Jesus Shot

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Against allopathy
Alternative medicine
Clinically unproven
Not to be confused with a body shot.

The Jesus Shot is an assassination attempt on Jesus by a time traveler one of the most famous motifs in Western artWikipedia an infamous association football goalWikipedia hilarious Jesus's finishing move a US$300 concoction developed by John Michael "Dr. Mike"[note 1] Lonergan in order to treat pain for life. What the ingredients might be is not disclosed by him, though a local news investigation found the Shot to contain vitamin B12 and two steroid drugs: dexamethasoneWikipedia and triamcinolone acetonide.Wikipedia[1]

Steroid injections are often used for pain, although they only provide short-term relief. The average remission of pain for steroid treatments is about 1 week. Dr. Mike claims to have invented the shot around 1983,[2] but did not make it available to the public until the 2010s. One is left to wonder why such a compassionate doctor would sit on the cure for pain for three decades until suddenly remembering it after a stint in jail.

Dr. Mike[edit]

Dr. Mike has a storied history, to say the least. He was a licensed doctor in Ohio until he served time for 8 felonies involving tax evasion, mail fraud, and healthcare fraud.[3][4][5] Court records during this time showed confusing circumstances as he never spoke with his attorney from December 2004 to June 2005, the attorney claiming they couldn't meet because he was in jail, who then never showed up for his appeal hearing. If lawyers were banned from prisons it would be sure to be national news.

After serving his sentence in Ohio, and having his Ohio medical license revoked, Oklahoma opened its doors and licensed Dr. Mike. He was initially only allowed to practice under supervision but as of March 2013, this supervision stopped. In March 2016 the Oklahoma state medical board started its own investigation into his wonder Shot after an investigation by a local news station.

In 2016, Dr. Mike faced renewed interest after Texas state agriculture commissioner Sid Miller was accused of using taxpayer funds to fly to Oklahoma and receive the Shot.[6][7]


  1. not to be confused with Mikhail Varshavski, the celebrity doctor also known as "Doctor Mike," who is actually deserving of the title.