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Doughism is the belief that eating a diet of only raw cookie dough will prevent all disease and lead to purely healthy living. According to its adherents, raw cookie dough has everything that the body needs to survive. Indeed, some strange woo-meisters wise sages living under your local bridge purport that cookie dough is the cure for everything, including AIDS, cancer, and even death.


The major schism in the religion is between those who favor chocolate chip cookie dough (Cocists) and those that don't, who are often subdivided between those that favor oatmeal cookie dough (Oatestants) and others prefer peanut butter cookie dough (Peabuttarians), with those that claim any form of raw cookie dough will serve (Pandoughists) to round out the lot. Lastly, the Postovenist sect claims that, even after baking, cookie dough will still preserve one's health.

There are even a few radicals who enjoy eating bread dough, or chewing it like gum until only the gluten is left. Those weirdoughs need to be purged.

In reality[edit]

In reality, eating raw cookie dough is not only poor nutrition, but is also potentially dangerous if made from scratch, because diseases, such as salmonella, may be present in the dough's raw eggs (although this can easily be obviated by using pasteurized eggs) or raw flour (which can be fixed by baking the flour by itself first). Not that anyone actually cares.

See also[edit]