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Mark Cahill

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Q: Can God create a rock big enough that even he can't lift?
A: NO!!! There are plenty of things God can't do, but that doesn't mean that He isn't God. It just means it is outside of his character.
—Mark Cahill, in a typically incoherent fashion, sidesteps answers the Omnipotence paradox.[1]

Mark Cahill is an evangelist based out of Stone Mountain, Georgia, known best for his cult recruitment instructional manuals books such as One Thing You Can't Do In Heaven.[2] His books mainly function as step-by-step instructions on how to annoy the hell out of friends, family, coworkers, and complete strangers spread the good news to the lost.

A favorite tactic of his is stuffing evangelism tracts inside of soda pop cartons in the local grocery store.[3] Great places for finding the lost also include malls, music and art festivals, beaches, sporting events, and bar sections of towns.[4]

His books also help to educate the ignorant of the very real existence of angels and demons[5], as well as the dangers of evolutionists,[6] Buddhists,[7] fornicators, and pot smokers.

Cahill is well versed in fundamentalist pseudoscience, pseudoarchaeology, and other jargon. For example, his indoctrination materials include the following guidance:

When you encounter people who believe that evolution disproves God, what four scientific facts could you share to show that evolution cannot be true?

1) The mathematical probability of the human body being assembled is astronomical—far beyond “absolutely impossible.”

2) The fossil record should contain millions of transitional forms, but there isn’t a single one; instead, it shows only complete kinds, fully formed.

3) Every supposed “missing link” between animals and man has been disproved.

4) There are no half creatures that are currently evolving from one kind to another; we see only whole animal kinds.[8]

See also[edit]


  1. Mark Cahill. No Excuses. Retrieved 31 July 2015.
  2. Mark Cahill. One Thing You Can't Do In Heaven (ISBN 978-0-9643665-8-9). Biblical Discipleship Publishers. 2007. Retrieved 31 July 2015.
  3. Mark Cahill. One Thing You Can't Do In Heaven, p. 67.

    One reason I hate to go to grocery stores is that I can’t usually do as much witnessing there as I would like. So to make the most of the opportunities, I park at the far end of the parking lot and place tracts on the cars as I walk in. Then once inside, I walk over to the beer section and slide a small tract (two inches by three inches) inside twelve-packs and cases of beer. Then I head over to the twelve-packs of Coke and Pepsi. Those companies are so thoughtful they actually put a slit on the side of their cartons that is just perfect for sliding tracts into! I figure if Cracker Jacks can give people a surprise, why can’t I?

  4. Mark Cahill. One Thing You Can't Do In Heaven, p. 35.

    One gentleman I know has a motto when it comes to witnessing: "Let Satan draw them together, and we will witness to them." What a motto! Let Satan do all the work of bringing people together, then we can just show up and share the gospel. Malls, sporting events, coffee shops, college campuses, tailgating parties before football games, concerts, art festivals, music festivals, festivals of any kind, parks, spring break gatherings, beaches, bar sections of towns, laundromats, bus stations, etc.—all of these are great places where we can witness and hand out tracts.

  5. Mark Cahill. Do Devils Speak Louder Than You? Retrieved on 3 August 2015.
  6. Calvin Smith. Sleeping with the enemy; Is teaching theistic evolution the solution? Retrieved on 3 August 2015.
  7. Mark Cahill. Contend.

    You cannot go to heaven by being Roman Catholic. You cannot go to heaven by being a Baptist. You cannot go to heaven by being a Presbyterian, a Methodist, an Episcopal or a Charismatic. You cannot go to heaven by being a Muslim. You cannot go to heaven by being a Hindu. You cannot go to heaven by being a Buddhist.

  8. Mark Cahill. One Thing You Can't Do in Heaven Study Guide. Retrieved on 30 July 2015.

External links[edit]