieve this remarkable output by contributing to Conservapedia without much pause: over the last three days I couldn't find a period where you have been away from the computer form more than 6 1/2 h: you should try to avoid to have this lack of sleep to have an influence on the quality of your contributions.
But this is not to uncommon for you: you can go for a nearly a whole day making pauses of half an hour, or for a couple of days without resting for six hours at a time. The only other sysop at Conservapedia who would do the same was TK. Now, it's clear why he showed this pattern - his illness didn't allow him to sleep for more than a precious two, three hours.
Your fellow sysops failed to spot TK's problems. I'm afraid they keep up this habit of ignoring disturbing signs in other editors...
RonLar 09:10, 27 September 2011 (EDT)
Ronlar, I don't think it's very appropriate for you to be bringing up medical conditions in a public place. --DrDean 09:16, 27 September 2011 (EDT)
Sorry, I didn't want to bring up medical conditions, I just made some - as I hope helpful - observations, without offering a diagnosis. BTW: is cp:Essay: Conservapedia obsessive compulsive disorder a medical condition?
RonLar 09:25, 27 September 2011 (EDT)
Definitely not in the DSM --DrDean 09:50, 27 September 2011 (EDT)
RonLar, setting aside whether your observations are correct about my sleep patterns and your apparent obsessiveness about my editing and sleep patterns, I will point out to you that some people don't need a lot of sleep and a cursory knowledge of history is all that is needed to know this. But I will make the allowance that perhaps you are an atheist that went to public schools and didn't learn much about history because you didn't apply yourself. With that being said, here is a list of famous people in history who didn't need a lot of sleep: Famous people who didn't need a lot of sleep. So even if you did obsessively log my time at Conservapedia (see: Conservapedia obsessive compulsive disorder), you certainly have to take that into account. Plus, to my knowledge, there is no rule at Conservapedia indicating that people cannot share an account. Just out of curiosity why do you think there are some atheists who are very obsessed with myself and Conservapedia? I can assure you the obsession is not one that is mutually shared as the lives of obscure atheist vandal community members are not exactly riveting. Conservative 00:02, 29 September 2011 (EDT)
you maybe an atheist who want to public school and didn't learn much about history because you didn't apply yourself. I have had enough of your insults Conservative. Just cease it and be respectful of others as commanded: And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all ... (2 Timothy 2:24). MaxFletcher 00:15, 29 September 2011 (EDT)

User:Conservative, thanks for reacting to my comment. Let's have a look a it - I hope just answering to you won't get me blocked:

  • to my knowledge, there is no rule at Conservapedia indicating that people cannot share an account No, there isn't, and there have been examples of this practice: cp:User:History and cp:User:CPanel spring to mind. Of course, you could be many - and this would explain you turning down even an audio debate. But you look more honorable seen as a single person:
    • in all your challenges you use the 1st person singular: my articles, my work, etc. It would be deceitful to create this impression when asking Dawkins, Jillette (and others) to a debate, who must assume that you are a single person. And you won't be that deceptive, I hope?
    • it would be lovely to read your manual of style which would be necessary to keep up your profile. This could be an excerpt:
  1. Don't use the preview button!
  2. phrase of the month: with regards to obese bestiality Use it often!
  3. Really, don't use the preview button!

  • I will point out to you that some people don't need a lot of sleep An interesting list of famous people you are giving there. But keep in mind that sleeping is not the only thing which prevents you from editing Conservapedia. Even living today, those celebrities would have difficulties to keep up a 18-hours-a-day pattern of editing, as they would have jobs (you certainly have to take that into account) - Frankly, could Thomas Edison have invented anything if he would have been detracted by the Internet for most of his waking time?
  • So even if you did obsessively log my time at Conservapedia […] That's the fun of the WikiMedia software - I don't have to log your time, it's done automatically for me...

RonLar 02:22, 29 September 2011 (EDT)

larronsicut fur in nocte 09:13, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

This cracked me up so much I have to comment. I work in mental health, and I honestly believe Ken is in a long term inpatients facility, or at least some form of supervised accommodation. It would fit with the possibility he has some form of psychiatric diagnosis (possibly Asperger's spectrum), and would explain why he is able to edit for such long periods of time (he stays in his room all day/night) and why he doesn't appear to hold down a job or have any commitments.
People who are in such facilities often attend hospitals or universities, whether it be for mental health assessments, volunteer work or developing work skills. It's most likely that the people there would be praising of his work, not necessarily because they believed it but because it's the polite thing to do.
If this is the truth, I'd recommend criticising him less. People with diagnoses such as Asperger's do have an excuse for being dickish, and criticising them is just going to make them worse (especially if they believe they are on some sort of mission against people like us). It can often take years of training and experience before someone can communicate with someone like that, even TK the most manipulative troll I've seen, considered him too zany to touch. Just let him go on his way writing articles, it doesn't affect us in any way, the only person who will suffer is Andy.
Just a thought... RyanC (talk) 10:20, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
This makes a lot of sense to me. My latest escapade at CP suggests to me that Conservative has genuine problems in two-way communication with other people. As human beings, we should have sympathy for him. The fact that he's using CP as a playground is Andy's problem, not ours, and we should leave him alone - i.e. can we have a moratorium on winding him up, either on RW or as parodists on CP. We should be aiming our fire at genuinely malicious people who want to destroy our grandchildren's planet. The Real James Brown (talk) 12:04, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
I doubt he's institutionalized based on a few facts. First, he is frequently up all night. He's been adding identical nonsense to everything he can think of for the last 13 hours with only A 1.5 and 2.5 hour break. That's 8 hours of finger painting with shit overnight. Inpatient care of any sort does not permit this kind of behavior. Second, inpatients are closely supervised down to monitoring something they spend so much time at. He would not be permitted to obsess over content like this to this degree. He also would not be permitted to engage in unlawful conduct I will not specify that caused concerned parties to confirm personal information in case the need arose to take swift action. He at least maintains his own residence. At most you can speculate he receives some kind of outpatient care but I don't believe even that's the case; It looks far more like at least 7 years of consistently erratic behavior has not only continued unabated but gotten significanty worse in the last year or so. That's not remotely indicative that anyone, whether it be his family, or doctors if they exist, ever addressing his condition. That's ultimately one of the most tragic things about him. He's either like Dennis Markuze with the only constant figure in his life thinking everything is ok despite glaring evidence to the contrary or he's completely alone. Either way, from the limited experience people like Andy and his thugs have of him, one would have expected quick remedial action at least on CP and by email instead of quiet and infrequent befuddlement, or worse, flat out taking advantage. Thats but one reason I shake my head when I see any of them talking about regulating others' conduct when their own is simply shameful. User:Conservative is falling apart at the seams. Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svg 12:49, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
There are many different levels of inpatient care. The wards which operate like that (high levels of supervision, structured activities etc) are typically short term facilities for exacerbations of illnesses (eg a schizophrenic forgetting to take their meds). What I'm thinking is more like a supervised group home - where patients are provided with a bed, food, social work and access to healthcare, but they aren't strictly monitored and are allowed to perform their own activities. These are where a lot of chronically mentally ill patients end up where their disorder is not causing immediate harm, but still prevents them from getting a job and functioning "normally" within society.
Just because someone's behaviour is erratic doesn't mean it isn't being treated. Things like Asperger's, personality disorders, intellectual disabilities etc cannot be solved by simply giving someone a pill. It takes years of therapy to see a difference, and in many cases it's more teaching someone how to best function with their illness rather than actually treating it. And of course you actually have to have the patient on board in order to do that. You cannot force someone to stop obsessing over something, on a legal level you cannot interfere unless there is an immediate and serious risk of harm to themselves or another, and on a psychological level it would likely have the opposite effect (turning them against you). It's would be entirely possible for Ken to see a psychiatrist ever single day and still be the way he is. After all, is it really causing him any harm? I'd argue it beneficial, it gives him a purpose in life, and keeps him busy when he'd otherwise just be sitting around getting angry at the world for not accepting him (and worst case scenario, turn out like this guy...
RyanC (talk) 13:42, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
Wow. I'd never considered that this behavior could be him somewhere on the "better day" end of the spectrum vs. what his behavior would be like if he was actually untreated. Who really knows. When I ask my psychiatrist dad about stuff like this he'll only talk abstractly about how certain behavior may correspond to any number of conditions but he's always clear that only an actual consultation with the patient can give enough information to correlate this behavior with that behavior with that MRI image or thyroid stimulating hormone level, etc. etc. etc. and come up with a meaningful diagnosis, which even then is subject to refinement or even being completely abandoned as caregivers learn more. Conversations like this feel like douchey wankery the the minute I go back and look so I feel like an ignoramus for getting involved in these discussions except to the extent they present a nearly unique opportunity to express concern for this person's wellbeing. As you taught me to my surprise, this may actually be him being well cared for. In any event, while I'm inclined to believe he's a nasty jerk in his heart and that his true nature comes out when he gets on a tear like this, it makes me sad that I can't imagine anyone possibly enjoying being him for a single moment. I've gotta admit I wish him the best even if it never looks like it. Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svg 16:31, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
While I can't speak for his past, I assure you that Ken does not live in an institution of any sort. He is compulsive, and oddly immune to considering if his behavior is inappropriate. I wouldn't be surprised if he does land somewhere on the spectrum of Aspergers, especially since I'm sure one of my brothers does, and I see certain parallels in their behavior (except that my brother is more firmly on the side of not crusading against those he disagrees with). Ken is childish, he loves attention, and I don't think he feels hurt by any of this speculation. In fact, it makes him feel sort of superior. In the interest of helping Ken with his obvious problem, the best thing we can do is not reinforce it. (Which might be difficult, since he also derives reinforcement from a certain search engine starting with 'G') -Lardashe

Don't WIGO[edit]

Back in the TK days, a lot of people stopped WIGOing TK on the grounds that he wasn't for real, he was doing what he was doing largely to get attention, and it was the same old thing every time. I think we should take a similar approach to Conservative. The bestiality thing was worth a WIGO, mainly because Andy has been so resolute in ignoring them, but we don't need to go on about it. And most of his run-of-the-mill jabbering doesn't merit a mention, let alone a WIGO.

All the best WIGOs are about Andy, for my money.-- Kriss AkabusiAAAWOOOGAAAR!!1 09:24, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

The reason a lot of people stopped WIGOing TK was because the TK wigos were getting negative votes - they stopped being amusing/worthwhile and people got sick of them. The WIGO system is a self-correcting system. At the moment, Ken WIGOs still get voted up. I'm sure you're not suggesting a ban on Ken WIGOs, but it kinda seemed like it, so I thought I'd point this out. Let the system speak. ONE / TALK 10:01, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
I think people would do well to read the commented out comments before WIGOing. Can we make them bigger, or more capped? Burndall (talk) 11:56, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
You are absolutely right, ONE. I've been voting the Conservative WIGOs down for a while myself, and if others share the concerns above they should do the same. We'll see, I suppose.--

Kriss AkabusiAAAWOOOGAAAR!!1 12:56, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

Most Ken WIGOs haven't been funny in a long time, because he's doing the atheism/homosexuality and... stuff to get attention. What's amusing about his "A professor told me that I could be a university administrator" bragfest is that he doesn't recognize it was almost certainly a backhanded compliment. Godspeed (talk) 15:18, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
And as someone pointed out on cp, not me by the way, cp doesn't believe in professor values and so anything they say is automatically suspect. Oldusgitus (talk) 15:23, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

Andy's debate, Oct 5.[edit]

Seems like a pretty boring subject, but I still would've listened had I known. Ilya Shapiro, Cato Institute v. Andrew Schlafly, Eagle Forum (emphasis on my lol, too embarrassed to mention CP?) AndyToad.gifNorsemanCyser Melomel 11:18, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

I don't think that it's embarrassment, it's probably that Mommy's organisation is more prestigious and more appropriate for the topic. After all it's about that sales of videogames to minors thing which Andy keeps harping on about and is right up Eagle Forum's street. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science.Moderator 12:57, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
Yeah, Andy is involved because he wrote a fantasmorgasmicalicious Amicus brief for Eagle Forum on wingnut welfare, as per every Amicus Brief Andy has ever written for a higher court it was either ignored or used as an example of a bad argument to illustrate why his conclusion is wrong. --Opcn (talk) 23:06, 6 October 2011 (UTC)


0071116001-473859030305-474837img--Mikalosa (talk) 12:29, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

It's just Ken being Ken. --Sid (talk) 12:37, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
Oh dear. You've discovered Ken's secret reply to the voices in his head. Now he must hunt you down and kill you, to keep his secret safe! Actually, if you browse around, there's plenty of such obscure pages. Just another sign of how... special Ken is. Remember, this is a man who uses ASoK to store all his internet bookmarks, instead of going "save bookmark as..." --PsyGremlin말하십시오 12:52, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
I just started going through cyphers in my head thinking "maybe some kind of polybius based on character frequency or an intermediate bifid" and then I realized who I was dealing with. Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svg 13:00, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
Absolutely pathetic and exactly what Psy said - secret messages to the voices in his head. Do you remember when he was playing chess with himself? Still, any attention is good attention right Conservative? I don't know what happened in his childhood but it must have been bad, bad, bad. StarFish (talk) 13:31, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
Probably the same thing that happend to Andy.img There is no other explanation anymore than being dropped on the head several times by a drunk nanny. --ʤɱ federalist 15:58, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
I jhad hoped you would mention the time andy posted that weird reply to somebody-- (talk) 16:49, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
It's not TVTropes but I'll just leave this here for your entertainment pleasure. 19:24, 6 October 2011 (UTC) C®ackeЯ
I was going to say "It's like the diary of a crazy person" but then I realised it literally is the diary of a crazy person. Also the D-Day for evolution on the internet was first quarter 2009, guys, so... y'know. X Stickman (talk) 20:12, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

Talk about missing the point[edit]

Ken's latest obsession seems to be that Conservative Texas has less reported cases of bestiality than "Lieberal" Washington and Oregon. Well, I think I might just have found out the reason for that, and Ken seems to have missed it. The reason that Conservative Texas has so few reported cases of bestiality is that in Conservative Texas, bestiality ISN'T AGAINST THE LAW. --Longbow (talk) 13:29, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

Well, that explains Rick Perry. MDB (talk) 15:01, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
It's not against the law because all the good conservative texans already know not to fuck animals, so the law is unnecessary. Anyway, if it was made illegal, then liberals would flock to texas specifically to break the law because that's what they do. X Stickman (talk) 16:26, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

You keep using that word...[edit]

Kendoll: I have my reasons for being a dick but, to show how diplomatic I can be, I'm going to be even more of a dick from now onimg. Do you suppose Kendoll doesn't actually understand what "diplomatic" means? --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 21:22, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

I'm going to guess that in Ken's mind the archetypal diplomat is John Bolton. (talk) 21:43, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

This is what you choose to edit, Andy?[edit]

Andy seems just fine with page after page of bestiality being added to his "family friendly" blog, but when Karajou wrote "The despicable speech of a hate-filled liberal" apparently that's just too much, and needs to be edited and oversightedimg. What's the thought process behind his weird editorial decisions? --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 21:37, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

Andy finally does something![edit]

a user's talk page is not a place for others to carry on discussions.img LEADERSHIP! Aceace 21:54, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

Good one Andy. Keep on ruining your blog, it's a joy to watch. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 21:56, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
Leadership indeed: Max: "Andy, help!" - Andy: "..." - Ken: "TROLOLOLOLOL! U MAD? LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEE!" - Andy: "Whelp, this discussion isn't directed at me anymore, so that gives me a good excuse to remove it!" --Sid (talk) 21:59, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
And oh look, a few more problems are suddenly goingimg away! --Sid (talk) 22:02, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
And an epic WIGO shall be born of this turmoil (I hope). AndyToad.gifNorsemanCyser Melomel 23:45, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

IP blockified![edit]

Noticed over the past few weeks, I couldn't view CP sporadically for several hours on end, and just now it happened again. Using a proxy worked like a charm, each time. Weirdly enough, every time it happened, it was when a senior admin got into an embarrassing spat with yet another pesky thing called reality and fact. I'm just wondering if it's someone flipping a switch at CP, and if so, how much of the world are they trying to stop from viewing their dirty laundry? AndyToad.gifNorsemanCyser Melomel 00:00, 7 October 2011 (UTC)

I know it's been mentioned before, but that's the problem I've been having. I haven't been able to access CP really at all in the past few months for more than a minute or two a day. So far, there hasn't been a single day where I've been able to access it for very long (I only check every few days or so, though, but still). Maybe they broke something important on the server? άλφαΤαλκ 00:24, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
Out of interest, what browser do you use? I think Chrome may have an issue with holding connections open even when the server won't respond, and then never letting you load that website again for the rest of the browsing session since you've already got more than X connections to that server open. If you don't use Chrome ignore this, but if you do then if it happens try hitting the site with a different browser. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 00:25, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
I primarily use Firefox, but I've also tried in Chromium, IE7+ and Opera. Elinks doesn't work either, nor does pinging. There was a thread somewhere a while back about this, but I don't remember what the conclusion was. άλφαΤαλκ 00:41, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
Rob was complaining about a similar issue, but he blamed it on Kendoll's l33t haxx. So all that establishes is that Rob is paranoid. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 01:38, 7 October 2011 (UTC)

In which Andy presents a story in an unflattering light, but really it's not that bad.[edit]

I was going to blast Andyimg for mistaking state congressmen (who in California can only represent a district that they live in) for US representatives. However I was smart enough to google the bastards in the story before I went after Andy, and discovered that they are in fact US representatives. Initially I had thought that Jerrymandering was the problem, but after reading the story it would seem that the new district is the only one that has the constituency that they both depend on so neither one has the opportunity to simply run in the next district over. This is a redistricting story in which exactly what was supposed to happen happened, nice. I will mention also that I don't trust political divisions which give politicians super comfortable positions. Except for Ron Paul, Lovelution people lovelution... --Opcn (talk) 00:50, 7 October 2011 (UTC)

CP uses the corpse of a celebrity as a political tool yet again...[edit]

At first I thought they might actually be tasteful about it, but sure enough there's a politicized angle to the announcement in the form of touting Jobs as an "Adoption success story" which of course a really passive aggressive way of pushing the pro-life angle...they seriously can't not politicize a tragedy, can they? SaladinMostly Harmless. 04:24, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

The norway shooter, the giffords shooter... EVERY tragedy is political. --Mikalosa (talk) 04:27, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
I think the passive aggressive angle here is almost worse (almost) since the MPR post almost reads like it was written by a decent human being until you realize "What a nice entr-Oh there it is, he implied that liberals want to suck every unborn fetus out of its uterus with a bloody Dyson". SaladinMostly Harmless. 04:31, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
Good thing Steve was an "adoption success story," otherwise they'd be all over the fact that he was a liberal Buddhist vegetarian. --Roofus (talk) 04:36, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
Pedantic moment: strictly speaking, he was a piscetarian. He ate fish, but not red meat or poultry. MDB (talk) 13:17, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
One of the worst moments was when Andy put out there, with zero evidence, that Gary Coleman likely died a drunk because of "Hollywood values" and that if the media had publicized this baseless conjecture perhaps Ted Koppel's son would still be alive (no, not making that up; see for yourself). Worst part was Coleman was on kidney dialysis and likely died from a fall caused by a seizure. --Night Jaguar (talk) 05:26, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
Given that Steve Jobs was very pro-adoption (though I don't know if any of his kids were adopted) I think that this is fine. Yes it could be a slanted strike against abortion, but if it's a cause that the corpse supported in life I'm fine with them supporting it in CP death, even if there are CP connotations that the corpse woudn't have been cool with. Just relax a little. --Opcn (talk) 06:57, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
I never new that Jobs' biological father was a Syrian. OMG, just like Obama he was a Muslim! Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science.Moderator 08:31, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

Also noted that CP "Godspeeded" Steve, which was nice. Unfortunately they also Godsped his family who AFAIK aren't dead yet, which was less nice. (Crookedmouth long time lurker)

I wonder if Andy is a closest Apple fanboi. (It's probably not terribly unfair to say Apple products have a certain popularity on the left, but they've got their right-wing fans, too. Rush Limbaugh is a huge Apple fan.) MDB (talk) 15:12, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
I thought he was more a linux fan because of the whole best of public business. I should think he ignores the commie getting stuff for free side though. AMassiveGay (talk) 17:46, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
There's also Eric S. Raymond for Andy to admire on the Linux side Nil Einne (talk) 18:31, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
Linux would force Andy to know how to do things on a computer. Aple is perfect for Andy. --Opcn (talk) 23:08, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
An Etch A Sketch is perfect for Andy. He can then just shake it to make all the nasty go away. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science.Moderator 09:11, 7 October 2011 (UTC)

Ok, let's talk ketchup, Schlafly[edit]

Now Sir Ignorant is claiming that France is banning ketchup to curb obesityimg.

Ketchup is comprised of 5 main ingredients:

  • Crushed tomatoes (healthy)
  • tomato paste (healthy)
  • vinegar (healthy, lowers blood pressure)
  • salt (in moderation)
  • spices (such as a cinnamon stick etc)

Ketchup also has lycopene, a powerful antioxidant that is higher in concentration in ketchup than fresh tomatoes, because it is simmered and reduced. So in the end, it is actually healthy for you.

Sorry, the stupidity on that site is incredible. It wouldn't bother me so much if they weren't actually trying to be serious. (talk) 16:23, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

Sugar, often in the form of HFCS. You forgot that. It's #3 on my bottle. B♭maj7 (talk) I feel worse than the Cordova Jewish community after what happened to them in 1391 16:27, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
You know what they say about HFCS. Occasionaluse (talk) 16:52, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
I knew I forgot one! Ya that too. But even sugar is not terribly bad for you, in moderation. To say that sugar in ketchup causes obesity is like saying people die of cancer for having 1 pack of cigarettes in their lifetime. (talk) 16:29, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
Cigarettes are bad for you? I smoke 2 packs a DAY and I'm still alive. No way would I eat ketchup though, I might bloat up. --Longbow (talk) 16:45, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
Hahaha! "...try to preserve what is left of its culture." He really is completely clueless about anything that isn't in his direct little sphere of experience, isn't he? Ajkgordon (talk) 16:47, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
This really is strange. They're still serving ketchup with french fries. I guess I can understand the cultural thing...sort of. Saying it's to reduce obesity is patently absurd. Occasionaluse (talk) 16:58, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
From what I read, the aim is to encourage children to taste the actual food rather than go through life thinking that everything tastes of sugary, vinegary tomatoes. Obesity wasn't mentioned at all, except by the voices in Andy's head. As of 2003 the obesity rate in France was the seventh lowest in the OECD, at 9.4% (against 30.6% in the USA.) --Longbow (talk) 17:02, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
It's also interesting to note that of the ten LEAST obese OECD countries, six - Japan, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, the Netherlands and France - are on Ken's list of usual atheistic suspects. The two fattest - the USA and Mexico - are both highly religious. --Longbow (talk) 17:07, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
In the US or perhaps most of (North?) America, probably not in France. See wikipedia:High-fructose corn syrup. They tend to care more about wikipedia:Sugar beet then wikipedia:maize in the EU and this is reflects in the subsidies etc. Nil Einne (talk) 18:13, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
HFCS is pretty much unknown in Europe; beet sugar is the standard natural sweetener. That's why Coke made in Europe - and, weirdly, in Afghanistan - tastes better than Coke made in the USA.--Longbow (talk) 18:21, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

I'm not sure of the relevence of 'Atheist' in 'Atheist France'. Is there something bout ketchup in the most rational book in the world? AMassiveGay (talk) 17:55, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

It appears the original Telegraph article doesn't cite obesity as a reason at all.[1] However the website that cites the original article, which Andy in turn cites, does make that claim.[2] It would appear the CBCNews article placed in an erroneous claim of obesity as one of the reasons purely out of thin air; that is some pretty shoddy reporting.--BMcP - Just an astronomy guy 18:47, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
I note both articles fail the mention the ban/limiting also includes mayonnaise [3]. This dumb source goes as far as to suggest the opposite [4]. Nil Einne (talk) 19:06, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
Bottled ketchup is revolting: like some kind of sweet spread for kiddies sarnies. Use HP sauce if you must buy bottled stuff! Scream!! (talk) 19:37, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
I think that the obesity thing is not that the ketchup makes you fat but it makes palatable the other stuff which makes you fat. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science.Moderator 19:48, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

Condiments 12:15 Yea, and God moved among the people, bringing ketchup. And the people did rejoice. And God said "From this paste shall you know me, and from this paste shall you grow in size." And the people did grow, and God saw that it was good. And then he struck them down, as they had laid the paste upon a cracker. Jimaginator (talk) 19:58, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

(EC) Ok, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and congratulate Andy on actually reading what's in his source and reporting it accurately. On the other hand, what a dumb fucking source! And what the hell is up with that Telegraph blog? No link to anything, just one guy spouting off about a new law without any real journalism to back it up. I get the feeling he just heard something about this at a cocktail party, called up the French official and tried to wing it with his shitty French skills. Junggai (talk) 20:02, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

@Jimaginator: Reminds me of Desserts 5:44

And the Levites brought to feast the jaffa cake, whereupon the Cannites saw the work of Baal within this cake, and the Lord rained hellfire down upon the Levites, for the jaffa cake is neither a cake nor a biscuit, but is an abomintion AMassiveGay (talk) 20:09, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

BLASPHEMER! Did you not know that David smote Goliath with a stale Jaffa cake! Away to the pit of unmemorable biscuits with you! Darkmind1970 (talk) 08:32, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
<pedant> A jaffa cake is not a biscuit </pedant>. It goes hard when stale and hence is a cake. Oldusgitus (talk) 10:09, 7 October 2011 (UTC)

From Ignoring to Deleting: A Journey[edit]

Andy seems to have changed his policy of ignoring inconvenient comments on his talk page. Now he seems to be "trimming" them, like concerns about editors leaving due to the bestiality articleimg. Or comments about his deletion of discussions on his talk page rather than archiving themimg. Or thisimg. --Night Jaguar (talk) 23:01, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

See the section above this for other examples. B♭maj7 (talk) I feel worse than the Cordova Jewish community after what happened to them in 1391 23:11, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
I can't decide if this direct ignoring is more or less cowardly than just pretending it doesn't exist.--ADtalkModerator 23:18, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
Moreimg "trimming"img. It must be difficult keeping the real world from coming in every moment of your life. CP was suppose to help with that. --Night Jaguar (talk) 23:34, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
If Max Fletcher has any sense of dignity left at all, he will leave CP. (I'm assuming that Max is an actual editor who supports the idea of a conservative encyclopedia.) Phiwum (talk) 00:23, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
Max Fletcher and KhalidM only got a two day block, so they are not sent to the gallows (yet). Still to be blocked for bringing up legitimate concerns and actually caring for the site, that's a sign to get out.--BMcP - Just an astronomy guy 00:52, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
I didn't even know Max got a block. He should leave just because it's clear that Andy doesn't give a shit about his editors. Sysops can do no wrong. There's simply no reason in the world that Max should continue to demean himself by participating in that site. (To a somewhat lesser extent, the same could be said for SharonW.) Phiwum (talk) 01:20, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
According to the Refugees at Ameriwiki, he's already on AW. Who he is there is apparently a giant secret.--Mikalosa (talk) 02:27, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
Looking at the WIGO, it seems that Khalid got blocked for showing caring concern for Kenny-boy's medical condition, something which the supposedly Christian people who run CP would do well to emulate (the concern, not the condition for god's sake...) The Real James Brown (talk) 11:50, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
Its bad because both Max and Khalid wrote to Andy with legitimate concerns because they honestly appear to want the site to mean something positive, and Andy gives each the e-equivalent of being slapped in the face and told to "Shut the fuck up, bitch!" Why would they want to stay after that humiliation?--BMcP - Just an astronomy guy 20:33, 7 October 2011 (UTC)

and now a blocking spree[edit]

khalid...max...mikecoyle..why not quietly desysop and bock ken and start the cleanup? He could easily just act like it never happened joyaBAD KITTY! 23:15, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

Last in, first out. B♭maj7 (talk) Apple acknowledged that 137 workers at a Chinese factory near the city of Suzhou had been seriously injured by a toxic chemical used in making the slick green screens of the iPhone 23:17, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
Because Kendoll's about all he has left. Karajou and JPratt are putting in fewer and fewer appearances, and Terry only turns up to spam. Ed might poke his head in once in a while to be a cockmuncher, but other than that it's only Andy and Kendoll. Andy himself barely does anything either, so Kendoll is the only person making CP look active. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 00:29, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
Didn't Khalid say that he was leaving? They can't miss you unless you are gone... --Opcn (talk) 00:36, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
I think Khalid's moved into the "I don't give a crap anymore" zone. And Andy should ask himself why Ken is the only one around on a regular basis anymore. No, the answer isn't as simple as "Ken is to blame", but that is at least part of it. Then again, fixing CP pretty much requires a time machine at this point, so this is sort of a moot point, really. --Sid (talk) 00:41, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
I know Scott Adams is a creatard but perhaps even he reads cp. Oldusgitus (talk) 11:54, 7 October 2011 (UTC)

My worst nightmare[edit]

Moved to Saloon Bar. Ajkgordon (talk) 13:54, 7 October 2011 (UTC)

Funniest edit today[edit]

Funniest edit today.img Imagine a world where Conservapedia actually had wikiprojects, instead of long-abandoned memorials to the eagerness and optimism of contributors who were eventually forced out or left in disgust.-- Kriss AkabusiAAAWOOOGAAAR!!1 14:36, 7 October 2011 (UTC)

Now there's a new conspiracy theory[edit]

Andy and Kendoll are in fact one and the sameimg, a regular Juris Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hide From Debates. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 19:36, 7 October 2011 (UTC)

One way to partially confirm this would be to put the entries thru one of those writing analysis thingys. There must be something like that on the interstrings by now. Not conclusive, but when I saw it on TV years ago, they were talking about confidence levels. Jimaginator (talk) 20:41, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
I think I once suggested that. Vulpius (talk) 20:53, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
Just for clarification, I don't remotely believe it's true. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 23:09, 7 October 2011 (UTC)

In which Ken shows anew that he is the greatest idiot to have ever walked this Earth[edit]

CP boycott?[edit]

CP has been slow lately, maybe we should boycott until they improve. If we could just get all the Wandals and socks and RW parodists to stop (you too Douglas Adams and Camel Toe) and just let them simmer in their own juices for a week I'll bet it would have an impact... --Opcn (talk) 10:07, 7 October 2011 (UTC)

-29Boycott CP
ONE / TALK 10:51, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
Fuck voting, I'd rather comment. I whole heartily agree that for the being CP has stagnated. The only shits and giggles we get is from watching the dying gasp, Andy's fade into obscurity and KenCP being born. Perhaps you could make some weird TV sitcom entitled Andy&Ken. A Harvard law alumni shacks up with a weird shut-in and hilarity ensues. But Perfect Strangers this is not. Yeah, time we put this fucker to pasture. Aceace 10:58, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
Your sitcom would also entail Ken never meeting Andy in person but only communicating in silly accents from his room or perhaps always wearing some sort of fancy dress "disguise". But I agree that it's time to consign this foetid fiasco back to the pit of ordure from whence it came, or something. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science.Moderator 11:32, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
The obvious title is The God Couple. "Tonight on The God Couple, hilarity ensues as Andy goes home to visit the family for the Feast of Saint Raymond of Peñafort, and Ken uses the opportunity to write a new article about Atheism and Vorarephilia. Special guest stars: Ed Asner as Phyllis Schlafly, Ru Paul as John Schlafly." MDB (talk) 12:52, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
Yeah, I know... CP as a sitcom has been done. But it's gone from being an ensemble cast to a buddy show. MDB (talk) 12:55, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
Funny you should mention the CP sitcom. Just this week I was starting to revive the basic concept and putting some ideas on paper for a pilot. The homeschool class as the focus, not the wiki. DickTurpis (talk) 13:41, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
I'd say yes to a boycott, but not yet, as the Max & Khalid v. Conservative isn't quite over. I don't think we've seen the end of Andy's epic douchebaggery. AndyToad.gifNorsemanCyser Melomel 17:08, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
Could we get a groundswell of support for a partial boycott? Just have everyone shut off their socks for a week? That's what I meant more than don't view CP. --Opcn (talk) 21:48, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
Boy, I'll second that. Socks, "parodists" and other trolls on CP are a pain in the ass. Let's let CP speak for its own damned self and mock what transpires without pocking and prodding. Phiwum (talk) 21:54, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
Yes, that sounds like a good idea. It might take away Karajou's sole reason for living, of course; what's he going to do if he doesn't have socks of LeonardS and Human to block? --Longbow (talk) 23:34, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
Does anyone know who steers the parodist sysops? I think It would be good if ShannonW and Max Fletcher and Douglas A and CamelT all took an unannounced break.
Who is down for an editing boycott? :
18Boycott editing CP
--Opcn (talk) 04:58, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
I have it on good authority that the Cabal are discussing what to do with the parodist sysops at this very moment. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science.Moderator 09:01, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
Indeed. In fact, as soon as Ken has enough free time to give us his answer, we'll be ready to roll. --PsyGremlinRunāt! 09:16, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
CP is an irrelevant pile of whackiness that's only merit is the entertaining opportunity it provides to experience the mindsets of a handful of sycophantic wingnuts and their congential failure of a leader. By its very nature it will attract parodists and piss-takers like shit attracts flies. There is nothing to boycot!!! Auld Nick (talk) 09:20, 8 October 2011 (UTC)

More andy PIDOMA[edit]

Apparently, on the basis of no evidence at all, andy has now decreed that the vegetarian, buddhist, supporter of PETA Steve Jobs grew more conservativeimg as he got older. Oldusgitus (talk) 14:43, 7 October 2011 (UTC)

I heard he had a deathbed conversion to Windows. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 14:49, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
Andy's as bad as the Mormons when it comes to grabbing dead people to be part of your little cult. Still, good to see he's staying as classy as ever. Andy's reaction to somebody dying - if they're liberal or Democrat, say something nasty; if everybody else is saying nice things about them, claim them for your own. --PsyGremlinSprich! 14:55, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
It's funny when you think about it because Jobs made Apple the epitome of hipness and cool design; whereas, thanks to Andy, CP is...... not. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science.Moderator 15:09, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
This being the same Steve Jobs who described his LSD experiences as "one of the two or three most important things I have done in my life" and to whom Albert Hofmann sent a letter. Btw, Albert lived to 102... who says drugs are bad for you? Then again, excessive use of LSD would certainly explain a lot of Andy's utterances. --PsyGremlinKhuluma! 08:26, 8 October 2011 (UTC)

Just another day...[edit]

Recent changes - Conservapedia 1317999570207.png

in which Ken clogs up RC with bestiality articles (I see "Homosexuality and bestiality" has finally made its debut - dance for us, little man) and Andy makes a solitary post to MPR. He must be so proud... --PsyGremlinSiarad! 15:04, 7 October 2011 (UTC)

And more trimmingimg of Ken from Andy's talk page. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science.Moderator 15:13, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
To be fair, it was a vandal who just signed up that did the "trimming". Andy reverted it and of course ignored answering the section he basically reverted. For some reason, I had a good chuckle at the new accounts "trimming" talkpages. Like a cheap meme. lol AndyToad.gifNorsemanCyser Melomel 17:03, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
Oops, my bad. That'll teacjh me to dwink at lurch time. Could hav worn it waz Assifly. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science.Moderator 19:31, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
And Ken continues to reach out and touch things. NBCimg and liberal biasimg get the bestiality touch. I can't wait for Obama and bestiality.] By the way - can anybody name one TV show that featured bestiality? --PsyGremlinSnakk! 10:44, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
In The Simpsons, Troy McClure may like to "sleep with the fishes".--Xyr (talk) 18:23, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
A Simpsons Halloween special had a Dr. Moreau parody with human/animal hybrids, and I believe Homer boned Marge who was some sort of half feline, if that counts. DickTurpis (talk) 19:18, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
Also, if he's just looking at NBC, they're probably including shows like Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, which is all about sexually based crime (and yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if somehow bestiality worked its way into an episode or two in the past decade). So, yeah, if rape is sex out of wedlock, then it deals with a lot more of that than Detective Stabler's sex life with his wife. It's not exactly portrayed in a positive light though, which is what they're overlooking. DickTurpis (talk) 19:47, 8 October 2011 (UTC)

"Block the Bridge"[edit]

Any RWers thinking of hitting Westminster Bridge with the UKUncut people on Sunday? DalekEXTERMINATE 22:47, 7 October 2011 (UTC)

<----- Saloon bar is thataway. WèàšèìòìďWeaselly.jpgMethinks it is a Weasel 00:42, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
I would totally be there, except 1) I live several thousand miles away and 2) I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. But I miss London, Westminster, and all the surrounding areas so much that I'd jump on any possible excuse to go there. Damn. Man, I need to get away. DickTurpis (talk) 00:42, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
Is that the new anti-circumcision group I keep hearing about? B♭maj7 (talk) Apple acknowledged that 137 workers at a Chinese factory near the city of Suzhou had been seriously injured by a toxic chemical used in making the slick green screens of the iPhone 01:49, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
By chance I happen to be in London this weekend! Not yet sure if I can make the event as I'm meeting a friend and don't know what time. ONE / TALK 09:13, 8 October 2011 (UTC)

French beasts[edit]

A French Orangina commercial is referred to in the new Homosexuality and bestialityimg article, in a section no doubt soon to be used again as the basis of the "Bestiality and France" article and possibly the "Orangina' article too. Here is the commercial on YouTube. It is definitely the weirdest fizzy orange drimk advert I've ever seen (and I speak as a Brit who remembers the "You've been Tango'd" commercials) but I doubt it led even a single French gay to attempt to shag a mountain lion. If it had, I think we would have all read about the horrific injuries he sustained.--Spud (talk) 06:28, 8 October 2011 (UTC)

Every time I glance at that heading I read "French Breasts" then realize my error and am sorely disappointed. --Opcn (talk) 10:43, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
Say what you want, but at least this commercial is pretty much unforgettable. ;) --Sid (talk) 11:15, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
Yeah and watching it once was enough. --BMcP - Just an astronomy guy 17:24, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
So, when do you suppose Ken will discover the furry fandom? And how will Karajou react? Vulpius (talk) 17:52, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
Although Ken wouldn't be the first to attempt to accuse furry fandom as being "bestial"; he may ignore it because the fandom is mostly American, and American in origin. If it was European in focus (or origin) it would be different (or at least if it came out of that evil bastion of all things liberal and atheist, Oregon). Its all about the atheists anyway, so he also have to find some evidence furry is full of atheists.--BMcP - Just an astronomy guy 18:58, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
For his next article, maybe Ken will base it around France being just one massive man/woman-on-animal orgy, with his proof being this. (talk) 19:25, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
Wow, its a full minute of everything that is wrong with the world according to Ken. Which I am sure he would proclaim after watching it 30-40 times.--BMcP - Just an astronomy guy 20:01, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
Clearly Furries are evolutionists who think that we are really animals, they just want to be a different kind of animal is all. Those perverted evilutionists. --Opcn (talk) 20:41, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
Ken is just a bit confused. He must have seen a bit of French rugby and saw Chabals animal magnetism and got a bit aroused. Despite appearances Chabal is human. DamoHi 20:50, 8 October 2011 (UTC)

This subject heading promises more than it delivers. Tmtoulouse (talk) 21:06, 8 October 2011 (UTC)

Amen. --YossarianSpeak, Memory 22:12, 8 October 2011 (UTC)

Andy adds more parody to his own blog[edit]

I don't think I can add to the genius of Schlafly's parody, so here it is verbatim: "In Genesis 1:6-8, we are told that one of God's first creations was a firmament in the heavens. This likely refers to the creation of the luminiferous aether."img Game over, parodists. You can't beat the Arsefly. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 16:52, 8 October 2011 (UTC)

Luminiferous aether... So for Conservapedia, astronomy and physics doesn't extend past the 19th century? I need a facepalm picture, stat! --BMcP - Just an astronomy guy 17:20, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
Facepalm.png <-- There you go. And from the same diff: Oh cool, the lightspeed magnet is back, too! --Sid (talk) 17:39, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
The universe is expanding and the expansion is accelerating. What does this mean? Dark Energy? Sure, according to those liberal hacks in the physics community, and the atheists and partakers of bestiality that is the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences "say" its Dark Energy, but Andy, the true Renaissance Man, sees through the lie, and bonus! Knows that the expanding universe proves the Earth is young too! --BMcP - Just an astronomy guy 17:57, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
I really want to see Andy and JimJast get in to a dust-up over this. That would make my week. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 17:59, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
I know Ken is popular here to watch, but JimJast is my personal favorite; someone who thinks they have all the true answers to how the universe works, and of course this truth is suppressed by a conspiracy by the scientific community.--BMcP - Just an astronomy guy 18:48, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
All the CPers think that. They just disagree about what the TRUTH being covered up is. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 19:12, 8 October 2011 (UTC)

The bit about "this [something about a 'firmament'] likely refers to the creation of the luminiferous aether" stuff was in there before. Someone must have taken it out, and Andy is restoring his douchbaggery. BTW since when does "likely refers to" turn into a disproof of science? Also, he restored the "solenoid" crap that had been in and taken out. He doesn't seem to understand the significance of the word "solenoid" in that context, but thinks it's a cool word. Perhaps me means "magnet" or "region of space where there is a magnetic field". I'm so glad he didn't actually get a college degree in any kind of scientific or technical field. Gauss (talk) 18:45, 8 October 2011 (UTC)

Fuckin' Coloring books[edit]

Terry: The EPA is publishing a coloring book, CHECK HERE TO SEE IF ITS PART OF A GIANT ANTI-AMERICA CONSPIRACY IN THE UN!!!img--Mikalosa (talk) 18:30, 8 October 2011 (UTC)

Today colouring books, comrade. Tomorrow, the world! --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 19:03, 8 October 2011 (UTC)


… Ken is …

a real guy believing his own crap



a real guy and mentally disturbed



one parodist with way too much free time



a group of parodists



an attention whore that doesn't believe in what he does



an attention whore that believes in what he is doing



I don't know



Wanted a to get picture of what people are thinking. --ʤɱ atheist 16:51, 8 October 2011 (UTC)

These choices are oddly presented because the poll software requires one to choose a single option. Three taken together sum the man up nicely: he's a mentally ill attention whore who believes every word he types. And has a tremendously high view of himself. Put that in the poll eh? Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svg 17:36, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
No. --ʤɱ sinner 17:46, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
I'm going for 1 and 2, as they are by no means mutually exclusive, and likely both true. Though I actually think some of what he writes he doesn't entirely believe but does it because he thinks it bothers us. For instance, I doubt he really thinks 5 cases of bestiality in Washington really has any statistical significance, but he sees it as a way to attack atheists. Also, the final choice is certainly true, as none of us do know for sure. DickTurpis (talk) 18:15, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
Ken is obviously mentally disturbed. I'm joining the others, will cease laughing at him and will vote down any Ken WIGO. Probably should have done this way earlier. Hopefully, others will as well. --Night Jaguar (talk) 19:04, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
I just watched this Twilight Zone episode this morning, and I had a hard time watching it because it reminded me a lot of a cross between TK and Ken. Unfortunately, I can't find the episode on youtube or anything. -Lardashe
Interesting. Haven't seen it, but its ending reaches O. Henry levels of predictability. Also, sounds a bit more like Karajou. DickTurpis (talk) 20:41, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
My god they shoed boring crap on TV in the 19th century. Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svg 20:56, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
Given that the overwhelming consensus seems to be that Conservative has mental problems (which I agree with) I would support all the posters who have recently said we should stop paying attention to him. In any case it's far less entertaining to watch someone who is a little disturbed bang on about bestiality/flying kitties than a person in full control of their faculties. When I found out that 'Operation Repo' was staged I lost all interest in it too - the parrallels are strikingly obvious. Tielec01 (talk) 03:33, 10 October 2011 (UTC)
Ignoring him might make it worse though. he obviously made these articles to get our "approval", as his old tricks were starting to lose appeal.--Mikalosa (talk) 03:35, 10 October 2011 (UTC)

Is it time to put up the "mission accomplished" banner?[edit]

I was thinking of waiting until Popeye and JPratt realise that there's nothing at CP to be worth staying for before organising the victory party, but I think now's the time. The bestiality thing has been pretty much the last nail in the coffin of CP as any sort of serious enterprise. All the sysops have ceased to make any serious efforts to improve the place, and now all that's left is Andy trying desperately to stave off the continual peasant revolt.

I think we ought to have some sort of victory celebration and slap a permanent banner over WIGO: CP celebrating the death of this organ of idiocy. What do you reckon? --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 19:20, 8 October 2011 (UTC)

I can't believe I'm saying this: After Rob left the place went radically downhill. I think we should wait with the party 'till Conservapedia simply disappears and Andy sets up a blog with his own little ramblings — including deleting every question asking what happend to CP. Then it's time to fish the last instances of stupiditiy from Google Cache and save them for all eternity, than we can grab the party hats and everybody except me can get drunk as hell. --ʤɱ atheist 19:37, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
Can people please stop announcing the end of CP. I have been here for 3 and a half years and people have been calling the end of CP for all of that time. Conservapedia will keep going in more or less its current state until Andy decides he can't be bothered paying for it anymore. DamoHi 19:42, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
That's not the point. Everyone knows Andy will keep CP up, but as a serious project it is now life extinct. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 19:44, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
Well jeeves, we can do that, if you want to look as terrible as the way Bush being infront of the mission accomplished banner was, when the site is still going in 2012+--Mikalosa (talk) 19:45, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
As a serious project it was stillborn. In that respect its death is nothing new. DickTurpis (talk) 19:51, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
I can't see that anything now is radically different from at any time in the last 3 years. They have always been like this. DamoHi 19:53, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
Still, I think it would be fun to clickbot bestiality articles into the top 10. DickTurpis (talk) 19:56, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
I'm with Damo. I haven't been here nearly so long, but every week, if not every day, someone announces that CP is finally dead. This time for sure. Frankly, it makes RW look fairly stupid to announce the end of CP time and again. Phiwum (talk) 21:15, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
As long as Andy pays the bills it'll never go down. Secondly, what's this "Mission accomplished" bullshit? We didn't do anything, Andy has completely lost control of his site but it was all his ow fault. Aceace 22:15, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
Conservapedia is now the Terry Schiavo of wikis. So long as Andy keeps it on life support it will continue in a persistent vegetative state. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science.Moderator 22:43, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
It's like the joke during the wp:Era of Stagnation, "Brezhnev has been dead for quite some time, but Chernenko hasn't told him." [5] nobsEmpty Recycle Bin 22:52, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
I've been here for a while (not always contributing, mind you) and I have to say Conservapedia's prospects as a serious project were pretty grim from the outset, and they've been dead for years now. This isn't really news. Protoman (talk) 05:10, 10 October 2011 (UTC)

I made the mistake of looking for information on beastiality[edit]

Jesus Christ who knew there would be so many links to beastiality porn! My last brush with internet animal porn was back in the 6th grade with Whitehouse.COM Jesus christ no wonder Ken can't find better sources, it's a morass of porn. Also the news that spurred me to look for information was that Brazil is going secular. --Opcn (talk) 02:31, 9 October 2011 (UTC)

"Why don't you have a seat over there, Mr. Opcn." B♭maj7 (talk) Apple acknowledged that 137 workers at a Chinese factory near the city of Suzhou had been seriously injured by a toxic chemical used in making the slick green screens of the iPhone 02:35, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
Just go to LifeSiteNews. I've never visited it myself, but going by Conservative's edits it seems to be a treasure trove of info on bestiality.--

Kriss AkabusiAAAWOOOGAAAR!!1 12:12, 9 October 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, as Ken discovered, it helps if you spell it correctly. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science.Moderator 12:30, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
Have I been spelling it wrong? Sorry it's not a part of my regular vocabulary! --Opcn (talk) 20:05, 9 October 2011 (UTC)

I know I promised to lay off, but this is classic.[edit]

Awesome troll is awesomeimg. B♭maj7 (talk) Apple acknowledged that 137 workers at a Chinese factory near the city of Suzhou had been seriously injured by a toxic chemical used in making the slick green screens of the iPhone 03:30, 9 October 2011 (UTC)

The talk page for this student has fallen down the memory holeimg. --Longbow (talk) 03:40, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
Student 12.jpg
Oh dear, it really HAS fallen down the memory hole. How do I upload a screenshot? --Longbow (talk) 03:44, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
Like you upload any other image file. B♭maj7 (talk) Apple acknowledged that 137 workers at a Chinese factory near the city of Suzhou had been seriously injured by a toxic chemical used in making the slick green screens of the iPhone 03:45, 9 October 2011 (UTC)

Such Roman rhetoric. Conservativa delenda est. Bluefish (talk) 06:42, 9 October 2011 (UTC)

AugustO still not giving up on that greek thing[edit]

also complains about trimming by andy. Do you thinkimg that he will get the message yet?img--Mikalosa (talk) 05:51, 9 October 2011 (UTC)

nice wigo! I have yet to meet someone here at Conservapedia whose understanding of the Greek language goes beyond being able to search a Greek phrase via Google. The truth must hurt... larronsicut fur in nocte 11:54, 9 October 2011 (UTC)

I dreamed of Ken last night...[edit]

he was running around, trying to weigh me and yelling out "evil atheists like you are OBESE!!!" (talk) 15:00, 9 October 2011 (UTC)

Much as I hate to agree with "Smooth-As-A-Ken-Doll", Its pretty creepy when you dream of an anonymous troll. Now I feel dirty. I need a shower. Or 12.--Thunderstruck (talk) 16:30, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
So what did your version of ken look like, as mr. anonymous gender, location and name :) isn't also forthcoming with pictures in any way.--Mikalosa (talk) 18:14, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
he was morbidly obese with Down syndrome (talk) 18:46, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
BoN, I would say that problem lies more with you than Ken, and if he has Down's syndrome, it's an especially good reason to basically ignore him (in my opinion). άλφαΤαλκ 19:01, 9 October 2011 (UTC)

A Joke for Ken[edit]

Since I discovered my bestiality fetish, my sex life has gone to the dogs... --PsyGremlinTal! 20:06, 8 October 2011 (UTC)

That is lame and stupid. You should be fucking embarrassed. Aceace 21:16, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
Only if "Embarrassed" is the name of one of his dogs *rimshot*. DickTurpis (talk) 21:17, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
I'm coveting my neighbour's ass, does that count? Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science.Moderator 22:30, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
ok, two cowboys out riding the fences and they find a sheep with his head stuck in the fence. One says, "I'm not passing this up...", so he dismounts and proceeds to have intercourse with the sheep. When through, he turns and says to the other, "Hey, want some of this?" And the other says, "Sure, but do I have to get down and stick my head in the fence?" nobsEmpty Recycle Bin 23:03, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
A city boy goes to see his friend out in the country. Arriving at his mates farm he wanders through the paddocks and discovers his friend engaged in sexual act with a sheep. Feeling rather embarrassed at the situation the city boy feigns ignorance and asks "Are you shearing that sheep?" to which the farmer responds "No, get your own". Aceace 23:10, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
I used to be really into sadism, necrophilia, and beastiality, but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse. --Cowabunga (talk) 23:41, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
Sex is boring. Incest is relatively boring. Necrophilia is dead boring. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 01:54, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
I hate all of you. WeaselNation (talk) 13:38, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
Actually beastiality is no laughing matter. It can cause quite the rift in how things translate across cultures. For example, the rest of the world knows the famous Rolling Stones song as "Hey you, get off of my cloud." In Scotland its known as "Hey McLeod, get off of my ewe." -Tygrehart
CP needs a cp:Bestiality in Buffalo, where men are men and buffalo are nervous. nobsEmpty Recycle Bin 22:07, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
^Finds that to be in terribly poor taste---Mikalosa (talk) 22:14, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
Good. ONE / TALK 08:42, 10 October 2011 (UTC)

Ken claims another victim[edit]

James Wilson has had enoughimg. --Longbow (talk) 23:14, 8 October 2011 (UTC)

Music man left? Elvis is nowhere near as cool as bestiality, man!--Colonel Sanders (talk) 00:42, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
Apparently related discussionimg between Gunther (also retired by now) and James. --Sid (talk) 00:49, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
@Colonel Sanders, I'll have you know I fucked a few horses in my time. BTW, your fucking chicken killed me you bastard. Thangyouverymuch.Elvis (talk) 03:15, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
What? The Chairperson of User:Conservative's blue ribbon Blocking Refinement Panel goes down in smoke and flames before the October proposals are presented to Andy Schlalfy? Good job, Ken. Well done. nobsEmpty Recycle Bin 22:02, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
Nobby, here's a little education for you. Although you have spelt "blue ribbon" correctly what you really mean is "blue riband". Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science.Moderator 09:22, 10 October 2011 (UTC)
The what committee? --Mikalosa (talk) 22:04, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
Ken's little blocking refinement "panel", which much like Rob's "community portal", has been ignored. Jimmyboy was supposed to chair the "refinement" but left due to the screwing of the Conservapedia shelter cats and dogs by Ken. Jimmyboy subsequently packed up and went to Ameriwiki, taking his "articles" with him (including the one on Elvis the Pelvis that once made it on the Main Page when Rob tried to get some non-Ken crap on the main page through a committee, which, of course, was abandoned). The only non-cabal members left seem to be SharonW (who surprisingly didn't leave after Jimmyboy), KhalidM (who Karaturd surprisingly hasn't banned yet for being a Muslim sock of LeonardS and Human), and KevinDavis (some guy who is probably on RW and is the only regular non-banned editor to not yet have a banhammer).--Colonel Sanders (talk) 22:16, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
I've considered unblocking myself for the hell of it. (I've been self-blocked for like 4/5 days and still got block rights). And im surprised shes lasted as long as she has (Sharon)--Mikalosa (talk) 22:20, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
Still? I thought the Schlafmeister would've taken those away when you revealed yourself. Does Jimmy still have his? And as for Sharon, she's still on life support. Khalid's gonna be gone soon as well. You could unblock yourself, but it's a freakin' waste going to CP. Plus, what would you do? You could do like I did and join the "New" Conservapedia :) or just stay at AW. George doesn't seem like an asshole.--Colonel Sanders (talk) 22:26, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
Well the goal was to mess with tech and game articles but well, i stopped caring for games when i ran into douglas and his "DONT ADVERTISE FILTH!!!!" and ed's little "IE sucks, IE wasnt made by Microsoft, it isnt published or updated by MS, so any of it's history is irrelevant after the first lie that it was made by Microsoft, and it doesn't require its own article". so i just undid vandals.--Mikalosa (talk) 01:52, 10 October 2011 (UTC)
Douglas was always a bizarre one. He deleted an article once I created under a stupid account relating to video games. I saw he reverted your edits to GTA. Yet they have articles of decent length on Super Mario Bros. and Wiisports. As for IE and Ed, he's just an ignorant caboose who talks out of his ass most of the time. His area of expertise is slutty adolescent females, y'know, so I don't think he knows about IE. I did a report on Bill Gates in eighth grade and I am more qualified than him. But still, don't go back. And I hope Jimmy has fun mucking up AW with his useless music trivia.--Colonel Sanders (talk) 02:12, 10 October 2011 (UTC)

History teaching, Schlafly style[edit]

Homeskool victim: The Huns were a Germanic tribe.

Aschlafly: Excellent answerimg

And people PAY for this shite?? It's well past time that homeskooling was banned in the USA, like it is in civilised countries. --Longbow (talk) 00:34, 9 October 2011 (UTC)

No, no! Homeschooling is the last endeavor to protect our youth from liberal ideas! What will we do if Schlafly stops undereductating young minds such as the ones who think undereducating is a word?--Colonel Sanders (talk) 00:41, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
Well, given the standard of Schlafly's homeskool "teaching," I think McDonalds might find their pool of illiterate morons shrinking a bit if he's put out of business. --Longbow (talk) 00:47, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
True, and I do love a good Big Mac. And I love his philosophy "Write a 150 word essay or add three 6-word entries to my study guide! I would've loved to have Schlafly as a teacher: I would ace the class without trying! Full marks for Bullshit!--Colonel Sanders (talk) 00:57, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
I love how in question 4 on the main assignment pageimg, "Explain what Pax Romana was", "Pax Romana" is a link to the damned article. --Roofus (talk) 01:34, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
Student:My favorite Aesop fable was the Tortise and the Hare since it shows how even an unlikely force can win.
Assfly:Good (spelling: "tortoise") (Full marks)
Epic.--Colonel Sanders (talk) 01:41, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
Even with how wrong Andy is his kids still probably come out well ahead of average. Schooling is hard to do well. --Opcn (talk) 02:25, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
And you have made the SAME mistake many people, liberal and conservative have made Longbow, by using ONE example of homeschooling to damn the ENTIRE thing. Shall we ban the internet because of 4chan trolls? Games because some are a little violent, music cause it offends us? Books cause some be a little bit not what we like? Where does that line of logic end?--Mikalosa (talk) 02:58, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
I have nothing against homeskooling as long as the ones doing the teaching have the required qualifications, the educational facilities meet Federal standards and a designated curriculum is followed. Education, like dentistry, is important and should only be carried out by qualified professionals. --Longbow (talk) 03:02, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
I am fine with homeschooling as long as the class isn't taught by Andy.--BMcP - Just an astronomy guy 04:12, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
^, I get thwe feeling my world Civ prof. would weep if she saw what he taught. --Mikalosa (talk) 04:23, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
I unfortunately know some kids who are home schooled by someone maybe a half step above Andy. Socially inept, mean, arrogant, and very right wing. Senator Harrison (talk) 11:22, 10 October 2011 (UTC)

Article on CP[edit]

Think Progress. B♭maj7 (talk) "And when they ask me who is the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan I’m going to say, you know, I don’t know. Do you know?" 21:40, 10 August 2010 (UTC)

Heh, didn't twig on to the date--someone just posted it on CPs main talk page, so I figured it was new. B♭maj7 (talk) "And when they ask me who is the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan I’m going to say, you know, I don’t know. Do you know?" 21:57, 10 October 2011 (UTC)
Man, Counterexamples To Relativity is more than a year old already? O_o; --Sid (talk) 22:20, 10 October 2011 (UTC)

2012 presidential election updates[edit]

Romney continues to hold onto #1, while Jeb, despite having made no indications of running sits on #2 and would probably be #1 if he was actually running atm. Ron Paul sits at a good third, new man cain takes fourth place over perry. the interesting thing about Cain is that apparently it's bad that he is getting more national attention. I'd keep going down but... fuck it.--Mikalosa (talk) 03:21, 10 October 2011 (UTC)

Butt fuck what? Tielec01 (talk) 03:26, 10 October 2011 (UTC)
But fuck the list. I think it's comical that Ron Paul shot past other candidates but was stopped in his assent by someone with zero chance of making it. --Opcn (talk) 03:56, 10 October 2011 (UTC)
"newman cain"? really? ONE / TALK 08:45, 10 October 2011 (UTC)
I don't get it. What is "Newman Cain" s'posed to mean? Phiwum (talk) 16:09, 10 October 2011 (UTC)
what does the word new mean? What does the word man mean? take those together as new man.

there you go champ--Mikalosa (talk) 18:30, 10 October 2011 (UTC)

What is it about Herman Cain that suggests calling him "new man"? See, that's the part I'm just not getting. Phiwum (talk) 18:38, 10 October 2011 (UTC)
I don't know who he is, for as far as im concerned/interested, he's new. --Mikalosa (talk) 21:32, 10 October 2011 (UTC)
I interpreted that as mishearing his name, personally, so I demand an apology. Anyway, he doesn't seem to have done anything political before, so that's about right. (talk) 22:17, 10 October 2011 (UTC)
He was chairman of a Fed Branch, it's not an elected position but fuck be fucked if it isn't a fucking political position. --Opcn (talk) 22:28, 10 October 2011 (UTC)
Ah. I didn't feel like looking him up before I spoke, and hadn't heard anyone mention that...or anything beyond "he made pizza!", really. Liberal bias at work. (talk) 15:42, 11 October 2011 (UTC)

Redphone: A new source for Ken[edit]

here you go Ken I think it's perfect for your Sexual immorality and Swedenimg "article"--Opcn (talk) 21:15, 10 October 2011 (UTC)

No one has opinions? --Opcn (talk) 00:41, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
Yeah, but God hates Murrica too!--Colonel Sanders (talk) 01:19, 12 October 2011 (UTC)

What is this?[edit]

What does Popeye know that I'm missingimg. What is a "know show," would that be like Jeopardy? 05:25, 11 October 2011 (UTC) C®ackeЯ

I guess it's related to thisimg. Did anyone manage to screen cap this before first andy and then anger bear deleted it? Oldusgitus (talk) 06:01, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
His wording makes it seem that conservatives know all about pea shooters and the use thereof, and for some reason that makes me laugh. X Stickman (talk) 06:55, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
Can't Karajou view the deleted page without restoring it for all to see? Or does he not "no" how to use his sysop powers properly? Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science.Moderator 07:59, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
I posit that Karajou in fact does not know how to use a pea shooter. I spent a great deal of my childhood using one, and unless you get one of the overly fancy ones either end will function perfectly for shooting out the missile. All you have to know is to blow down the tube, not suck in. --Opcn (talk) 08:35, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
Ohhhhhh, that explains a lot! I was wondering why mine never worked! =O --Sid (talk) 10:43, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
Jesus christ no home addresses please. Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svg 12:48, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
I didn't realize that the address had any significance - it seemed to be just random trolling... larronsicut fur in nocte 13:27, 11 October 2011 (UTC)

Leftist Politicians and Protests[edit]

Andy: Damn those leftist politicians, allowing protestors to protest!img In a TRUE conservative, freedom loving country protestors wouldn't be allowed to disrupt people with they're silly calls for equality! --Mikalosa (talk) 16:26, 11 October 2011 (UTC)

Sidenote, I just noticed a lot of my WIGO's start with "DAMN X!"--Mikalosa (talk) 16:30, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
And I thought Herman Cain was an asshole for saying this... From all the reactions I've seen Andy's is as usual the stupidest. --ʤɱ federalist 17:03, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
Anyone see they're article on OWS? They seem offended that they're being compared to the tea party.--Thunderstruck (talk) 20:53, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
Thanks to Thunderstruck I just discovered this little pearl:
Occupy Wall Street articleimg: "The movement was inspired by the Arab Spring protests in Cairo that were organized by the Muslim Brotherhood."
Arab Spring articleimg: "The Arab Spring of 2011 was the culmination of the neoconservative foreign policy of George W. Bush to promote and foster democracy among the Arab peoples and throughout the Middle East."
George W. Bush is a member of the Muslim Brotherhood! Ah, the insights! --ʤɱ netlabelist 21:24, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
That means junior is responsible for the protests, not just for the tax cuts, but for inspiring the people to protest the people getting the cuts. QUICK, I NEED A CHALK BOARD.--Thunderstruck (talk) 01:53, 12 October 2011 (UTC)

Socks of Leonard and Human[edit]

Anybody got a rough estimate how many people are blocked for the reason of "Trolling: Sock of X and Human?"--Mikalosa (talk) 16:46, 11 October 2011 (UTC)

I'm sure Karaturd's gloating on the private email list about how deeply it gets under someone's skin. Or something. He's not very smart. Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svg 17:00, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
I'm pretty sure it is no longer a "real" reason but one to see us bitch about it. [If we] Stop commenting on these and a new improved block reason will be forthcoming. 17:06, 11 October 2011 (UTC) C®ackeЯ
I like how i ask for a simple guess of how many accounts are blocked for that reason and i get told I'm bitching about it?--Mikalosa (talk) 17:07, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
Point taken, I've edited the sentence to make it conditional so as to negate its command-soundingness. 17:27, 11 October 2011 (UTC) C®ackeЯ
I thought we were all socks of AmesG. Bad Faith (talk) 17:09, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
I wonder what he is seeing in our tor IP's that lets him know that we are all socks of human, or leonards, or whoever the head vampire is. --Opcn (talk) 18:54, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
Given how stupid he is, any IP within +/- of a previous user MUST, in his aching little mind, be a sock. --Longbow (talk) 19:34, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
The simple explanation would just be that Kara makes it up to antagonize us (and maybe bait Human into a lawsuit so he can live out his courtroom fantasies). Didn't he at one point declare "If I say it's him, then it's him!"? I think it was when every banned user magically was Ames, and PJR questioned Kara about this. Fairly certain it's in the Conservaleaks, but it's late, so I can't look for it right now, sorry. --Sid (talk) 22:43, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
Popeye just blocks people at random, that's what he does. It's not like he contributes anything else to Andy's blog. When there's a lull in active users then he just goes on a spree blocking inactive ones. And it's an effective strategy at CP too. If you block a random user, what are the odds that you are actually blocking a genuine productive editor? Zero. --Inquisitor (talk) 00:22, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
If they took a break the odds of making a mistake might go up, wouldn't want that. --Opcn (talk) 00:38, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
Karajou once claimed to have blocked a whole lot of my "italian" ip's. I have never been to Italy nor used any other IP other than whatever computer I happened to be on at the time. He just makes it up. Aceace 00:39, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
He's either making it up or he has absolutely zero clue as to how IP addresses work. In either case, that would normally disqualify a user from gaining CheckUser rights. --Inquisitor (talk) 01:44, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
This is the guy who thinks anyone on Roadrunner is a vandal and that the RIPE Network Coordination Centre is an ISP from which dozens of cyberterrorists work their liberal skullduggery. He's loony. Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svg 03:52, 12 October 2011 (UTC)

KhalidM leaves[edit]

Yep, Ken's still a great public face for the wiki! --Sid (talk) 22:01, 11 October 2011 (UTC)

This happended a good 2 weeks after he said he was leaving--Mikalosa (talk) 22:09, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
"...Islam doesn't really have a great track record when it comes to sexual morality. For example, polygamy (4 wives). Mohammed married the 9 year old Aisha..." King Salomon had 700 wives and Mary was very young teenager when God knocked her up. What's your point Ken? --Inquisitor (talk) 22:30, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
Well... things were different then!--Mikalosa (talk) 22:33, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
If it happened before ~400 AD then it's okay. If it happened after then it's sick! (BTW, don't you hate how atheists are moral relativists.) --Night Jaguar (talk) 05:16, 12 October 2011 (UTC)

Mitt Romney[edit]

"The lack of criticism of Romney by the lamestream media suggests that they want him to win so that they can defeat him in the general election."img Right Andy, because Bachmann or Perry would completely steamroll Obama. Aceace 03:28, 12 October 2011 (UTC)

Things that CP has ruined or the Godspeed Effect[edit]

Several of us have done this before but I thought an update is in order. These are things that we might read, see, hear or even think that then make us think about CP or one of its members in turn ruining the moment. In most cases, the word or subject matter would have been internally non-contentious before CP exposure. For many of us, particularly outside the US, CP was probably the first major exposure we had to YEC and other American "Culture War" subjects.

Please add.

  • "Godspeed" - I heard it in a film the other day and the effect was instant.
  • Astronomy - particularly anything that mentions more than 6,000 years or light-years.
  • Geology - particularly anything that mentions more than 6,000 years.
  • Evolution
  • "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her."
  • "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."
  • Liberal
  • Atheist/m
  • Socialist/m/tic
  • Lenski
  • Pretty much any BBC natural history or astronomy show
  • "Mainstream"
  • Relativity
  • GPS
  • Open Source
  • Black holes
  • Radiometric dating
  • NHS - Yes, seriously
  • Fossils
  • Kitties
  • Bestiality
  • Gun control
  • Conservative
  • Real name
  • "You WILL..."
  • Homosexual agenda
  • Trimmed
  • Public school - fellow Brits will understand that one
  • Home-schooling
  • 90/10
  • "Growing rapidly"
  • Barack Hussein Obama
  • Claptrap - I used to like this word and I used it on occasion. It is now forever useless to me.

Ajkgordon (talk) 12:57, 11 October 2011 (UTC)

I get a jolt any time anything has the initials TK.-- Kriss AkabusiAAAWOOOGAAAR!!1 13:10, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
TKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTK! AndyToad.gifNorsemanCyser Melomel 13:48, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
One of my favorite games, Borderlands, has aNPC called CL4P-TP, also called "claptrap". So thank you assfly. It was such a good game to.--Thunderstruck (talk) 14:09, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
In regards to, or regarding. --DurbinatorDurbinating 14:28, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
2+2=4, and "Autumn foliage". ONE / TALK 14:34, 11 October 2011 (UTC)

"Gentlemen." B♭maj7 (talk) "And when they ask me who is the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan I’m going to say, you know, I don’t know. Do you know?" 14:40, 11 October 2011 (UTC)

Well, thats Team Fortress 2 ruined. thanks Kenny LordSlug You want me to what's that? 02:23, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
This past summer a new show started up on the USA Network called Necessary Roughness with one of the main characters Terrence King — the first five or so episodes I needed to try not to think CP everytime he talks about himself as "TK". Oh, yeah "CP", "Ken", "Andy" and "MSM"/"Mainstream Media" too. --ʤɱ structuralist 14:44, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
It's not quite the same, but when my history class brought up Phyllis Schlafly last week (for ERA purposes), I had to keep myself from laughing... ~ Kupochama[1][2] 15:02, 11 October 2011 (UTC)

The one that bothers me the most is that to me the term "open-minded" now has a negative connotation. DickTurpis (talk) 15:12, 11 October 2011 (UTC)

"Open-minded" was dead to me long before CP was created -- it's basically code for "Accept my crank ideas, dammit!" Nebuchadnezzar (talk) 16:57, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
Not strictly CP related, but they're arch offenders. "Family" is ruined for me because to my mind it now translates to "we hate gays." --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 15:59, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
Which is ironic, given that "family" was gay slang for "one of us", as in "I wonder if the new guy is family?" 16:55, 11 October 2011 (UTC) C®ackeЯ
My faith in humanity. MDB (talk) 16:04, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
Honestly, I deal differently with anyone named Ken now. WeaselNation (talk) 16:07, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
"Trustworthy." Also, I can't have Buffalo wings anymore without thinking, at least briefly, about the man from Buffalo. Godspeed (talk) 17:09, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
"Insight". Giggle every time I see that word now. --Night Jaguar (talk) 17:29, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
Godspeed, don't you mean "Trusworthy"? --Edgerunner76 Buddy christ.jpg 17:53, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
I can't read something phrased "A [something] of [something]" without a little voice at the back of my head intoning it as "A [something]...of [something]?" First time it happened was when I saw the album cover for I Ran: The Best of a Flock...of Seagulls? a few months ago. Grumblejaws (talk) 18:07, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
Adding another ruined phrase that can double as the issue you're having: The Ides... of March? ;) --Sid (talk) 22:45, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
Back to "Godspeed". I was watching a documentary about the early history of US spaceflight the other day, and when it came to the inevitable "Godspeed, John Glenn" it might as well been Andy there on the TV, banhammering that goddam big guhbermen' leechin', tax-dollar spending' NASA-lovin DEMOCRAT. --TheEgyptiansig001.png 22:04, 11 October 2011 (UTC)

Wait. No-one mentioned the FBI yet? DogP (talk) 06:57, 12 October 2011 (UTC)

DO NOT MENTION THE FBI! *BANHAMMER* --Sid (talk) 09:16, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
The coffee shop I'm in just played Sam Cooke's Only Sixteen, and Uncle Bad Touch came to mind. Godspeed (talk) 14:16, 12 October 2011 (UTC)

America's greatest art form on America's greatest wiki.[edit]

Needs workimg. B♭maj7 (talk) "And when they ask me who is the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan I’m going to say, you know, I don’t know. Do you know?" 14:43, 11 October 2011 (UTC)

Now see, if I was the kind of person who said "Burn a sock..." I would suggest that this list needs the addition of 20 Jazz Funk Greats just to see how long it stays there. (talk) 09:47, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
Thisimg is also a bit of a belter. Seems that there is only one town in England, and that is a crappy little run-down seaside dump in the middle of inbred land. Oldusgitus (talk) 10:11, 12 October 2011 (UTC)


It would appear the atheists posted a surrender message but Conservative ended up scrubbing it.

A plea to Conservative

As a leading member of several atheist organizations I come here to plead with Conservative and the Conservapedia on bended knee. Please have some pity and stop your attacks on us. As you well know, Atheism and non-belief are a dying force in the world, is it necessary to pummel us with your constant attacks? Conservative's efforts to explain our connection to obesity, bestiality, and other forms of weakness and immorality have been a constant torment for us. You should see us grouped around the monitors in our San Francisco headquarters, every edit by Conservative is like the blow of a mallet to our collective heads. Every time Conservative posts another article you can hear a groan of desperation echo through the building. Where once I heard confident plans on how to increase abortions and send Christians to reeducation camps I hear only sobbing. We have said that Christopher Hitchens is dying of cancer, but the truth is that Conservative's attacks have so damaged his psyche that he is literally dying. The other day I walked into the office of a good friend of mine who is an atheist professor, he was curled up in a fetal ball in front of a laptop with Conservative's new article on atheism and obesity open. He has not slept or eaten for three days and his family is very frightened. It is like Conservative is diving into our hidden minds and pulling out our greatest fears and weaknesses. He than takes these weaknesses and plunges his rapier of logic with unpitying rectitude into the sinful flesh of our anti-Christian agenda. There is no defense against his genius, there is no way for us to counter the truth he speaks so clearly. You have won, please have some Christian pity on us and let those few of us that are left fade away in peace. DannyS 16:28, 11 October 2011 (EDT)

Your IP address shows Kansas, not San Francisco. By the way, my terms are unconditional surrender. I hope you enjoy church this Sunday. Conservative 18:12, 11 October 2011 (EDT)

Infoseek (talk) 22:25, 11 October 2011 (UTC)

I like how (implicitly) Ken had to check the IP to check if this was genuine or not. =P --Sid (talk) 22:37, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
I like how he doesn't seem to realize that lots of ISP's bounce their traffic all over the place and can put exit points from their intranets anywhere. Even with the outages I'm always surprised they're able to keep the site up and running as well as they do. Does Andy run the server? I've always wondered if they have some systems admin in reserve that nobody knows about. Infoseek (talk) 22:56, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
They use managed hosting. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 01:37, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
Which is a smart move by the way. Anyone who says "I will do all the admin in my spare time" is either setting themselves up to make "sys admin for a web site" their main hobby activity or more likely ensuring the site will be unreliable and poorly maintained. I don't mean here stuff that's administrivia and could in theory be delegated, but stuff like "install security fix for MediaWiki" or "upgrade to newer version of database". If nobody is getting paid to do that, it is very likely not to get done, and that will end badly. (talk) 09:42, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
Heh, this reminds me of when Karajou got that email and couldn't see the parody for the trees. I'd like to think that even Ken, with all his mental problems, could see this was a blatent fake... though his use of checkuser does have me wondering. Perhaps we should begin a list of "collossal parody non-detections made by CP sysops". We could start it off with "Andy / All of CP" ONE / TALK 12:27, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
That is possibly the funniest thing I've read in relation to Conservapedia in at least 18 months! ADK...I'll duel your ninja! 12:45, 12 October 2011 (UTC)

Atheism, gender, marriage and suicide[edit]

Look, I understand that Conservative is a truly disturbed individual and it's not nice to keep poking fun at his writing, but I have to say that Atheism, gender, marriage and suicideimg is one of the all-time best Wiki section headings ever. Ever. It's got everything. Love. Sex. Religion. Violence and death. Even hints of depravity. A novel in four words, man. Phiwum (talk) 03:41, 12 October 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for giving me a fucking headache. I had to look at the title to even figure out what that disjointed turdpile was. Thanks for nothing. Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svg 03:56, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
CP is basically Monty Python's spam skit now. "Do you have any articles without atheism in them?" "Well, there's "Atheism, bestiality, gender, and atheism, that's not got much." "Why doesn't she try Obesity, atheism, liberals, and homosexuality?" "THAT'S about atheism!" "Not as much as Atheism, bestiality, gender, and atheism." "I DON'T WANT TO READ ABOUT ATHEISM!" "Don't cause a fuss, I'll read your sections on atheism. I love it, I'm reading Atheism, atheism, atheism, atheism, atheism, atheism, baked beans and atheism!" DickTurpis (talk) 04:07, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
Can't forget the lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce, served in a Provençale manner with shallots and aubergines, garnished with truffle pate, brandy and a fried egg on top and ATHEISM! Nebuchadnezzar (talk) 04:13, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
Dick wins. --Opcn (talk) 05:43, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
Different sketch, but.... "Venezuelan beaver atheism?" MDB (talk) 13:41, 12 October 2011 (UTC)

So much more could be done...[edit]

number of pages and articles containing the words "masturbation", "obesity", "bestiality", "sodomy" and "orgasm".
percentage of pages and articles..
  • some of the data is inaccurate because of the many deleted articles: e.g, there has been an article of cp:masturbation in the early days, but it was deleted because it was obscene (unlike clean, family-friendly articles on bestiality)
  • the number of articles containing the word bestiality seems to be rather small, but 10% of all revisions contained this word in Sep 2010. That doesn't mean that 10% of all comments used this word, but that 10% of all edits were made to pages covering this subject.
  • one can only speculate that bestiality will rise as well as obesity - but I think Andy will quietly delete any page which he as a lawyer thinks to be difficult: and XYZ is buggering sheep seems to be more libelous/slanderous than XYZ is fat!

larronsicut fur in nocte 10:23, 12 October 2011 (UTC)

Dammit Andy pay attention to me!!![edit]

August: Why are you so ruuude andy!img--Mikalosa (talk) 13:14, 12 October 2011 (UTC)

Good luck with this! Andy can't stand people more knowledgeable than him... larronsicut fur in nocte 13:18, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
Er... so Andy can't stand anyone? WeaselNation (talk) 13:42, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
He seems to like Ed Poor.-- Kriss AkabusiAAAWOOOGAAAR!!1 13:43, 12 October 2011 (UTC)

August has been a busy an attention-seeking little beaver...img larronsicut fur in nocte 14:24, 12 October 2011 (UTC)

Would it be bad if i ended my 1` week block temporarily so i could put him out of his misery?--Mikalosa (talk) 14:28, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
You might as well. August is trying to bring a modicum of sense to CP and nobody wants that. If you were to unblock yourself, block August, and then re-block yourself, it would be the most unaccountable block ever made, and the CP sysops would wipe their brows in unison, thankful that they neither have to put up with August's shit, nor be the one to publically block him themselves and thus tacitly admit that they couldn't bear his unwaivering criticism. Do it. You have a gun, pull the trigger. ONE / TALK 15:16, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
Oh, leave him alone. Why be an asshole? Honestly, I don't quite get some of the motives around here. I watch CP because what the natives do is funny. Phiwum (talk) 17:15, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
Exactly - what's the point in blocking August? To show that there are unjustifiable blocks at CP which please Andy? Surprise! larronsicut fur in nocte 17:55, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
Well, i would see it as a mercy kill, he's not going anywhere and his still trying is just sort of like watching a soldier struggle on despite having no lower torso or legs--Mikalosa (talk) 18:59, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
Leave him the fuck alone. How he spends his time is his damned business, not yours. There's no reason to add to his frustration, which is precisely what your block would do. If the (legitimate) folks at CP are assholes, too bad for August. If your goddamned sock is an asshole too, then too bad for August and also so much the worse for your sense of decency.
Why the hell should we contribute to the annoyance of apparently decent folks like August? It isn't your role to determine when euthanasia is appropriate. It's up to him. Phiwum (talk) 19:10, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
Are you calling me not decent? Fuck you.--Mikalosa (talk) 19:13, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
You aren't decent. You're a fucking asshole. You banned August for no fucking reason at all. There's something honestly wrong with you. You should know better. Phiwum (talk) 19:17, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
EC Your behavior on CP is far from decent. Almost Rob-like, even. B♭maj7 (talk) Member of the Kara Duhe fan club since 2010 19:18, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
Really, what's wrong with you? larronsicut fur in nocte 19:20, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
He was going to be banned anyways, i put him out of his misery early. Did I really wanna ban him? No. So fuck you phiw--Mikalosa (talk) 19:25, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
"Put him out of his misery?" What the fuck, is he, Old Yeller or something? You reprehensible turd, maybe he was enjoying what he was doing over there. Maybe he saw himself making a point. You're no better than Ed or TK or Rob or any of them. B♭maj7 (talk) Member of the Kara Duhe fan club since 2010 19:29, 12 :October 2011 (UTC)
If he enjoyed ANY part of his stay at CP then theres other much more important problems with august. --Mikalosa (talk) 19:35, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
Not your call to make, buddy. B♭maj7 (talk) Member of the Kara Duhe fan club since 2010 19:36, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
I was given a job to do anyways, I did the job those block rights give me. in no way do i like what im doing with those powers, but its STILL the job given to me.--Mikalosa (talk) 19:38, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
You poor man. No real choices, eh? You had to unblock yourself and be an asshole, because, goddammit, that's your job. Okay then. Phiwum (talk) 19:40, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
Actually, block rights over there are only for dealing with vandals. The kind of disciplinary blocking that you pulled is reserved for trusted sysops, not junior lickspittles like yourself. B♭maj7 (talk) Member of the Kara Duhe fan club since 2010 19:41, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
Well i'm hoping andy notices what i'm doing so he can take the damn powers away. A failed parthian shot and outright challenging the sysops on unjustified blocks haven't worked yet.--Mikalosa (talk) 19:42, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
Wait, first you were doing August a kindness, and now it's a cry for help? Pick a story and stick with it, man. B♭maj7 (talk) Member of the Kara Duhe fan club since 2010 19:44, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
(EC) You know, you could just admit that what you did was a bad idea and let it go, rather than coming up with a whole slew of silly justifications. Sometimes, we do things we later realize we shouldn't have done. So it goes. Phiwum (talk) 19:46, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
I already admitted to not liking doing it. its not like i did it with a gleeful smile of sociopathy.--Mikalosa (talk) 19:47, 12 October 2011 (UTC)

──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── (EC, to Mikalosa) Yeah, you're a swell guy. He was going to die, so I killed him first. I'm real impressed with your sense of compassion.

Honestly, commenting on what assholes there are at CP is one thing. Showing that you can beat them to the punch is quite another. As far as I'm concerned, all socks are crossing a line that I don't care to cross, but it's especially heinous when you not only contribute to the stupidity of CP, but you contribute to the senseless hostility as well. If you don't see the difference, I guess I don't know what to say.

Wouldn't you like to ask August whether he appreciates your kindness in putting a metaphorical bullet in his head? You think he'd notice your well-developed sense of compassion?Phiwum (talk) 19:32, 12 October 2011 (UTC)

AugustO should join DeniseM in leaving the project. His? questions aren't as good anyway.... Nil Einne (talk) 15:49, 12 October 2011 (UTC)

I see that Mikalosa has reduced the block to August to one day (and he did so some time ago), so I suppose I'll stop beating up on him. No sense carrying this argument on. Phiwum (talk) 19:48, 12 October 2011 (UTC)

So, according to AugustO's block log, Mikalosa is only as bad as Andy, not as Ed Poor, Douglas and Karajou - which means that he is still an idiot. larronsicut fur in nocte
August has been unblocked again. Mikilosas shit was all for naught LordSlug You want me to what's that? 22:47, 12 October 2011 (UTC)

TerryH's latest blog posting[edit]

The most bizarre thing about this little rantimg is this little ditty: Occupy Wall Street features pre-printed signs. Some of those carrying the signs cannot even read them. Tea Party folks, in contrast, make their own signs.. Huh? Aceace 01:06, 11 October 2011 (UTC)

Ace, when you ref that hateblog remember to use <caps>. Redchuck.gif ГенгисOur ignorance is God; what we know is science.Moderator 07:54, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
Anything that can be said to attack liberals, no matter how trivial or stupid, is worth mentioning. SoCal 212 01:08, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
Because the TEA party is rehashing old slogans from the glory days of the revolution. The OW crowd, by NOT doing so is obviously worthless, non-literate and lazy--Mikalosa (talk) 01:11, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
Yep, it's obvious the Tea Party folks are making their own signs: Teabonics.
"Occupy Wall Street has many people showing up to “score” free stuff—free food, or even free drugs" [Citation desperately fuckin' needed] --Night Jaguar (talk) 02:07, 11 October 2011 (UTC)
Crap I'm missing that? Why is it you Americans get all the good protests? Nil Einne (talk) 12:16, 13 October 2011 (UTC)
Not exactly tea party, but weren't some conservatives including some at conservapedia very happy about this Obamaville sign. Not exactly home made there.... Nil Einne (talk) 12:01, 13 October 2011 (UTC)
Incidentally, why is it so many tea party supporters lack any sort of basic internet searching skills (i.e. a 1 minute Google) and keep repeating the easily proven false claim no tea party protestors have ever been arrested [6] [7] [8]. Has conservapedia ever made this claim? At least the smarter tea party supporters say something like there have been far fewer tea party arrests, which is harder to disprove (even if still way too simplistic and therefore largely irrelevant) Nil Einne (talk) 12:14, 13 October 2011 (UTC)

Remember JoMar's love for Gaddafi?[edit]

Well, he's got a hard-on for another brutal Arab dictator nowimg. What is it with this guy? B♭maj7 (talk) Member of the Kara Duhe fan club since 2010 16:31, 12 October 2011 (UTC)

That piece of shit makes Assad sound like the democratic saviour that will bring freedom to his people. --ʤɱ digital native 16:38, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
Seriously, Jack Martinez is disgusting in his support of dictators. I used to think he was supporting Qaddafi because he sold the west oil; now with his support of Assad I think Martinez is just a totalitarian who has a respect for these governments. --Phil Leotardo da Vinci (talk) 18:57, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
I'm of the opinion that he's just sexually aroused by swarthy, powerful men. DickTurpis (talk) 19:05, 12 October 2011 (UTC)

We've hinted at this sort of thing before; JoMar has posted some anti-Israel stuff that just doesn't fit in with Evangelical American Conservatism, he's written more than a few articles that show that he has a strong interest in who's a Jew, and he has a tendency to support Arab leaders who are not by any stretch friends of Israel. B♭maj7 (talk) Member of the Kara Duhe fan club since 2010 19:13, 12 October 2011 (UTC)

I would not be surprised if he is a supporter of Fidel Castro. But of course he cannot say that on CP.--Tlaloc (talk) 05:41, 13 October 2011 (UTC)
How can you support a dead man?--Mikalosa (talk) 12:48, 13 October 2011 (UTC)
With a few two-by-fours? #rimshot# MDB (talk) 14:03, 13 October 2011 (UTC)

Ed Poor - The Amazing Douche[edit]

Max: Someone please do something about this incivility.img
Andy: 2 day block.img
Everyone else: ............
Max: I am surprised by you most of all Ed.img
Ed: Incivility! But out of mercy I'll change it to 10 mins.img
Ed to Conservative: Naughty boyimg

Well done Ed! Aceace 22:40, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
Whats with ed and taking small stands of late?--Mikalosa (talk) 22:41, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
Probably he's feeling bad because he turned up at Ameriwiki and got told exactly how much of a cunt he is. --Longbow (talk) 23:02, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
Oh yeah, that was funny. Aceace 23:03, 12 October 2011 (UTC)

Somehow, Ed is consistent: From "How long are we going to tolerate TK?" (part 2):860/d0f1c0a9e00ee7daa8ff39c21ca65336.html

When I taught Sunday School, if I saw two children abusing each other, I rarely punished both. One "time-out" per incident is enough to get the message across: we are here to do class work, not to hurt each other. Sometimes I'd deliberately choose the "less troublesome" of the pair. I don't believe we have to get to the bottom of it; it doesn't matter who started it. I told the kids, if someone in class is hurting you, don't retaliate. Come to me if you need help.

Now I train Sunday School teachers . . .

larronsicut fur in nocte 23:12, 12 October 2011 (UTC)

Ken isn't really impressedimg by his 10-minute block - if he even realized that it happened since he hadn't been active in that time. --Sid (talk) 23:59, 12 October 2011 (UTC)
:: Hang on, can we wind back to the bit where Ed was a Sunday School teacher? Ed Poor... with kids? Holy f*ck... no pun intended :/ --TheEgyptiansig001.png 00:16, 13 October 2011 (UTC)
If you believe Ed's self reporting, he has about a billion jobs. And he's awesome at all of them, with no formal education in any. --JeevesMkII The gentleman's gentleman at the other site 00:40, 13 October 2011 (UTC)
Brilliant post by Conservative, International man person unknown number of individuals of indeterminate gender of mystery. Phiwum (talk) 01:21, 13 October 2011 (UTC)

Speaking of small stands Ed actually deletes some uncited twaddle from Homosexual Agenda.img I'm beginning to think someone had put an inhalant in his schoolgirl panties, but then he "tweaks the lede"img on Bestiality (wondered when he'd start collaborating on Ken's new obsession), but won't directly challenge Conservative by correcting any of that crapfest. Godspeed (talk) 01:24, 13 October 2011 (UTC)

I like how Ed ignored (just like every other fucking sysop) Max's plea on his talkpage, but instantly reacted when Max became uncivil, calling the block a "one time act of mercy". Same goes for Ken, EdPoop? He still hasn't responsed to Max on the section. Just like Andy, he's hoping to wait until it goes away. AndyToad.gifNorsemanCyser Melomel 12:44, 13 October 2011 (UTC)

The dangerous stirrings of thoughts[edit]

Does anyone worry for Uncle Ed here? Some of his actions show the dangerous stirrings of thoughts. If he ever actually sits down to think about having his name be on a project with content like Ken's what will happen to him? Will he become RobSmith 2.0? If he ever stopped denying the ideological censorship that surrounds the project I can't help but think that he would do something about it, which would mean a defrocking for sure. --Opcn (talk) 02:55, 13 October 2011 (UTC)

Ed will never risk his power. He's testing the waters. Minor tweaks and corrections, a miniscule block... he's seeing how the tribe reacts. He might gain confidence and ramp it up slowly but the very moment he sees he might be falling out of favour with Il Duce (i.e. getting the silent treatment while engaging with Ken) he'll pull back. ONE / TALK 08:40, 13 October 2011 (UTC)
No chance of it happening. Just like the other sysops, it's more important for Ed to suck up to Andy than to ensure the project runs as it should. Then again, I also think that Ed is on a secret mission from the Moonies to turn CP into a steaming heap of crap (mission accomplished?), thus enabling Moonie-o-pedia to swoop in and take over Andy's little project. In a way, Ed is the conservative-fundie equivalent of David Icke - where you are so godawfully awful, that the only reason for your existence is to discredit anybody else even remotely linked to the crap you are involved in. --PsyGremlinSnakk! 09:15, 13 October 2011 (UTC)