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“”Q: Can God create a rock big enough that even he can't lift?
A: NO!!! There are plenty of things God can't do, but that doesn't mean that He isn't God. It just means it is outside of his character.
|—Mark Cahill, in a typically incoherent fashion, |
Mark Cahill is an evangelist from Stone Mountain, Georgia who sells mass-market Christian paperback books, including One Thing You Can't Do In Heaven. His books mainly function as step-by-step instructions on how to annoy the hell out of friends, family, coworkers, and complete strangers by spreading the good news to the lost. He also publishes annoying little fundie tracts and strongly advocates littering the countryside with them.
One of Cahill's favorite tactics is stuffing evangelism tracts inside of soda pop cartons in the local grocery store.
One reason I hate to go to grocery stores is that I can’t usually do as much witnessing there as I would like. So to make the most of the opportunities, I park at the far end of the parking lot and place tracts on the cars as I walk in. Then once inside, I walk over to the beer section and slide a small tract (two inches by three inches) inside twelve-packs and cases of beer. Then I head over to the twelve-packs of Coke and Pepsi. Those companies are so thoughtful they actually put a slit on the side of their cartons that is just perfect for sliding tracts into! I figure if Cracker Jacks can give people a surprise, why can’t I?:67
Great places for finding the lost also include malls, music and art festivals, beaches, sporting events, and bar sections of towns.
One gentleman I know has a motto when it comes to witnessing: "Let Satan draw them together, and we will witness to them." What a motto! Let Satan do all the work of bringing people together, then we can just show up and share the gospel. Malls, sporting events, coffee shops, college campuses, tailgating parties before football games, concerts, art festivals, music festivals, festivals of any kind, parks, spring break gatherings, beaches, bar sections of towns, laundromats, bus stations, etc.—all of these are great places where we can witness and hand out tracts.:35
You cannot go to heaven by being Roman Catholic. You cannot go to heaven by being a Baptist. You cannot go to heaven by being a Presbyterian, a Methodist, an Episcopal or a Charismatic. You cannot go to heaven by being a Muslim. You cannot go to heaven by being a Hindu. You cannot go to heaven by being a Buddhist.
2) The fossil record should contain millions of transitional forms, but there isn’t a single one; instead, it shows only complete kinds, fully formed.
3) Every supposed “missing link” between animals and man has been disproved.
Fundies versus fundies
Cahill's formal training in religious studies and theology consists of attending Auburn University on a basketball scholarship and getting a bachelor's degree in business. Displaying the amazing ignorance common to many fundies, he pissed off Calvinists by calling them heretics and distanced himself from other ministries that "hold to Reformed Theology."[note 1] Cahill, the false prophet and fable pusher, furnished this reply to Calvinist criticism:
There are fables being taught and false prophets everywhere in our world. Are you sure you haven’t been captured by one of them?
- Mark Cahill. No Excuses. markcahill.org. Retrieved 31 July 2015.
- Mark Cahill. One Thing You Can't Do In Heaven (ISBN 978-0-9643665-8-9). Biblical Discipleship Publishers. 2007. markcahill.org. Retrieved 31 July 2015.
- Mark Cahill. Do Devils Speak Louder Than You? markcahill.org. Retrieved on 3 August 2015.
- Calvin Smith. Sleeping with the enemy; Is teaching theistic evolution the solution? creation.com. Retrieved on 3 August 2015.
- Mark Cahill. Contend.
- Mark Cahill. One Thing You Can't Do in Heaven Study Guide. markcahill.org. Retrieved on 30 July 2015.
- Mark Cahill biography. amazon.com.
- Ken Silva, The "Different God" of Calvinists and Mark Cahill Announcement. apprising.org, 1 October 2010.
- Ken Silva, Warnings Concerning Mark Cahill. apprising.org, 2 November 2012.
- Mark Cahill – Sad and Shocking News. airocross.com, 13 October 2010.