Fun:Statements that are wrong on the level of a Young Earth

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Young Earth Creationists believe that the Earth is merely 6000 years old. Modern scientists put the figure at 4.54 billion years.

This article contains statements that are wrong on the level of a Young Earth -- or, off by about 6 orders of magnitude.

“”The oldest person who ever lived died after a healthy life of 1 hour, 25 minutes and 7 seconds.[1][note 1]


“”Jesus was born. He grew up, preached, was crucified, resurrected, and ascended to heaven in about 23 hours.[2][note 2][note 3]


“”The average distance between the Earth and the Sun is 197.7km (122.85 miles).[3][note 4]


“”The estimated 2011 population of the Earth was 9,216.[4][note 5]


“”The estimated 2000 BCE population of the Earth was 35.[5][note 6][note 7]


“”The 2011 GDP of the United States was $19,812,290.[6][note 8]


“”All of Shakespeare's works consists of a grand total of 1.169 words.[7][note 9]


“”The tallest man who ever lived grew to 3.59 micrometres (0.000141 inches).[8][note 10]


“”The Milky Way Galaxy contains about 533.33 stars.[9][note 11]


“”Since the Roe vs Wade decision in 1973, there have only been about 78 abortions performed in the United States.[10][note 12]


“”Since the Obergefell v. Hodges decision in 2015, there have only been about 2 gay marriages preformed in the U.S.[11][note 13]


“”As of May 26th, 2018, 7.47 articles have been written on Wikipedia.[12][note 14]


“”Scientologists believe that humanity is around 5-6 million years old.[13][note 15]


If you laughed (or at least smirked) at how insanely small these numbers are:

This is why people laugh at Young Earth Creationism.

Notes[edit]

  1. ↑ They grow up so fast.
  2. ↑ If you take 2 Peter 3:8 into account, this is surprisingly accurate!
  3. ↑ Therefore Jesus lived at least 15 times longer than the oldest person that ever lived.
  4. ↑ Global warming wouldn't be an issue, given the Sun's diameter on this scale of 1.3914 kilometers.
  5. ↑ No wonder people talk about voter fraud!
  6. ↑ Given that only 8 people survived the Global Flood back in 2348 BCE, that is surprisingly accurate!
  7. ↑ And they were all fucking chiseled after popping out the Pyramids, Stonehenge, and the entirety of China. We don't have people like that any more.
  8. ↑ And every one of the 412 Americans is damn proud of it.
  9. ↑ Shakespeare: Twitter edition (2016).
  10. ↑ Unfortunately, he died within the hour -- see #1.
  11. ↑ Twinkle twinkle little star, the darkness is everywhere
  12. ↑ Seriously, why all the fuss?
  13. ↑ All of the aforementioned 412 Americans attended both wedding ceremonies. It was, by all accounts, delightful.
  14. ↑ Wikipedia: The most trustworthy source in procrastination.
  15. ↑ PZ Myers remarks that Scientology's beliefs on the age of the universe (76 TRILLION years) are similar to creationists- but wrong in the opposite direction.

References[edit]

  1. ↑ http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/1/oldest-person-%28female%29.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/1/oldest-person-(female)
  2. ↑ See the Wikipedia article on Chronology of Jesus.
  3. ↑ http://www.space.com/17081-how-far-is-earth-from-the-sun.html
  4. ↑ https://www.google.co.uk/publicdata/explore?ds=d5bncppjof8f9_&met_y=sp_pop_totl&tdim=true&dl=en&hl=en&q=population%20of%20earth#!ctype=l&strail=false&bcs=d&nselm=h&met_y=sp_pop_totl&scale_y=lin&ind_y=false&rdim=region&ifdim=region&tdim=true&hl=en_US&dl=en&ind=false
  5. ↑ See the Wikipedia article on World population estimates.
  6. ↑ http://data.worldbank.org/indicator/NY.GDP.MKTP.CD?order=wbapi_data_value_2011+wbapi_data_value+wbapi_data_value-last&sort=desc
  7. ↑ http://www.opensourceshakespeare.org/stats/
  8. ↑ http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/records-3000/tallest-man-ever/
  9. ↑ See the Wikipedia article on Milky Way.
  10. ↑ http://www.lifenews.com/2016/01/14/58586256-abortions-in-america-since-roe-v-wade-in-1973/
  11. ↑ http://www.theatlantic.com/news/archive/2016/06/gay-marriage-obergefell-hodges/488258/
  12. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Main_Page&oldid=840611669
  13. ↑ https://tonyortega.org/2013/08/09/pz-myers-helps-us-plunder-the-riches-of-l-ron-hubbards-book-of-scientology-evolution/
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