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One of the world's many
Systems and types
Lousy countries
I’d like to go to Russia very much – although the bastards murdered half my family.
—Prince Philip[1]

Russia, officially the Russian Federation (Russian: Российская Федерация tr: Rossiyskaya federatsiya), is where invasions go to die (unless you're the Mongols). It's the largest country in the world, situated between Europe and Asia, or encompassing the majority of Europe, or taking up all of Northern Asia. Take your pick; it's a subcontinent in its own right thanks to Siberia.

As the successor to the Soviet Union, the Russian Federation includes 83 oblasts, republics, autonomous republics, territories, districts and federal cities. This is even more complicated than it sounds. Imagine if the US had 83 states that occasionally had shooting wars with each other.


Despite Russia housing hundreds of ethnic groups, those are mainly concentrated in semi-autonomous republics. Russia is overwhelmingly slavic, and a shared Russian identity is a core part of their fabric. Is all Slav, is brothers: Have in common borscht, pickles, black bread, wodka, cigarette, Adidas tracksuit,[2] and sense of existential despair.

The Soviet Union was hit particularly hard by the war. Something like 26 million people died between 1941-45. They still have an imbalance in gender as a result.[3]

Famous Russians[edit]

  • Fyodor Dostoevsky — probably the best known Russian writer among Westerners.
  • Yuri Gagarin — the first man in space.
  • Lev Landau — 1962 Nobel Prize laureate in physics.
  • Dmitri Mendeleev — Developer of the modern periodic table.
  • Vladimir Nabokov — the Russian-American writer best known for his novel Lolita.
  • Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky — one of the world's most popular classical composers.
  • Leo Tolstoy — rivals Dostoevsky in popularity, best known for his monumental work "War and Peace".
  • Nikolai Vavilov — a geneticist who was persecuted by Stalin's regime.

and so many more of them…

The Eastern Front[edit]

Anything up to five degrees below zero I don't even notice. Quite a number of young people of today already wear shorts all the year round; it is just a question of habit. In the future, I shall have an SS Highland Brigade in lederhosen.
Adolf Hitler, meteorologist

Napoleon found his grip on Europe weakening thanks to Spain, and was in search of a big symbolic victory over Russia. His first objective was taking Vilnius. When he took Vilnius without having fought the Russian army, he decided to move straight into Russian territory in the direction of Moscow, hoping that this would cause Alexander to bend the knee. Napoleon's subordinates were urging him to halt and dig in for the winter, but Napoleon saw this as admitting defeat, so he marched on. ("Avant deux mois, la Russie me demandera la paix.") By the time the Russians finally stopped "retreating", Napoleon had lost most of his 600,000 men to the arduous pursuit, starvation, exhaustion, and garrison duty.

Hitler had similar delusions, and on the anniversary of Napoleon's statement, he began the "European crusade against Bolsehvism." The Second World War was already over when the Germans bit off more than they could chew and attacked Russia in winter. Russians were literally throwing live Nazis on the ground, spraying water on them until they frozeWikipedia's W.svg, and then driving over them like roads. Old joke: What's the only thing the Nazis didn't slap a swastika on? Answer: Moscow.[4]

Exporters of democracy[edit]

The sucking-up to the master is completely genuine, but as we’re all liberated 21st-century people who enjoy Coen brothers films, we’ll do our sucking up with an ironic grin while acknowledging that if we were ever to cross you we would quite quickly be dead.
—Peter Pomerantsev[5]

After experimenting with anarchy democracy in the 90s under Yeltsin, Russia is, thanks to Vladimir Putin, an enlightened "sovereign democracy",[6] which has cut assassinations of journalists down to only two or three a year,[7][8] and doesn't cut off the gas supply every time a foreign country criticizes it. Their "democracy" is now so successful that the United Russia party scored 238 out of 450 Duma seats in the 2011 elections with only minimal widespread electoral fraud.[9]

One of their many favorite pastimes is insisting that NATO is out to get them. Every time the situation gets a bit dicey at home the solution is easy. "Take back more of Russia!" They have enough of Russia already. That whole area of Siberia? Just develop the land slowly and you could have a country which rivals China in resources. Seems like Russia is thinking, "Tired of being cold. Maybe take back land which is warm."


Apparently, the country is also adding the spectator sport of public creationist silliness, as demonstrated by a protest by Russian Orthodox Young Earth creationists outside of Moscow's Charles Darwin museum.[10] In addition, the newer competitive events of passing laws against free speech in order to combat teh evul gay and beating up detaining human rights activists[11] and Pastafarians[12] seem to be crowd favorites as well.

European or Asian? Maybe even Eurasian[edit]

Russia is not between Europe and Asia. Europe and Asia are to the left and right of Russia. We are not a bridge between them but a separate civilizational space, where Russia unites the civilizational communities of East and West.
—Vladimir Yakunin, Russian oligarch[13]
Russia's only real geostrategic option - the option that would give Russia a realistic international role and also maximize the opportunity of transforming and socially modernizing itself - is Europe.
Zbigniew BrzezinskiWikipedia's W.svg
Russia's possible future

Given Russia's territorial belongings and peculiar history (starting off as an Eastern European country, and spending about 200 years under the Tatar yoke), there's a lot of debate about whether it actually belongs to Europe or to Asia. Nowadays most evidence, including genetics, points to the former: haplogroups in Russian genetic pool form a cluster with Northern and Eastern Europeans, especially Ukrainians and Poles,[14][15] but are very far from Turkish and Mongol groups.[16] This is also evident in the country's traditions and customs, which originate from Slavic paganism, Eastern Byzantine Orthodoxy, and Western European culture.

Nevertheless, it was a common propaganda tactic in the 19th century to portray Russians as "asiatic" (which, due to the epoch's racialist trends, was just a euphemism for "barbaric"/"inferior"). This view was promoted by France after the 1812 defeat (most notably by Henri Martin), by Poland after the suppression of the November Uprising, and by Britain during the Great GameWikipedia's W.svg; about a century later, it was also exploited by Nazis during WW2 in order to justify the Russians' "racial inferiority" and the conquest of USSR. After 1945, when racialism quickly declined in popularity, the association between Russia and Mongols/nomads also went out of fashion since it lost its propaganda value; nowadays it remains popular only among hardcore Ukrainian nationalists who seek to establish their country as the true heir to Kievan Rus. Some Russians argue that the country has a unique "Eurasian" path between East and West; history disagrees, however: Russia's closest cultural ties have always been with the West, and the relations with Asian countries were of the same type that Britain had with India: either conquest or trade.

Russian-American writer Nabokov provides an interesting take on this question in his novel "Ada or Ardor: A Family ChronicleWikipedia's W.svg". It takes place in an alternate reality called Antiterra (Demonia), in which Russia and the US are comprised into one country called Estotia, and the Russo-Anglo-American Atlantic world is fighting the Golden Horde in this world's analogue of the Cold War.[17]

Indigenous affairs[edit]

41 of the over one hundred ethnic groups in Russia are legally recognized as “Indigenous small-numbered peoples of the North, Siberia, and the Far East.” To receive legal protection, these peoples must number less than 50,000 people, maintain a traditional way of life, and inhabit separate territories. There are also 24 larger ethnic groups that are identified as national identities but which do not qualify for assistance. Unemployment in Indigenous populations is 1½-2 times higher and incomes are 2-3 times lower than other Russians with over a decade's difference in life expectancy for men and women. [18]

LGBT rights[edit]

We live in a modern European country, yet we have a law that divides people up into types and categories and says that the basis of the declaration on human rights is a crime.
—Anton Krasovsky on gay rights, who was fired from the government-run KontrTV for publicly coming out gay.[19]

Russia does not have a very proud record when concerning LGBT rights. While same-sex activity in of itself is considered legal since 1993,[20] there are no anti-discrimination laws that protect gay people from having hate crime committed against them in any services, nor is same-sex marriage of any sort formally recognized. Additionally, while gay people are legally allowed to openly serve in military, there is an unofficial don't ask, don't tell policy in place.[21] In fact, at the 2014 Sochi Olympic Games, athletes were told that it's okay to be gay as long as they don't say it in front of the children's faces.[22] The laws against gay "propaganda" use this exact rationale, with a bit of offending religious fee-fees mixed in on top of it.[23][24] Due to these overly draconian and the nakedly discriminatory nature of these laws, protests surrounding the 2014 Sochi Olympics were widespreadWikipedia's W.svg, including asking the International Olympic Committee to move the games to another country and encouraging athletes to boycott the event and Russian products, most notably Russian vodka. Since 2013, Vladimir Putin has signed a law forbidding gay couples from countries that recognize same-sex marriage to adopt Russian children, claiming to "protect" them from "complexes, emotional suffering and stress."[25] Gay pride parades were never officially granted and were usually met with vast amounts of homophobia;[26] most notably, the biggest of the gay pride parades in Russia, the annual Moscow PrideWikipedia's W.svg parade was described as "satanic" by former Moscow mayor Yuri Luzkhov and believes that a ban on gay pride parades would reduce the spread of HIV/AIDS. Since then, gay parades have been banned in Moscow for 100 years.[27][28] Due to this tomfoolery, the European Court of Human Rights has fined Russia for the gay parade ban.[29]

Public opinion doesn't fare better than official policy. A majority 85% of polled Russians by the All-Russian Public Opinion Center are strongly opposed to same-sex marriage and 88% support the gay propoganda ban.[30] Additionally, a poll conducted by the Levada Center has a 35% of Russians thinking that homosexuality is a disease and 43% believe to be a bad habit.[30]

The Chechen Republic has entirely its own story to tell how it feels about gay rights.

Transgender people fare slightly better in Russia, though some more work needs to be done. They are legally allowed to change their gender, but doing so requires sterilization.[31] Though recently, in order to reduce driving-related fatalities, a ridiculous Russian amendment has classified transgenderism, along with other sexual preferences including pedophilia as a "mental disease" and thus, it impairs the person the ability to drive a vehicle properly.[32] There's not even a convenient correlation does not imply causation fallacy to back that ridiculous reasoning up, since Russia has one of the worst road accident fatalities in the world, much worse than countries that are more accepting of transgendered (and the other of the classified "mentally ill" sexual preferences) people as drivers such as the United States, Great Britain, France, Germany, etc.[33] The only reason traffic fatalities will go down after introduction of the bill is generally less drivers on the road to begin with, assuming that there will be any impact on the driver-base of Russia at all since it targets only a small minority of people. Enforcing this amendment to root out the crazy transgendered drivers is another story altogether.


       Siberian Federal District        Geographic Russian Siberia        Historical Siberia (and present Siberia in some usages)Oh, and the shape of the Siberian Federal District? That's this guy's doing.

Siberia is the Asian portion of Russia (a "portion" comprising two-thirds of the country's landmass, though home to only one-quarter of the population). It became notorious as the destination of prisoners of conscience exiled during the times of the Russian Empire and of the Soviet Union. So notorious is the association of the words Siberia and prison that the place is routinely described as the destination of all Russian prisoners, even when they are sent to MordoviaWikipedia's W.svg, as far west of Siberia itself as London is from Warsaw.[34] Apart from its penological functions, Siberia is a major source of oil and gas. Siberia has almost every known natural resource to offer, from timber to diamonds to abandoned barrels of nuclear waste.

Today, Siberia is a mostly-settled region with several large cities connected by a network of highways and railroads; indeed, Novosibirsk, the unofficial capital of Siberia, is the third-largest city in Russia, with a population of 1.47 million people. Settlement far away from established urban centers can still be impractical due to the harsh climate and long travel distances,[35] but at least the era of the phrase "send them to Siberia" in the sense of imprisonment or exile is almost over. However, the imprisonment of Mikhail KhodorkovskyWikipedia's W.svg in a Siberian penal colony[36] shows that this assumption is a bit premature.

Русский язык[edit]

The Russian language uses Cyrillic characters, which was originally introduced by St. Cyril and St. Methodius from the Byzantine empire to spread Christianity. It uses 33 characters, with two silent characters, one indicating palatalization (Ь) and a hard character (Ъ) that is rarely used. Other languages that use Cyrillic include Ukrainian, Belorussian, Bulgarian, Serbian, Mongol, and Macedonian. While Cyrillic appears to be significantly different from Latin, it uses quite a few characters that look and sound alike to their Latin counterparts, examples being А, К, М, О, and Т. However, other characters can look like their Latin counterparts but have drastically different sounds, such as В sounding like v as in "van" and Р sounding like r as in "rat".

Due to the high and widespread influence of the English language, especially after the collapse of the Soviet Union, the term "RunglishWikipedia's W.svg" is used to describe the adaptation of English words and phrases into a Russian sound-alike, such as calling "ice cream" by its English name with Russian inflections rather than "мороженое" (morozhenoye).[37] The term "Runglish" was first coined by Sergei Krikalyov, and it was initially used to describe the hybrid language used by Americans and Russians in the International Space Station, since both languages are required to learn to fully operate as cosmonaut.[38] Nationalists are not a huge fan of it, to say the least, moaning that the "purity" of their language is being invaded by the West.[39] Because of this, the Russian government dubbed 2007 the "Year of the Russian Language", in an attempt to preserve it.[39]


Vodka is — not surprisingly — the national beverage. Thirty percent of all deaths in 2012 were attributable to alcohol according to the OECD.[40] Researchers found that Russian men who drink large amounts of vodka have a 35% risk of death before age 55.[41]


The Chechen Republic (more commonly known as Chechnya) is a constituent republic, known for separatism, terrorism, and being an enormous pain for Moscow. There have been no fewer than 2 civil wars between the Chechen separatists and the Federal Russian Government following the dissolution of the USSR. Currently, the score stands as 1 win for the separatists, and a more recent win for the Russian Federal Government.

For modern-day Russia, the Chechen wars drastically reshaped both countries, their leaders, and their peoples for decades to come. President Boris Yeltsin, planning a blitzkrieg against the separatists, quickly collapsed under his own weight and the war descended into a quagmire, humiliating the Kremlin and forcing them to essentially sue for peace. In comes Prime Minister Putin who orchestrated a far more organized and brutal campaign against the separatists, beating them down and flattening the country before installing the Kadyrov clan into power. The Chechen wars helped destroy Yeltsin's approval ratings while turning Putin into an eternally popular strongman, whose tough talk, uncompromising rhetoric, and insistence that "There is no border with Chechnya" won over many disaffected Russians who resented the separatists' terrorism.[42] [43]

The President of the Chechen Republic is Ramzan Kadyrov, a barely 40-year-old man who passes time by joking about killing members of the opposition.[44] [45] He acts like a warlord, crushing any and all opposition,[46] presiding over abuses of human rights by his unaffiliated supporter militias,[47][48] and more recently, putting gay men in concentration campsWikipedia's W.svg while insisting there are no gay men in his country; he went on record to brag about how he wants to eliminate the gay population before the end of 2017.[49] [50] Putin has agreed with the Chechen leader that these camps do not exist, and that gay people aren't being systematically persecuted for being gay since gays don't actually exist.[51] In effect, the Kremlin has fed a dragon that's gotten too big for even them to control.[52][53] Putin has little choice but to back Kadyrov and not truly investigate the allegations,[54] lest he risk pissing off the real-life Ramsay Bolton.[55] [56]

См. также[edit]



  1. Prince Philip quotes: Relive his classic gaffes on his 94th birthday By Paul Cockerton (07:30, 10 Jun 2015 Updated 07:37, 10 Jun 2015) Daily Mirror.
  2. Fedorova, Anastasiia, "Adidas: A Love Story", Calvert Journal.
  3. Gao, George, "Why the former USSR has far fewer men than women", Pew Research 14 August 2015.
  4. Hoffman, William, "Diary of a German Solider".
  5. Pomerantsev, Peter, "Putin's Rasputin", London Review of Books Vol. 33 No. 20, 20 October 2011 pg. 3-6.
  6. Similarly, the Russian economy has developed from Yeltsin's crony capitalism to a stable and diversified economy under Putin.
  7. See Russian Journalist Assassination Comes After U.S. Congressional Resolutions Urging Protection for Media and Wikipedia's list of journalists killed in RussiaWikipedia's W.svg
  8. Because that is how many it takes to intimidate the surviving journalists.
  9. Russians protest against election fraud, Australian Broadcasting Corporation
  10. Russian Creationists Denounce Evolution, Dispatches From the Culture Wars
  11. Russia: Investigate Violent Raid on Rights Group, Human Rights Watch
  12. Humor failure in Russia: Crackdown on 'Pastafarians' shows Kremlin-church ties, NBC
  13. Vladimir Putin: The rebuilding of ‘Soviet’ Russia, BBC
  14. Mitochondrial DNA sequence diversity in Russians
  15. Two Sources of the Russian Patrilineal Heritage in Their Eurasian Context
  16. Neatly explained by the fact that Mongols rarely had direct contact with Russians.
  17. The geography of Antiterra
  18. "Who are the Indigenous People of Russia?" Cultural Survival, February 19, 2014
  19. Krasovsky, Anton (May 14, 2013) I came out because gay people in Russia are suffering – it's time for courage The Guardian. Retrieved January 10, 2018.
  20. Russia: Update to RUS13194 of 16 February 1993 on the treatment of homosexuals. (February, 29, 2000). Refworld. Retrieved January 10, 2018.
  21. Tolkueva, Irina (Dececember 1, 2003) Gays are not Willingly Accepted in the Russian Army PravadaReport. Retrieved January 9, 2018.
  22. Brydum, Sunnivie (August 12 2013) Russia Proposes 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' Olympics. Advocate. Retrieved January 9, 2018.
  23. Elder, Miriam (June 11, 2013) Russia passes law banning gay 'propaganda' The Guardian. Retrieved January 9, 2018.
  24. Gevisser, Mark (December 27, 2013) Life Under Russia’s ‘Gay Propaganda’ Ban. The New York Times. Retrieved January 9, 2018.
  25. Russia's Putin signs law limiting adoption by gays. (July 3, 2013). USA Today. Retrieved January 9, 2018.
  26. Moscow bans 'satanic' gay parade. (January 29, 2007). BBC News. Retrieved January 10, 2018.
  27. Gay parades banned in Moscow for 100 years. (August 12, 2012). BBC News. Retrieved January 10, 2018.
  28. "Not The Onion", indeed.
  29. European court fines Russia for banning gay parades. (March 6,2012) . BBC News. Retrieved January 10, 2018.
  30. 30.0 30.1 Herszenhorhn, David M. Gays in Russia Find No Haven, Despite Support From the West The New York Times. Retrieved January 10, 2018.
  31. (May 21, 2013) Map shows how Europe forces trans people to be sterilized Gay Star News. Retrieved January 10, 2018.
  32. Walker, Shaun Transgender people in Russia banned from driving, says legal amendment. The Guardian. Retrieved January 10, 2018.
  33. WHO Road Safety charts from 2015. Retrieved January 10, 2018.
  34. "Mordovia, while Maria Alyokhina was shipped to a similar institution in Perm. The two cities, located in the freezing central region of Siberia..." So the Republic of Mordovia is a city now? And Perm, although a city, lies on the other side of the Urals from Siberia...
  35. Yakutsk, the saddest city in the world.
  36. Welcome to penal colony YaG 14/10. Now the home of one of Russia's richest men, The Guardian (He's since been freed and giving Rosneft a run for its money.)
  37. Feur, Alan (June 14, 2005) For the Thirsty Runglish Speaker: Try an Ized Cyawfeh. The New York Times. Retrieved January 9, 2018.
  38. Hamer, Ashley. (March 24, 2017) ISS Astronauts Speak In A "Space Creole" Called Runglish. Curiosity. Retrieved January 9, 2018.
  39. 39.0 39.1 Blomfield, Adrian. (September 12, 2003) English invades Russian language. The Telegraph. Retrieved January 9, 2018.
  40. Russian official urges action on workplace alcohol abuse (Wednesday, September 16, 2015) Irish Examiner.
  41. Russian men losing years to vodka: Spirit linked to 35% of cases where a man dies before age 55, with study citing national sport of spectacular drunkenness (Friday 31 January 2014 11.55 EST) The Guardian.
  42. http://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/features/2014/12/chechnya-russia-20-years-conflict-2014121161310580523.html
  43. http://www.worldaffairsjournal.org/article/chechnya-russia%E2%80%99s-forgotten-war
  44. http://www.newsweek.com/chechen-head-kadyrov-puts-russian-opposition-leader-sniper-scope-421579
  45. http://mashable.com/2016/02/01/chechen-leader-puts-putin-critics-in-crosshairs/#HcMDwP5aRPqk
  46. http://www.waynakh.com/eng/2011/08/sex-slavery-and-death-await-women-seized-by-kadyrovs-bandits/
  47. http://pantheon.hrw.org/legacy/backgrounder/eca/chechnya1106/3.htm
  48. https://www.rferl.org/a/1071107.html
  49. https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/21/world/europe/chechnya-russia-attacks-gays.html
  50. http://attitude.co.uk/chechnyas-president-vows-to-eliminate-gay-population-by-the-end-of-may/
  51. Dearden, Lizzie (April 20, 2017) Russia backs Chechnya government's denials over killing and torture of gay men. The Independent. Retrieved January 10, 2018.
  52. http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/02/08/putins-dragon
  53. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/sep/23/putins-closest-ally-and-his-biggest-liability
  54. https://m.themorningbulletin.com.au/news/gay-men-rounded-held-secret-prisons-reports-sugges/3170885/
  55. http://www.ecfr.eu/article/commentary_why_putin_wont_get_tough_on_kadyrov_7278
  56. http://www.nybooks.com/daily/2017/05/19/putins-monster-ramzan-kadyrov/