Essay:Storkism

This essay is an original work by and copyrighted to Novvak, translated by Bertran. It does not necessarily reflect the views expressed in RationalWiki's Mission Statement, but we welcome discussion of a broad range of ideas. Feel free to comment the talk page, which will probably be far more interesting, and might reflect a broader range of RationalWiki editors' thoughts.

Storkism (Russian: креаистонизм) is a Russian parody of creationism created by RationalWikian Novvak, and translated here by Bertran. Novvak has given permission to Bertran to translate, but retains copyright.

Theory of gestation: science or religion?

If children come from the sperm, then why does sperm still exist? While one spermatozoon remained spermatozoon, the others turned into boys and girls. The theory of gestation is absurd! If the theory of gestation is false, then the storkism is true (the theory of "storkcreation"). Gestation — is a pseudoscience. It does not dedicate itself to the searching of scientific truth. This is psychological manipulation that achieves personal gain. People believe in gestation, because it is profitable for them to believe in it, to find justification for their lustful acts.

Proponents of the theory (or rather not supported hypothesis) of gestation, evolutionists, believe that such a complex organism like a child came from ejaculation. But how could something come from ejaculation? How can form a watch as the result of blowout of the parts of a watch from the hose? Moreover, the length of the hose doesn't matter. It's absurd, isn't it? And how such a large number of children — very complex organisms — could be formed?

Darwin could not explain gestation. Gestation — is only a theory. It is not proved and it hasn't predictions (the sex of child can't be determined until beginning the gestation). Therefore, the birth is an accident. Can something complex be the result of chance? Is a child the result of chance? Moreover (o my God!), the theory of gestation promotes casual sex.

Many current scientists find problem with gestation. If gestation has problems how one can believe in it blindly? Since many details of gestation are questioned by evolutionists, one should question the whole theory.

Storkists don't have such a problems. In fairness, storkism and gestation must deserve equal time in science classes. Otherwise we become extinct like a dinosaurs.

The theory of gestation is naturalistic, it doesn't explain why children have dreams in which they fly. The answer is clear for storkist: children were brought by Stork.

The theory of gestation is a circular reasoning: «Who is born? A baby. Who is the baby? Those who is born». Problems of gestation are evidence for the fact that kids were brought by Stork.

Furthermore, gestation excludes the existence or Stork. Only fools do not believe that children has been brought by Stork. The theory of gestation is anti-storkic. The purpose of scientists is to make Stork unnecessary.

The theories of gestation are always changing. Once upon a time, scientists believed that the spermatozoon contains a complete child, as in matryoshka, and so on to infinity. The theory that children were brought by Stork remains unchanged through many centuries. This is the proof that it is scientifically true.

The theory of gestation is based on mythology. Actually, this is modification of the myth of world egg from which arises everything.

Theory of gestation and second law of thermodynamics

The second law of thermodynamics, the most accurate natural law, explicitly prohibits gestation (development of ultra-complex child from the primitive sperm). According to the second law of thermodynamics, complex things turn into simple things, but not vice versa. But by gestation simple cell turns into complex organism, that consists of a lot of complex organs and tissues. How the simple cell can turn into heart, eye, muscles? This is certainly prohibited by the second law of thermodynamics. Why this false gestational theory is still teaching in the schools? The second law inambiguously suggests that children were brought by Stork!

Theory of gestation (fertilization) and probability

Gestation and fertilization require more faith than storkism. According to gestation, the child arises after fertilization of one of a thousands of ovums by one of the hundreds of millions of sperm cells. Probability is less than 1:100 000 000 000 000 000. Moreover, this unique spermatozoon must to survive, to find the ovum and to fertilize it, that is improbable itself! Even if humans would try to obtain the child in such a way, they would have to wait millions of years. But humans don't live even a thousand of years! The believing in gestation requires much more faith than believing in Stork that bring children! Still safer to believe in Stork.

Take the test tube, even with a trillion cells of sperm, liters of seminal fluid, and no one of these cells even after a trillion years will not turned into complex thing like a child. The probability is to low. The probability theory prohibits gestation. This is mathematical fact.

Experiments on artificial fertilization in vitro have been made under the false assumption on the conditions in the woman's uterus. The attempts to get any child "from tubes" were failed so far. Vaginal environment detrimental to sperm, but some "scientists" still believe in fertilization. Natural mechanisms are not sufficient for child development from the simple sperm cells. The same conclusion can be applied to the ovums.

Evolutionists try to convince us that an ovum remained the same for many years, and suddenly, quite by accident turned into a baby. Is not it absurd?

Neither the sperm cells nor the ovums themselves can not be turn into baby. This is clear for any sane person. But evolutionists continue to believe in it and they try to impose their faith to others. State-funded schools actually teach religion masquerading as science. Be careful!

Methods of dating children

Evolutionists tell us that the age of the baby is at least 9 months (from the moment of supposed fertilization). But some of the babies date as 7 months, and others — as 8 months. Soon they will prove that babies are born 11 months old! They palaver! But actually, our teeth prove that the age of any of us is no more than 15-17 days. Creation scientists find a girl that has been dated by evolutionists as 20-years old. It turned out that she has a wisdom tooth that appeared 2 days ago. If she has a tooth 2-3 days old only then how she can be 20-years old? Also, creationists found a presumably "90-year" old boy that hasn't any teeth at all. Obviously, he was brought by Stork very recently. Moreover, this "90-year" old baby was drinking milk, did not remember anything and couldn't move independently.

It is obvious that evolutionists came up with gestational theory in order to destroy storkism! But storkists-creationists will not allow them to do that. Our scientific research show that gestation is a myth.

There is one more fact that disproves the myth of 9-months gestation. This is the breath! It is known that the baby would suffocate if he will not breath more than 10 minutes. 10 minutes is much less than 9 months!

Irreducible complexity and gestation

Each child is irreducibly complex. He couldn't come from spermatozoon according to the second law of thermodynamics. According gestation the child is evolving from one primitive cell to complex organism during 9 months, and he doesn't breath by the lungs, and when the gestation starts he even has not a heart! To survive supposed embryo needs all the organs in complete stage, and that are functioning; and, of course, he must to breath by lungs all the time. New structures would be useless until fully developed. What is the use of half a heart? But according to gestational theory embryo firstly has two-chamber heart!

The eye is too complex to have arise by gestation. Spermatozoon hasn't kidneys and lungs. Where from they'll appear in it? Did they arise all together by chance? It is obviously that supposed embryo must possess them in full.

Controversy between gestational theory and facts

Storkism tells us that child arises during 5-6 minutes. It is bringing by Stork. And 9 months has been invented by evolutionists to give scientific-sounding to their pseudo-scientific hypothesis.

Small changes do not imply large changes. Sperm is always sperm.

According to this hypothesis on the sides of neck and head regions of spermatozoon inside of the girl the gill slits are developing. The circulatory system is similar to those of fishes. Two chamber heart, tail artery, blood vessels of six arches of the aorta that connect to the gill arches, swimming webs between the fingers that developing in human embryo. Is baby a fish? Stork is not living in the water. And it eats fish.

A 6-weeks human embryo, according to the theory, has the rudiments of several pairs of mammary glands along the mammary lines. Did you see all that in newly-born child?

Evolutionists claim that when embryo is 1,5-3 months old it has significantly expanded caudal section, where one also can find a final section of the fertile vertebral column with 8-9 tabs vertebrae. When gestation is finish, external section of the tell is reducing. Reducing! Therefore, this is not development, this is decay. How one can believe after that in origin of the child from spermatozoon?

According to the gestational theory the numbers children with left and right location of the heart must be equal. But this is not true. And the gestational theory doesn't explain this asymmetry.

Gestational theory and morality

Gestation is the foundation of an immoral worldview. Crime rates have increased since gestation began to be taught. The theory of gestation promotes adultery, pornography, it encourages lust. Racism and eugenics has been promoted by using this pseudoscience. According to this theory, inside of pregnant shark the stronger embryos kill the weaker ones. Therefore, gestational theory served as a justification for mass murder and genocide. Gestation is racist. Many obstetricians were racists.

Gestation can't explain intelligence and consciousness.

If one would teach that a child comes from the sperm, then people will behave like sperm. If you believe in gestational than you have been brainwashed! Do you believe that human simply is evolved spermatozoon? Do you want to be a descendant of the seminal fluid?

Storkists are prevented from publishing in science journals. This is the policy of conspiracy of scientists.

The theory of gestation can't explain baby crying and many others. Storkism does explain it: this is the stork-fall. The first child did not listen to the Stork and he try to fly by himself. The whole race of children has been pushed for it. After adolescence, those children who keep the commandments of the Stork, gain eternal childhood in school. Black Crow, who gave the Stork, wants people to forget about the Stork. For this purpose he invented a false theory of gestation.

Transitional forms

Nobody found no transitional forms between the sperm and the baby. Drawings of embryos does not look like spermatozoon. Where have you seen on one half a baby and on another a spermatozoon? There is no being that would have both the eyes and moving flagellum! Have you ever seen a spermatozoon with eyes? There is no such beings even in embryo pictures from textbooks. Spermatozoon has 23 chromosomes and a baby always has 46. Is it science?

Where are the transitional forms — embryos with three chamber heart? Even embryologists acknowledge that they doesn't exists. Where are embryos with 1, 2, 3, 4 fingers on the hand?

Frauds

E. Haeckel fabricated images of embryos. Actually, embryos don't exist! All videos of childbirth are Hollywood fakes. Soon they will begin to produce also 3D-movies. Don't be caught on their hook! Their essential purpose — to make people believe that Stork does not bring the children. And storkists know who is the real author of gestational theory.

Scientists lie when they talk about 9-month-natal development of babies. All things in the world are decayed but not developing. There is no embryogenesis: this word was coined to brainwashing.

Many obstetricians have stopped believing in the theory of pregnancy, when a brick fell from the sky on their head. Obviously, this was a sign from Stork. If a gynecologist would say persistently and aloud that children brought by Stork, he risks losing his job. Scientists are motivated to support naturalism and reject storkism.

But gestation will soon be widely rejected.

All famous scientists-ornithologists believed in Stork. They were storkists. Millions of children believe that they brought by Stork.

Links

• Original Russian text on the author's blog
• Intelligent Gestation Institute
• Höfer et al. (2004): New evidence for the Theory of the Stork. Paediatric and Perinatal Epidemiology, 18: 88–92
• The theory of Scientific Storkism
• List of creationist arguments from EvoWiki.

See also

• Scientific storkism