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RationalWiki: The Musical

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Time to put on some
Music
Icon music.png
Soundtrack
Musicians

RationalWiki: The Musical is a jukebox musicalWikipedia of choice, cutting music that matches RationalWiki mainspace pages: no crapola ("Kill Ugly Radio" — Frank Zappa), please!

Abortion[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Abortion

Animals[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Animal
  • Bird: The Trashmen's "Surfin' Bird"[3]
  • Chordata: Sam Hinton's "It's a Long Way From Amphioxus"[4]
  • Goat: Pearl Jam's "Evil Little Goat"[5]
  • Mammal: They Might Be Giants' "Mammal" [6]
  • Platypus: Randy Crenshaw's "Perry The Platypus" from Phineas & Ferb[7]
  • Reptile: Al Wilson's "The Snake"[8]
  • Sheep: Cake's "Sheep Go To Heaven"[9]
  • Sheeple: J. S.Bach's "Sheep May Safely Graze"[10]

Primate[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Primates

Humans, miscellaneous[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Human
Jack Chick[edit]
See the main article on this topic: Jack Chick
  • Alice Donut's "Lisa's Father"[59]
  • Dead Kennedys' "I Kill Children" (extracted lyrics from the comic "Why No Revival")[60]
Adolf Hitler[edit]
See the main article on this topic: Adolf Hitler
  • Mel Brooks' "Springtime for Hitler", from the 1968 version of The Producers[61]
  • Spike Jones and His City Slickers' "Der Fuehrer's Face"[62]
Nelson Mandela[edit]
See the main article on this topic: Nelson Mandela
  • Simple Minds' "Mandela Day"[63]
  • The Specials' "Nelson Mandela"[64]

Astronomy[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Astronomy

The Cosmos[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Universe

Solar System[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Solar System
  • Gustav Holst's suite "The Planets"[68]
  • John Coltrane's "Interstellar Space" album[69]
  • Mars: David Bowie's "Life on Mars?"[70]
  • The Moon: Gil Scott Heron's "Whitey on the Moon"[71]
  • The Sun: Smash Mouth's "Walkin' on the Sun"[72]
  • Uranus: Klaatu's "Hanus of Uranus"[73]
  • Venus: Lady Gaga's "Venus"[74]

Business[edit]

Conspiracy theories[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Conspiracy theory

Denialism[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Denialism

Drugs[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Drug
  • Iggy Pop's "Lust for Life"[92]
  • The Cramps' "New Kind of Kick"[93]
  • The Fall's "Mr Pharmacist"[94]
  • The Fall's "Totally Wired"[95]
  • Spacemen 3's "Taking Drugs to Make Music to Take Drugs To…"[96]
  • The Fugs' "I Couldn't Get High"[97] — the song was condemned by the future president of the Mormons[98]
  • The Verve's "The Drugs Don't Work"[99]
  • Purported legal highs: The Ramones' "Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue"[100]]

Alcohol[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Alcohol
  • George Thorogood & The Destroyers' "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer"[101]
  • Barenaked Ladies' "Alcohol" [102]
  • Refreshments' "Mekong" [103]
  • Buddy Guy's "Whiskey, Beer and Wine"[104]
  • Chumbawamba's "Tubthumping" [105] ("He drinks a whiskey drink, he drinks a vodka drink/He drinks a lager drink, he drinks a cider drink")
  • Hollywood Vampires' "My Dead Drunk Friends" [106]
  • Prohibition: Prince Buster's "Al Capone"[107]

Alcoholics Anonymous[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Alcoholics Anonymous
  • Dream Theater's "Twelve-step Suite"[108]
  • Dilly Dally's "Sober Motel"[109]

Beer[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Beer
  • Frank Yankovic & Friends' "In Heaven There Is No Beer"[110]
  • Reel Big Fish's "Beer" [111]

Cannabis[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Cannabis
  • Black Sabbath's "Sweet Leaf"[112]
  • Dr. Dre & Snoop Dogg's "The Next Episode"[113]
  • Afroman's "Because I Got High"[114]
  • Sonic Youth & Cyprus Hill's "I Love You Mary Jane"[115]
  • The Beatles' "Got To Get You Into My Life"[116]

Cocaine[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Cocaine

Heroin[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Heroin
  • Forgotten Rebels' "Surfin' On Heroin"[119]
  • The Stranglers' "Golden Brown"[120]
  • John Prine's "Sam Stone"[121]

LSD[edit]

See the main article on this topic: LSD

Tobacco smoking[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Tobacco smoking
  • Tex Ritter's "Smoke! Smoke! Smoke! (That Cigarette)"[124]
  • Princess Chelsea's "The Cigarette Duet"[125]

War on Drugs[edit]

See the main article on this topic: War on Drugs
  • System Of A Down's "Prison Song"[126]
  • The Black Crowes' "Remedy"[127]

Economics[edit]

Gambling[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Gambling
  • Dead Kennedys' "Viva Las Vegas"[135]
  • Kenny Rogers' "The Gambler"[136]

Folklore, history and pseudohistory[edit]

See the main articles on this topic: FolkloreHistory, and Pseudohistory

Halloween[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Halloween
  • Marilyn Manson's version of "This is Halloween"[149] from The Nightmare Before Christmas
  • The Shaggs' "It's Halloween"[150]
  • John Carpenter's theme for his 1978 movie Halloween[151]

King Arthur[edit]

See the main article on this topic: King Arthur

Luck[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Luck
  • Lene Lovich's "Lucky Number"[154]
  • Daft Punk's "Get Lucky"[155]

Internet[edit]

  • Porn: "The Internet Is For Porn" from the Broadway musical Avenue Q[156]
  • Spam: Monty Python's "Spam", the original[157]
  • Wolf Parade's 'Lazarus Online' [158]
  • Welcome to the Internet - Bo Burnham[159]

Law and pseudolaw[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Pseudolaw

Crime[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Crime

Native American genocide[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Native American genocide
  • The Dave Matthews Band's "Don't Drink The Water"[180]
  • Neil Young and Crazy Horse's "Cortez the Killer"[181]

Police brutality[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Police brutality

Language[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Language
  • Kikagagu Moyo's "Kodama" [185] - probably a good idea to translate the lyrics if you don't understand them.
  • "Weird Al" Yankovic's "Word Crimes"[186]
  • Esperanto: "La Espero", the anthem of the Esperanto movement, samba style![187]
  • No Cussing Club: Benny Bell's "Shaving Cream"[188]
  • Hebrew: Harry Belafonte sings "Hava Nagila"[189]
  • Latin: "Gaudeamus igitur"[190]

Good old days[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Good old days
  • Dr. Dog's "The Old Days" [191]

Magic and the paranormal[edit]

See the main articles on this topic: Magic and Paranormal

Vampire[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Vampire
  • Bauhaus' "Bela Lugosi's Dead"[198]
  • Bill Buchanan's "Beware"[199]
  • Marilyn Manson's "If I Was Your Vampire"[200]
  • Annie Lennox's "Love Song for a Vampire"[201]
  • Don Hinson & the Rigamortician's "Riboflavin-Flavored, Non-Carbonated, Polyunsaturated Blood"[202] (covered by 45 Grave)
  • Olivia Rodrigo's "Vampire"[203]
  • Godsmack's "Vampires"[204]
  • My Chemical Romance's "Vampires Will Never Hurt You"[205]

Witchcraft[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Witchcraft
  • Screamin Jay Hawkins' "I Put a Spell on You"[206]
  • Frank Sinatra's "Witchcraft"[207]

Media[edit]

Blazing Saddles[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Blazing Saddles
  • Ella Fitzgerald performs Cole Porter's "I Get a Kick Out of You"[221]
    • The Blazing Saddles version[222]
  • The original Count Basie version of "April in Paris"[223]
    • The Blazing Saddles version[224]

A Clockwork Orange[edit]

See the main article on this topic: A Clockwork Orange

Cybernetic revolt (also known as the "Terminator argument")[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Cybernetic revolt
  • Emerson Lake & Palmer's "Karn Evil 9"[226]

Dr. Strangelove[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Dr. Strangelove
  • Peter Sellers (as Dr. Strangelove) performs The Beatles' "She Loves You"[227]
  • The Offspring's "Slim Pickens Does The Right Thing And Rides The Bomb To Hell"[228]

Frankenstein[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Frankenstein
  • Zodiac Mindwarp & The Love Reaction's "Feed my Frankenstein"[229]
  • Sam Cooke's "Another Saturday Night" [230] ("Instead of being my deliverance, she had a strange resemblance/To a cat named Frankenstein")

Music[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Music
  • Heptones' (with Lee Scratch Perry) "Play on Mr Music"[231]
  • Hip-hop: The Sugarhill Gang's "Rapper's Delight"[232]
  • Mozart effect: Mozart's "Sonata for Two Pianos in D, K. 448"[233]

Rock music[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Rock music
  • AC/DC's "Let There Be Rock"[234]
  • Chuck Berry's "Rock and Roll Music"[235]
  • Joan Jett and the Blackhearts' "I Love Rock 'N Roll"[236]
  • The Kids' "This Is Rock 'N Roll"[237]
  • Led Zeppelin's "Rock and Roll"[238]
  • Rainbow's "Long Live Rock 'n' Roll"[239]

"Tomorrow Belongs to Me"[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Tomorrow Belongs to Me
  • "Tomorrow Belongs to Me"[241] from the original 1966 Broadway cast recording of Cabaret
  • "Tomorrow Belongs to Me"[242] from the soundtrack album of the 1972 film Cabaret
  • "Tomorrow Belongs to Me"[243] from a 1993 double CD studio recording of Cabaret
  • "Tomorrow Belongs to Me"[244] and its reprise[245] from the 1994 Channel 4 UK TV version of Cabaret based on the 1993 West End production
  • "Tomorrow Belongs to Me"[246] and its reprise[247] from the 2021 West End cast recording of Cabaret
  • "Tomorrow Belongs to Me" [248] from the soundtrack album of the TV series The Man in the High Castle

Please don't add any of the many recordings by Neo-Nazi dickhead bands of this song written for a 1966 American musical by two Jews, at least one of whom was gay.

Science fiction[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Science fiction
  • Ayn Rand: Rush's "2112"[249] (loosely based on her science fiction novella AnthemWikipedia)
  • Rocky Horror Picture Show's "Science Fiction/Double Feature"[250]
  • Built to Spill's "Randy Described Eternity"[251]

Philosophy and logic[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Philosophy

Death[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Death
  • Rev. Gary Davis' "Death Don't Have No Mercy"[267]
  • The Fugs' "Carpe Diem"[268]
  • Blue Öyster Cult's "Don't Fear the Reaper"[269]
  • Led Zeppelin's "In My Time of Dying"[270]
  • Charles Gounod's "Funeral March of a Marionette"[271]
  • They Might Be Giants' "Dead" [272]
  • Blanche's "Someday..." [273]
  • Jay Reatard's "It's So Easy" [274]
  • Barenaked Ladies' "Am I the Only One" [275]

Human rights[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Human rights
  • The Clash's "Know Your Rights"[276]
  • Bob Marley & The Wailers' "Get Up, Stand Up"[277]

Politics[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Politics

Alt-right[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Alt-right
  • Marjorie Taylor Greene ("Jewish space lasers"): "Jews in Space" from Mel Brooks' film History of the World: Part I[299]
  • Neoreactionary movement: The Mutants' "New Dark Ages"[300]
  • Proud Boys: Adam Jacobs singing "Proud of Your Boy" from the film Aladdin[301] — a rather syrupy ode to "Mom", which was required listening before every PB meeting during the Gavin McInnes era. It was probably used to weed-out critical thinkers just like intentionally poorly-written spam email but was also an expression of McInnes' passive aggression against his wife.

Ameriphobia[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Ameriphobia
  • L7's "American Society"[302]
  • Rammstein's "Amerika" [303]

Communism[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Communism
  • Arturo Toscanini conducts "The Internationale"[304]
  • The Eat's "Communist Radio"[305]

Dictatorship[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Dictatorship
  • The Bobs' "Dictator in a Polo Shirt"[306]
  • Judas Priest's "Tyrant"[307]
  • Groucho Marx's "These Are the Laws of My Administration" from the film Duck Soup[308]

European Union[edit]

See the main article on this topic: European Union
  • Ludwig van Beethoven's "Ode to Joy"[309]

Nations[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Nation

Police state[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Police state
  • Dead Kennedy's "Police Truck"[338]
  • Pharcyde's "Officer" [339]

Ruling class[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Ruling class
  • Leadbelly's "The Bourgeois Blues"[340]
  • Motörhead's "Eat The Rich" (from the film of the same title)[341]

Futurism[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Futurism

Pseudoscience[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Pseudoscience

Alternative medicine[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Alternative medicine

Cryptids[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Cryptid

Lycanthropy[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Lycanthropy
  • Warren Zevon's "Werewolves of London"[354]
  • Ozzy Osbourne's "Bark at the Moon"[355]
  • TV on the Radio's "Wolf Like Me"[356]
  • The Cramps' "I Was A Teenage Werewolf"[357]

Food woo[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Food woo

Ufology[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Ufology

Psychology[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Psychology

Humanistic psychology[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Humanistic psychology
  • Sudan Archives' " Selfish Soul" [379]

Stockholm syndrome[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Stockholm syndrome
  • Muse's "Stockholm Syndrome" [380]
  • Yo La Tengo's "Stockholm Syndrome" [381]
  • John Prine's "I Hate It When That Happens to Me" [382]

Racism, racialism and bigotry[edit]

See the main articles on this topic: Racism and Racialism

Slavery[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Slavery
  • Burning Spear's "Slavery Days"[393]
  • Rainbow's "Stargazer"[394]

Religion[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Religion

Book of Genesis[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Book of Genesis
  • Joseph Haydn's "The Creation"[417]
  • The "Genesis Suite", conceived by Nathaniel Shilkret, which includes collaborations from some of the greatest composers of the 20th century, such as Arnold Schoenberg and Igor Stravinsky.[418]
  • Garden of Eden Iron Butterfly's "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida"[419]

Christianity[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Christianity

Armageddon[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Armageddon
  • Venom's "At War with Satan"[442]
  • The Dickies' version of "Eve Of Destruction"[443]
  • Trivium's "Wake (The End Is Nigh)"[444]

Jesus[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Jesus
Santa Claus[edit]
See the main article on this topic: Santa Claus
  • Eartha Kitt's "Santa Baby"[448]
  • The Kinks' "Father Christmas"[449]

War on Christmas and Christmas[edit]

See the main articles on this topic: War on Christmas and Christmas
  • Perry Como's "(There's No Place Like) Home for the Holidays"[450] from 1954!
  • Bing Crosby sings Irving Berlin's "Happy Holiday"[451] from 1942!
  • John Lennon with The Plastic Ono Band and The Harlem Community Choir's "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)"[452]

Heaven[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Heaven

Hell[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Hell
  • Chris Rea's "The Road to Hell"[454]
  • AC/DC's "Highway to Hell"[455]
  • Meat Loaf's "Bat Out of Hell"[456]
  • Squirrel Nut Zippers' "Hell"[457]

Satan[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Satan
  • The Rolling Stones' "Sympathy for the Devil"[458]
  • The Charlie Daniels Band's "The Devil Went Down to Georgia"[459]
    And the long awaited sequel by Mark O'Connor featuring Johnny Cash, Charlie Daniels, Travis Tritt, and Marty Stuart: "The Devil Comes Back to Georgia"[460]
  • King Dude's "Lucifer's the Light of the World"[461]
  • Edward Hamilton's "Pack Up Your Troubles In Your Old Kit Bag And Smile, Smile, Smile!"[462] — with the original lyrics, "And smile, smile, smile. While you've a lucifer to light your fag"
  • Satanic Panic: Cake's "Pentagram"[463]

Atheism[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Atheism

Science, technology, environment, and math[edit]

See the main articles on this topic: ScienceTechnology, and Environment

Evolution[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Evolution

Medicine[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Medicine

NASA[edit]

See the main article on this topic: NASA

Radio[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Radio
  • 76% Uncertain's "I Hate the Radio"[492]
  • Stiff Little Fingers' "You Can't Say Crap On The Radio"[493]
  • Queen's "Radio Ga Ga"[494]
  • Joy Division's Transmission[495]

Transportation[edit]

Sex and gender[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Sex

BDSM[edit]

See the main article on this topic: BDSM
  • The Velvet Underground's "Venus in Furs"[519]
  • X-Ray Spex's "Oh Bondage! Up Yours!"[520] — banned by Auntie Beeb

LGBT[edit]

See the main article on this topic: LGBT

Cross-dressing[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Cross-dressing

Homosexuality[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Homosexuality
  • Gloria Gaynor sings "I Am What I Am"[525] from La Cage aux Folles
  • Sister Sledge's "We Are Family"[526] — known as a gay anthem
  • Electric Six's "Gay Bar"[527]

Transgender[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Transgender

Masturbation[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Masturbation
  • The Who's "Pictures of Lily"[533]
  • Divinyls' "I Touch Myself"[534]
  • Green Day's "All by Myself" [535]
  • Cyndi Lauper's "She Bop"[536] (a PMRC "Filthy Fifteen" hit!)

War[edit]

See the main article on this topic: War

Gunboat diplomacy[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Gunboat diplomacy
  • Tom Lehrer's "Send the Marines"[551]
  • Phil Ochs' "Cops of the World"[552] and "Santo Domingo"[553]

Nuclear war[edit]

  • Black Sabbath's "Electric Funeral"[554]
  • The Weirdos' "We Got The Neutron Bomb"[555]

The Troubles[edit]

See the main article on this topic: The Troubles
  • Stiff Little Fingers' "Alternative Ulster"[556]
  • Stiff Little Fingers' "Suspect Device"[557]

Vietnam War[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Vietnam War
  • Country Joe & the Fish's "I-Feel-Like-I'm-Fixin'-to-Die-Rag"[558]
  • Creedence Clearwater Revival's "Fortunate Son"[559]
  • The Guess Who's "American Woman"[560]
  • King Crimson's "21st Century Schizoid Man"[561]
  • Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA"[562]

World War III[edit]

See the main article on this topic: World War III
  • Tom Lehrer's "We Will All Go Together When We Go"[563]
  • Tom Lehrer's "So Long, Mom (A Song for World War III)"[564]
  • Randy Newman's "Political Science (Let's Drop the Big One Now)"[565]
  • Vera Lynn's admittedly-mawkish "We'll Meet Again", with the visuals from the ending of Dr. Strangelove turning it on its head[566]

Encore: Funspace, Helpspace, and oddments[edit]

Boredom[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Help:Bored
  • The Boredoms' "B for Boredom"[594]
  • The Buzzcocks' "Boredom"[595]

See also[edit]

Notes[edit]

  1. "There Ain't Half Been Some Clever Bastards" also references Noël Coward, Vincent van Gogh, Leonardo da Vinci and Andrés Segovia, but we don't have articles on them.
  2. This song was most likely written about George W. Bush, but it's just as applicable to Donald Trump's personality cult.
  3. The Titanic sinking has drawn a lot of conspiracy theories.
  4. There's also some ample references to cocaine usage (natch), but that doesn't really show up until the last quarter of the song.
  5. You might need to be familiar with the anime in question to fully get this one, but the comments in an older upload do helpfully explain it.