Czech Republic

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Czechia (as nobody calls it[1]), formerly known as the Czech Republic, known before that as the Czechoslovak Republic, and before that as Bohemia, is a country in Central Europe, and is a member of the European Union. Its capital is Prague, and the country is historically and ethnically split into Moravia (the eastern third), Bohemia (the western two-thirds, sometimes used to refer to Czechia as a whole instead), and Czech Silesia, a tiny piece of Silesia the Austrians kept after Prussia took over the rest (it increased in area slightly following the First World War). Czechia has had a tortuous history:

800-915: Consisted of the Duchies of Bohemia and Moravia (the latter one controlled what is now eastern Hungary, but lost it to them during the tenth century), both of which maintained power by building forts all over the place. Things got a little nervous after Poland was united under Duke Meiszko. Although Moravia was initially the senior Czech state, it declined and was eventually conquered by Bohemia, which is why Prague became the capital of Czechia rather than Mikulčice.

915-938: Ruled by Duke Vaclav I of Bohemia, immortalized in the song "Good King Wenceslas". He allied himself with Henry the Fowler, possibly in order to get a free turkey[note 1] every Christmas.

1419 and 1618: The defenestrations of Prague.Wikipedia's W.svg

1918-93: See Czechoslovakia.

1992-3 Slovak politician Vladimír Mečiar wants to be Prime Minister, but his Slovak party is too small to form a government. He craftily (and successfully) agitates for Slovakian independence, and gets to be PM after all. The Czech Republic is born.

2004 The Czech Republic decides that it's far too interesting, so it joins the European Union.

2016 The Czech Republic decides that its English name is too long so it chooses Czechia as its new shorthand.

Czech mates[edit]

  • Good King Wenceslas
  • Franz Kafka (German-speaking)
  • Karel Čapek, who gave us the word "robot"
  • Vaclav Havel
  • Milan Kundera
  • A shitload of tennis players
  • A shitload of gymnasts
  • Petr Čech! You get it!
  • Bedřich Smetana, composer of Ma Vlast
  • Antonín Dvořák, a composer who had to go to America and tell them how good their own music was and to stop listening to European composers all the time.
  • Miloš Forman, director of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
  • Eva Herzigova
  • Ivana Trump
  • Sigmund Freud, great psychologist even if he wasn't really Czech even if he was born there (culturally German)
  • Gustav Mahler, a great composer or the worst who ever put music onto a score, depending upon one's view… largely honored in the Czech Republic even if culturally German.

Other things[edit]

  • Robots!Wikipedia's W.svg
  • The Golem of Prague (a Jewish[citation needed] robot made of clay. Or something)
  • Budweiser beer — the proper one[citation NOT needed], not the shitty American stuff.
  • Skoda — the car that became the butt of a thousand jokes — Now bought up by VW and basically the same car as the equivalent VW for half the price.
  • The White Shorthair and Brown Shorthair goats
  • The Gypsy wall
  • SemtexWikipedia's W.svg — the 2nd word Czech(oslovakia) gave to the world.
  • Quite possibly, the most beautiful national anthem in the world. Not surprising — since the tune was lifted from a work by Mozart[citation needed].


  1. which would be difficult, turkeys being unknown in Europe at that time and all…